Stories of Aincrad; The Last Mile [OOC][OPEN]

[Tracian Empire]

Yes, yes. Darts and dual wielding rapiers. She's the only one around with that equipment

But you'll see more about her reason in the near future.

...I...

...I was right?


Wow.


Yeah, Noblemind's probably going to be a bit yandere after this little incident.

Yep, you were. I wasn't exactly expecting anyone to remember the details about the equipment of Julia, since well, the last time I mentioned the app was way back in one of the initial threads, and no one would have probably noticed it if not for me mentioning the existence of hints

But yes, it's her. And if no one would have noticed it, I would have somehow made her show her silver hair, I think.

[Charlia]

...I...

...I was right?


Wow.


Yeah, Noblemind's probably going to be a bit yandere after this little incident.

Yep, you were. I wasn't exactly expecting anyone to remember the details about the equipment of Julia, since well, the last time I mentioned the app was way back in one of the initial threads, and no one would have probably noticed it if not for me mentioning the existence of hints

But yes, it's her. And if no one would have noticed it, I would have somehow made her show her silver hair, I think.

I really just mentioned it because I thought it was improbable... LOL, that's great. XD

[Tracian Empire]

Nitom, you wouldn't be able to help Dremo though. At least not without beating a few good groups of enemy players. Because if your character was near Lios, and I missed that part, your character would also be pretty much blocked in that phalanx semicircle. And if not, he would still be in the cathedral, while Dremo and the others are outside, in the plaza.

[Nitom]

Ah ok, I got the locations mixed up. I will adjust my post accordingly.

[Tulkomanistan]

Wait...Julia is there? Great! Just when I was thinking about bringing my old character

[Tracian Empire]

Wait...Julia is there? Great! Just when I was thinking about bringing my old character

Yep, she is

[Tracian Empire]

Ah ok, I got the locations mixed up. I will adjust my post accordingly.

It's okay. I haven't been too specific in my post either.

[Charlia]

Although...

Wait. Are we saying that Julia was a paladin? And is the serial killer?



Because if so, my word, she is going to get a 'The Reason You Suck' Speech from Noblemind. She is definitely going to get one. And it will be savage.

[Tracian Empire]

Although...

Wait. Are we saying that Julia was a paladin? And is the serial killer?



Because if so, my word, she is going to get a 'The Reason You Suck' Speech from Noblemind. She is definitely going to get one. And it will be savage.

Who knows? We'll see..

[Charlia]

Although...

Wait. Are we saying that Julia was a paladin? And is the serial killer?



Because if so, my word, she is going to get a 'The Reason You Suck' Speech from Noblemind. She is definitely going to get one. And it will be savage.

Who knows? We'll see..

In other words, either I'm right or you're pulling a double bluff. Okay. I can work with that.


For some reason, I've started writing up an analysis of Noblemind's character. I have literally no reason to do this except that I can. So... I am. XD

[Tracian Empire]

Who knows? We'll see..

In other words, either I'm right or you're pulling a double bluff. Okay. I can work with that.


For some reason, I've started writing up an analysis of Noblemind's character. I have literally no reason to do this except that I can. So... I am. XD

An analysis?

I'm writing a long text in German, so don't expect any posts from me until in an hour or two.

[Charlia]

In other words, either I'm right or you're pulling a double bluff. Okay. I can work with that.


For some reason, I've started writing up an analysis of Noblemind's character. I have literally no reason to do this except that I can. So... I am. XD

An analysis?

I'm writing a long text in German, so don't expect any posts from me until in an hour or two.

Yeah. Why she is how she is, and such.


Okay. I shall keep myself occupied with character analysis and also Code Geass.

[Charlia]

Whew, finally finished this.

In order to properly understand Noblemind, we have to start where she did, which is to say, at the beginning of her life. Her mother was out of the picture as early as the day she was born, so she never really felt a sense of loss there. This, combined with a lack of mental or physical conditions and a loving father, allowed her to spend her early years happily, instilling an optimistic view into her. If she had been born into a more harsh environment, perhaps the later stages of her life wouldn't have been so psychologically crushing. However, that wasn't the case.

At the age of three, she lost her father. Normally, her youth would facilitate easier readjustment, but unfortunately for her, the next set of caregivers weren't as loving. Thus, she clung to the memories she had, unwilling to forget them. As she grew older, they became fuzzier and more unclear, but she still had more recollection of the first years of her life than most children. Still, everything was mostly normal, even though she became slightly more withdrawn due to the attitude of her foster parents as well as slight ostracizing by her peers--although she had one friend for a while, we'll get to him later--since she had some trouble with social interactions, trouble that became more pronounced as her life continued and she was pushed farther back into her shell. Even so, she still did her best to carry that optimistic outlook on life. This is where her psychological troubles began to start, as trying to stay optimistic despite feeling alone in the world led her to construct a bit of a fantasized view of her situation.

This led to a near-total breakdown when that fantasy world was crushed.

