The Western Wire [Regional News]

[Snefaldia]

• MPs condemn Aerionian reshuffle; the Grand Empire is "unrecognizable to Snefaldia" says PPS Chair
  
  SARGEDAIN - In the wake of announcements from Imperial City on the elimination of Aerionian provinces and their replacement with hereditary duchies and baronies many members of Parliament have taken to the floor to condemn what Progressive Party Chairman Astar Sardavar has called "Aerion's slide into monarchism, fascism, and authoritarianism."
  
  "Crown Prince Damoen Wasterin was a friend to Snefaldia, a friend of the Snefaldia people, and a hope for change in Snefaldia." Mr. Sardavar said in a charged speech before the Assembly of Deputies. "His sister, the so-called Padshah Empress, has all the megalomania of a tyrant and none of the moderation- the Grand Empire of Aerion is unrecognizable to Snefaldia compared to the Crown Prince's government. While the rest of the civilized states of the Western Atlantic are introducing democratic reforms- even the Sabaris- Aerion is backsliding into irrelevancy and fascism."
  
  PPS party members were joined by Communist, Socialist, and some LDP deputies in condemning the Grand Empire in a series of speeches, none of which were attached to any resolution or main motion. In contrast, members of the Republican and Nationalist parties were more guarded in their comments on the latest round of what analysts call the "radical reorganization of the Aerionian state." HPM chief Jan Smyczek avoided the heated language of Mr. Sardavar, saying "the situation in Aerion is still developing and we're watching closely, but the statements of the Right Honorable Deputy Sardavar are much too harsh for a traditional and cultural friend of Snefaldia."
  
  The Dirh administration has so far not commented on the developments, although a statement is expected in a few days, an anonymous source confirmed, from Foreign Minister Sondrasai. The Foreign Minister is still smarting from a PR row during the Epheron crisis when he criticised the Excalbian government's actions in Zamimbia in unguarded terms. Official opinions from the Chancellery are expected to be much more muted than the typically inflammatory Assembly of Deputies.

[Knootoss]

---

The Atlantic Forum is not in Knootoss' national interest

By Jonkheer Barent de Kock

With Knootoss as the strongest power in the region, it no longer needs multilateral fora to advance its interests argues Jonkheer Barent de Kock, a Conservative candidate to be the next Prime Minister of Knootoss.

The 'Atlantic Forum', and 'Lyeithen MK2' are fuelled by the outdated left-wing conception of Knootoss as an aspiring middle power. With the demise of Iesus Christi as a force, the Dutch Democratic Republic is the strongest power in the region. It has the biggest, most developed and fastest-growing economy, the most powerful and most flexibile military and, unlike the other powers, it leads a federation of brother nations that sprawls across a multitude of other regions. Despite this, Femke Vologdov still believes that Knootoss is weak and that it must protect itself by trying to entangle other powers in multilateral institutions. She is wrong.

If I am elected Prime Minister, I will not dabble in the creation of yet more powerless talking shops. Instead, I will advance our interests and the interests of our region by using the bilateral diplomacy that has a proven record of success.

A bilateral approach will give my administration a flexibility and ease that is lacking the compromise-dependent multilateral systems favoured by Femke Vologdov. In addition, the existing disparities in power, resources, money, armament, and technology that exist between Knootoss and some other powers in the region are more easily exploitable by the stronger side in bilateral diplomacy, compared to the more consensus-driven multilateral form of diplomacy, where the one state-one vote rule applies.

A good example of this view can be found in the recent crisis in Epheron, which was resolved through careful bilateral diplomacy on the part of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Defence. Thanks to conservative support, the government was compelled to protect the communities in South-Western Epheron, and it did so by negotiating with the powers who had material interests in the region. Knootian power was deployed, responsibly and in concert with its allies, to solve the crisis.

Had an 'Atlantic Forum' or a 'Lyeithen MK2' treaty existed, far less time would have been spent on resolving the problem, and far more time would have been spent listening to the condemnations from countries who, when the chips are down, never had any intention of building towards a constructive solution.

Our friends in the region need not worry that a change in diplomatic strategy will affect the goals of Knootian foreign policy. Knootoss will continue to respect the interests of the other powers in the region, as it strives for human rights, liberty, prosperity and security for the entire region. It will continue to work with other countries to accomplish these goals in the most expedient way possible.

[Garys Campsite]

Gary, Owner of Gary's Campsite, to ban DEET based personal pest prevention

When asked this Wednesday about his decision at the New-Member-Meet-and-Greet-Brisket-Cook-off-and-Press-Conference Gary told reporters "Deets's runnin out the shower house and in my duck pond; killin my catfish."

In other news the camp band will no longer be playing at the camp store on Sunday's as it is "the lords day", but several citizen campers have noted that on this previous Sundays the band has a habit of visiting the local establishment 'The Cherry Bottom Club' and then proceeding to grill on their john boat while consuming whiskey. One long term camper noted "They's foolin round with them peep show girls every Sunday fer bout tree years now."

On the lighter side of life, camper citizens welcomed a new clutch of babies today when Tiasia Williams on her honeymoon at the canoe rental across camp with her husband, Blue, gave birth to twins inside of Chew's Thai Food Tailor. Luckily for the new mother, Chew happened to be a midwife. Blue was not available at the scene for comment.

This is Camptone news! Reporting live from the media / multi-purpose room at the camp store, reminding all of our readers that rent's due Tuesdays, and you best not be burning trash. Happy Trails!

[Pantocratoria]

Imperial Monitor
Knootoss scuttles own forum
Atlantic Forum terminated by Knootian double-take; Chancellor "unimpressed" with tone of proceedings
Discussions at an expanded joint Atlantic Council meeting in Andrium today took an unexpected turn when, after proposing the idea of a new Atlantic institution dubbed the "Atlantic Forum" by commentators, Knootoss effectively withdrew the matter from consideration and abandoned the meeting.

It was not the only event which bordered on the absurd in the meeting, with unconfirmed reports from anonymous sources within the Department of Foreign Affairs that Pantocratoria's Permanent Representative to the Atlantic Councils, Hon. Petros Hellenic, former Constantinople Party minister in the Drapeur Government, accused the Xirniumite representative, Mme Adolphine Angadrême, of drug abuse during the session.

