Grand Theft Horse - (Old West Comedy / Dead / OOC)

[Danceria]

Posted up, feel free to ask about if you want Pip-Man to know about one of y'alls, he's a freelance clerk and pencil-pusher.

[Zjaum]

Welcome to Talchyon's mid-life crisis!

I'm back, hopefully to stay. Spent a full week out of the state. I'll pull up a few apps.

Confound it all and tarnation, I had a couple good superhero apps at that!

[Talchyon]

Welcome to Talchyon's mid-life crisis!

I'm back, hopefully to stay. Spent a full week out of the state. I'll pull up a few apps.

Confound it all and tarnation, I had a couple good superhero apps at that!

Good to see you Zjaum. I gladly anticipate your apps.

To be sure, neither you nor this RP is my mid-life crisis. If I have a mid-life crisis, it's probably me taking on more things IRL and not saying no...

[Kallidrus]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Melvin Conrad
Job: Owner of East Zilch General Store/Part-time executioner (When nature calls )
Age: 65
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Skills: Organizing, specifically when it's his products; Excellent fiddler; Knows his way around the area, as he was one of the first settlers in the region, in fact, he helped found East Zilch along with Mayor Slick's father, Joseph Slick, and Slick's brother Peter. He is the last remaining founder of the town, being as the town was founded in 1836. Fun fact, they chose the name "East Zilch" because of the nearby town of West Zilch, which you would know doesn't and has never existed if you'd have read Charlotte's first post.

Stuff: Several hundred dollars in cash, kept in a locked safe behind a portrait of Joseph Slick on the wall behind the front counter; His store (duh), An undisclosed sum of money, given to him in Joseph Slick's will, as well as his life savings, in a triple-locked safe in the bank, the safe being hidden in a fake wall, and the wall being in a small sitting room with a locked door to get in, with the door being the same color as the wall and hidden behind the back wall of the front area. He's kind of paranoid. Three guns, one being the Burnside Carbine rifle, a Remington Beals pistol, and an old .69 caliber musket from a friend of his who fought in the Mexican War, hung on the wall in his living room. Some china of his wife's, and standard possessions of a homeowner, his home being in the back of his store. His store contains the only printing press this side of Amarillo, which he charges ¢20 to use. His store is the lifeblood of East Zilch, and he intends to keep it that way.

Goals: Supply the town with goods, and make profit doing it.

Bio:
Born December 21, 1792 in a small, one-room cabin near Lexington, Virginia. His parents, both of whom served in the Continental Army (his father as a Lance Corporal, his mother as a nurse), had just recently married. Soon after Melvin was born, the young family moved with a group of settlers to a rural region of Kentucky, where Melvin grew up. Cuttin' trees, and learnin' books from his momma, he sure didn't have much variety in his life. When he turned 18, he eloped with the woman he would be married to 'till her death, Marjorie Stevens. He then moved himself and his wife to an area near Texarkana, taking full advantage of the new lands of Louisiana. He built a small homestead on a bluff surrounded by a dense forest, overlooking the Red River. [WIP]

RP sample: your. fucking. mom.

Leave here: Hang'em
^^I made it big because fuck you


Work In Progress, probably finished by tomorrow.

[Zjaum]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Donald Coy-ote
Job: Rancher
Age: 40
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Skills: He can herd cattle rather well. He's well-read, and he can joust.

Stuff: A very thin flagpole refit to be a lance, the flag for said flagpole refit to be a cape, a workhorse refit to be a warhorse, a mining pan refit to be a buckler, a farmhand refit to be a squire (hey, anything to get off work).

Goals: Reclaim Texas for the rightful owners!... What? No, not Mexico. ESPAÑA! And something something give the Pueblo natives fair shake and such...

Bio: Donald was born to two fiercely frontier American parents. They moved in from far away, settled in remote areas, and so raised no attention when they died in a freak windmill accident. The only one who knew, in fact, was their maidservant Ximena, who took the opportunity to take over the small plot of land and the frontiersmen's only child, named simply "Donald." Ximena fabricated a background that would legitimize her claim without arousing suspicion, notably that she was handed the territory personally by the king of Spain (which, at the time she claimed, was occupied by the French).

