Posted: Fri Jun 28, 2019 9:16 pm
Skyggeheim wrote:Mmm.
My dragon loves all these big men in their big suits of armor. It's like a portable grill with each meal!
Bad dragon, no killing team members
Because sometimes even national leaders just want to hang out
https://forum.nationstates.net/
Skyggeheim wrote:Mmm.
My dragon loves all these big men in their big suits of armor. It's like a portable grill with each meal!
Skyggeheim wrote:Mmm.
My dragon loves all these big men in their big suits of armor. It's like a portable grill with each meal!
Tomia wrote:Sarderia wrote:It is done, waiting your accept.
No, I mean in general. I'll make him less murderous here, but how was the villain in general? You're an old forum member so you might have suggestion for me
Alright thank you, accepted.
I think your writing and detail was pretty good. And it got better as you delved into his childhood trauma and all. I would say he comes off as gary stu-ish which was what some of my criticism was. Could def see him being a solid villain in a story though. I think the biggest thing to work on is motivation and ideology.
Sarderia wrote:Tomia wrote:Alright thank you, accepted.
I think your writing and detail was pretty good. And it got better as you delved into his childhood trauma and all. I would say he comes off as gary stu-ish which was what some of my criticism was. Could def see him being a solid villain in a story though. I think the biggest thing to work on is motivation and ideology.
If I got to keep the Soul thing weakness, the character woud definetly not be a Gary Stu. I plan for him to be some kind of a monster in the future (he can't even eat normal foods, just like Doctor Strange), and being a brat just like Jaime Lannister in the first seasons.
Anyway, do we have a discord?
- Necromancy: Also known as Nekyia, it is the art of magic which allows the user to contact, raise and control the dead. While often painted as the darkest side of magic and a transgression of the natural order of the Universe, Riki does not see anything nefarious or wrong with it - the bodies of the deceased won't be used for anything else, after all, and their spirits miss the living often even more than the living miss the dead.
- Mediumship: The practice of acting as a "medium" between the dead and the living, communicating with the afterlife, either through the apparition of the spirit's voice, or nonverbal methods such as writing text or manipulating objects. Such a contact is known as a séance. At its most extreme application, mediumship allows the necromancer to descend to the afterlife (an act known as Katabasis) and return with a soul in tow, manifesting them in this reality as a ghost - however, Riki has yet to achieve such a feat.
- Raising the Dead: When a person dies, a small portion of their spirit continues to linger in their corpse for some time - Necromancers are able to project their Magika to tug onto this lingering spirit and animate the dead. The animated dead are fully subservient to their summoner, but do not retain any of the abilities they had while they were living, essentially acting as mindless decaying hordes of zombies and skeletons.
- Nekyian Resurrection: Raising the dead is an area of effect ability and essentially just turns corpses into puppets with no connection to who they were while living aside for their appearance. Meanwhile, Nekyian Resurrection is an advanced version of Necromancy, closer to a partial "resurrection". With a complex ritual and sacrificing a portion of their own soul, a Necromancer is able to reach out to the soul of a deceased person and tie it to their former body with a spiritual chain, partially bringing them to life. While the soul is not restored to the body, it is able to control it from the afterlife as a puppet, and is thus able to physically interact with the world of the living. If they had unnatural abilities, such as holy boons or magical powers, they are restored, but their body is zombified and will eventually decay.
- Mediumship: A medium is only able to contact a spirit in the afterlife if said spirit is willing to contact him, such a contact may not be forced. Accomplishing a Katabasis is an extremely dangerous act - not only does it take an extreme amount of effort to depart to the afterlife while still having a living body, but the afterlife is obviously also heavily guarded and doesn't want anyone intruding to steal their inhabitants.
- Raising the Dead: The risen dead, as stated before, do not retain the abilities, skills and memories they had while living and instead act as a mindless army of zombies and skeletons. Their individual strength solely stems from their size and mass, as well as any weapons they have with them, and the average risen dead is no stronger than an average human. In addition, the risen dead decay, lose their shape and eventually collapse, losing their connection to the necromancer. The speed of decay depends on how preserved the body was before getting raised - a fresh corpse could stay up for weeks, while a skeleton which has been buried for many years could, at best, remain stable for an hour or two.
- Nekyian Resurrection: Nekyian Resurrection costs the user a portion of their soul - with each resurrection, their body decays and turns less and less lifelike. An average Necromancer could only conduct four such resurrections before their body decays completely (if an another Necromancer is present while they decay, however, they could possibly "rescue" them by turning them to a lich instead). Resurrected beings are not controlled by the necromancer and instead operate by their own free will. Their undead bodies are somewhat restored and preserved by the ritual, but will eventually decay regardless. Being undead, they can take a lot more punishment than a normal person, such as severe wounds or lost limbs, but too much damage, or holy magic, can severe the spiritual chain connecting them to the body and thus "kill" them.
- Life Magic: To the undead, healing spells burn rather than heal, and Slayer weaponry, which is designed to take out the undead, cuts through them like paper.