Custodial staff at the Atlantic International Organization reported to the Monitor's Ambaran daily, La Colonie, that M Helenic was heard loudly blaspheming about the halls of the the Atlantic Council complex during the discussions.

Representatives of some of the eastern states are understood to support the creation of such a forum nearer them - in Brasland, for instance, and suggested that the Treaties of Lyeithen and Courtland should be retired.

The Imperial Chancellor, Sir Thierry del Moray, told journalists at a press conference in Adrienople this evening that he was "deeply disappointed at the on-going inability of the international community to find a more permanent forum for multilateral discussion than the Atlantic Councils" and that he was "unimpressed" with reports about the tone of proceedings.

In a brief press release just moments before going to press, the Minister for Foreign Affairs, Sir Cyrus Fastonville, confirmed that the Imperial Government had received and accepted the resignation of Hon. Petros Hellenic from the position of Pantocratoria's Permanent Representative to the Atlantic Council, effective immediately.

Monsignor Hugh de la Morée will serve as Pantocratoria's representative on a temporary basis until the Government is able to recommend a suitable replacement.

[Knootoss]

• Prime Minister Vologdov: "Be a Region of Yes"
  
  HARTSTAD - The Knootian government has responded with dismay to the Caldan and Xirniumite rejection of widely supported plans for a Western Atlantic Forum, blaming "Xirniumite scheming" and "Caldan veto's" for the talks' failure. In an elaborate press statement, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Defence also took time to condemn a Xirniumite proposal to include highly controversial candidate members from the start, to the exclusion of the Dutch Democratic Republic, as a "ploy to divide the region". The press statement detailed Xirnium's many years of consistent anti-Knootian diplomacy and hinted at "diplomatic sanctions" against any nation that would join what it termed the "Xirnium Forum".
  
  In a public appeal that some observers have described as "bordering on emotional", Prime Minister Femke Vologdov appealed on the region's powers to "Be a Region of Yes", and support the final proposal as it lay on the table, promising that Knootoss would "respect the outcome of a democratic vote on the membership of all nations that request it", but that it is "time to end the strategy of bullying others into accepting a position by holding the negotiations hostage".

• Knootoss denounces Xirnium, imposes sanctions
  
  NÄRVÄRYN - In the wake of the failed talks on the Atlantic Forum, the Vologdov Administation has recalled its ambassador to Xirnium for an indefinite period of time, as well as imposing economic sanctions.
  
  The government announced that it would put the public insurance of Knootian investments into Xirnium on permanent review and that it would refuse to insure any future investments in "strategic sectors", with a promise to stop guaranteeing trade with Xirnium entirely if there was no "marked, short-term improvement" in the diplomatic situation.
  
  Markets responded violently to this announcement, with major indeces dropping up to 3%, with drops of up to 20% for companies that have heavy exposure to Xirniumite trade. Several major investments are expected to be deferred now, severely affecting the high fashion, antiques and steampunk romance novel industries.
  
  In addition to these public snubs, a high-level administration official leaked to KNN that Knootoss would certainly refuse to attend a conference to negotiate on an Atlantic Treaty if Xirnium was also expected to attend.
  
  Though the government denies any relation with the deteriorating relations with Xirnium, the Knootian Defence Force announced on the same day that it would stage a military exercise called "Crimson Dusk" before the end of the year, simulating regime change in "small, mountainous socialist republic" within 24 hours, through a combined arms operation.

[Excalbia]

The Citadel Daily Post Online
Breaking News: Fiasco in Andrium; Ambassador Recalled from Atlantic Council; Government Withdraws Oosterbeek Ahead of Senate Vote; "Last Ditch"Summit?

Citadel Excalbia - In the wake of Knootoss' withdrawal of its own draft Atlantic Charter and the collapse of the extraordinary session of the Atlantic Council in acrimony, the Ministry of State has announced that it has recalled its permanent representative to the council for "consultations". Following the failure of the government's most recent effort at multilateral diplomacy, it appeared that opposition to the Treaty of Oosterbeek was growing in the Imperial Senate, which led the Imperial Chancellor to announce minutes ago that the government is withdrawing the treaty for "further review". By avoiding a vote against the treaty, the government remains free to adhere to it pending ratification at a later time.

Rumors around the Ministry of State hold that the Emperor will shortly issue invitations to key countries to attend a summit that would consider the future of multilateral diplomacy in the region. Some speculate that, should this summit fail, the government will fall, leading to new elections this summer. When asked about reports of a last minute deal between Knootoss and the Caldan Union to save the current proposals for an Atlantic Forum, Ministry spokesmen had no comment. Off the record, however, a senior diplomat remarked that "they should have consulted before scuttling their own proposal and before everyone stormed off." This official added that "Andrium III is dead as it stood."



From citadeldailypost.co.ex

[Knootoss]

FOR	AGAINST
Conservative Party (45) Knootian Green Party (43) Social-Liberal Party (37) Catholic Peoples Party (25) Knootian Social Democratic Party (6) Popular Party (4) United Christians for Democracy (1)	Freedom Party (14) Socialist Party (11) Knootians For Progressive Change (3) Democratic Christian Alliance (3) Christian-Democratic Alliance (2) Knootian Elvish Party (2) Anticapitalist Party (2) Dutch Reformed Voting League (1) National Socialist Workers Party (1)
Total in favour: 161	Total opposed: 39

• Knootoss ratifies Treaty of Oosterbeek
  
  HARTSTAD - The Staten-Generaal, the Knootian Parliament, has gone ahead with a scheduled vote today and ratified the Treaty of Oosterbeek with a thumping 80,5% of the vote. (The vote tally is shown in the table on the side.)
  
  The vote was held after a debate that featured considerable confusion on the question of whether Excalbian ratification was required for the treaty to enter into force. Proponents argued that the treaty was concluded between the Knootian Federation, Pantocratoria and the Taraskovyan Empire, and that Excalbia remained welcome to ratify it later, having gained the consent of these three parties to do so. Opponents, on the other hand, questioned this interpretation and called in vain for a delay, so that the Excalbian Senate might consider its ratification bill further.
  
  The treaty establishes a defensive alliance, and requires that parties consult with the others before going to war, after which they shall observe at least a benevolent neutrality. Cooperation also extends to establishing the administrative bodies and military infrastructure necessary to collectively wage war.

