The Infinites - Infinite Gauntlet (Comedy, Supers)- IC, Done

[Pax Nerdvana]

Jim Walker AKA Warstory
Jim Walker looked at Pragmatica with a mix of awe and shock that someone had those laws memorized. He didn't know that someone could do that without going crazy from all the legalese. He also thought they should check out that other car, the one that had rammed his truck. He said,"Hey Cap'n Calculator, what're we going to do about that other car? It could possibly be a threat, or we should see if they're hurt. Ya know, this reminds me of the time I had to pull a fellow chopper pilot out of a wreck. The chopper was burnin', and the guy was bleedin' badly, and his crew were dead. It was a real messy crash. It was a miracle the guy survived."

[Speyland]

Grandmaster Yuan
October 27, 2019
Xining, China

The Grandmaster have no place to live nor family, friends, or anyone. But he prefers to be alone because he doesn't want someone to ruin his plan or else they will call the police on him and he didn't want that. Since he have nothing else to do, the Grandmaster slept for the night in the minivan with no one watching. Moments later, two men who appears to be mail carriers got in the minivan that the Grandmaster was sleeping in and it started moving without him realizing.

[Talchyon]

Crash site
Doc Bur-Ock

Diet Cola was muddy and groggy getting up, but otherwise ok. Lump? That suicidal maniac didn't even have a scratch. His car had taken all the damage, which was saying something.

As for the grinning evil guy who seemed thrilled to have defeated the Infinites? He might have potential... Hmm...

Doc Bur-Ock walked over to Blank State and said, "You look like you were just as thrilled to have done that to the Infinites as we are thrilled to have things done against the Infinites. What say, we join forces? The enemy-of-my-enemy-being-my-friend sort of thing?"

[Speyland]

Grandmaster Yuan
November 2, 2019
Hong Kong

The Grandmaster felt a pain on his back as a result of sleeping in the van. He opened his right eye only to see two people getting closer to him. They were mail carriers. "No sleeping in the van!" One of the mail carriers said angrily as they have no idea how the Grandmaster got in the van until now. He slowly gets up as his whole body was in pain. He looks up to see shops, apartments and people being crowded together. "Is this Hong Kong?" The Grandmaster asked himself.

[Brancoveanic Transylvania]

Crash site
The Mite
Soon, a projection appeared in a nearby wall, a small cartoon-like being emerging from it as he scratched his head, clad in a 30s nightgown and cap, as well as what appeared to be a Betty Boop dakimakura.
"What's all the noise here!? I'm tryna-" He paused, seeing Doc and smirking. "Well, I'll be thrown into a river with my liver... Doc Bur-Ock, huh? Long time, no see, old guy?"

Inside the Infinitemobile
Noelle Noe-son
As the Korean-American woman, clad in a purple shirt, leather jacket and cap and tight jeans along with dress shoes and a gold chain necklace, tapped on her phone and looked over at the scene ahead, somewhat unaware of the situation as she had been asleep for a while. She may have been a tomboy and serious girl, but she wasn't excatly the brightest bulb either. Her stand, a spirit that appeared to be an angel with texture that made her look like a glass being with a galaxy inside her, was poking her face playfully.
"Got enough rest, hun? You missed us all nearly dying. Guess that's what gaming late does to ya, huh?" The stand teased, the girl grunting in turn.

[Talchyon]

Driving
Captain Calculator

As they headed north to finally go to the meteorite site (which, of course, will be important plot wise but he didn't know that at the time), the local expert in logistics piped up.

Pragmatica

With reasonable speed and unparalleled efficiency, Pragmatica took a piece of paper and made several careful, measured calculations as to the estimated cost of repairing Captain Calculator's van as a result of the actions of Blank State. As an eminently reasonable person, no detail could possibly pass her by without due notice, and she had seen the villain for who he was. However, it would have been foolhardy to directly engage in any fight, as the potential costs outweighed any benefit.

Also, she didn't care.

Instead she used the quick stop to take several photographs of the damage from multiple angles in order to file an insurance report at a later date, and was now carefully examining each picture to create the most accurate prediction possible. Thankfully the speed bump hadn't caused too much damage besides superficial scrapes, but she was concerned as to why the entire back half of the van appeared to only be attached with twine at the bottom. She would have to have a word with the local mechanic about this shoddy workmanship, naturally assuming that surely no one would be foolish enough to think using twine to fix extreme damage to their gas tank would be a good idea. This would not be the first time, nor the last, that she would somehow both over and underestimate the Minnesota Infinites at the same time. After a thorough examination of the evidence and her own recalling of the relevant insurance policies and governmental policies as it related to vehicular damage in the pursuit of justice, she was ready to present her facts to the car.

"Attention, everyone. It would appear that due to recent damages to the vehicle we are currently being transported in, we are now eligible for a federal grant as it pertains to Section J-7 of the "Powered Pursuit of Justice Act of 2013", which allows for superhero groups to be reimbursed for up to two million USD in the pursuit of justice. This vehicle is now federal evidence, and we must disembark immediately and continue to our location on foot. If we report this incident with the next 47 hours, 26 minutes, and 13 seconds, we could be eligible, based on the current market price of the average car of this model and condition, for nearly one hundred thousand USD in compensation for this villain attack on Infinite property. Additionally, given there are minors in the vehicle at the time, we could claim this as an educational field excursion and receive a further financial amount of nearly twice the aforementioned sum. Of course, one of the children would need to die, but based on past performance, I assume we don't need all of them,".

Calculator stifled a laugh. "I'm sorry, Pragmatica, that was almost right on. That is the law, alright... But the funny thing, is, that only works for registered superhero groups. You know. Guys like the Texas Infinites or those Ohio guys. Somehow the government has never accepted our application to be considered a real superhero group, and so we get bupkus. But it's a nice thought. One day, maybe!" He beamed as he daydreamed about the day when the Minnesota Infinites would actually be recognized by the government, or let's face it, anyone who wasn't criminally insane, as a real superhero group. That would not only be the crowning achievement of his life. It would also make his day, too.

But daydreaming was soon to end...

Jim Walker AKA Warstory
Jim Walker looked at Pragmatica with a mix of awe and shock that someone had those laws memorized. He didn't know that someone could do that without going crazy from all the legalese. He also thought they should check out that other car, the one that had rammed his truck. He said,"Hey Cap'n Calculator, what're we going to do about that other car? It could possibly be a threat, or we should see if they're hurt. Ya know, this reminds me of the time I had to pull a fellow chopper pilot out of a wreck. The chopper was burnin', and the guy was bleedin' badly, and his crew were dead. It was a real messy crash. It was a miracle the guy survived."

As the fog of Blank State's power wore off of Captain Calculator and he had his right mind back, he heard Warstory and was immediately filled with guilt. Not the kind of guilt one has when they commit a mortal sin or something. But more like the kind of guilt one has when one is on a diet and overeats a smidge too much at the local buffet restaurant.

"Alright. We'll go back. That's what Infinites should do. Sorry. I wasn't myself back there. My head felt kind of funny."

He turned the car around and headed back where they had come from.

Glitch

Inside the Infinitemobile
Noelle Noe-son
As the Korean-American woman, clad in a purple shirt, leather jacket and cap and tight jeans along with dress shoes and a gold chain necklace, tapped on her phone and looked over at the scene ahead, somewhat unaware of the situation as she had been asleep for a while. She may have been a tomboy and serious girl, but she wasn't excatly the brightest bulb either. Her stand, a spirit that appeared to be an angel with texture that made her look like a glass being with a galaxy inside her, was poking her face playfully.
"Got enough rest, hun? You missed us all nearly dying. Guess that's what gaming late does to ya, huh?" The stand teased, the girl grunting in turn.

Glitch just stared incoherently at the Stand, and said in his normal confused manner, "Like, dude, I like game late all the time, an' like, I never have any issues..."

---

Crash site
Doc Bur-Ock

It was his lucky day. The villains were about to increase in number, as soon as that grinning evil guy who clearly hated the Infinites offered to join them. And if this Blank State guy wouldn't, well, Doc Bur-Ock had that planned for as well. For within the breast pocket of his costume was a contract. A contract with type .01 font fine print that basically ensured this fellow would be their personal slave! And guess what? Doc Bur-Ock had already acquired (through dishonest means) the legal power of attorney for this dope, ensuring that he himself could sign the contract for Blank State, and it would hold up in a court of Law! He was pretty sure it would anyway. Or he could just forge the name. That might work equally as well, even if there was always bureaucratic red tape that it avoided and Doc Bur-Ock hated having to do that.

And that's when Doc Bur-Ock was surprised, for the second time that day!

Crash site
The Mite
Soon, a projection appeared in a nearby wall, a small cartoon-like being emerging from it as he scratched his head, clad in a 30s nightgown and cap, as well as what appeared to be a Betty Boop dakimakura.
"What's all the noise here!? I'm tryna-" He paused, seeing Doc and smirking. "Well, I'll be thrown into a river with my liver... Doc Bur-Ock, huh? Long time, no see, old guy?"

Doc Bur-Ock was startled, and then dismayed, and then tried to hide his dismay by looking busy. "Oh yeah. Mite. Right. It's been awhile. You've been missing a lot of important villains' meetings lately. Lots of really important things we've been covering. Like, we've had a setback in deciding on our new name, but that's just temporary... Anyway, never mind that. You up for ruining the Infinites' car by finding a moose that's been in the news, and then siccing the moose on their car? If so, hop in the beat up, damaged car that Lump was driving..."

---

Hong Kong

Grandmaster Yuan
November 2, 2019
Hong Kong

The Grandmaster felt a pain on his back as a result of sleeping in the van. He opened his right eye only to see two people getting closer to him. They were mail carriers. "No sleeping in the van!" One of the mail carriers said angrily as they have no idea how the Grandmaster got in the van until now. He slowly gets up as his whole body was in pain. He looks up to see shops, apartments and people being crowded together. "Is this Hong Kong?" The Grandmaster asked himself.

It was indeed, Hong Kong. Home of the largest concentration of ultra high-net-worth individuals of any city in the world, a highly developed, sophisticated transport network, and Cantopop. But it was also a city in which political tensions were high, about as high as the amount of pollution in the air. And with high political tensions and air pollution, you also get paranoid civil servants... like the angry customs officer chasing down the mail van...

The drivers pulled over (because the customs officer motioned them over). A man dressed officially came up, and scowling, started harassing the drivers.