Growing up, Donald was equally as disgusted with the Americans encroaching on his property as he was with Santa Anna's Mexican thugs ransacking his small ranch whenever they passed by. Because Ximena had, as she put it, a personal relationship with the royal family, Donald loved to hear the stories of the king and queen, especially of the beautiful princess (sidenote: there was no Spanish princess during his childhood). He promised Ximena that he would reinstate royal authority over Texas. Ximena was a little nervous but, thinking Donald incapable of the task, went along with it.

The final straw came when Texas militia and Mexican soldiers had a scuffle outside his ranch. They broke down the wall surrounding Donald's pasture, freeing its cattle, which would never return. Donald swore that he would make Mexico and the United States pay for his wall, assembling what little he had left into a knight's armor and embarking on a Reconquista!

RP sample: https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=31&t=485998&p=37250910&hilit=werakoya#p37250910.

Leave here: Hang'em

[Talchyon]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Melvin Conrad
-snip-

RP sample: your. fucking. mom.

Leave here: Hang'em
^^I made it big because fuck you


Work In Progress, probably finished by tomorrow.

I like this so far. But, seriously, what did I do to deserve your comments? And about my mom too? What did she do? Just, take them out and don't insult the OP or his family in the future.

---

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Donald Coy-ote
-snip-

Wow. Didn't expect a Cervantes-type character. He'll definitely fit in with this eclectic bunch.

Don Coy-ote is ACCEPTED. Welcome to Grand Theft Horse!

[American Pere Housh]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Donald Coy-ote
Job: Rancher
Age: 40
Sex: Male
Appearance:

(Image)

Skills: He can herd cattle rather well. He's well-read, and he can joust.

Stuff: A very thin flagpole refit to be a lance, the flag for said flagpole refit to be a cape, a workhorse refit to be a warhorse, a mining pan refit to be a buckler, a farmhand refit to be a squire (hey, anything to get off work).

Goals: Reclaim Texas for the rightful owners!... What? No, not Mexico. ESPAÑA! And something something give the Pueblo natives fair shake and such...

Bio: Donald was born to two fiercely frontier American parents. They moved in from far away, settled in remote areas, and so raised no attention when they died in a freak windmill accident. The only one who knew, in fact, was their maidservant Ximena, who took the opportunity to take over the small plot of land and the frontiersmen's only child, named simply "Donald." Ximena fabricated a background that would legitimize her claim without arousing suspicion, notably that she was handed the territory personally by the king of Spain (which, at the time she claimed, was occupied by the French).

Growing up, Donald was equally as disgusted with the Americans encroaching on his property as he was with Santa Anna's Mexican thugs ransacking his small ranch whenever they passed by. Because Ximena had, as she put it, a personal relationship with the royal family, Donald loved to hear the stories of the king and queen, especially of the beautiful princess (sidenote: there was no Spanish princess during his childhood). He promised Ximena that he would reinstate royal authority over Texas. Ximena was a little nervous but, thinking Donald incapable of the task, went along with it.

The final straw came when Texas militia and Mexican soldiers had a scuffle outside his ranch. They broke down the wall surrounding Donald's pasture, freeing its cattle, which would never return. Donald swore that he would make Mexico and the United States pay for his wall, assembling what little he had left into a knight's armor and embarking on a Reconquista!

RP sample: https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=31&t=485998&p=37250910&hilit=werakoya#p37250910.

Leave here: Hang'em

A traitor I see, just if you try any rebellion then I will call the United States Army to come kick your ass.

[Voxija]

I have a new, hopefully ludicrous, idea for a character.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Doc Festy
Job: snake oil salesman medicine show man.
Age: 28
Sex: male
Appearance:

Skills: tricking people, promoting his self-image, and getting out of town before his marks realize they're duped.

Stuff: a wagon full of all matter of tonics, "miracle elixirs", kickapoo cures, and ad-hoc medical supplies.

Goals: Become rich by swindling frontier towns.

Bio: Doc Festy was born Henry Festy in Boston. He grew up in a poor family with eight brothers. After seeing an "Irish need not apply" sign in every store he wanted a job at, Festy decided to go to the West, and grow up with the country. After failures at bein' a cowboy, bein' a ranch hand, starting up a general store, and starting a cult, Doc Festy printed a doctorate and started a medicine show.

With two of his brothers, Henry Festy roamed the plains, always sellin' his kickapoo cures and tonics in frontier towns, and headin' out before the townspeople realized they were more sick than before Doc Festy came. His favorite tactics involved picking a volunteer from the audience to test his tonics, but of course the volunteers were his brothers.

