Home of The Brave: An 1960's Political RP (IC)

[Meretica]

When asked what she thought of Broussard's response, Abilene Wilson-Carter answered, "He hasn't said a word about my husband nor me. He was referring to a couple named the Carters. We are the Wilson-Carters-- but if someone could introduce me to the Carter family, I'd certainly not object."

[Meretica]

Detroit, MI
Support Senator Boone Rally
Organized by "MI Republicans for Boone,"
Founded by Gov. Wilson-Carter

"There is a bear in the woods," Robinette Wilson-Carter began. "For some people, the bear is easy to see. Others don't see it at all. Some people say the bear is tame. Others say it's vicious and dangerous. Since no one can be sure who's right, isn't it smart to be as strong as the bear? That bear, ladies and gentlemen, is the Soviet Union, and the Republican Party has not acknowledged the missile gap that has kept them stronger than us during the past eight years.

Governments can err, President Roosevelt once said, Presidents do make mistakes, but the immortal Dante tells us that divine justice weighs the sins of the cold-blooded and the sins of the warm-hearted in different scales. Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference. The American people today are very nearly confronted in their Executive Branch with the very danger of which Franklin Roosevelt warned - a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference.

Some Republicans say that Americans are "living better today than ever before - and they are going to vote that way." But the facts are that 17 million Americans go to bed hungry every night - 15 million families live in substandard housing - 7 million families are struggling to survive on incomes of less than $2000 a year. We have more than four million unemployed workers, with jobless benefits averaging less than $31 a week. Millions of American workers are being paid less than $1 an hour, to say nothing of $1.25. Our economy has declined to a growth rate which is only half the record increases of the Roosevelt-(not Truman) era. The Soviet Union is expanding its economy three times as fast as the United States.

And our unfinished agenda is even longer in the area of national security. Whatever the exact facts may be about the size of the missile gap, it is clear that we shall need more missiles, more ships, planes, and men, more atomic submarines, and airlift mobility. Republicans like Fraser and Jackson have repeatedly stated that they intend to carry on the policies of this Administration. Let us hold them to that - because I predict on November 8th, 1960, the American people are going to reject that tradition.

After eight years of this Administration, this nation needs a strong creative president in the White House. Today our very survival depends on that man in the White House-- on his strength, his wisdom, and his creative imagination. Only a creative national party can provide a strong, creative President. The Republican Party is not a national party. It does not represent all sections, all interest groups, all voters. And that is why-- historically and inevitably-- the forces of inertia and reaction in the Republican Party oppose any powerful voice in the White House, Republican or Democratic that tries to speak for the nation as a whole. But to send that Democrat to the White House we have to win. And I don't believe this talk that we cannot win. I think we will win.

But we are not going to win by mocking Republican slogans - by putting the budget ahead of our security - by raising interest rates instead of production - by substituting pageants for policy in world affairs. So I repeat: WhenFraser and Jackson say that they want to carry on the policies of the last eight years, let us hold them to that statement. For I cannot believe that the voters of this country will accept four more years of the same tired policies. I firmly believe that the American people next November will respect that candidate and that political party which has the courage to speak the truth - to tell the people the grim facts about what has happened to America during the past eight years and what we must do to survive.

The American people, in my opinion, are going to vote for a change... for a President willing to move ahead... for a President with new ideas and real courage. That candidate is Senator Earl Boone of Tennessee. Boone has support from the left and the right. Many different people, from Senator Ladhe to Congressman (random Republican) to myself all support the candidacy of Mr. Boone. We like him. We support him. We are ready and willing to defeat the Republicans in November!"

[Deblar]

Nelson F. Morrison’s Senate Office

Senator Nelson sat in his office, looking through a newspaper, when he saw a headline:

“Senator Ladhe Drops Out Of Race, Cites Health Scare”

“You’re kidding me,” Morrison said aloud to himself. Just then, and aide knocked on the door.

“Come on in”, Morrison yelled, eyes still on the headline.

“Senator, your have a visitor.”

“Send them in,” said Morrison. A few seconds later, the visitor stepped in and spoke with a very familiar voice.

“Well, if it isn’t old Nelly himself.”

Nelson looked up to the visitor; his younger brother, Joshua Morrison.

“Josh?,” said Morrison, pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing in DC?”

“I was in town for this big function I was invited to and figured I’d stop by to say hi to my older brother.”

“Well, isn’t that right? Come, take a seat.”

Joshua sat, then spoke up again. “How’s the wife and kids,” he asked.

“Oh, they’re doing fine, Victoria is somehow able to manage all of them.”

Joshua nodded, then continued. “You know, I’ve been paying attention to developments around here, especially with the primaries. With Lahde dropping out, I think there’s an opening.”

“An opening?”

“You know, say some dark horse in the race wanted to gain traction. This is quite the prime opportunity.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…you should run.”

“Me? For President?”

“Yes. Now, Lahde dropped out, and like I mentioned earlier, it provides a prime opportunity for you to fill the void. Plus, it doesn’t matter if you don’t win; you can just make sure Sharp and Turner lose.”

Nelson thought this over. Josh had made some excellent points, plus he knew with the right strategy, he could do some real damage to the primary.

“You know what…I should run for President.”

“What do you know, I talked him into something,” joked Joshua.

“And I will run for President.”

“Hallelujah, I’m on a roll!”

Nelson chuckled as his brother joked.

He was gonna run for President.

---

Columbus, Ohio
Nelson Morrison Speech
August 30, 1959

---

There was a large crowd in attendance to listen to Nelson’s speech. Nelson walked onto a stage towards a podium, his wife Victoria at his side. As he arrived at the podium, there had already been a speech written up by Joshua placed on top of it. Nelson was preparing to begin seeking when the crowd began chanting.

”Morrison for Prez! Morrison for Prez!”

