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Talchyon
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The Infinites - Infinite Gauntlet (Comedy, Supers) - IC

Postby Talchyon » Sat Sep 28, 2019 5:02 am

THE INFINITES: INFINITE GAUNTLET
THE NEW ARC




Image






CHAPTER ONE: SKIPPING STONES


Since the town of Orient is like many small towns, their newspaper comes out once a week, on Wednesday. Here's what the Orient newspaper had in it this week...

News from the Orient

vol. 89, no. 133, September 25, 2019


"METEOR STRIKE"

by Randall Gervious, beat reporter


The unique meteor crash that lit up the sky Tuesday night was a sight to see. Amateur photographers throughout the area have sent in pictures of this interesting event. This natural phenomena has all Orient talking. The meteor (as pictured below) fell just miles north of town in the field of Mr. John Dirtpoor, a local farmer. The field itself has been humorously nicknamed by Dirtpoor as "Fifty Shades of Hay."
There has been some interest state-wide from scientists wishing to come to Orient and see the meteor. It's not every day that a scientific discovery falls out of the sky. Anyone who visits can be sure to see why Orient is such a great community to live in.


Image


"MOOSE TRAILS"

by Sheila Weston, beat reporter


After last week's humorous episode with the moose that found its way inside Jen and Mo's grocery store, locals have responded in a bunch of creative ways. Second-grader Ryan Aikenopray thinks that new moose traps should be designed that look like grocery stores. Amateur photographer Cam Rastand wants to find the moose in the wild and make a photographic montage to enter into next year's county fair. And as for Jen and Mo? They're just happy the moose was finally taken out, thanks to St. Paul visitor Nappy McDowell, self-proclaimed moose expert. (Last week's issue had an interview with Mr. McDowell and has been well-received by readers as well as other journalists).

Image

The exclusive shot from last week



"WATCH THE CLOCK"

by Everette White, beat reporter


City officials have deployed maintenance workers across the town to synchronize the local clocks. After the recent malfunction of even the digital and atomic clocks in town, where each clock showed a different time, workers are going to check each public clock and make sure they are in good working order. County residents are encouraged to make sure their watches are working properly, and if not, to purchase a new watch. City officials do not expect this isolated incident to happen again.

Image







Now onto our story...
Someplace where people give monologues, think like a dark stage in front of a curtain with a spotlight. Or something like that.
Glitch


They say that every epic saga has to start in the most unlikely of places. Like, Tattooine, which was like, not the best place to find working moisture vaporators if you know what I'm talking about. Or like, dude, what about Krypton when it's all going to kingdom come and the only one saved is a baby in a spaceship, except if you count those 3 bad guys trapped in the wimpiest jail ever, or practically every other bad guy that came from there to challenge Superman?! Sometimes I wonder if I'm from Krypton and I just don't know it. Maybe I am. I could say I am. But there are a few people who would doubt that. Haters, all of them, though, like, they might prefer to moniker themselves as "realists."

My name's Shawn, but everyone calls me Glitch. That's because I like being called "Glitch" and not "Shawn," so, like, I always introduce myself as Glitch and not by real name. Superheroes don't introduce themselves as their real name. Unless they're like under interrogation drugs or something. Or they're Iron Man. Or they're Iron Man under interrogation drugs. Because when you do that, you need to have a pretty sizeable re-su-may. And me? I'm still workin' on mine.

See, I make things suck. No, not like vaccuum cleaner suck. Some day I want to see a vaccuum cleaner company have the slogan, "We really suck. Buy our product." But when I make things suck, I make them like not work. And it could be vaccuum cleaners. But it's not just like limited to that, y'know. And I can also make people dumb for a little bit, but only if you want them to also like rebound to genius levels afterward, so I don't always use that one unless I have a need to.

Where was I? All I can see is a spotlight shining in my face.

Oh right. I was talking about epic sagas beginning in the most unlikely of places. And if they ever turn "epic" into a verb, like dude. I'm all on it. I want to be the first to epic. I will epic my way on over to get a shake, and then like, epic my way back. S'like, I was epicking that night. We all were. It was our traditional weekly Minnesota Infinites' meeting that proves that we still matter. But we didn't know what was to come...


Date - A Thursday, Sep. 26, 2019
Time - 7:00 p.m. CST
Place - The Orient, Minnesota town Legion Hall, room #2.


The meeting of the Minnesota Infinites was under way. Captain Calculator stood at the front, leading it. It had begun the typical way, with people chitchatting about nothing in general until it was some minutes past the time they were supposed to start. And trying to find Infinites who had gone to the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting next door by mistake. And shuffling recovering alcoholics from their room back to the other room. But nothing says the beginning of the Infinites' weekly meeting like everyone rising and saying the Minnesota Infinites' pledge. New members were handed out a sheet of paper with the following on it. Most of the people there just mumbled through it, except for Glitch who was completely enthralled with getting a comic book title, and Captain Calculator, who took pride in it. And they all rose and said it together...

"I am a superhero.
I am not weak or weenie.
I am worthy of taking down supervillains.
I am worthy of getting a comic book someday.
I will use my super abilities for good, not evil.
I am an Infinite! No, really!"



After that, the meeting was a typical meeting. Coathangerman had found 75 more cents to contribute to the general fund. The Teetotaler had gotten a Kleenex for someone who had a cold, but he was out of uniform, so it probably won't get written up in the papers. He also had received a phone contact from a comic book company! However, it was just the sales department, offering Teetotaler a $2 discount on a subscription. So while he had his hopes up that maybe the Minnesota Infinites were going to get more recognition nation-wide, it was a false alarm. Still, it was nice to be noticed. There was no old business. New business was the introduction of the newest members of the Minnesota Infinites. And then, the meeting broke up for their traditional dessert and socialization that someone always brought.

Someone did stop and get dessert for the meeting, right?




Meanwhile, across town
Ulterior Motive Man's house basement
The villains gather...


In the cramped basement, the lights dimmed, a villainous figure was clad in a treacherous costume covered in shades of red, black and line items. It was a fitting costume for the master of all things bureaucracy, Doctor Bureaucracy (or as he was called, "Doc Bur-Ock"). But few wanted to say that to him, lest he launch into a conversation on the ideal amount of signatures required on a civic petition to advocate for specific costuming materials and the amount of paperwork that generates. He stood at the podium, glared at the villains with a look of bored contempt that only one who has spent at least 20 years in the underbelly of society as a civil servant has.

"Welcome, villains, one and all, to our meeting. The first order of business is, once again, our group name. As you know, some time ago (has it been three years already?), we once went by the name, The Orient, Minnesota Super Villains' Club. However, there was a 3/4 majority vote at a duly called meeting that proposed a constitutional amendment to change the name. That amendment was studied, sent back to the committee, returned, sent back again, and returned once more at our last meeting. After looking upon it, we managed to pass this amendment with the required 3/4 majority of the quorum that was present, which is in fact a 2/3 majority of all villains when not present. So, on first glance, it would seem that we are going to have a new name after all this time. However..." (and here the villains as a group collectively groaned and cast their eyes of dismay on the ground, not that Doc Bur-Ock noticed), "However, we failed to fill out the secondary dominance necessary form of included gap-measures that we approved 7 meetings ago, at the special meeting with an approved quorum of 3, and then affirmed when we approved the minutes of the previous three meetings. And we likewise not only didn't fill out that form. We failed... to notarize it too! So I'm sorry to have to announce that the procedure has stalled, and we still have no real group name. The good news is, we're getting closer to that final stage."

(There was a reason that none of the villains wanted the job of chairman of the Villains' club. They would have to deal with Doc Bur-Ock's endless bureaucratese speeches and motions, that they all realized this would drive them insane. And while some of them were technically already insane, those guys didn't want the job, either).

Doc Bur-Ock cleared his throat. "Ahem. Moving on. On the agenda is the same question: How are we going to humiliate the Minnesota Infinites this week? Any ideas? Anyone?"

A villain stepped forward, in a costume both blue-ish and sandy colored. An outline of a southeastern state was portrayed broadly across his chest. It was a fitting outfit for the villain named, Florida Man.

"Yeah, boss. So, I was looking at something online recently..."

Doc Bur-Ock began to look annoyed. "Does that have anything to do with humiliating the Infinites?"

"Ok, well, no. I was Googling myself, because I was having an identity crisis and had to find out who I really was. But that's not important. Because, after I did that, I saw the local newspaper, and had a great idea."

Doc Bur-Ock's annoyed look didn't change. "Go on."

Florida Man said, "What was the most important item in the local news this week? I'll give you a hint. It was something so devious, so underhanded, so wrong - that I knew we had to involve it somehow."

Doc Bur-Ock thought he could see where this was going. "So, you're suggesting we take this large meteor that fell to earth and find some way to throw it at the Infinites and squish them?" And he got a big, evil smile!

Florida Man just looked confused. "Um. No. Not exactly. Who cares about a dumb old rock? No, I meant that we should find that moose that wandered into the grocery store, and capture it, and then sic it on the Infinites. They'll be too busy fighting off this moose, that they won't notice us stealing their ride!"

Doc Bur-Ock thought about it. It could work. If the Infinites didn't have their Infinite-mobile, they could hardly chase after the villains, could they? And they'd have to walk or heaven forbid, jog. He began to nod.

"Ok. Let's go find that moose! And then, that will be the first step in the downfall of the Minnesota Infinites!"

The meeting was, typically, rudely interrupted when Ulterior Motive Man's mother came downstairs and began dusting every shelf, wooden surface, and chair that the villains were sitting in. In typical villain fashion, the meeting was quickly adjourned and the villains all shuffled outside.




A press conference
Los Angeles


Glancing out at the angry crowd gathered, the woman closed her eyes and wished she were somewhere else. This had become a nightmare. Not only was the crowd seething. Their angry signs were already held in the air and shouts were already filling the air. If she could have been anywhere else, she would have. But Slipstream had to announce their latest failure to an already frenzied audience. Innocent blood had been spilled. Again. Countless lives were lost. And for what?

