Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2021 7:09 pm
What do you think of my writing and RPing? How can it become better?
Because sometimes even national leaders just want to hang out
https://forum.nationstates.net/
Ameriganastan wrote:And by "Fluent French", I mean I just used Google translate.
Talchyon wrote:Ameriganastan wrote:And by "Fluent French", I mean I just used Google translate.
You know, as politically incorrect as Clarence is, I think he's realistic and fits exactly what the premise of the RP is - people from all times, brought together to correct time hackers.
And, also, just so everyone knows, I'm calling it that this first mission is going to be a botched job. I just don't see the ragtag ensemble of us all keeping it together, staying in character, and getting by without at the least, not being believed. We're not the most cohesive unit yet. We may never be. Still, it's fun to see us try.
Ameriganastan wrote:And by "Fluent French", I mean I just used Google translate.
Talchyon wrote:Ameriganastan wrote:And by "Fluent French", I mean I just used Google translate.
You know, as politically incorrect as Clarence is, I think he's realistic and fits exactly what the premise of the RP is - people from all times, brought together to correct time hackers.
And, also, just so everyone knows, I'm calling it that this first mission is going to be a botched job. I just don't see the ragtag ensemble of us all keeping it together, staying in character, and getting by without at the least, not being believed. We're not the most cohesive unit yet. We may never be. Still, it's fun to see us try.
Ameriganastan wrote:Even when I play a racist peckerwood from the civil war, people find something positive to say about him.
I must be good at this whole RP thing.
Bingellia wrote:Ameriganastan wrote:Even when I play a racist peckerwood from the civil war, people find something positive to say about him.
I must be good at this whole RP thing.
While I do appreciate that you are making him as vile as you are (which is frankly a bit refreshing in portraying a confederate), I do have to ask you to tone it down a little bit. Playing him to the character is well and good, but it doesn't really add much besides making it clear that Clarence and his family are absolute disgusting people and it's making some of the others uncomfortable. It may also attract the attention of NS Moderation because of the general PG-13 rule on NS.
Ameriganastan wrote:Is the language too much? I want to properly display him as a backwoods Confederate dope, but I'll skirt around the unpleasant terms if it bothers anyone.
UniversalCommons wrote:I am assuming that we can do a do over at a later date... We mess up then go back again... Infinite regression.
Europa Undivided wrote:UniversalCommons wrote:I am assuming that we can do a do over at a later date... We mess up then go back again... Infinite regression.
Nyet, we can't go back to events we have already participated in, since they are some bad consequences for being near to your doppelganger (which DB has yet to specify so far other than your head exploding).
Character DescriptionName: Dunaway, Steven K. “Ken.”
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Original Lifespan: 1937 - 2015, 78 years.
Biological Age now: 26
Strengths and WeaknessesSkills:
HUMANINT - Steven is a trained and experienced in the gathering and analyzing of field intelligence, be it logistical date, to troop movements, to most other things one can gleam from a source of information.
Military training - Having passed US Army Basie training, as well as the selection and enlistment process for SOG, Steven is in fit physical shape in terms of strength and stamina. This also covers Fieldcraft, unconventional warfare, and jungle/rural operations, SERE.
- Steven is also familiarized and rated on the M16, M1911A1, and various AK47/AKM pattern weapons.
- Steven is familiarized and in fact specializes in hand to hand and close quarters combat, preferring to work with short blades and knives.
Intelligence Extraction - Due to his particular position among SOG, Steven is familiar with and experienced in various ways of extracting information, mostly through force, from a particular individual.
Weaknesses:
PTSD - Steven’s time in Vietnam was far from peaceful, with him being involved with various grey and lack operations in some way or form. While having mellowed out with time and age, He has been known to slip in to a dissociative state when under intense stress, essentially going back to some of the worst moments of his time in ‘Nam and reliving them.
Prejudice - Being a Son of the south and having matured well before Civil rights became a widely approved of thing, Steven has been known to show a level of apprehension when dealing with peoples of Color...and the French, for different reasons.
Background:Backstory:
Born to an army officer and a seamstress, Steven Dunaway was the oldest of three, with a younger brother and sister, born to the Dunaway family in northern Florida.
Enjoying the fruits of a rather good childhood, Steven grew up to be an adventurous, even rebellious young man who made plans to go to college right out of high school, but was driven by his father to fallow in his footsteps by enlisting.
Being recognized as a man of intelligence and surprising drive for his diminutive stature, he was given the opportunity to volunteer in the Army’s then fresh “Military Assistance Company, Vietnam.” First as a logistical staffer, then in to its more secretive “Special Operations Group” as an intelligence officer, the job coming with the perk of being given a pair of gold bars while in country.
Steven would stay in Vietnam almost the entire war, staying in country after MACVSOG was disbanded as a Door gunner aboard a UH-1C and only returning home in 1971. He would find the same icy cold reception most vets would when coming home and soon move on with his life. He would marry Mary Anne Murphy and go on to have two sons, Steven Bartough Dunaway, and Sean Franklin Dunaway.
Time would pass, his sons would grow up and mature, both enlisting as he did. Around his 60s he would be diagnosed with respiratory problems and after a protracted legal battle, the VA would go on to admit they were related to Agent Orange and thus he was awarded a cash settlement from the US government.
He would finally suffer a stroke in 2012, which would leave him hospitalized until 2015, were a heart attack would take him in his sleep, 3 days after his older grandson graduated US Navy boot camp.
Cause of death: Respiratory failure leading to cardiac arrest, likely a complication of “Agent Orange” exposures.
UniversalCommons wrote:I am curious why the rogue time traveler is acting this way. Did some kind of event end the human race in a specific timeline or cause something like the singularity? Is the Icarus acting in humanities interest? Is there something which states the Icarus purpose? Are there any indications of what happened to the Icarus previous crew? I don't trust the ship A.I.