We're all aware of what happened shortly after her twelfth birthday. A new set of parents, and a new factor introduced into her existence, one that she had previously known nothing about--and one that took her an entire year to learn of. Reeling from the shattering of her innocence, she started questioning everything she had previously held as true. Growing up is difficult enough when it happens on its own, but for her to be forced into a type of maturity she wasn't ready for was psychologically devastating. Not having a grasp on what had happened, but knowing only that it had hurt, she clung to the last vestiges of innocence by assuming that it was punishment for something she had done--and thus, if she did better, it wouldn't happen again. (Interestingly, a similar viewpoint causes much victim-blaming--the need to believe that 'since I don't do X, Y won't happen to me', and feel as though you aren't completely helpless, like you have some control over what happens.)

Tragically enough, this assumption was the foundation of much of her suffering later in life.

Doing her best to be the perfect child was both physically and mentally exhausting. This was, of course, only worsened by the continued abuse she was put through, and as her efforts to stop it through improving herself continually failed, she began to break down more. As time continued, she began to become more and more paranoid and anxious about the most trivial of things, obsessively trying to make herself the best she could be so as to avoid being hurt again. She also experienced physical effects--near-constant nausea, sleeplessness, fits of uncontrollable crying, and more. Her thoughts became more and more jumbled as she tried harder and harder to make sense of the pain she was experiencing, until finally, shortly after she turned thirteen, she was taught exactly what was happening to her.

Everything became clear. Too clear. But this didn't make her feel any better--instead it made her feel much worse. The focus of her obsession changed--she no longer tried to be perfect, knowing that it wouldn't help her, but instead tried to make herself feel clean again, trying desperately but always failing. Her earlier belief that she had done something to deserve the abuse carried over, and she began to blame herself for her own suffering, believing herself at fault for being weak and unable to stop the pain. She drew further into herself, suffering more psychological effects, including panic attacks, severe depression and self-hatred, and overwhelming terror whenever someone so much as brushed against her. As she withdrew further, those around her became more cruel, mocking her for her self-imposed isolation and her constant anxiety. Desperate to find some way of controlling the pain, she even turned to harming herself, hoping that the choice she was making to feel pain would help her cope with the pain she couldn't control. Her mental state continued to spiral downward, but she wasn't yet the same girl that SAO players learned to fear.

Fast-forward to shortly after Sword Art Online began. This is when the Noblemind we're familiar with began to really appear. She still hated herself and was still afraid of being hurt again, and these two emotions ended up being channeled into severe aggression, an attempt to protect herself. Then that old friend from earlier resurfaced, and the two actually began to get along. Things looked bright again, and then, once her trust had been earned, she admitted the truth about herself.

He said he didn't care.

Shortly after, though, he disappeared without a trace. Not knowing why he had left her behind, she resorted to that old tactic that she had used so many times before--she blamed herself. Assuming that her secret had driven him away, she began to believe once again that no one could ever care about her after what she'd been through. Her disgust and hatred for herself grew, and she started falling back into a self-destructive lifestyle, lashing out against others without a single thought for her own health. After all, she reasoned, no one would care if she died, least of all herself. Falling farther into madness, she became more and more frightening.

Fast-forward again to after her encounter with a certain paladin. This time, things were even worse. Since the aim was to completely break her, the treatment she received was brutal and sadistic. Against her worst fear, she had been completely helpless, and this did indeed break her. Just... not in the way it was supposed to. She came close to the edge of insanity, and her self-hatred was at a level greater than it had ever been before. This is when she truly became the Noblemind that people feared. Asuna's later comment about how disgusting she was had terrible effect on her, since the other girl had no idea of what she had been through. And if someone found her disgusting without knowing--well, that just confirmed her feelings towards herself, driving her further into despair.

Now that we've gotten through the explanation of why she was so aggressively insane and why she ended up completely breaking down, let's talk about her relationship with Dremo, shall we?

It definitely took a while for her to learn to trust him--in fact, it took most of the game. The fact that someone was showing her any sort of care at all made her very suspicious, and even when she finally accepted that he did, in fact, want to help her, she still didn't think he actually could. And she didn't think he would, either, if he found out the truth. That's why she told him so easily after her suicide attempt--which, by the way, was her first time actually planning to kill herself, but nowhere near her first time considering it--because she thought that, since the only other people she'd told had reacted very poorly, then telling Dremo would show him just how pointless it was to try and help her. She thought it would drive him away. When it didn't... well, she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yet it never did. Instead, his resolve to help her grew, which confused her to no end. However, since it had been a long time since anyone had shown her affection at all, she accepted it.

It was when the Knights of the Blood Oath showed up, and he was actually willing to take them on to try and protect her even after she'd just been named as a potential serial killer, that she began to fully trust him, hence why she's willing to express her emotions around him without fear of being mocked or belittled. He's achieved a level of her trust that, quite literally, no one ever has before. At this point she'd do just about anything for him, up to and including dying to protect him. Since no one else shows her that sort of affection or even seems to care about her wellbeing at all, and she still puts very little value on her own life, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Thus, I would not advise trying to hurt Dremo. Otherwise, she will hurt you.