Nelson paused, taking it all in. After around 10 seconds, he put a smile on his face and began to speak.

“Well, what a lively crowd here tonight. Words cannot describe just how happy I am to be here in my home state of Ohio again.” The crowd cheered, then he continued. “So, based off of your welcome, you want me to run for President, don’t you?”

The crowd cheered again in response, all but answering his question. “Well, it is your lucky day. I, Nelson Fitzgerald Morrison, am indeed declaring my candidacy for President in the Democratic Party primary.”

The crowd cheered once more, then he continued.

“I’m sure you have all heard this saying before: time waits for no man. The 1960’s are rapidly approaching, and I’m sure they are going to be a decade of change and a decade of evolution. I believe that we should welcome this change with open arms here in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. And with these changes, both future and present, comes challenges and threats. Not just from abroad, like from the Kremlin, Vietnam, and more recently, Cuba, but from here at home as well. While the far left plots the downfall of America, the far right uses this opportunity to turn America into a dystopia in the name of anti-communism. For the sake of the continued survival of the American Dream, we must resist this at all costs. We must fight to keep the far left and the far right out of the White House, and I am prepared to fight that fight.

“However, even as a former military man, I am a firm believer that not all fights are necessarily fought with guns and men. Rather, this fight will require manpower not in the form of soldiers, but of citizens and voters; arguably our most valuable natural resources. This fight must be fought not at the frontline, but at the polls. The right to vote must be exercised by all who can exercise it if the far left and far right are to be kept at bay. As I am aware of, not all of us are freely able to vote, in particular our African American brothers and sisters, due to an attempt by corrupt politicians in the South to suppress their voices and stay in power. This is yet another ploy that plagues America, and I will not stand for it. I promise as President, and if not as President, then as Senator, I will stand to protect the right to vote for all people.

“And while we fight these threats, we must also aim to provide equal opportunity to succeed here in America, and to provide each and every American the equal opportunity to live out the American Dream. Furthermore, we must remain steadfast in our efforts, channel the unbreakable American spirit, and do everything in our power to keep the far left and far right out of the White House and one day stand triumphant over our enemies and our flaws. Vote for me, Nelson F. Morrison, in the primaries, and not only I, but you, can and will protect the sacred right to vote, give your fellow Americans the equal opportunity to succeed, and keep America from becoming both a communist union and a far right dystopian nightmare.”

With that, Nelson wrapped up, and the crowd cheered one last time. Nelson smiled and waved to the crowd along with Victoria. Hopefully this is the beginning of a successful campaign, Nelson thought.

[Meretica]

August 20, 1959
Lansing, Michigan
W-C for Governor/Boone Rally

Despite his illness (liver cancer, but he couldn't share that just yet, now could he?), Ladhe knew deep down that he couldn't just abandon the party altogether. He would retire once his term was up-- assuming he lived that long-- and then drop an endorsement or two via telegram or newspaper if he thought some particular candidate deserved it. But for now, he was still needed. He maintained the influence that he had built up over the years making up his political career. Maybe I'll be remembered as the father of the progressives, Ladhe thought. He tottered up the stage towards the podium where he had been told he would begin speaking. There were cheers, joyful shouts, and jubilant cries of "Ladhe! Ladhe! Ladhe!" But there were also boos; he was not the most popular man in the centrist Midwest, no... but he still had some degree of influence.

"Hello, Lansing!" he began. "Thank you all for being here. What a turnout. This is just incredibly humbling. Thank you. But I know why you’re here. You’re not here for a lot of political rhetoric. You didn’t show up to hear a lot of talk about how things could be different and better than what they are. You’re here because you’re done with politics. You’re here because the promise of American democracy-- the promise of opportunity for all-- remains unfulfilled for too many. You're here because this election cycle is the most important in our lifetimes.

Let me start by quoting something that I heard a fellow named (not Ronald Reagan) say in a Jackson rally in Montana just a few weeks ago... "Let us be sure that those who come after will say of us … that in our time we did everything that could be done.[/i] And here are the words of Franklin Roosevelt, speaking at Oglethorpe University in 1932. It is common sense, he said, to take a method and try it: If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Two parts of America’s rival political parties, one sentiment.
Try something.
Do something.

If you paid any attention to this election, or the last one, or the one before that, you can be forgiven for thinking that our problems are insurmountable, that there’s just nothing we agree on enough to get it done. But that’s not true. There’s more that unites us than divides us. And while elections focus on the divide, I want to focus on what we share. Because — yes — there’s sacred ground. But for each of us, I believe, there’s also common ground. And that’s the ground we need to cultivate.

To fix what’s wrong, we have to be honest with ourselves — people are hurting out there. Jobs are tough to come by in some places, and incomes aren’t keeping pace with inflation. Paychecks aren’t rising, utility and tuition bills are strangling us, and a hundred dollars just doesn’t go very far at the grocery store anymore.

We’re not going to settle for this. Ours is the greatest economy in the world, and there’s a reason that people around the globe want to come here to achieve success and prosperity. But we have a lot more work to do. Right now, at this crucial moment in American history, we have a chance to achieve unprecedented gains in economic growth. Not by giving more power to the politicians. Not by giving more breaks to multinational corporations. But by unleashing the ingenuity and innovative spirit of ordinary Americans.

We’re not going to get our economy on track by punishing some to pay for everybody else, or by telling hardworking taxpayers that the American dream is no longer within reach. That would be a lie. It’s very much within reach. All we need to do is make sure the rules apply to everyone and get the government out of the way.

On the international stage, the United States must take the lead in a world of competing powers. And while we must respect the framework of multilateral institutions, the U.S. must always take the moral initiative.
We cannot wait for a permission slip to do the right thing.

