Upotte!! - Guns of the World

[Flatwoodlands]

Good entry; however, there are a few problems:

• 1). Everything in brackets. It's only there to indicate the purpose and perimeters of each category. Rid those and it will look much cleaner.
• 2). Appearances. The first 'Appearance' is how your personified gungal appears. For the sake of compactness, I require all applicants to include a verbal description and url link. As for the second 'Appearance', it should only be the gun itself, not the gal herself. Simply put it, remove the images.
• 3). Your weapon's history. It's more of a summary than the tale of its development, designing, construction, and service. Refer to my example or other weapons for inspiration.

Once you fix those, I'll give you another shot.

Wanna look at it again to see if its any better?

Problem three is resolved, but numbers one and two persist. Keep going, you're going in the right direction.

[Flatwoodlands]

Name: Penelope
Designation: P56
Appearance: Penelope is a tall pre-teen girl with dark brown hair, blue eyes, and fairly light complexion.
———
Country of Origin: Flatwoodlands
Cartridge: 5.56x45mm
Action: Roller Delayed Blowback
Classification: Assault Rifle
Height: 204mm
Weight: 3.51 kg
Length(s): 1,000mm
Fire rate: 700 rpm
Feed system: 20 or 30 round box magazines
Sights: Rear aperture (L-type flip) and front wing-protected post
Produced: 2056-Present
Appearance: P56
———
Family:

• M16 (distant aunt)
• SCAR (distant aunt)
• CETME (distant aunt)
• P56-L (younger sister; CQC variant)
• P56-H (twin sister; battle rifle)
• P58 (cousin; SAW)

Affiliation: Flatwoodlands, New Zealand, Indonesia, and others
———
History: In 2022, not long after Flatwoodlands' foundation, FAB (Flatwood Armaments & Bombs Fabrication), the country's state-owned weapons monopoly, had four development teams, each proposing new weapons for the FAF (Flatwood Armed Forces). By 2024, only one design was deemed fit for action: the Peter Gun (aka, P25 Assault Rifle). Despite this, the three other designs were not entirely forgotten. In fact, one of the development teams continued their research and tinkering in secrecy throughout the 2nd Human-Combine War. When the war concluded, and the P25's fame and production ended, it was not long afterwards that there was the creeping demand for a modern replacement.

Despite military budget cuts and heavy industry slowdowns, FAB employed three development teams for the task. By the mid-2040s, one development team remained, assuming control over Flatwoodlands' new assault rifle program. From outward appearances, it seemed that it was taking forever to design and develop a new weapon; however, what very few people knew was the extensive research and comparisons made with other rifles. In reality, the new assault rifle wasn't just an indigenous design; it was a combination of the best and worst of every pre-Combine era weapon. Most importantly of all, it was meant to be better than the stubborn P25, the latter still remaining in service within vast or modest quantities despite its terminated production.

By 2052, the new rifle was unveiled at the New Sydney Weapons Exhibition. Magazines and news outlets - local and international - initially believed that it was a P25 derivative; however, closer inspections and live demonstrations revealed a completely different weapon. It was smoother (delayed blowback action), lighter (2/3 of its construction is composite synthetics), gentler (less felt recoil), and faster (higher cyclic rate and better ergonomics) than the P25. These traits were soon equally well received by military personnel, where, according to tradition, the weapon eventually gained its nickname, the Penelope gun. By 2056, it was officially adapted into service...
Confirmation: "Thou shalt have fun."

[Flatwoodlands]

-snip-

We are sorry to inform, you’re application is DECLINED.

We have given you ten days to correct any aforementioned mistakes, any heartfelt effort would have been appreciated and made you eligible for further extensions or accomodations. With all due respect, you haven’t done any of these. Our biggest complaint was the originality and effort.

You have no plausible successes and shortcomings with your gun - it only mentions it’s development and creation. This is not so much for other readers to see, but rather for your own reference. Every little detail about the actual gun will reflect and define its anthropomorphic counterpart.

Please do not post here again. Second offense will receive a warning from a mod. Third offense is a blacklisting and ban.

Thank you.

Have a nice day.