((*Please*, all Secular College members feel free to join in. I just wanted to set the stage, but the conference is on!))
Sanctum Sepulchrum, Jerusalem
At long last the Secular College of the Holy Catholic Church, reunited, sublime, perfect, was called to order in the Sanctum Sepulchrum—the Church of the Holy Sepulcher.
In the radiant shadow of the one True Cross a circular table had been placed, hearkening somewhat back to Arthurian Legend…after all King Arthur, as well was known, had been Catholic. At the table now sat the Legate-Deacons of the Secular College: His Catholic Majesty King Jordanus VIII of Acadzia, Defender of the Faith, His Excellency President of Great Rhodesia Darian Rhodes, Eldest Son of the Church, the Right Honorable Prime Minister of the Philippines Alfredo Montesclaros, His Honor the President of Acadienne Sullivan K. Murphy, and His Honor the Vice President of Wesleyopia Timothy Fields. To be sure one chair was larger than the rest, having on its headboard the circular golden laurels of Caesar, this was the chair whereon the Holy Roman Emperor Tiberius Constantine sat, for indeed he was Legate-Bishop of the Secular College.
Once the College had been seated His Imperial Majesty Tiberius Constantine would lead the assembly in prayer, after which the gentlemen Catholics would turn their attention toward a simple lectern facing the round table. Approaching the lectern now was His Holiness Pope Leo XIV, Vicar of Christ, Sovereign Bishop of Rome, Servant of the Servants of God. In homage to the fact his was a spiritual primacy and he was come among political potentates the Holy Father wore only his red papal shoes, white simar with fringed fascia, pectoral cross, and white zucchetto. The pope came forward in delta formation, to his right was His Eminence Cardinal Rhodes, Prelate-Secretary of State for the Holy Domains, to his left was His Eminence Cardinal Max von Merin, acting Prefect of the Roman Curia. His Holiness’s assistants took small seats on either side of the cedar wood lectern.
The Holy Father would only be giving the College’s keynote address, after that he would retire once again to the Krak des Chevaliers for rest and recovery of his vital powers. But for now Pope Leo looked very healthy and somewhat tan, having gained at least partial respite from the great travails of these past weeks, and the pope smiled benevolently on the gathered College. He made the sign of the cross over the gathered Legates:
“In nomine Patri, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti,” blessed Pope Leo.
“Amen,” responded the Secular College.
His Holiness put on his reading glasses, and shuffled some papers on the lectern before him.
“Beloved Brethren, Beloved Emperor of the Romans made holy, before you begin your holy duties let us call to mind the greatness of the occasion, and the glory which has occurred before us. The Holy Catholic Church, outside of which salvation is not wholly possible, has once again been reunited into its flawless and immaculate original form. For this we give thanks to God, for he is good.
“Gloria in Excelsis Deo,” offered the Holy Father.
“Amen,” responded the College’s Legates.
Pope Leo cleared his throat and began, reading in his native Italian from the notes before him. Translators, of course, electronically relayed the pope’s comments in each various Legate’s native tongue.
“Beloved brethren, you are gathered here today to facilitate the Plan of Creation, and provide for the succor of the Holy Church, by means of political action in your own disparate but equal lands. Truly, this College has been formed in the very nick of time, for there are many grave issues which confront the faithful in these challenging times. Before I propose an agenda of especially grave issues for your consideration, I invite you all to consider in a more general manner the moral imperatives of our faith.
“Held in greatest esteem is our respect for the sanctity of life, and indeed this is a comprehensive issue. Recognizing that humanity is created by Almighty God, therefore that humanity is sacred and that each man and woman has a particular role to play in the Lord’s plan, we as Catholics necessarily must firmly reject the wickedness and godlessness of abortion. Beloved brethren, we must seeks ways to legally enforce an end to this diabolical practice, while always seeking ways to limit both contraception and the spread of venereal diseases.” The Holy Father turned the notes a page, and went on. “Yet included also in our reverence for the sanctity of life is our staunch opposition to the death penalty, which is both barbaric and not given unto the powers of man to engage in. Just as abortion is an evil for stopping life in its conception, so too is the death penalty an evil for stopping life in its fullness. Although there must be stringent punishments for crime, both physical and spiritual, they must by necessity be stopped short of this ultimate and irrevocable punishment.