I really don't know what else to say here. *sigh* This was pretty hard work. I'm going to go watch Lelouch be a badass now.

[Tracian Empire]

Oh well, I only had time to post a reply to Noblemind's situation, since CC should also post for Mariana before I react to Vashiel, and Lios has to also do something before I respond to the new character.

And I don't have much to respond to the post of Tulk, though, considering that the reveal will be near, you could have your characters head to the plaza to see Julia.

[Charlia]

Oh well, I only had time to post a reply to Noblemind's situation, since CC should also post for Mariana before I react to Vashiel, and Lios has to also do something before I respond to the new character.

And I don't have much to respond to the post of Tulk, though, considering that the reveal will be near, you could have your characters head to the plaza to see Julia.

...Look up.

[Tracian Empire]

Whew, finally finished this.

In order to properly understand Noblemind, we have to start where she did, which is to say, at the beginning of her life. Her mother was out of the picture as early as the day she was born, so she never really felt a sense of loss there. This, combined with a lack of mental or physical conditions and a loving father, allowed her to spend her early years happily, instilling an optimistic view into her. If she had been born into a more harsh environment, perhaps the later stages of her life wouldn't have been so psychologically crushing. However, that wasn't the case.

At the age of three, she lost her father. Normally, her youth would facilitate easier readjustment, but unfortunately for her, the next set of caregivers weren't as loving. Thus, she clung to the memories she had, unwilling to forget them. As she grew older, they became fuzzier and more unclear, but she still had more recollection of the first years of her life than most children. Still, everything was mostly normal, even though she became slightly more withdrawn due to the attitude of her foster parents as well as slight ostracizing by her peers--although she had one friend for a while, we'll get to him later--since she had some trouble with social interactions, trouble that became more pronounced as her life continued and she was pushed farther back into her shell. Even so, she still did her best to carry that optimistic outlook on life. This is where her psychological troubles began to start, as trying to stay optimistic despite feeling alone in the world led her to construct a bit of a fantasized view of her situation.

This led to a near-total breakdown when that fantasy world was crushed.

We're all aware of what happened shortly after her twelfth birthday. A new set of parents, and a new factor introduced into her existence, one that she had previously known nothing about--and one that took her an entire year to learn of. Reeling from the shattering of her innocence, she started questioning everything she had previously held as true. Growing up is difficult enough when it happens on its own, but for her to be forced into a type of maturity she wasn't ready for was psychologically devastating. Not having a grasp on what had happened, but knowing only that it had hurt, she clung to the last vestiges of innocence by assuming that it was punishment for something she had done--and thus, if she did better, it wouldn't happen again.

Tragically enough, this assumption was the foundation of much of her suffering later in life.

Doing her best to be the perfect child was both physically and mentally exhausting. This was, of course, only worsened by the continued abuse she was put through, and as her efforts to stop it through improving herself continually failed, she began to break down more. As time continued, she began to become more and more paranoid and anxious about the most trivial of things, obsessively trying to make herself the best she could be so as to avoid being hurt again. She also experienced physical effects--near-constant nausea, sleeplessness, fits of uncontrollable crying, and more. Her thoughts became more and more jumbled as she tried harder and harder to make sense of the pain she was experiencing, until finally, shortly after she turned thirteen, she was taught exactly what was happening to her.

Everything became clear. Too clear. But this didn't make her feel any better--instead it made her feel much worse. The focus of her obsession changed--she no longer tried to be perfect, knowing that it wouldn't help her, but instead tried to make herself feel clean again, trying desperately but always failing. Her earlier belief that she had done something to deserve the abuse carried over, and she began to blame herself for her own suffering, believing herself at fault for being weak and unable to stop the pain. She drew further into herself, suffering more psychological effects, including panic attacks, severe depression and self-hatred, and overwhelming terror whenever someone so much as brushed against her. As she withdrew further, those around her became more cruel, mocking her for her self-imposed isolation and her constant anxiety. Desperate to find some way of controlling the pain, she even turned to harming herself, hoping that the choice she was making to feel pain would help her cope with the pain she couldn't control. Her mental state continued to spiral downward, but she wasn't yet the same girl that SAO players learned to fear.

Fast-forward to shortly after Sword Art Online began. This is when the Noblemind we're familiar with began to really appear. She still hated herself and was still afraid of being hurt again, and these two emotions ended up being channeled into severe aggression, an attempt to protect herself. Then that old friend from earlier resurfaced, and the two actually began to get along. Things looked bright again, and then, once her trust had been earned, she admitted the truth about herself.

He said he didn't care.