As it turned out, that was a good thing. Their conversation went like this.

Customs: "Who are you?"

Drivers: "We are mailmen."

Customs: "No you are not! You are spies!"

Drivers: "Ok, you got us. We surrender."

Customs: (shocked) "That was easy. Now get out while I arrest you."

Drivers: "Ok."

After he arrested them and put them in his vehicle, the customs agent turned to the Grandmaster, riding in the back. He looked the Grandmaster over suspiciously, before saying:

Customs: 'You are also a spy!"

[Ameriganastan]

Crash site
The Mite
Soon, a projection appeared in a nearby wall, a small cartoon-like being emerging from it as he scratched his head, clad in a 30s nightgown and cap, as well as what appeared to be a Betty Boop dakimakura.
"What's all the noise here!? I'm tryna-" He paused, seeing Doc and smirking. "Well, I'll be thrown into a river with my liver... Doc Bur-Ock, huh? Long time, no see, old guy?"

Doc Bur-Ock was startled, and then dismayed, and then tried to hide his dismay by looking busy. "Oh yeah. Mite. Right. It's been awhile. You've been missing a lot of important villains' meetings lately. Lots of really important things we've been covering. Like, we've had a setback in deciding on our new name, but that's just temporary... Anyway, never mind that. You up for ruining the Infinites' car by finding a moose that's been in the news, and then siccing the moose on their car? If so, hop in the beat up, damaged car that Lump was driving..."

Lump himself had wandered back to his ramshackle vehicle, and currently had his mouth wrapped around the exhaust pipe.

"...Nope, not working. Just tastes really bad."

He hacked up a cloud of black smoke before noticing the new villain.

"Yay, new friend. Hope you like showtunes. Cause I sure like singing them."

[Brancoveanic Transylvania]

Glitch

Inside the Infinitemobile
Noelle Noe-son
As the Korean-American woman, clad in a purple shirt, leather jacket and cap and tight jeans along with dress shoes and a gold chain necklace, tapped on her phone and looked over at the scene ahead, somewhat unaware of the situation as she had been asleep for a while. She may have been a tomboy and serious girl, but she wasn't excatly the brightest bulb either. Her stand, a spirit that appeared to be an angel with texture that made her look like a glass being with a galaxy inside her, was poking her face playfully.
"Got enough rest, hun? You missed us all nearly dying. Guess that's what gaming late does to ya, huh?" The stand teased, the girl grunting in turn.

Glitch just stared incoherently at the Stand, and said in his normal confused manner, "Like, dude, I like game late all the time, an' like, I never have any issues..."

---

Crash site
Doc Bur-Ock

It was his lucky day. The villains were about to increase in number, as soon as that grinning evil guy who clearly hated the Infinites offered to join them. And if this Blank State guy wouldn't, well, Doc Bur-Ock had that planned for as well. For within the breast pocket of his costume was a contract. A contract with type .01 font fine print that basically ensured this fellow would be their personal slave! And guess what? Doc Bur-Ock had already acquired (through dishonest means) the legal power of attorney for this dope, ensuring that he himself could sign the contract for Blank State, and it would hold up in a court of Law! He was pretty sure it would anyway. Or he could just forge the name. That might work equally as well, even if there was always bureaucratic red tape that it avoided and Doc Bur-Ock hated having to do that.

And that's when Doc Bur-Ock was surprised, for the second time that day!

Crash site
The Mite
Soon, a projection appeared in a nearby wall, a small cartoon-like being emerging from it as he scratched his head, clad in a 30s nightgown and cap, as well as what appeared to be a Betty Boop dakimakura.
"What's all the noise here!? I'm tryna-" He paused, seeing Doc and smirking. "Well, I'll be thrown into a river with my liver... Doc Bur-Ock, huh? Long time, no see, old guy?"

Doc Bur-Ock was startled, and then dismayed, and then tried to hide his dismay by looking busy. "Oh yeah. Mite. Right. It's been awhile. You've been missing a lot of important villains' meetings lately. Lots of really important things we've been covering. Like, we've had a setback in deciding on our new name, but that's just temporary... Anyway, never mind that. You up for ruining the Infinites' car by finding a moose that's been in the news, and then siccing the moose on their car? If so, hop in the beat up, damaged car that Lump was driving..."

---

Inside the Infinitemobile
Noelle Noe-son
"Well, you, for one, don't necessarily live on a diet of energy drinks and Doritos to compensate your energy. It's a wonder she even stays thin!" Final Countdown remarked as she stretched herself out, squishing Noelle as she rubbed her eyes.
"Oh, come on! You know I get sleepy during car rides..." She replied.
"Of course you do. Need a blanket and a pacifier too?" Final Countdown laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Don't call me back. Your spirit's probably sweaty and smelly by now. Does this car have an AC?" the Stand rambled.

Crash site
The Mite
"Yeah, sorry. The road was pretty rough for me. Just had a nasty breakup with Snow White. I'm never gonna forget our long, loving relationship... of eight weeks. Anyways, sure. Turn the headlights on. Or any light for that matter." Mite said, looking up at him in intrigue. "How're we gonna catch it, anyway?"

Doc Bur-Ock was startled, and then dismayed, and then tried to hide his dismay by looking busy. "Oh yeah. Mite. Right. It's been awhile. You've been missing a lot of important villains' meetings lately. Lots of really important things we've been covering. Like, we've had a setback in deciding on our new name, but that's just temporary... Anyway, never mind that. You up for ruining the Infinites' car by finding a moose that's been in the news, and then siccing the moose on their car? If so, hop in the beat up, damaged car that Lump was driving..."

Lump himself had wandered back to his ramshackle vehicle, and currently had his mouth wrapped around the exhaust pipe.

"...Nope, not working. Just tastes really bad."

He hacked up a cloud of black smoke before noticing the new villain.

"Yay, new friend. Hope you like showtunes. Cause I sure like singing them."

"Are you joking me? Showtunes are probably my favourite kind of music. Infact, I could supply the entourage." Mite said, before bringing up an orchestra of anthropomorphic animals behind him.

A woman clad in yellow with glowing, blonde hair and slitted eyes would sigh as she saw the view of the animal band. "Oh, dear me, not this again, please..." She sighed. "Can we go look for this stupid moose already. I, DIA, have run out of nectarines."

"Ha, ha, necatrines. Get it, because you're a vampire, and- ugh, what do I care? Can we just camp out here? Stars look good." A spirit-like gold figure said, munching on some fries.

[Zjaum]

Earlier that day, but still at night... around 6-ish

Cue jazz

A trench-coated figure walked down the dimly-lit alleyway. This was his special time of day, if only because all the other times of night were taken by more important superheroes, and his employment precluded him from earlier hours. The city was prematurely lit with the light of streetlamps, and, um, well, the still-setting sun. He nodded to himself. It had been a long day, but his work had only begun. He parked himself under the local bus stop at the corner, resting patiently under the roof. Sure, it was clear skies tonight, but rain, snow, and hail could strike at any moment. At least, that's what they told him down south in Chicago. He tilted his fedora cap downwards and popped his collars so as to conceal his identity.

From the corner of his eye, she spotted a woman walking down the road perpendicular to his. She felt like a real salt-of-the-earth kind of gal. Even without the rain, the light glistened off her face, as if she was made of gold (well, it's film noir, so, silver). She stood at the corner and pushed the button that would allow her to cross.

"Where are you off to, lady?"

The broad turned back to him. "Oh, you know, it's something I do on Thursdays."

"Be careful out there, you hear?" warned the stranger. "This town can be full of dangers."

The girl nodded hesitantly. "Um, thanks."

It was true; he'd seen first hand the corruption that festered the town of Orient, Michigan. The wealthiest in the area hatched bitter schemes to take over the world; he'd noticed the missing cows and followed every detail, up to the point where he mysteriously vanished. But that was nothing compared to the rotten stench of the Orient City Hall. They had the gall to raise the hunting license application fee by half a dollar! Despicable. Almost as bad as their attempt to require air fresheners in every bathroom, public and private! This city was perfect, just the way she smelled... obviously, though, the man himself showered on a daily basis.

But at least the city had a watchful eye over its comings and goings. Crime ran free on the streets of Orient, but the criminals would forever live in fear. The bronzed Amazon may not have known, may never know, how safe she was, for, hidden behind the trench coat, the man bore the secret power of-

"I'm Staple Remover Man," announced the man, rather matter-of-factly and not at all as triumphantly as he wanted.

The lady paused before stepping onto the asphalt. "Sorry, did you say something?"

"I'm, um," the man mumbled sheepishly as he took off his coat and fedora, revealing a hideous purple and yellow mask, which no one in their right mind should wear. "I'm... um... well... yeah."

"Oh," stated the woman, nodding and smiling as if to acknowledge him and nothing more, while internally wanting to run away as fast as she could, but keeping herself put for the sake of civility. "And, uh, my name is Aubree... I really have to go now-"

Aubree looked across the street, as the great orange hand of stoppage glowed brightly across the intersection. She had missed her opportunity. She hit the button again. The two waited for a good thirty seconds, a great aura of discomfort and awkwardness suspended in midair. Aubree Lincoln wanted to get away from Captain Stranger Danger, and Miles Petersen wanted to die. The little white man of passage shone through. Aubree gave a brief nod to the mysterious man and began walking away at a noticeably faster pace than before.


Now

It was a blustering night indeed. Miles Petersen had his trusty tools around his belt, binoculars in gloved hands. The bush on which he rested was not the most comfortable position, nor was it the easiest to mount. Which would make the enemies of freedom all the less suspicious.

It was after a few minutes of spotting that Miles heard the distinct noise of stretched rubber behind him. He wasn't capable of turning over or turning around, so he just raised his hands in surrender. "You may have won this time, foul fiend, but next time I'll-"

"What are you doing in my front lawn?"

"Wait- isn't this supposed to be a reserv-"

"I have my reasons. Answer my question, or your get two water rockets to the behind."

"Two rocke- Who are you?"

"You can call me Mister Fire..." the man behind him sighed. "Blimp Man. My name is Blimp Man."

"Ah, I see! A fellow vigilante! I'm Staple Remover Man."

Miles heard a groan and felt a tug on his back as he was lifted very gently into the air and set down well outside a certain line in the ground, apparently the boundaries of Blimp Man's house. Miles turned around and saw the old Dutch beard and stuck out his hand to shake. "The world may never understand us, but at least we understand each other."

