Grand Theft Horse - (Old West Comedy / Dead / OOC)

[Talchyon]

Yessir. This is, am an' will be the OOC page, by gummit, yessir!
If'n you was lookin' for the IC page, ye'll find it that a'way.

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Welcome to Grand Theft Horse, an Old West comedy! This will be a complete sandbox RP (and has nothing in common with any video games of similar name). I have a loose plot in mind, but nothing overarching like what I've done with the Infinites. Let's just say, there may be Thrills! Chills! Spills! But again, there may not be. We'll just have to see. Feel free to do what you want, as long as it's funny and within the limits of the rules.

A few particulars:
Place: East Zilch, Texas. An enterprising town of around 500 people, a stop on the railroad, a stagecoach delivery point, near the border of Old Mexico and a few tribes of natives. Think of your pretty stereotypical Old West town and this is the spitting image. Anything you could find in an Old West town, you'll find here. Also, the general area around East Zilch is included in this place.

Date: August, 1857

Characters: Feel free to make human characters of all sorts. (Sorry, no aliens, magic, superpowers, undead zombies, vampires, fantasy races, or anything like that). Do you want to play a cowboy? Marshall? Government agent? Horse thief? Bartender? Schoolmarm? Lady of the night? Mayor intent on passing strict gun control laws? Piano player in the saloon? Town drunk? Clueless deputy? Moonshine brewer? Granny with a shotgun? The sky's the limit.

- As for NPCs, I have a few ideas in mind, but I might start making them when other characters come in. Just so I don't snag a character type someone else wants to play as.

- One thing with comedy characters, and that is characters that go against the common thought and common stereotype makes for an interesting cast. Can you think of an Old West stereotype and skewer it? If so, that could make a funny character.

Names of Characters: I highly highly encourage parodies and intentional name goofs of traditional Old West names, like Billy the Kid, Doc Holiday, Wyatt Earp, Annie Oakley, and so on. Even Old West actors, like John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. Heck, you could even make a character whose name skewers one of the more famous NFL Dallas Cowboys of today or years back: Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin, Emmitt Smith, Dak Prescott, Jerry Jones, Jimmie Johnson. If you do any of these, you will get me laughing.

Tech Level: As you might expect, the only tech acceptable is what you'd find in 1857. No steampunk please.

Rate of posting: Look, I'm not going to say I wouldn't love it if this took off like a stampede through the valley. But, if it doesn't, it doesn't. As long as you're willing to post when you can, that's good with me. Even if it's like once a week.

RP Experience: We take all types, as long as you're willing to participate.

Length of posts: I'd prefer no one- or two-liners. Beyond that? Whatever.

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HOW TO WRITE COMEDY FOR RPs

Hey guys. Talchyon here. This here is advice given for comedy writers. You may have noticed that comedy RPs on NS is a special category. Everyone loves to laugh, but many don’t feel able or competent to get others to laugh. And that’s where this comes in. I can’t promise that if you follow these simple, easy steps, then you will become the next comic genius. But what I can promise is that writing comedy is never hurt by taking suggestions like this.

Disclaimer - There are some clips to funny things, movies, shows, etc. that I laugh at. I own none of the rights to these, and give all credit to those who produced them, acted in them, and are directly responsible for them, etc., etc.

A few modest suggestions.

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1. The best way to get others to laugh is to promise to pay them. I mean, since we’re all aware of how helpful money is, then money talks. And if you pay people enough, I’m sure they’d be glad to laugh. You can start by paying me. Depending on how much you deposit in my bank account, I will give anything from a chuckle and a humorous snort all the way up to laughing hysterically at what you tell me to.
   
   But… failing that, and since most of us are not that wealthy to begin with, we’ll have to come up with a different way.
   
   And perhaps that’s why the real first suggestion is MISDIRECTION. Did you notice how I began by saying, “A few modest suggestions” and then leapt into something completely ridiculous? Comedy works well like that. Lead your audience along a way where they think they’re going to end up, and then, BOOM-shaka-laka. Change where they end up.
   
   We also see this with movies. Here’s a clip from Galaxy Quest Um turn turn I said turn Turn TURN
   
   In this scene, the actors of the tv show Galaxy Quest have been brought to a real-life version of their tv starship. When Laredo is asked to drive, he does so in surprise. At first the music starts heroic. All of the proud aliens want to witness this historic event and are permitted to come onto the bridge. The Galaxy Quest theme plays. Everything couldn’t be better… except, Laredo’s an actor, not a spaceship pilot. Check out Tim Allen’s posturing from 2:22-26. Because of how close Laredo gets the ship to the starport, Tim is leaning, further and further each time, hoping that his posture will somehow prevent the ship from scraping its sides.
   
   Because you were expecting heroism and instead you got incompetence, that’s pretty funny.
   

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2. Take something familiar, and use it in an unexpected way.
   
   This is partly along the lines of misdirection. Only this time, you’re playing with expected conventions. Some phrase that is well-known, perhaps. Take a fragment of a nursery rhyme. Or a famous line from a well-known commercial or show. Something people get automatically, that lurks somewhere between the subconscious and the more conscious.
   