Shortly after, though, he disappeared without a trace. Not knowing why he had left her behind, she resorted to that old tactic that she had used so many times before--she blamed herself. Assuming that her secret had driven him away, she began to believe once again that no one could ever care about her after what she'd been through. Her disgust and hatred for herself grew, and she started falling back into a self-destructive lifestyle, lashing out against others without a single thought for her own health. After all, she reasoned, no one would care if she died, least of all herself. Falling farther into madness, she became more and more frightening.

Fast-forward again to after her encounter with a certain paladin. This time, things were even worse. Since the aim was to completely break her, the treatment she received was brutal and sadistic. Against her worst fear, she had been completely helpless, and this did indeed break her. Just... not in the way it was supposed to. She came close to the edge of insanity, and her self-hatred was at a level greater than it had ever been before. This is when she truly became the Noblemind that people feared. Asuna's later comment about how disgusting she was had terrible effect on her, since the other girl had no idea of what she had been through. And if someone found her disgusting without knowing--well, that just confirmed her feelings towards herself, driving her further into despair.

Now that we've gotten through the explanation of why she was so aggressively insane and why she ended up completely breaking down, let's talk about her relationship with Dremo, shall we?

It definitely took a while for her to learn to trust him--in fact, it took most of the game. The fact that someone was showing her any sort of care at all made her very suspicious, and even when she finally accepted that he did, in fact, want to help her, she still didn't think he actually could. And she didn't think he would, either, if he found out the truth. That's why she told him so easily after her suicide attempt--which, by the way, was her first time actually planning to kill herself, but nowhere near her first time considering it--because she thought that, since the only other people she'd told had reacted very poorly, then telling Dremo would show him just how pointless it was to try and help her. She thought it would drive him away. When it didn't... well, she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yet it never did. Instead, his resolve to help her grew, which confused her to no end. However, since it had been a long time since anyone had shown her affection at all, she accepted it.

It was when the Knights of the Blood Oath showed up, and he was actually willing to take them on to try and protect her even after she'd just been named as a potential serial killer, that she began to fully trust him, hence why she's willing to express her emotions around him without fear of being mocked or belittled. He's achieved a level of her trust that, quite literally, no one ever has before. At this point she'd do just about anything for him, up to and including dying to protect him. Since no one else shows her that sort of affection or even seems to care about her wellbeing at all, and she still puts very little value on her own life, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Thus, I would not advise trying to hurt Dremo. Otherwise, she will hurt you.

I really don't know what else to say here. *sigh* This was pretty hard work. I'm going to go watch Lelouch be a badass now.

Amazing.

It does make me feel so bad for Noblemind though

[Tulkomanistan]

Oh well, I only had time to post a reply to Noblemind's situation, since CC should also post for Mariana before I react to Vashiel, and Lios has to also do something before I respond to the new character.

And I don't have much to respond to the post of Tulk, though, considering that the reveal will be near, you could have your characters head to the plaza to see Julia.

Should add more stuff to my post then.

Whew, finally finished this.

In order to properly understand Noblemind, we have to start where she did, which is to say, at the beginning of her life. Her mother was out of the picture as early as the day she was born, so she never really felt a sense of loss there. This, combined with a lack of mental or physical conditions and a loving father, allowed her to spend her early years happily, instilling an optimistic view into her. If she had been born into a more harsh environment, perhaps the later stages of her life wouldn't have been so psychologically crushing. However, that wasn't the case.

At the age of three, she lost her father. Normally, her youth would facilitate easier readjustment, but unfortunately for her, the next set of caregivers weren't as loving. Thus, she clung to the memories she had, unwilling to forget them. As she grew older, they became fuzzier and more unclear, but she still had more recollection of the first years of her life than most children. Still, everything was mostly normal, even though she became slightly more withdrawn due to the attitude of her foster parents as well as slight ostracizing by her peers--although she had one friend for a while, we'll get to him later--since she had some trouble with social interactions, trouble that became more pronounced as her life continued and she was pushed farther back into her shell. Even so, she still did her best to carry that optimistic outlook on life. This is where her psychological troubles began to start, as trying to stay optimistic despite feeling alone in the world led her to construct a bit of a fantasized view of her situation.

This led to a near-total breakdown when that fantasy world was crushed.

We're all aware of what happened shortly after her twelfth birthday. A new set of parents, and a new factor introduced into her existence, one that she had previously known nothing about--and one that took her an entire year to learn of. Reeling from the shattering of her innocence, she started questioning everything she had previously held as true. Growing up is difficult enough when it happens on its own, but for her to be forced into a type of maturity she wasn't ready for was psychologically devastating. Not having a grasp on what had happened, but knowing only that it had hurt, she clung to the last vestiges of innocence by assuming that it was punishment for something she had done--and thus, if she did better, it wouldn't happen again.

Tragically enough, this assumption was the foundation of much of her suffering later in life.