Character DescriptionName: Valdis Kjotvidottir
--
Gender: Female
Appearance:
Original Lifespan: 849-870 AD
Biological Age now: 21
Strengths and WeaknessesSkills: (Is there anything you are significantly better at than most other people?)
Viking Experience: Much of her life was spent in England raiding, conquering and homesteading for a life away from cold Norway.
-Sailing a Dragonship: Learned while sailing through England's many rivers as well as to the island from her home in Norway.
-Close Quarters Combat: Used to battles with levies of Saxon armies and trained men-at-arms in towns and 'cities' of the period.
-Hunting: She learned how to use and hunt game with a bow and arrows.
Weaknesses: (Is there anything your character is really rubbish at? Not essential you put anything in, but can be fun)
Dyslexic: While in life she was able to read Saxon writings and runes she had significant trouble doing so often relying on others to interpret the written word for her.
Asatru Virtues: Courage, Truth, Honour, Fidelity, Discipline, Hospitality, Self Reliance, Industriousness, Perseverance. While it could be seen as a boon to know someone follows a code of conduct it can also give enemies a way to strike at someone.
-Oaths are very important culturally and religiously and thus this character would almost never knowingly break one.
Background:Backstory: Valdis Kjotvidottir grew up the middle child in a smaller Norse coastal village, though she lived a number of winters several of her siblings did not, only she and her brothers Steinar and Brynjar survived to their sixteenth winter. She had done little with her life save hunting game but now an opportunity had sailed her way an offer to join an 'expedition' to England. Her brother Brynjar would too go on this journey to this far-off land.
Once they had landed on England's shore Valdis quickly started work hunting and volunteered to be a warrior for their effort after Brynjar was slain by a Saxon just one winter after they made land. From this point on she maintained a role as a reliable and capable warrior, although not of particular note, she became skilled with an axe and bow during this time and would often train alone in order to try and better hone her skills.
In the final moments of her life Valdis was a part of a raid on a Saxon holding of some military importance. The raid had gone sour for the raiders who had begun a steady retreat, in an attempt to save a wounded fellow she was struck by a volley of arrows by a group of repositioned Saxon archers.
Cause of death: Turned into a pin cushion by Anglo-Saxon Archers
UniversalCommons wrote:It shows faulty logic. Preserving a timeline where humanity has mostly lost does not sound like a good idea.
Parcia wrote:Character DescriptionName: Dunaway, Steven K. “Ken.”
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Original Lifespan: 1937 - 2015, 78 years.
Biological Age now: 26
Kartofluland wrote:Character DescriptionName: Valdis Kjotvidottir
Gender: Female
Appearance:
Original Lifespan: 849-870 AD
Biological Age now: 21
UniversalCommons wrote:It shows faulty logic. Preserving a timeline where humanity has mostly lost does not sound like a good idea. I can understand the use of inflection points to change history. Preventing Archimedes from dying by a Roman sword could easily have advanced human technology by five hundred or more years because the Antikythera device would have allowed both clockwork and orreries. It would also create technologies which we still cannot replicate-- the use of burning mirrors. There are other technological inflection points similar to this one. Making sure Ctesebius writings never disappeared (creating pneumatic devices two thousand years earlier. Insuring that Leonardo's work was translated into understandable language. Introducing a cure for hemorraghic fever for the Mayans. Lots of things could change history for the better. The problem is that we are facing a situation where there is a villain who is changing history. Three or four of them would probably advance technology by over a thousand years by 2133 a.d. There are plenty of points of departure which are not negative. Also trusting aliens to help us is another thing which sounds not so good. We could become a client species to an alien civilization.
Europa Undivided wrote:We're not preserving that timeline. We're not in it.
Grenartia wrote:UniversalCommons wrote:It shows faulty logic. Preserving a timeline where humanity has mostly lost does not sound like a good idea. I can understand the use of inflection points to change history. Preventing Archimedes from dying by a Roman sword could easily have advanced human technology by five hundred or more years because the Antikythera device would have allowed both clockwork and orreries. It would also create technologies which we still cannot replicate-- the use of burning mirrors. There are other technological inflection points similar to this one. Making sure Ctesebius writings never disappeared (creating pneumatic devices two thousand years earlier. Insuring that Leonardo's work was translated into understandable language. Introducing a cure for hemorraghic fever for the Mayans. Lots of things could change history for the better. The problem is that we are facing a situation where there is a villain who is changing history. Three or four of them would probably advance technology by over a thousand years by 2133 a.d. There are plenty of points of departure which are not negative. Also trusting aliens to help us is another thing which sounds not so good. We could become a client species to an alien civilization.
Except you're assuming that all departures with seemingly positive initial effects are positive overall.
Its a bit cliche in time travel discussions, but lets say you decide not to intervene in someone's plot to kill Hitler before the Beer Hall Putsch (either as an infant, or when he was a corporal in WW1, or some other time, it doesn't really matter for this purpose). Sounds good, right? You've seemingly directly averted the Holocaust AND WW2. Except the knock-on effects are quite severe and multi-faceted.
Of course, for the sake of my personal time, I have not gone NEARLY as in-depth as one possibly can. There are countless other examples in each category, but suffice it to say, if Hitler was removed from history before the Beer Hall Putsch, the world would be in an incredibly different situation, and not necessarily one that is preferable to the timeline we know. And there are certainly historical events which would have even more drastic impacts. What if Hannibal triumphed at Zama? What if Constantinople never fell? What if horses had not gone extinct in the Americas prior to the arrival of Columbus? And so on.Europa Undivided wrote:We're not preserving that timeline. We're not in it.
That hasn't been established, especially as most characters are either from that timeline, or before the Destiny expedition.