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Beyond the Veil: A GATE Inspired RP (OOC/Open)

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Sterkistan
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1203
Founded: Jul 13, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Sterkistan » Fri Jul 05, 2019 1:48 am

Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name|Rank|Role: Jeane Elicia | Civilian | 1st CRP Translator

Age|Height|Weight: 16 | 160 cm (5'3") | 45 Kilograms (88 Pounds)

Allegiance|Character Class: Independent/Strike Group | Apprentice Mage/Scholar

Magic Sensitivity: Medium, Air affinity


D.O.B|Birthplace|Nationality 22/07/2003 (Anno Domini), 6A-95 (Corlean Calendar) | Village of Tanuri, Empire of Corleans | Corlean

Sex|Sexuality: Female | Heterosexual

Appearance Image & Description:
Image


Biography: Born in the village of Tanuri to parents she never knew, Jeane was abandoned at the home of the local librarian. A skilled mage by the name of 'Rainald Owin', a retired Imperial mage. He took Jeane in and taught her the fundamentals of magic as she grew up. By 7 years old, Jeane was helping around the library and with errands, she learned to read and write quickly. A love of books and an insatiable curiosity lead her to slowly amass her own collection of literature, mostly made up of damaged books she would purchase with her limited pocket change. She would repair these damaged texts, re-writing chapters at a time to add to her collection. Rainald's acknowledgement of Jeane's skill made her the resident text restorer alongside her everyday chores.

The more books Jeane restored and read, the more she learned. Alongside her teachings in magic by her adoptive father, in which she displayed an affinity for air magic. By the time she was 10, she could fluently speak and translate Corlean to Elvish and back. Jeane cut down her magic lessons to focus on Air magic at 14, alongside teachings in medicine by local elders. Wishing to follow her urge to write her own informative texts. She yearned to explore the world and publish novels on the oddities of the empire. Since she turned 15, she has been documenting the extensive wood species of the Empire, but her adoptive father has disallowed her from straying past the nearby village of Trisondil, a decision she resented. This did not stop her from learning the basics of astrology however, and her readings have taught her a great deal about the lands of the Empire. Now, with the arrival of Strike Group Essex, she may just be able to fulfil her wishes.


Personality: Jeane is a quiet, quizzical person. She lives to learn, which gives her an almost insatiable curiosity that has gotten her into more trouble than good. Her logical, calm disposition can often be seen as coldness or disinterest. Jeane tries to contain her excitement, but new or incredible discoveries have a habit of clouding her judgement.

Non-Required Information


Past Occupations, Positions, Roles, Ranks and Achievements: Librarian's Assistant, Test Restoration, Apprentice Mage, Apprentice Doctor

Equipment:
  • Primary Weapon: Plain wooden staff
  • Secondary Weapon: Carving knife
  • Additional Munitions: ~
  • Uniform Equipment: Rugged cloak, breathable clothing, leather boots
  • Misc. & Other Stuff: Sketchbook and ink pen, Textbooks; 'Native Woods of Corlea', 'Astrology in Navigation', Blank leather-bound book, basic medical ointments and wraps, cured meat, leather water bladder

Moral Alignment: Neutral Good

Likes: Exploring, reading, writing, drawing, travelling

Dislikes: Conflict, stress, menial tasks

RP Sample: Star State
Last edited by Sterkistan on Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:37 am, edited 4 times in total.
This Nation does not use NS Statistics, because they suck ass.
A 3.6 civilization, according to this index.
Time Period: Anytime bb
Tech: FT
Beliefs:
Don't be a numpty

Today, is a bad day

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Legatia
Minister
 
Posts: 2391
Founded: Nov 30, 2012
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Legatia » Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:02 am

Hansdeltania wrote:Any other slots for fixed-wing pilots or is it just a 1st Lieutenant who's somehow in command of an entire squadron when the usual billet is by a Captain?


The 1st Lieutenant is in command of the fixed-wing detachment because it is a detachment. The squadron is not at full strength, it is part of VMM-166 SeaElk (REIN) as part of the MEU's Aviation Combat Element.

Also, feel free to apply for a F35 pilot, though be aware you may not get a very active role in the story. Any Strike Group character not directly attached to the CRP are auxiliary characters and will not have main story arcs revolving around them often. Just a fair warning. Though with the Lieutenant around there's the possibility of smaller interactions inbetween.

As for Sterkistan, accepted- both characters added to the roster. Radio callsigns have been added for the 1st CRP and will be added for any tactical assets such as helicopters or jets going forward.
Last edited by Legatia on Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Hansdeltania
Diplomat
 
Posts: 871
Founded: May 17, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Hansdeltania » Sat Jul 06, 2019 1:10 am

Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name | Rank | Role: Jack "Solo" Nguyen | 1st Lieutenant (O-2) | F-35B pilot

Age | Height | Weight: 24 | 5' 8" (173cm) | 160lbs (73kg)

Allegiance | Character Class: Strike Group Essex | F-35B pilot

Magic Sensitivity: Null

DOB | Birthplace | Nationality: 9 May 1995 | San José, California | USA

Sex | Sexuality: Male | heterosexual

Appearance Image & Description:
Image


Biography: Jack was born to Vietnamese parents in 1995—one a nuclear engineer and the other a university professor. His grandfather was a pilot in the former Republic of Vietnam Air Force who came to the US after the end of the Vietnam War. As Jack's father was frequently in San Diego working for the Department of Energy at the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station, his grandfather became an important figure in his life. Jack and his siblings were always seen around their grandfather, who told stories of his days flying for the RVNAF. This got Jack into aviation, and his grandfather convinced him that the Navy was the best branch for flying because he landed a helicopter on the Midway.