How the mighty had fallen in the last three years. In the beginning, when she had first joined the West Coast Infinites, the people at their press conferences were more thankful. Grateful, even while being crushed in spirit at the destruction they had been forced to endure. She and the others were the heroes of the day. People looked up to them who had done what they could, sometimes saving their city and even more from far worse destruction. Capturing villains who threatened the weak. Combating those powerful enough to defy authority, and challenge even the mightiest. They had been heroes... once.

Now, the West Coast Infinites - and practically all other Infinites' groups were hated. Three years ago the public's hearts had turned against them, and now it was a struggle to get any approval. The public dearly remembered the massacre that members of their group had brought about while under mind control. Members of the West Coast Infinites had killed their former leader, Nightshade, at the governor's inauguration. Later, at the national cemetery in Arlington, VA, she herself had been crippled while four former teammates had ripped their team to shreds. Others lost their lives. Many were injured. None were immune to the horror that enveloped that day.

But it didn't end there. Since then, the West Coast Infinites - and many more like them, had been hunted down. One by one, by this group of brainwashed people she used to know as friends. The public didn't know who to trust when their former heroes now became their attackers. And if the mightiest could be heroes one day and weapons of mass destruction the next?! No one was immune. No one was to be trusted. It didn't matter that they finally ended the onslaught. It didn't matter that the West Coast Infinites rebounded and came back. Because now, every little failure was magnified. Every time they could not succeed as they hoped, the public laid it on. The press no longer looked up to their former heroes, but both feared them as well as antagonized them. The news coverage always cast things in the most negative of light. Accidents were made to look intentional. Good things done were either ignored or seen as part of an ulterior motive. Some in the public had taken to shooting them (!) in broad daylight, as they came back tired from fighting or as they were out and about around town. If that was all, they might be able to ride it out. Save the citizens again. Win back respect. But when other Infinites - former Infinites, in her mind - began attacking them too? When the Infinites were in an all-out civil war against each other, and no one knew who they could trust? What can you do?

And who could they trust? Those "heroes" who had been previously mind-controlled, and caused damage? If it happened once, it could happen again. No one really knew what happened to Mindbender three years ago. Maybe he was dead as the rumor mill went. But Mindbender could have survived. Or someone like him could rise up again. Or those formerly controlled Infinites could lapse. It had happened to a few already. So no, you can't trust them. But former friends were now enemies. Rivals at the best, but combatants more likely than not.

This last attack had been devastating. A bomber had blown up their former headquarters, and several buildings nearby. Slipstream had an idea who it was. The former Infinite Jury. The guy had cracked. She had seen it coming, and couldn't stop him. But this made the already angry public even more incensed. And Slipstream had to be the messenger to come before them.

Before the bombing, Slipstream had dug deep into the files to see if there was anything out there to fix things. Anything. And while there were all kinds of plans of prototype advanced tech out there, there wasn't anything in store to help bring about the stability they needed. Until she found a few thin files, mostly with unsubstantiated rumors. And there were these things called Infinite Rocks. She didn't know whether to believe these wild speculations or to shake her head in dismay. Rocks? Seriously? But according to what was in those thin files, these Infinite Rocks had powers beyond what even the West Coast Infinites had. And while there were some that she could tell were not going to help in the slightest, one stood out. It was called the Time Rock. Legends said this had been used so that the wielder could go back or forward in time. That was something Slipstream could not get out of her mind. To go back in time, before Mindbender? Before the Infinites throughout the U.S. melted down and blew up against each other? A time before the public hated them, back to when they were loved? But that was it. No one knew where these Infinite Rocks were. Of if they even existed. She had been about to laugh the whole thing off, until she found in the file a top secret report from the CIA. (How it had made it's way into the file, Slipstream could only guess). The report was only a few paragraphs, not much, but the deputy director of the CIA himself thought he had witnessed something he described in the same way as one of the Infinite Rocks. The end result? It had caused a small rift or dimensional hole appear for a few seconds - enough time for a physical specimen of some kind to emerge. That had convinced her. Whatever else the rumor mill had created, these Infinite Rocks were not one of them.

So she went looking, from a distance. Her phone regularly received news of odd sightings, weird events, and so on. Most of these could be dismissed as unrelated and frankly unhelpful. But there were a few that had a different tenor to them. Could Infinite Rocks be at the source? The latest odd news came from a small town in Minnesota. Orient, town of 2000. Apparently, they had had some kind of weird meteor recently. And apparently, that hadn't been all. There were other odd things that had happened in that town in the last several years that didn't add up. This small town of Orient might be worthy of checking out. But she'd have to go either alone, or with someone she knew she could trust. Neither option was truly safe...

Breathing in deeply, Slipstream mentally prepared herself to go out and meet the angry press. Tomorrow, she would take a long leave of absence and visit small town Orient, Minnesota, home of odd events, and then see about this mysterious meteor. With that small hope that something could turn out good from it, she stepped out to the press conference, not hovering like she always did but more slumping out, amidst the yells and rage of the public.




A warship, outer space

The robotic drones had found what they were looking for. Data and numbers tumbled across the viewscreen, and they processed it in microseconds. The item in question had been found. "Clever of them," the warlord thought. "To send it on a meteor and try to keep it from me." But the drones had processed where the meteor had gone. And it was there that the warlord would now go. He had a set to complete, a set for his new toy. All he needed were a few little rocks. And now, he knew where to find them. A pathetic little backwards planet called "Earth." Both of them were there, according to the scans and astrometry. Pitiful, really. But the warlord could care less. Once the set was complete, the universe would be forced to their knees in terror.
What would you do if Hong Kong somehow transported itself to right outside a small town in Minnesota? What would you do if an alien warlord was on the way? What would you do if you were a superhero, but only with dorky, lame D-level powers?

You would fit right in with the current IC of the long-running RP comedy series: The Infinites!

Join me for: The Infinites - INFINITE GAUNTLET (OOC) - and Check out the IC page here!

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Speyland
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Posts: 198
Founded: May 19, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Speyland » Sat Sep 28, 2019 12:47 pm

Grandmaster Yuan
October 25, 2019
Xining, China

Yuan is now a wanderer, he couldn't forget the time where he didn't say goodbye to his mother and that he was too busy looking for his father's killer. Another reason is that he wants to become the greatest martial artist in the world but he only use it against fish not humans. Also, his fighting style is completely useless but that doesn't stop him from making his dream come true. "This city is full of crap," Yuan said as he didn't like the city he is living in besides Lhasa, his hometown.

"I'm hungry," complained Yuan as his stomach have been growling since he left his hometown. He went to a nearby fast food restaurant to get something to eat. Inside, there were roughly 20 people in the restaurant. Since he is a supervillain, he made a decision to do a speech. "May I have your attention," he said as the people turned their attention towards him. "It is I, Grandmaster Yuan, who are planning to become the greatest martial artist in the world!" Everyone in the restaurant were so confused about whether or not this is true. The manager of the restaurant appears. "What is this ruckus?" The manager said angrily. "Silence!" Yuan screamed. "O-okay!" The manager said fearfully. "I want everyone to bow before me!" He demanded. The manager notices that something is not right. "Wait a minute, you're not a martial artist." he said. "What do you mean?" Yuan asked. "You're just a imposter!" The manager said. "Very funny, I am a martial artist." He said. "If you really are a martial artist then hit me as hard as you can." The manager demanded. Yuan isn't sure that it is possible to hit a human as it is only effective against fish but he accept it anyway. "F-fine!" Yuan said nervously.

Yuan uses his chi to spread into his fist to cause pain to the manager. The manager is taller than Yuan and he is a little overweight. He punches him to the stomach but it wasn't powerful enough as his chi quickly fades away. "Is that all you got?" The manager asked happily. "It can't be..." Yuan said fearfully. "Don't listen to this guy, he is a psychopath!" The manager said to everyone in the restaurant. "I'm not a-" Yuan was grabbed by the throat by the manager only to get kicked out. "And don't come back to this restaurant ever again!" The manager yelled. Yuan slowly gets up as his body was in pain. He realizes that the manager was right, he is not the greatest martial artist in the world nor a supervillain that he is aiming to be.

The following night, Yuan went to a junkyard to sleep there and that will be his home from now on. He laid down on top of a purple sedan and closes his eyes to visualize himself becoming the greatest martial artist. He opens his eyes to see the moon visible. "I must succeed but I don't know how." He muttered.

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Ameriganastan
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Posts: 45396
Founded: Jul 01, 2008
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Postby Ameriganastan » Sat Sep 28, 2019 5:07 pm

Talchyon wrote:Meanwhile, across town
Ulterior Motive Man's house basement
The villains gather...


In the cramped basement, the lights dimmed, a villainous figure was clad in a treacherous costume covered in shades of red, black and line items. It was a fitting costume for the master of all things bureaucracy, Doctor Bureaucracy (or as he was called, "Doc Bur-Ock"). But few wanted to say that to him, lest he launch into a conversation on the ideal amount of signatures required on a civic petition to advocate for specific costuming materials and the amount of paperwork that generates. He stood at the podium, glared at the villains with a look of bored contempt that only one who has spent at least 20 years in the underbelly of society as a civil servant has.

"Welcome, villains, one and all, to our meeting. The first order of business is, once again, our group name. As you know, some time ago (has it been three years already?), we once went by the name, The Orient, Minnesota Super Villains' Club. However, there was a 3/4 majority vote at a duly called meeting that proposed a constitutional amendment to change the name. That amendment was studied, sent back to the committee, returned, sent back again, and returned once more at our last meeting. After looking upon it, we managed to pass this amendment with the required 3/4 majority of the quorum that was present, which is in fact a 2/3 majority of all villains when not present. So, on first glance, it would seem that we are going to have a new name after all this time. However..." (and here the villains as a group collectively groaned and cast their eyes of dismay on the ground, not that Doc Bur-Ock noticed), "However, we failed to fill out the secondary dominance necessary form of included gap-measures that we approved 7 meetings ago, at the special meeting with an approved quorum of 3, and then affirmed when we approved the minutes of the previous three meetings. And we likewise not only didn't fill out that form. We failed... to notarize it too! So I'm sorry to have to announce that the procedure has stalled, and we still have no real group name. The good news is, we're getting closer to that final stage."

