Jedoria to rebrand depression and stagnation as new “national aesthetic”The Silver Rock - Jedoria's Finest News Source
STRANA MECHTY – According to a press statement by the Bureau of Culture, the Jedorian government would officially embark on a campaign to rebrand the country’s economic stagnation and societal depression and cynicism as a new “national aesthetic”. Deputy Administrator Aurelijus Namajuska said to reporters that the decision was a “necessary one” following recent news from the Economic Bureau. “We basically had to sit down and accept the fact that despite billions of Credits in spending and subsidies we weren’t really making a lot of progress.” Namajuska said in reference to the fact that unemployment remains above 9% and GDP growth has yet to meet the government’s goal of 2.5%.
But according to Namajuska the government’s mindset was changed after it held a “sensing session” with Kalikstas Gudelis, a social media mogul who is the founder, CEO, and sole proprietor of the analysis and project management enterprise “ThinkFuture”. “We were really impressed by Mr. Gudelis’s presentation, highlighting his company’s 15,000 likes on Facebook and 3,000 followers on Twitter. According to sources close to the situation, Gudeli highlighted a number of key factors that he felt were holding Jedoria back.
“As soon as I sat down with [the leaders of the Jedorian government], I realized that we had a fundamental image problem.” Gudelis explained in a Facetime interview that he insisted take place while he was driving to his second job. “Too many people when thinking of Jedoria only see the negative part, the dilapidated infrastructure and lack of strong economic growth, and once it became clear that they were really weighed down by the fact that they were struggling to provide for the needs of all 100 million Jedorians, I realized that we needed to really turn this on its head.”
Gudelis explained he took a page out of his own self-help book “Think it, Want it, Do it”, where he explained the best way to tackle a tough problem like this was to sometimes turn it into a good thing. “I mean when you look at the numbers they’re pretty bad, but think about it; who doesn’t like a kind of run down, depressed town on some days?”
In a policy meeting he was invited to, Gudelis outlined his plan to begin marketing Jedoria to tourists as precisely the kind of place they could really kick back and just wallow in self-pity for a while. “I mean it just makes sense, given how people here are having mental health problems.” He explained, referencing a recent study which suggests that almost 15% of the Jedorian populace, mainly young people, suffer from various health issues such as depression and PTSD brought upon by spending much of their childhood engulfed in the Jedorian Civil War.
“The way we tackle that though is key,” Gudelis said, “Because now we’re going to focus on making it part of the whole aesthetic. Instead of seeking help from Jedoria’s woefully overwhelmed mental health system, we were going to encourage people to go out more, take a walk, or explore a forest or something. You know, natural health remedies.”
As for economic matters, Gudelis was confident the whole issue could be properly handled with some rebranding. “Yeah, when you look out over miles of cookie cutter housing of cinder blocks with sub-optimal pipes and electricity you might get the impression that this is a backwater third world country no one really want’s to deal with, but that’s the key; turning it into a brand of it’s own. Come to Jedoria, where you’re money’s worth a lot more here!”
Jedorian government officials reacted positively to the news and suggestions, admitting they were running out of ideas. “I got to admit, we were bang out of ideas before [Gudelis] showed up.” Archon Jaan Kask admitted “Our back up plans were basically to sell all our oil reserves or burn down the country for the insurance money. But we never thought of turning our depressed miserable state into something we could actually market.”
To coincide with this new rebranding, the Jedorian government announced it would be setting up roughly 20 Tumblr blogs and 5 Pinterest accounts all featuring run down housing, dilapidated unfractured, depressed people, and cryptic and solemn poems with the tag line “Jedorian Aesthetic”.
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