"Yeah, no, you still need to-"

"Oh. Right. See, they upped the hunting fee by fifty cents. My hunch is that a number of hunters will opt to forego the license and save on cash. As soon as they show up, I'm going to ambush them and ask them for their license!"

"...So your plan is to surprise people with loaded and ready guns?"

"...Now that you think about it, I think I'll wave to them from afar."

"Do you think you're going to even find hunters in this weather?"

"Now, for that I'm certain! Take a look!"

Remover pulled out a newspaper from his trench coat and flashed it at Blimp. "You see? There's a moose on the loose! And moose make for very good game!"

Staple Remover's new sidekick nodded understandingly and readied his rockets. "Make whatever final preparations you can. We move out in thirty seconds."

"Huzzah! You plan to join me?"

"No! Moose venison is the best! Haven't you ever had some? And what's with all of those trenches tacked to your clothing?"

[Speyland]

Driving
Captain Calculator

As they headed north to finally go to the meteorite site (which, of course, will be important plot wise but he didn't know that at the time), the local expert in logistics piped up.

Pragmatica

With reasonable speed and unparalleled efficiency, Pragmatica took a piece of paper and made several careful, measured calculations as to the estimated cost of repairing Captain Calculator's van as a result of the actions of Blank State. As an eminently reasonable person, no detail could possibly pass her by without due notice, and she had seen the villain for who he was. However, it would have been foolhardy to directly engage in any fight, as the potential costs outweighed any benefit.

Also, she didn't care.

Instead she used the quick stop to take several photographs of the damage from multiple angles in order to file an insurance report at a later date, and was now carefully examining each picture to create the most accurate prediction possible. Thankfully the speed bump hadn't caused too much damage besides superficial scrapes, but she was concerned as to why the entire back half of the van appeared to only be attached with twine at the bottom. She would have to have a word with the local mechanic about this shoddy workmanship, naturally assuming that surely no one would be foolish enough to think using twine to fix extreme damage to their gas tank would be a good idea. This would not be the first time, nor the last, that she would somehow both over and underestimate the Minnesota Infinites at the same time. After a thorough examination of the evidence and her own recalling of the relevant insurance policies and governmental policies as it related to vehicular damage in the pursuit of justice, she was ready to present her facts to the car.

"Attention, everyone. It would appear that due to recent damages to the vehicle we are currently being transported in, we are now eligible for a federal grant as it pertains to Section J-7 of the "Powered Pursuit of Justice Act of 2013", which allows for superhero groups to be reimbursed for up to two million USD in the pursuit of justice. This vehicle is now federal evidence, and we must disembark immediately and continue to our location on foot. If we report this incident with the next 47 hours, 26 minutes, and 13 seconds, we could be eligible, based on the current market price of the average car of this model and condition, for nearly one hundred thousand USD in compensation for this villain attack on Infinite property. Additionally, given there are minors in the vehicle at the time, we could claim this as an educational field excursion and receive a further financial amount of nearly twice the aforementioned sum. Of course, one of the children would need to die, but based on past performance, I assume we don't need all of them,".

Calculator stifled a laugh. "I'm sorry, Pragmatica, that was almost right on. That is the law, alright... But the funny thing, is, that only works for registered superhero groups. You know. Guys like the Texas Infinites or those Ohio guys. Somehow the government has never accepted our application to be considered a real superhero group, and so we get bupkus. But it's a nice thought. One day, maybe!" He beamed as he daydreamed about the day when the Minnesota Infinites would actually be recognized by the government, or let's face it, anyone who wasn't criminally insane, as a real superhero group. That would not only be the crowning achievement of his life. It would also make his day, too.

But daydreaming was soon to end...

Jim Walker AKA Warstory
Jim Walker looked at Pragmatica with a mix of awe and shock that someone had those laws memorized. He didn't know that someone could do that without going crazy from all the legalese. He also thought they should check out that other car, the one that had rammed his truck. He said,"Hey Cap'n Calculator, what're we going to do about that other car? It could possibly be a threat, or we should see if they're hurt. Ya know, this reminds me of the time I had to pull a fellow chopper pilot out of a wreck. The chopper was burnin', and the guy was bleedin' badly, and his crew were dead. It was a real messy crash. It was a miracle the guy survived."

As the fog of Blank State's power wore off of Captain Calculator and he had his right mind back, he heard Warstory and was immediately filled with guilt. Not the kind of guilt one has when they commit a mortal sin or something. But more like the kind of guilt one has when one is on a diet and overeats a smidge too much at the local buffet restaurant.

"Alright. We'll go back. That's what Infinites should do. Sorry. I wasn't myself back there. My head felt kind of funny."

He turned the car around and headed back where they had come from.

Glitch

Inside the Infinitemobile
Noelle Noe-son
As the Korean-American woman, clad in a purple shirt, leather jacket and cap and tight jeans along with dress shoes and a gold chain necklace, tapped on her phone and looked over at the scene ahead, somewhat unaware of the situation as she had been asleep for a while. She may have been a tomboy and serious girl, but she wasn't excatly the brightest bulb either. Her stand, a spirit that appeared to be an angel with texture that made her look like a glass being with a galaxy inside her, was poking her face playfully.
"Got enough rest, hun? You missed us all nearly dying. Guess that's what gaming late does to ya, huh?" The stand teased, the girl grunting in turn.

Glitch just stared incoherently at the Stand, and said in his normal confused manner, "Like, dude, I like game late all the time, an' like, I never have any issues..."

---

Crash site
Doc Bur-Ock

It was his lucky day. The villains were about to increase in number, as soon as that grinning evil guy who clearly hated the Infinites offered to join them. And if this Blank State guy wouldn't, well, Doc Bur-Ock had that planned for as well. For within the breast pocket of his costume was a contract. A contract with type .01 font fine print that basically ensured this fellow would be their personal slave! And guess what? Doc Bur-Ock had already acquired (through dishonest means) the legal power of attorney for this dope, ensuring that he himself could sign the contract for Blank State, and it would hold up in a court of Law! He was pretty sure it would anyway. Or he could just forge the name. That might work equally as well, even if there was always bureaucratic red tape that it avoided and Doc Bur-Ock hated having to do that.

And that's when Doc Bur-Ock was surprised, for the second time that day!

Crash site
The Mite
Soon, a projection appeared in a nearby wall, a small cartoon-like being emerging from it as he scratched his head, clad in a 30s nightgown and cap, as well as what appeared to be a Betty Boop dakimakura.
"What's all the noise here!? I'm tryna-" He paused, seeing Doc and smirking. "Well, I'll be thrown into a river with my liver... Doc Bur-Ock, huh? Long time, no see, old guy?"

Doc Bur-Ock was startled, and then dismayed, and then tried to hide his dismay by looking busy. "Oh yeah. Mite. Right. It's been awhile. You've been missing a lot of important villains' meetings lately. Lots of really important things we've been covering. Like, we've had a setback in deciding on our new name, but that's just temporary... Anyway, never mind that. You up for ruining the Infinites' car by finding a moose that's been in the news, and then siccing the moose on their car? If so, hop in the beat up, damaged car that Lump was driving..."

---

Hong Kong

Grandmaster Yuan
November 2, 2019
Hong Kong

The Grandmaster felt a pain on his back as a result of sleeping in the van. He opened his right eye only to see two people getting closer to him. They were mail carriers. "No sleeping in the van!" One of the mail carriers said angrily as they have no idea how the Grandmaster got in the van until now. He slowly gets up as his whole body was in pain. He looks up to see shops, apartments and people being crowded together. "Is this Hong Kong?" The Grandmaster asked himself.

It was indeed, Hong Kong. Home of the largest concentration of ultra high-net-worth individuals of any city in the world, a highly developed, sophisticated transport network, and Cantopop. But it was also a city in which political tensions were high, about as high as the amount of pollution in the air. And with high political tensions and air pollution, you also get paranoid civil servants... like the angry customs officer chasing down the mail van...

The drivers pulled over (because the customs officer motioned them over). A man dressed officially came up, and scowling, started harassing the drivers.

As it turned out, that was a good thing. Their conversation went like this.

Customs: "Who are you?"

Drivers: "We are mailmen."

Customs: "No you are not! You are spies!"

Drivers: "Ok, you got us. We surrender."

Customs: (shocked) "That was easy. Now get out while I arrest you."

Drivers: "Ok."

After he arrested them and put them in his vehicle, the customs agent turned to the Grandmaster, riding in the back. He looked the Grandmaster over suspiciously, before saying:

Customs: 'You are also a spy!"

"Me?" The Grandmaster wasn't sure what the customs agent are talking about. "I was asleep."

[Danubian Peoples]

[That was a pretty long post, no?]

The Spotlight

As Captain Calculator spoke the 'legal status' of the team's superheroing, the Spotlight visibly held back a smile, then a grin, then a laugh. His mouth burst out open with much laughter.

'So what, we haven't been recognized yet? That's hilarious. Personally I've been recognized my entire career as a superhero- until I wasn't.'

His smile faded back to a more neutral expression.

'In my day, we didn't need no recognition. All you needed was the gall to punch some ne'er do wells where it hurts. And, save the day of course. Although in my day the latter was also a bit of an afterthought. And as such I was technically recognized up until-quite recently actually. Some folks over up top said I was 'too old.' And that unlike some of the other grandpapas and grandmamas of the superhero world, I ain't got no excuse. No immortality, no deep freeze, no time dilation.. To be truthful they are kinda right. I ain't got none of those things. All I've been given is another discount for being old something. But to be truthful they're also wrong! The Spotlight is still a capable fighter! Watch me world, because I'm still he- Ahh... I think I popped my neck there. Feels good. Y'know what, you said we'll be turning 'round back to that speed bump? Hopefully your 'friend' is still there, Cap'n. I'd like to administer some justice..'

[Talchyon]

Drivin'
Captain Calculator

Just then, a pair of long-time Minnesota Infinites who had previously remained quiet piped up. The Minnesota Twins, as they called themselves, were a lot less familiar to the general public than the baseball team. Ed and Aesculapius, Siamese twins joined at the leg, had been with the Minnesota team since, gosh, at least 3 or 4 arcs depending on how you count things. They had been silent for a long time - ever since the meeting earlier that evening. But now they spoke as one.

"Captain, stop the car. We want to be tour guides. We want to take around interested people to see the wonders of rural Minnesota plants and creatures. We have given a lot of thought about it, and think that's the best thing for us right now."