   And then, use this familiar phrase, custom, expectation - in an unexpected way.
   
   For example, check out these clips from the tv show Whose Line is it Anyway. In each of these, Colin Mochrie is a newscaster giving a funny news report. Colin first begins with a funny name, using a stock phrase or you’d be familiar with, then turning it into his name. Then, Colin begins with “Our Top Story.” Here he excels at taking stock, common phrases, twisting them in some way (sometimes by one syllable), and making up a news story about it that ends up skewering the familiar. It’s funny because it uses something familiar in a very unfamiliar setting.
   
   Our Top Stories
   

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3. Stay in character.
   
   Each person is different. Each character in a comedy RP is also different. That means, whenever anything happens, from something normal (e.g., the characters go downtown) to something unusual (a terrorist shows up and threatens to blow the characters up), each person reacts differently.
   
   So know your character. What makes them tick? How does your character see the world? Know this, and be true to how your character thinks. That means your character may not be scared at the terrorist threat, or maybe they’ll be peeing in their pants scared. Or maybe they’re related to the terrorist. Comedy can usually ensue when you know your character.
   
   Example: Here is a stand-up comic routine from way back, from Bill Cosby. But, it involves two different characters, and both stay true to who they are. The interaction makes it funny. (Plus, it’s short, so worth a listen). Still funny after so long.
   
   Bill Cosby routine from back in the day
   

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4. Running Gags
   
   A joke or funny circumstance that repeats, again, and again, and again, is actually not tiresome. Not always. Yes, there are times when someone tries something and it falls flat. To repeat that act is not only tedious, but frustrating to a reader. It’s like, “Just sit down already and take care of (insert tedious attempt at running gag here), and get on with it!”
   
   However, in the right circumstances, a repeating circumstance, inside reference, or turn of a phrase can be an effective running gag. A running gag, by definition, is returned to several times throughout the course of a series. It’s humor in the long-term sense.
   
   The classic example of a running gag is the character Wilson on the tv show, Home Improvement. Each time Wilson the neighbor came on, most of his face was always hidden. As the series went on, the writers came up with more unusual ways for Wilson’s face to be hidden (and not just the fact that he was standing behind the tall-ish fence).
   
   As another example, a little more close to home, in the NS RP The Infinites, each RP began on a Thursday night. Thursday was when the local once-a-week newspaper came out, and so there were stories that related somewhat to the plot that came out. Likewise, Thursday night is when the Minnesota Infinites had their weekly meetings. Over the course of the series and its multiple arcs, it always began the same. With the newspaper, and the Infinites meeting. It had its own structure (including saying the Infinites’ Pledge and ending with snacks). And always, at the end of the meeting, the leader of the Alcoholics’ Anonymous support group that met next door in the town hall had important plot information for the heroes.
   
   Running gags come in all forms, and if done right, the continuity leads to even funnier things.

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The Code of the West (Rules, Law, an' Order)

1. I am the marshall in these here parts, and my word is law. Rascals and varmints who break the law will pay the price.
2. If I get any Co-OPs, they are my deputies. Listen to them accordingly.
3. Anyone caught brawlin' in the OOC page will first be warned to stop, then they get a second more serious warning, then they get the boot.
4. As the marshall of this OOC page, I am a fantastic shot, especially at folks that aren't moving. (Which is to say, if you want to keep your character from getting killed off, be sure to post).
5. That said, I also can recognize that an hombre may need a siesta every now 'n then. So I won't shoot at people who are resting but are gonna wake back up eventually. And I as the marshall can tell the difference...
6. Keep it clean, PG-13. Or you will be sent packin' by the mods.
7. No godmodding, metagaming, etc., unless you get permission because it's funny.
8. No killing of Player characters (or named NPCs) without the other player's express permission. I don't want a psychotic rampage here.
9. For cryin' out loud, you only get at max 3 characters. Any more than that, and people will think you aren't right in the head.


Keep that code in mind, and you should be fine.

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NOW FOR SOME APPS - see inside (spoiler) for details

Code: Select all

(Delete parentheses and everything in them when you're done)
[box][align=center][size=120][color=#404040][b][i]GRAND THEFT HORSE application[/i][/b][/color][/size][/align][/box]

[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Job:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Sex:[/b]
[b]Appearance:[/b] (Images preferred, but descriptions are welcome too) [floatright][img](YOUR URL LINK HERE)[/img][/floatright]

[b]Skills:[/b]

[b]Stuff:[/b]

[b]Goals:[/b]

[b]Bio:[/b] (A paragraph at least)

[b]RP sample:[/b] [url](YOUR LINK HERE)[/url].  (If you have not participated in RPs before, then just write up a paragraph or 2 about what your character did recently when he or she heard that bandits were coming to town soon.  Try to make it funny.).

