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PS2/Aga - Request a Personal Panda!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:31 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
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UPDATE: Request a personalised panda here
UPDATE: WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T VOTE PANDA? Read more here


Hello Nations of the World!

I am your friendly local panda, promising something that no other candidate can - free pandas!
There are a number of reasons why this is desirable:


1. Pandas are cute
2. Pandas are fluffy
3. Pandas are low maintenance (what else were you going to do with all that bamboo?)
4. Pandas won't claw your face off when you try to pet us


Vote for me to claim your free panda! ^_^

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Re: Vote PS2 for Free Pandas!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:42 pm
by Yohannes
Tempting :p

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:43 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Yohannes wrote:Tempting :p

*Holds a smol panda close to you*

He's called Timmy, do you want him?

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:13 pm
by Kandorith
So handing out pandas like candy... does that mean I can eat them?

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:15 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Kandorith wrote:So handing out pandas like candy... does that mean I can eat them?

Erm... I'd rather you didn't. Since they have feelings. And probably don't taste good. Maybe try beef instead?

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:17 pm
by ROM
Wowwww, typical lib resorting to handing out free stuff in order to gain votes. I expect nothing else from someone who resides in a region that once was known as the South Pacific Socialist Republic (SPSR).

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:20 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
ROM wrote:Wowwww, typical lib resorting to handing out free stuff in order to gain votes. I expect nothing else from someone who resides in a region that once was known as the South Pacific Socialist Republic (SPSR).

Excuse me the handing out of pandas will be very beneficial to the World
1. Increases awareness of this utterly adorable species, therefore improving conservation
2. Increases welfare of citizens by providing them with a fluffy friend
3. Will destroy the infamous panda trafficking ring, since nobody will have any use for it any more

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:25 pm
by ROM
okayyy SPSR. You are fake news and your idealogy is a failed one that does not lead to the betterment of Nations on NS.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:38 pm
by Auphelia
Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:Erm... I'd rather you didn't. Since they have feelings. And probably don't taste good. Maybe try beef instead?


Panda is quite delicious and most certainly nutritious. Their fear simply adds another dimension to the flavour.

Now in regards to your campaign, how do you intend to support this distribution of pandas?

On a non-panda topic, what are your opinions on the current whoever that is doing whatever it is you are trying to do, and what is one non-panda relating thing you would change about how things are done in the thing that the thing is that it is trying to be not like the thing.

I do believe I got lost somewhere in that last sentence.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:42 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Auphelia wrote:
Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:Erm... I'd rather you didn't. Since they have feelings. And probably don't taste good. Maybe try beef instead?


Panda is quite delicious and most certainly nutritious. Their fear simply adds another dimension to the flavour.

Now in regards to your campaign, how do you intend to support this distribution of pandas?

On a non-panda topic, what are your opinions on the current whoever that is doing whatever it is you are trying to do, and what is one non-panda relating thing you would change about how things are done in the thing that the thing is that it is trying to be not like the thing.

I do believe I got lost somewhere in that last sentence.

Pandas are not quite as tasty as beef... or chicken... or pork... or literally any other meat.

The distribution of pandas will be supported be a network of conveyor belts wrapped around the World. I'll expand on this tomorrow

I don't know what Caelapes has done tbh, I suspect nothing, which is probably for the best since they are one of those panda-hating Commies.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:43 pm
by Outer Sparta
But how are we going to pay for them?

Re: Vote PS2 for Free Pandas!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:44 pm
by Yohannes
Auphelia wrote:Panda is quite delicious and most certainly nutritious. Their fear simply adds another dimension to the flavour.

Now in regards to your campaign, how do you intend to support this distribution of pandas?

On a non-panda topic, what are your opinions on the current whoever that is doing whatever it is you are trying to do, and what is one non-panda relating thing you would change about how things are done in the thing that the thing is that it is trying to be not like the thing.

I do believe I got lost somewhere in that last sentence.


Empty promises? Card bribes? Trump, Kanye and the Dragon? Panda for eating?

I love Election 2020 :p

Edit:

Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:
Yohannes wrote:Tempting :p

*Holds a smol panda close to you*

He's called Timmy, do you want him?


Omggggg

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:46 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Outer Sparta wrote:But how are we going to pay for them?

Step one: plant *lots* of bamboo. With everyone staying inside nowadays, there is little use for any of the outside space. Bamboo grows fast so converting the entire World into a bamboo forest should be straightforward and cheap

Step two: Just watch the pandas go! We are well known for our reproductive appetites, and will provide the World with an abundance of free pandas within months.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:49 pm
by Outer Sparta
Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:
Outer Sparta wrote:But how are we going to pay for them?

Step one: plant *lots* of bamboo. With everyone staying inside nowadays, there is little use for any of the outside space. Bamboo grows fast so converting the entire World into a bamboo forest should be straightforward and cheap

Step two: Just watch the pandas go! We are well known for our reproductive appetites, and will provide the World with an abundance of free pandas within months.

Goodie. But what if those environmental people say planting bamboo everywhere is bad for the environment?