The world is a nasty place in many ways, and rogue dictators the world over will try to subvert and undermine multilateral institutions and agreements at every turn. But that is precisely why the United States must never turn its back on the United Nations or waver on our obligations to NATO. If we do that, other powers will quickly move into the vacuum and we will face global instability as a consequence.

We should welcome dialogue with Russia’s leaders. But Russia will not — I repeat, will not — dictate the terms under a Boone. We should engage with China, in concert with the international community. The dispute over sovereignty in the South China Sea will need to be resolved by the Boone administration. But China should understand: The U.S. will not ignore raw aggression in international territory. To meet our obligations around the world, to continue exercising leadership in defense of democratic values, the U.S. military must continue to be the greatest in the world. We cannot ask our men and women in uniform to defend freedom around the globe without giving them the tools to do the job.

So while the Defense Department must justify every line item of taxpayer money, we have to realize that a safe and stable world doesn’t come cheap. As we express, defend and advance our values abroad, we also need to live them at home. And that means making sure that we all have access to affordable health care. It makes no sense that over the past few years, your deductible has risen several times faster than your pay. Your premium has risen many times faster. And now we’re seeing premiums go up while the number of plans you can choose from goes down. That’s not how this is supposed to work.
It makes no sense that prescriptions routinely cost several times more in the U.S. than they do in the U.K. or other countries. And it’s unconscionable that drug companies jack up prices just because they can. If a kid dies from a bee sting because her parents couldn’t afford medicine, something has gone wrong in this country. Something has gone wrong. And together we can set it right. It’s no secret that health care and retirement are some of the most politically polarizing issues today.

But it’s also no secret that this is an issue that has touched every single one of our lives. For better or worse, Social Security is the law of the land. Does it have real problems? Absolutely. But it has also given hundreds of thousands of Americans a plan. Scrap it, and millions of Americans lose their retirement funds tomorrow. Scrap it, and those plans, which are going up too fast already, will go up by another third, or even half. So let’s build on the laws we have. So let’s keep what works. Let’s fix what’s broken. Let’s tell the drug companies that they have an obligation to more than just their stock price, that they have an obligation to us. Let’s get serious about prevention and attention to chronic diseases. And let’s make sure that working Americans can access and afford the health care they deserve. It's the kind of progress we need. But Look, those are just a few of the places where we know we can make progress. If you feel the same way on these issues, and I know the vast majority of Americans do, I need you to get out there and do your part. I need you to stay engaged.

We know we can make progress. But for us to do something, I need you to do something. I need you to vote. I need you to get your friends and neighbors to vote. I ask you to stand with Senator Booner. Join us. And together we’ll build the country we know we can be. Because remember: This election isn’t about Sharp, or Fraser, or Jackson, or anyone else. It’s about where we’re headed as a nation, and I believe we’re headed toward economic freedom, self-governance, strength abroad, and prosperity at home. And how can Michigan work on this locally, some might ask? By joining me in supporting the next governor of the great state of Michigan... Abilene Robinette-Carter!"

Ladhe turned towards the steps, eyes squinting as he watched the current governor, Robinette, walk side-by-side with his wife up the steps. He refrained from coughing though he so desired to wheeze, grasp some semblance of air. But he held himself together and shook both of their hands. He wobbled towards the seat he had been assigned; Robin sat beside him.

"We're pretty different, Senator," he said, "but you're a damn fine speaker."
"Thank you," Ladhe groaned quietly in reply. "I wish you the best of luck."
"The best of luck to you, too."

"Thank you, Senator Ladhe!" Abilene interrupted both of them through the microphone. "The best wishes of myself, my husband, and the state of Michigan goes with you. We pray that your health improves with time." There was an appropriate amount of applause for her comment. "Senator Ladhe's endorsement does one thing for the great state of Michigan: it shows that compromise is truly possible. Many thought that my husband was out of sorts when he endorsed Boone and then me. Well, Senator Ladhe has done both of those things as well. They've reached across the aisle for the benefit of the common man..." Abilene continued speaking for several long minutes, citing how she would work closely with the legislature to bring more prosperity to Michigan, modernize rural areas, and maintain civil rights statewide.

[Newne Carriebean7]

---

Senator Sharp speaks in West Virginia, slams Boone and "Federal Debt Raiser", Nicknames Boone and himself
Salem, West Virginia
August 30, 1959

---

"Well-hell hell hello W'rst 'ginnia! Now, I know that y'all didn't wanna join ol' Bobby Lee's crusade against them yankee bastards, but y'all is a state n' I say let bygones be a bygones! Good ol' West 'ginny. Y'all's west o' ginnia, er rather north o' ginnia. Y'all fellers boarder that one state o' oh hee oh. Good times, good times! Now, where in the sam hell was I?"

"A goddamned nursing home!" A heckler shouted, with some heads being turned in the crowd as Sharp tried his damndest to ignore the outburst by the obvious republican.

"Right, I was onna who in the sam hell am I? Well, I am a Yoo Ess Senay toor from the good ol' state o' M'ssippii! I'll give y'all the sweet n' condensed version o' my life story. Or was it I was gonna give y'all milk? Just a goof from Mississippi's oldest national resource!"

"Y'all mean a goddamned fossil grandpa!" another heckler had an outburst, with some mild chuckles from the crowd. Sharp took in a couple of deep breaths, readjusted the pair of glasses upon his nose and continued with his life story.

"Now, I am a U.S Senaytoor, but before that I was a Yoo Ess Representative for my native Cedar Grove, and even before that I was a lawyer. Before that even? A soldier who cut his teeth n' got a babtisim o' fire durin' Belleau Wood under Mister Pershin's machinations n' shit like that. I was a machine gunner n' I remember how hellish that battle was. The damned jerries n' krauts n' imperial kuk fellers was all o'er me like shit onna flies. I fought long and I fought hard. I pissed myself on more than one occassion, but I did it because I loved my country. I was not drafted to g'an n' serve. I simply attended a meetin' with John Sharp Williams n' he wanted us Mississippi boys to g'an n' die for Uncle Sam. So I eagerly said to his face: 'where do I sign up fer my country'? It's a good memory that almost prevents the nightly screamin'. Almost folks, I saids almost. Might need t' see a doctor 'bout its. I dunno right now, like cotton on fire!

