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by Whalestron » Tue Mar 21, 2017 6:21 am
by The Irish County of the Beare-Mor » Tue Mar 21, 2017 6:34 am
by The Last Abode of Pando » Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:09 pm
by Zjaum » Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:23 pm
by Talchyon » Thu Mar 23, 2017 6:45 am
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Talchyon » Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:11 am
News from the Orientvol. 87, no. 146, July 30ORIENT ENDANGERED BY WOMBAT FLUby Sheila Weston, beat reporter
The governor of Minnesota has declared Orient to be a state of emergency after the Wombat Flu epidemic has reached unimaginable heights. The National Guard has been sent in to help distribute medical supplies and keep Orient quarantined.
While the deadly flu is treatable, just resting it out doesn't seem to do the job as you might expect with a normal flu. The Mayo Clinic in Rochester has researched this flu strain, and has come up with an effective medicine to treat it. Those who take this medicine will live, even though it may give them intestinal issues. This medicine both treats active strains of the flu, and also can be used as a preventative measure from those who have not yet been exposed to it.
Mabel Johnsen, a local resident, had this to say. "So, you say that I'll live through this flu if I get it, and then I take the medicine from Mayo? But if I take it, I'll get a lot of diarrhea or something? Gross. Hope I have enough toilet paper."
Residents of Orient are urged to stay away from anyone sick. While it is impossible to avoid some contact with others, residents are warned to stay in their homes as much as they possibly can. If you see combat soldiers in camouflage and gas masks showing up at your house, let them in. They're here to help.Assistance Neededby Randall Gervious, beat reporter
With the National Guard coming out to Orient to help distribute medicines from the Mayo Clinic, there will be much rejoicing among the citizens of Orient. After so much personal tragedy in the last few weeks on account of the Wombat Flu, any bit of good news helps.
That said, assistance is needed in distributing the medicine. Lt. Quentin Arms of the National Guard said they would take any volunteers to help, although he could not promise that the National Guard would have enough gas masks to go around. "We're always short of needed supplies, thanks to budget cuts. We might have an extra mask or two, but unfortunately, that's all we can spare. Still, we need the help."
Will anyone step up to help the National Guard give the medicine that is needed, without the safety of a gas mask? If only we had some brave, foolhardy, and yet completely naive and clueless volunteers who were willing to help their fellow man!A Warehouse on Old Abandoned Warehouse Lane, 3 Weeks agoRENOVATIONS NEEDED ON OLD ABANDONED WAREHOUSE LANEby Everette White, beat reporter
After loud noises and weird lights were observed last Thursday night on Old Abandoned Warehouse Lane, calls were made. The Sherriff's office, being busy last night in helping the National Guard, had to wait for the following morning to check in. What they saw was an eyesore. There were two badly damaged buildings with even some rubble on the street. Also, anvils for some reason.
The city zoning board looked in to the situation, and determined that the owners of these two abandoned warehouses need to make substantial repairs, to bring them back into code. Contractor Randy Nielsen said, "These buildings are clearly in violation of something. Plus, they're hideous and they're dragging down the property value of the whole town." Private attorney, Noname McNonameson, agreed. "State law clearly says in Section 2738b.6 of Code III of the State Ordinance Laws, that anyone who won't clean up their property with damages to this extent will be fined an extra hundred dollars, not counting shipping or handling fees, or legal fees needed to contend this in court."
Owners of these warehouses? You have been informed.Ruins of an Old Abandoned Warehouse NowLOCAL ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS CHAPTER CANCELS THURSDAY MEETINGby Sheila Weston, beat reporter
Due to the warnings of the Wombat Flu, the local Alcoholics Anonymous chapter has taken heed. The chapter normally meets on Thursday nights at 7:00 p.m. in rm. 1 of the town Legion Hall. At the same time, next door another club meets, apparently a club interested in outlandish spandex fashions. But due to the severity of the sickness in Orient, the local A.A. chapter has announced that their next Thursday meeting is canceled.
