by Comrade Commisar » Mon May 07, 2012 2:42 pm

by Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia » Mon May 07, 2012 3:05 pm
Currently warring.
Military, including paramilitaries: uncounted; numerous warring factions (currently state of war)
Link to Tracker I-II-III-DERP!
CompassPower comes only from the barrel of a gun - Mao Zedong
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily. - Napoleon BonaparteDEFCON:
[0] Nuclear Armaggedon Inevitable, as well as Defend Reichland from Invasion!Azrael wrote:Except that their entire appearance is a ruse!

by TurtleShroom » Mon May 07, 2012 3:35 pm
Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia wrote:[Out-of-Character Note: Consider this a tag for an upcoming post as I am at the moment incapable of immediately posting.]
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!

by YellowApple » Mon May 07, 2012 5:21 pm

by TurtleShroom » Wed May 09, 2012 2:23 pm
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!
by Comrade Commisar » Sat May 12, 2012 7:36 pm

by TurtleShroom » Wed May 16, 2012 11:26 am
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Yue Imperial Decree is that no corruption is to enter our pure lands, petty assistant. You are a newcomer from the South Lands, yourself, you have no authority here." The customs official barked, "You can barely string the Yue Language together, nevermind enforcing policy."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"I don't have to be a South Lander to know that without this equipment, this man's chance for death rises greatly." Li argued back, "You might as well spear this man now, then rather let him die choking and to the cold!"
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Rather tall, old, and frail for a diplomat." Quietly spoke the close-following Jon Smith and Commander Fei, "Looks like Turtleshroom sent him over to the North Lands as a death sentence."
Comrade Commisar wrote:As the small group were allowed entry into the Shrine of Crescent Bay, they were surprised at the two beings that greeted them. On the left mat was High Advisor Lang Okami, a female kitsune from the North Lands, who was happily drinking Yue Flaming Wine when the Representatives arrived. Upon the right map was High Advisor Yuan Li, a human girl who often served as the errand girl of the Imperial Shrine, and was staring uninterested at the Delegates.
Comrade Commisar wrote:Seating Samuel Moorye, Jon Smith, and Commander Fei upon the lower mats, Miss Li bowed and walked back outside to greet any other incoming guests.
Comrade Commisar wrote:However, you have the next best thing - Us. Well, assuming I'm not going to consume you petty humans, though..."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Ka-ka, I am in no rush." Lang snickered, "While we wait, I propose we ask the South Lander a few questions of himself, such as, what does he think he tastes like?" She laughed as she beared her fangs.
Comrade Commisar wrote:...what propositions you shall have for explusing 'certain foreigners', re-establishing a government, and more importantly, paying your great debts to our nation...."
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!
by Comrade Commisar » Wed May 16, 2012 6:08 pm
"Ain't those world famous for bein' sleazy deceivers and crafty, often corrupt, manipulatuhs?"
Ah'm hee-yuh ta work out the odd shatterin' a the stratocratic orduh into all these new little countries. Especially how yer technology-free empire existed under the auspices of a nuclear-armed, militaristic powerhouse of development and technological advances. Your Commisariat couldn't-a been untouched by them Black Guards and military poe-lease. They was everywhere. Regent Young visited the Commisarian Capital before the collapse of the national government, and it was all powerful. How it changed in less than a yee-uh I'll nevuh know.
Heck, if the prelevance of catgirls leaks out and they are perceived as hostile ta mankind, ya'll can kiss yer assets goodbye and watch them white immigrant businessmen, Shi leftovuhs, and the rest'a Comrade Commissar leave ya'll in the dust.