A little sad, Captain Calculator reluctantly slowed down and came to a stop on the rural country road, near a field. The Minnesota twins got out and wandered off.

But they weren't the only ones.

Irina spoke up too, in her 60's Russian accent. "Ya, darling. Me too. I will be, how do you say, a tour guide?" And she got out of the car and wandered off.

The old lady, Libra or rather Gertrude Jones, said, "I have had a change of heart. I now know my purpose in life is to give tours of this field." She got out of the car and wandered off.

Then a European looking journalist showed up, and said, "I too, will become a tour guide." And he wandered off.

He was followed by a man who looked grossly like a pig. "And I, too, will become a tour guide." And he wandered off.

Finally, the brother and sister pair who could both detect and dodge any surface-to-air missiles they encountered, RadarK and Fruitbat, looked at each other and said, "That's us, too. We want to be tour guides. Bye." And they got out and wandered off.

Calculator looked at everyone who wandered off until they were out of sight. He sighed. And then said, "The state of Minnesota just got some darned fine tour guides... But anyway, yeah, as you were saying, Spotlight, let's go back to the crash site and help the poor people out. Especially that weird guy who was shooting diet cola out of his hands to soften the mud, and that guy who took the header into a tree but looked perfectly fine and didn't get a scratch."

They took off driving, and came back to the crash site - only to find that the car was gone.

---

Driving
Doc Bur-Ock

Now that the suicidal maniac the Lump was driving again, Doc Bur-Ock turned his attention to more pressing matters. He handed out forms to the Mite and the Time stand / spirit / entity / Aubree-gold-almost-clone and said, "These are your forms. They cover how we are not liable for any injuries you encounter, and in fact, we can sue you at any time for random assorted reasons - not that we ever have for our villains club, but hey, these things are just a formality. Please sign them in triplicate and have them notorized eventually. As for now, we have a moose to find!"

They drove for a while. They even passed a familiar-ish looking car where a bunch of people were nearby and one by one by two by one by - were those guys Siamese twins? - were wandering off. Huh. Why some people stop in the middle of the early evening to go to a field and wander off, Doc Bur-Ock would never know. Though it did remind of a friend in college he had who proposed that they all get together to walk like the Monkees in a field to raise money for leukemia.

But whatever. They passed them, going the opposite direction. And drove for awhile, each discussing his or her plans of what their ultimate plans would be if they conquered the world. And it was during one of these conversations, that they found what they were looking for. Kind of.

"Wow. That's amazing, Ulterior Motive Man! That's what you were planning all this time? And so, every little thing that has ever happened to the Infinites or villains in Minnesota has all been part of your huge master plan? What about the time when... Oh wait! Look! There's a moose. I think!"

Standing there in the field, was a guy. Clearly a guy. Dressed like a moose. And he had a camera with a tripod and a camera bag slung over his shoulder.

"Oh, there!" He said. "If you're hunting moose, I'm just a decoy. Don't shoot! I've tracked one down to this general area, so don't spook him off, either." He approached the now parked villains' car and stuck out his hand. "Oh. Name's Rastand. Cam Rastand, amateur photographer, here to capture some shots of a moose."

Doc Bur-Ock said, "Moose, eh?" Then, turning to the villains, he said quietly, "Let's hang around this dope so he can lead us straight to a moose. And then, when he's done, we'll take the moose before he can get a picture of it and scram!" He snickered evilly to himself as they all piled out of the car.

---

Hong Kong
Psychotic customs agent

It was indeed, Hong Kong. Home of the largest concentration of ultra high-net-worth individuals of any city in the world, a highly developed, sophisticated transport network, and Cantopop. But it was also a city in which political tensions were high, about as high as the amount of pollution in the air. And with high political tensions and air pollution, you also get paranoid civil servants... like the angry customs officer chasing down the mail van...

The drivers pulled over (because the customs officer motioned them over). A man dressed officially came up, and scowling, started harassing the drivers.

As it turned out, that was a good thing. Their conversation went like this.

Customs: "Who are you?"

Drivers: "We are mailmen."

Customs: "No you are not! You are spies!"

Drivers: "Ok, you got us. We surrender."

Customs: (shocked) "That was easy. Now get out while I arrest you."

Drivers: "Ok."

After he arrested them and put them in his vehicle, the customs agent turned to the Grandmaster, riding in the back. He looked the Grandmaster over suspiciously, before saying:

Customs: 'You are also a spy!"

"Me?" The Grandmaster wasn't sure what the customs agent are talking about. "I was asleep."

When the suspicious looking guy in the back of the spies' truck said he was asleep, the psychotic customs officer doubted it. Here was his big chance to advance in the ranks of Hong Kong law enforcement that so far had been denied him. It seemed like every time he accused people of being spies, they denied it (except this last time, which was quite nice). But he wasn't going to let Grandmaster Yuan off easy.

"If you are not a spy, then get out of the car, hands up, and walk in a straight line. Then, breathe into this breathalyzer machine. We will find out the truth!"

There might have been a reason this man had not advanced far in the ranks of Hong Kong law enforcement.

[Pax Nerdvana]

Drivin'
Captain Calculator

Just then, a pair of long-time Minnesota Infinites who had previously remained quiet piped up. The Minnesota Twins, as they called themselves, were a lot less familiar to the general public than the baseball team. Ed and Aesculapius, Siamese twins joined at the leg, had been with the Minnesota team since, gosh, at least 3 or 4 arcs depending on how you count things. They had been silent for a long time - ever since the meeting earlier that evening. But now they spoke as one.

"Captain, stop the car. We want to be tour guides. We want to take around interested people to see the wonders of rural Minnesota plants and creatures. We have given a lot of thought about it, and think that's the best thing for us right now."

A little sad, Captain Calculator reluctantly slowed down and came to a stop on the rural country road, near a field. The Minnesota twins got out and wandered off.

But they weren't the only ones.

Irina spoke up too, in her 60's Russian accent. "Ya, darling. Me too. I will be, how do you say, a tour guide?" And she got out of the car and wandered off.

The old lady, Libra or rather Gertrude Jones, said, "I have had a change of heart. I now know my purpose in life is to give tours of this field." She got out of the car and wandered off.

Then a European looking journalist showed up, and said, "I too, will become a tour guide." And he wandered off.

He was followed by a man who looked grossly like a pig. "And I, too, will become a tour guide." And he wandered off.

Finally, the brother and sister pair who could both detect and dodge any surface-to-air missiles they encountered, RadarK and Fruitbat, looked at each other and said, "That's us, too. We want to be tour guides. Bye." And they got out and wandered off.

Calculator looked at everyone who wandered off until they were out of sight. He sighed. And then said, "The state of Minnesota just got some darned fine tour guides... But anyway, yeah, as you were saying, Spotlight, let's go back to the crash site and help the poor people out. Especially that weird guy who was shooting diet cola out of his hands to soften the mud, and that guy who took the header into a tree but looked perfectly fine and didn't get a scratch."

They took off driving, and came back to the crash site - only to find that the car was gone.

---

Driving
Doc Bur-Ock

Now that the suicidal maniac the Lump was driving again, Doc Bur-Ock turned his attention to more pressing matters. He handed out forms to the Mite and the Time stand / spirit / entity / Aubree-gold-almost-clone and said, "These are your forms. They cover how we are not liable for any injuries you encounter, and in fact, we can sue you at any time for random assorted reasons - not that we ever have for our villains club, but hey, these things are just a formality. Please sign them in triplicate and have them notorized eventually. As for now, we have a moose to find!"

They drove for a while. They even passed a familiar-ish looking car where a bunch of people were nearby and one by one by two by one by - were those guys Siamese twins? - were wandering off. Huh. Why some people stop in the middle of the early evening to go to a field and wander off, Doc Bur-Ock would never know. Though it did remind of a friend in college he had who proposed that they all get together to walk like the Monkees in a field to raise money for leukemia.

But whatever. They passed them, going the opposite direction. And drove for awhile, each discussing his or her plans of what their ultimate plans would be if they conquered the world. And it was during one of these conversations, that they found what they were looking for. Kind of.

"Wow. That's amazing, Ulterior Motive Man! That's what you were planning all this time? And so, every little thing that has ever happened to the Infinites or villains in Minnesota has all been part of your huge master plan? What about the time when... Oh wait! Look! There's a moose. I think!"

Standing there in the field, was a guy. Clearly a guy. Dressed like a moose. And he had a camera with a tripod and a camera bag slung over his shoulder.

"Oh, there!" He said. "If you're hunting moose, I'm just a decoy. Don't shoot! I've tracked one down to this general area, so don't spook him off, either." He approached the now parked villains' car and stuck out his hand. "Oh. Name's Rastand. Cam Rastand, amateur photographer, here to capture some shots of a moose."

Doc Bur-Ock said, "Moose, eh?" Then, turning to the villains, he said quietly, "Let's hang around this dope so he can lead us straight to a moose. And then, when he's done, we'll take the moose before he can get a picture of it and scram!" He snickered evilly to himself as they all piled out of the car.

---

Hong Kong
Psychotic customs agent

"Me?" The Grandmaster wasn't sure what the customs agent are talking about. "I was asleep."

When the suspicious looking guy in the back of the spies' truck said he was asleep, the psychotic customs officer doubted it. Here was his big chance to advance in the ranks of Hong Kong law enforcement that so far had been denied him. It seemed like every time he accused people of being spies, they denied it (except this last time, which was quite nice). But he wasn't going to let Grandmaster Yuan off easy.

"If you are not a spy, then get out of the car, hands up, and walk in a straight line. Then, breathe into this breathalyzer machine. We will find out the truth!"

There might have been a reason this man had not advanced far in the ranks of Hong Kong law enforcement.

Jim Walker AKA Warstory
Jim said,"That's funny. That car was jus' here. Almost reminds me of the time me and my copilot were roped into a SAR op, minus our chopper. I think this woulda been 'bout '78 or so, since it was fairly soon before I retired. Someone an' their car just straight up vanished from a trailhead outside of DC. That was a real strange mission. A couple of the SAR guys found th' hiker, but we never found th' car. My copilot thought someone stole it, but we were never really sure. Maybe we can find tire tracks an' follow 'em, or somethin'? Come to think of it, I'm kinda hungry. Anyone else want some homemade venison jerky?" He thoughtfully reached into the pocket of his overalls and pulled out a plastic wrapped parcel. He unwrapped it, and removed a strip of jerky. He munched on it, searching the ground for tire tracks.

[Zjaum]

It was a quiet night, save for the shoes of the hunter and investigator sloshing about in the Minnesota snow. It was cold. Blimp Man didn't quite want to do this, but future him would thank present him later for the venison. Staple Remover Man didn't quite want to do this, but he was the vigilant watch over the city as she slept in her own filth.

Staple Remover Man held up his hand for pause. "Hold. I see someone moving. One- no, eight- people are wandering off in the snow."

Blimp Man looked into the darkness. When the darkness looked back at him, he blinked. "Hey, I think I know those guys. They're from the Infinites."

"The Infinites? I thought they were only a myth."

"Really? You're an investigator, and you couldn't find anything on these guys?"

"They didn't leave any paper trail. I could never be sure. They must have a real knack for blending in with the rest of the crowd."

"You know, Aubree told me that they once had a giant that was, like, half a mile tall..."

"Paula Bunyan was an Infinite?"

"Who's Paula Bunyan?"

"Stop talking; somewhere villains are laughing at our petty squabbling! If you're correct, then it seems that these brave heroes have fallen victim to the escherichia duxpretia virus."

"What's that?"

"It's a strain contained only in cold, boring, poorly-narrated environments in Minnesota. It starts with a long period of inactivity, and then it develops into a strong desire to walk around and share sights with other people. If they follow the tour guides, they contract the virus too. That's how it spreads."

"My gosh... Do you think we'll ever contract it?"

"I got vaccinated a while back. You're far enough away from society to be fine."

"Wait... but Aubree! The Infinites haven't been active in a while! That must mean... and that's why... oh, gosh, she's in danger! I have to warn her!" Henry fired up his blimp and began to rise.

"A dame in peril? Now that's my kind of work!" announced Staple Remover Man. He sprung forward before pausing. "But what if those wanderers over there don't have hunting licenses?"

"There's no time, man! You're too late!"

"But it's never too late to dole out justice!"

And so the two parted ways. Staple Remover Man wisely remembered the perils of following tour guides, so he was left to find new potential perpetrators. Blimp Man headed straight for the freeway to collect his bearings.

[Speyland]

Drivin'
Captain Calculator

Just then, a pair of long-time Minnesota Infinites who had previously remained quiet piped up. The Minnesota Twins, as they called themselves, were a lot less familiar to the general public than the baseball team. Ed and Aesculapius, Siamese twins joined at the leg, had been with the Minnesota team since, gosh, at least 3 or 4 arcs depending on how you count things. They had been silent for a long time - ever since the meeting earlier that evening. But now they spoke as one.

"Captain, stop the car. We want to be tour guides. We want to take around interested people to see the wonders of rural Minnesota plants and creatures. We have given a lot of thought about it, and think that's the best thing for us right now."

A little sad, Captain Calculator reluctantly slowed down and came to a stop on the rural country road, near a field. The Minnesota twins got out and wandered off.

But they weren't the only ones.

Irina spoke up too, in her 60's Russian accent. "Ya, darling. Me too. I will be, how do you say, a tour guide?" And she got out of the car and wandered off.

The old lady, Libra or rather Gertrude Jones, said, "I have had a change of heart. I now know my purpose in life is to give tours of this field." She got out of the car and wandered off.

Then a European looking journalist showed up, and said, "I too, will become a tour guide." And he wandered off.

He was followed by a man who looked grossly like a pig. "And I, too, will become a tour guide." And he wandered off.

Finally, the brother and sister pair who could both detect and dodge any surface-to-air missiles they encountered, RadarK and Fruitbat, looked at each other and said, "That's us, too. We want to be tour guides. Bye." And they got out and wandered off.

Calculator looked at everyone who wandered off until they were out of sight. He sighed. And then said, "The state of Minnesota just got some darned fine tour guides... But anyway, yeah, as you were saying, Spotlight, let's go back to the crash site and help the poor people out. Especially that weird guy who was shooting diet cola out of his hands to soften the mud, and that guy who took the header into a tree but looked perfectly fine and didn't get a scratch."

They took off driving, and came back to the crash site - only to find that the car was gone.

---

Driving
Doc Bur-Ock

Now that the suicidal maniac the Lump was driving again, Doc Bur-Ock turned his attention to more pressing matters. He handed out forms to the Mite and the Time stand / spirit / entity / Aubree-gold-almost-clone and said, "These are your forms. They cover how we are not liable for any injuries you encounter, and in fact, we can sue you at any time for random assorted reasons - not that we ever have for our villains club, but hey, these things are just a formality. Please sign them in triplicate and have them notorized eventually. As for now, we have a moose to find!"

They drove for a while. They even passed a familiar-ish looking car where a bunch of people were nearby and one by one by two by one by - were those guys Siamese twins? - were wandering off. Huh. Why some people stop in the middle of the early evening to go to a field and wander off, Doc Bur-Ock would never know. Though it did remind of a friend in college he had who proposed that they all get together to walk like the Monkees in a field to raise money for leukemia.

But whatever. They passed them, going the opposite direction. And drove for awhile, each discussing his or her plans of what their ultimate plans would be if they conquered the world. And it was during one of these conversations, that they found what they were looking for. Kind of.

"Wow. That's amazing, Ulterior Motive Man! That's what you were planning all this time? And so, every little thing that has ever happened to the Infinites or villains in Minnesota has all been part of your huge master plan? What about the time when... Oh wait! Look! There's a moose. I think!"

Standing there in the field, was a guy. Clearly a guy. Dressed like a moose. And he had a camera with a tripod and a camera bag slung over his shoulder.

"Oh, there!" He said. "If you're hunting moose, I'm just a decoy. Don't shoot! I've tracked one down to this general area, so don't spook him off, either." He approached the now parked villains' car and stuck out his hand. "Oh. Name's Rastand. Cam Rastand, amateur photographer, here to capture some shots of a moose."

Doc Bur-Ock said, "Moose, eh?" Then, turning to the villains, he said quietly, "Let's hang around this dope so he can lead us straight to a moose. And then, when he's done, we'll take the moose before he can get a picture of it and scram!" He snickered evilly to himself as they all piled out of the car.

---

Hong Kong
Psychotic customs agent

"Me?" The Grandmaster wasn't sure what the customs agent are talking about. "I was asleep."

When the suspicious looking guy in the back of the spies' truck said he was asleep, the psychotic customs officer doubted it. Here was his big chance to advance in the ranks of Hong Kong law enforcement that so far had been denied him. It seemed like every time he accused people of being spies, they denied it (except this last time, which was quite nice). But he wasn't going to let Grandmaster Yuan off easy.

"If you are not a spy, then get out of the car, hands up, and walk in a straight line. Then, breathe into this breathalyzer machine. We will find out the truth!"

There might have been a reason this man had not advanced far in the ranks of Hong Kong law enforcement.

The Grandmaster have no choice but to do what the psychotic customs officer told him to. Besides, it isn't going to hurt him one bit and his chi isn't effective against people. "Fine!" The Grandmaster angrily said as he got out of the vehicle.

[Brancoveanic Transylvania]

Drivin'
Captain Calculator

Just then, a pair of long-time Minnesota Infinites who had previously remained quiet piped up. The Minnesota Twins, as they called themselves, were a lot less familiar to the general public than the baseball team. Ed and Aesculapius, Siamese twins joined at the leg, had been with the Minnesota team since, gosh, at least 3 or 4 arcs depending on how you count things. They had been silent for a long time - ever since the meeting earlier that evening. But now they spoke as one.

"Captain, stop the car. We want to be tour guides. We want to take around interested people to see the wonders of rural Minnesota plants and creatures. We have given a lot of thought about it, and think that's the best thing for us right now."

A little sad, Captain Calculator reluctantly slowed down and came to a stop on the rural country road, near a field. The Minnesota twins got out and wandered off.

But they weren't the only ones.

Irina spoke up too, in her 60's Russian accent. "Ya, darling. Me too. I will be, how do you say, a tour guide?" And she got out of the car and wandered off.

The old lady, Libra or rather Gertrude Jones, said, "I have had a change of heart. I now know my purpose in life is to give tours of this field." She got out of the car and wandered off.

Then a European looking journalist showed up, and said, "I too, will become a tour guide." And he wandered off.

He was followed by a man who looked grossly like a pig. "And I, too, will become a tour guide." And he wandered off.

Finally, the brother and sister pair who could both detect and dodge any surface-to-air missiles they encountered, RadarK and Fruitbat, looked at each other and said, "That's us, too. We want to be tour guides. Bye." And they got out and wandered off.

Calculator looked at everyone who wandered off until they were out of sight. He sighed. And then said, "The state of Minnesota just got some darned fine tour guides... But anyway, yeah, as you were saying, Spotlight, let's go back to the crash site and help the poor people out. Especially that weird guy who was shooting diet cola out of his hands to soften the mud, and that guy who took the header into a tree but looked perfectly fine and didn't get a scratch."

They took off driving, and came back to the crash site - only to find that the car was gone.

---

Driving
Doc Bur-Ock

Now that the suicidal maniac the Lump was driving again, Doc Bur-Ock turned his attention to more pressing matters. He handed out forms to the Mite and the Time stand / spirit / entity / Aubree-gold-almost-clone and said, "These are your forms. They cover how we are not liable for any injuries you encounter, and in fact, we can sue you at any time for random assorted reasons - not that we ever have for our villains club, but hey, these things are just a formality. Please sign them in triplicate and have them notorized eventually. As for now, we have a moose to find!"

They drove for a while. They even passed a familiar-ish looking car where a bunch of people were nearby and one by one by two by one by - were those guys Siamese twins? - were wandering off. Huh. Why some people stop in the middle of the early evening to go to a field and wander off, Doc Bur-Ock would never know. Though it did remind of a friend in college he had who proposed that they all get together to walk like the Monkees in a field to raise money for leukemia.

But whatever. They passed them, going the opposite direction. And drove for awhile, each discussing his or her plans of what their ultimate plans would be if they conquered the world. And it was during one of these conversations, that they found what they were looking for. Kind of.

"Wow. That's amazing, Ulterior Motive Man! That's what you were planning all this time? And so, every little thing that has ever happened to the Infinites or villains in Minnesota has all been part of your huge master plan? What about the time when... Oh wait! Look! There's a moose. I think!"