[size=10]Leave here: Hang'em[/size]


[Talchyon]

The Roster

• Beaux Lagged - A French fur trapper who dresses all in leather, but doesn't belong to a biker gang. Somehow, he never seems to break a sweat in the Texas heat. (Played by Talchyon)
• Buckaroo Bunjin - Also called "Buck". A cowhand's cowhand. (Played by Talchyon)
• Tater Frye - Partner and friend of Buck. Honest as the day in June in northern Alaska is long. (Played by Talchyon)
• Karen von Stoot - The wife of the postmaster, and the reader of every letter, postcard, and mail order magazine that comes through East Zilch. With an attitude, too! (Played by Western Fardelshufflestein)
• Billy with the Kid - An old, inept criminal with a goat. In many ways, he fits right in with the locals. (Played by Danubian Peoples)
• John Joseph Jones - The only theology degree he ever achieved came from the seminary at Peote. (Played by Danubian Peoples)
• Yang Guo - The outlaw! Not Josey Wales, but rather a Chinese immigrant with some linguistic deficiencies and bad luck. For some reason he doesn't like the Texas rangers (not these guys). (Played by Barapam)
• "Blondie," aka, "Like, I don't remember my name, mister!" - Upon meeting her, all of the men in town come to the same thought: "Homina homina homina," as they try to pick their jaws off the floor. Somehow, all of the women don't have that same thought, and instead are more jealous for some reason. (Played by Barapam)
• Sarah Stein - Proud owner of the Stein Saloon, Sarah keeps the throats of East Zilch from getting dry. We'll see if her humor is dry or not. (Played by Voxija)
• Doc Festy - "Step right up and get your sugar pills, hair tonic, seltzer water and any other thing he can scrounge up that will cure your cholera, just as this man with the wagon says." (Played by Voxija)
• Don Coy-ote - That guy ain't right in the head. Tilts at windmills... Watch that flagpole he uses as a makeshift lance. (Played by Zjaum)
• Daniel von Gerk - Clockmaker, clockmaker, make me a watch! Don't have supplies? Just use a swatch... or your hands... or whatever odd thing you find... (Played by Stollberg-Stolberg)
• Prof. Sigmund von Schoppenhauer - The local egghead brainiac, transplanted German college professor. Expert in Geology, Chemistry, Physics, Biology, Paleontology, and "Blowing Train Whistles". (Played by Stollberg-Stolberg)
• The Arizona Ranger - International, rather, national, no more like, local man of mystery. So mysterious he doesn't even know his name or backstory. But apparently a good shot with a six shooter.. (Played by Solarampa)
• Abraham Ford 'Devil-Eyed' Booth - He looks tough. Is he? This deputy has eyes on advancement and also writes some pretty horrible poems. Can act, though. (Played by Islamic Republic e Jariri)
• Ozane Gaspard - Every good Western needs a horse thief. Ozane may not be the brightest man in town. More like, it's a definite fact that Ozane is far from being the brightest man in town. However, what he lacks in brainpower, he makes up for in playing his accordion. (Played by Louisianan)
• Clara Everglow, though in disguise as Cliff Norwood - A steel company heiress, who decided to try cross-dressing and escaped out here to the Old West where no one suspects he might actually be a she. (Played by Daves Computer)
• Joe "Blackeye" Trapmann - A thief. A no good, dirty rotten, cowlicked, underhanded taker of other people's goods and possessions. With skills like this, he should consider running for governor! (Played by Bolslania)
• Shi Xun - A ravishing exotic beautiful homeless person with mad crazy martial arts skills. (Played by Speyland)

East Zilch cemetery - filled with characters who didn't post
Matthieu De Travaux - A cautious, withdrawn, newcomer gentleman French doctor now trying to build a hospital on the frontier. Out of this lot. That's ok. We can find plenty of leeches to put on wounds and a decent saw to amputate limbs as needed. (Played by Democratic Republic of Eiria)
Pale Potato - You probably never saw a red-haired white Indian before him. Comes with his own, permanently attached, hoofprint on his forehead! (Played by Ameriganastan)
Juan Swayne - Because every western needs a villain. (Played by The republic ofTexas and northern Mexico)
John Westwood - If you found an old coot of a prospector looking for gold in Texas in the 1850s, you might think he was lost. That's ok. All the psychiatrists who have met him think that too. (Played by Pax Nerdvana)
Johan Zimmermann - You've always heard that the West was built, but you never realized carpenters were involved in building it. (Played by Pax Nerdvana)
Djingles - Part time bodyguard, part time clown, assumed to be a dastardly villain. This guy has something for everyone. (Played by Castelia)
Charlotte Ettolrahc - The new schoolmarm in town, Miss Ettolrahc fills the minds of the young with knowledge, and the hearts of the men with desire. The last schoolmarm died under mysterious circumstances before she started. Orange woman bad? (Played by Kallidrus)
Troy Eichmann - a U.S. Marshall in town. Quick with a gun but long time plans involve the 19th century equivalent of dating apps. (Played by American Pere Housh)
Phillip “Pip” Lei Redpan - Classic character story of a native boy who gets found by Chinese immigrants, grows up, wants to both study law and beat up on people, gets beaten up, grows to be the trilingual silent type. Oh yeah, and a guy raised by Easterners, who moved East to wind up in East Zilch. (Played by Danceria)


NPCs

-Mayor Jeremiah Slick. The Machiavellian's ideal in small town Texas.
-Sheriff Lawson "Law" Norder. Both a firm upholder of the Law as well as being a softie at heart. Not the most competent at his job.
-Rev. Horatio Borkmann - A scholarly preacher at East Zilch Church. Great at parsing Latin. Not so great at communicating.