Round near Indian Territory, Doc Festy's brothers abandoned him. John Festy because he was tired of just being Henry's pardner, and Tom Festy because he'd fallen in love. Doc Festy continued on his own south into Texas. Now he's just coming up on East Zilch, ready to fool this town of 500 people.

RP sample: I'm sure you don't need another one.

Leave here: Hang'em

[Stollberg-Stolberg]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application


Name: Daniel von Gerk
Job: Clock Maker
Age: 41
Sex: Male.
Appearance:

Skills: Repairing Small Stuff, Cooking, Speaking/Writing/Reading German/Saxon and Dutch, Strategizing,

Stuff: Pocketwatch. Tweezers. Reading Glasses. Pencil and Paper. compass. "Steigerstock". Silver Bell.
Goals: Creating the first affordable Wrist Watch.

Bio: Daniel von Gerk was born in Saxony, in the Erzgebirge in the town of Stollberg. Was raised in a family of Goldsmith`s , Navigators and Watch Makers and attendet the "Carl von Bach" College in Stollberg and finished with good grades. He started to work in his parents Goldsmith shop, and soon got interested with pocket watches and started to attract the Bourgeoisie with broken Watches. But he wasn´t a perfect salesman often giving discounts so that the people will come back.

When he was 23 he imigrated to Providence Rhode Island, he started to get interested in Rhode Island and the West. After he saw an flyer which prompt people to go to the West, his interests in the West became bigger and bigger. After he slipped on the soil of the city he had chronic Backpains which hindered his ability to work with heavy things. After he arrived he started to buildt an shop for his products, the sales weren´t bad but were not perfect. But he keeps up his motivation for another day.

RP sample: "After the Townspeople complained about the broken Clocktower Daniel needed to go into the mechanic part of the clock he started to look for the Issue... Ah there it is.: he said. Indeed there was an rusted Cogwork, but he didn´t have the right type, that means that he would need to order one right away. In the meantime he would need to be the clock, and ring his small Bell every hour, sleepless nights were right ahead..."

[Pax Nerdvana]

I'll try to post tomorrow.

[Talchyon]

I have a new, hopefully ludicrous, idea for a character.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Doc Festy
-snip-

I like him. Especially since this character can give a healthy competition and rivalry to the existing town doctor.

Doc Festy is ACCEPTED! Welcome (again) to Grand Theft Horse!

---

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Daniel von Gerk

A clockmaker without the needed supplies? Sounds like a great idea. Looking forward to seeing what you do with him.

Daniel von Gerk is ACCEPTED! Welcome to Grand Theft Horse!

[Castelia]

Finally managed a post! Yay!

Oh no, now we have a big scary man wearing a mask approaching the caravan! How will the others react?!

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

Finally managed a post! Yay!

Oh no, now we have a big scary man wearing a mask approaching the caravan! How will the others react?!

In the most Karen way possible.

[American Pere Housh]

Finally managed a post! Yay!

Oh no, now we have a big scary man wearing a mask approaching the caravan! How will the others react?!

I would pull my revolver out and warn you to back away.

Waz us Cas?

[Ameriganastan]

Right, this is what I was forgetting to post in. I should get on that.

[Danceria]

Finally managed a post! Yay!

Oh no, now we have a big scary man wearing a mask approaching the caravan! How will the others react?!

Cast Fist?

[Stollberg-Stolberg]

Finally managed a post! Yay!

Oh no, now we have a big scary man wearing a mask approaching the caravan! How will the others react?!

With lots of Satire and a sprinkle of Apathy, making bad jokes goes a long way.
When this will fail I will pull my Pepperbox with 21 Barrels [Do not fret in the early 1850´s an Belgian Gunmaker made one with 24 barrels and it looked like this].