(There was a reason that none of the villains wanted the job of chairman of the Villains' club. They would have to deal with Doc Bur-Ock's endless bureaucratese speeches and motions, that they all realized this would drive them insane. And while some of them were technically already insane, those guys didn't want the job, either).

Doc Bur-Ock cleared his throat. "Ahem. Moving on. On the agenda is the same question: How are we going to humiliate the Minnesota Infinites this week? Any ideas? Anyone?"

A villain stepped forward, in a costume both blue-ish and sandy colored. An outline of a southeastern state was portrayed broadly across his chest. It was a fitting outfit for the villain named, Florida Man.

"Yeah, boss. So, I was looking at something online recently..."

Doc Bur-Ock began to look annoyed. "Does that have anything to do with humiliating the Infinites?"

"Ok, well, no. I was Googling myself, because I was having an identity crisis and had to find out who I really was. But that's not important. Because, after I did that, I saw the local newspaper, and had a great idea."

Doc Bur-Ock's annoyed look didn't change. "Go on."

Florida Man said, "What was the most important item in the local news this week? I'll give you a hint. It was something so devious, so underhanded, so wrong - that I knew we had to involve it somehow."

Doc Bur-Ock thought he could see where this was going. "So, you're suggesting we take this large meteor that fell to earth and find some way to throw it at the Infinites and squish them?" And he got a big, evil smile!

Florida Man just looked confused. "Um. No. Not exactly. Who cares about a dumb old rock? No, I meant that we should find that moose that wandered into the grocery store, and capture it, and then sic it on the Infinites. They'll be too busy fighting off this moose, that they won't notice us stealing their ride!"

Doc Bur-Ock thought about it. It could work. If the Infinites didn't have their Infinite-mobile, they could hardly chase after the villains, could they? And they'd have to walk or heaven forbid, jog. He began to nod.

"Ok. Let's go find that moose! And then, that will be the first step in the downfall of the Minnesota Infinites!"

The meeting was, typically, rudely interrupted when Ulterior Motive Man's mother came downstairs and began dusting every shelf, wooden surface, and chair that the villains were sitting in. In typical villain fashion, the meeting was quickly adjourned and the villains all shuffled outside.

One villain was conspicuously absent as everyone filed out.

"This should do the trick..."

A few moments later, he came barreling outside. Wreathed head to toe in fire.

"HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!"

He shot past the exiting villains, running into the road where a passing car slammed into him, sending him flying about 20 feet. He bounced about 7 times before coming to a stop when he bounced into another car that sent him flying into a nearby road sign. He slid down onto the ground, all the flying about putting the fire out. And revealing he was without a scratch.

"...Owie...I thought lighting myself on fire with furniture polish would do it...you think this moose could gore me to death? How sharp are their horns?"
Last edited by Ameriganastan on Sat Sep 28, 2019 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Danubian Peoples
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 440
Founded: Sep 21, 2018
New York Times Democracy

Postby Danubian Peoples » Sun Sep 29, 2019 1:04 am

Talchyon wrote:Date - A Thursday, Sep. 26, 2019
Time - 7:00 p.m. CST
Place - The Orient, Minnesota town Legion Hall, room #2.


The meeting of the Minnesota Infinites was under way. Captain Calculator stood at the front, leading it. It had begun the typical way, with people chitchatting about nothing in general until it was some minutes past the time they were supposed to start. And trying to find Infinites who had gone to the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting next door by mistake. And shuffling recovering alcoholics from their room back to the other room. But nothing says the beginning of the Infinites' weekly meeting like everyone rising and saying the Minnesota Infinites' pledge. New members were handed out a sheet of paper with the following on it. Most of the people there just mumbled through it, except for Glitch who was completely enthralled with getting a comic book title, and Captain Calculator, who took pride in it. And they all rose and said it together...

"I am a superhero.
I am not weak or weenie.
I am worthy of taking down supervillains.
I am worthy of getting a comic book someday.
I will use my super abilities for good, not evil.
I am an Infinite! No, really!"



After that, the meeting was a typical meeting. Coathangerman had found 75 more cents to contribute to the general fund. The Teetotaler had gotten a Kleenex for someone who had a cold, but he was out of uniform, so it probably won't get written up in the papers. He also had received a phone contact from a comic book company! However, it was just the sales department, offering Teetotaler a $2 discount on a subscription. So while he had his hopes up that maybe the Minnesota Infinites were going to get more recognition nation-wide, it was a false alarm. Still, it was nice to be noticed. There was no old business. New business was the introduction of the newest members of the Minnesota Infinites. And then, the meeting broke up for their traditional dessert and socialization that someone always brought.

Someone did stop and get dessert for the meeting, right?


'Dessert, you say?' answered Frank, to, no one in particular. He reached from a grocery bag he had on his person and pulled out a tub of ice cream. It was one of the small cylindrical ones you would eat alone on a couch while watching TV. 'Well, I've got some right here. It's chocolate, which I assume everyone likes,' he said, as he opened the lid and scooped two dollops onto a cup for himself. 'Now I usually reserve this treat for myself, considering I buy only one of these every couple of weeks, but I was feeling a little generous I guess.' Frank began to eat the delectable treat and before long, had gone back to the tub for a third dollop to scoop onto his cup. And a fourth. And a fifth. 'My apologies. Chocolate's my favorite. Besides, I bought it for myself anyway.' Frank pushed the now half-emptied tub onto the center of the table, and told everyone to help themselves to the treat. At the moment he was in his superhero attire (OOC: I'm assuming everyone else is in too), with only his goggles having been omitted, left inside a bag at his feet. The padded getup made it a tight squeeze to fit into his seat, but it was just flexible enough to do so. 'Well, I guess it's onto what I've 'accomplished' as of late. I stopped a youth from vandalizing someone's house, though I'm pretty sure he just walked down the street and spray-painted someone else's instead. I also pocketed a quarter and three pennies from the sidewalk, so there's that.' He laid four pennies on the table. 'I guess these are some' accomplishments,' said Frank in a somber tone. He clenched his forehead with his left hand, and wiped his mouth with the right. Indeed, the Spotlight was rather beaten down by experience. He tried to bend over to grab a tissue, but his thick suit stopped him just short of the tissue holder. So, he wiped his mouth with his napkin instead.
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Talchyon
Senator
 
Posts: 4657
Founded: May 05, 2016
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Talchyon » Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:38 am

Minnesota Infinites' meeting
Coathangerman


Danubian Peoples wrote:'Dessert, you say?' answered Frank, to, no one in particular. He reached from a grocery bag he had on his person and pulled out a tub of ice cream. It was one of the small cylindrical ones you would eat alone on a couch while watching TV. 'Well, I've got some right here. It's chocolate, which I assume everyone likes,' he said, as he opened the lid and scooped two dollops onto a cup for himself. 'Now I usually reserve this treat for myself, considering I buy only one of these every couple of weeks, but I was feeling a little generous I guess.' Frank began to eat the delectable treat and before long, had gone back to the tub for a third dollop to scoop onto his cup. And a fourth. And a fifth. 'My apologies. Chocolate's my favorite. Besides, I bought it for myself anyway.' Frank pushed the now half-emptied tub onto the center of the table, and told everyone to help themselves to the treat. At the moment he was in his superhero attire (OOC: I'm assuming everyone else is in too), with only his goggles having been omitted, left inside a bag at his feet. The padded getup made it a tight squeeze to fit into his seat, but it was just flexible enough to do so. 'Well, I guess it's onto what I've 'accomplished' as of late. I stopped a youth from vandalizing someone's house, though I'm pretty sure he just walked down the street and spray-painted someone else's instead. I also pocketed a quarter and three pennies from the sidewalk, so there's that.' He laid four pennies on the table. 'I guess these are some' accomplishments,' said Frank in a somber tone. He clenched his forehead with his left hand, and wiped his mouth with the right. Indeed, the Spotlight was rather beaten down by experience. He tried to bend over to grab a tissue, but his thick suit stopped him just short of the tissue holder. So, he wiped his mouth with his napkin instead.


Coathangerman had been hanging around the free dessert table, waiting for his weekly free meal that consisted of other people paying for treats. So far, he had managed to never have to be the one to spring for donuts or whatever else. And he was looking to continue that streak for, basically forever.

Which is why, when he saw Frank the Spotlight down the small-sized personal chocolate ice cream he had brought (which, surprisingly had not melted into a puddle of goo being out of the freezer for so long), Coathangerman felt the rumbling in his stomach and looked with longing eyes at the meal he wasn't getting.

The only thing to leave his mouth was a small whimper. "Ugh..."




Outside Ulterior Motive Man's house
Doc Bur-Ock


Ameriganastan wrote:One villain was conspicuously absent as everyone filed out.

"This should do the trick..."

A few moments later, he came barreling outside. Wreathed head to toe in fire.

"HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!"

He shot past the exiting villains, running into the road where a passing car slammed into him, sending him flying about 20 feet. He bounced about 7 times before coming to a stop when he bounced into another car that sent him flying into a nearby road sign. He slid down onto the ground, all the flying about putting the fire out. And revealing he was without a scratch.

"...Owie...I thought lighting myself on fire with furniture polish would do it...you think this moose could gore me to death? How sharp are their horns?"


Doc Bur-Ock first was astonished to see the car accident, hitting the fiery figure who then hit everything else in the nearby area. He thought it might be an attack by the Infinites! The real ones, the ones they wrote comic book stories about! But then, as he sopped, dropped, rolled, flew around, slid, and did his personal extinguishing, Doc Bur-Ock saw that it was the Invulnerable Lump or whatever it was that he was calling himself now. And he went back to his typical annoyed state.

"You missed the meeting. It was an important meeting. We had bureaucratic steps to take, and now you don't know about them. Arghh! As for this moose thing, who knows. Maybe it will kill you (and spare us from having to play psychoanalyst with you, he said under his breath). First we have to find it. Anyone have a ride we can take? I heard there were moose up north of town..."
What would you do if Hong Kong somehow transported itself to right outside a small town in Minnesota? What would you do if an alien warlord was on the way? What would you do if you were a superhero, but only with dorky, lame D-level powers?