[Talchyon]

THIS POST HERE IS RESERVED FOR GIVING EXAMPLES OF POSTS I THE OP FIND HILARIOUS

Make me laugh, guys...

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• We've had a lot of great posts to start the RP.
  This one made this impromptu list because of the hilarious scribbled in '0' on the second wanted sign."
  -
• There have been lots of funny posts in between these. I am singling this one out because the quack medical tonic salesman, sometimes called a 'snake oil peddler' actually tries to sell snake oil to a shaman! And it's fake! Great stuff
  -
• Again, so many posts that I can't post all the funny ones. But I liked this one because of the old coot with the goat and his reaction at the way people in the town saw him. Especially that he was off his rails. Keep it coming guys!

[Talchyon]

Sample app.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Beaux Lagged
Job: Fur Trader
Age: About 56, but he's long since forgotten his birthday (or age)
Sex: Male. Oui oui!
Appearance:

Skills: Trappin'. Shootin'. Cookin'. Ridin'. Skinnin'. Barterin'. Speaking with an outrageous accent!

Stuff: Shotgun. Black powder. Knife. Canned biscuits. About 25 hides he can scrounge up. 10 dollars in gold coins.

Goals: "Eet ees mah desahre to build a store fohr mah merchandise!"

Bio: Beaux Lagged was born in the wild, raised in the wild, and dadgummit, he's gonna die in the wild, too. He knows the ins and outs and nooks and crannies and grannies nannies in the whole area. Can't no one name a place he hasn't been in this area. Somehow, he's able to find all kinds of critters and skin 'em. He does have some quality leather, and is looking to become an even prouder capitalist by getting enough to buy his own hides store.

RP sample: Yeah, that's the good thing about being the OP...

Leave here: Hang'em

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name:

Karen von Stoot
She will speak to the manager mayor.

Job: Wife of East Zilch Postmaster Jimmy John von Stoot; local gunslinging Karen
Age: A Lady Does Not Reveal Her Age 34
Sex: Female
Appearance: Slender and blonde with an 1857 equivalent of a bob...ok, just curly blond hair that she either wears in a bun or lets down. She is often wearing a dress with boots, though you can guarantee she will always appear decent, except for when she is dressed like a cowgirl.

Skills: Doesn't back down from a fight, outspoken, can fire a gun, horseback riding, debating, spying

Stuff: Two pistols that she hands from her belt, pants and a cowboy? girl? hat (that she keeps stashed), an attitude

Goals: Speak to the mayor about every single thing she sees as a problem in East Zilch; if the going gets tough, she is not afraid to fire a gun

Bio: She is not simply the Karen of East Zilch; she is the Karen of the Old West. This gun-slinging, problem-seeking broad is the wife of East Zilch's postmaster, who gets three to four letters on a good week and is allegedly, but almost certainly, a bandit. Karen von Stoot will stop at nothing to root out even the tiniest problem, be it a shortage of feed for her family's two horses or a woman showing up to church with a skirt that is possibly an inch too short. If someone is to cross her, well, she will demand to speak to that person's boss, or, if all else fails the town sheriff or mayor. It depends on who is less irritated with her at the moment.

Karen is definitely capable of defending her town from those greasy schmucks who think they can waltz into town and spread their no-good debauchery amongst the unassuming citizens, and she makes sure everyone knows it. Just because she cannot vote does not mean she won't make her voice hard, because she lets nothing get past her or the leaders of the town.

Her four children, Deck (11), Dame (8), Dinny (5), and Dory (2), are known not for their individual character but more for who their parents totally, definitely are. You see, being a postmaster means that you get to see everybody's mail, and it also means you (theoretically) work for the United States, and, by the Transitive Property of Government Workers, this means Karen and Jimmy John should have authority in this here town. But, you see, as much as Karen wishes they did, they don't. And Jimmy John runs a little side business known as highway robbery. He has to make money and entertain himself somehow. Karen, of course, refuses to let this stop her--for, as some fear, she may one day speak to the ultimate mayor: President James Buchanan.

RP sample:

Almighty Halfdan

Ah, yes, a floating Doc Bur-Ock. Could things really get any weirder? Halfdan figured they couldn't. And Doc Bur-Ock surely knew enough French, or perhaps alien, to be something of a threat. But there was no way for Halfdan to determine if he did speak French.

Halfdan summoned his courage and tilted his head skyward. Yes, he could see the French-speaking alien in all its glory. It would not do him any good to use his powers and ask questions later; therefore, he needed to confront this alien verbally. He rubbed his hands together and squared his shoulders, French words swirling around in his mind....