After I fought n' bled for my country, n' a followin' my skoolin' inna Virginia Military 'cademey, I went through hard times. There wasn't work for a man wit my lil ol' talents. No, this don't mean I morphed inna a Senator, that comes later folks! As my time 'fter passin' the bar, I fought long n' hard for the lil' man. I railed against those fat cat corporations, manned by yankees that didn't give a damn 'bout the interests n' messages o' the poor folks of the detrodden south. I will use this energy I had when I was inna my fourties n' fifties t' g'an n' git y'alls a perfect white paradise! No damned Senegambian or nigerian will bother any o' y'alls wit his blue gums a yappin'. The only circumstance in which I wanna see his damned gums a damned yappin' will be if he's a thankin' the white massa for not whippin' 'em! As much as I toy with gittin' rid of the 13th Amendment, I realize how much of a monumental task that will entail. It'll mean I'll have to pen out letters, give speeches, actually be compee-tent for once, that's too much t' ask on top o' bein' Mississippi's finest natural resource n' a runnin' fer the Presidency!

Folks, do I paint a bad picture o' the slimly African race? Oh hell yes, if I didn't be a quote 'bile spewin' ree-actionarry, then I'da would've never been voted a inna M'ssippii as ther bee-loveed senator fer two, goin' on three terms now! It ain't enough to just berate the black man, y'all must have solutions for the white man n' his kin. I have those solutions. They ain't as radical as what commie-boone is a proposin, nor are they as nazi-ridden as thems Turner fellers, no folks, they're inna the middle, but leanin' t' the right.

What in the sam hell do I mean by this? Well folks, it's simple, I wanna have Medicare, but I don't want Federal Debt Raiser's version o' Meddy-care. That also means I don't want Commie Boone's version of Medicare! I want a more responsible version o' Medicare. I want the state's to handle such a program. If the states need help with 'em, then and only then will Uncle Tom-I mean Uncey Sam step on in, roll up his sleevies n' hep out a couple o' state gubments wit their Medicare 'xpenses n' shit like that!

I am a representative o' the poor. I may be a U.S Senator, but If y'all passed on my home inna jalopy, y'alled've past on up my house fer my other neighbors. I am poor n' charieetable. I give to my local food bank each Christmas eve. I even give a lil' out t' the negros inna my district. I ain't that much of a racist in Cedar Grove, I just don't care for 'em onna outside level. Beside's those negroes are the descendants o' the slaves that used to work those plantations. I ain't too sure if my daddy owned slaves, but I think my in-laws owned slaves, and their folks before them and their folks before them!

I must note, that in my travels to some of the most godforsaken husks of humanieetee, the practical 'soddom n' gomorrah' o' areas o' this beautiful country, I've noticed bread lines. I thought that's what we had the good ol' minna-stration o' Federal Debt Raiser to thank for fixin' it? I guess he's now burnin' in HELL for his crimes against humanitee! Now, I don't want the government to intervene too heavily inna this, but I do want the government to act as a good neighbor. I call it the 'Good ol' Neighbar Polieecee' or for those that don't speak idjit, 'the Good Old Neighbor Policy'. Got it? I hope so fer yer sake!

This program will grant local governments more fundin' if they can prove to the state governments that they ain't blowin' their money on stupid shit like 'parks' n' 'public welfare' n' shit like that. I want 'em to g'an n' use that money fer soup kitchens, small 'nancial 'stitutions where there ain't any, and government issued firearms for every white man woman n' child. If a local government can't not do none of that shits and is generally more along the lines o' a soddm n' ghomorra' type o' place, then the state comes on in, intervenes n' incorporates those problems inna other areas n' more populus mule-nen-cee-patities. Hard word t' say, but that's just 'cause I ain't too bright, but I ain't that dumb neither!

I will state it now right here n' shit like that: If we are to have the corruptin' influence o' liberalism, then let us have it only t' fight inna 'nam n' shit like that. Actually, Kor-I mean Cuba is a more pressin' matter o'er the affairs o' some damned china fuckers thousands o' miles away. It's what I thought at first when the damned Japs hit Pearl Habor, I was still inna the isolationist camp. I still hepped on out my country men durin' the '42 midterms. I thought to myself 'why go throug hthe trouble o' runnin' 'gain when y'all can just focus on heppin' out M'ssippiians onna the home front n' o'er seas?' Unfortunateetlee, my 'anager fer my house bid wanted me t' git on out there n' say some good words for the boys inna 'ssippii. I said my campaign manager can goose-step right to hell with that one moustached feller that we fought against? Stalin? Hitler? Hell if I know.

I also wanna see to it that policies such as Federal Debt Raiser's or B-O-O-N-E's so called 'second new deal' don't pass by Congress! This campaign ain't just for the top spot, it is also for those critical down ballot races. That's why I will be endorsing any candidate within the southern primary states that wants to join me inna o'er turnin' Federal Debt Raiser's 'Raw Deal' for this country!

Folks, we all know what BOONE really stands for: Bullshit, Obscene, Obnoxious, Nuts and Evil, in that order! I know it ain't as catchy as SHARP, or Sophisticated, Hardy, Appreciative, Respectful n' Practical. That is the difference t'ween me n' my friend Earl. Do y'all want Commie-Boone's Bullshit, his Obscene policies, his Obnoxious voice, his Nutty head and his Evil soul, or do y'all want Joshua Sharp's Sophistication, his Hardiness in workin' for Mississippians, his Appreciation of both sides of the aisle, his Respectfulness to his own constituents and his Practicality or Patience in findin' solutions for America's pressin' issues inna this day n' age.