[Solarampa]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: (Unknown) Nickname is the Arizona Ranger
Job: Cowboy/ Bandit Killer
Age: Unknown. Looks to be aroud lare 30's/early40's
Sex: Male
Appearance: (Images preferred, but descriptions are welcome too)

[img](YOUR%20URL%20LINK%20HERE)[/img]

Face is semi sqaured with no emotion in his eyes. He is around 6'1 feet tall and shoe size is a 14. No freckles, blemishes, or scars on his face .His weapon is a Colt 1851 Navy Revolver. He has a small limp on his right leg, but it doesn't affect him that much. He really is a normal looking oerson with no outstanding qualities. The only thing that akes him different is his all black clothing. He calls his Colt 1851 Navy Revolver a Big Iron
Skills: Amazing with a revolver. Extremely acrruate with the Big Iron on his hip. Smart, fast, strong. Pretty good on a horse

Stuff: He doesn't carry much only his Big Iron, 200 U.S dollars, a canteen, has a horse so he keeps his food in there.

Goals: Earn some money so he can get someone to repair his Big Iron, kill as many bandits as possible, and to make a decent reputation about himself so bandits can fear him.

Bio: The Arizona Ranger's history has been shrouded in mystery. People only know that he took down the infamous bandit Texas Red and that nobody has survived a shoot-out against him. Nobdy knows of his parent and if he has any siblings. He is a man of mystery and will probably always be> (Sorry that it isn't one paragraph he is a man of mystery so yeah.)

RP sample: [url](YOUR LINK HERE)[/url]. I remember the day Texas Red finally fell. A town gripped under bandit rule and no hope for survival. That's until i came along. It was eerily silent with the patrons at the bar eating and drinking quietly. I slid over to some man nervously looking over his shoulder as if something was going to snatch him and take him away from everything he loved. I asked him what was wrong and he told me a debt was due to the bandits. Some idiotic drunken bandit heard our conversation and said," Hey you, yeah you, don't give him money. You give me money, you are new around... here yeah $40 now." I told him no and he pulled out a revolver but with his drunkenness he shot his other bandit buddy in the face killing him. I would draw out my big iron and fire back killing him. I would give the money they had to the patrons and get directions to Texas Red's Hideout.
When he reached the hideout he said he needed to speak to Texas Red the guards let him in and the Ranger challenged him to a duel. When it turned hugh-noon the shoot-out commenced and almost instantly Texas Red was dead. most of the bandits ran, but the few remaining tried to fight the Ranger and died. The town rejoiced as everyone celebrated with a few pints of Nashes Fancy High-Quality 20-year aged Apple Juice.
Leave here: Hang'em

[Danubian Peoples]

Hey, still here Talc, I think. Stuff has been getting quite complicated on my end as of late, so, apologies for my absence during these days. I'll try to get back into the RP in a somewhat timely manner.

[Talchyon]

Finally managed a post! Yay!

Oh no, now we have a big scary man wearing a mask approaching the caravan! How will the others react?!

With lots of Satire and a sprinkle of Apathy, making bad jokes goes a long way.
When this will fail I will pull my Pepperbox with 21 Barrels [Do not fret in the early 1850´s an Belgian Gunmaker made one with 24 barrels and it looked like this].

Dang. I give permission for your character (or any other) to possess this gun.

---

Hey, still here Talc, I think. Stuff has been getting quite complicated on my end as of late, so, apologies for my absence during these days. I'll try to get back into the RP in a somewhat timely manner.

Forgiveness! No problem. Sometimes sleepy Old West towns are that way for a reason. Get back in whenever you wish.

---

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: (Unknown) Nickname is the Arizona Ranger
-snip-
Stuff: He doesn't carry much only his Big Iron, 200 U.S dollars, a canteen, has a horse so he keeps his food in there.

-snip-

I think the character looks fine. Please feel free to develop his backstory as the RP goes along. There are a few cleanup things in the app (taking out parentheses, etc, or URL link coding you're not using). And since I like reading things humorously, I'm hoping that you meant to say in the above that your character literally keeps his food IN his horse, so he's always having to reach inside to get it. If not, yeah, ok, that's fine too.

The Arizona Ranger is ACCEPTED! Welcome to Grand Theft Horse!

[American Pere Housh]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: (Unknown) Nickname is the Arizona Ranger
Job: Cowboy/ Bandit Killer
Age: Unknown. Looks to be aroud lare 30's/early40's
Sex: Male
Appearance: (Images preferred, but descriptions are welcome too)

([url=(YOUR%20URL%20LINK%20HERE)]Image[/url])

Face is semi sqaured with no emotion in his eyes. He is around 6'1 feet tall and shoe size is a 14. No freckles, blemishes, or scars on his face .His weapon is a Colt 1851 Navy Revolver. He has a small limp on his right leg, but it doesn't affect him that much. He really is a normal looking oerson with no outstanding qualities. The only thing that akes him different is his all black clothing. He calls his Colt 1851 Navy Revolver a Big Iron
Skills: Amazing with a revolver. Extremely acrruate with the Big Iron on his hip. Smart, fast, strong. Pretty good on a horse

Stuff: He doesn't carry much only his Big Iron, 200 U.S dollars, a canteen, has a horse so he keeps his food in there.