"SACREBLEU!"

The alien's attention was not grabbed.

"EGALITE! CROISSANT! SACREBLEU! TOULOUSE!"

Still nothing.

This really frustrated Halfdan; he had just uttered the Ultimate French Password. This roughly translated to, KILLER! I will find you, because I am a servant of the nation, because justice is justice, and because France is France.

(Actually, it didn't really translate to much. But Halfdan thought it did, and he wasn't aware that it was a quote from The Pink Panther.)

"Obviously," Halfdan mumbled to himself, "this alien does not speak French. Which means it must be fluent in...POLISH!"

Leave here: Hang'em

[Talchyon]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Karen von Stoot
-snip-

Karen is ACCEPTED! Welcome to Grand Theft Horse! Good to see you, man. We still got some funny to do together.

[Talchyon]

And the roster is up. More characters to come. Started work on the IC. This is gonna be fun.

[Democratic Republic of Eiria]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Matthieu De Travaux
Job:Doctor/Herbalist
Age:32
Sex:Male
Appearance: Dirty Blonde hair, Gray Eyes, Fair skin with a slight olive tint, a scar above his right eye sometimes obscured by reading bifocals. Often seen in regular clothes or the 1857 equivalent of doctor's apparel.

Skills: Physician, Herbalist, Wisecracker and fluent debater. Fluent in French and English. Perceptive, Cautious, Creative, and Kind.

Stuff: Doctor's clothes, a collection of books, a bunch of dried herbs and seeds, medical equipment, Journals, some coins, and a couple bottles of nice wine.

Goals: To bring 'Modern' medicine to the people of East Zilch, to teach the folks living in East Zilch as much as he can pass on.

Bio: One of the newcomers to East Zilch, Matthieu De Travaux has yet to get used to the country life. Born to a French immigrant father and a Aristocrat mother, Matthieu was brought up as a gentleman and scholar. He graduated medical school and worked a few jobs at various hospitals before packing up and heading for the frontier, intent on opening a hospital of his own.

His appearance initially made the townsfolk of East Zilch suspicious, but since they lacked a proper doctor of their own, they are slowly opening up to him. His good bedside manner, as well as his polite and cordial demeanor(and his appreciation for good alcohol) have increased his reputation. He is known to be overly cautious and hesitant, as well as withdrawn and often times silent. However, he's witty, and if you get to know him well enough, is glad to crack a joke or listen to your problems. He's a helper at heart, quick when anyone's suffering, and frequently shares facts, tips, and words in French to anyone who would listen.

Personally, he's a little withdrawn, drawing up a façade that makes it hard for people to get to know him. He also seems uninterested in the company of East Zilch's women (Much to the interest of the Town gossips). He's looking for a fellow doctor or nurse to help him with the town's injuries and ailments, and is willing to train one if he had to. He writes everything down in a collection of journals he holds dear and protects like they are a sacred treasure(to the dismay of aforementioned town gossips). He's also very non-confrontational, most of his arguments being debates on politics or science rather than fights. And though he is new, he is dedicated to being the doctor this small town of East Zilch needs.

RP sample:(I have Other RPs, however most of them need a lot of context to make sense, so...)

Matthieu De Travaux stumbled out of the East Zilch saloon, reading bifocals askew on his face and hands wet with spilled whiskey. Much to the town gossip's dismay and the bartenders relief, he was both a lightweight and a civil drunk. People watched him stumble past, some whispering or chuckling to themselves. I'll never live this one down, He thought, tripping on a loose rock only to pick himself back up again.

The bar he had just left behind was in as much disarray as Matthieu was, and he 'Walked' as quickly as he could towards the place he had been calling home for an amount of time that drunk him couldn't quite remember. Some saloon regular kept challenging him to a drinking contest, and in a moment of short-sighted courage, he said yes. That 'Contest' ended with stools and whiskey everywhere, French curse words carved into the walls, and one very angry bartender. Well, you can't always win 'em all, He thought, before proceeding to pass out in the grass ten feet from his living space.

Leave here: Hang'em

[The republic ofTexas and northern Mexico]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Juan swayne
Job: hired gun
Age: 26
Sex: male
Appearance: old billy the kid[/floatright]

Skills: shooting, killing, drinking, gambling, horseback riding

Stuff: revolver, horse, tack and saddle, whisky bottle, lasso, deck of cards

Goals: to kill everyone his boss wants him to, to make as much money as possible and to steal 5000 head of longhorn

Bio: born on April 1st 1831 he quickly became a good shot, often shooting the heads off of squirrels. When he was 15 years old he ran away from home and started to fend for himself. When he was 20 years old he had joined the army and was given a dis-honorable discharge after 2 weeks.