I'd say the choice between a disrespectful asshat and a southern gentlemen is crystal clear, no... it's a Sharp picture. To wrap my lon-winnded-ness up, I'll state this, For the rights of the farmer, I'll fight long n' hard for all y'all. For the rights o' the white man, I will fight long n' hard for y'all. For the rights of the white woman, I'll look into it, and for the rights of the South, I will FIGHT FOREVER! M'ember folks, White rights, I FIGHT! Thank all y'all Slem, West 'Ginnia. May god have mercy on your souls, and may god bless all y'alls inna hevean!"

[Dalmannia]

Senator Nelson F. Morrison enters the Democratic Primaries, read the headline of the newspaper being carried by Earl Boone’s secretary in Washington. Savannah May set the newspaper, among other papers (the text of the recent ‘1959 rescue bill’ introduced in Congress) on Senator Boone’s desk. She quickly checked where Boone was along the campaign trail—Alabama—and dialed the Senator’s office there.

Earl Boone had only just woken up an hour earlier, and was writing letters to his constituents and supporters. While he often had a staffer answer these letters, he occasionally had the staffers sort out the hate mail—a fair amount of which Earl was convinced Joshua Sharp scribbled out himself—and replied to a batch of it himself. He was feeling confident about the upcoming debates and the primaries in general. Unless some new candidate emerged (Stoltzman was still lurking on Boone’s radar), he could easily see himself coming away with the nomination.

Then there was a knock at the door. “Earl! It’s me, Waylon!”, hollered Boone’s longtime friend and Tennessean ally who had helped him organize his Senate efforts over the past several election cycles. Waylon Shelby was in charge of keeping Tennessee strongly in Boone’s corner, though he was joining certain stretches of Boone’s Tour of the South.

“Shelby! Come on in”, Boone replied drowsily. Shelby shuffled into the hotel room. He didn’t put his coat on the coat-hanger.

“Well Waylon, why don’t ya sit down?”, Boone asked.

“Sorry Earl, but I’m not here to stay for a while. I wanted to tell you, the folks at the office are talking about some news they received from your secretary up in Washington, and from offices across the country. Apparently the papers are saying that Nelson Morrison has entered the race. He could be trying to fill Ladhe’s space.”

“Say no more, Waylon.”, Boone curtly replied as he put on his shoes, his vest and abandoned the letters at his desk. He swiftly marched up to the car to have one of his aides drive them up to the campaign office.

“We’re gonna need the office to release an immediate statement on this to corral that young man into the debates. Oh, and also, can we get a cup of coffee?”

The Senator’s car stopped at the first diner spotted along the way. An unscheduled opportunity to talk with the common folk of Alabama. Some photographs of Boone getting a coffee there, speaking with the other customers and talking to the diner’s employees and owners would end up in local papers. “A true man of the people.” one would hail him. The Senator’s limousine was always just out of the line of sight in the pictures.

Official Statement from the Campaign Office of Senator Earl M. Boone (Democrat-Tennessee) On the Entrance of Senator Morrison To the Democratic Primaries

Senator Boone welcomes Senator Morrison to the Democratic primary stage. The Ohioan’s competition is greatly appreciated by Senator Boone. As a new candidate in the primaries, Senator Boone asks that Senator Morrison join the debate being organized between the Boone, Sharp and Turner campaigns. The earlier Morrison’s campaign acquiesces to participate in the debate, the more influence they will have in the decision-making process as to when and where the debate will be held, as well as the rules of the debate.

[Meretica]

The following is published in several major papers, including The New York Times:

Senator Ladhe: I Refuse to Resign
David Mueller
According to sources on the Senate floor, Floyd Ladhe (D-MT) and Benedict Gillespie (R-AZ) had a heated argument regarding Ladhe's fitness for office following the Senator's announcement that he has left the Democratic Presidential Primary for health reasons. Senator Ladhe and I spoke about the argument in detail whereas Mr. Gillespie's office never responded to my calls.

"I have cancer," Ladhe admitted to me, building on the initial announcement that he had poor health. "Liver cancer, to be more precise. But this does not affect my ability to serve Montana nor the United States. I can vote. I can propose bills. I can make motions. But Mr. Gillespie seems to think that if a Senator is under the weather then they need to be removed from all of their committee assignments and forced to resign. That's very undemocratic and it would leave Montana without one of their constitutionally guaranteed voices in the Senate."

According to sources on the Senate floor, Mr. Gillespie also made unfounded claims that Mr. Ladhe, who will end his term in January 1961, was unfamiliar with Senate protocols. Ladhe, who has been a strong Democratic partner since he was sworn in in 1955, retorted that it was Mr. Gillespie "that was unfamiliar with protocol" after Senator Ladhe motioned for their argument to be struck from the record.

"I've come to expect this from Republicans, though," Mr. Ladhe said at the end of his interview. "Gillespie is no different than many so-called conservatives. He opposes civil rights. He opposes economic plans that help people. He thinks that we shouldn't be in Vietnam and that we shouldn't be fighting communism in Asia. Not to add that Gillespie blames FDR for the Depression lasting so long. The man's a fool. I am no fool. When the fools do not listen to those that know more about issues than they do, problems arise."