- Non-Combatant: Riki is not a combatant by any means - in battle, he relies on the corpses he is able to animate as his method of defense and attack alike. While the ritual to raise the dead is relatively speedy and takes about ten seconds, it is useless if there are no bodies to raise anywhere in his vicinity - and sometimes ten seconds can be far too long, too. As such, Riki does best in situations where he has time to prepare - surprise attacks are his kryptonite.
- Casting Knife: A small enchanted knife with impressive drawings and carvings on its blade. It is not fit for combat - however, its blade leaves a temporary narrow bright trail when touching a surface. This is necessary for casting Necromantic spells, as they require specific drawings for the necromancer to project their Magika into deceased bodies and thus reanimate them. It is the only thing which Riki managed to avoid getting confiscated by the Tashar army, by hiding it within his clothes.
Ihsalihna wrote:-snip-
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Hey, great work there! Always nice to see other people using the lore I wrote for my app
Ihsalihna wrote:I'm glad you approve! I always try to incorporate lore that's already been written about lore areas instead of just shoving my own in, plus your stuff was too cool to pass up. Not to mention it'd be fun to write how Sayyida might react if she meets a member of the royal family of her homeland.
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Regarding your question, I'd say your character has plenty enough trinkets as is for the time being - though there's nothing saying you can't get more over the course of the IC. If we're in need of a healer after battles, NPCs are always an option - though, just for good measure, I'm working on one myself
Ihsalihna wrote:Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Regarding your question, I'd say your character has plenty enough trinkets as is for the time being - though there's nothing saying you can't get more over the course of the IC. If we're in need of a healer after battles, NPCs are always an option - though, just for good measure, I'm working on one myself
Gotcha! And yeah, my character is probably going to have to rely on the mods when it comes to finding items and goods to buy and sell. But that opens up more chances for adventure hooks and keeps things balanced so it's for the best, I'd say. Lookin' forward to reading the new app!
- [Ar'el Heritage]: A member of the Ar'el tribe, Saelaam lacks the strength and endurance that other Thalari have, but in turn he has a pair of large black wings that allow him to soar the skies on a whim. As a ser'ana'thal, he has exceptional clarity of thought, though in exchange his instincts are nowhere near as sharp as those of other Thalari.
- [Support Magic]: Saelaam is a decently talented practitioner of magic, though rather than the flashy, destructive kinds that other mages throughout Dascus and Tashar practice, he has opted to focus on less glamorous, though still quite useful spells.
Shield: A simple spell that creates a translucent barrier around the target which is able to take a lot of punishment before breaking down. It can be created in bubble form or wall form - the former protects against attacks from all sides, but the latter has much more raw durability.
Warding Rune: A magically created object that functions much like a shield spell, but is much stronger owing to its greater complexity - they can be used by non-mages, as well. Saelaam can only create them at night, due to the demanding magika cost.
Teleportation: This spell allows Saelaam to, after a brief cast, instantly relocate himself to somewhere in his vicinity or line of sight, and allows him to take objects and people alongside him as well as long as they are in contact with him. Saelaam also possesses the ability to shift the locations of smaller objects and creatures with a quick word and an index finger motion.
Arcane Beacon: A most useful contraption and one of the few innovations of the Enchanter Order in the field of magic, an arcane beacon is a magically-created object that allows its creator or someone with the creator's permission to teleport to it from anywhere in Eboris as if using a regular teleportation spell. The process required to create one is complex and takes quite a bit of time, but Saelaam has a good grasp on it.- [Oadot's Blessing]: The ability that makes Oadot's Chosen so well-liked throughout the continent, this blessing allows Saelaam to heal others of their injuries and ailments, to a degree. Though the blessing is shared by all the Chosen, effective use of it requires knowledge of the proper incantations, and not every wound or disease is healed the same way. Saelaam is quite adept at the use of the blessing and knows many incantations, though the highest peaks of its healing powers remain unknown to him for the time being.
- While his flight is quite a boon, and one that does not tire him out easily, it is still not as perfect as a true bird's - he is slower, for one, and obviously a larger target as well. Archers and ranged magical attacks are the bane of his existence.
- There is only so much punishment his barriers can take, and they excel at protecting against physical attacks - a barrier may protect against dozens of arrows, but just a few magical attacks will get through it.
- Warding runes, while stronger than barriers and lacking a weakness against magic, cannot be created in the heat of battle.
- Teleportation, as mentioned, has clear limits: the caster can only move to somewhere in his line of sight, within a small radius, or to a previously established beacon, and can't take along anything not in contact with him. It requires a brief casting time, as well.
- Since Saelaam has been taught to gather most of his magika from the moon, he usually only has limited reserves during the day.
- Oadot's blessing is an ability that is not hard to pick up, but is extremely difficult to master. Saelaam is quite adept at it, and can temper even grievous wounds, but he will not be helping people grow lost limbs back anytime soon.
- [Robes of the Chosen]: The robes that conform the uniform of Oadot's Chosen, specifically altered not to obstruct Saelaam's wings or impede flight.
- [Dagger]: Exactly what it says on the tin. Saelaam isn't any good with it, but his fellow Chosen have warned him of the impertinence that is taking to the road without the means to defend oneself.