Surprisingly, with the empty space in the Legion Hall, the local Cub Scout pack 62 has decided to chance it. They have opted to have their normal meeting at the vacated time, 7:00 p.m., Town Legion Hall, rm. 1. Scoutmaster Jerry said that the boys would be working on puddle jumpers.
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Talchyon » Fri Mar 24, 2017 11:50 am
So you want to stop the Infinites? And you want to get paid, as promised?
(Minus the dock in pay I had to give you because you didn't finish your last job).
If so, then just find the Infinites, and however you want to do it,
Lure them to come to Zeke Enterprises Tower. They'll know
Where it is. There will be a nice, devious trap awaiting!
HA HA HA HA
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by The Last Abode of Pando » Mon Mar 27, 2017 11:44 am
by Zjaum » Mon Mar 27, 2017 2:28 pm
Talchyon wrote:[size=200]She took a swig of her coffee before reading off of a notecard.
Her coffee fell over mysteriously. Sarah leapt back, her note cards becoming soaked in brown, then, miraculously, set aflame.
Coathangerman got up, and avoiding the dripping podium...
Then, he noticed a smeared-up, coffee stained, soaking wet note still on the podium.
Talchyon wrote:"Oh, bother. It's just the Senior Center next door..."
by Talchyon » Wed Mar 29, 2017 11:04 am
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by The Magical World of Asku » Thu Mar 30, 2017 5:42 pm
by The Irish County of the Beare-Mor » Fri Mar 31, 2017 1:24 pm
by Zjaum » Sat Apr 01, 2017 12:25 am
by Talchyon » Sun Apr 02, 2017 11:46 am
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by The Irish County of the Beare-Mor » Mon Apr 03, 2017 5:35 am
by Zjaum » Wed Apr 05, 2017 8:11 pm
by Talchyon » Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:54 am
[/spoiler]Zjaum wrote:Aubree "Princess Goldilocks" Lincoln
"Are you ok?"
Oh no, he noticed... Just play it off, you're okay, you just don't want to make a bad impression. "No, no, I'm fine!" She replied, trying desperately to uncross her legs and stop jumping. She had only mild success, but there wasn't much she could do in the face of such overwhelming pressure. "So, are there syringes in the boxes? I don't have that much training in this kind of stuff, and blood makes me faint."
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by The Last Abode of Pando » Sun Apr 09, 2017 2:05 pm
by The Irish County of the Beare-Mor » Sun Apr 09, 2017 2:43 pm
by Zjaum » Sun Apr 09, 2017 6:44 pm
The Last Abode of Pando wrote:Ed and Aesculapius
Ed took the instructions and then proceeded to read them aloud, to the rest of the Infinites. "Everyone needs one dose*. Do not read further. Why did you do that? Meh. *One dose consists of 32 separate shots."
Talchyon wrote:Those who take this medicine will live, even though it may give them intestinal issues. This medicine both treats active strains of the flu, and also can be used as a preventative measure from those who have not yet been exposed to it.
by Talchyon » Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:10 am
The Last Abode of Pando wrote:Jevon wheeled himself over to the large military guy, Lord, and asked him, "Yo. c'n I'h hav sum'uh dat der med'cull atenten? Mai legs'r awf."
The Last Abode of Pando wrote:Ed and Aesculapius
Ed took the instructions and then proceeded to read them aloud, to the rest of the Infinites. "Everyone needs one dose*. Do not read further. Why did you do that? Meh. *One dose consists of 32 separate shots."
Jevon wheeled himself over to the large military guy, Lord, and asked him, "Yo. c'n I'h hav sum'uh dat der med'cull atenten? Mai legs'r awf."
Aesculapius, still wanting a superhero name, was mostly sure that the plot needed to be moved along, though he wasn't sure how to cause that to happen."So, anybody want to play rock, paper, scissors?"
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Da Klan » Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:21 pm
by Whalestron » Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:28 am
by Zjaum » Tue Apr 18, 2017 9:02 pm
by Talchyon » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:33 pm
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
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