[Pantocratoria]

Imperial Monitor
Treaty of Oosterbeek Ratified
His Majesty the Emperor ratified the Treaty of Oosterbeek today at the Imperial Court of Christ Pantocrator.

The trilateral agreement between Pantocratoria, Taraskovya and Knootoss addresses regional security and cooperation.

Although the treaty was to include Excalbia, the ratification was delayed by the Excalbian Government when it was understood that the Imperial Senate may vote against it.

Despite Excalbia not ratifying Oosterbeek, Pantocratoria remains allied to Excalbia, to its north, and the Caldan Union, to its west, by way of the Entente.

[Xirnium]

Times-Advertiser:

Xirnium’s Parliament imposed ‘full retaliatory sanctions’ on the Dutch Democratic Republic, severing economic and trade links. The punitive measures involved nationalisation of Knootian assets located in Xirnium.

Diplomatic ties have been completely cut. Xirnium will no longer have an embassy in Knootoss.

The Foreign Minister described the Knootian statement accompanying their own levying of sanctions ‘twisted and bizarre’. She pointed out that Knootoss walked out of the talks over differences between its government and the Caldan Union concerning the issue of membership of Laneria and Nova Nederlandia in a proposed regional forum.

‘Nevertheless, they seem to have had been quite effective at diverting attention from their shameful stunt’.

In response to ratification of the Treaty of Oosterbeek, which the Foreign Minister called ‘provocative at this time’, diplomatic ties with Pantocratoria have been downgraded to the more junior charge d’affaires level.

[Excalbia]

The Citadel Daily Post

What Now?

On the Island
by Bill Ozols

The foreign affairs community is in shock this morning following the stunning events of the last twenty-four hours. The day began with word that Ambassador Simon Gundersen, the Holy Empire’s permanent representative to the Atlantic Council in Andrium, had been recalled following Knootoss’ acrimonious withdrawal of its own proposal for a region-wide Atlantic Forum. Then came word that a backbench revolt had led Chancellor Wentworth to temporarily withdraw the Treaty of Oosterbeek – a defensive alliance with Knootoss, Pantocratoria and Tarasovka – from the Imperial Senate’s consideration. After a rumored exchange of letters with Knootoss, which no one will publicly confirm, the temporary withdrawal appears to have become indefinite.

After the surprising events of yesterday morning, a bit of whiplash set in last night, as the Ministry of State instructed its leaderless mission to Andrium to rejoin the reopened discussions on the Forum. Rumors also leaked out that the Holy Empire would offer bilateral treaties to Xirnium and Knootoss in place of the long-awaited and long-rumored successor to the treaties of Courtland and Lyeithen.

This morning, the pundits and diplomatic set awoke to the greatest shock of all, as it was announced that Lady Sarah Harrington has resigned as Minister of State. Long believed to be one of the strongest supporters of multilateral diplomacy in the government, her resignation seems to presage a move away from multilateral engagement. Lady Sarah’s replacement, it was announced, will be Defence Minister and former Chancellor Lady Christina Freedman. With a reputation as a tough-minded hawk and practitioner of real politick, Lady Christina will undoubtedly bring a change in tone to the Holy Empire’s diplomacy. Baron Alvis Celms, a long-standing Senate leader, will take over the Defence portfolio.

All of this leaves those of following diplomatic developments to wonder what will happen next.

[Abt]

Abtian investor confidence in Xirnium has collapsed

ATLANTIC FORUM LEADS TO ATLANTIC COLLAPSE

• XIRNIUM NATIONALISES KNOOTIAN ASSETS
• PANIC GRIPS ABTIAN INVESTORS
• BELGOROD CLUELESS ON WHAT TO DO NEXT
  

BELGOROD, ABT REPUBLIC – In the aftermath of the Xirniumite nationalisation of Knootian assets, the Abt Republic has issued a statement condemning what it calls “unacceptable policies worthy not of civilised states, but of tinpot bolshevik dictatorships”. However, beyond this, Belgorod appears clueless on what to do as Abtian private actors take matters into their own hands to flee the Xirniumite market.

The crisis began during the talks to establish an Atlantic Forum, sabotaged in no small part by the the Xirniumite ambassador who, some sources speculate, was “high on substances”. The events spilled over into a move by the Knootian government to no longer insure investments into Xirnium, pretty much classifying the country as a “high risk investment”. On the long term, many analysts agree, this would have caused a significant fall in Knootian investment flowing into Xirnium.

However, nobody expected on the short term such a radical reaction from Xirnium. Xirnium's Foreign Minister spoke that the Republic “takes no half-measures” and of Xirnium's desire “to cause the most harm to the economy of the Dutch Democratic Republic”. The move by Xirnium was also officially expained by the desire “to send a clear message to third nations as well as to Knootoss that the Bright Republic [...] forgives no injury”. Many agree that a government policy aimed at depriving private investors of all their assets based on the actions of political actors those same private investors barely have any influence on is not amenable to creating a favourable investment climate.

Belgorod has worked hard to create a favourable investment atmosphere and to make sure everybody knew that Abt was “an excellent place to invest and do business” by cutting down on red tape and administrative barriers to economic activities. For this reason, experts on international politics agree that Belgorod cannot do much in the current situation until Xirnium takes direct action against Abtian interests, as the Republic cannot be seen to take measures that might go against its largely laissez-faire policies.

However, private investors are not prepared to suffer economic risks due to the current political atmosphere. Abtian investors are reportedly already seeking to sell off their Xirniumite assets to safeguard what they can in the volatile climate. As most regional stock exchanges open on Monday, the full extent of the effect is expected to be felt.

[Daytanistan]

Lies of Western Capitalist Propagandists Exposed
Glorious Daytan Social Achievement puts paid to claims in imperialist press

The Workers and Peasants of Daytanistan, through their invincible advocate and mouthpiece, the Supreme Daytan People's Council, have refuted as one the lies of the Western imperialist media which liken the recent actions of Xirnium, in seizing investments owned by Knootian capitalists and industrialists, to the policies of Marxist-Leninist-Nugatist states like Daytanistan.

The thinly-veiled attempt to discredit Daytanistan indirectly, through ostensible discussion of the Xirniumite so-called "nationalisation" of Knootian-owned businesses and goods within Xirnium's borders, has been refuted by Comrade Farrokh Nugat himself, speaking this morning at a spontaneous demonstration in celebration of the triumphant economic policies of the Supreme Daytan People's Council in the capital.