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Pax Nerdvana
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Postby Pax Nerdvana » Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:41 am

Jim Walker AKA Warstory-
Infintes meeting

Jim Walker looked on as Frank devoured the ice cream. Jim said, "Ya know, I once knew an officer on a submarine. He once said that they sometimes "ransomed" officers from carriers for a few gallons of ice cream. I dunno if that's true, but that's what my buddy told me. I visited one of those subs once, and they're cramped as a sardine can. Too small for my tastes. Can someone pass me an ice cream or donut or something?" It had been sometime since Jim had had ice cream or pastries. His wife, Anne, didn't buy them anymore because she considered it too unhealthy for them both, as they were getting a little older. So Jim had to get dessert when he could.
Last edited by Pax Nerdvana on Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Skarten
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Skarten » Tue Oct 01, 2019 12:06 pm

"The Forgettable Villain"
Minnesota, Northeast of the town
Blank State


On a bench nearby a street, a young man, perhaps in his twenties, opened a small bag. He had been waiting for this moment for this entire day, and he would enjoy it greatly. That's what he thought to himself as he took the covered item, taking off it's wrapping. And there it was, the object of his hunger, a double cheese & bacon hamburger. He had just bought it from his favourite fast food brand, the notable "Steak Grand Duke". He particularly enjoyed their cheddar sauce. Taking a bite out of the burger, the man, who was ready to enjoy his industrialized artery blockage sandwich, realized something odd. The bacon is raw.

At last, he remembered. He had already eaten in this place before, and he had already gotten raw bacon. Apparently, it was just some kind of new supplier or something similar, because the bored teenager who was forced to hear his complaints said that was what they had received. Annoyed at this, the man in question knew what he had to do. It was none other than Philipp Marszvaten, known slightly more by his masked name, Blank State! A smile began to rise on his face as he finally found what he was looking for around him. A street cat, of black coloration, was nearby. It was time for his villainous side to shine! Taking the half-bitten bacon from his hamburger, Philipp threw it to the cat, who quickly began to eat the dropped meat. This innocent fool of a cat doesn't even know what's happening! Now, just as any dumb cat would, he is going to eat this raw bacon! Not only will it taste bad, he might have health problems in the future!

With this heinous act done, Philipp quickly grabbed what remained of his meal and bag, running off from the crime scene. If you were there, you would probably hear a faint "KHKHKH" as the odd man walked into the distance. Now that his vile actions had been completed, Philipp thought about what he should do next. Now, if one knew about his alter-ego, they would have probably expected him to be at a meeting in a previously dusty basement in the other side of the city. Yes, that would be the reason why he had initially left. Then, of course, he forgot about it, and then forgot that he had forgotten something, so he decided to eat a hamburger. It had been over a month since his last fast food meal, after all.

After walking for some minutes, Blank State realized that he still hungered for evil. And good quality bacon, but that could be taken care of later. He was bored, and the best way to solve boredom was by abusing his given powers for whatever reason he decided was best! And he had just a great idea. Not too far from there, on the northern edge of the city, there was a road bump that just so happened to be higher than average ones, meaning that if one was to go over them while in normal speeds, chaos surely would be sown, with results such as spilled beverages, bitten tongues and superficial damage to the cars. With his ability in mind, there was only one thing that could be done: force the drivers to confuse them and cause them to hit the speedbump without slowing down! Delightfully devilish, Philipp,he said to himself. It was time for Philipp Marszvaten to sleep, and for Blank State to come to life! Mayhem awaits him...

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AUPHELIA
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Left-wing Utopia

Postby AUPHELIA » Tue Oct 01, 2019 5:34 pm

Woman

Woman walked down the quiet streets of Orient, Minnesota at a brisk pace, though being careful to watch out for any obstructions in her path and stopping at every intersection to wait for the crosswalk lights to indicate it was time to walk, despite there being no cars on the road. After all, it was never too burdensome to be pragmatic. Speaking of burdens, in her arms she carried several pages of notes and legal documentation that she had compiled to present to both the Infinites and the local villains at their respective meetings, which unfortunately had been scheduled on the same night.

Based on their general tomfoolery and promises of after meeting treats, it was simple to decide that she would attend the villains meeting first, nitpick Doc until he fell into an apoplectic fit, and then head to the Infinites meeting for free food and then present her findings to the group. Sometimes she wondered how these two groups had managed to survive, much less fight/play juvenile pranks on each other over the years. Failing upwards was an apt way to describe it.

Maintaining her pace and sparing a quick glance at her watch, she realised she was actually seventeen seconds ahead of schedule, and slowed herself down an appropriate amount. Looking up, she saw a flaming figure hurtle across the street from where she was standing, cause wanton destruction, nearly destroy two cars . . .

Turning on her heel without breaking stride, she left her notes (about the price of soy in China, and how if the villains diversified their retirement portfolios they could stand to gain a 0.12% increase in their average ROI in the third quarter to offset the losses from buying into the commemorative mug Ponzi scheme that had nearly caused the Orient economy to collapse) on a bench by the ice cream shop as she went to attend the Infinites meeting instead. Despite her health insurance, it would be unwise to risk death or injury by associating with flaming projectiles.

Pragmatica

Quickly switching the black leather banded watch she had been wearing for her black faux-leather watch, to complete her transition from Woman to Pragmatica, she finally found herself outside the Infinites meeting room. Carefully pushing the doors of Meeting Room #1 open, she found the group in a circle of folding chairs, with a woman wearing a bowler hat standing up, addressing the group.

". . . and then my idiot husband fell off the ladder too, but we still had the vodka puddle from when Jen totally puked her guts out, so he ended up sort of sliding on that until he scraped himself up on the sidewalk, but we were so drunk no one even noticed, and then the neighbours called the police when I thought he was covered in ketchup or whatever, so now I'm some sort of vampire, which I thought was cool, like Robert Patrickson or something, but the police were, like, not feeling it, you know, which is weird because he was sparkly in that Twilight stuff so you'd think it was cool too, right, so now I have to come her - "

The door clicked shut and Pragmatica was back in the hallway. The Infinites were supposed to be in Meeting Room #1, but apparently that was not the case, unless that living disaster of a woman had been accepted to the Infinites . . . which on reflection didn't seem like an impossible notion. Just before she was about to walk into the meeting again, she smelled the faint scent of justice . . . or was it stale doughnuts and tea? Regardless, she knew there could be only one source of that scent.

Walking into Meeting Room #2, she witnessed the group gorging themselves on chocolate ice cream, not five minutes after the meeting was set to have started.

Oh, the things she did for her taxes.
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Castelia
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Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby Castelia » Thu Oct 03, 2019 8:47 am

A couple of hours before the Minnesota Infinites meeting,

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and for my last shizzle, I'm gonna bedazzle y'all with my newest single, 'My Gud Boyz Git Gud Pointz', which I wrote as a tribute to y'all, my cool AF fans who have been at my side since my career started all them many years ago!"

Charles was glad to be back on the limelight once again. Right now, he was on the stage for his fans, performing his usual concert routines for the benefit of the needy. Charles was a hero after all, an Infinite, and he was not above doing charity concerts to help the unfortunate in their time of need. Surrounded by his fans, his music reaching the ears of everyone present, Charles was reveling in the moment, sharing his dream and his message with the people who loved him, and whom he loved in return.

Of course, it also helped that Charles was currently performing at a retirement home for the elderly deaf, conveniently located at a secluded place not far from Orient, Minnesota. No one could disturb them here, and of course, no one can disturb Charles as he performed. Except perhaps the orderlies that worked on the property, but they were wearing ear muffs anyway and were already used to Charles. With Charles' "fan army" present to mind the patients, they weren't actually needed, so they took the time to relax.

Details aside, it was a successful charity concert that day, and Charles was able to raise a good amount for the charity. He had managed to raise $50, which was actually higher than his previous amount of $45! It was a win for Charles, and to celebrate, he and his fan army The Kul Keeds on the Blokk celebrated by buying pizza on the way home.




At the Minnesota Infinites meeting

Having dropped off the The Kul Keeds on the Blokk at their local residence, Charles then made his way towards the meeting room, a pizza box in one hand and a six pack of non-alcoholic beer on the other hand. He figured they could celebrate his newest achievement. After all, he did increase his charity proceeds by $5! That's worth celebrating, in his opinion. Humming a tune to himself, he found the place he was looking for, Meeting Room #1.

"Hey, what's up, y'all?! I got y'all a little something!" Charles proudly announced his presence, holding up the beer and the pizza for all to see. And by the time he realized he was in the wrong room, it was too late for him to do anything as chaos erupted.

Apparently, the sight of both beer and pizza was too tempting for some.
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Danubian Peoples
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Founded: Sep 21, 2018
New York Times Democracy

Postby Danubian Peoples » Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:36 am

Auphelia wrote:[snip]

Castelia wrote:[snip]

Pax Nerdvana wrote:[snip]


Frank simply continued to wiped his face with his napkin as Jim Walker blabbered about his friend's time in a submarine. He could feel his eyes, just begging to roll from side to side. His eyelids, always primed to close shut in his old age, began to droop. Frank simply kept the napkin flush to his face, letting it collect the drool emanating from his mouth. Was this the Warstory's powers coming into light? No. This was just Frank being old. He'd always feel like this every now and again. And was so caught up in this half-asleepness that he barely even flinched when 'Pragmatica' entered the room. It was when he decided to scooch over to a seat closer to the wall, so he could doze off rather peacefully, when he was suddenly jerked into being wide awake. After squeezing through the thin space between seat and table, Frank had found his way onto the wall separating Meeting Room #2 from Meeting Room #1. He lay his head onto it, and was brought into the light-by a painful sensation. 'Argh!' he gasped, clenching his gut as he felt it rumble. 'Was that ice cream bad or something?' he said to the others. 'Wait a minute.' Frank leaned even closer to the wall, his ear basically flush to it, and heard absolutely nothing-except of course for the screams of recovering alcoholics. 'Definitely bad ice cream.' He muttered under his breath. He decided to let the rest eat their share of his tub anyway lest he take away their share of the 'meal.'
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Ameriganastan
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Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Ameriganastan » Thu Oct 03, 2019 11:47 am

Talchyon wrote:
Doc Bur-Ock first was astonished to see the car accident, hitting the fiery figure who then hit everything else in the nearby area. He thought it might be an attack by the Infinites! The real ones, the ones they wrote comic book stories about! But then, as he sopped, dropped, rolled, flew around, slid, and did his personal extinguishing, Doc Bur-Ock saw that it was the Invulnerable Lump or whatever it was that he was calling himself now. And he went back to his typical annoyed state.