Doing her best to be the perfect child was both physically and mentally exhausting. This was, of course, only worsened by the continued abuse she was put through, and as her efforts to stop it through improving herself continually failed, she began to break down more. As time continued, she began to become more and more paranoid and anxious about the most trivial of things, obsessively trying to make herself the best she could be so as to avoid being hurt again. She also experienced physical effects--near-constant nausea, sleeplessness, fits of uncontrollable crying, and more. Her thoughts became more and more jumbled as she tried harder and harder to make sense of the pain she was experiencing, until finally, shortly after she turned thirteen, she was taught exactly what was happening to her.

Everything became clear. Too clear. But this didn't make her feel any better--instead it made her feel much worse. The focus of her obsession changed--she no longer tried to be perfect, knowing that it wouldn't help her, but instead tried to make herself feel clean again, trying desperately but always failing. Her earlier belief that she had done something to deserve the abuse carried over, and she began to blame herself for her own suffering, believing herself at fault for being weak and unable to stop the pain. She drew further into herself, suffering more psychological effects, including panic attacks, severe depression and self-hatred, and overwhelming terror whenever someone so much as brushed against her. As she withdrew further, those around her became more cruel, mocking her for her self-imposed isolation and her constant anxiety. Desperate to find some way of controlling the pain, she even turned to harming herself, hoping that the choice she was making to feel pain would help her cope with the pain she couldn't control. Her mental state continued to spiral downward, but she wasn't yet the same girl that SAO players learned to fear.

Fast-forward to shortly after Sword Art Online began. This is when the Noblemind we're familiar with began to really appear. She still hated herself and was still afraid of being hurt again, and these two emotions ended up being channeled into severe aggression, an attempt to protect herself. Then that old friend from earlier resurfaced, and the two actually began to get along. Things looked bright again, and then, once her trust had been earned, she admitted the truth about herself.

He said he didn't care.

Shortly after, though, he disappeared without a trace. Not knowing why he had left her behind, she resorted to that old tactic that she had used so many times before--she blamed herself. Assuming that her secret had driven him away, she began to believe once again that no one could ever care about her after what she'd been through. Her disgust and hatred for herself grew, and she started falling back into a self-destructive lifestyle, lashing out against others without a single thought for her own health. After all, she reasoned, no one would care if she died, least of all herself. Falling farther into madness, she became more and more frightening.

Fast-forward again to after her encounter with a certain paladin. This time, things were even worse. Since the aim was to completely break her, the treatment she received was brutal and sadistic. Against her worst fear, she had been completely helpless, and this did indeed break her. Just... not in the way it was supposed to. She came close to the edge of insanity, and her self-hatred was at a level greater than it had ever been before. This is when she truly became the Noblemind that people feared. Asuna's later comment about how disgusting she was had terrible effect on her, since the other girl had no idea of what she had been through. And if someone found her disgusting without knowing--well, that just confirmed her feelings towards herself, driving her further into despair.

Now that we've gotten through the explanation of why she was so aggressively insane and why she ended up completely breaking down, let's talk about her relationship with Dremo, shall we?

It definitely took a while for her to learn to trust him--in fact, it took most of the game. The fact that someone was showing her any sort of care at all made her very suspicious, and even when she finally accepted that he did, in fact, want to help her, she still didn't think he actually could. And she didn't think he would, either, if he found out the truth. That's why she told him so easily after her suicide attempt--which, by the way, was her first time actually planning to kill herself, but nowhere near her first time considering it--because she thought that, since the only other people she'd told had reacted very poorly, then telling Dremo would show him just how pointless it was to try and help her. She thought it would drive him away. When it didn't... well, she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yet it never did. Instead, his resolve to help her grew, which confused her to no end. However, since it had been a long time since anyone had shown her affection at all, she accepted it.

It was when the Knights of the Blood Oath showed up, and he was actually willing to take them on to try and protect her even after she'd just been named as a potential serial killer, that she began to fully trust him, hence why she's willing to express her emotions around him without fear of being mocked or belittled. He's achieved a level of her trust that, quite literally, no one ever has before. At this point she'd do just about anything for him, up to and including dying to protect him. Since no one else shows her that sort of affection or even seems to care about her wellbeing at all, and she still puts very little value on her own life, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Thus, I would not advise trying to hurt Dremo. Otherwise, she will hurt you.

I really don't know what else to say here. *sigh* This was pretty hard work. I'm going to go watch Lelouch be a badass now.

A good, depressing story. The one I was searching for before going to sleep but seriously it's really well written

[Tracian Empire]

Oh well, I only had time to post a reply to Noblemind's situation, since CC should also post for Mariana before I react to Vashiel, and Lios has to also do something before I respond to the new character.

And I don't have much to respond to the post of Tulk, though, considering that the reveal will be near, you could have your characters head to the plaza to see Julia.

...Look up.

I did. An amazing analysis you've written there.

I really like the complexity of Noblemind. But her past does make me feel so bad for her.

[Charlia]

Whew, finally finished this.