[Louisianan]

Statement from Senator Benedict Gillespie's Office
"Senator Gillespie is a man of integrity, a Senator in office since 1947, Benedict has gotten more experience in politics than even the current president himself. This office was never reached by the NYT, nor its affiliates for comment, we have no evidence of this and declare it as a fallacy. Senator Gillespie has never spoken about those in Asian countries as quote, 'Mongrels'. This is slander against Senator Gillespie as well as the state of Arizona. What started as a simple correction on a motion made by Mr. Ladhe, became a dogfight with Mr. Ladhe becoming quite defensive, and Senator Gillespie encourages all to simply view the Debate Record in which the argument was not struck from the record. Mr. Ladhe then went on to verbally berate Senator Gillespie for no apparent reason, and then childishly published an article about the event basically saying that Senator Gillespie was a fool who has no expertise in Senatorial Procedure, despite him having senior rank over Mr. Ladhe, in both committees, and in their respective parties."

[Deblar]

Official Statement from the Campaign Office of Nelson F. Morrison

We thank the Boone campaign for his appreciation of Nelson F. Morrison's entrance into the race. Boone himself should prove to be a more than worthy opponent himself. As for the debate, we would be honored to partake in it. Our men will be instructed to aide in the process of organization as needed. We look forward to the debate, and may the best candidate win.

[Newne Carriebean7]

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Joshua Sharp for President Ohio state Headquarters (Formerly Daniel's House of home-made Dough rings and Fried fritters)
Coalville, Ohio
August 31st, 1959

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Simple was better, at least for the wallet of the Presidential Campaign of Mississippi's often forgetful senator. Why go through all the trouble of having to pay for the walls and the doorknobs and the locks and the frames and the glue to hold every nut n' ninny together? It was far more easier on the old man's wallet and campaign funds for them to simply rent out a building for their local state co-ordination efforts. There these would spread the good word of the "old man from m'sippa'". Though, there was a clear strategy at least put in place.

The grotesque caricatures of the african in chains while white folks happily skipped along in pointed hats just had the feeling to Campaign Manager Trevor Chamberlain that it wouldn't fly very well in the Yankee lovin' north. So, in spite of a bitter veto by Joshua Sharp, the campaign opted to plaster over images of Joshua Sharp whipping and taming the 'savage senagambian' with segregation and lynchings and instead have the old man read to children at elementary schools, have a few of him chating with farmers appreciatively and even included one or two large drive-in town hall murals along bill boards that lined the route to the Ohio Headquarters.

"Hmph, I still think we ought've treated this place like that diner inna Mobile we've got!"

"Joshua, y'all are aware the one inna Mobil got's that large thirty foot tall statue o' you whippin' a negro? That plays well 'nough inna Dixie, but up inna Yankee country, folks are different. They don't take too kindly to imagery o' that sorts."

"I dunno no more. Shit. Aktually, I still think I'm right."

"... N' who's sittin' pretty at 5 peer-cent inna thems polls?"

Sharp sighed inbetween bites of syrupy waffles. "Me. That's who. Poor ol' dee-jected idjit Sharp."
Chamberlain sighed before sitting right next to the elderly Mississippian. He held one hand over Sharp's non-fork wielding, waffle delivery device grabbing digits and gave the old man a determined look. Sharp's eyes fell upon him, and the senator in his seventies had a wave of optimism swoon over him. Chamberlain comforted the old man.

"Joshua, we can turn this 'right round boy, we just need t' make sure none of that racist shit gits on up north. Inna fact, why not pull back onna thems fundraisin' inna yankee states? Just keep skeleton crews inna places likes Ohio n' Pennsylvania."

"I don't wanna abandon 'em. They'll still vote fer me, thems conservative fellers. I wanna rebuild that fanceeful coaltion that stopped Dictator Cripple from annihilatin' our Soup-reme Court."

"Well, tell y'all what Sharp, we'll have a lil' more than a skeleton crew, n' we'll begin t' git some o' y'all CARP boys outta the swamps o' the south. Will that be good 'nough fer yer boney ass?"

Sharp recluctantly nodded his head as he washed down the bite of waffles with a quick swig of his morning 'orange juice', the icey cold frothy taste of a cold Pepsi-Cola. The Senator did want to rebuild that magical coalition that he was a part of. He thought to himself; "if Southerners and Yankees can agree on many things, why not have them yankees walk on o'er the primary line to vote for my ass? Hot-damn Sharp, y'all is onna fire! Hopefully not actually onna fire, yer too cheap t' 'fford no fire 'xtinguisher inna this cheap ass diner, just flour."

Sharp put the now empty glass of pepsi-cola down on the table and grimaced at his campaign manager.
"I 'ppose that's 'cceptable... fer now. We'll need to make sure to make good progress 'gainst Earl and 'gainst Frank...er...no I was right, it was Frank. I'd rather keep such 'ttacks 'gainst the good whip to a minimum. I'll have to save on up my talents fer one liners onna that there dee-bate stage, heh, heh heh, yes-sir-ree-bobby!"

"Well, it had better be good 'nough fer y'all old n' boney made ass, 'cause we gots more com-pee-tition. Y'all are aware o' Morry-son?"

Sharp squinted at the name, turning his face as if he had been weened on a pickle and had been sucking on a lemon most of his adult life before shrugging his shoulders.

"Can't say I do, Trevar. Ain't he the governor o' Oheeoh or sum shit?"

Trevor shook his head as he gingerly swallowed another forkfull of hashbrowns and scrabled eggs.

"Nah Josh, he's one of them 'seynay-toors.' Like what you are. He's an ol feller just like you n' me of the like. Cut straight from the same ass, too! Both demokats. Well, this here Morry-son, he's runnin' fer Prez-i-dent. Now y'all got some competition as well."

"Damn-it. Hot damn, just cover me inna claree-fied buttar n' take me on out back t' the ball park n' blow a hole inna my ass! Christ on a bike! Well, now this makes me, Earl, Turner n' now Morry-son as the main Democratic Contendors. Am I forgettin' somethin', or is that just my dementia kickin' on in through my brain doors?"