Comrade Farrokh Nugat, General Secretary of the Party, wielded the perfect ideology handed down to him by his father and grandfather, forged in the fires of the Straw Hat Revolution, in his extemporaneous remarks to the crowds of happy workers and peasants, in which he explained the truth behind the so-called "nationalisation".

In a true nationalisation, the workers gain control of the means of production from the perfidious clutches of capital and its purveyors, benefiting thereby, whereas in the case of recent events in Xirnium, the ownership and control of the means of production has passed from the hands of Knootian capitalist industrialists into the hands of Xirnium's political, economic and social elite, while the workers are simply transferred, as if they were goats, from the clutches of one capitalist into another.

By contrast, in the Democratic Republic of Daytanistan, which the hateful periodicals of Belgorod and Hartstad defame as a "Bolshevik dictatorship", the workers and peasants enjoy both ownership and total control over the means of production, with each workplace governed by its own local soviet, which determines production quotas and techniques to achieve them, sets rules for the workplace, rewards productive comrades, and deals with comrades who do not pull their own weight.

"The system of local soviets... as established by the Grand Father of the Nation, Comrade Khemal Nugat... have provided for the unprecedented economic growth and world-leading standard of living enjoyed by the Daytan people today!" the Father of the People, Comrade Farrokh Nugat, the First Citizen, told an enthusiastic crowd of workers and peasants.

It is this system of local soviet control, and proletarian ownership of the means of production which has enabled the great Socialist Achievement of Daytanistan under the wise and paternal ideological leadership of the late Comrade Khemal Nugat, the late Comrade Mamood Nugat, and of Comrade Farrokh Nugat today.

Following the pure Marxist-Leninist-Nugatist ideology of our eternally victorious Party, the Daytan workers and peasants call out to their class brothers and sisters in the West, and say that the petty squabbling between Xirniumite and Knootian capitalists and bourgeois class oppressors is nothing but a side-show, designed to distract the Xirniumite and Knootian proletariats from their true class enemies by providing them with a manufactured foreign enemy - in short - Xirniumite and Knootian Workers Unite!

You have nothing to lose but your chains!

[Knootoss]

• Markets Dread Monday
  
  HARTSTAD - Political leaders and finance chiefs are racing to head off spiralling tension triggered by the Xirniumite nationalisation and wild speculation about the Knootian response, as the clock ticks towards the opening of the markets on Monday. Officials from Knootian Federation countries held emergency conference calls on Sunday but no details emerged, with officials doggedly tight-lipped.
  
  In a sign of a possible storm ahead, the Ale-Yarok market fell 7% on Sunday, tumbling on opening but later trimming some losses as investors reacted to reassurances that the government would, if necessary, increase public funding available to the NEVF, the insurance fund that covers external trade.
  
  "Until the stock markets open [on Monday] the extent of earthquake caused by the Xirniumite nationalisation will not be known," said the Trouw newspaper. "But everything points to a Black Monday which may intensify the pressure on the Knootian government to respond with force."
  
  Fears of an economic meltdown, which some analysts see as potentially worse than the collapse that preceded the GDODAD invasion, sent leaders scrambling in a flurry of phone calls from Tanara to New Rome to Spopomir to stem the tide. Trying to head off the pressure, Prime Minister Femke Vologdov pledged that lawmakers would return early to rush through decisive measures. Minister Coppenol of Economic Affairs said: "It is important that Knootoss tries to restore confidence to the markets."

• National Export Insurance Fund Defends Decision on Xirnium Insurance Changes
  
  HARTSTAD - Following the Xirniumite confiscation of all Knootian assets within her territories, the the National Export Insurance Fund (NEVF - Nationaal Exportverzekeringsfonds) held a rare press conference to defend its decision to put the public insurance of Knootian investments into Xirnium on permanent review, and to exclude future investments in "strategic sectors" of the Xirniumite economy entirely from its package.
  
  According to the NEVF spokesperson, the decision to change the insurance policy for Xirnium trade was based on a realistic assessment of the risk that Xirniumite politicians would use the Knootian trade with the Eternal Republic as a tool of blackmail. According to the NEVF, their assessment of risk was borne out by the radical actions of the Xirniumite government two days later. The fund pledged that it would continue to monitor the developing situation in the region closely and, if necessary, adjust its premiums.

• Capital Flight spreading to Caldan Union?
  
  TARANA - Capital flight from Xirnium, where Colombian, Ale-Yarokian and Abtian private investors are confirmed to be dumping their assets, may now be spreading to the Caldan Union of the Resurgent Dream and her dominions. Nervous investors have complained about the complete radio silence that has been observed by the Caldan government so far. The Caldan Union, which has a close relation with both Knootoss and Xirnium, may impose its own set of measures, though it remains completely unclear what those measures will be, or indeed whether lawmakers in Tarana will respond to the changes in the political climate at all.
  
  According to a trader who spoke on condition of anonymity: "Private capital will be flying out of the Resurgent Dream faster than a hummingbird on meth unless [the government] reassures the markets that assets from both countries will continue to be safe in the Caldan Union."

[Amestria]

Xirnium Responds to Knootian Military Threats with Nationalization
Once Again W.A. Nations Fail to Understand Xirnium
By Denise Baudu

You would think it was straightforward cause and effect. The Knootian government does one of its stupid saber rattling gestures, in this case a military exercise quite obviously meant to be a simulation of an attack upon Xirnium, and the Xirniumites respond to this outrage with what they consider a proportionate revenge on the Knootian economy to show they’re not cowed. Easy to see, unless you’re a W.A. diplomat that is, for the Xirniumite government put out a press release saying their nationalization had been because of Knootian sanctions. This was not remotely the real reason; if it had been the sanctions the Xirniumites would have just shrugged and mimicked them. In Närväryn coffee shops the talk is all about that military threat and how the Knootians needed to be reminded that such gestures will get you nowhere here. It seems to have escaped most of the W.A. diplomatic opinion for the moment though, with lots of blame distributed on Xirnium or equally; they’ve apparently decided this country is too insane to really get and they might as well take everything at face value.