"You missed the meeting. It was an important meeting. We had bureaucratic steps to take, and now you don't know about them. Arghh! As for this moose thing, who knows. Maybe it will kill you (and spare us from having to play psychoanalyst with you, he said under his breath). First we have to find it. Anyone have a ride we can take? I heard there were moose up north of town..."

"Ooh, we can take my car! It's all warmed up and everything.

He pointed to his house (It was rather convenient he lived next door to Ulterior Motive Man) and walked over to the garage, opening the door and releasing a giant cloud of exhaust.

"Sorry about the smog. Was trying to suffocate myself with exhaust but that just gave me a nasty cough for a few minutes. On the upside, the tank is full. Tried drinking gasoline, but that didn't do the trick...you know, I should have set myself on fire with the gas. Rats...ooh, rats!"

He pulled a notepad and a pen from his pocket.

"Devoured...by...rabid...diseased...rats. Try that later. Anyway, who wants shotgun? Also, I hope you like progressive rock. Cause there's a Rush cassette stuck in the tape deck. Caress of Steel. Totally underrated album."
Last edited by Ameriganastan on Thu Oct 03, 2019 4:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Talchyon
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Postby Talchyon » Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:31 am

Frenzy at the A.A. meeting next door to the Minnesota Infinites' meeting (that was rather short)

Castelia wrote:At the Minnesota Infinites meeting

Having dropped off the The Kul Keeds on the Blokk at their local residence, Charles then made his way towards the meeting room, a pizza box in one hand and a six pack of non-alcoholic beer on the other hand. He figured they could celebrate his newest achievement. After all, he did increase his charity proceeds by $5! That's worth celebrating, in his opinion. Humming a tune to himself, he found the place he was looking for, Meeting Room #1.

"Hey, what's up, y'all?! I got y'all a little something!" Charles proudly announced his presence, holding up the beer and the pizza for all to see. And by the time he realized he was in the wrong room, it was too late for him to do anything as chaos erupted.

Apparently, the sight of both beer and pizza was too tempting for some.


The anonymous recovering alcoholics looked up, and were hypnotically captured by the sight of the six-pack. Some held it off, yelling "Willpower! Willpower! Intervention needed! Ach!" Others, however, were like helpless putty in the grip of a 2-year old who likes playing with helpless putty. One man got up, and happened to run exactly 12 steps to get to the non-alcoholic beer, grasping like a madman for the drink. Others soon followed. The A.A. room next door to the Infinites' meeting was a hubbub of not-much-resistance and shouting. Sometimes shouting at each other. Or shouting at Charles. Or shouting just to be heard. And even when one of them grabbed a can and started downing it, only to look in puzzlement at the label and realizing it was non-alcoholic, he wasn't noticed except by the narrator.

Jerry, the unofficial ex officio leader of the group, sighed in frustration, and went to the door to where the Infinites' meeting was. Seeing various heroes either 1) engaged in eating ice cream; 2) engaged in thinking about eating ice cream but not; 3) and at least one geezer talking about his navel (and of course, not something "naval" like a submarine or something), Jerry motioned for Captain Calculator to come over, quick.

Having to yell to be heard over the frenzy behind him, Jerry shouted, "YOU GUYS! YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BRING 6-PACKS TO OUR MEETING! AND NORMALLY THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM. YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN HAVE 6-PACK ABS. BUT COME ON!"

Captain Calculator bowed his head in shame. "SORRY."

Jerry: "EH?"

Captain Calculator: "SORRY!"

Jerry: "YEAH, IT IS STARRY OUT THERE ALREADY! NIGHT SURE CAME QUICK! BUT SINCE YOU GUYS RUINED OUR MEETING, WHY DON'T YOU GO SOMEWHERE ELSE? I DON'T CARE WHERE. MAYBE NORTH OF TOWN WHERE THAT METEOR HIT AND WHERE SOME OF THOSE SCIENCE-TYPE PEOPLE ARE."

Captain Calculator, chagrined: "OK."

Jerry: "WHAT?

Captain Calculator: "O. K."

Jerry: "I DIDN"T KNOW YOU WERE JEWISH! OY VEY TO YOU TOO!"

Captain Calculator (under his breath): "Whatever. We'll go." Afterwards, he gathered up the rest of the Infinites outside. They needed some semblance of sobriety to take control of the A.A. meeting next door, and that meant taking a drive north of town. When they all got in, Captain Calculator took off, going the speed limit, of course.




Outside Ulterior Motive Man's house
Diet Cola


Ameriganastan wrote:"Ooh, we can take my car! It's all warmed up and everything.

He pointed to his house (It was rather convenient he lived next door to Ulterior Motive Man) and walked over to the garage, opening the door and releasing a giant cloud of exhaust.

"Sorry about the smog. Was trying to suffocate myself with exhaust but that just gave me a nasty cough for a few minutes. On the upside, the tank is full. Tried drinking gasoline, but that didn't do the trick...you know, I should have set myself on fire with the gas. Rats...ooh, rats!"

He pulled a notepad and a pen from his pocket.

"Devoured...by...rabid...diseased...rats. Try that later. Anyway, who wants shotgun? Also, I hope you like progressive rock. Cause there's a Rush cassette stuck in the tape deck. Caress of Steel. Totally underrated album."


Diet Cola muscled his way through the rest of the villains to claim shotgun. He could care less about the choice of music. But being so close to the front meant he could change it to radio and not have to listen to the tape deck. He started shuffling through the stations to find anything that sounded halfway decent. The only problem was, Diet Cola was technically tone deaf and had absolutely the worst taste in music out of everyone in the car.

That's why, when he stopped on this station playing this song, Doc Bur-Ock in the back seat groaned. "Just drive, ok! Spare us from having to listen to this... this... drivel!"

Diet Cola just shrugged. "If you didn't like that one, I'll change it." So he pressed seek, and the next station had this song on it. He stopped there, and Doc Bur-Ock's annoyance level reached a new high.

Thankfully, Lump was driving the villains and hopefully they were going to get north of town soon to look for the moose.
What would you do if Hong Kong somehow transported itself to right outside a small town in Minnesota? What would you do if an alien warlord was on the way? What would you do if you were a superhero, but only with dorky, lame D-level powers?

You would fit right in with the current IC of the long-running RP comedy series: The Infinites!

Join me for: The Infinites - INFINITE GAUNTLET (OOC) - and Check out the IC page here!

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Pax Nerdvana
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Founded: May 22, 2017
Anarchy

Postby Pax Nerdvana » Fri Oct 04, 2019 11:28 am

Jim Walker AKA Warstory
As they gathered outside to investigate the meteorite, Jim said,"I'm gonna take my truck. If anyone wants a ride, I have th' passenger seat an' the bed. I brought this ol' workhorse just in case we needed to move people. I bought this truck new back in 1970. They don't make 'em like this anymore." With that, he pointed at his truck, a beat up old 1970 Ford F-500 medium duty. Inside the bed were a couple bags of feed, a tool box, a shovel, and some hay. Jim also had a smaller '80s era F-150 back at the farm. Jim liked trucks, hence why he had two of different sizes. Jim continued speaking,"Ya know, on the subject of meteors, I once saw one fly overhead while I was flyin' a Huey back in 'Nam. Maybe it's just my imagination, but it looked a little greenish from what I can remember. That was a tough mission; we through ground fire so thick that you could walk on it, an' the chopper a buddy o' mine was flyin' got shot down. Never saw him again. My Huey took a lotta damage. We got back to base, an' the tail was all chewed up. I knew somethin' had felt weird flyin' her home." He trailed off as he saw the others getting ready to leave. He climbed in the cab of his truck, put the key in, and started it up. He followed Captain Calculator; they were headed north to check out the meteorite.
Last edited by Pax Nerdvana on Fri Oct 04, 2019 11:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
Patriotic centrist American, who is right leaning. I support the Bill of Rights. I have no loyalty to any party. Expand or die. That's how humanity works. Science fiction is the best genre. The solar system is ours for the taking. I am a male. You can't spell team without "me".
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Ameriganastan
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Postby Ameriganastan » Fri Oct 04, 2019 6:53 pm

Talchyon wrote:
Diet Cola muscled his way through the rest of the villains to claim shotgun. He could care less about the choice of music. But being so close to the front meant he could change it to radio and not have to listen to the tape deck. He started shuffling through the stations to find anything that sounded halfway decent. The only problem was, Diet Cola was technically tone deaf and had absolutely the worst taste in music out of everyone in the car.

That's why, when he stopped on this station playing this song, Doc Bur-Ock in the back seat groaned. "Just drive, ok! Spare us from having to listen to this... this... drivel!"

Diet Cola just shrugged. "If you didn't like that one, I'll change it." So he pressed seek, and the next station had this song on it. He stopped there, and Doc Bur-Ock's annoyance level reached a new high.

Thankfully, Lump was driving the villains and hopefully they were going to get north of town soon to look for the moose.

"It's a long way to Tipperary! It's a long way, to go! Come on, you know the words! It's a long way to Tipperary, to the sweetest girl I know!"

About 5 minutes into the drive, Lump's decrepit stereo had given up the ghost. So he was providing the tunes himself as he sped at close to 95 MPH

"Woo, nothing like a brisk drive to refresh the old batteries! Hey, a semi-truck!"

Lump quickly switched lanes as the semi barreled straight at the car.

"This should do it! ...Oh, wait. Other people in the car."

He shifted back to the correct lane as the truck whizzed by.

"So, how are we gonna catch this moose?"
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Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Talchyon
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Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Talchyon » Sat Oct 05, 2019 5:20 am

Drivin'
Glitch and the Teetotaler


Somehow, he never knew exactly how physics bent itself whenever they rode with Captain Calculator. But whatever the reason - whether it was some dimensional warp that overlapped two different dimensions together, or whether some ancient wizard had once popped in and cast a weird exotic spell on Calculator's car, or whether it was Glitch somehow making the laws of physics no longer function, the Teetotaler knew that all the Infinites fit in the Infinitemobile whenever they had need to travel.