"Well, I don't think he'll cut into yer numbers too harshly Joshua. Hell, y'all might even be up a point er two inna the polls soon enough. If anythin' now the fellers that backed Ladhe will flock on o'er to you now that you've begun the process o' kissin' his ass!"

"Bullshit. The only man's ass I kiss is Earls, and that's if I don't wanna git inna trouble damn y'all! I have high doubts that a feller that was runnin' on a lee-beral platform would waltz on o'er to the man who's main platform is to keep the price of cotton high and the negro down. If anythin', they might even waltz over evenly between the Morry-son camps n' Earl's band o' liberal circus idjits. Ladhe's drop off from thems races means there be now a gap inna the line. Now we've got two segregationists out inna the open, one segregationist's hidin' inna the closet, n' one lee-beral feller from Ohee-oh."

Senator Sharp quickly took a mouthful of hashbrowns in tow with another swift glug of pepsi-cola before resuming eye contact at his campaign manager.

"Oh, that's good. Remind me to use that line south of the Mason-Dixon line. Yes-siree bobby! What w'all needs t' dos is a kick the hell outta our fella Demokats. I'm thinkin' we'll hold on off onna strikin' at the new kid on the block. Hell, I wouldn't be opposed t' him g'ann'n on o'er here t' meet. Hell, we might even have some comma ground t' git behind!"

Sharp's campaign manager tried to not have too visible a reaction to Sharp's enthuiasim before he took a sip of the coffee infront of him.

"Senator, we need to play this smart. Y'all can't just barge into everyone and harass everyone. That means y'all gits no friends y'all sees? What you need to do is decide which ass you wanna kiss more, Earl's or-"

"Earls."

"N,no let me finish you seventy year old senile son of a bitch! Christ Sharp! Now, Earl or Turner. I know that yer gittin' better t'ween y'all n' Turner. Did y'all promise 'em somethin' when he stole yer pocket watch?"

"He didn't still-Steal nothin' valuble from me...that I care t' disclose on at this here moment. No, Trevar, Y'all best have t' g'an n' pick like a hair o' cotton between the Confederate in Name Only Earl Boone, the Dixiecratic son Turner and the one feller that did something...uh, Morry-son. I know the race on them Democrats is a heatin' on up, but I think if this dee-bate holds enough water, then we'll be fine."

"You mean you'll git another chance at pissin' yer pants on live telivison? They'd even hear it on the radio too you old bastard."

"Nonsense, I will be just fine come the debate. It's what I have been a chompin' at the bit fer ever since we g'an n' started this here situation. I wanna dee-bate Earl n' Morry-son n' Ladhe n' whoever else wants t' g'an n' fight. I'll whip e'em all like I whipped good ol' Sofia Frasher."

"Grandpa, you are aware you sucked ass at that debate right? The only reason why you did better is 'cause more people now know that y'all are a bumblin' cartoon of Dixie that's been representin' M'ssippia since '48? I think y'all need to practice debatin'."

"Hell, why didn't y'all git to the point 'eady wit that inna-for-mation? Christ! If I can yell n' win 'gainst my wife on leavin' the outhouse toilet seat up, then I'll be able t' mop the floor on the virtues o' seg-re-gation for my native Mississippii!"

"Well, y'all senay-toor, arguin' wit yer old ass n' another old ass known as yer wife ain't somethin' to realy brag 'bout, y'all sees? You're gonna g'ana g'an 'gainst 'sperinced n' 'xperinced politikians. Ones that'll wipe yer ass onna the fancy dee-bate floor lest y'all practice a bit. Y'all unna-stand me?"

"Well, I think a lil', smidge o' practicin' won't kill nothin'. I'll be fine dee-batin' Earl n' Morry-son. I don't know much bout 'em anyways, but I know he's one of them senaytoors like me n' Earl. It seems there's just a buncha senaytoors a runnin' fer president. Y'all unna-stands its rights? 'course I does. Now, if y'all'ed excuse me, I has a speech t' g'an n' give to the good, hard-a-workin'feell-eers of Columbus, Ohio."
With a sly grin now plastered onto Senator Sharp's face, he stands up from the seat he had been cemented in previously to go give a speech to his adoring fans of the seventy year old senator from 'ssippii.

"GOO 'FTER NOON OHEEOH!" Senator Sharp howled enthusiastically into the microphone that he gripped as tightly as an elderly person would grip a cane. He wobbled for a moment on stage, taking in the thousands of people that had shown up to hear about the Mississippian.

"Now, I duno bout all y'all, but inna this here race, we've got three options. On one corner is mongrelization and the defecation o' the white man- n' of his job. That's right, yer jobs are at stake come next novemba! Or even inna few months from now when the beautiful state o' ohee-oh holds her first, juicy plump n' taasty pry-mary-ary-ree! Now, if I could git all y'al t' vote fer me that'd be right special! Oh yes-siree bobba! Now. What in the hell do I stand fer? Well, I wanna see taxes lowered on the poor. Y'all are gittin' screwed enough as is. The Rich one peer-centers? They'll have lower taxes inna Sharp 'minnastration too. Yes-siree-bobby! The rich and the poor will have somethin' inna common. Uncle Sam or Uncle Boone's tax man not rippin' 'em off too much! Not wit the estate tax, that's a good, god fearin' tax that I'd wanna see raised some how. It's about fairness. Not fairness inna terms o' skin pig-mint tation or some shit like that, but fairness inna who's gittin' screwed by whom. The tax man oughta take a spell n' rest fer a bit. I will make sure the poor n' the downtrodden masses o' this here coutry pay somethin', just not too much.