Jack joined the local Civil Air Patrol squadron when he was 14 and went through the ranks faster than anyone else in the squadron. By the time he graduated high school, he was a cadet colonel (the highest cadet rank in CAP) and was working on his instrument rating after his private pilot license. He attended UC Berkeley in 2012 and joined the Navy ROTC unit the next year. He graduated with a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering and a commission as a Marine Corps 2nd Lieutenant. Jack went through the Naval Aviator training program with little trouble (thanks to an instrument rating and some commercial instruction) and earned his wings in 2018, flying F-35s. Ironically, he derided the F-35 when he was still in school, comparing it to a Swiss army knife—"Mastering one job is better than being average in nine," he said with a Vietnamese proverb.

His callsign, "Solo", has three (or four, depending on how you see it) origins. The first comes from the fact that he was one of the first five students to solo in Naval Aviator training, the second for making a very low approach during said solo, the third from his preference for solitude, and the fourth for his comment that he would remain a bachelor because of his inability to process romance. Allegedly, a fifth reason is because "he shot first", which is an innuendo for nearly obvious reasons. He often refutes this by stating that he's never had a partner in the first place for that to happen.

Personality: Jack has a severe case of Spanish honor, but he won't necessarily retaliate physically. His sarcasm levels are off the charts when he's dissatisfied with something, and he emphasizes this with the extensive use of understatements. His personality is like a mirror; approach him nicely and he'll usually treat you nicely.

The problem with the latter is that his resting face makes him look unapproachable, combined with his preference for sitting alone (though he won't mind if you sit with him, provided you ask first.) Jack is also very relaxed when it comes to women; unfortunately, it's nearly impossible for him to approach one with romantic intent or for him to register such intents despite knowing that he is an object of a girl's affections.

This is in stark contrast to when he was in high school; he was notorious for flirting with female classmates using puns. For example, a girl that he had chemistry with—both academically and romantically—tripped over another student sitting on the floor before class and said that she always tripped over people. He replied that she might always trip over people but he will always fall for her.

Non-Required Information


Past Occupations, Positions, Roles, Ranks, and Achievements: Lifeguard (2012–2013), Civil Air Patrol Spaatz cadet (cadet colonel, 2009–2015), UC Berkeley NROTC cadet (2013–2016)

Equipment:
Samsung J7 Prime smartphone

Moral Alignment: Neutral good

Likes: Good food, cooking, chocolate milkshakes, Ace Combat, anime (though not extensively), flying

Dislikes: Slander, tsundere-type personalities, pseudoscience, not being able to fly, Apple products

RP Sample: I started RPs in my region.
Last edited by Hansdeltania on Tue Jul 09, 2019 6:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
250+ hours PPL, P28A, C172, DA40, high-performance

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Legatia
Minister
 
Posts: 2391
Founded: Nov 30, 2012
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Legatia » Sat Jul 06, 2019 7:38 am

Hansdeltania wrote:Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name | Rank | Role: Jack "Solo" Nguyen | 1st Lieutenant (O-2) | F-35B pilot


Accepted, added to roster as Wake 6. Welcome aboard.

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Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States
P2TM RP Mentor
 
Posts: 20429
Founded: Feb 20, 2012
Democratic Socialists

Postby Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States » Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:21 am

Hey, Amarian Union, the sergeant will probably expect Imada to say something in response to orders being given. It is impossible to be a soldier while being completely silent.
Last edited by Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States on Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:23 am, edited 2 times in total.
The name's James. James Usari. Well, my name is not actually James Usari, so don't bother actually looking it up, but it'll do for now.

Lack of a real name means compensation through a real face. My debt is settled


Part-time Kebab tycoon in Glasgow.

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Hansdeltania
Diplomat
 
Posts: 871
Founded: May 17, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Hansdeltania » Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:34 am

We don't have an IC thread yet, do we?
250+ hours PPL, P28A, C172, DA40, high-performance

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Mediama
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 490
Founded: Jun 20, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Mediama » Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:37 am

Hansdeltania wrote:We don't have an IC thread yet, do we?


Actually, we do.
Basically, Canada with Naboo style royalty and more British. My supposed foil and puppet nation is Consertoria


MBC News: Mediaman deployments to Qaidi wind down as conflict in Qaidi comes to a resolution|Mediaman troop deployment escalates in Special Region|HMS Mediama redeploys to Gibraltar for refit|Former Qaidi naval taskforce on standby at Gibraltar|Mediaman royal runs away with lover, Mediama provides asylum|Mediaman Red Cross steps up deployment|Ministry of Foreign Affairs works with British North American Union to provide Commonwealth International aid to Special Region|Margery Thompson inspects local pub for Saint Patrick's Day

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The Archipelago Territory
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1964
Founded: May 17, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:45 am

If I were to RP as National Guard could I be O-7 colonel since the guard generally has less authority and doesn’t really have authority over the army anyway?
Last edited by The Archipelago Territory on Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Legatia
Minister
 
Posts: 2391
Founded: Nov 30, 2012
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Legatia » Sat Jul 06, 2019 11:08 am

The Archipelago Territory wrote:If I were to RP as National Guard could I be O-7 colonel since the guard generally has less authority and doesn’t really have authority over the army anyway?


