The Constitutional Court has ruled, 5-2, that ponies are not people and have no constitutional or natural rights, since "the notion that ponies can be sentient is absurd."
State prosecutor Dmitri Sakhalin hailed this as a "victory for basic common sense over political correctness and an insidious foreign ideology. It has been established, as a matter of law and fact, that only humanoids are sentient or can be".
The case dismissed a lawsuit by the All-Russian Organization for the Rights of Animals, on behalf of ponies who are regularly "rendered" into glue and horse-meat.
A defeat could have cost the glue and meat industries billions of rubles in lost profits and wrecked the industry.


