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Doppio Giudici
Senator
 
Posts: 4520
Founded: Nov 26, 2011
Left-Leaning College State

400 ByteCoin per paragraph (Go)

Postby Doppio Giudici » Tue Apr 01, 2014 6:25 pm

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=153398&hilit=NTA

Review this place, give a paragraph saving what you think.

Money is not in solid form, but I loved your reviews. Some of you overgave and will be overpaid, others undergave and will be underpaid.

Do not repeat other people at all...I need new information...Okay?
Last edited by Doppio Giudici on Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:29 pm, edited 5 times in total.
I use this old account for FT, Pentaga Giudici and Vadia are for MT.

"Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening"

Construction is taking forever, but Prole Confederation will be paying millions of Trade Units for embassies and merchants that show up at the SBTH

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Doppio Giudici
Senator
 
Posts: 4520
Founded: Nov 26, 2011
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Doppio Giudici » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:16 pm

Bump
I use this old account for FT, Pentaga Giudici and Vadia are for MT.

"Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening"

Construction is taking forever, but Prole Confederation will be paying millions of Trade Units for embassies and merchants that show up at the SBTH

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Atvania
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 130
Founded: Aug 08, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Atvania » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:21 pm

In "Our History", you should elaborate some in the in-between from ancient to modern; it sort of jumps way too quickly into the present/future.

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Jarden
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 51
Founded: Mar 12, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Jarden » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:23 pm

Very Detailed needs pictures though
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The New Greek Republic
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6268
Founded: Mar 22, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby The New Greek Republic » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:29 pm

Just read the government organization. Your organizing of government seems very well placed as far as presidential and congressional explanation and organization goes. With that said, however, you could go further in depth to explain what the other bodies of goverment do. For instance, how is legislation passed in Congress? Can it be overturned by the president? Is there any type of checks and balances sytem to keep government from becoming too powerful? You can also provide a description of what the presiden't advisers do and how the help him on a daily basis. With these statements, you have done a well-enough job with it, but it needs to be more rounded out and fully descriptive. Hope this helps!
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Fantrum
Senator
 
Posts: 3942
Founded: Mar 20, 2012
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Fantrum » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:50 pm

Your prehistory section is good, my only concern is for ease of reading, to see about possibly adding bullet points.

Actually I had several which were quite new for the time. People considered me crazy for trying them, but they worked. I would give my men weapons that we less reliable, but more effective. I stressed keeping them clean and proper marksmanship. After a while I started using my armor more and more. I would use a mix of tanks and APCs to smash the flanks and then hit the middle with everything else. I didn't shell things often and I never used air-support, just marksmen and tanks mostly. I like to think the things I had bolted to my tanks improved them.

Your histories seem to be in order, except one picture is currently not displaying.

Its too bad that the music of the people isnt a real song, would have loved to hear it.

Cant say that I agree with your politics, but its very well written and thought out.

Ew, folk songs...

Your government organization is... unorthodox...

Very thorough description of the T-84, still, would have liked pictures of some sort.

Army information packet was a wallup to skim, but still very intriguing to read about.

As before mentioned, needs more pictures, while the describing text is great, many people will get bored and leave the reading unfinished if there arent pretty pictures to look at.

Is this enough?


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Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle
Attaché
 
Posts: 72
Founded: Dec 17, 2013
Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle » Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:01 pm

Prehistory is rather short, and the jump between 1909AD and 2007AD is rather big given the next few dates are 2011 and 2012.
The rest seems fine though.

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Artstotszka
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 64
Founded: Oct 04, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Artstotszka » Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:05 pm

In your "Our history" factbook, try to make it more like a historical overview (for example replacing 'we" with "They"). the T-84 is very good, i like how you went into to detail with its specs and history. Other than that, the rest of your factbook is very nice, though a cool idea might be to make a wikipedia-style page for your nations general overview (heres mine as an example:http://www.nationstates.net/nation=artstotszka/detail=factbook/id=170630) if you want the template for that, i can TG it to you :)
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Wow, what a productive post! I've never seen such a post of such quality before. I tip my hat to you, sir, your clearly stated argument has greatly moved me.

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Drawkland
Minister
 
Posts: 3097
Founded: Aug 27, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Drawkland » Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:08 pm

It seems like some of them (An interview ..., Pictures from ..., Terran Credit, My Wall) could be better off as dispatches, but that's a personal preference.

Anyway, I agree in the fact that "Our History" skips too much, it could use a bit more meat as well.

"Historic Music of the People" and "Saudian Folk Songs" could use some sort of musical device. Perhaps a link to a YouTube video with the actual music on it if that were possible?

"Doppio Politics" could probably be re-classified in Politics rather than Culture.

Other than that I think it was very good and extremely detailed, a plethora of information.
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Doppio Giudici
Senator
 
Posts: 4520
Founded: Nov 26, 2011
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Doppio Giudici » Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:27 pm

I think I paid everyone.
I use this old account for FT, Pentaga Giudici and Vadia are for MT.

"Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening"

Construction is taking forever, but Prole Confederation will be paying millions of Trade Units for embassies and merchants that show up at the SBTH

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Inventio
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1575
Founded: Nov 15, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Inventio » Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:52 pm

Doppio Giudici wrote:I think I paid everyone.

I TG'd mine due to forum screwiness, don't think I got paid. Thanks!
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Eastern Equestria
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 7719
Founded: Feb 17, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Eastern Equestria » Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:47 pm

(Bump)


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