by TurtleShroom » Thu May 17, 2012 11:48 am
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Ahem," High Advisor Yuan Li coughed, "Remember that it was the Seventh High Priestess of Yoitsu that put you in your place for annihilating entire villages. The Twentieth will not hesitate doing the same."
"Ka-ka," Lang cackled, "Fine, I will refrain from using such language in front of our 'honored guests'. Also, 'Twas the Eighth High Priestess who silenced me, not the Seventh."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"The High Priestess of Nanchang quickly dispatched the poor Tsao souls, saving only a handful of men to tell of what happened to their commanders. The Tsao has not attacked the North Lands, since."
"Well, considering they attacked the North Lands once during the Eighteenth High Priestess, and many years prior to that incident, and the one before that, I would not be surprised if they attempted another assault upon the North Lands..."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Hmph, but that is not what you wish to know, South Lander." Spoke High Advisor Lang softly, "The Black Guard works not under the Tsao, but rather under the Imperial Shrine.
Comrade Commisar wrote:The Imperial Shrine is believed to be the boundry of this world and the next.
Comrade Commisar wrote:When the Tsao attempted to invade the North Lands during the Eighteenth High Priestess, a certain kitsune before you was unbounded and allowed to revert back to a more destructive nature. 'Twas fun, I recall, I certainly would not hesitate to massacre their divisions once more..."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"You were not the reason the government disbanded, Lang," Spoke the other High Advisor, who was very irritated, "They were disbanded because of the loss of three wars, the Khek uprisings, and the Asahina uprisings. Kai-Shek fell within a week, and with it, the Tsao Government." She stated as the two immediately reverted back to their cold stares.
Comrade Commisar wrote:"KA-KA," Lang laughed loudly, "Sounds lovely, South Lander, but what do your fellow representatives think of such a thought? Challenging the Yue People, who have never fallen towards foreign invasion nor corruption? Are they as sure as you are?"[/quote[
That was when Samuel reached for his walker and used all his strength to lift himself up to it. With the re-enforcing bars lifted off the floor and unconnected, it sort of looked like the titular character of Invader Zim using mechanical legs to raise himself up. He trembled severely on his walker, barely able to point at the Priestess. Yuan looked frightful.
"How DARE ya drape the holy title of incorruptible over yaself! Ya'll may be pure as a people, as a nation, but you, blackhearted catgirl, YOU, are an evil, twisted soul resting in a temple of apparent transparent holiness. If I was a Priest of your faith, I'd have you DEFROCKED." he said, very boldly. "Defrocked! YA HEAR ME? That means to strip a priest of their garments, to render them laity, ya followin'? Ya'll are unfit ta bare the title of Priestess! To address ya as 'Yer Grace' would be an insult to the Yues. I am SICKENED."
That was when Samuel crashed to the floor, losing his balance. Wracked in pain, several employees ran over and lifted his body back down onto the mat, re-fastening his supports and ensuring he wasn't injured.
A tense moment passed, and Samuel's eyes blinked open from behind his thick glasses.
"Still sickened." he scoffed.Comrade Commisar wrote:Yuan Li quickly switched subjects before the Summit could turn into heated debate, something which Yuan despised.
Yuan wisely outstretched her arm to stop the fuming kitsune as she considered lunging at the TurtleShroomer. As she did, she spoke.Comrade Commisar wrote:"The Imperial Shrine has noted your situation, Turtleshroomian Representative. We shall take you to your honor and postpone the collection of your debts, so long as we see that you are making efforts towards paying it off.
Samuel had calmed down and resumed his more diplomatic demeanor. He smiled, and nodded.
"We will, without question, honor our commitments to all of ya'll. As a debtor, TurtleShroom has nevuh failed ta' repay. EVUH. Ya'll are first priority when our Reparations Fund receives more appropriated funds. I swear this on my honor as a representative of TurtleShroom."Comrade Commisar wrote:Although I shall say that if any new political group should avoid paying off our debts, there shall be negative consequences."
Samuel laughed warmly.
"Nevuh fear 'bout that! Our Constitution saw that risk comin'. In fact, one of the crea-chuhs comin' ta this Delegation next is the creature in chah-ge of National Debt. He's our Debt Ombudsman, and the only creature in TurtleShroom that has anythin' ta do with managin' national debt, 'cause we... never had a deficit until today."Comrade Commisar wrote:"Considering that Turtleshroom owes the Imperial Shrine roughly 11.4 Million Yue Gold Coins, I would say that the Turtleshroomian Governance should have fallen under the Imperial Shrine..."
Samuel visibly rolled his eyes and glared at the kitsune, whom he had come to despise.
"Ya'll dont' own us. Ya have the stake in our first instance of Sovereign Debt in over two hundred yee-uhs, catgirl. Our Constitution is engineered to completely and totally force us to pay any debt. No gov'ment could dissolve a debt. It cain't be questioned. Literally, it's right in the Constitution."Comrade Commisar wrote:"Just tell those involved that this situation had better turn out favorably towards all sides."
Samuel nodded respectfully to to the other Advisor. He liked her.
"The Debt Ombudsman will arrive soon. He will explain exactly why you shouldn't fear ANY risk of TurtleShroom dishonerin' the Kid Grid debt."Comrade Commisar wrote:"Now Turtleshroomer, we have finished talking of the South Lands." She grinned, her fangs clearly showing, "Please, mention your concern of the North Lands, now. 'Tis no better place to discuss the business of the North Lands than next to a being which has lived for many countless revolutions of the moon. So, speak now, South Lander, or shall you hold your tongue?" Lang said mockingly in her own sense as she shifted the subject of the Summit.
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!

by Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia » Thu May 17, 2012 7:06 pm

Currently warring.
Military, including paramilitaries: uncounted; numerous warring factions (currently state of war)
Link to Tracker I-II-III-DERP!
CompassPower comes only from the barrel of a gun - Mao Zedong
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily. - Napoleon BonaparteDEFCON:
[0] Nuclear Armaggedon Inevitable, as well as Defend Reichland from Invasion!Azrael wrote:Except that their entire appearance is a ruse!

by TurtleShroom » Thu May 17, 2012 9:27 pm
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!
by Comrade Commisar » Thu May 17, 2012 10:25 pm
I had top secret clearence in mah homeland. I've been briefed of everythin' Asian we deal with. I was told the Black n' Red Guards were both agents of the national government, and that the Black Guards were run by the good Nookular Minister that was so close ta Regent Young, to the point that, hallelujah, they--
I mean, ya'll hate technology like them satellites, so ya'll shouldn't be collectin' its debt... -and yet... ya'll are officially listed in all TurtleShroomian records as our creditor. It don't make sense.
So, ya'll practice black magic? Or, do ya'll mean that ya'll have the power ta access and interact with the spiritual grey? ......or both? I bet both. I knew it was a good idea to dispatch a theoligian and a Storehouse parochial representative. Them's comin' later.
You are a dark, corrupt soul! I'm amazed that you drape the mantle of purity upon yer blood-stained shoulduhs--
How DARE ya drape the holy title of incorruptible over yaself! Ya'll may be pure as a people, as a nation, but you, blackhearted catgirl, YOU, are an evil, twisted soul resting in a temple of apparent transparent holiness. If I was a Priest of your faith, I'd have you DEFROCKED. Defrocked! YA HEAR ME? That means to strip a priest of their garments, to render them laity, ya followin'? Ya'll are unfit ta bare the title of Priestess! To address ya as 'Yer Grace' would be an insult to the Yues. I am SICKENED.
by Comrade Commisar » Fri May 18, 2012 12:34 am

by Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia » Fri May 18, 2012 6:06 am
TurtleShroom wrote:{OOC: That, GEIJD, was an epic novella right there. The unexpected arrival of the Emperor will make a lot of fun for Samuel and the oncoming TurtleShroomers. As for PCE Tokugawa being able to melt the heart of any woman… that's a RP of itself. Have you ever considered courting a TurtleShroomian female into the Emperor's polygamy network to further unify the nations? I am engaging in graduation rehearsal tomorrow, and am HRADUATING ON SATURDAY! I am THRILLED BEYOND MEASURE.}