RP sample: riding his horse out of town with the Marshall chasing after him he thought of the last few weeks, so much had happened that he could barely think. First there had been the gold strike and he had been called into town to protect it. Which had been nice except for the fact that it had resulted in him being hung... again. But he had heard about a bit of trouble in a little town so he decided to see if there will be anyone who would hire him. He figured there would be since he became extremely blood thirsty after his discharge from the army. He remembered fondly when he fell into a den of rattlesnakes and when the governor of Nuevo León has caught him in his daughters closet. But his favorite memory was when the Comanches attacked him and the people who passed him thought it was a Wild West show


Leave here: Hang'em

[Talchyon]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Matthieu De Travaux
-snip-

ACCEPTED! Welcome to Grand Theft Horse! Having a doctor around may prove helpful. Of course, given the state of medicine in 1857, it may not.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name:Juan swayne
-snip-

I'm going to put a pause on this character. Great name. Could use some more detail. For example, is he hired by anyone right now (e.g., does he have a "boss"?) Second, why is he so bloodthirsty? Third, there may be times your hired gun doesn't have a job, right? So what else is he looking to do other than kill people?

One other thing, and I'll be making this a new rule. No killing of Player characters (or named NPCs) without the other player's express permission. I don't want a psychotic rampage here.

Also, go back and clean up the app. You don't need to have everything in bold. All your answers can be normal font.

[Ameriganastan]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Pale Potato (Real name: Seamus Finnegan)
Job: Unemployed (Former railroad worker)
Age: 24
Sex: Male
Appearance: The stereotypical Irish look: Pale, red hair, green eyes, usually has a drink in hand. Stands a skinny 6'0. Has a hoof shaped mark on his forehead.

Skills: Handy with a pistol. Can drink anyone in Zilch under the table.

Stuff: His guns and the clothes on his back.

Goals: None really.

Bio: Seamus Finnegan was your typical low-rent spike driver on the railroad, working long days for little pay and getting drunk once the shift ended. And when he gets drunk, Seamus tends to accept dumb bets. Dumb bets like "Who can take a kick from a horse the best?" Seamus was the only volunteer. The next day, the nearby local native tribe would find a drunken Irishman with a hoof imprint in his head. Taking pity on him, they brought him in to recover. He recovered everything but his memory. And is now convinced he's a bonafide native. The proud Pale Potato.

RP sample: Yo.

Leave here: Hang'em

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

Who is the mayor of this here town?

[The republic ofTexas and northern Mexico]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Juan swayne
Job: hired gun
Age: 26
Sex: male
Appearance: old billy the kid[/floatright]

Skills:shooting, killing, drinking, gambling, horseback riding

Stuff:revolver, horse, tack and saddle, whisky bottle, lasso, deck of cards

Goals: to kill everyone his boss wants him to

Bio: born on April 1st 1831 he quickly became a good shot, often shooting the heads off of squirrels. When he was 15 years old he ran away from home and started to fend for himself. When he was 20 years old he had joined the army and was given a dis-honorable discharge after 2 weeks.

RP sample: riding his horse out of town with the Marshall chasing after him he thought of the last few weeks, so much had happened that he could barely think. First there had been the gold strike and he had been called into town to protect it. Which had been nice except for the fact that it had resulted in him being hung... again. But he had heard about a bit of trouble in a little town so he decided to see if there will be anyone who would hire him. He figured there would be since he became extremely blood thirsty after his discharge from the army


Leave here: Hang'em

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Matthieu De Travaux
-snip-

ACCEPTED! Welcome to Grand Theft Horse! Having a doctor around may prove helpful. Of course, given the state of medicine in 1857, it may not.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name:Juan swayne
-snip-

I'm going to put a pause on this character. Great name. Could use some more detail. For example, is he hired by anyone right now (e.g., does he have a "boss"?) Second, why is he so bloodthirsty? Third, there may be times your hired gun doesn't have a job, right? So what else is he looking to do other than kill people?

One other thing, and I'll be making this a new rule. No killing of Player characters (or named NPCs) without the other player's express permission. I don't want a psychotic rampage here.

Also, go back and clean up the app. You don't need to have everything in bold. All your answers can be normal font.

Fixed

[Talchyon]

Who is the mayor of this here town?

The mayor person hasn't been claimed yet. If no one takes it up, I'll make him an NPC.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Pale Potato (Real name: Seamus Finnegan)
-snip-

Nice. Pale Potato is ACCEPTED. Welcome to Grand Theft Horse!

(Isn't Seamus Finnegan the name of that minor character from Gryffindor in Harry Potter?)

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Juan swayne
-snip-

.

I'm going to deny this again for right now. He needs another goal besides killing people. And a few more things to make un-bold. And take out the [/floatright] that's hanging there.

Also, I'm not seeing the humor in this character (other than his name) so please explain why this character fits in this comedy. Because right now, I see a person who wants to go around on a homicidal spree which, I'm not saying can't be funny, but you're going to have to sell me.

[Ameriganastan]

(Isn't Seamus Finnegan the name of that minor character from Gryffindor in Harry Potter?)

...I thought there was something familiar about this name.