No, because there would be no reason for a National Guard officer of that rank to be deployed with the Strike Group, which is a USN/USMC formation. Colonels are also O-6, not O-7.

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The Archipelago Territory
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1964
Founded: May 17, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sat Jul 06, 2019 2:23 pm

Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name|Rank|Role:
Austin Miller | O-5 Captain | Ship Captain

Age|Height|Weight:
37

Allegiance|Character Class:
Strike Group

Magic Sensitivity:
Null

D.O.B|Birthplace|Nationality
(June 5) Orlando, Florida | American

Sex|Sexuality:
Male | Heterosexual

Appearance Image & Description:
Image



Biography:

After graduating the military academy, Miller transferred to the Navy because he wanted to be able to go abroad and didn’t like army conditions. As a lieutenant, he worked his way up to captain on the U.S.S. Zumwalt, before moving to the Arleigh-Burke ship he is on now. As Captain, when his ship was sent to this world, he willingly gave up leadership to the commander of the other ship, but still remains one



Personality: smart and obeys orders of his military superiors, but will do what is right for his crew.

Non-Required Information



Equipment:
[list]
[*]Primary Weapon: M-17
[*]Secondary Weapon: Less-lethal shotgun (has ability to kill)
[*]Additional Munitions: Swiss Army Knife,
[*]Uniform Equipment: standard
[*]Misc. & Other Stuff: iphone, other important items

RP Sample:

The Archipelago Territory wrote:The Chief Executive was about to speak for 3,000 people. This wasn’t one of his usual campaign rallies or political speeches. Today he would be attempting to persuade his legislators to go to war.

“Paris has become overridden with immigrants from insurgent and unstable regions in the Middle East. Now, don’t get me wrong. I respect their civil liberties. We must not discriminate on race, nor religion. But they wield the flag of the Islamic State! This document that my Chief of Staff distributed to you is a declaration of war against terror in Western Europe. I urge all of you in this room to stand in affirmation of this declaration. I have spoken with the Prime Minister and the Secretary of Military Affairs. We are ready to send cruise missiles and airstrikes. Let us not wait until they come for us, offense is the best defense!” The crowd cheered as Austin paused, seeing his guard walk up to the stage.

“Sir, the meeting in Switzerland has concluded.”

“You can send our ambassador in for a debriefing once my speech is finished.”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible sir. There’s been a terrorist attack in Monterrey. Ambassador Alvarez is among the casualties. Our only member who attended the meeting is dead, a landmark city in ruins. Use it as leverage in your speech, let Prime Minister Brown handle the emergency response” his guard advises.

“You’re right. I’ll get back to my speech now. Send in the National Guard. Tell Brown to invoke martial law. And deploy the first regiment of the International Guard to Faransa via LCVP ships. We don’t need a declaration of war to move Guard units.”

The Chief Executive went back up to the podium. “I’m truly sorry for the delay. It seems that Faransa attacked Monterrey. I hope you understand, this is a bipartisan effort. Liberals and conservatives must unite. So I hereby dismiss this joint-session. Congressional and Parliamentary leadership are holding both a debating and voting period immediately after this session ends.”



[b]Command Ops, Executive Command Center, New Houston
(Image)

What was supposed to be a daily National Security briefing had turned into an intense shouting fest once FSA Domestic had informed them of the attack. Their early forensic report stated that some Egyptian oligarch was most likely behind the attack, but the Secretary of the Army had easily forged a link between him and Faransa.

Austin steps in, watching them all argue. He then sits down, with everyone going silent.

“I’ll Manage the International Guard efforts. The Senate voted for the declaration, but Parliament voted against it. I need you to testify before the Congress and make sure they approve this.”

“Yes sir!” replies the Commander in Chief of the International Guard.

Once the first regiment disembarked in Faransa, they split up. There were five battalions each consisting of 400 men and ten tanks. Captain Harrison, the Staff Sergeant, thought that when the FRA signed its peace treaty with the US, all conflict would end. But the Chief Executive decided to wrench the FRA into another conflict. He was excited to stop these terrorists though. When Chihuahua was in ruins, the Mexicans and Americans teamed up to rebuild it as New Houston, the capitol. They probably would do the same for Monterrey.
Harrison froze when he heard the voice on his radio:

All units, stand down and set up camp. This is the Secretary of Foreign Affairs. Congress has voted. This is a war. A military jet is on its way with a FOAB and another with a MOAB to hit Paris. Remain in France, do not proceed to Paris. This is imminent.

“Stand down!” Harrison yelled, once he heard the announcement. The Air Force was coming. This was going to be intense. Aboard the 747, pilot Elizabeth Brown pushed the button, as the FOAB descended near a military crowd by the Eiffel Tower.

At the UN, things went differently. “Chief Executive Miller here. One thousand International Guard members are on their way to assist oil workers. We would also like to set the second order of business for the day. A FOAB strike was carried out against Faransa, due to their attack on my nation and destruction of the Eiffel Tower.”