Arriving at the Imperial Shrine of Crescent Bay, the many Priestesses bowed deeply, some still smiling from the Emperor's redicious arrival into the North Lands. Yelling at the heavy timber door, a Priestess informed the occupants at the arrival of the Japanese Representatives in the Yue Language. Eventually, the door slid open as a certain tengu assistant rushed out and bowed before the Emperor while shivering.
"W-welcome to the Imperial S-shrine of Crescent B-bay." The young one said as she looked up at the rather large group, "Um, would a-all of you give your a-arms to the Priestesses before entering the S-shrine? C-come in orderly t-too, please." The young tengu stuttered, although whether in fear or due to the frozen winds was unsure.
After placing away their arms, the Japanese Delegation was lead towards the main room, while the great door of the shrine slid closed again. Being seating around the first occupants by the multiple assistants and priestesses of the Shrine, the Emperor was placed with his comrades up front, next to the Turtleshroomian, Tsao and Asahina delegations. High Advisor Lang Okami and High Advisor Yuan Li stared at the Japanese Delegation as they were seated, whispering towards each other in the Yue tongue, Lang housing quite the grin upon her face. Eventually, the Summit resumed accordingly.
"Well, it appears that those present include every member except the Wind Equines, although have a slight suspicious that they may present themselves soon enough." Spoke High Advisor Yuan, "Therefore, we shall continue with our current discussions."
"Ka-ka." Snickered Lang, "Now then, what shall we discuss? Shall we discuss the taste of South Lander flesh over North Lander? Shall we discuss of the North Lands and its territories? Shall we discuss of the Far Easterners greater militarisitc efforts and their struggle for survival? Or shall we discuss the Far Eastern Emperor and his rather reckless, yet comical arrival within the Crescent Bay? Hmm?" The 'Great Wolf of the North Lands' asked as she continued grooming herself.
Currently warring.
Military, including paramilitaries: uncounted; numerous warring factions (currently state of war)
Link to Tracker I-II-III-DERP!
CompassPower comes only from the barrel of a gun - Mao Zedong
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily. - Napoleon BonaparteDEFCON:
[0] Nuclear Armaggedon Inevitable, as well as Defend Reichland from Invasion!Azrael wrote:Except that their entire appearance is a ruse!

by TurtleShroom » Fri May 18, 2012 9:41 am
Comrade Commisar wrote:"The Black Guard was established under the Ministry of Information, if I do recall correctly."
She stated, "The Ministry of Information was headed by High Priestess Mei-Li Yue for a certain period... I'd say, until the Greater Conflict of the South Lands. The Red Guard, however, is entirely under control of the Tsao. Is that what you were asking for, Mister Moorye?"
Comrade Commisar wrote:"One of the Shi representatives visited to the Imperial Shrine, travelling a great distance to Yoitsu. He asked of us to save the Shi Province from collapse by economically supporting it after the destruction of their satellite system, something which costed much currency of the Shi People." She stated, "In turn, we were left with the Shi debt, which was transferred to you for your destruction of the Shi satellites. 'Tis all."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Xin Xingshi, I believe his name was. Quite the nervous young man. Not quite the ally you knew, was it, South Lander?" The High Advisor mocked as Yuan looked at her threateningly.
Comrade Commisar wrote:"We refer to it as the 'Northern Arts', which manipulate weather and the elements. Not only that, but we are a diplomatic area of sorts that keeps the peace between humans and creatures such as High Advisor Lang."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"As for this 'Black Magic', it certainly exists in the North Lands as mentioned in the archives, although use of it is forbidden by the Imperial Shrine. Worry not, such things are often trivial in the North Lands and are as no more important than current events."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Heh," Lang grinned, "It was not like I slaughtered them of my own free will, I was commanded to annihilate the Tsao by the Eighteenth High Priestess, Kaihui Yue, in defense of the North Lands. Come now, South Lander, if I am of a 'dark, corrupt soul', than what does that make your people? I was merely protecting the North Lands." She smiled mockingly at the Turtleshroomer.
[/quote]Comrade Commisar wrote:Finally taking action, High Advisor Lang stood up and made her way towards the Turtleshroomer, placing herself right against his ear.
"Listen well, South Lander,"
[...]
"When a being travels into my homeland, insulting me, I can not merely stand by idly and accept it. Know that you humans are quite a disposable species, especially people from your area of the world, South Lander. Unlike another group of travelling South Landers, you shall not have a hook upon your hand to save you from my jaws." She finalized as she leaned back, smiling."
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!