Goals: Earn some money so he can get someone to repair his Big Iron, kill as many bandits as possible, and to make a decent reputation about himself so bandits can fear him.

Bio: The Arizona Ranger's history has been shrouded in mystery. People only know that he took down the infamous bandit Texas Red and that nobody has survived a shoot-out against him. Nobdy knows of his parent and if he has any siblings. He is a man of mystery and will probably always be> (Sorry that it isn't one paragraph he is a man of mystery so yeah.)

RP sample: [url](YOUR LINK HERE)[/url]. I remember the day Texas Red finally fell. A town gripped under bandit rule and no hope for survival. That's until i came along. It was eerily silent with the patrons at the bar eating and drinking quietly. I slid over to some man nervously looking over his shoulder as if something was going to snatch him and take him away from everything he loved. I asked him what was wrong and he told me a debt was due to the bandits. Some idiotic drunken bandit heard our conversation and said," Hey you, yeah you, don't give him money. You give me money, you are new around... here yeah $40 now." I told him no and he pulled out a revolver but with his drunkenness he shot his other bandit buddy in the face killing him. I would draw out my big iron and fire back killing him. I would give the money they had to the patrons and get directions to Texas Red's Hideout.
When he reached the hideout he said he needed to speak to Texas Red the guards let him in and the Ranger challenged him to a duel. When it turned hugh-noon the shoot-out commenced and almost instantly Texas Red was dead. most of the bandits ran, but the few remaining tried to fight the Ranger and died. The town rejoiced as everyone celebrated with a few pints of Nashes Fancy High-Quality 20-year aged Apple Juice.
Leave here: Hang'em

Oh someone who thinks he is faster than ol Troy huh? Well we will see about that. I will be be keeping a close eye on you my friend.

[Solarampa]

Hopefully someone will get the reference to my character.

[Castelia]

Hopefully someone will get the reference to my character.

Not exactly a subtle reference since you did name your character's gun Big Iron.

[Stollberg-Stolberg]

An Idea it is, but an uncertain one.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application


Name: Sigmund von Schoppenhauer
Job: Professor [was at the State University of Bavaria]
Age: 67
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Skills: Geology, Paleontology, Biology, Physic´s, Chemistry and Geography

Stuff: Lots of Scientific Books, a Train Whistle, lots of maps, an Coffee Maker, Glasses, Pocket Watch and an Derringer

Goals: "I need to teach the people the Motto of: Science is Power-"

Bio: Sigmund was born in the year of 1790 in the City of Trogen, which lies in the the north of Bavaria. He was raised in an loving family inside the middle class, so he could learn the basics of Science. After he tried to be an pharmacist and failed, he started to enroll in the State University of Bavaria in Munich. He quickly rose up the ranks and teached Geography there, being one of the most liked Professors there he of course studied the Geography of the United States.

After he was assigned to teach in the West of the United States by the Bavarian Ministry of Foreign Affairs, he of course thought that he would be teaching in Los Angeles or Seattle but not in an small Town in the middle of nowhere. He made himself an home inside an abandoned home which he now made lively again, eventhough he hates the Heat... and Insects... and Horses, but after a lot of studying he has found out that the Land around East Zilch contains a lot of Copper and Zinc.

RP sample: Now here he was sent to an smal Town in the middle of nowhere, he thought he would be teaching in Seattle or in Los Angeles, but no what did the people at the Ministry think? It wasn´t like he needed some air change but he could just get it in his holidays,but whatever the people though they had an plan... at least he hoped that. At least he needed to make the best out of it, in 30 minutes until the carriage will stop in East Zilch. He though that his introduction must be simple but classical, just like the most people he met in the U.S. of A.

[Solarampa]

Hopefully someone will get the reference to my character.

Not exactly a subtle reference since you did name your character's gun Big Iron.

Exactly