[Talchyon]

A few more apps.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Buckaroo Bunjin. ("Buck" is also acceptable to him) (Which, totally is not named after this movie / character, since, like, movies weren't even being made in 1857)
Job: Cowhand at the Lazy Bum Ranch
Age: 23
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Skills: Pistol and rifle shooting, horse riding, horse training, firebuilding, charming people, can read, can speak Spanish some, can understand a few words in some of the local native tongues, cattle driving, lasso skills, calving.

Stuff: Horse (named "Sue"); Lasso; Spurs; Saddle; Rifle; some stamps; a few nails; four dollars; has a few other assorted odds and ends at home, such as an ax for firewood, clothes. Shares a place with Tater.

Goals: Charm his way to getting things to eat, especially from old women. Meet the right girl, settle down, get enough money to buy his own ranch, just the plain ol' American Dream. Maybe read a book down the line. Stay friends with Tater for life.

Bio: Buckaroo Bunjin, or Buck for short, has long lived in the East Zilch area around livestock and horses. A good ol' boy who loves the outdoors, Buck never did figure out who his parents were. He was adopted by one of the hired men who worked at the Lazy Bum Ranch, and ever since he graduated from the 6th grade - a high achievement in his eyes - Buck has put his head down, worked hard, and always could find fun in a situation regardless.

RP sample: Again, OP privilege.

Leave here: Hang'em

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Tater Frye
Job: Cowhand at the Lazy Bum Ranch
Age: 23
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Skills: Lasso skills, calving, cattle driving, firebuilding, pistol and rifle shooting, hunting, fishing, some rudimentary first aid, he can read, and also has picked up budgeting. Don't ask me how.

Stuff: Horse (no name, but he rides well through the desert from what I hear); Lasso; Rifle; Pistols; saddle; five dollars; deck of cards at home; Bible; a fishing pole at home; a new pair of boots; spurs; chaffs; a few books at home; matches.

Goals: To do good at his job. To keep an eye on Buck, since he can be idealistic and naive at times. Tater wants to eventually prove himself capable of an advanced education, so may take effort to learn new things.

Bio: Tater Frye grew up on the Lazy Bum Ranch as well, and became fast friends with Buck. While Buck was dead set on working at the ranch and dropped out of school after sixth grade, Tater stayed on 'til 8th grade and since has regretted dropping out afterward. Down the line, he might like to get an education at a university. Maybe even teach! But, since those are somewhat unrealistic dreams, Tater does his job and keeps these thoughts to himself. An honest man, Tater wants to cause no problems or do anything illegal.

RP sample: Still OP privilege.

Leave here: Hang'em

[Pax Nerdvana]

Tag! I'll try to get an app up tomorrow.

[The GAmeTopians]

Hey Talc, been a while. Might throw my (ten gallon) hat in for this one.

[The republic ofTexas and northern Mexico]

Who is the mayor of this here town?

The mayor person hasn't been claimed yet. If no one takes it up, I'll make him an NPC.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Pale Potato (Real name: Seamus Finnegan)
-snip-

Nice. Pale Potato is ACCEPTED. Welcome to Grand Theft Horse!

(Isn't Seamus Finnegan the name of that minor character from Gryffindor in Harry Potter?)

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Juan swayne
-snip-

.

I'm going to deny this again for right now. He needs another goal besides killing people. And a few more things to make un-bold. And take out the [/floatright] that's hanging there.

Also, I'm not seeing the humor in this character (other than his name) so please explain why this character fits in this comedy. Because right now, I see a person who wants to go around on a homicidal spree which, I'm not saying can't be funny, but you're going to have to sell me.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Juan swayne
Job: hired gun
Age: 26
Sex: male
Appearance: old billy the kid

Skills: shooting, killing, drinking, gambling, horseback riding

Stuff: revolver, horse, tack and saddle, whisky bottle, lasso, deck of cards

Goals: to kill everyone his boss wants him to, to make as much money as possible and to steal 5000 head of longhorn

Bio: born on April 1st 1831 he quickly became a good shot, often shooting the heads off of squirrels. When he was 15 years old he ran away from home and started to fend for himself. When he was 20 years old he had joined the army and was given a dis-honorable discharge after 2 weeks.

RP sample: riding his horse out of town with the Marshall chasing after him he thought of the last few weeks, so much had happened that he could barely think. First there had been the gold strike and he had been called into town to protect it. Which had been nice except for the fact that it had resulted in him being hung... again. But he had heard about a bit of trouble in a little town so he decided to see if there will be anyone who would hire him. He figured there would be since he became extremely blood thirsty after his discharge from the army. He remembered fondly when he fell into a den of rattlesnakes and when the governor of Nuevo León has caught him in his daughters closet. But his favorite memory was when the Comanches attacked him and the people who passed him thought it was a Wild West show


Leave here: Hang'em

Fixed it again (sorry I have weird humor)

[Talchyon]

Tag! I'll try to get an app up tomorrow.

Excellent!

Hey Talc, been a while. Might throw my (ten gallon) hat in for this one.