by TurtleShroom » Fri May 18, 2012 9:48 am
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!

by TurtleShroom » Fri May 18, 2012 8:54 pm
Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia wrote:...brandished the Iron Cross to present to the delegations his most glorious prize. "I have fought hard for this one. This was also a response to me giving their Fuhrer an Order of the Rising Sun. In addition,"
Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia wrote:...nominated as the "Most Incorruptible Leader of All Time"...
[...]
"This is what we are. Benevolent leaders. We love & serve our people."
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!

by TurtleShroom » Fri May 18, 2012 8:55 pm
Comrade Commisar wrote:"W-welcome to the I-Imperial S-shrine of Cresent B-Bay." She shivered, although within one of the briefing moments of the blizzard, she saw the Turtleshroomian escort, and more importantly, the Debt Ombudsman.
Comrade Commisar wrote:A rather short fellow, he was at an eye-to-eye level with the young assistant, who quickly looked around for any other important-looking personnel, "A-are you the Debt Om-Om... Turtleshroomian Representative?" The assistant asked, this young man not quite exactly fulfilling her envisionment of the Debt Ombudsman.
Hello.
If you are reading this, you have just met the Debt Ombudsman of TurtleShroom. He is a rather special case, so please, take the time to read this letter so that you can interact with him. His name is Leroy. He lives and breathes our nation's economy. He thinks that God Himself has entrusted him with the keys to our markets, to our economy, to everything monetary in TurtleShroom.
Leroy was found on the steps of the Stock Exchange of Jonesboro on the second day of January, in the year of our Lord One Thousand Nine Hundred Ninety Nine. At this time, the orphanages of the Church were jam packed, so the Ministry of the Storehouse- our Treasury –took him in, for he was too young and vulnerable to be transported in the wet season.
Having no other purpose, the government raised this human offspring to know all of TurtleShroom’s economy. Everything that has ever happened in TurtleShroom’s economy, little Leroy knows it. Of laws and Constitution, money has no uncertainty in his brain. He knows the stocks of the past, the present, and can predict the future stocks so accurately that we don’t let him share it, because it’s insider trading.
The power of Leroy’s mind, in economics, surpasses his entire Ministry, which he sweetly calls “Ma Storehouse”.
This is where you really need to listen. This is paramount.
Leroy and the economy of TurtleShroom are one. They know each other like a mother sentient turtle knows her hatchling, or a human mother knows her infant.
With such brilliance and potential power, came the fear that he could become opinionated or biased. He might be corrupted, or share the keys to the TurtleShroomian economy to an enemy, or worse.
We have isolated him from the entire world. He has the knowledge of fifty central bankers, but the purity, innocence, and naivety of a child. He is trusting and open. Sixteen times, have people tried to take this little scholar and use him for economic dominance.
He does not leave our sight, except today. Today, Leroy asked to go and share with you the integrity of TurtleShroom’s economy. His heart ached when you said you didn’t trust our payments, and against our better judgment, we gave in and sent one of our purist souls to you and your noble Shrine.
Leroy is a gentle and shy soul. He does not like getting yelled at and does not normally speak. He has the innocence of a little child and a heart of gold. He will trust anything, just as the smallest of young ones would. You mustn’t corrupt him. TurtleShroomian law provides for his protection: to corrupt his heart or exploit his mind, to harm his body or instill into him an ideology that would compromise his golden neutrality and sheer fact-reporting is punishable by death.
In Leroy’s mind are the keys to our economy. No one knows it better than he does. No one will ever know it better than he will. He is right every time he thinks.
His predications are so accurate, as we said, that you could own our economy simply by asking him what to buy, sell, trade, and how.
You are one of our closest allies and have shown the greatest of honor and compassion to our previous delegations.
We trust you with dear Leroy, and Leroy, bless his soul, trusts you as if you were his parent. Do not betray us.
Signed,
-Yertle Peniipincher, Minister of the Storehouse of the Holy Republic of TurtleShroom
Comrade Commisar wrote:Welcome, Turtleshroomian Debt Ombudsman. I suppose you are here to explain to us why TurtleShroom has not gone back upon any foreign debt they have acquired?" Yuan stated, not particularly making fun of the 'nerdy' look of the Turtleshroomian man, being quite the bookworm herself.
"Please, persuade me upon Turtleshroom's economic practices."
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!
by Comrade Commisar » Fri May 18, 2012 11:40 pm

by Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia » Sat May 19, 2012 3:23 am
Currently warring.
Military, including paramilitaries: uncounted; numerous warring factions (currently state of war)
Link to Tracker I-II-III-DERP!
CompassPower comes only from the barrel of a gun - Mao Zedong
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily. - Napoleon BonaparteDEFCON:
[0] Nuclear Armaggedon Inevitable, as well as Defend Reichland from Invasion!Azrael wrote:Except that their entire appearance is a ruse!

by TurtleShroom » Sat May 19, 2012 9:43 am
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Stop being dramatic, Lang." Yuan Li said, still focus upon Leroy, "It's not like you could read that document; you're illiterate."
"Huh?!" The Great Wolf shouted as she turned away in embarassment, muttering, "It's you humans who use those idiotic runic characters."
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Anyway, Debt Ombudsman Daniels, 'tis obvious that the North Lands does not utilize your form of economics, nor the forms of the Far Easterners present here. Therefore, I must say that collectively gathering 11.4 Million Yue Gold Coins during the absense of government and during a conflict seems like a great task. Of course, within my many readings, I have heard tales of nations utilizing 'Asahinan' economics able to create massive amounts of wealth almost instantaniously. I am curious, how long shall it take for the South Landers to amass enough currency to satisfy us and remove your chains of debt, hm?"
Comrade Commisar wrote:"Secondly, I wish to know how much of South Land currency equals North Land currency. 'Tis also obvious that we use different forms of currency, ours being represented by material and yours being represented by belief in the currency."
Comrade Commisar wrote:I wish to know how much South Land currency will it take to amass an amount equal to 11.4 Million Yue Gold Coins."
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!

by TurtleShroom » Sat May 19, 2012 10:01 am
Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia wrote:To Samuel, the over-graceful honoured Emperor greeted him by shaking his hand, then went to greet the Debt Ombudsman too, in addition to greeting the other TurtleShroomian delegates. "Konnichiwa, may Buddha's compassion be with you. I am the Comrade People's Emperor, the Greatest Socialist Revolutionary of all time as well as I am immortal not to mention invincible. I also had such a long life. Now tell me, how has your voyage here been? As unexpected or killing as how General Chen Bingde & War Marshal Phirun Vanna Soun found it? Or as wonderful a landing here as I have accomplished?" the Emperor burst into a series of insane chuckles.[/align]
THE FUTURE
IS IN THE
PAST!!
by Comrade Commisar » Sun May 20, 2012 8:48 pm
In fact, because of our low tax rate and constant economic surpluses, your debt will probably be paid in full in about two to three months. The best part about this problem becoming National Debt is that it doesn't have to be appropriated. Payment to the Debt is automatic and first priority!
Until I know the weight of gold in your coin, I can not complete my calculations. Thank you


by Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia » Mon May 21, 2012 12:00 am
Currently warring.
Military, including paramilitaries: uncounted; numerous warring factions (currently state of war)
Link to Tracker I-II-III-DERP!
CompassPower comes only from the barrel of a gun - Mao Zedong
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily. - Napoleon BonaparteDEFCON:
[0] Nuclear Armaggedon Inevitable, as well as Defend Reichland from Invasion!Azrael wrote:Except that their entire appearance is a ruse!

by Urmanian » Mon May 21, 2012 5:30 am
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