The Archipelago Territory wrote:2 Hours Earlier

Command Ops, New Lifewell Executive Command Center
(Image)
The President rushed into the war room, and sat down in his chair. Tons of generals and others were standing, wondering why he had called them there. “We’re going to war” he he said, sitting down. It came as a surprise to all except for Vice President Cooper, the President’s wife, Sofia (who was not normally present in the war room), and his Secretary of Military Affairs, who had all been informed prior to his announcement. Even the Acting Secretary of Foreign Affairs and the Commander in Chief of the International Guard were shocked.

“Might I ask why my Agency, which is critical for a war effort, was not informed prior to today, and why we are going to war?” asked Head of the Federal Cybersecurity Agency. The President hesitated. “Today, I was informed by my Chief Advisor that a Nation about 100 miles out from here, which borders us (it is 2 miles from our waters) was going to invade its nearby territories in order to expand. This unprovoked act of war will not be tolerated.” As the top military officials discussed their options for two hours, the F.R.S. Richmond was on its way to South Reinkalistan. They had no idea what was coming. While they would be worried about an Aircraft Carrier being sent to their Nation, 10 bombers would be flying to South Reinkalistan, ready to strike Tosdoda Harbor and the HMS Sarkos, slowing down the ship for a couple hours.

(Image)
At Franklin Air Force Base, members of the International Guard Air Brigade, a branch of the Department of Foreign Affairs, not a military unit, is preparing to attack South Reinkalistan, and the Media is already writing stories about the unusual activity. They seem to support the war, mostly interpreting King Sarkos’ words as threats, and are inviting military experts to figure out the situation.

Some newspapers, however, are fearing a war on Archipelago soil, and are writing things like this: “The President doesn’t want to wait until South Reinkalistan gets too powerful, and he wants war to show off his military to the international stage, although he would never admit it.” International Guard member Commander Vasquez was being deployed for the third time. He resented the current government. This new President was exploiting the International Guard. Before, the former President only deployed them during a crisis, they were sort of like a fast response unit. But now, instead of using the military to settle his problems, the new President insisted on using the International Guard. Commander Vasquez’s pilots didn’t look so happy either. Instead of allying with South Reinkalistan, the President decided to attack them, even though they had allied with the Raven Corps and several other significant powers.

Meanwhile, the Head of the Federal Cybersecurity Agency wasn’t happy either. “Can you believe it? The President didn’t tell me about a war, then sent me here to this Air Force base just because it has good government-issued VPNs? Normally when I conducted a Cyberattack I had a team with me in my computer room, assisting me. Now he sent me here with you.” He was with three of his agents, a significant downsize from his 50-person computer room. The President underestimated how many agents he would need to pull this off. The International Guard and Archipelago Military (600,000 men) are both smaller than South Reinkalistan’s and the Raven Corps’ army. They wouldn’t stand a chance without a few cyberattacks to intercept communications.

Base Commander John Mardon, who was deploying the troops, was in favor of the attack. He knew that the Archipelago Military, like most others, worked better attacking, not defending. As he looked past his family photos, he shook hands with the pilots who were risking their lives today. While he was worried about the fight, the Tornado GR4s would strike, then regroup and head back to the base before they could be shot down. If any large land forces or naval ships attempted to follow, planes would fly over them and stop them from entering the Archipelago Territory. As he was in his office, the Lieutenant Base Commander passed by. “Sir we’re good to go in 5 minutes.” As he made his way to the runway, John was surprised to see the President there. He saluted him, and the President saluted back. The planes took off, as the President waved. “I thought you were at the Command Center” John tried to say over the roaring engine noises. “I thought I should stop here,” answered the President. “It’s a nice symbolic gesture, and I thought I should pay respects to the Soldiers who are risking their lives. The planes took off, flying to South Reinkalistan.



[/b]
Last edited by The Archipelago Territory on Sat Jul 06, 2019 3:31 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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I am a Progressive Libertarian Capitalist
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The Archipelago Territory
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1964
Founded: May 17, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sat Jul 06, 2019 2:23 pm

It’s not finished yet, just a concept
| LAND OF THE FREE ||AMERICAN||POLITICAL|| RP || IS || UP! | - JOIN NOW!
I am a Progressive Libertarian Capitalist
YANG GANG 2020

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The Archipelago Territory
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1964
Founded: May 17, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sat Jul 06, 2019 5:40 pm

Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name|Rank|Role:
Paul Roland (aka Sir Roland of Chromewell| Knight in the Order of the Camellia

Age|Height|Weight:
30 | 6 feet | 190

Allegiance|Character Class:
To the Emperor and the Order of Camellia

Magic Sensitivity:
Null

D.O.B|Birthplace|Nationality
January 7, 1989 | Chromewell, Corlean Empire | Corleanian
Sex|Sexuality:
(Male Heterosexual)

Appearance Image & Description:
[img](place%20URL%20here)[/img]

Image As a squire
Image as a knight
Image As an Enforcer Knight

Biography:

Born into a noble family in the Empire of Corleans, Paul always dreamed of being a knight, until both his parents died and he was picked by a knight to be his squire. As a squire he fought in several battles although never received credit for it, which shaped him as a knight by giving him experience. When he was 19 he was deployed with the knights in a battle with a foreign army during an expansionist war, in which the knights and squires died and him and a few knights were severely injured but able to fend off enough of the enemy to escape with a few survivors. The Emperor knighted him to take the place of the knight who died, and knighted several others in a ceremony.