This insane country…with the intrigues of its institutional revolutions, it’s odd leaders, its intelligentsia which is both everywhere and nowhere, its anthills of priestesses, mystics, and pretenders, unpronounceable names, and, most of all, its impenetrable history and arrogant sense that in time everything passes except it. These complaints however are more revealing about the nature of those making them then those who they are about.

The truth is that the W.A. nations do not understand Xirnium at all. Xirnium understands them completely, but it just doesn’t care. To act like foreigners is beneath it. The result is that you have a number of countries who stumble around blind in regard to a crucial component of the region and then you have Xirnium sitting back in apathy or intentionally tripping them up.

Sometimes though it escapes the Xirniumites how daft the foreigners can be. When I suggested to a Xirniumite undersecretary in the Foreign Ministry over the course of a private interview that perhaps foreign governments had actually taken the Xirniumite claim that it was just responding to the sanctions at face value, he just stared at me and asked “Don’t their ambassadors get out?”

They do, but apparently they don’t see or hear anything of interest. The fact that Närväryn is dotted with more monuments to Xirniumiteness and various national heroes, real and mythical, per square mile than any other city in the region has apparently made no impression whatsoever. The awareness that these heroes made a name for themselves repelling invasion or even just being rude to foreigners (but never starting a war themselves) completely escapes ambassadors here. As does the fact that Xirnium has one of the highest savings rates in the region and its people patriotically buy their governments bonds rather than putting it into private speculative ventures. The evident prosperity of astrological shops and charm makers, all of whose establishments are licensed and have some degree of half-respectable credential, is another thing which can apparently be viewed without any notion of the implications.

I once spent an afternoon at a luncheon with a group of distinguished parliamentarians and bureaucrats (bureaucrats in Xirnium are honored, not despised, another thing that should be noted). By the end every one of them had procured from his or her pocket or purse or exhibited on a watch chain some charm or talisman from which they said had been given to them from some elderly relation when young and from which they had never parted. I was the only person present without any charm at all. Most Xirniumites, including Agnostics and Atheists, right up to the Prime Minister and Foreign Minister themselves, keep a detailed book of Fortuna. Fundamentally they know the real truth that enormous things do often turn upon tiny things and so don’t get too concerned with enormous things until they’re certain. In fact there's much room for frivolousness as a test, if something can't stand a little playful irresponsibility then it probably couldn't stand something more serious. Xirniumites are never more serious when they are being intentionally frivolous.

The W.A. diplomats even believe Xirnium to be dacadent because Xirniumites regularly say so! They fail to realize the implications of the fact that the Xirniumite popular religion which suffuses everything, including the minds of determined atheists (whose beef is really with the ruthless, reactionary, and royalist priestesshood in any case), is a cyclical, deterministic gnosticism. They make a show of decadence not because they actually are decadent (Xirniumites are healthier then Knootians and Xirnium’s social services function a lot better) but because it’s the Time of Decadence. Nothing’s as great as it once was, things are beginning the long play out and soon the White Armed Goddess will end the whole of creation, feed the foreigners to the wicked demons they resemble, and grant her noble servants eternal service in her Palace before beginning again. There’s no helping it. Up to the end of the world though Xirnium will stay a nation of clean streets, well maintained old buildings, trains and busses that run on time, good public services, well functioning institutions, and a Keynesian welfare state that keeps everything even keel. Taking decadence at face value is just as big a mistake as doing likewise with purported strength.

A lot of things Xirniumites get about is just an act – they are at the same time the most sincere and least sincere people in the region. This is because while they make a show they tend to drop broad hints they are making a show. To play ones role well and not break character is considered a badge of honor. For this reason the Xirniumites I talk with about the Andrium conference over newspapers or watching the XBC thought Adolphine Angadrême performed quite well, Hellenic not at all. They’re as mystified as everyone else why she did what she did, but they assume she must have had a reason (some joked maybe the goal was to make Hellenic lose his job). These signs are everywhere.

At a recent interview ex-minister Eugène Rougon, who spent part of his career sparing with that nation, remarked: “Xirnium has a degree of depth that is underappreciated, its people on the surface can come off as flighty, silly, at times even half mad, but it’s coupled with a deep stability and efficiency. This is a depth that is completely lacking in Knootoss, a humming bird that will zoom one way or another with equal seriousness and absolutely no self consciousness of what its doing or the probable consequences.”

There’s a lot of truth to that, a fundamental predictability is something Xirniumites like. Hence their incomprehensible classical educations on the high end and their mindlessly paint by numbers soap operas on the other (to which there is tremendous overlap in the form of the Foreign Minister herself). That on the surface there can be a lot of flighty diversion does not change the reality that everything is deep down the same. It’s how Xirniumites view themselves, they are a solid people.

Amestrian investors are not spooked by the recent huffing and puffing and are putting money into the country to replace the departing Knootians. The sentiment is bullish, that the controversy will blow over to no real losses (well, except for the Knootians). To quote Octave Mouret, head of the Amestrian North Investment Association:

“At the end of the day Xirnium will always be Xirnium and Xirnium is a very reliable place to do business provided your government doesn’t throw spears at it. The Xirniumites never escalate things without being suitably provoked first; their natural inclination is to sit back on their thrones and snipe until they or the other party have had enough. The Knootian government on the other hand is one of the most unstable, schizophrenic, tension escalating entities in the W.A. and their recent behavior is a case in point. They’re the ones responsible for this crisis and any economic damage it may cause.”

He further advised that nations hold off on approaching the Xirniumite government about purchasing the seized Knootian assets. “Odds are if the Knootians make a show of apologizing and backing off the Government will just give it back.”

Amestrians are meanwhile preparing to immediately jettison their Knootian assets when the markets open out of fear that Knootoss will do something rash.

[Snefaldia]

• Once again, Taranton speaks plainly
  
  WORLD ASSEMBLY HEADQUARTERS - The often-controversial Minister of W.A. Affairs Nëmô Kassäty Taranton has caused a small stir after an answer to a question regarding the Xirnium-Knootoss conflict brewing in the wake of the Atlantic Forum collapse. Speaking at an informal coffee luncheon for graduate students in the World Assembly Headquarters, the Minister responded to a question on Amestrian journalist Denise Boudu's latest editorial, saying "the surprising thing, I think, is not that the Western Atlantic fails to understand Xirnium, but that apparently you only need to be an Amestrian journalist to get a straight answer from their politicians."
  