In order to properly understand Noblemind, we have to start where she did, which is to say, at the beginning of her life. Her mother was out of the picture as early as the day she was born, so she never really felt a sense of loss there. This, combined with a lack of mental or physical conditions and a loving father, allowed her to spend her early years happily, instilling an optimistic view into her. If she had been born into a more harsh environment, perhaps the later stages of her life wouldn't have been so psychologically crushing. However, that wasn't the case.

At the age of three, she lost her father. Normally, her youth would facilitate easier readjustment, but unfortunately for her, the next set of caregivers weren't as loving. Thus, she clung to the memories she had, unwilling to forget them. As she grew older, they became fuzzier and more unclear, but she still had more recollection of the first years of her life than most children. Still, everything was mostly normal, even though she became slightly more withdrawn due to the attitude of her foster parents as well as slight ostracizing by her peers--although she had one friend for a while, we'll get to him later--since she had some trouble with social interactions, trouble that became more pronounced as her life continued and she was pushed farther back into her shell. Even so, she still did her best to carry that optimistic outlook on life. This is where her psychological troubles began to start, as trying to stay optimistic despite feeling alone in the world led her to construct a bit of a fantasized view of her situation.

This led to a near-total breakdown when that fantasy world was crushed.

We're all aware of what happened shortly after her twelfth birthday. A new set of parents, and a new factor introduced into her existence, one that she had previously known nothing about--and one that took her an entire year to learn of. Reeling from the shattering of her innocence, she started questioning everything she had previously held as true. Growing up is difficult enough when it happens on its own, but for her to be forced into a type of maturity she wasn't ready for was psychologically devastating. Not having a grasp on what had happened, but knowing only that it had hurt, she clung to the last vestiges of innocence by assuming that it was punishment for something she had done--and thus, if she did better, it wouldn't happen again.

Tragically enough, this assumption was the foundation of much of her suffering later in life.

Doing her best to be the perfect child was both physically and mentally exhausting. This was, of course, only worsened by the continued abuse she was put through, and as her efforts to stop it through improving herself continually failed, she began to break down more. As time continued, she began to become more and more paranoid and anxious about the most trivial of things, obsessively trying to make herself the best she could be so as to avoid being hurt again. She also experienced physical effects--near-constant nausea, sleeplessness, fits of uncontrollable crying, and more. Her thoughts became more and more jumbled as she tried harder and harder to make sense of the pain she was experiencing, until finally, shortly after she turned thirteen, she was taught exactly what was happening to her.

Everything became clear. Too clear. But this didn't make her feel any better--instead it made her feel much worse. The focus of her obsession changed--she no longer tried to be perfect, knowing that it wouldn't help her, but instead tried to make herself feel clean again, trying desperately but always failing. Her earlier belief that she had done something to deserve the abuse carried over, and she began to blame herself for her own suffering, believing herself at fault for being weak and unable to stop the pain. She drew further into herself, suffering more psychological effects, including panic attacks, severe depression and self-hatred, and overwhelming terror whenever someone so much as brushed against her. As she withdrew further, those around her became more cruel, mocking her for her self-imposed isolation and her constant anxiety. Desperate to find some way of controlling the pain, she even turned to harming herself, hoping that the choice she was making to feel pain would help her cope with the pain she couldn't control. Her mental state continued to spiral downward, but she wasn't yet the same girl that SAO players learned to fear.

Fast-forward to shortly after Sword Art Online began. This is when the Noblemind we're familiar with began to really appear. She still hated herself and was still afraid of being hurt again, and these two emotions ended up being channeled into severe aggression, an attempt to protect herself. Then that old friend from earlier resurfaced, and the two actually began to get along. Things looked bright again, and then, once her trust had been earned, she admitted the truth about herself.

He said he didn't care.

Shortly after, though, he disappeared without a trace. Not knowing why he had left her behind, she resorted to that old tactic that she had used so many times before--she blamed herself. Assuming that her secret had driven him away, she began to believe once again that no one could ever care about her after what she'd been through. Her disgust and hatred for herself grew, and she started falling back into a self-destructive lifestyle, lashing out against others without a single thought for her own health. After all, she reasoned, no one would care if she died, least of all herself. Falling farther into madness, she became more and more frightening.

Fast-forward again to after her encounter with a certain paladin. This time, things were even worse. Since the aim was to completely break her, the treatment she received was brutal and sadistic. Against her worst fear, she had been completely helpless, and this did indeed break her. Just... not in the way it was supposed to. She came close to the edge of insanity, and her self-hatred was at a level greater than it had ever been before. This is when she truly became the Noblemind that people feared. Asuna's later comment about how disgusting she was had terrible effect on her, since the other girl had no idea of what she had been through. And if someone found her disgusting without knowing--well, that just confirmed her feelings towards herself, driving her further into despair.

Now that we've gotten through the explanation of why she was so aggressively insane and why she ended up completely breaking down, let's talk about her relationship with Dremo, shall we?