He joined the The Order of the Camellia as a knight, and fought in battles, although he didn’t advance his career very much in the order, until he decided to stop fighting in battles and instead policing the empire when he was 28. During his time in the order, he was very close to the Emperor and remains loyal to the crown. While policing he forged a new suit of armor that was threatening to look intimidating. He is widely feared as a top enforcer, but he doesn’t have much political power.

When Essex arrived in the South, Sir Roland was with his fellow knights policing the area, when the marines shot and killed a knight out of ignorance to the situation. He took cover, and took a few shots to his leg and shoulder, but his armor protected him as he and a few knights as they fled the area. While he tried to save his lord, machine gun fire caused knock-back, and his armor started deteriorating. This was the second time that he survived an attack on his squad while his fellow knights died, and he returned to the palace and vowed to avenge the knights that were killed by returning to combat and fighting the marines

Personality:

Non-Required Information


Past Occupations, Positions, Roles, Ranks and Achievements: Squire to a Knight in the Order, Knight in the Order, currently an Enforcer Knight in the order

Equipment:
  • Primary Weapon: large blade
  • Secondary Weapon: metallic armor, iron fist
  • Additional Munitions: knife
  • Uniform Equipment: Gold/Iron Armor and cape as seen in picture
Last edited by The Archipelago Territory on Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:17 pm, edited 9 times in total.
| LAND OF THE FREE ||AMERICAN||POLITICAL|| RP || IS || UP! | - JOIN NOW!
I am a Progressive Libertarian Capitalist
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Legatia
Minister
 
Posts: 2391
Founded: Nov 30, 2012
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Legatia » Sat Jul 06, 2019 6:22 pm

The Archipelago Territory wrote:Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name|Rank|Role:
Sir Paul | Knight in the Order of the Camellia, Military Advisor to the Crown



Number of issues with this application. To start off, you need a first and last name, not just a name and title. It makes no sense to be a 'Royal Military Advisor' and be aligned with the CRP. The CRP is also a composite military unit formed only 5 days ago, it cannot be used as a place of birth. The 'shrouded in mystery' part is also no good, especially for someone that the Empire supposedly would trust advising them on the military.

Flat no on the bit about being the 'most powerful knight' or anything. It also makes very little sense that a knight who would be fighting in the frontline on the battlefield would be randomly made a military advisor to the Crown, and much less so that he would remain in the Order. Also a flat no about being the 'most dangerous member of the order'.

This app is denied. This character is too overpowered in nearly every aspect, and needs to be seriously toned down. Either stick with a knight of the Order, or a military advisor. A regular knight would be better, because an advisor would almost certainly stay in the capital.

The Archipelago Territory wrote:Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name|Rank|Role:
Austin Miller | O-5 Captain | Ship Captain



This application is also denied. You are lacking values for height, weight, character class, birth year, the biography is vague, unrealistic and very short, and.. a 'less-lethal' shotgun should, by its nature, not have the ability to kill.


If you want to rewrite and resubmit both of these, you're welcome to, but I'm not feeling good with either of these characters right now.

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The Archipelago Territory
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1964
Founded: May 17, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:35 am

Legatia wrote:
The Archipelago Territory wrote:Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name|Rank|Role:
Sir Paul | Knight in the Order of the Camellia, Military Advisor to the Crown



Number of issues with this application. To start off, you need a first and last name, not just a name and title. It makes no sense to be a 'Royal Military Advisor' and be aligned with the CRP. The CRP is also a composite military unit formed only 5 days ago, it cannot be used as a place of birth. The 'shrouded in mystery' part is also no good, especially for someone that the Empire supposedly would trust advising them on the military.

Flat no on the bit about being the 'most powerful knight' or anything. It also makes very little sense that a knight who would be fighting in the frontline on the battlefield would be randomly made a military advisor to the Crown, and much less so that he would remain in the Order. Also a flat no about being the 'most dangerous member of the order'.

This app is denied. This character is too overpowered in nearly every aspect, and needs to be seriously toned down. Either stick with a knight of the Order, or a military advisor. A regular knight would be better, because an advisor would almost certainly stay in the capital.

The Archipelago Territory wrote:Strike Group Essex: Personnel File
Required Information


Name|Rank|Role:
Austin Miller | O-5 Captain | Ship Captain



This application is also denied. You are lacking values for height, weight, character class, birth year, the biography is vague, unrealistic and very short, and.. a 'less-lethal' shotgun should, by its nature, not have the ability to kill.


If you want to rewrite and resubmit both of these, you're welcome to, but I'm not feeling good with either of these characters right now.

Nevermind, check discord I put some stuff there, I meant the order not CRP. I’ll change it anyway and scale down some stuff
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Orostan
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5506
Founded: May 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Orostan » Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:42 pm

Legatia wrote:
Orostan wrote:I understand that and am open to compromise. I just think a third party would make the story more interesting and be more fun.


I’m not seeing how. If you want to re-apply as something that fits the fold better, go ahead, but in its form as applied I will be denying both.

How about a guerrilla war against the Empire being fought mostly through ambushes and raids in some of the southern provinces?
Last edited by Orostan on Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“It is difficult for me to imagine what “personal liberty” is enjoyed by an unemployed hungry person. True freedom can only be where there is no exploitation and oppression of one person by another; where there is not unemployment, and where a person is not living in fear of losing his job, his home and his bread. Only in such a society personal and any other freedom can exist for real and not on paper.” -J. V. STALIN

Ernest Hemingway wrote:Anyone who loves freedom owes such a debt to the Red Army that it can never be repaid.
#FreeNSGRojava

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The Archipelago Territory
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1964
Founded: May 17, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:52 pm

Orostan wrote:
Legatia wrote:
I’m not seeing how. If you want to re-apply as something that fits the fold better, go ahead, but in its form as applied I will be denying both.

How about a guerrilla war against the Empire being fought mostly through ambushes and raids in some of the southern provinces?

By knights or earth forces?
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Orostan
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Founded: May 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Orostan » Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:59 pm

The Archipelago Territory wrote:
Orostan wrote:How about a guerrilla war against the Empire being fought mostly through ambushes and raids in some of the southern provinces?

By knights or earth forces?

It's a peasant revolt, mostly.
Last edited by Orostan on Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ormata
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Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Ormata » Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:57 pm

If I might make some observations on the two characters.

The Captain character is...
  1. Incorrect rank. O-5 is a Commander, not a Captain. Captain is O-6.
  2. Unknown vessel name as to what he is currently commanding.
  3. He wasn't Captain of the USS Zumwalt. Just straight up, he isn't. You don't get a great, nice ship as a first command. Normally what will occur is a person is traded around between Divisions (Deck, Supply, Operations, etc) as in one administrative/overseer position (O-2 to O-2 time) or another before qualifying as a higher up position like CHENG (Chief Engineering Officer), Ops (Operations Officer), 1st Lt (Eldest Lt on ship), etc. When Commander is gained, you get XO (Executive Officer, 2nd in command) on a ship before, after 2 years, going up to be CO of same ship or CO of another vessel, likely a supporting one like a Minesweeper. You do not stay on one ship for this duration and even if you could, USS Zumwalt as not been in operation long enough for you to do so.
  4. You do not transfer from 'the military academy' to a branch. You go to that branch's Military Academy. USN has Naval College (and others), Army has Westpoint, so on and so forth.
  5. "...didn't like army conditions". Man he's in for a shock.
  6. Completely ignores O-1 through O-2 of an Officer's career, sorta the building block stages.
  7. Completely ignores O-4 through O-5 of an Officer's career, also important stages.
  8. "As Captain, when his ship was sent to this world, he willingly gave up leadership to the commander of the other ship, but still remains one..." Literally so vague I don't know what this means. What other ship? You are only in command of one vessel at a time and, as such, this doesn't mean anything in a literal sense. Also, you don't give up command of a vessel in any sense of the word. Officers have some choice in what happens to their career and where they go, but big things like that? That's needs of the Navy. Officers can get forced to not retire. Be aware of that.
  9. The personality tells me nothing as far as his interactions with the crew and natives. Doing what is right for a person is entirely subjective. Does he do what is right in his eyes or theirs? Would he fight against a Liberty Policy change in a foreign port that's worse, made up by people who aren't in his command and made up because someone else fucked up? How about as far as scheduling. Does he work his people hard or easy as far as maintenance, getting out of dockyards, etc, forcing a ship to go the extra mile and a half for the scheduling of his superiors or is he content with dockyard periods and extensions? How about family. There's a lot that can be answered for. I mean heck, that’s all pretty specific stuff that would indicate his personality. I’m not sure how stringent he is about the officer-enlisted relationship, how big of an ass he is, etc. General stuff.
  10. OP's statements on the primary and secondary weapons are correct. Furthermore, he literally would not be able to have a shotgun due to policies in Japan which overall severely restrict the ability one would have to own a personal firearm. For all realistic purposes, you can't.

Now as for the knight...
  1. Why is Male Heterosexual in parenthesis...
  2. People in noble families whose parents die aren't adopted by knights. They're kept in the family, probably adopted by an uncle or aunt.
  3. "...his knight died, but he managed to take on the entire army..." He's non-magical, they have mages, he has a sword and is in armor. He's dead as all hell because frankly enough setting a man on fire is a thing when they're in armor and that stuff melting onto you...yeah. Getting severely injured also normally means that your battlefield career is over in medieval terms, if not a person dying from infection.
  4. His primary weapon is extremely general. "Large Blade" means anything from a Kriegsmesser to a Zweihander to an Executioner's Blade, all of which have massively different characteristics and abilities.
  5. Metallic armor is also very vague...and should not be in secondary weapons.

Orostan wrote:How about a guerrilla war against the Empire being fought mostly through ambushes and raids in some of the southern provinces?


Hmmm...you know how well that'd work, right? Kiles and Sienne are using animals as spies. Are you sure you want to try for a guerrilla war...?
Last edited by Ormata on Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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The Archipelago Territory
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Founded: May 17, 2019
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:59 pm

Ormata wrote:
The Captain character is...
  1. Incorrect rank. O-5 is a Commander, not a Captain. Captain is O-6.
  2. Unknown vessel name as to what he is currently commanding.
  3. He wasn't Captain of the USS Zumwalt. Just straight up, he isn't. You don't get a great, nice ship as a first command. Normally what will occur is a person is traded around between Divisions (Deck, Supply, Operations, etc) as in one administrative/overseer position (O-2 to O-2 time) or another before qualifying as a higher up position like CHENG (Chief Engineering Officer), Ops (Operations Officer), 1st Lt (Eldest Lt on ship), etc. When Commander is gained, you get XO (Executive Officer, 2nd in command) on a ship before, after 2 years, going up to be CO of same ship or CO of another vessel, likely a supporting one like a Minesweeper. You do not stay on one ship for this duration and even if you could, USS Zumwalt as not been in operation long enough for you to do so.
  4. You do not transfer from 'the military academy' to a branch. You go to that branch's Military Academy. USN has Naval College (and others), Army has Westpoint, so on and so forth.
  5. "...didn't like army conditions". Man he's in for a shock.
  6. Completely ignores O-1 through O-2 of an Officer's career, sorta the building block stages.
  7. Completely ignores O-4 through O-5 of an Officer's career, also important stages.
  8. "As Captain, when his ship was sent to this world, he willingly gave up leadership to the commander of the other ship, but still remains one..." Literally so vague I don't know what this means. What other ship? You are only in command of one vessel at a time and, as such, this doesn't mean anything in a literal sense. Also, you don't give up command of a vessel in any sense of the word. Officers have some choice in what happens to their career and where they go, but big things like that? That's needs of the Navy. Officers can get forced to not retire. Be aware of that.
  9. The personality tells me nothing as far as his interactions with the crew and natives. Doing what is right for a person is entirely subjective. Does he do what is right in his eyes or theirs? Would he fight against a Liberty Policy change in a foreign port that's worse, made up by people who aren't in his command and made up because someone else fucked up? How about as far as scheduling. Does he work his people hard or easy as far as maintenance, getting out of dockyards, etc, forcing a ship to go the extra mile and a half for the scheduling of his superiors or is he content with dockyard periods and extensions? How about family. There's a lot that can be answered for. I mean heck, that’s all pretty specific stuff that would indicate his personality. I’m not sure how stringent he is about the officer-enlisted relationship, how big of an ass he is, etc. General stuff.
  10. OP's statements on the primary and secondary weapons are correct. Furthermore, he literally would not be able to have a shotgun due to policies in Japan which overall severely restrict the ability one would have to own a personal firearm. For all realistic purposes, you can't.

The character is scrapped. I tried to write him but it was too boring so I got rid of the character
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Ormata
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Founded: Jun 30, 2016
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Ormata » Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:01 pm

The Archipelago Territory wrote:The character is scrapped. I tried to write him but it was too boring so I got rid of the character


OK.

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The Archipelago Territory
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:02 pm

Ormata wrote:If I might make some observations on the two characters.

Now as for the knight...
  1. Why is Male Heterosexual in parenthesis...
  2. People in noble families whose parents die aren't adopted by knights. They're kept in the family, probably adopted by an uncle or aunt.
  3. "...his knight died, but he managed to take on the entire army..." He's non-magical, they have mages, he has a sword and is in armor. He's dead as all hell because frankly enough setting a man on fire is a thing when they're in armor and that stuff melting onto you...yeah. Getting severely injured also normally means that your battlefield career is over in medieval terms, if not a person dying from infection.
  4. His primary weapon is extremely general. "Large Blade" means anything from a Kriegsmesser to a Zweihander to an Executioner's Blade, all of which have massively different characteristics and abilities.
  5. Metallic armor is also very vague...and should not be in secondary weapons.

Orostan wrote:How about a guerrilla war against the Empire being fought mostly through ambushes and raids in some of the southern provinces?


Hmmm...you know how well that'd work, right? Kiles and Sienne are using animals as spies. Are you sure you want to try for a guerrilla war...?

You know that’s not the character right? I changed it to:

Born into a noble family in the Empire of Corleans, Paul always dreamed of being a knight, until both his parents died and he was picked by a knight to be his squire. As a squire he fought in several battles although never received credit for it, which shaped him as a knight by giving him experience. When he was 19 he was deployed with the knights in a battle with a foreign army during an expansionist war, in which the knights and squires died and him and a few knights were severely injured but able to fend off enough of the enemy to escape with a few survivors. The Emperor knighted him to take the place of the knight who died, and knighted several others in a ceremony.

He joined the The Order of the Camellia as a knight, and fought in battles, although he didn’t advance his career very much in the order, until he decided to stop fighting in battles and instead policing the empire when he was 28. During his time in the order, he was very close to the Emperor and remains loyal to the crown. While policing he forged a new suit of armor that was threatening to look intimidating. He is widely feared as a top enforcer, but he doesn’t have much political power.

When Essex arrived in the South, Sir Roland was with his fellow knights policing the area, when the marines shot and killed a knight out of ignorance to the situation. He took cover, and took a few shots to his leg and shoulder, but his armor protected him as he and a few knights as they fled the area. While he tried to save his lord, machine gun fire caused knock-back, and his armor started deteriorating. This was the second time that he survived an attack on his squad while his fellow knights died, and he returned to the palace and vowed to avenge the knights that were killed by returning to combat and fighting the marines.

Sir Roland of Chromewell
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Ormata
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Founded: Jun 30, 2016
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Ormata » Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:07 pm

The Archipelago Territory wrote:
Ormata wrote:If I might make some observations on the two characters.

Now as for the knight...
  1. Why is Male Heterosexual in parenthesis...
  2. People in noble families whose parents die aren't adopted by knights. They're kept in the family, probably adopted by an uncle or aunt.
  3. "...his knight died, but he managed to take on the entire army..." He's non-magical, they have mages, he has a sword and is in armor. He's dead as all hell because frankly enough setting a man on fire is a thing when they're in armor and that stuff melting onto you...yeah. Getting severely injured also normally means that your battlefield career is over in medieval terms, if not a person dying from infection.
  4. His primary weapon is extremely general. "Large Blade" means anything from a Kriegsmesser to a Zweihander to an Executioner's Blade, all of which have massively different characteristics and abilities.
  5. Metallic armor is also very vague...and should not be in secondary weapons.



Hmmm...you know how well that'd work, right? Kiles and Sienne are using animals as spies. Are you sure you want to try for a guerrilla war...?

You know that’s not the character right? I changed it to:

Born into a noble family in the Empire of Corleans, Paul always dreamed of being a knight, until both his parents died and he was picked by a knight to be his squire. As a squire he fought in several battles although never received credit for it, which shaped him as a knight by giving him experience. When he was 19 he was deployed with the knights in a battle with a foreign army during an expansionist war, in which the knights and squires died and him and a few knights were severely injured but able to fend off enough of the enemy to escape with a few survivors. The Emperor knighted him to take the place of the knight who died, and knighted several others in a ceremony.

He joined the The Order of the Camellia as a knight, and fought in battles, although he didn’t advance his career very much in the order, until he decided to stop fighting in battles and instead policing the empire when he was 28. During his time in the order, he was very close to the Emperor and remains loyal to the crown. While policing he forged a new suit of armor that was threatening to look intimidating. He is widely feared as a top enforcer, but he doesn’t have much political power.

When Essex arrived in the South, Sir Roland was with his fellow knights policing the area, when the marines shot and killed a knight out of ignorance to the situation. He took cover, and took a few shots to his leg and shoulder, but his armor protected him as he and a few knights as they fled the area. While he tried to save his lord, machine gun fire caused knock-back, and his armor started deteriorating. This was the second time that he survived an attack on his squad while his fellow knights died, and he returned to the palace and vowed to avenge the knights that were killed by returning to combat and fighting the marines.

Sir Roland of Chromewell


You know I wrote that, posted, realized it was changed, and hastily cut shit out...but yes, #3 no longer applies. All other points there still apply.

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Amarian Union
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Founded: Jun 24, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Amarian Union » Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:20 pm

Orostan wrote:
The Archipelago Territory wrote:By knights or earth forces?

It's a peasant revolt, mostly.



You know how well this is gonna go, right? I’d hate to burst your bubble but it wouldn’t end well or even function in this RP. Two characters or so can communicate with animals and pretty much gather intelligence on almost anything including a guerrilla war and, not to mention, the entire thing won’t work in this context (there hasn’t been any build up whatsoever to it and to have it appear outta nowhere won’t work out for the RP, especially since the focus is on the CRP, not necessarily third party factions). I know you’re really addament about this but it won’t function in this kind of RP. Now, if Leg has an idea how to work it, then that’s a discussion tkcbe has with him but, in all honesty, a rebellion won’t function in the RP; not right out of the gate or not without the appropriate conditions to start one.

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The Archipelago Territory
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Archipelago Territory » Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:29 pm

Ormata wrote:
The Archipelago Territory wrote:You know that’s not the character right? I changed it to:

Born into a noble family in the Empire of Corleans, Paul always dreamed of being a knight, until both his parents died and he was picked by a knight to be his squire. As a squire he fought in several battles although never received credit for it, which shaped him as a knight by giving him experience. When he was 19 he was deployed with the knights in a battle with a foreign army during an expansionist war, in which the knights and squires died and him and a few knights were severely injured but able to fend off enough of the enemy to escape with a few survivors. The Emperor knighted him to take the place of the knight who died, and knighted several others in a ceremony.

He joined the The Order of the Camellia as a knight, and fought in battles, although he didn’t advance his career very much in the order, until he decided to stop fighting in battles and instead policing the empire when he was 28. During his time in the order, he was very close to the Emperor and remains loyal to the crown. While policing he forged a new suit of armor that was threatening to look intimidating. He is widely feared as a top enforcer, but he doesn’t have much political power.

When Essex arrived in the South, Sir Roland was with his fellow knights policing the area, when the marines shot and killed a knight out of ignorance to the situation. He took cover, and took a few shots to his leg and shoulder, but his armor protected him as he and a few knights as they fled the area. While he tried to save his lord, machine gun fire caused knock-back, and his armor started deteriorating. This was the second time that he survived an attack on his squad while his fellow knights died, and he returned to the palace and vowed to avenge the knights that were killed by returning to combat and fighting the marines.

Sir Roland of Chromewell


You know I wrote that, posted, realized it was changed, and hastily cut shit out...but yes, #3 no longer applies. All other points there still apply.


#1) doesn’t matter
#2) let’s say the knight was in his family’s crest
#4) look at the image for his blade
#5) same thing, look at image. I’m saying he can use his metal glove to punch someone
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Mediama
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Posts: 490
Founded: Jun 20, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Mediama » Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:31 pm

Ormata wrote:Hmmm...you know how well that'd work, right? Kiles and Sienne are using animals as spies. Are you sure you want to try for a guerrilla war...?


Better yet, those ‘guerrillas’ would probably get mauled by ‘gorillas’.
Last edited by Mediama on Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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