Excellent! If you wish, you can go big gulp size and wear a 20 gallon hat.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Juan swayne
-snip-

Ok, with how you described things, I see the humor better. Juan Swayne is ACCEPTED. Welcome to Grand Theft Horse!

[Danubian Peoples]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Billy With the Kid, or Billy for short. Real name is unrevealed, perhaps even to himself.
Job: Local old dude and really, really terrible criminal.
Age: About 60 to 70-ish years of age.
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Billy with Jimmy, most likely during one of their 'daring heists.'

Skills: Annoying people when he's actually trying to rob them, telling tall tales few people believe, sitting menacingly on his front porch.. and that's about it, actually. He considers himself a master robber and claims to have the record to prove it, but that's probably because a crazy old dude who threatens people with a goat isn't the best source of information about himself. Considering his 'pet' Jimmy is alive and welll, he most likely also has some knowledge of animal husbandry.

Stuff: Billy's primary asset is Jimmy, the kid he has on him at all times. Next is his shabby blue coat, which has a lot of patched-up holes. Billy claims these to be bullet holes, but in actuality they're mostly holes left from Jimmy's jaws. In terms of monetary assets, he has the period equivalent to 5 bucks on a good day, which he squeezes out of the people who pity the dude after sticking them up with a young goat. He tends to blow it all on, supposedly unknown expenses (he really just loses it to Jimmy's appetite).

Goals: None in particular. He seems to be about as objectiveless (and some would say about as intelligent) as his caprine charge. He mostly spends his days around town, either sticking people up with the threat of using Jimmy as a weapon, or sitting on his front porch, surprsingly menacingly, goat in lap.

Bio: No one really knows where Billy With the Kid came from, and he's not been one to tell. Well he has, but the stories he claims about himself are so outlandish they are most likely false. What is known is that Billy showed up in East Zilch one day, Jimmy in tow. He moved into an unoccupied home, and proceded to set up shop as one of the local geezers. He also started to try and rob East Zilchers with Jimmy, holding him with his arms as if the kid were a gun. He's been mostly unsuccesful at his stick-ups (although he will say otherwise), but as a result, he was christened Billy With the Kid.

RP sample: I would say this is my best RP work so far. Since I want to demonstrate this character, I will be writing some paragraphs of him anyway.

"Bandits," said Billy. "Bandits, coming to East Zilch? I'll have 'em know this is my territory! This is my town, fellow criminals, and I ain't willin' to share it! Ain't that right Jimmy?" Jimmy merely bleats in response, but Billy takes this as approval. The two are seated on the front porch, with the latter sitting on the former's lap.

"Yeah, ain't that right indeed." Billy cups his hands around his mouth and begins to yell at the top of his lungs. "I am a master criminal, people of East Zilch! These 'bandits,' they've got nothing on me! Do you hear me? I am Billy With the Kid, East Zilch, and I am your master criminal! I, Billy With the Kid, have raided numerous locales in the most daring of heists, and you bandits are like petty ants to me. I fought in the Messican War and downed numerous men on the enemy side. I struck down numerous Indiuns with Jimmy here by my side. Keep out bandits, keep out because I was gifted by God the power to strike any one of you down.."

Billy would proceed to yell tall tales about himself like this, along with telling the bandits to stay away for a solid fifteen minutes until Jimmy decided to bleat at Billy again. "..I dueled the president, you sick bandits, and you better stay the f- you think I should stop? Well then, little friend, 'old Billy is going to stop hollerin." An exasperated "Finally" is heard from the distance as Billy quiets himself and returns to looking menacingly on his front porch.

Leave here: Hang'em

Here's my app, Talc. It's a spoof on the name 'Billy the Kid,' where Billy is a crazy old dude and the Kid is an actual juvenile goat. Hope it's cool.

[Talchyon]

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Billy With the Kid, or Billy for short. Real name is unrevealed, perhaps even to himself.
-snip-

Hey Danubian! The old gang's getting back together! Yeah, Billy looks great. He is ACCEPTED. Welcome to Grand Theft Horse!

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

That, Danubian Peoples, is pure gold. (I wonder how he'd feel about Postmaster and part-time highwayman Jimmy John von Stoot.)

[The GAmeTopians]

That, Danubian Peoples, is pure gold. (I wonder how he'd feel about Postmaster and part-time highwayman Jimmy John von Stoot.

I was tempted to make a postman myself

[Danubian Peoples]

That, Danubian Peoples, is pure gold. (I wonder how he'd feel about Postmaster and part-time highwayman Jimmy John von Stoot.

Jimmy (the Kid) might have eaten his mail once. As for Billy, he probably flings insults at the postmaster from his front porch, or maybe is especially rude and threatening when he sticks him up with Jimmy.

GRAND THEFT HORSE application

Name: Billy With the Kid, or Billy for short. Real name is unrevealed, perhaps even to himself.
-snip-

Hey Danubian! The old gang's getting back together! Yeah, Billy looks great. He is ACCEPTED. Welcome to Grand Theft Horse!

Nice! Hope we'll have some good times in this RP too!