It definitely took a while for her to learn to trust him--in fact, it took most of the game. The fact that someone was showing her any sort of care at all made her very suspicious, and even when she finally accepted that he did, in fact, want to help her, she still didn't think he actually could. And she didn't think he would, either, if he found out the truth. That's why she told him so easily after her suicide attempt--which, by the way, was her first time actually planning to kill herself, but nowhere near her first time considering it--because she thought that, since the only other people she'd told had reacted very poorly, then telling Dremo would show him just how pointless it was to try and help her. She thought it would drive him away. When it didn't... well, she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yet it never did. Instead, his resolve to help her grew, which confused her to no end. However, since it had been a long time since anyone had shown her affection at all, she accepted it.

It was when the Knights of the Blood Oath showed up, and he was actually willing to take them on to try and protect her even after she'd just been named as a potential serial killer, that she began to fully trust him, hence why she's willing to express her emotions around him without fear of being mocked or belittled. He's achieved a level of her trust that, quite literally, no one ever has before. At this point she'd do just about anything for him, up to and including dying to protect him. Since no one else shows her that sort of affection or even seems to care about her wellbeing at all, and she still puts very little value on her own life, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Thus, I would not advise trying to hurt Dremo. Otherwise, she will hurt you.

I really don't know what else to say here. *sigh* This was pretty hard work. I'm going to go watch Lelouch be a badass now.

Amazing.

It does make me feel so bad for Noblemind though

And this is why it is a good thing that Dremo hugged her.

And that she didn't kill him, LOL.

...Look up.

I did. An amazing analysis you've written there.

I really like the complexity of Noblemind. But her past does make me feel so bad for her.

No, I mean that there's a monster attached to your ceiling. And it thinks your head looks tasty.

Oh well, I only had time to post a reply to Noblemind's situation, since CC should also post for Mariana before I react to Vashiel, and Lios has to also do something before I respond to the new character.

And I don't have much to respond to the post of Tulk, though, considering that the reveal will be near, you could have your characters head to the plaza to see Julia.

Should add more stuff to my post then.

Whew, finally finished this.

In order to properly understand Noblemind, we have to start where she did, which is to say, at the beginning of her life. Her mother was out of the picture as early as the day she was born, so she never really felt a sense of loss there. This, combined with a lack of mental or physical conditions and a loving father, allowed her to spend her early years happily, instilling an optimistic view into her. If she had been born into a more harsh environment, perhaps the later stages of her life wouldn't have been so psychologically crushing. However, that wasn't the case.

At the age of three, she lost her father. Normally, her youth would facilitate easier readjustment, but unfortunately for her, the next set of caregivers weren't as loving. Thus, she clung to the memories she had, unwilling to forget them. As she grew older, they became fuzzier and more unclear, but she still had more recollection of the first years of her life than most children. Still, everything was mostly normal, even though she became slightly more withdrawn due to the attitude of her foster parents as well as slight ostracizing by her peers--although she had one friend for a while, we'll get to him later--since she had some trouble with social interactions, trouble that became more pronounced as her life continued and she was pushed farther back into her shell. Even so, she still did her best to carry that optimistic outlook on life. This is where her psychological troubles began to start, as trying to stay optimistic despite feeling alone in the world led her to construct a bit of a fantasized view of her situation.

This led to a near-total breakdown when that fantasy world was crushed.

We're all aware of what happened shortly after her twelfth birthday. A new set of parents, and a new factor introduced into her existence, one that she had previously known nothing about--and one that took her an entire year to learn of. Reeling from the shattering of her innocence, she started questioning everything she had previously held as true. Growing up is difficult enough when it happens on its own, but for her to be forced into a type of maturity she wasn't ready for was psychologically devastating. Not having a grasp on what had happened, but knowing only that it had hurt, she clung to the last vestiges of innocence by assuming that it was punishment for something she had done--and thus, if she did better, it wouldn't happen again.

Tragically enough, this assumption was the foundation of much of her suffering later in life.

Doing her best to be the perfect child was both physically and mentally exhausting. This was, of course, only worsened by the continued abuse she was put through, and as her efforts to stop it through improving herself continually failed, she began to break down more. As time continued, she began to become more and more paranoid and anxious about the most trivial of things, obsessively trying to make herself the best she could be so as to avoid being hurt again. She also experienced physical effects--near-constant nausea, sleeplessness, fits of uncontrollable crying, and more. Her thoughts became more and more jumbled as she tried harder and harder to make sense of the pain she was experiencing, until finally, shortly after she turned thirteen, she was taught exactly what was happening to her.

Everything became clear. Too clear. But this didn't make her feel any better--instead it made her feel much worse. The focus of her obsession changed--she no longer tried to be perfect, knowing that it wouldn't help her, but instead tried to make herself feel clean again, trying desperately but always failing. Her earlier belief that she had done something to deserve the abuse carried over, and she began to blame herself for her own suffering, believing herself at fault for being weak and unable to stop the pain. She drew further into herself, suffering more psychological effects, including panic attacks, severe depression and self-hatred, and overwhelming terror whenever someone so much as brushed against her. As she withdrew further, those around her became more cruel, mocking her for her self-imposed isolation and her constant anxiety. Desperate to find some way of controlling the pain, she even turned to harming herself, hoping that the choice she was making to feel pain would help her cope with the pain she couldn't control. Her mental state continued to spiral downward, but she wasn't yet the same girl that SAO players learned to fear.