Which made him just shake his head with a shrug when he saw Warstory and Coathangerman back in his truck.

Of course, based on how Glitch was talking, riding in another vehicle so as not to have to listen to him drone on about inconsequential things would have been a nice relief.

Glitch: "...like, and that's when my friend Jake said, 'Oh yeah?' And I was like, 'Yeah." And then he was like, "Dude." So I said back to him, 'Dude, you know it.' Because like, that's how we roll and y'know, when we roll, we're like donuts going down a hill. But not like bear claws or long johns, 'cause like, those would suck at rolling. And Jake and I don't suck when we roll. We're like, gathering no moss if you catch my drift. An' all. But anyway, as I was saying, there's no limit to what you can do with bacon..."

The Teetotaler just let his mind drift while Glitch droned on. Would he just shut up for once! To tune him out, Teetotaler just looked outside at the scenery they were passing by. The various buildings passed. Oh look. They had just driven past Old Abandoned Warehouse Lane. And what was that? Was that someone up ahead, lurking in the bushes with a sinister evil smile on his face?

Skarten wrote:"The Forgettable Villain"
Minnesota, Northeast of the town
Blank State
[/size]

...After walking for some minutes, Blank State realized that he still hungered for evil. And good quality bacon, but that could be taken care of later. He was bored, and the best way to solve boredom was by abusing his given powers for whatever reason he decided was best! And he had just a great idea. Not too far from there, on the northern edge of the city, there was a road bump that just so happened to be higher than average ones, meaning that if one was to go over them while in normal speeds, chaos surely would be sown, with results such as spilled beverages, bitten tongues and superficial damage to the cars. With his ability in mind, there was only one thing that could be done: force the drivers to confuse them and cause them to hit the speedbump without slowing down! Delightfully devilish, Philipp,he said to himself. It was time for Philipp Marszvaten to sleep, and for Blank State to come to life! Mayhem awaits him...


Teetotaler didn't know what Captain Calculator, their driver, was thinking. Couldn't he see the snickering, evil-looking fellow with an outfit that looked like it was later to be announced? What was Calculator thinking? Was he thinking?

Teetotaler said: "Captain Calculator, I don't like the looks of this. Maybe you should slow down or something..."

Calculator: "What are you talking about? I'm only going about 2 over the speed limit. The town cop doesn't pull people over for going 2 miles above the speed limit."

Teetotaler: "I'm not talking about the cop (though as a hero, you should probably obey the traffic laws to the utmost and set a good example for everyone else). No, I'm talking about that sinister looking evil guy there in the outfit that looks like it hasn't been announced yet what it looks like."

Calculator: "What evil guy?"

Teetotaler: (puzzled) "The one right there. 20 feet ahead of us. Standing right there on the sidewalk."

Calculator: "Huh?"

Teetotaler: (looking ahead) "Ok, if you're not going to pay attention to him, what about that sign over there that says, 'Bump in Road'?"

Calculator: "What sign?"

But it was too late. The Infinitemobile hit Blank State's speed trap! They hit the bump, not realizing the sign was there, and definitely forgetting about the evil villain with a costume so understated, it had yet to be stated! They hit the bump. Their teeth on the top slammed into the other sets of teeth on the bottom. Calculator bit his tongue! If Glitch had a drink, he would have spilled it! And there was minor, superficial damage to the underside of the Infinitemobile! Captain Calculator stirred, as if the jolt to his system caused him to realize both the sign and the villain. So he slowed down and pulled off to the side, getting out. The rest of the Infinites could (if they wished)... (Or they could just stay in the car...)

Warstory's truck was right behind, about to do the same thing...




Driving
Doc Bur-Ock


Ameriganastan wrote:"It's a long way to Tipperary! It's a long way, to go! Come on, you know the words! It's a long way to Tipperary, to the sweetest girl I know!"

About 5 minutes into the drive, Lump's decrepit stereo had given up the ghost. So he was providing the tunes himself as he sped at close to 95 MPH

"Woo, nothing like a brisk drive to refresh the old batteries! Hey, a semi-truck!"

Lump quickly switched lanes as the semi barreled straight at the car.

"This should do it! ...Oh, wait. Other people in the car."

He shifted back to the correct lane as the truck whizzed by.

"So, how are we gonna catch this moose?"


Doc Bur-Ock simply shrugged. "Beats me. I specialize in forms and giant staple removers that try to bite people. Capturing a moose isn't exactly my forte."

Up ahead about three blocks, they saw a station wagon pull over and a truck right behind them, about to get jolted by a speed trap.
What would you do if Hong Kong somehow transported itself to right outside a small town in Minnesota? What would you do if an alien warlord was on the way? What would you do if you were a superhero, but only with dorky, lame D-level powers?

You would fit right in with the current IC of the long-running RP comedy series: The Infinites!

Join me for: The Infinites - INFINITE GAUNTLET (OOC) - and Check out the IC page here!

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Danubian Peoples
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Posts: 440
Founded: Sep 21, 2018
New York Times Democracy

Postby Danubian Peoples » Sat Oct 05, 2019 5:59 am

Talchyon wrote:[snip]



The Spotlight
As Frank's jaws slammed shut, his tongue having been saved by a scant few millimeters, the Infinitemobile ground to a halt and swung his head forward. Disoriented and very angry, the Spotlight wasted no time getting out of the vehicle. In an instant, he used his power to illuminate the dark surroundings for a few minutes(OOC: This took place after an evening meeting, right?). After coming up inconclusive about its whereabouts, he bellowed at the unknown offender 'I can cause permanent eye damage!,' and took his goggles out of the bag. He strapped them on and primed them for the 'infrared laser pointer' trick. The Spotlight bent down on one knee, and prepared to fire...

'In 3, 2, 1..'

To the outside observer nothing was going on. Not only because outside observers usually can't see infrared radiation, but because nothing was in fact going on.

'Perfidious legalities!' said the Spotlight, in an annoyed tone.

'In my heyday, I could get away with that, criminal scum!'

He turned back to the other Infinites and said in a more calm tone:

'I guess I'll continue searching for that darn offender. In the mean time, how about the rest of you pitch in and find out about, whatever happened I guess.'
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Kasa Tkoth Sphere
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Founded: Apr 23, 2019
Iron Fist Socialists

Postby Kasa Tkoth Sphere » Sun Oct 06, 2019 1:10 am

Having not spoken the pledge out loud - she was too busy on her phone trying to search Goobol for the Minnesota Infinites' code of conduct or rulebook or whatever they were supposed to have - Radarᴋ hadn't actually spoken anything to any of the other Infinites since the meeting began. "You know," she said finally, though, after watching an old man messily eat half a tub of chocolate ice cream, listening to a story about submariners' rewards (she was pretty sure it was destroyers who rescued downed pilots instead), and finally getting crammed into a station wagon next to her brother, "this feels a little more like a fan club of some kind than a team. Everyone just does their own thing, and then we check stuff out together?"

"Shhhh," whispered the Ace Fruitbat, sitting halfway on her lap because of the crowd of other Infinites pushing him to the side. "If they want us to do stuff on our own, I'll be in your superhero team, don't worry."

"That wasn't my p-"

She shut up as they passed over the bump - giving Robin a jostle as they went - and stayed silent while the car brought itself to a halt. Once the Infinites began to trickle out, she looked out of the window, pointed at the so-called "sinister-looking evil guy", and quietly said, "Unless you want to be the sidekick here..."

Ace Fruitbat, scrambling over the knees of those who were sitting between him and the door out, hurtled out of the car yelling "EXPLAIN YOURSELF, VILE... UH...

"...UH...

"...WHY AM I YELLING? WHY AM I RUNNING? KATE, HELP ME OUT HERE."

"That's not my superhero name," Radarᴋ shouted back from inside, rolling her eyes so visibly he could see it from a few dozen yards off.
Last edited by Kasa Tkoth Sphere on Sun Oct 06, 2019 1:12 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Ameriganastan
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Posts: 45396
Founded: Jul 01, 2008
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Ameriganastan » Wed Oct 09, 2019 12:05 am

Talchyon wrote:
Doc Bur-Ock simply shrugged. "Beats me. I specialize in forms and giant staple removers that try to bite people. Capturing a moose isn't exactly my forte."

Up ahead about three blocks, they saw a station wagon pull over and a truck right behind them, about to get jolted by a speed trap.

"Hey, that'll work! Hope everyone is buckled up!"

Lump of course was not. He slammed on the brakes, the sudden stop flinging him straight through the windshield.

"TAKE ME SWEET DEATH! I AWAIT YOUR COLD EMBRACE!"

He slammed straight into the back of the truck, leaving a giant dent courtesy of hitting it headfirst with his helmet. He collapsed to the ground in a heap, looking like his suicidal persistence had finally paid off...then he sat up.

"Damn it! I just busted my windshield for nothing."
The Incompetent Critic
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Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Talchyon
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Posts: 4657
Founded: May 05, 2016
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Talchyon » Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:29 am

Driving, or at least, formerly driving before coming to a sudden stop
Diet Cola


Ameriganastan wrote:
Talchyon wrote:
Doc Bur-Ock simply shrugged. "Beats me. I specialize in forms and giant staple removers that try to bite people. Capturing a moose isn't exactly my forte."

Up ahead about three blocks, they saw a station wagon pull over and a truck right behind them, about to get jolted by a speed trap.

"Hey, that'll work! Hope everyone is buckled up!"

Lump of course was not. He slammed on the brakes, the sudden stop flinging him straight through the windshield.

"TAKE ME SWEET DEATH! I AWAIT YOUR COLD EMBRACE!"

He slammed straight into the back of the truck, leaving a giant dent courtesy of hitting it headfirst with his helmet. He collapsed to the ground in a heap, looking like his suicidal persistence had finally paid off...then he sat up.

"Damn it! I just busted my windshield for nothing."