Standing there in the field, was a guy. Clearly a guy. Dressed like a moose. And he had a camera with a tripod and a camera bag slung over his shoulder.

"Oh, there!" He said. "If you're hunting moose, I'm just a decoy. Don't shoot! I've tracked one down to this general area, so don't spook him off, either." He approached the now parked villains' car and stuck out his hand. "Oh. Name's Rastand. Cam Rastand, amateur photographer, here to capture some shots of a moose."

Doc Bur-Ock said, "Moose, eh?" Then, turning to the villains, he said quietly, "Let's hang around this dope so he can lead us straight to a moose. And then, when he's done, we'll take the moose before he can get a picture of it and scram!" He snickered evilly to himself as they all piled out of the car.

---

Hong Kong
Psychotic customs agent

"Me?" The Grandmaster wasn't sure what the customs agent are talking about. "I was asleep."

When the suspicious looking guy in the back of the spies' truck said he was asleep, the psychotic customs officer doubted it. Here was his big chance to advance in the ranks of Hong Kong law enforcement that so far had been denied him. It seemed like every time he accused people of being spies, they denied it (except this last time, which was quite nice). But he wasn't going to let Grandmaster Yuan off easy.

"If you are not a spy, then get out of the car, hands up, and walk in a straight line. Then, breathe into this breathalyzer machine. We will find out the truth!"

There might have been a reason this man had not advanced far in the ranks of Hong Kong law enforcement.

"Perfect!" The Mite quietly snickered. "But question is... how?"

Diana simply scoffed, raising an eyebrow at the Mite. "Perhaps I, DIA, could pull it off." She said, Mite jumping back slighty.
"Wait, where did you come from again!?" The Mite said as suddenly DIA's stand, the Time, appeared next to her.
"That's not important. What is, though, is that I, DIA, have a little trick up my sleeve..." DIA said, looking to her stant, a golden-armoured being with a sword at her waist as she sighed. "Simply put, it involves stopping time, but luckily for you, you'll feel like it just suddenly skipped. That is how I, the supreme DIA, prove myself to-"
"Whatever, little-miss-exposition. Let's hope this moose comes soon so we can just do us and get out of here. I wanna take a nap." The spirit whispered.
"Oh, I get it... you're a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure reference. Yeah, very original, champ. Gold star." The Mite sighed, summoning a gold star in his hand saying 'Award For Most Derivative Character in this Roleplay so Far 2019', and looking to Doc. "You got a carrot on ya incase her plan fails?"

[Skarten]

"A Plan Well Done"
Minnesota, Northeast of the Town
Blank State

In the depths of a roadside, a man laughed. Walking through the dirt near the roads, this man had not stopped laughing for well over five minutes. Blank State continued his walk, joyful from a well-done job. These Jokes who called themselves Infinites fell for his trap like rats going to a mousetrap. Even after he revealed themselves, his power proved to be too powerful for them to face. And so, after a few moments, he decided it was time to go. Deactivating his powers to leave them in confusion, dealing with the aftermath, he ran off the scenario, going up the road as he laughed with his signature KHKHKH. He was almost certain someone had talked about a contract or something like that, but he forgot about that too.

With his ambush completed, he wondered what he would do next. That was around the time he, to everyone's, that is, his surprise, he remembered about a thing he had read earlier. Apparently, the newspaper had talked about a meteor that had landed in a farm not too far from there, which had caused quite a rush to study this interesting space rock for its spacey and rocky properties. With this knowledge, his mind immediately began to foment another ingenious scheme that would prove to the world the boundaries of his boundless villainy. His machiavellian side had attacked again, for this was many times better than his previous plans. No, the roadbump trap would look like the ply of a little kid compared to this. He would go to that farm, and he would tip over the cows, eat fruits from the trees without paying for them and he would scream at a goat! Weep at your sorry fate, citizens of this land, for the reign of chaos of Blank State has naught but begun...

[Talchyon]

In a field
Cam Rastand, the guy dressed like a moose

As the villains sorted out their plans as to how to capture the runaway moose, the amateur photographer Cam Rastand called out. "Oy. Youse guys can folla me. I was going to change locations anyway and go a little deeper into the forest." The man was somewhat oblivious, it seemed, not noticing the outlandish superhero costumes designed on a poor man's budget, let alone Diana's references to stopping time or the Mite's suddenly appearing gold cartoon stars. As the villains hashed out their plans, the amateur photographer dressed like a moose led the way further into the forest.

After going a ways, the photographer who was leading the way held up his hand. "Quiet! Thought I heard a noise!" Tiptoeing through the undergrowth, the photographer looked ahead. Two things caught his eye. One, a man! In another outlandish costume, purple and yellow, with a staple remover in his hands! And the second, an odd, somewhat glowing rock...

The photographer said, "Look, I think that guy is lost. Why don't you guys help him out or something? I want to go take a few pictures." Fortunately, none of the other villains had seen the odd, somewhat glowing rock! How about those coincidences not at all controlled by an external, outside will!

---

Tracking behind Warstory
Captain Calculator

It was one thing to hear the same stories again and again. But it was another thing to hear Warstory tell the same stories again and again. Every ounce of his body was... a lot of ounces, if you think about it. But more importantly, the stories were pretty boring and Calculator felt himself dozing off several times. The names, dates, places, and storylines all jumbled into one long jumble of stuff he couldn't keep straight. As Warstory led the way through the underbrush, tracking down a trail of what looked to be some vehicle of villains going on their way to cause mischief, Calculator willed himself to stay awake. "Think," he thought. "Think of anything. Think of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll^TM pop if you have to. Just don't doze off!"

Looking ahead, though, the tracks twisted and turned, sometimes going left, sometimes going right, that one time going in a whole circle until they realized it was a poorly designed naturally occurring roundabout. But they got off it and kept going. And as they were going, there was a familiar looking figure ahead, a mischief causer, a guy with balloons on his shoulders and a fan on his back... Blimp Man in the flesh!

---

A farm up north

Blank State found the farm he was looking for, all right. With a bunch of cows

(, cows that once had almost ended the world if you are familiar with previous Infinites' arcs and if you're not, don't worry about it)

. The villain got ready to start his mischief, cow tipping and wiping the minds so no one would know he had been there!

Meanwhile, up ahead, there was a faint green glow. It was glowing green, because, this farm just conveniently happened to be close to the site of the fallen meteor. Again, how about those coincidences not at all controlled by an external, outside will!

---

Hong Kong
Psychotic Customs Agent

As the Grandmaster Yuan got outside the car, the psychotic customs agent made him take the breathalyzer test. He made him walk in a straight line. He made him say the Chinese alphabet. He made him say the Chinese alphabet fast. He made him jump on one leg. Anything, anything, to prove that this man was a spy and not an honest man that he was just harassing.

So far, the man had passed all the tests. Which meant, the psychotic customs agent was only going to have to come up with some more stringent tests. He would get to the truth! He said as much to Grandmaster Yuan. "I will get to the truth!"

(What, you expected brilliant conversation from this nutjob?)

[Danubian Peoples]

[Hey, can we please snip quotes around here more? Seeing things once and only once really makes it easier to follow. Just a request.]

The Spotlight
'Yes. Blimp, Man. Well, judging by that there won't be much of it for me to swing at,' sneered the Spotlight. 'I've heared of that traitor. Betrayed the Infinites? Despicable. None of these fine lads and lassies would betray the infinites now? Right. You better not leave for the tourism industry..'

The Spotlight activated his power and shone a light on the adversary.

'I'll be sure to beat every last wind out of those arms of yours! That is if I can reach them of course. Can any of us fly? Maybe I can go balloon popping with these lights.'

Spotlight, of a scientific background knew that if focused into a tight enough beam, his flashlight eyes could be used as laser pointers that could pop Blimp Man's balloons. Of course he's have to make sure Blimp Man was a safe distance from the ground-something which he's more than happy to ignore considering that the human body has somehow turned to jelly over the years. Unfortunately, the law requires that evildoers be sent to authorities in a 'sendable' state. (OOC: Old timey comics cared not for fall logic-this guy is old timey and works by the old-timey standard. Also, is Blimp Man on the ground? If so, then assume he's saying this stuff in preparation for when he inevitably takes flight)

[Speyland]

In a field
Cam Rastand, the guy dressed like a moose

As the villains sorted out their plans as to how to capture the runaway moose, the amateur photographer Cam Rastand called out. "Oy. Youse guys can folla me. I was going to change locations anyway and go a little deeper into the forest." The man was somewhat oblivious, it seemed, not noticing the outlandish superhero costumes designed on a poor man's budget, let alone Diana's references to stopping time or the Mite's suddenly appearing gold cartoon stars. As the villains hashed out their plans, the amateur photographer dressed like a moose led the way further into the forest.

After going a ways, the photographer who was leading the way held up his hand. "Quiet! Thought I heard a noise!" Tiptoeing through the undergrowth, the photographer looked ahead. Two things caught his eye. One, a man! In another outlandish costume, purple and yellow, with a staple remover in his hands! And the second, an odd, somewhat glowing rock...

The photographer said, "Look, I think that guy is lost. Why don't you guys help him out or something? I want to go take a few pictures." Fortunately, none of the other villains had seen the odd, somewhat glowing rock! How about those coincidences not at all controlled by an external, outside will!

---

Tracking behind Warstory
Captain Calculator

It was one thing to hear the same stories again and again. But it was another thing to hear Warstory tell the same stories again and again. Every ounce of his body was... a lot of ounces, if you think about it. But more importantly, the stories were pretty boring and Calculator felt himself dozing off several times. The names, dates, places, and storylines all jumbled into one long jumble of stuff he couldn't keep straight. As Warstory led the way through the underbrush, tracking down a trail of what looked to be some vehicle of villains going on their way to cause mischief, Calculator willed himself to stay awake. "Think," he thought. "Think of anything. Think of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll^TM pop if you have to. Just don't doze off!"

Looking ahead, though, the tracks twisted and turned, sometimes going left, sometimes going right, that one time going in a whole circle until they realized it was a poorly designed naturally occurring roundabout. But they got off it and kept going. And as they were going, there was a familiar looking figure ahead, a mischief causer, a guy with balloons on his shoulders and a fan on his back... Blimp Man in the flesh!

---

A farm up north

Blank State found the farm he was looking for, all right. With a bunch of cows

(, cows that once had almost ended the world if you are familiar with previous Infinites' arcs and if you're not, don't worry about it)

. The villain got ready to start his mischief, cow tipping and wiping the minds so no one would know he had been there!