  The informal luncheon also covered topics such as progressive tax schemes, depression and suicide rates in the World Assembly Headquarters, the price of opium in Daytanistan, and the madness of going into international politics. Minister Taranton, well known for his sometimes controversial and frank statements, was briefly tipped to replace Foreign Minister Ilionas Sondrasai after the latter's injury in the Thiestilm Bombing, but he has since returned to his post in the World Assembly.

[Abt]

• Abtians dump Xirniumite assets on Amestrians
  
  BELGOROD, ABT REPUBLIC - All to happy with the fact that Amestrians have come out of splendid isolation to bail out the Eternal Republic of Xirnium, Abtian investors have been quick to seize on the opportunity to dump their Xirniumite assets over to enthusiastic Amestrian buyers. Economic analysts already term it the "golden parachute of the decade, if not the century" and a welcome and pleasant surprise in the series of unpleasantly surprising moves from all parties involved in the dispute.
  
  Investors appear to be recouping their investments at little to no loss and are ready to find new ventures to invest funds in. Some, still in shock from the events, are apparently cautious about putting all their eggs in the same basket. As such, trends show that investment is growing on several directions, namely into Knootoss, Pantocratoria and Snefaldia. The latter is particularly an interesting market few Abtians have so far explored.

[Amestria]

Interview with Denise Baudu

Interviewer: Are you aware of Snefaldia’s Minister of W.A. Affairs, Mr. Nëmô Taranton?

Denise Baudu: I know of him, it would be hard not to. He makes easy news.

Interviewer: He seems to have read your article and he has said quote: “the surprising thing, I think, is not that the Western Atlantic fails to understand Xirnium, but that apparently you only need to be an Amestrian journalist to get a straight answer from their politicians.”

Denise Baudu: Yes, I agree, Minister Taranton is entirely correct. {Pause] He should probably think about that a bit.



Denise Baudu’s Interview with Eugène Rougon

Denise Baudu: You’ve been quietly working for improvement in Amestrian-Xirniumite relations for some time now. This is a sudden change, coming out with bells and whistles. Why the new Amestrian-Xirniiumite Friendship Association?

Eugène Rougon: This is a stressful time, unnecessarily so but there’s nothing that can be done about that now (certain provocations having been made by the Knootians) and I think the Xirniumites will appreciate a friendly face and a helping hand. I think at the end of this, when this disputes specifics are long forgotten, they’ll remember who their real friends were. Octave Mouret is quite right to think there’s profit in that.

Denise Baudu: Are your efforts being undertaken at the behest of Louis Sauveur Puchot, our Ambassador to Xirnium?

Eugène Rougon: No, it’s not official, there hasn’t been a directive. I don’t have any position at present.

Denise Baudu: Has it been encouraged then?

Eugène Rougon: We are all of similar mind, Ambassador Puchot, Mouret, and me, and in Central a good word was said about it by the President to the council or so Ambassador Puchot’s said.

Denise Baudu: Who do you expect to join?

Eugène Rougon: Everyone with an interest in seeing economic cooperation succeed, quite a bit of high society I’d think. We’re going to help smooth things out, have regular luncheons and tea visits, lectures, hunting excursions, stuff of that sort, and facilitate the expanded role of the Amestrian North Investment Association in the Xirniumite economy. Mouret’s very excited about the prospect of getting Amestrian preference in replacing Knootian imports, for example.

Denise Baudu: So you’ll be exchanging graduated favors?

Eugène Rougon: We trust the Xirniumites to reciprocate our good feelings. But there’ll be more to our Association then that, it’s good for nations that aren’t too commercial, aren't cheap and tinny like a lot of countries, to band together in understanding. A magnificent gesture like the Xirniumite government just made would be quite beyond most of the governments in the Western Atlantic, they’re far too materialistic, only think in numbers and laws and memoranda and so are therefore ruled by them, whereas the Xirniumites have shown they know there are indeed more formidable things then mere markets or expectations. Markets can be remade, made good or better, with a little confidence and ingenuity. Xirnium has plenty of the former and I’m certain the Amestrian-Xirniumite Friendship Association working with the Amestrian North Investment Association will help provide some of the latter.

Denise Baudu: A magnificent gesture?

Eugène Rougon: Quite so, they showed the Knootians who they’re dealing with. Ambassador Puchot told me the President upon being told struck the table and said “Well done! They’re not to be pushed around.” We’ve all been quite impressed.

[Knootoss]

Why we should love Xirnium
Original Title: "Xirnium Responds to Knootian Military Threats with Nationalization"
By Denise Baudu - Translation and summary in Dutch by Anouk Ent

Xirnium is usually misunderstood by Western Atlantic diplomats because they naively assume that Xirniumites actually say what they mean. They do not realise the plain truth that Xirniumites never offer the real reason for their actions.

People who complain about Xirniumite arrogance reveal more about themselves than they do about Xirnium. After all, it is true that Xirnium is arrogant, but this is only because people from Xirnium understand everything about plain-spoken foreigners, whereas they are perceived as completely incoherent by everyone else. This is because Xirnium is above acting as everyone else in the world does, and indeed, Xirnium is apathetic to the rest of the world.

Foreigners are daft for failing to acknowledge this and also for continuing to rely on primitive means of communication such as speech and the written word, rather than divining the motives of Xirniumite diplomats more accurately by looking at their statues and visiting their astrological shops and charm makers. If they had done this, they would have known that Xirniumites are highly superstitious and that they always carry lucky charms around with them. This, too, gives them an edge in the pursuit of international relations because it allows them to be "playfully irresponsible". Playful irresponsibility is a valuable tool of diplomacy because it tests the resolve of other nations to the point where they want to commit grave harm against Xirnium. Xirnium will then know that the outsider in question should not be dealt with seriously.

Another common misunderstanding is that Xirniumites are decadent. Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, Xirniums merely spend their entire lives pretending to be decadent for religious reasons. This is a lot better, and indeed, it is praiseworthy. Again, foreign nations pronounce value judgements on Xirnium based on what Xirniumites say and do, rather than interpreting the symbolic meaning behind what they say and do. As a matter of honour, Xirniumites spend their entire lives playing a role, and it is more important to stay in character than to make oneself clear to others. Foreigners should look for the "signs" that its people are giving off. These signs are everywhere. Everywhere. Consequently, while Xirniumites act flighty, silly, at times even half mad, they are in fact deeply stable and efficient. Other nations such as Knootoss lack this depth.