When the brakes slammed down and the car screeched to a sudden stop, the invulnerable yet suicidal driver was not the only villain flung from the car. Diet Cola in the shotgun seat also was flung! At first, his eyes widened immensely and his mind froze. But since frozen diet cola is a lot more adaptable than one might think, quickly the soft drink-themed villain came to action. Which usually doesn't help all that much when your mind is frozen, but you do what you can in the moment without raising too many pesky questions.

Diet Cola shot blasts of soft drink at the ground in front of him, hoping to make some kind of buffer and soften the sudden impact he was about to experience. And it worked. Kind of. The blasts of the soft drink made the ground into a sloppy mud, which is actually softer than normal. The impact of it was the kind that goes "splat." But the villain was spared having to go to the hospital and then taking months off for his bones to knit.

He growled at the Lump. "Next time, I'm driving."




Captain Calculator

So engrossed was the feckless leader of the Minnesota Infinites to question the sinister snickerer who looked like a villain, that he didn't pay any attention to RadarK's supposition that the Minnesota Infinites were not a superhero team but instead, a mere fan club. Calculator also ignored Spotlight (which was quite easy because Spotlight wasn't doing anything except mess around with his goggles). But with Calculator zeroed in on the villain (which, if he had known, would have called him by his true villain name, Blank State), that he almost didn't see the other car until it was too late! Jumping out of the way just in time, Calculator watched in horror as two people were thrown from the car in a horrible potential injury! His hero code of honor kicked in! He leaped and bounded (as well as a middle aged man in a costume with a pocket protector built in can leap and bound), until he got to the muddy field and the victims, who were...

The captain paused. He started looking around, as if dazed in thought. And he wasn't the only one. Whatever had happened, somehow Captain Calculator was dazed and confused, not remembering where he was or what he was doing. Maybe it was the work of a villain! Maybe Senile Old Grandma Lady had used her powers against them! Or perhaps, could it have been the Amnesiac! Who knows? Not Captain Calculator!
What would you do if Hong Kong somehow transported itself to right outside a small town in Minnesota? What would you do if an alien warlord was on the way? What would you do if you were a superhero, but only with dorky, lame D-level powers?

You would fit right in with the current IC of the long-running RP comedy series: The Infinites!

Join me for: The Infinites - INFINITE GAUNTLET (OOC) - and Check out the IC page here!

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Pax Nerdvana
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Posts: 12776
Founded: May 22, 2017
Anarchy

Postby Pax Nerdvana » Thu Oct 10, 2019 12:18 pm

Jim Walker AKA "Warstory"
Jim saw the Infintemobile hit the speed bump. He had been following Captain Calculator from about 30 feet away. He was about to swerve out of the speed bump's way, when an old sedan hit him from behind. The impact sent him spinning out into the median. The truck ended up with the left tires up on the median. Jim swung the door open, and looked at the car that had hit him from behind. It looked like someone was flung out and shooting soda or something out of his hands. He scratched his head in confusion, and thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. He walked around to the rear of his truck. The tailgate, which was good old Detroit steel, had already been rather battered to the point where Jim was having a hard time telling where any new dents were. He began walking over to where Captain Calculator was trying to rescue some people. He said,"My truck's fine, but I dunno 'bout the sedan that hit me. They don't make trucks like mine anymore. It's solid, good ol' fashioned Detroit steel. Ya know, I once accidentally rammed that truck into a tree. Other then new dents in the grill and hood, it was fine. The tree on th' other hand, was just 'bout snapped in half."
Patriotic centrist American, who is right leaning. I support the Bill of Rights. I have no loyalty to any party. Expand or die. That's how humanity works. Science fiction is the best genre. The solar system is ours for the taking. I am a male. You can't spell team without "me".
Call me Pax. I take things literally, being a literal person.
Copy and paste this into your sig if you think we should colonize other planets.
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Skarten
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Founded: Dec 08, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

The Infinites - Infinite Gauntlet (Comedy, Supers) - IC

Postby Skarten » Sun Oct 13, 2019 4:35 am

Success!
Minnesota, North of the town, Road bump Trap
Blank State


After having finally arrived at his destination, Blank State set up a trap. Hiding behind a nearby sign, he stood there, waiting and waiting for the moment in which a vehicle would come to spring his trap. And so, he continued hiding for a good amount of time. He could have probably counted the amount of time he stood there, but he had forgotten to wear his watch. And to take his phone, or even to look at the clock he had at his home. So, he waited patiently, filling his mind with subjects chosen at random by his brain. This continued for an undetermined amount of time, until at last, the faint sound of a car began to grow.

At Last, he thought to himself. Victims for my vile ruse! Looking at the distance, he saw the shape of a family car approach. It was the time for his evil genius to shine! He remained in his hiding spot, waiting for the perfect moment to trigger his ability. As the car finally got near the road warning the would-be drivers of the road bump, he activated his ability, targeting those in the car and, more specifically, the driver. He watched as the clear confusion began to grow, the driver of this vehicle simply not slowing down despite the warning of the road bump. And at last, it happened, as the car, which had not slowed down at all, went over the road bump, hitting the bottom part of the car with a force. Letting out a laugh, Philipp remained in his hiding spot.

The laughter only rose when, from out of the car, came none other than The Infinites. Not the actual infinites mind you, those guys were probably up in space fighting some guy whose name is just a normal word with 'us' added in the end. No, those who had fallen for his trap were the Minnesota Infinites, the obscure counterpart of their powerful brethren and his greatest (and only) enemies! Why, it appears i've hit the jackpot! was what he thought to himself. The Infinites, who were clearly confused, knew nothing about his plan! They would be forced to walk around, confused with their bitten tongues and spilled drinks! Now, all that remained was to announce his presence, and then they would know that their suffering had arrived by the hands of Blank State! Moving out of his hiding spot between the sign, he began to speak towards the group of heroes. "Over here, old friends! In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap!"

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Danubian Peoples
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Posts: 440
Founded: Sep 21, 2018
New York Times Democracy

Postby Danubian Peoples » Sun Oct 13, 2019 5:45 am

Skarten wrote:[snip]


The Spotlight
At once, the Blank Slate's words were heard by the Spotlight. With his back turned to the other Infinites, the Spotlight grit his teeth with fury. 'I brush my teeth, don't worry,' he spoke under his breath. He clenched his fists and turned to face the offender.

'I was not kidding about that threat earlier, kiddo. Now you better- wait, wouldn't that mean I wasn't kidding about the legalities of such an action? And, hold on a minute, where was I again?'

The Spotlight's words tailed off as he lost his focus on whatever he was doing, only for them to return with a vengance as he regained his composure. He used his power to illuminate the offender. With a blight flash, the perpetrator was now in full view. This was about the right time for a quip, but the man was unrecognizable-his face bearing no resemblance to any of the other foes the Spotlight had encountered. Still, the aging hero confronted the villain.

'Which one of the local rogues gallery are you again? The furry one at the grocery store? The flying one from Canada?'

Whether that was an attempt at a joke or otherwise is unfortunately lost to the outside world.

'Regardless, you call yourself a villain, a crook, a criminal! I must stop you. Y'know what, I heard what I'm about to do is perfectly legal. Infinites, avert your eyes, I'm about to turn this place into one of those 'raves' the young'uns go to.'

Indeed, the Spotlight now planned to make the villain sick from strobe lights.
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Talchyon
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Posts: 4657
Founded: May 05, 2016
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Talchyon » Tue Oct 15, 2019 10:39 am

Mild crash scene
Captain Calculator and Glitch


Dazed and confused. This is not only the name of a 90's movie about recreational drug use. This is also the state of Captain Calculator's mind. Standing over two villains who he didn't recognize as villains, Calculator had been trying to help the injured and wounded. And this happened...

Skarten wrote:
Success!
Minnesota, North of the town, Road bump Trap
Blank State


After having finally arrived at his destination, Blank State set up a trap. Hiding behind a nearby sign, he stood there, waiting and waiting for the moment in which a vehicle would come to spring his trap. And so, he continued hiding for a good amount of time. He could have probably counted the amount of time he stood there, but he had forgotten to wear his watch. And to take his phone, or even to look at the clock he had at his home. So, he waited patiently, filling his mind with subjects chosen at random by his brain. This continued for an undetermined amount of time, until at last, the faint sound of a car began to grow.

At Last, he thought to himself. Victims for my vile ruse! Looking at the distance, he saw the shape of a family car approach. It was the time for his evil genius to shine! He remained in his hiding spot, waiting for the perfect moment to trigger his ability. As the car finally got near the road warning the would-be drivers of the road bump, he activated his ability, targeting those in the car and, more specifically, the driver. He watched as the clear confusion began to grow, the driver of this vehicle simply not slowing down despite the warning of the road bump. And at last, it happened, as the car, which had not slowed down at all, went over the road bump, hitting the bottom part of the car with a force. Letting out a laugh, Philipp remained in his hiding spot.

The laughter only rose when, from out of the car, came none other than The Infinites. Not the actual infinites mind you, those guys were probably up in space fighting some guy whose name is just a normal word with 'us' added in the end. No, those who had fallen for his trap were the Minnesota Infinites, the obscure counterpart of their powerful brethren and his greatest (and only) enemies! Why, it appears i've hit the jackpot! was what he thought to himself. The Infinites, who were clearly confused, knew nothing about his plan! They would be forced to walk around, confused with their bitten tongues and spilled drinks! Now, all that remained was to announce his presence, and then they would know that their suffering had arrived by the hands of Blank State! Moving out of his hiding spot between the sign, he began to speak towards the group of heroes. "Over here, old friends! In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap!"


Captain Calculator stared at the laughing intruder. His voice was nasal, and his laugh was almost like the sound of a nasal-ish chainsaw with bad wiring. Calculator looked at the grinning sinister man who had just called him an old friend. And yet, this guy also said they had fallen into his trap. But you know? If they were really old friends, then that last sentence about how they had fallen into his trap could be a sentence of regret and shame, as if to say, their old friend What'shisname had laid out a trap for someone else, and the Infinites had accidentally fallen into it, and now their old friend was filled with remorse.