Now, my proposals ain't socialist. Y'all don't hear me yellin' t' free the negros from their rightful immaprisonment. Hell, we might have to take a good look at it. I'd g'an ahead n' establish a National Committee on State's Rights. It ain't just for southern states, but for northern states too. If a man wants t' marry another six or twelve wimmen, n' if it's a happy hot-damn shin-dig wit no-one round t' woods, then I say let 'em! It's the same way inna-which I talk 'bout nuclear bombs! Mad man theory is a real treat. Unlike some of them far-right politikans in the GOP. I'm well aware that Pike won yer state by a huge ass margin. I'll also be quick to remind y'all that Carry S. Hammond also won this state by a margin that no-one thought possible. That is what the Democrats will be. We will come on up from behind the sleepin' elephant n' win a glorious victory come next year!

I am also proud t' say that I look forwards to that there dee-bate between all them Democrat fellers. Even if it's just me n' morry-son onna stage, I'd be glad to g'an n' do it n' what have all y'alls. He may come from this glorious state of Ohio, but I pledge to hold him even n' to a draw up on that there thingy! Y'all wanna know why? Lemme give y'all the run on down of my life story. Growin' on up inna M'ssippia let me have views on things. Different views. More southern views than the one that Oheeoh feller has. That's fine, it's called the glories of the Confed-I mean America! I can whistle dixie till my lungs expire y'all hear?! I'd give y'all a sample, but I'll hold on offa that fer now. What I am is the definition o' a southern gentlemen. I was polite with Senator Sofia o' N'york. N'york Senator Sofeea. She might be a Republican and I might disagree wit her on a slew o' issues, that don't mean I take any o' it personally. Same wit Joe-Pole of Pennsylvania. I may disagree wit Republicans n' members o' the Jee Ow Pee onna more n' one 'cassion, but that also gives way t' the South. I don't like Huey Louey n' I can't say I stand fer Earl or Frank on more n' one 'cassion.

I tollerate some of 'em more than I'd care t' admit, but I gots t' work wit them Democrats on ocassion. It's either this or goin' back to Cedar Grove to chat wit the misses, all w'all men folk now 'bout that don't we?! he heh he he! I don't git it. Where in the hell was I? Right, Bipartisanship! Now, while my opponents on both swamps o' Louisiana decry my lil' bill' record, I'd argue I fight hard for M'ssippiia! I'm a transparent politikan 'fter all. If anyone wants to barge into my office, pound on my desk n' say "Senaytoor- Sharp, I don't like the way yer representin' M'ssippa!", Then y'all can a g'an n' do it. It's how I've gotten wanna be primary challengers to my Senate Seat! I have the utmost confidence in my state that I'll win another term in the Senate. This will, be, of course, us southern boys and southern girls don't send this old man to the white's house.

I promise all y'all this. On day one of a Sharp Administration, the Federal Gub'ment will be segregated! It's fer their own ood 'fter all! Lemme tell y'all o' a horrar. I was inna the white man's house, n' this here Prez'dent Pike-Davis. His name is misleadin' as-ll as all hell. One might think he's named after the savior o' the Confederacy Jeff his-self. But the actions he takes sure do paint a diff-'ent picta o' his. Not only did he re-mongrelize that there educmacation buildin' inna Arkansas or the Alamo, but he desegregated the white house. Negroes inna a white man's gubment? MY GOD! How horrible! What I did was I pulled an ol' Cotton Ed. When he was at the '36 or '32 conventin, I don't recall which exactly, but he saw a feller that was a black as melted moonlight walk on up t' begin thems prayers. He turned his face right round n' walked on outta there! He heard a small voice inna his-self, from his great plantation-in-the-sky, Vice President and fella Sou' Carolin-nian John Calhoun saids: 'y'all did good Earl. Y'all did good.

I simply stormed outta that buildin' o' his. I can't meet with a man that don't show no good faith inna the real morals o' the south. He was out t' spite me. He even had yankee bullshit hangin' from the streamers n' shit likes thats. That's what I couldn't stand then 'bout the man n' it still rubs me t' wrong way now. We don't need petty, pinko commie, man grabbin' assholes in the White House. What we need is dignity. What w'all need right nows is common-sense. What w'all need right nows is a veteran inna the White House. That's not t' say I don't respect Pike or Jackson' war service. I do respect their blood shed fer Uncle Sam and the Bonnie Blue Flag. Like my ancestors, I respect 'em too. But, we need a christian fearin' god worshipin' commie hatin' poor senator in the white house. Y'all won't git that wit Turner. He's a rich bastard! I am the only candidate runnin' that's net worth is closer to the fellers onna social security. I'm old enough t' git Social security dammit! Apart from my Senate Salary, that is the only income I have. I live in abject poverty, but I'm happy as a clam with what I gots. Most poor people are too after all. Most of the poor fellers whom I have met throughout this country are smilin' n' whistilin' dixie or some other epithet at my face. Thee latter's usually preceded by a wad o' spit on my elderly station wagon n' campaign bus.

I has a been t' many a places right 'round here. This country needs a feller for the White man. Not an Injian or a Negro or even a woman. God forbid, a woman inna the white house? That's quite a thought ain't it? I know that my neighbor's dog is named Max, er Maxine. Can't member which. She heels n' stays right where she's at. That's what all wimmen ought t' do, lest they is a out n' supportin' me. Oh, by the way, git yer wife t' hep on out my wife wit Felton' Girls. We'll make wimmen go back inna the kitchen, but she can also step on out inna the livin' room. A woman will have "Livin' Room Bill o' Rights". Am I ramblin' out 'bout many a things? Yes, it's 'cause I forgot my speech at that there diner I had break-fast at. Summin' on up the words o' a ramblin' man. WHITE RIGHTS? HE FIGHTS! Thank all y'all Ohee-ohh, I'll see y'all 'gain reeal soon. Stay skinny, n' vote Democrat. I'd prefer if y'all voted fer me, but so long as it's for the ass n' not the elephant, I'm satisfied!"