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:51 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Outer Sparta wrote:
Pencil Sharpeners 2 wrote:Step one: plant *lots* of bamboo. With everyone staying inside nowadays, there is little use for any of the outside space. Bamboo grows fast so converting the entire World into a bamboo forest should be straightforward and cheap

Step two: Just watch the pandas go! We are well known for our reproductive appetites, and will provide the World with an abundance of free pandas within months.

Goodie. But what if those environmental people say planting bamboo everywhere is bad for the environment?

Bamboo is a plant. Plants help the environment by taking in CO2.

Also, environmentalists can totally be bribed with free pandas.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:54 pm
by Badly Bearhaved
Colluding with pandas is absolutely reprehensible.

Do NOT let this monster bamboozle you into voting.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:56 pm
by Mon Civia
Will you also supply bamboo?

I don't think I have enough bamboo.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 5:05 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Badly Bearhaved wrote:Colluding with pandas is absolutely reprehensible.

Do NOT let this monster bamboozle you into voting.

Just look at the hatred exuding from this anti-panda extremist. This is what happens when you don't allow the cuteness into your life.
Mon Civia wrote:Will you also supply bamboo?

I don't think I have enough bamboo.

We will assist with that!
As per my earlier post:
With everyone staying inside nowadays, there is little use for any of the outside space. Bamboo grows fast so converting the entire World into a bamboo forest should be straightforward and cheap

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 5:06 pm
by Auphelia
Outer Sparta wrote:But how are we going to pay for them?


We will make the marsupials pay for it, of course.

Badly Bearhaved wrote:Colluding with pandas is absolutely reprehensible.

Do NOT let this monster bamboozle you into voting.


If they wish to provide us with free, succulent panda flesh on a regular basis, who are we to deny that?

I don't see any other candidate offering such delicious incentives to garner votes.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 5:08 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Auphelia wrote:
Badly Bearhaved wrote:Colluding with pandas is absolutely reprehensible.

Do NOT let this monster bamboozle you into voting.


If they wish to provide us with free, succulent panda flesh on a regular basis, who are we to deny that?

I don't see any other candidate offering such delicious incentives to garner votes.

As concerned as I am about the opinions on display here... this will get me more votes. So go for it. This is just like real life

PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:26 pm
by Auphelia
Candidate, what is your plan in the event a WA member nation is provided with a defective panda?

What systems are to be put in place to compensate for such inevitable failures?

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:09 am
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Auphelia wrote:Candidate, what is your plan in the event a WA member nation is provided with a defective panda?

What systems are to be put in place to compensate for such inevitable failures?

I think you'll find that all pandas are perfect, and therefore this will never happen.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:11 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
Panda, watching himself slowly drop off the leaderboard

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:24 am
by Agalaesia
Vote for Pandaga 2020.

Free Pandas for everyone.

PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 3:23 pm
by Pencil Sharpeners 2
What happens if you don't vote for Pencil Sharpeners 2?


You walk silently down the empty street; the crumbling ruins of the city around you. Flames flicker in the distance over the dying embers of what used to be our Earth. How could it have gone so wrong? But you know deep inside what the reason is, and you are racked with guilt every moment of your now meaningless, joyless life. ‘What if we had given Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un free pandas?’ you think to yourself as an irradiated dust cloud washes over you. ‘Maybe… just maybe that Pencil Sharpeners 2 guy was right - a free panda given to every human being would have been a good idea.’

It’s too late now though. You had your chance. And you blew it. As the storm picks up, a figure emerges from the haze - a giant statue of the part-time politician and full-time sex god Vladimir Putin. In this masterpiece carved of granite, he is cuddling a baby panda, a symbol of what could have been.
“WHY PRESIDENT PUTIN!?” you yell into the heavens, allowing more uranium-infused air into your fragile lungs. “WHY DID WE NOT LISTEN TO YOU AND YOUR STATIONERY-THEMED PARTNER!?”

It had been just two short years since Pencil Sharpeners 2 had lost the WA Secretary-General election, having run alongside Putin’s alias Agalaesia. You couldn’t remember which bland, faceless candidate had won, only that things had started going downhill quickly. Without adorable, cuddly pandas to keep them company, the people grew restless and bitter. The discontent began to seep out onto the streets, first with small scuffles, and then the big boys got involved: Kim Jong un with his red button; Trump with his bigger red button.

Putin stood, statesman-like and sexy as always, in between them, trying to de-escalate tensions and save the World. PS2 continued to munch bamboo and sleep, just as he had always done. But their efforts were not enough, and within months, the fate of our once-beautiful planet was sealed.

You reach a clearing in the rubble, and break down in tears as the scale of the devastation sinks in. Thousands of years of human history, all gone. And soon the humans will be too. You sink to your knees, coughing violently as the radiation poisoning spreads relentlessly through your body. This is it. This is the end. You have nobody to blame but yourself. You slump onto the ground as what remains of the World goes fuzzy, and then dark, around you. As you drift into permanent unconsciousness, the only thing coming with you is guilt.




The future doesn’t have to be this way. You can change it. Vote panda. Vote peace. Vote PandAga2020.