Calculator looked around at the other Infinites to see if they recognized him. Everyone was looking just as incoherent and scrambled as he was. Except if you count Glitch, who always looks incoherent and scrambled, and so he was looking normal. So not seeing any recognition, and thinking that this grinning guy was truly an old friend, Calculator went up to him and put his arm on his shoulder and said, "Hey, that's ok. Accidents happen. But hey, it's really good to see you. How's your family?" But before the grinning sneerer guy responded, Spotlight was on the move!

Danubian Peoples wrote:The Spotlight
At once, the Blank Slate's words were heard by the Spotlight. With his back turned to the other Infinites, the Spotlight grit his teeth with fury. 'I brush my teeth, don't worry,' he spoke under his breath. He clenched his fists and turned to face the offender.

'I was not kidding about that threat earlier, kiddo. Now you better- wait, wouldn't that mean I wasn't kidding about the legalities of such an action? And, hold on a minute, where was I again?'

The Spotlight's words tailed off as he lost his focus on whatever he was doing, only for them to return with a vengance as he regained his composure. He used his power to illuminate the offender. With a blight flash, the perpetrator was now in full view. This was about the right time for a quip, but the man was unrecognizable-his face bearing no resemblance to any of the other foes the Spotlight had encountered. Still, the aging hero confronted the villain.

'Which one of the local rogues gallery are you again? The furry one at the grocery store? The flying one from Canada?'

Whether that was an attempt at a joke or otherwise is unfortunately lost to the outside world.

'Regardless, you call yourself a villain, a crook, a criminal! I must stop you. Y'know what, I heard what I'm about to do is perfectly legal. Infinites, avert your eyes, I'm about to turn this place into one of those 'raves' the young'uns go to.'

Indeed, the Spotlight now planned to make the villain sick from strobe lights.


Calculator gasped in horror! Quickly, he moved in between Spotlight and his old friend, whose trap he was now sorry that they had fallen into. Raising his voice to Spotlight, Calculator said, "What are you doing?! Don't do that! He's not a villain, or a crook, or a criminal, or a ruffian, or a pervert, or whatever. He's an old friend! He said so! Don't rave him! Don't you recognize him? You don't fight old friends!" Honestly, Calculator was hoping that Spotlight or someone at least would recognize him, because he himself wasn't sure what his old friend's name was.

Glitch, however, was immune to Blank State's power. And that was because Blank State's power first brought the mind to nothingness, and then left it in a heap of disordered confusion. But Glitch's mind was already nothingness, and already left in a heap of disordered confusion. (Haven't you read his inane monologues?) So whenever Blank State used his powers, they affected everyone else... but not Glitch.

So he spoke up. "Like, Cap'n Calculator guy, Mr. Number Cruncher extraordinaire in the flesh, like, I know him. He's like, like, oh what's his name? Somethin' like, Blanket Governmental Municipality Person or something. I think that he, like, doesn't like me, y'know. And I don't know that he likes you either."

Calculator looked at Glitch confused. "But he said we were old friends..."

Glitch just shook his head. "Like, y'know, we had like other plans. We were going to be going. To like, that meteor site thingie where the space rock thingie plummeted into the earth thingie. And like, it was already the start of something way epic, y'know? So, what I'm trying to get out an' all, is that, like, we should head."

Slowly Calculator nodded, and rounded up the rest of the Infinites, hopped back in his mostly undamaged car and wondering why he felt like he had bitten his tongue. And they drove off to the meteor site.




Kansas City, MO
Pryce


A middle-aged man with thinning hair leaned over again at the screen, ignoring the plating, wires and other assorted tech enhancements of many side projects he had been working on. He played the footage again, seeing if he could spot anything else this time.

The explosion itself caught on surviving drone cameras was not as significant as one might expect. By careful analysis both from the video as well as on-site investigation, the local bomb squads had been able to determine chiefly from where the explosions went off, what the accelerant was and how it had been accessed. It was triggered by a pretty involved remote control device, based on the shrapnel that had been discovered on site. But so far, Pryce could not tell how the remote-controlled trigger could have been brought in to the heavily defended L.A. headquarters of the West Coast Infinites. When security was so tight that not even a fly could get in without their knowledge, the fact that the West Coast Infinites' HQ had blown up from the inside had made every superhero group just a little bit more on edge.

Pryce was working with law enforcement on this job. Brought in as a special kind of consultant, one whose tech abilities was unmatched anywhere in the States, as well a deep familiarity with the West Coast Infinites, Pryce was the man for the job. It also didn't hurt that Pryce was one of the few Infinites who had emerged without a PR scratch from the scandals of the Mindbender assaults years back. Now, Pryce was the unquestioned leader of the Midwest Infinites, and was one of the few Infinites held in high admiration both by the public and by other teams.

Fiddling with the controls, Pryce decided to watch earlier footage. The video recordings from that area of the Infinites' HQ where the bomb was put had been all deleted to such an extent that even he couldn't retrieve them. That told him they were up against the best of the best. Still, Pryce had been able to rig some things together so as to get some images. It was tedious work. Not knowing what to look for meant that he couldn't exactly have the computers run a scan of the footage to search. That meant doing it the old fashioned way, which by no means was quick.

He was now in the footage from days before the bombs went off, the little he had been able to salvage. Typing in on the keyboard, Pryce let out a cry of happiness. Finally, something had worked. Finally, he was going to be able to decrypt a particular time frame on the video that had previously been scrambled. He pressed the video to play in real time so as to get a sense of what he was looking at.

And he was astonished to see a familiar face looking suspicious and carrying what looked like a bomb.

It made no sense. Pryce stared at the gruesome images, of the figure bringing the bomb to what would eventually become ground zero. And hooking it up. It made no sense at all.

Why would Slipstream of all people want to blow up her own base?

Pryce got on the phone and began to make some calls. This was not going to be good.
What would you do if Hong Kong somehow transported itself to right outside a small town in Minnesota? What would you do if an alien warlord was on the way? What would you do if you were a superhero, but only with dorky, lame D-level powers?

You would fit right in with the current IC of the long-running RP comedy series: The Infinites!

Join me for: The Infinites - INFINITE GAUNTLET (OOC) - and Check out the IC page here!

User avatar
AUPHELIA
Minister
 
Posts: 2660
Founded: Jan 05, 2017
Left-wing Utopia

Postby AUPHELIA » Tue Oct 15, 2019 4:10 pm

Pragmatica

With reasonable speed and unparalleled efficiency, Pragmatica took a piece of paper and made several careful, measured calculations as to the estimated cost of repairing Captain Calculator's van as a result of the actions of Blank State. As an eminently reasonable person, no detail could possibly pass her by without due notice, and she had seen the villain for who he was. However, it would have been foolhardy to directly engage in any fight, as the potential costs outweighed any benefit.

Also, she didn't care.

Instead she used the quick stop to take several photographs of the damage from multiple angles in order to file an insurance report at a later date, and was now carefully examining each picture to create the most accurate prediction possible. Thankfully the speed bump hadn't caused too much damage besides superficial scrapes, but she was concerned as to why the entire back half of the van appeared to only be attached with twine at the bottom. She would have to have a word with the local mechanic about this shoddy workmanship, naturally assuming that surely no one would be foolish enough to think using twine to fix extreme damage to their gas tank would be a good idea. This would not be the first time, nor the last, that she would somehow both over and underestimate the Minnesota Infinites at the same time. After a thorough examination of the evidence and her own recalling of the relevant insurance policies and governmental policies as it related to vehicular damage in the pursuit of justice, she was ready to present her facts to the car.

"Attention, everyone. It would appear that due to recent damages to the vehicle we are currently being transported in, we are now eligible for a federal grant as it pertains to Section J-7 of the "Powered Pursuit of Justice Act of 2013", which allows for superhero groups to be reimbursed for up to two million USD in the pursuit of justice. This vehicle is now federal evidence, and we must disembark immediately and continue to our location on foot. If we report this incident with the next 47 hours, 26 minutes, and 13 seconds, we could be eligible, based on the current market price of the average car of this model and condition, for nearly one hundred thousand USD in compensation for this villain attack on Infinite property. Additionally, given there are minors in the vehicle at the time, we could claim this as an educational field excursion and receive a further financial amount of nearly twice the aforementioned sum. Of course, one of the children would need to die, but based on past performance, I assume we don't need all of them,".
★★★★☆
“Auphelia is one cold-hearted killer. Would recommend for all nations interested in Creative Torture. Make sure to give a large tip so you don’t get stuffed in the Microwave.”

— Asuriel S.

★★★☆☆
"I'm scared and kind of want to know more. Just don't tell her I gave her three stars. Please."

- Anonymous

★★★★★
"I'd call her insane, but after talking to her I can't pass that kind of judgement anymore. Would recommend for people who aren't afraid of insanity and a peek into the face of God."

- Midand P.

Kyrusia wrote:...This one. This one is clever. I like this one.


Charlia wrote:You, I like.

You're entertaining. And your signature makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the insiiii--

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Speyland
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 198
Founded: May 19, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Speyland » Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:13 pm

Grandmaster Yuan
October 26, 2019
Xining, China

Grandmaster Yuan woke up out of his sleep only to see a black SUV above him. He was lying down on the car which is something he didn't want to sleep on but he had no choice. He quickly dodged as it landed on top of a car, the Grandmaster was uninjured. A construction worker frowns at the Grandmaster for delaying his work. "Move out of the way, idiot!" The construction worker waved his fist in anger. "No one dares to insult the Grandmaster but me!" He said as he doesn't want anyone to control him. The construction worker chose to ignore him as he didn't want to cause trouble. The Grandmaster left the junkyard to go somewhere else.

The Grandmaster was at the bridge thinking about ways to channel his chi. He knows that it is not effective against people but in odd cases, fishes. "If it doesn't work on people then why fish?" The Grandmaster asked himself in confusion. He went towards the lake that is four feet away from the bridge to form a hypothesis; He pulled his fist back only to use some of his chi to enhance it. He then waits for a large fish to appear in front of him. Once the fish appears, he punches the fish so hard that all of the scales have turned black. His hypothesis works but there is something that is still missing. "Why is my chi not effective against people?" He asked.

He walks away from the lake leaving the burnt large fish on the grass dead.
Last edited by Speyland on Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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