Xirniumites are very predictable, even though no outsider can possibly predict them. They are a solid people.

[Excalbia]

Sunday Morning with Tim Sarkanais on EBC

Lady Christina Freedman was unquestionably the most glamorous member of a cabinet otherwise composed of typically unglamorous politicians. Not only was the newly named Minister of State (and former Defence Minister, Ambassador and Chancellor) a former television news anchor whose hair was always perfectly coiffed and whose nails and makeup were always a matter of understated perfection, she was also the newlywed wife of one of the nation's leading male film stars whose every move was tabloid fodder.

Lady Christina sat on the sparse set, to the left and slightly in front of a standing height table. Wearing a conservative, yet stylish pants suit, she sat perched on the high chair with one long leg crossed over the other. Her hands were folded casually, a large diamond ring glittering on her left hand. She smiled brightly at the interviewer and host, Tim Sarkanais, who was as round as she was trim and as disheveled as she was perfect. Sarakanais himself was a bit of a throwback, a television journalist with little telegenic appeal, and his spare set - a high desk, several stool-height chairs and a simply backdrop of the Citadel Excalbia skyline - reflected his style.

“Lady Christina,” Sarkanais began, “thank you for joining us this morning. And congratulations on your appointment as Minister of State.”

“Thank you, Tim,” Lady Christina said almost sweetly. “It’s a pleasure to be here.”

“Your first 72 hours as Minister of State have certainly been eventful...”

“They have kept me busy, Tim,” Lady Christina said, interrupting with a chuckle.

“Yes,” Sarkanais said with a nod, “I suppose they have. So, onto the top international story. The economic war between Knootoss and Xirnium...”

“I’d prefer to avoid characterizing it as a war, Tim.”

“Regardless of how you characterize it, my Lady, it is roiling markets from Hardstadt to Belgorod. Many governments have commented, condemning one or both parties. Yet, His Imperial Majesty’s Government has been silent. Why is that, my Lady?”

Lady Christina barely shift in her seat, her smile fading seamlessly into an expression of thoughtful concern. “The short answer, Tim, is that we have every confidence in the ability of Knootoss and Xirnium as mature, rational democratic states to manage their own affairs. Are their competing economic sanctions a cause for concern? Of course. And our business leaders are responding appropriately to hedge against risk on all sides. Would we have counseled both parties to have considered less... severe expressions of their ire with each other? Of course. If we had been consulted by either party before the imposition of these sanctions, we would have counseled a different approach. But neither was required to do so and neither did.”

“What of concerns that the situation could escalate?”

“Our diplomats in both capitals are conveying to both governments our view that an escalation to military confrontation would pose an unacceptable risk to the security and stability of the region and would be meet with an unequivocal diplomatic response from the Holy Empire. We are also informing both governments that we are relaying the same message to the other.”

“What would that reaction be, Lady Christina?”

The Minister smiled. “Hopefully, we’ll never find out.”

“Well, then, what about the view that this is an example of both countries acting unreasonably and provocatively with little justification?”

“If one were to accept the view that the Bright Republic’s nationalization of Knootian assets was solely a response to the Dutch Democratic Republic’s economic sanctions and that Knootoss’ sanctions were solely a response to the... extraordinary behavior of the Xirniumite Ambassador in Andrium, then that view would be correct. However, it seems to us that tensions between Knootoss and Xirnium have been building for some time. While the breakdown in Andrium may have been a immediate pretext - and let me pause here to say that neither the Xirniumite nor the Knootian ambassadors acquitted themselves well in Andrium and, frankly, we would be relieved to see both recalled and placed in... more suitable positions - the actual causes are, in fact, a long-standing, complicated chain of grievances.”

“So, in that case, is there no hope for a resolution?”

“Well, the parties are speaking to each other...”

“Was that a major leak, Lady Christina, or speculation?” Sarkanais leaned forward, like an animal ready to pounce. “ We’ve not heard of any talks...”

Lady Christina smiled. “We are not aware of any direct talks; nevertheless, the parties are communicating. At the moment, it is through announcements and statements; little more than billboard sloganeering. Yet, it is communication and we are hopeful that it will lead to... more refined face-to-face talks.”

Sarkanais leaned back. “Businesses in many parts of the region appear to be quickly divesting of Xirniumite assets and shifting their trade. Yet, there’s talk of the Holy Empire looking to expand its trade relationship with Xirnium...”

“We are hoping to expand our trade relationship with Xirnium; as we are with all the countries of the region. This is irregardless of the current... unpleasantries. While we all hope that normal relations are restored, it is quite likely that, in any case, Xirnium and Knootoss will be looking for alternate trade and investment partners. This is potentially good news for our businesspeople. The export profile for the Holy Empire is quite similar to that of Knootoss - apart from the narcotics and other... immoral goods - so" Lady Christina and Sarakanis both chuckled, "a withdrawal of Knootoss from the Xirniumite market would certainly open opportunities for our businesses.”

“What of rumors of the impending collapse of the Treaty of Lyeithen and the deteriorating relations between Xirnium and Pantocratoria?”

“That is truly unfortunate, TIm. Pantocratoria is one of our oldest and closest allies. We hope that Pantocratoria and Xirnium will be able to resolve their disputes. However, even more so than in the case of the Xirniumite-Knootian economic sanctions, we really have no stake and no voice in matters involving Lyeithen.”

Sarkanais nodded and turned to the camera. “We’ll pause for some commercial messages and when we return, we’ll be joined by three leading journalists and will look at the situation in the eastern reaches of the Holy Western Confederacy and the Divainizemes.”

[Balthorvia]

• Emperor Criticizes Xirnium, Pleads Caution

A statement was released from the office of the Balthorvian Emperor today in which his Majesty sharply criticized the Xirniumite move to nationalize Knootian businesses as "madness" and "global economic suicide". The Emperor stated his belief that the Xirniumite decision was greatly disproportional to the Knootian sanctions placed upon them, although he did acknowledge that the Dutch Democratic Republic had made the first move, and closed his statement with a broad plea towards regional powers to cease their "bickering" before their actions further harm the regional economy at large.