Fast-forward to shortly after Sword Art Online began. This is when the Noblemind we're familiar with began to really appear. She still hated herself and was still afraid of being hurt again, and these two emotions ended up being channeled into severe aggression, an attempt to protect herself. Then that old friend from earlier resurfaced, and the two actually began to get along. Things looked bright again, and then, once her trust had been earned, she admitted the truth about herself.

He said he didn't care.

Shortly after, though, he disappeared without a trace. Not knowing why he had left her behind, she resorted to that old tactic that she had used so many times before--she blamed herself. Assuming that her secret had driven him away, she began to believe once again that no one could ever care about her after what she'd been through. Her disgust and hatred for herself grew, and she started falling back into a self-destructive lifestyle, lashing out against others without a single thought for her own health. After all, she reasoned, no one would care if she died, least of all herself. Falling farther into madness, she became more and more frightening.

Fast-forward again to after her encounter with a certain paladin. This time, things were even worse. Since the aim was to completely break her, the treatment she received was brutal and sadistic. Against her worst fear, she had been completely helpless, and this did indeed break her. Just... not in the way it was supposed to. She came close to the edge of insanity, and her self-hatred was at a level greater than it had ever been before. This is when she truly became the Noblemind that people feared. Asuna's later comment about how disgusting she was had terrible effect on her, since the other girl had no idea of what she had been through. And if someone found her disgusting without knowing--well, that just confirmed her feelings towards herself, driving her further into despair.

Now that we've gotten through the explanation of why she was so aggressively insane and why she ended up completely breaking down, let's talk about her relationship with Dremo, shall we?

It definitely took a while for her to learn to trust him--in fact, it took most of the game. The fact that someone was showing her any sort of care at all made her very suspicious, and even when she finally accepted that he did, in fact, want to help her, she still didn't think he actually could. And she didn't think he would, either, if he found out the truth. That's why she told him so easily after her suicide attempt--which, by the way, was her first time actually planning to kill herself, but nowhere near her first time considering it--because she thought that, since the only other people she'd told had reacted very poorly, then telling Dremo would show him just how pointless it was to try and help her. She thought it would drive him away. When it didn't... well, she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yet it never did. Instead, his resolve to help her grew, which confused her to no end. However, since it had been a long time since anyone had shown her affection at all, she accepted it.

It was when the Knights of the Blood Oath showed up, and he was actually willing to take them on to try and protect her even after she'd just been named as a potential serial killer, that she began to fully trust him, hence why she's willing to express her emotions around him without fear of being mocked or belittled. He's achieved a level of her trust that, quite literally, no one ever has before. At this point she'd do just about anything for him, up to and including dying to protect him. Since no one else shows her that sort of affection or even seems to care about her wellbeing at all, and she still puts very little value on her own life, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Thus, I would not advise trying to hurt Dremo. Otherwise, she will hurt you.

I really don't know what else to say here. *sigh* This was pretty hard work. I'm going to go watch Lelouch be a badass now.

A good, depressing story. The one I was searching for before going to sleep but seriously it's really well written

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BE DEPRESSED MORTAL SCUM


Seriously, though, thanks! It was definitely a good little time-waster. XD

[Tracian Empire]

Amazing.

It does make me feel so bad for Noblemind though

And this is why it is a good thing that Dremo hugged her.

And that she didn't kill him, LOL.

I did. An amazing analysis you've written there.

I really like the complexity of Noblemind. But her past does make me feel so bad for her.

No, I mean that there's a monster attached to your ceiling. And it thinks your head looks tasty.

Should add more stuff to my post then.



A good, depressing story. The one I was searching for before going to sleep but seriously it's really well written

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BE DEPRESSED MORTAL SCUM


Seriously, though, thanks! It was definitely a good little time-waster. XD

True

I'm a vampire. I'm the one who stands upside down on the ceilings like bats, hunting people

[Tracian Empire]

And well, good night

[Charlia]

And well, good night

Good night!

[Tulkomanistan]

And well, good night

Goedenacht!

[Tulkomanistan]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BE DEPRESSED MORTAL SCUM


Seriously, though, thanks! It was definitely a good little time-waster. XD

Yeah I noticed

Also, that's why I read it before sleeping. I will feel depressed but a good night's sleep will just me forget all of it.

[Charlia]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BE DEPRESSED MORTAL SCUM


Seriously, though, thanks! It was definitely a good little time-waster. XD

Yeah I noticed

Also, that's why I read it before sleeping. I will feel depressed but a good night's sleep will just me forget all of it.

Unless it continues to haunt you in your nightmares!