Meanwhile, up ahead, there was a faint green glow. It was glowing green, because, this farm just conveniently happened to be close to the site of the fallen meteor. Again, how about those coincidences not at all controlled by an external, outside will!

---

Hong Kong
Psychotic Customs Agent

As the Grandmaster Yuan got outside the car, the psychotic customs agent made him take the breathalyzer test. He made him walk in a straight line. He made him say the Chinese alphabet. He made him say the Chinese alphabet fast. He made him jump on one leg. Anything, anything, to prove that this man was a spy and not an honest man that he was just harassing.

So far, the man had passed all the tests. Which meant, the psychotic customs agent was only going to have to come up with some more stringent tests. He would get to the truth! He said as much to Grandmaster Yuan. "I will get to the truth!"

(What, you expected brilliant conversation from this nutjob?)

The Grandmaster frowns at the psychotic customs agent for his stupidity. "Well, get on with it!"

[Brancoveanic Transylvania]

Diana looked in confusion at the staple-remover man, seeing his bright costume and all. "What the... who is this man, and what's with the staple remover?"

"I guess he just really likes... removing staples? Perhaps somebody lost that thing." The Time said. "Eh, leave 'im. He's not worth our time."
Diana then slowly walked around before she bumped into a smartly dressed little girl, the girl falling back with her comic in hand, seemingly a purple, glittery manga. "Ah! Wha..." She said, before noticing the girl. "Er.... doctor... there appears to be a child here. She might be lost, per se..." She said with an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Lost? Oh, non non non... The comic book said I'd be here! It's my new adventure!" She cheerfully said as Diana was even more confused, looking into the page...

One day, after passing the scene of an unfortunate accident, Marie decided to go along a lovely journey on the side of the road.
She walked, and walked, and walked. Then she found a cute squirrel, and decided to chase it, until she got lost.

A mosquito bit her arm, and it was very itchy, causing Marie to get irritated, so she walked her anger off and bumped into some very strange people, which would lead to...

Diana was puzzled. "...and it's all in French. I'm... I can't even comprehend this. Things were much simpler in the 1880s."

The Mite, cast on a headlight in the meantime, simply sighed. "Is nobody going to notice the big elephant in the room?" He said as a cartoon elephant appeared next to him, which he wacked away with an oversized baseball bat off his screen. "NOT YOU! I mean that glowing rock!" He said, the word being bleeped by some external voice and mistaken for an extremely offensive swearword by most, Diana going to cover the small girl's ears while expressing shock.

[Zjaum]

Henry "Blimp Man" Hinshaw

In a curiosity about which Henry had no time to ponder, the Infinites were right there on the side of the highway. He didn't even have to find them; he just saw a new guy in the group shine a big white beam of light just above him. Why was anyone's guess; everyone knew that his floating powers functioned more like a hot air balloon than an actual blimp. In fact, the only reason why he... ahem... why everyone else called him that nickname was because it sounded much catchier than "Hot Air Balloon Man."

Regardless, while poking a hole in his supposed "blimp" wasn't going to do all that much, the tarp might catch on fire in the worst case scenario. The concept of crashing four or five hundred feet into the sky (Get this Charlie, get this Charlie, one of the worst catastrophes in the world) didn't quite gel with him. He decided instead to bring himself safely to the ground. He wrapped up his tarp and carried it in front of him like a Tanuki. He trudged through the snow and rushed to Calculator. "Where is Aubree?"


Aubree "Goldilocks" Lincoln

Aubree felt her mind going numb. She'd felt bad inside, ever since she talked to that very strange man. A deep, dark feeling from the depth of her gut emerged, and it wasn't the need to go to the bathroom like usual. Well, she still did, but that wasn't the point. All the thoughts floating through her head jumbled together and, as a single unit, faded into nothingness, leaving behind...

"Hey... Hey guys? I think... I really think that I should be a-"

She was jolted out of her thoughts by an old friend shaking her shoulders. "Wake up! Snap out of it! Speak to me, golly gosh darn it!"

"He- Hey, Henry. How about you be a tour guide with me?"

"Oh, no, she's already got duxpretia! And I don't even know if there's a cure! Come back! You're the one person who can keep me sane! For Pete's sake, return to the light!"

"No, but you'd be surprised the kind of employment benefits they provide in the tourism industry..."

Henry held her seemingly-lifeless body in his arms. It was cold, though likely more so from the laughably low specific heat of gold than the lack of life force. He didn't know what else to do. There was only one thing that could possibly lift the spell. He reached in and- on second thought, the Jefferson Infinites were family to him. Kissing someone in the family would be... weird, man. Plus, the relationship would never be the same again, and you know... A hug would suffice.

He hugged her for a good, solid minute. After heart-pounding seconds of despair, Aubree's conscious self regained control. "Henry, what are you doing here? I thought you went back home to remodel your hole."

"Oh, thank goodness, you're still alive! I thought I'd lost you!"

"...Was I unconscious? Wait, why are you hugging me? Did you... You still have feelings for Yellow Rose!"

Henry looked into the distance and sighed. "Yeah, she really did beat the snot out of those Bell Brothers back in Knoxville. But no, it was merely hugging. I think you were suffering from some sort of Minnesota-specific illness called duxpretia. You're better now, I hope. Oh, and my hole's almost done. You guys are all welcome to see it, if you want!"

Goldilocks nodded to herself. "That'd be nice! Plus... I kinda need to go to the bathroom."


Miles "Staple Remover Man" Petersen

He had found it. He had found the moose. Phase Uno of his plan was complete. Now he only needed to follow the moose around to wait for it to be hunted! The seeds of hard work were growing into large prickly weeds of justice! Why, it was especially useful because the moose was well illuminated by a certain glowing source, some nearby rock. That was no matter; he could worry about starting up his own rock collection once the city was free of scum and villainy!

But wait... who was that in the distance? Why, it was none other than some lady and some girl. They couldn't possibly be related! This must be a case of stranger danger! I mean, they both had light, curly hair. And the age difference seemed to be right for a mother-daughter relationship. But no, no, it must have been some manner of wrongdoing!

Staple Remover, after he dissected the two, bisected the two. "In the name of justice, I have come to ask you, tallish blonde lady, specifically why you are in this geographic region at this moment with this girl! Answer quickly, for you will otherwise have to feel the wrath of my staple remover! Its blades can tear apart the very fabric of reality itself!" For dramatic effect, Miles performed a magic trick in which he made a certain model CS-540 disappear into his sleeves, to pull an identical CS-540 appear out of his other sleeve. Villains had best beware! Not the dozen foes behind the blonde lady, just her and her allies for now.

[Brancoveanic Transylvania]

Miles "Staple Remover Man" Petersen

He had found it. He had found the moose. Phase Uno of his plan was complete. Now he only needed to follow the moose around to wait for it to be hunted! The seeds of hard work were growing into large prickly weeds of justice! Why, it was especially useful because the moose was well illuminated by a certain glowing source, some nearby rock. That was no matter; he could worry about starting up his own rock collection once the city was free of scum and villainy!

But wait... who was that in the distance? Why, it was none other than some lady and some girl. They couldn't possibly be related! This must be a case of stranger danger! I mean, they both had light, curly hair. And the age difference seemed to be right for a mother-daughter relationship. But no, no, it must have been some manner of wrongdoing!

Staple Remover, after he dissected the two, bisected the two. "In the name of justice, I have come to ask you, tallish blonde lady, specifically why you are in this geographic region at this moment with this girl! Answer quickly, for you will otherwise have to feel the wrath of my staple remover! Its blades can tear apart the very fabric of reality itself!" For dramatic effect, Miles performed a magic trick in which he made a certain model CS-540 disappear into his sleeves, to pull an identical CS-540 appear out of his other sleeve. Villains had best beware! Not the dozen foes behind the blonde lady, just her and her allies for now.

DIA & Prophetie
Diana then turned around, her face seeming to be surprised at the extremely peculiar Staple Remover Man, who hopefully would mistake it for an elaborate costume; after all, pointed ears, slit eyes and sharp fangs inside her mouth all pointed towards a more sinister creature resembling a beautiful blonde... albeit standing next to a little girl in a fedora and leather jacket.
"O-oh! Sorry, I just got lost, and this nice lady just helped me ou-" She said as Diana pushed her aside.
"Let me deal with this." She said, striding towards him. "It seems you, yourself, are quite lost. The outfit isn't exactly matching either... you're more dressed for a circus than anything. tell me, what is someone like you doing in this desolate wildland?" She said as suddenly a sparkle was heard, and another page suddenly materialised in the little girl's comic, the girl not noticing as she was watching the two.

After meeting the strange yellow vampire lady, Marie decided to follow her, coming across an odd fellow with staple removers in his hand.

The two got into an argument, until a cute little bunny appeared nearby, the adorable rabbit looking up at Diana while munching on a carrot. She picked it up...

...and punted it like a football across the field!

Her ghost got all upset, but then they suddenly decided to follow the rabbit's trajectory after it popped its' head up, showing it was still alive...

...where they found some treasure and gems! "Hooray, we're rich!" They cheered.

[Talchyon]

In a field with the enemy
Glitch

It was like, epicly. The good guys. And then the bad guy. And we had him kind of like, in front of us. And our brave friend, like Mr. Shiny Light guy, was like so on him! Trying to pierce through his balloon, so he might not balloon as much. Because, like, y'know? Ballooning is like, unsafe to environment or something like that. I didn't quite get what he was meaning when he said that his powers work more like a balloon and not like a blimp? Aren't they, like, the same? So like, when you see a game on the tube, and it's like the GoodYear is up in the sky and getting free publicity an' all? I just thought they called it the Blimp and not the Hot Air Balloon 'cause, it was shaped like a blimp. And I thought Hot Air Balloon guy was like, actually this villain's name? So, when he was sayin' that it's like, not his name? That was epic.

Comic book companies? You guys better pay attention to that wrinkle.

But it was all chill afterward. Like the golden girl with the really bad bladder problem on our squad kinda knows him? Like, from back in the day when they were, also, back in the day. And now they still know each other and it's today. Call me a rocket scientist if you wish, but that all adds up to like the opposite of friction?

So, to make a short story even longer, I was ok not fightin' this time. When he invited us over to check out his digs, I was all there. Like, dude, I can't fly! And I told that to Mr. Shiny Light Guy on our side, and he just kinda had to think about it I guess, 'cause, that's the standard for me, y'know?