The Emperor's remarks come on the heels of troublesome economic indicators today, as Balthorvia's largest stock market index - industrial collection ICS - fell by 4.6% in the first three hours of trading.

[Excalbia]

(OOC: If anyone would like to pose questions to Lady Christina as one of the leading journalists on Sunday Morning (foreign journalists welcome!), please TG the question and your journalist's name and I'll post a second round of Q&A transcripts.)

[Knootoss]

((OOC: I have posted She Will Not Abide, a separate thread for all the Knootoss/Xirnium stuff and responses to that. I propose that we keep the Western Wire thread for newspaper articles, as it was intended, and Andrium III for treaty-related shenanigans. ))

• Knootoss imposes blockade on Xirnium!
  
  HARTSTAD - In a widely anticipated response to Xirnium's seizure of Knootian assets, the Marine has set sail to impose a blockade of the Xirniumite home islands and the island of Ambalieva using air and naval assets. In a press release, the Knootian government demanded "A solemn undertaking from the Xirnium regime that the sanctions and theft of assets will be undone, or failing that, full monetary compensation at a value judged fair by the Dutch Democratic Republic."

[Snefaldia]

• WAR MINISTER DEAD, CHANCELLOR INJURED IN CAR WRECK
  
  BREAKING NEWS - War Minister Kálin Tåsalađum has been killed, and Lord High Chancellor Ren Dirh injured, in a car accident in Tejaara this morning. News is still developing, but apparently the two men were traveling in a state car with diplomatic counsels when the automobile caught fire and crashed. The War Minister was pronounced dead on the scene by emergency services, while the Chancellor was airlifted to Vyssik Memorial Hospital. He is in critical condition.
  
  First Minister of State Tahyë Wølmeý, second in the line of succession, is acting Chancellor, and Second Minister of War Amre Šimegitili has assumed the First Ministry.
  
  More news as it develops.

[Knootoss]

• Knootian Head of State to visit Snefaldia in wake of tragedy
  
  SARDEGAIN - Grand Pensionary Jan Willem Daatman will travel to Snefaldia in order to attend the funeral of Kálin Tåsalađum, the War Minister who was killed in a car accident. He is also scheduled to visit Lord High Chancellor Ren Dirh at his sick bed in Vyssik Memorial Hospital, in order to personally convey his sympathies. In an interview with KNN World News, Daatman told the press that he has expressed his condolences to the Tåsalađum family on behalf of the entire Knootian Federation.

• Human Rights Activists protest classifying Aerion human rights reports
  
  HARTSTAD - Human Rights groups are up in arms after the Knootian Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Defence removed all reports related to the human rights situation in the Grand Empire of Aerion from its website. According to a spokesperson the reports were removed as part of a scheduled overhaul of the website. However, a Trouw reporter managed to confirm that reports were reclassified by a high-ranking administration official to be 'Confidential', which is the security classification that is used for material that would cause "damage" or be "prejudicial" to national security if publicly available.

• Ambassadors reshuffled
  
  HARTSTAD - Several high-profile ambassadors have been simultaneously reshuffled to different posts. The former ambassador to the Atlantic International Organisation in Andrium, Mr. Alain van Haarlem, has been reappointed to the position of Ambassador to the Grand Duchy of Mont de la Lune, though retaining his rank as Ambassador-at-Large. He is be replaced in Andrium by Ronald Bloodgood, who was ambassador to the Holy Empire of Excalbia. The new ambassador to Excalbia is Drs. Belgraver-Fieldlerson.

• World Assembly Mission in South-Western Epheron cautious success
  
  ACHTERHOEK - The task-force of the World Assembly and Excalbia in South-Western Epheron appears to have managed to pacify the area for now. Violence is down, and some of the black inhabitants of the region have begun to return to their homes.

[Snefaldia]

• Death sentences handed down for five in Thiestilm Terror Trial
  
  SERASARDA- The Regional Circuit Court has handed down death sentences for five conspirators in the Restoration Front terror spree that culminated in an assassination attempt on the Lord High Chancellor and Knootian Grand Pensionary Jan Willem Daatman. Although guilty verdicts, delivered last week and largely ignored by the press, were expected, the application of the death penalty has created shock in the press, as capital punishment has only been applied three times since 2008 in the whole of Snefaldia and the judiciary has long been reticent to apply it. The highest-profile member of the trial, former MP and head of the Homeland Front party Khoung Davijic Tukka, was found guilty of five counts of conspiracy to commit terror acts, ten counts of providing material aid to a criminal organization, but was acquitted of three counts of attempted murder. The former MP was sentenced to thirty years in prison after transport to Antarctic Snefaldia. The death sentences for the five convicted, according to court documents all former members of the State Security Bureau in the Ministry of State, are likely to be appealed.

• Chancellor Dirh reportedly stabilized in Tejaaran hospital
  
  TEJAARA - Lord High Chancellor Ren Dirh, injured in a car crash that also caused the death of the Minister of War, is reportedly in stable condition according to official reports from the Chancellery press office.

• Acting Chancellor Tahyë Wølmeý recalls Analás Ubáthavär as Interim War Minister
  
  SARGEDAIN - In a surprise move, Acting Chancellor Wølmeý has appointed Analás Ubáthavär, War Minister under Anzapahhadu Mugallu, as Interim War Minister for the duration of Acting Chancellorship. In a statement from the Chancellery Press Office, Ms. Wølmeý said "Lady Ubathavar's experience and leadership ability is well-known, and her guidance during this trying period will be helpful as the States-Federation weathers national and international crises."
  
  Lady Ubáthavär, popularly nicknamed 'Iron Annie' for her strong hawkish policies and outspoken opposition to doveish politicians in Parliament, was largely responsible for the Snefaldian commitment to assisting the Altani Federation during the colonial crisis, and later dispatching Snefaldian troops to assist the Diřgę loyalist forces in the Yeldan Civil War, an act that contravened direct Parliamentary sanction and led to her resignation from the Chancellery.
  
  In her own statement to the press, Lady Ubáthavär said "My service was requested by the Acting Chancellor solely to provide guidance and stability while the Lord High Chancellor recovers from his injuries. My condolences are with the family and friends of Minister Tåsalađum, whom I have great respect for. I do not have plans at this time to rejoin the government permanently. My service is for Snefaldia, not politicial ends."