- [Warding Runes]: He always has a couple on him, just in case, as well as a few blanks in order to make more if necessary.
- [Arcane Beacon]: Saelaam carries a fully assembled beacon wherever he goes, in case he needs to set it up in some place he visits. Currently, the only other beacon he has access to is in one of Oadot's sanctuaries, in the Tasharen town of Trelia.
Finland SSR wrote:Name: Riki Farinhait
Finland SSR wrote:I know that we already have someone filling up the Necromancer niche, but imma try to be different here regardless.
(Riki and Natasia will be able to fight on who gets to raise which corpse)
- [The Art of Cutting]: A virtually unknown but exceptionally powerful skill, the user is able to project their slashes and multiply their power by focusing all of their training, skill, talent, and power into a singular, "beautiful" blow. It is achieved by exceptionally long and grueling training, as well as religious following of Sword Law. High affinity with the blade, more so than most mortals, is an absolute requirement to attain The Art of Cutting. Enu Rasa is one of the few people to learn the Art, and is said by her master that her cuts are beautiful but wicked in their execution, whereas Enu finds her teachers' cuts striking and fluid. The Art is a boon gifted by Pankrator, the Lord of Swords, a minor deity of the Pantheon.
- [Steel Edifice]: A relentlessly trained body with significant upkeep and follow up, Enu is much more than the physical prime a normal human woman could achieve through her following of Sword Manual of Au Vidal. She outclasses men in most regards as well, but in all things, she is but a human. She can be overpowered, she can be exhausted, hit, stabbed, you name it.
- [Pattram Sword Hand]: An unarmed combat skill picked up by first reading the Manual of Hand and Feet, a short book on the various martial arts found on the continent, and then by Enu seeking and finding the school in the Lower Oak province of the Empire as part of her training under Precept 11. The school of Sword Hand is an external style that focuses on blows so precise and sharp that they turn the edge of the hand, foot, or finger into a cutting implement strong enough to part flesh, sunder armor, and cleave bone. Unarmed or empty-handed styles that do not strongly focus on internals have little regress against sword hand, and for that manner neither do many weapon styles. It’s one weakness is its incredible drain on stamina. If a practitioner does not kill his opponent in a few serious blows (and the style is rarely used seriously for anything other than killing intent), he will quickly find himself too weak to even drag one foot after the other.
- [Human]: As stated before, Enu Rasa is a human woman, she has wants and needs, she has power, but her body is fragile compared to a good set of armor or magical protection. She needs to piss, shit, eat, and sleep like a normal person. She needs to train to keep herself in fighting shape, as well as keep up her skills with her sword daily.
- [No Magic]: In a world of enchantments and spells, Enu knows nothing of magicka, spells, or anything of that nature. She is exceptionally skilled in liberating heads from their bodies, not in the summoning of whirlwinds or great fires. She is at a disadvantage against sorcerers, though she has faced some in the past, she has managed to overcome only few.
- [Stamina]: The Art of Cutting and Pattram Sword Hand are taxing on the body's energy reserves, and though Enu is trained and equipped to handle such highly rigorous techniques, she can, will, and has ran dry on energy, to the point that she couldn't drag her body away from a severely exhausting battle.
- [Ranged Weaponry]: Without the fantastic armor of warriors or the magical protection offered to mages, Enu has no real defence against arrows and bolts. She herself cannot use those weapons effectively, either, so must be content with only using her niche abilities in melee combat to be effective.
- [The Blade of Want]: A well-taken care of weapon, Enu is often seen cleaning and handling her weapon, but is not afraid to use it for it's intended purpose, and is not attached to it, seeing it more as a tool than a prized possession. She has broken swords previously, and purposefully chose a weapon that a travelling merchant described as, "able to repair itself with the iron-blood spilled from its blade". She still haggled for half a day for it.
- [Travelling Pack]: Nothing of note besides some money, books, and clothes. She tends to carry light and is not used to having much stuff from her upbringing and training.
New Neros wrote:Name: Enu Rasa
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Appearance :
Mage?: No
Bio:
Fighting Style: Swordswoman
Abilities:
- [The Art of Cutting]: (Insert description of ability here)
- [Insert Ability Here]: (Insert description of ability here)
(Note, you do not have a maximum or minimum of 2 abilities. Include both your character’s mundane abilities and any magic they have. If you don’t need all those, delete them. If you need more, copy and paste.)
Limitations (Reasons why your char can’t singlehandedly conquer a kingdom):
- (Insert Limitation)
- (Insert Limitation)
(Note, you do not have a maximum or minimum of 2 limitations. If you don’t need all those, delete them. If you need more, copy and paste.)
Equipment:
- [Insert Equipment]
- [Insert Equipment]
(Note, you do not have a maximum or minimum of 2 equipment. If you don’t need all those, delete them. If you need more, copy and paste. If it is a special piece of equipment please include a description. Also keep in mind your character’s background and what sort of wealth they would have as this greatly influences your starting equipment)
Optional Questionnaire
Personal Quest:
Favorite Factions:
Least Favorite Factions:
Favorite Memory:
Goals:
Greatest Fear:
Religion: