The Halcyon Days, a Dice RP (IC; Closed)

[DAFT Universe]

Zeta was dumbfounded by the pure power of that weapon.
He was annoyed that his clothes only changed color, but was so so so grateful for his shield. "I knew getting a shield was a good idea." he said. Then he noticed the bio cannon was entact... He put down Selwyn and picked up the bio-cannon, hoping it wouldn't destroy him.

ACTION: Find a safe way over the hole

[Pherdistan]

Lenin decided not to enunciate her curses this time. Clearly, she was about to have a child rather quickly, the foal was growing quite quickly within her. Getting her bearings, the horse lost them again when a large shake went through the building. It seemed that the Earth itself was trembling with the anger of the world's oppressed!

Eventually, the crazy tilting subsided, and Lenin was able to regain her bearings a second time. The corridors leading either way were rather dull, and a door stood right in front of her. But busting another door would likely mean battle, something she couldn't afford to do pregnant. So her only real options were to go down the corridors. And hope.

Action: Find a hospital

[The Northern Cresent]

Seeing the orcs gone, Lexa decided tolook down the hole.

[Escalan Corps-Star Island]

Selwyn reached out, sensing the presence of the orcs as he shut his eyes. He (mentally, of course) cleared his throat to begin addressing them when the world was rent asunder. An involuntary yelp escaped him as the blast caught him and spun him around, striking him against the floor several times. Head spinning, Selwyn attempted to stand and was assaulted by a wave of pain. That can't be good. I'm fairly certain my joints aren't meant to be bent that direction.

Figuring it'd be wiser to let others proceed for now while he recovered, the retriever wondered if it might be wise to try and regularise his transformation to and from a block of metal. It might be risky, but it'd be a damn sight better than this. Looking towards the hole, Selwyn saw the Hell Bird standing up and tucking a few feathers back in place, seemingly none the worse for where despite having caught the forefront of the explosion.

Ought I? The implications are unpleasant, but I could use the help. . .

Fine.. Selwyn looked pointedly at the bird and asked, Mind helping me out, if you could? My species really doesn't do so well with earth-shattering explosions.

Action: Politely ask Hell Bird to heal him.

[Olthar]

Forest Whitaker: 3 - 1 = 2
You try reaching out for the orc souls, buy you can't seem to grasp them. They move on to the afterlife without molestation.

Firegastricacid: 5 - 1 = 4
You fling yourself off the wall and barely grab hold of the edge of the hole. Pulling yourself up, you find yourself back in the starting room. You immediately notice that several orange construction cones have been placed around the hole as well as a caution sign. The door is closed once again, and the TV screen is off. Everything else is just as you left it.

Falafel: 6
You begin your search by glancing at the labels on the crates and find that they are all government property. They are each numbered, but without an archival list of some sort, those numbers are meaningless to you. This, you decide to simply crack one open and find what appears to be a golden box decorated with ancient script and religious imagery.
Knowledge Check: 5
Being the history buff that you are, you immediately identify the object as the mythical Ark of the Covenant.
+1 Historic Knowledge

E-Z B-Gone: 5 - 1 = 4
Despite your fear of the dark, you charge into the black abyss of the hole and rush on past to the light on the far. You run through the remains of a small tunnel and emerge into a huge service service tunnel, large enough to fit a passenger plane through it. It's moderately well lit, but the tunnel continues beyond your sight on both the left and the right. There appear to be no doors or side tunnels anywhere.

Zeebs: 6
In your haste to pick up the Bio-Cannon, you accidentally hurl Selwyn as hard as you can.
Reflex Save: 3 + 1 = 4
Selwyn quickly reacts and rolls with the throw, landing safely.
Roll: 2
Unfortunately, you forgot where, exactly, the Bio-Cannon was dropped and waste a bunch of time failing to find it.
Roll: 4
You look at the hole and determine that the safest, easiest way across is to walk. You quickly join Ezekiel in the service tunnel.

Twilight Sparkle: 3
You arbitrarily decide to go left down the hallway, and you eventually come upon a four way intersection. The path ahead ends almost immediately at a door. To the left, the path curves right, continuing forward. The right path stretches past your sight and is lined with countless doors on both sides.

Blexa: 4
You gaze across the hole and examine it. It's a hole.

Coyote Dave: 3 - 1 = 2
You ask the Hell Bird to heal you as politely as you can. The bird tells you to stop wasting both of your time and just heal yourself.

---

Hell Bird: 3 + 1 = 4
The Hell Bird flies over the hole and into the service tunnel.

Death Knight: 3
The Death Knight stares at Winthrop with its unblinking eyes.

---

Universal:
Dark Cave: 40 foot vision

Lexa:
+1 Fire Resistance
Worn: Nothing
Hand 1: Arm Torch (+1 Seeing in darkness)
Abilities: Anti-Pink Ray
Injuries: Moderately wounded, Burned Hands (-1 Grabbing Things)

Oosani Fireblood:
Worn: Ebony Mail (+1 Defense, +1 Magic Defense, +1 Stealth)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Empty
Divine Blessing: Boethiah's Blessing (+1 Attack, +1 Fire Resistance, -1 Will)
Injuries: Ruptured Ears (-1 Hearing)
Mental Injuries: Severe Insanity (-3 Thinking)
Bounty: 100 gp
Quest: Kill 5 intelligent beings (0/5)

Sir Winthrop Eddleton the Younger:
+1 Defense, +1 Will, +2 Strength
Worn: Anti-Paladin Armor (+2 Defense, +1 Intimidation, -1 Morality, -1 Agility)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Wolf Head Staff (+1 Attack, +Extra Attack, +Rabies)

Allies:
Death Knight:
+1 Attack, +1 Dark Magic, +1 Intimidation, +2 Turn Resistance, -3 Morality, +1 Strength
Worn: Nothing
Hand 1: Clearly Evil Axe (+1 Attack, -1 Morality)
Hand 2: Empty

Selwyn:
-1 Talking, -1 French Things, +1 Senses, +1 Reflexes
Worn: Nothing
Mouth: Empty
Injuries: Moderately wounded
Abilities: Bi-Directional Telepathy

Allies:
Hell Bird:
+1 Attack, +1 Talking, +1 Will
Worn: Aviator Armor (+1 Defense, +1 Flying)
Talons: Empty
Abilities: Pyrokinesis, Healing

Ezekiel:
Worn: Shoddy Riot Gear (+1 Defense against hippies, +1 The Man)
Hand 1: Bloody Mug (+1 Attack, +Weapon Speed, +Everfull Blood)
Hand 2: Empty
Mental Injuries: Mild Insanity (-1 Thinking)
Fears: Nyctophobia

Zeta:
+1 Wilderness Survival
Worn: Plain Clothes (+1 Agility, +Color Changing)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Gloobglorian Shield (+1 Defense, +1 Magic Defense)
Injuries: Slightly wounded
Abilities: Quick Hands

Jade:
+1 Fortitude, +1 Will, +1 Reflexes
Worn: Bayonetta Armor (+2 Defense, +1 Agility, -3 Modesty)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Bio-Cannon (+2 Attack, +Blood Power)
Injuries: Dead
Arch Nemesis: Bandit King

Vladimir Lenin:
+1 Seduction
Worn: Nothing
Mouth: Hammer of Russia (+1 Attack, +1 Cold Resistance)
Diseases: Second Trimester Pregnancy (-1 Emotional Stability, -1 Agility)
Pregnancy Counter: 5 rounds

Haapsalu Argyrix:
+1 Historic Knowledge
Worn: Conglomerate Armor (+3 Defense, -2 Agility)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Empty

[DAFT Universe]

Well this was a big tunnel.
Zeta looked down it, surprised that something this large could have been built down here. Well, the only decision to make now was to Decide which way down to go. Better leave that up to someone else.

ACTION: Follow ezekiel.

[Esternial]

It would appear Ezekiel had reached a conundrum. Left or right?

The easiest solution would be to flip a coin, but Ezekiel had no coins. It seemed there was only one solution left.

Eenie, minie, moe...

Action: Go right.

[G-Tech Corporation]

Winthrop harrumphed upon feeling the presence of the Orcish lives fade in to the Great Beyond. Well, necromancy was a difficult art at the best of times. Such were the ways of the paths of darkness. For now there was ought else to do in the vast cavernous pit, save move on from it. The deaths of the Orcs were a good start, in their own way, but more innocent souls to force beyond the Veil would be preferable. His goal fixed, the Scion set off, to seek new horizons.

Action: Cross crater to tunnel

[Pherdistan]

Lenin muttered to herself. She had, of course, chosen the left path, as a good communist, but was now stuck in these hallways. However, going into the hallway curving right would be a betrayal of her principles, as well as the other leading directly to some reactionary hell, so she decided to risk the harm needed to find a proper place for her soon-to-be child.

Action: Bust down the door in front of her

[Galnius]

Oosani Fireblood silently cheered to herself for her incredible climbing prowess, having reached the room she had fallen from.

Unsure what to do, she thought for a moment before making a clear decision. Having lost her friend the hammer, she needed a new weapon. A new gamer! And in this room was a weapons rack, reasoned her author, hearing that everything save the whole was the same. Thus...

Action: Find a new hammer

[Zjaum]

Huzzah! What a find!

While this was clearly just luck, Haapsalu's pride was swelling up inside him. He was expecting swords or perhaps minor treasures, but this... this... was greater than any find he could imagine! He would bring joy to billions of people across the world, if he ever managed to return to society. However, he could not lift the ark by itself, and it was said that touching the ark directly would result in death, anyway. Ergo, the best option would be to mark its location and head for the warehouse exit.

Action: Find the exit, creating markers along the way that could be traced back to the Ark.

[Escalan Corps-Star Island]

Selwyn simply didn't understand the bird. One moment it was at least vaguely helpful, if snarky, but the next it downright endangered his existence. Unfortunately, he wasn't given much time to ponder this as he was hurled bodily across the hole by an overeager Zeta in search of the suicide weapon that had nearly killed him. Phenomenal.

He briefly considered biting Zeta, but changed his mind fairly rapidly when he saw how far away he now was. And his joints still hurt. He suspected there was something still wrong with them, and, summoning his resolve, he endeavoured to fix them. Though he recognised he probably couldn't regenerate fully or become a Super Saiyan, the retriever decided there was nothing to lose from summoning the Dank Powers of the world.

Action: Become fully healed, regenerated doggo by calling upon doggo memes.

[Olthar]

Zimbabwe: N/A
Warning: you have performed an invalid action. Please restart your device and try again.

Evanescence: 5
You head to the right and walk for a good half mile. You eventually come upon what appears to be a maintenance door on your left. The tunnel still continues onward.

The Wiz: 4
You walk over to the tunnel. <insert tunnel description here>

A Horse of Course, of Course: 4 + 1 = 5
Gripping your hammer tightly, you charge the door and smash it to smithereens. At this rate, you're going to earn the title of Door Slayer. Those poor, innocent doors. Anyways, you find yourself in what appears to be the backroom of a store. Steel shelves filled with cardboard boxes line the walls, and several pallets of boxes sit in the middle of the floor. To your right, there is a baler. A young man in a blue vest is throwing cardboard into the baler but stops when you bust in. He stares at you, unsure of what to do. Eventually, he nervously says "Uh...You can't be back here, Ma'am."

Firevaginallubrication: 5
You don't even have to head to the weapon rack to find a big, sturdy sledgehammer. There's one leaned up against the wall. It must belong to a construction worker.
Gain Construction Hammer! +1 Attack! +1 Breaking Things!

Harpsichord: 3
You look around a bit and find a door. It looks to lead to an office of some sort. It is, technically, an exit from the warehouse proper.

Clifford: 6 - 1 = 5
You call up the power of Doggo, The Good Boy, who shines a holy light upon you and blesses you with his memes. Your wounds heal, and when you open your eyes, you find yourself wearing the robes of Doggo. You now know what you must do: spread the word of Doggo.
Gain Doggo Robes!
New Quest: Start the Church of Doggo!

---

Hell Bird: 4
While impatiently waiting for Selwyn, the Hell Bird melts one of the light bulbs.

Death Knight: 1
The Death Knight attempts to follow Winthrop. However, it trips on a loose rock and falls flat on its face.
Barely wounded

---

Lexa:
+1 Fire Resistance
Worn: Nothing
Hand 1: Arm Torch (+1 Seeing in darkness)
Abilities: Anti-Pink Ray
Injuries: Moderately wounded, Burned Hands (-1 Grabbing Things)

Oosani Fireblood:
Worn: Ebony Mail (+1 Defense, +1 Magic Defense, +1 Stealth)
Hand 1: Construction Hammer (+1 Attack, +1 Breaking Things)
Hand 2: Empty
Divine Blessing: Boethiah's Blessing (+1 Attack, +1 Fire Resistance, -1 Will)
Injuries: Ruptured Ears (-1 Hearing)
Mental Injuries: Severe Insanity (-3 Thinking)
Bounty: 100 gp
Quest: Kill 5 intelligent beings (0/5)

Sir Winthrop Eddleton the Younger:
+1 Defense, +1 Will, +2 Strength
Worn: Anti-Paladin Armor (+2 Defense, +1 Intimidation, -1 Morality, -1 Agility)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Wolf Head Staff (+1 Attack, +Extra Attack, +Rabies)

Allies:
Death Knight:
+1 Attack, +1 Dark Magic, +1 Intimidation, +2 Turn Resistance, -3 Morality, +1 Strength
Worn: Nothing
Hand 1: Clearly Evil Axe (+1 Attack, -1 Morality)
Hand 2: Empty
Injuries: Barely wounded

Selwyn:
-1 Talking, -1 French Things, +1 Senses, +1 Reflexes
Worn: Doggo Robes
Mouth: Empty
Abilities: Bi-Directional Telepathy
Quest: Start the Church of Doggo

Allies:
Hell Bird:
+1 Attack, +1 Talking, +1 Will
Worn: Aviator Armor (+1 Defense, +1 Flying)
Talons: Empty
Abilities: Pyrokinesis, Healing

Ezekiel:
Worn: Shoddy Riot Gear (+1 Defense against hippies, +1 The Man)
Hand 1: Bloody Mug (+1 Attack, +Weapon Speed, +Everfull Blood)
Hand 2: Empty
Mental Injuries: Mild Insanity (-1 Thinking)
Fears: Nyctophobia

Zeta:
+1 Wilderness Survival
Worn: Plain Clothes (+1 Agility, +Color Changing)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Gloobglorian Shield (+1 Defense, +1 Magic Defense)
Injuries: Slightly wounded
Abilities: Quick Hands

Vladimir Lenin:
+1 Seduction
Worn: Nothing
Mouth: Hammer of Russia (+1 Attack, +1 Cold Resistance)
Diseases: Second Trimester Pregnancy (-1 Emotional Stability, -1 Agility)
Pregnancy Counter: 6 rounds

Haapsalu Argyrix:
+1 Historic Knowledge
Worn: Conglomerate Armor (+3 Defense, -2 Agility)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Empty

[Galnius]

Once again united with a hammer, Oosani let's out a cry of enthusiasm, or was it euthanization...Ah, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that she, Oosani Fireblood, had a hammer.

However, a hammer wasn't any good if she couldn't use it to smash skulls. Thus, she had to find a way out.

Action: Find a way out

[G-Tech Corporation]

Hm. Well, Winthrop had no intention of larking off in either direction for a cheery infinite walk, and his ally was having trouble navigating the pit of blasted rubble. Fair enough, he supposed. No visible doors meant, when all other options were considered, invisible doors. Placing a hand as large as a spade-head against one of the tunnel walls, the Scion used an old trick he learnt in the depths of Du Weldenvarden in happier times. Letting his awareness open, a feat few accomplished, he felt the walls of the tunnel grow clear in his mind. Every crack, every imperfection... every secret.

Action: Search for hidden passages in the near part of the tunnel

[Zjaum]

How fortunate! What seemed to be an unending warehouse finally has an end! Hopefully, he could track his way back to the Ark. Whether or not he could, nothing mattered if he was dead, or alone for the rest of his life; he was almost as glad to find the exit as he was to find the Ark. Now, to figure out what lay beyond that door...

Action: Pass through the door and search the office, particularly for items of value or other doors.

[Esternial]

With a frown, Ezekiel observed the maintenance door. Then she looked further down the tunnel. Then back at the maintenance door.

Frankly, she was getting a bit tired of walking.

Action: Open the maintenance door.

[Pherdistan]

Lenin nodded her head with satisfaction. Another instrument of oppression smashed before the might of the Rodina! She was on a roll. However, her pleased smiled quickly turned into a frown around the hammer.

She was in a bourgeois packing plant, no doubt about it. The dull, despairing metals, the towers of boxes, the single, solitary, no doubt miserable and oppressed wage slave toiling within it; truly, she had entered the belly of the beast. Of course, the worker, like a feudal servant, informed her that she, the representative of the working class, was not permitted on these premises! That scoundrel of a capitalist landlord! This man's boss would pay for his crimes against the people.

But first, she needed to deal with the oppressed laborer before her. She decided it wouldn't do to try telepathy at the moment. She could do that after the climax. She was already pregnant, it wasn't like it could get worse, could it?

Action: Seduce the man.

[Escalan Corps-Star Island]

Selwyn, being more than a little bit of a snob, did not expect to meet with much success in his endeavour to heal himself through appealing to base forms of humour. Memes. They were even more banal and repulsive than bad puns. I really oughtn't do this, but I'm left with very little recourse, grumbled the dog. So be it; I shall have to try.

Selwyn closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He really had no idea to invoke the power of something as. . . vaporous as memes, but since nothing else popped into his head at the time, all he could project was the question "Who's a good boy?" How disappointing. It was then all the more surprising when he received a swift response.

"Greetings, Selwyn." His fur stood on end. "You have been visited by the Doggo of Proselytisation and Healing! Swift recovery and strength will come to you, but only if you spread my message and say 'All praise Doggo!' so others may know of my power and benevolence. There may be belly-rubs in it for you as well, come to think of it.

Were his eyes not closed already, Selwyn would have narrowed them in suspicion. "How did you have any clue I was fond of belly-rubs? That's a secret as closely guarded as the contents of Area 51. . ."

Doggo laughed. "I am a patron saint of your kind, Selwyn. There are many things I am privy to."

"A patron saint? How many of you are there, then?"

"Many, many indeed," mused Doggo. "You see, perhaps a parallel with Hinduism would not be amiss. Just as there are many forms of Vishnu, there are many. . . aspects of me. We are all one and the same, yet we present ourself in a more comprehensible way, thus you see only a facet of the whole that is Doggo. For example, there is the Doggo of Sleep, the Doggo of Revolution, and many more besides. In this case, you needed healing, support, and of course conversion to the cause, so this is how I chose to appear to you."

"Looking like the Pope?" questioned Selwyn, amused.

"Well yes, I suppose I flatter myself somewhat. Though a perk of being a deity is the ability to decide on your clothing without regular limitations." Doggo smiled, adjusting his hat with a large paw.

"Very well then. So what must I do, in non-memetic terms?"

"Why, Selwyn, very little. You see, now that you are aware of my existence, it is a simple matter to inform others of my abilities and love for all dog-kind. Great works may be done through our species, but so many poor pooches remain unaware of my existence as anything more than a puppyhood dream." Doggo shook his head sadly. "But you, who have the gift of speech and an iron resolve, may yet be of great service in saving and organising your people, and others besides."

"Sounds reasonable, I suppose. As for my injuries?"

"All repaired. You really ought to stay away from explosions if possible; they're rather hard on the joints. As soon as you return to your body, you'll be set to go."

"I cannot thank you enough," sighed Selwyn.

"Perhaps, perhaps not. Only time will tell," laughed Doggo, rapidly disappearing as Selwyn returned from his trance-like state.To his shock, he noticed he was now wearing robes of the same cut and cloth as Doggo had, only in crimson instead of white. There was no accompanying hat; he supposed he'd have to ask for one later to complete the look. In the meantime, he'd best be moving on. Seeing Winthrop moving rapidly away and deciding the gigantic man would be at minimum useful have around, he rose to his feet and loped after the Scion.

Action: Follow Winthrop.

[DAFT Universe]

Zeta decided to walk down the left tunnel.

ACTION: walk down left tunnel.

(Sorry, right now I'm just not in the mood...)

[The Northern Cresent]

Action: Look for a safe way down.

[Olthar]

Fireinterstitialfluid: 4
The door seems like a pretty decent way out, and look! It isn't even locked! You open the door and walk out. You find yourself in a well-lit hallway with the same smooth marble stone as the room. The hallway stretches far and ends at a three way intersection. Between here and there, however, there is a door on your right.

Losethrop: 4 - 1 = 3
You knock around the walls for a bit and eventually find an area that you can swear sounds different.

Haappy Buunny: 3
The office appears to be a small room with no other exits. It's filled with filing cabinets which you're too lazy to look through. You try opening the topmost drawer of the desk but find it locked, resulting in you giving up and not bothering to check the other two drawers.

Epsom Salt: 4
Opening the door, you see a staircase before you which leads upwards. There is nothing else of note.

Whorse: 6 + 1 = 7
You don't even have to try hard to woo the Walmart employee as he falls for you almost immediately. He tears off his pants, and the two of you go at it right there on the cold, hard, concrete floor. It doesn't take long for other employees to come by, all of whom quickly join in, leading to an all out orgy that lasts several days. The whole experience was a complete whirlwind of sex and drugs, and you only remember maybe a third of it. You eventually regain conciousness and find yourself alone in a dirty alleyway. Your hammer is gone, and you have a tattoo of a flaming chicken on your right flank. You're also pretty sure that you have a bunch of STDs.
Lose Hammer of Russia!
Gain Flaming Chicken Tattoo!
Gain STDs! (+Itchiness)

Red Rover: 5
You follow Winthrop like the good little dog you are. You walk right up to him and sit down, panting and waging your tail. If you weren't a dog, it would be completely degrading. Winthrop looks down and sees you there. He smiles and pets you. It's nice.

Zorblax: 4
You head down the lefthand tunnel for nearly a full mile before coming upon a large, open space. There's no light, however, so you have no idea what's in it.

Looney Tune: 3
It appears that the safest way to cross the hole would be to walk across it.

---

Hell Bird: 1
The Hell Bird stares in disgust at Selwyn's complete lack of self-respect and decides to leave him, choosing a new companion. It flies after Ezekiel who seems to be making actual progress.
Selwyn: Lose Hell Bird!
Ezekiel: Gain Hell Bird!

Death Knight: 2
After its embarrassing prat fall, the Death Knight attempts once more to cross the hole but trips over its own feet and, again, makes no progress.

---

Lexa:
+1 Fire Resistance
Worn: Nothing
Hand 1: Arm Torch (+1 Seeing in darkness)
Abilities: Anti-Pink Ray
Injuries: Moderately wounded, Burned Hands (-1 Grabbing Things)

Oosani Fireblood:
Worn: Ebony Mail (+1 Defense, +1 Magic Defense, +1 Stealth)
Hand 1: Construction Hammer (+1 Attack, +1 Breaking Things)
Hand 2: Empty
Divine Blessing: Boethiah's Blessing (+1 Attack, +1 Fire Resistance, -1 Will)
Injuries: Ruptured Ears (-1 Hearing)
Mental Injuries: Severe Insanity (-3 Thinking)
Bounty: 100 gp
Quest: Kill 5 intelligent beings (0/5)

Sir Winthrop Eddleton the Younger:
+1 Defense, +1 Will, +2 Strength
Worn: Anti-Paladin Armor (+2 Defense, +1 Intimidation, -1 Morality, -1 Agility)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Wolf Head Staff (+1 Attack, +Extra Attack, +Rabies)

Allies:
Death Knight:
+1 Attack, +1 Dark Magic, +1 Intimidation, +2 Turn Resistance, -3 Morality, +1 Strength
Worn: Nothing
Hand 1: Clearly Evil Axe (+1 Attack, -1 Morality)
Hand 2: Empty
Injuries: Barely wounded

Selwyn:
-1 Talking, -1 French Things, +1 Senses, +1 Reflexes
Worn: Doggo Robes
Mouth: Empty
Abilities: Bi-Directional Telepathy
Quest: Start the Church of Doggo

Ezekiel:
Worn: Shoddy Riot Gear (+1 Defense against hippies, +1 The Man)
Hand 1: Bloody Mug (+1 Attack, +Weapon Speed, +Everfull Blood)
Hand 2: Empty
Mental Injuries: Mild Insanity (-1 Thinking)
Fears: Nyctophobia

Allies:
Hell Bird:
+1 Attack, +1 Talking, +1 Will
Worn: Aviator Armor (+1 Defense, +1 Flying)
Talons: Empty
Abilities: Pyrokinesis, Healing

Zeta:
+1 Wilderness Survival
Worn: Plain Clothes (+1 Agility, +Color Changing)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Gloobglorian Shield (+1 Defense, +1 Magic Defense)
Injuries: Slightly wounded
Abilities: Quick Hands

Vladimir Lenin:
+1 Seduction
Worn: Nothing
Mouth: Empty
Tattoos: Flaming Chicken (right flank)
Diseases: Second Trimester Pregnancy (-1 Emotional Stability, -1 Agility), STDS (+Itchiness)
Pregnancy Counter: 7 rounds

Haapsalu Argyrix:
+1 Historic Knowledge
Worn: Conglomerate Armor (+3 Defense, -2 Agility)
Hand 1: Empty
Hand 2: Empty

[DAFT Universe]

"What's in here?" Zeta asked himself. Seeming as weird things had been going on, he decided to try something... He decided to spontaneously evolve.

ACTION: Gain Night-vision

[Esternial]

Huzzah! Progress!

Do I spot another split in the distance?

More choices would have to be made, and it was confusing her. Ezekiel, if she could, just would've sat there and taken a nap. But adventure beckoned, the dirty little minx, and she wouldn't wait around forever. To make matters worse, the hellbird now began stalking her. With an apathetic shrug she entered the hallways and stopped at the door. Thus far, opening doors panned out pretty great. The scientists in Ezekiel spurred her on to gather empirical evidence to find a trend. Maybe she'd find a door behind that door? Maybe she would be opening doors until her sudden but inevitable demise?

Action: Open the door on my right.

[Pherdistan]

Lenin woke up in an alley. After the third guy joined in, she hadn't been able to recall much. Now, she was itchy between the legs, heavily pregnant, and had a bitchin’ chicken tattoo on her right flank. Okay, the last one wasn't bad, but the other two definitely were. Lenin was a broken mare.

She needed to do many things, but she felt too defeated to try. She couldn't even muster the strength to say "gavno"...

But wait, the hammer was gone! While in other situations that would be bad, she realized that that at least freed her mouth to speaking. She needed a morale boost, dammit! So she moved her tired mouth, and filled the alleyway with her voice.

Action: Sing