“The last element of the sanctity of life is our respect and recognition of the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony. It is now and has always been an institution and sacrament undertaken between a man and a woman; moreover it has been defined as such in Holy Scripture. Under no circumstances whatsoever must the Church Political be tolerant of homosexual marriage, for it is a grave abomination unto the Lord. Now, whether or not individual states cater to the homosexual lobbies therein is their own business, and it is not the Church’s place to judge individual moralities. Nonetheless the Secular College ought to take firm positions against homosexuality in general—and any other sexually abnormal behaviors—both in forbidding marriage to deviants and by denying them the right to artificially create unnatural families, which too is an abomination unto the Lord.” His Holiness turned his notes another page.
“We must also as faithful Catholics seek always to assuage the real hurts and wants of the poor. For the poor in spirit and the materially poor, perhaps more than any universal group, are a visible sign of the work God ordained the Church to engage in. It is the sacred responsibility of this College to formulate as one methods to relieve penury amongst the faithful and feed hungry believers from one end of Christendom to the next. Some of you, dear brethren, represent countries with relatively high material means of living, some of you represent nations still in development…but not less devout for that…and it is incumbent for the wealthy among you to assist the less wealthy within reason. Moreover, by acting as the Body of Christ, as one, in accomplishing His work, differing lands politically but nevertheless all Catholic may draw together as one, as it has been written we ought to do. Blessed are the poor, our Savior hath said, for they shall inherit the earth.”
“However, beloved brethren, no ministry or evangelization is possible without stable governments to protect these efforts. With that in mind I ask the Sacred College to develop a plan to ensure and cater to political stability amongst its legateship, and to guide one another always onto paths of greater and greater justice. If one part of the Church, if one Catholic country, should experience disasters man-made or otherwise it ought to be the responsibility of the other parts to step in and provide them aid, so that the Universal Church might experience the blessings of Christ’s Unity and Peace.”
Pope Leo XIV turned another page, and took a brief sip of water.
“Having spoken briefly about our general vocations and duties I will speak about what particular issues it seems to me this Secular College should debate in its opening congress.
“Firstly the faithful are confronted by traumatic and bloody events in the Balkans, mainly between the Duchy of Tsalland and Igovian Beth Gellert. The events there, which grow more frightening day by day, should neither be ignored by the Church nor meddled in. Our primary concern should be for the safety and well being of our devout brother the Byzantine Empire, and we should spare little sympathy for either side in this debacle. For, beloved brethren, the Tsagians have instigated this situation by irreverently throwing Bibles over the border, just as the raucous Celts have continued it by their militant posturing. Other than caring for the Byzantine Empire, and providing to it pledges of support, there is little that should be done in this matter.
“Secondly we must address rumors coming from the Trade Federation, and their limited number of clerical supporters in other areas of the American continent, that a number of Floridian bishops are planning to undertake Schism. I give you my solemn vow, beloved brethren, that the Church Sacred shall take all necessary measures to hear their grievances and provide them all due recompense for their perceived wrongs. Yet, that said, I encourage each of you, brother legates, to not shirk from your duty if this should happen in your own land. It is your responsibility as enforcers of the Church Political to quickly and efficiently waylay any rumors of Schism in your own lands, so as to preserve the seamless Coat of Christ. If any part of the vine becomes diseased, it must be tended; if any threaten the Universal benevolence of the Church, they must be arrested in their progress.
“Thirdly, and drawing on my earlier thoughts of governmental stability, we ought to discuss the upcoming Filipino elections. Our beloved brother, Prime Minister Montesclaros, has provided the Philippines with a stable unity government for many years now, and this stability has greatly enhanced the peace and prosperity of the faithful in the Philippines. Therefore it is the duty of the Secular College to speak publicly its support for Mr. Montesclaros’ government and advocate its reelection, and in all ways provide—by trade and political alliances—for the ongoing and just work his government fulfills in our faithful Asian realm.”
The Holy Father turned to the last page, and smiled widely.
“Lastly, beloved brethren, we have a happy topic to address: the glorious and ongoing evangelization of Great Rhodesia. We ought to publicly acclaim the good work of Cardinal Rhodes, and his nephew, the Eldest Son of the Church, Darian Rhodes as they bring Christ to the abandoned and food to the hungry. Great Rhodesia’s devout embrace of the Holy Church, and her sweeping actions in support of the Lord’s work, and her blessed adherence to the Church’s dogma, must be imitated by all Catholic lands. Indeed, in their actions the Rhodes family have done nothing less than lay a blueprint for the means whereby Christian salvation may be achieved.”
Pope Leo XIV took of his reading glasses and moved his arms out towards the Secular College: “May the Lord be with you in your important deliberations.” Then the Holy Father made the sign of the cross, “In nomine Patri, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti.”
And then the pope and his assistant cardinals left the Secular College to its negotiations.