An' I said to the actually pretty friendly bad guy who wanted like a break and not to beat us to a pulp? "Dude! I am so with you at your digs! I'll bring the paper towels!"

---

In a field with the villains, the new villain, the hero, and the strangely unnoticed except by some glowing rock
Cam Rastand, amateur photographer dressed like a moose decoy

As the villains both welcomed the wandering French girl with a comic book, as well as the guy in the poorly designed purple and yellow superhero suit that no one in their right mind would ever wear, only the Mite had noticed what Cam did. And ignoring the cartoon elephant that had popped in and out, as well as the interestingly timed censor who apparently acted publicly for the first time in his life, Cam just shook his head at the oddity of it and went over to the check out the glowing rock.

Why he was checking it out, when he was hungry and hadn't had a bite since breakfast, he didn't know. All Cam knew was that if they didn't find the moose soon, he should just call it a day and go back in town. Maybe to that Chinese food restaurant... Hmm! And with the thought of eggrolls and Mu Shu Pork on his mind, the amateur photographer reached for the rock, and the light coming from it grew brighter...

---

Hong Kong
Psychotic customs agent

Looking at the man who was clearly a spy and not just some guy who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, the psychotic customs agent sneered. "The truth! You wish you knew the truth! That's why you came to spy! That's why..."

But the nutjob with a uniform broke off. He couldn't help but cover his eyes, because the normal daylight was getting brighter and brighter!

"What? What is this? Why is the sun getting blindingly bright? Agh!" Wrapping his spare arm around his eyes, the customs agent did what he could to shield his sight...

---

Captain Calculator

As he was considering whether or not the invitation to Blimp Man's house was a trap, all of a sudden the evening sky began to light up blindingly. Covering his eyes, Calculator cried out, "What sick madness is this?"

And there was a large rumbling!

---

Florida Man

While everyone else had been occupied with the new additions to their group, the villains and the guy with the staple removers, Florida Man had instead found himself attacked by a coyote! However, reaching into the folds of his costume, he somehow came up with his lucky coffee cup and used it is as a weapon! He got a couple of blows in, stunning the creature before it could bite!

And then, when the sky was lighting up in a blinding way, the earth started shaking, and the coyote ran off! To the others who were protecting their eyesight, Florida Man tried to say, "I smashed him..." But nobody was paying attention to him, because the rumbling was too dramatic!

And then it stopped.

And everyone, villains, heroes, normals, furry forest creatures, etc., took a while to get re-adjusted to what should have been normal. Just a typical Minnesota evening. Other than the bright spots that their eyes were seeing...

But as their eyes adjusted, they could tell something weird had just happened.

Right now, where there should have been a field and a forest, there was now a city. A city with signs that were all in Chinese, with a few English words thrown in!

Cam Rastand came back to the group, a small rock in his hand that once had been glowing, but now looked just like an ordinary rock. Stunned, he couldn't come up with any words.

---

Coathangerman

When the city appeared out of nowhere, Coathangerman looked in confusion at the Chinese writing. "Weren't we just in a field? Now we're in China!?"

But it wasn't China. Not exactly. Nor was it the small area of Orient affectionately known as Little China, at least by Coathangerman, because it was the block the Chinese food restaurant was on. That same Chinese food restaurant, that is, that was owned and staffed completely by white people of Scandinavian descent who said Shakopee with a very pronounced Minnesota accent. But hey! Their Kung Pao Beef was pretty decent, so Coathangerman wasn't complaining!

No, it wasn't China at all. Some of the signs that the Infinites could read said the name of the town in several places. It wasn't China.

It was Hong Kong. And right up ahead, was a guy in uniform making some other guy outside of a mailtruck walk in a straight line and take a breathalyzer!

Coathangerman said, "That guy must be some kind of police officer, and that other guy must have been driving after having too much to drink! Let's make sure we help the policeman take this guy in! I don't know if we're in Hong Kong now or not - especially since it's still dark outside and you'd think Hong Kong would have daylight right now. But Infinites are Infinites, no matter where! Let's help that police officer arrest that drunk driver!"

---

Hong Kong?
Psychotic Customs agent

The intense rumbling subsided. The sun had gone suddenly down and it had become night just like that. And now the man who had been convinced that Grandmaster Yuan was a spy, noticed that he had company.

Company in the form of a bunch of weirdos wearing spandex.

Instead of launching into trumped up charges that they, too, were spies, the customs agent simply looked puzzled and said, "Huh?"

Huh indeed.

[Speyland]

In a field with the enemy
Glitch

It was like, epicly. The good guys. And then the bad guy. And we had him kind of like, in front of us. And our brave friend, like Mr. Shiny Light guy, was like so on him! Trying to pierce through his balloon, so he might not balloon as much. Because, like, y'know? Ballooning is like, unsafe to environment or something like that. I didn't quite get what he was meaning when he said that his powers work more like a balloon and not like a blimp? Aren't they, like, the same? So like, when you see a game on the tube, and it's like the GoodYear is up in the sky and getting free publicity an' all? I just thought they called it the Blimp and not the Hot Air Balloon 'cause, it was shaped like a blimp. And I thought Hot Air Balloon guy was like, actually this villain's name? So, when he was sayin' that it's like, not his name? That was epic.

Comic book companies? You guys better pay attention to that wrinkle.

But it was all chill afterward. Like the golden girl with the really bad bladder problem on our squad kinda knows him? Like, from back in the day when they were, also, back in the day. And now they still know each other and it's today. Call me a rocket scientist if you wish, but that all adds up to like the opposite of friction?

So, to make a short story even longer, I was ok not fightin' this time. When he invited us over to check out his digs, I was all there. Like, dude, I can't fly! And I told that to Mr. Shiny Light Guy on our side, and he just kinda had to think about it I guess, 'cause, that's the standard for me, y'know?

An' I said to the actually pretty friendly bad guy who wanted like a break and not to beat us to a pulp? "Dude! I am so with you at your digs! I'll bring the paper towels!"

---

In a field with the villains, the new villain, the hero, and the strangely unnoticed except by some glowing rock
Cam Rastand, amateur photographer dressed like a moose decoy

As the villains both welcomed the wandering French girl with a comic book, as well as the guy in the poorly designed purple and yellow superhero suit that no one in their right mind would ever wear, only the Mite had noticed what Cam did. And ignoring the cartoon elephant that had popped in and out, as well as the interestingly timed censor who apparently acted publicly for the first time in his life, Cam just shook his head at the oddity of it and went over to the check out the glowing rock.

Why he was checking it out, when he was hungry and hadn't had a bite since breakfast, he didn't know. All Cam knew was that if they didn't find the moose soon, he should just call it a day and go back in town. Maybe to that Chinese food restaurant... Hmm! And with the thought of eggrolls and Mu Shu Pork on his mind, the amateur photographer reached for the rock, and the light coming from it grew brighter...

---

Hong Kong
Psychotic customs agent

Looking at the man who was clearly a spy and not just some guy who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, the psychotic customs agent sneered. "The truth! You wish you knew the truth! That's why you came to spy! That's why..."

But the nutjob with a uniform broke off. He couldn't help but cover his eyes, because the normal daylight was getting brighter and brighter!

"What? What is this? Why is the sun getting blindingly bright? Agh!" Wrapping his spare arm around his eyes, the customs agent did what he could to shield his sight...

---

Captain Calculator

As he was considering whether or not the invitation to Blimp Man's house was a trap, all of a sudden the evening sky began to light up blindingly. Covering his eyes, Calculator cried out, "What sick madness is this?"

And there was a large rumbling!

---

Florida Man

While everyone else had been occupied with the new additions to their group, the villains and the guy with the staple removers, Florida Man had instead found himself attacked by a coyote! However, reaching into the folds of his costume, he somehow came up with his lucky coffee cup and used it is as a weapon! He got a couple of blows in, stunning the creature before it could bite!

And then, when the sky was lighting up in a blinding way, the earth started shaking, and the coyote ran off! To the others who were protecting their eyesight, Florida Man tried to say, "I smashed him..." But nobody was paying attention to him, because the rumbling was too dramatic!

And then it stopped.

And everyone, villains, heroes, normals, furry forest creatures, etc., took a while to get re-adjusted to what should have been normal. Just a typical Minnesota evening. Other than the bright spots that their eyes were seeing...

But as their eyes adjusted, they could tell something weird had just happened.

Right now, where there should have been a field and a forest, there was now a city. A city with signs that were all in Chinese, with a few English words thrown in!

Cam Rastand came back to the group, a small rock in his hand that once had been glowing, but now looked just like an ordinary rock. Stunned, he couldn't come up with any words.

---

Coathangerman

When the city appeared out of nowhere, Coathangerman looked in confusion at the Chinese writing. "Weren't we just in a field? Now we're in China!?"

But it wasn't China. Not exactly. Nor was it the small area of Orient affectionately known as Little China, at least by Coathangerman, because it was the block the Chinese food restaurant was on. That same Chinese food restaurant, that is, that was owned and staffed completely by white people of Scandinavian descent who said Shakopee with a very pronounced Minnesota accent. But hey! Their Kung Pao Beef was pretty decent, so Coathangerman wasn't complaining!

No, it wasn't China at all. Some of the signs that the Infinites could read said the name of the town in several places. It wasn't China.

It was Hong Kong. And right up ahead, was a guy in uniform making some other guy outside of a mailtruck walk in a straight line and take a breathalyzer!

Coathangerman said, "That guy must be some kind of police officer, and that other guy must have been driving after having too much to drink! Let's make sure we help the policeman take this guy in! I don't know if we're in Hong Kong now or not - especially since it's still dark outside and you'd think Hong Kong would have daylight right now. But Infinites are Infinites, no matter where! Let's help that police officer arrest that drunk driver!"

---

Hong Kong?
Psychotic Customs agent

The intense rumbling subsided. The sun had gone suddenly down and it had become night just like that. And now the man who had been convinced that Grandmaster Yuan was a spy, noticed that he had company.

Company in the form of a bunch of weirdos wearing spandex.

Instead of launching into trumped up charges that they, too, were spies, the customs agent simply looked puzzled and said, "Huh?"

Huh indeed.

The Grandmaster couldn't wait to escape from the psychotic customs agent. "Now's my chance!" The Grandmaster said as he ran as fast as he could to the street away from them.