Washington (US Political RP; 2016 ; IC ; OPEN!)

[Democratic Peoples republic of Kelvinsi]

"But you won't give more funds to recruitment."

"I am sorry what? I do not think I have ever said that. I would prefer that the military be treated as another profession in college, it currently has been treated with some stigma. We need to start getting more college students to sign up to fill the brain shortage in the military. To do so I would expand the military's scholarship fund."

[Tallahassee News Station]

"If all the waste you are cutting is for the VA, and you aren't hiking spending what good program is going to get cut for that?"

[Democratic Peoples republic of Kelvinsi]

"If all the waste you are cutting is for the VA, and you aren't hiking spending what good program is going to get cut for that?"

"We are gonna stop running A-10, we are gonna start phasing them out along with our B-52s, those two planes are really old and it costs too much to keep them in the air."

[Tallahassee News Station]

"Who's going to give us our close air support?"

[The Galactic Triumvirate]

(Image)
New York City, New York

The deep chortle of the V8 engine echoed through the parking lot, as Theresa Pearson guided her BMW 7 Series through the building, eyes peeled for a spot. She had driven across Manhattan, in Rush Hour, for this meeting, and was not going to be late. Pulling gracefuly between two SUV's, Theresa clicked her fob, and a loud beep rang clear, accompanied by the flash of red lights. She turned, walking elegantly towards the far door, heels rapping to her steps. Removing her BlackBerry from her purse, Theresa checked the time. 3:27 PM.

Lets hope this elevator is fast, Theresa shrugged, pressing the up button. The doors swung open almost instantly, and she marched in, typing vigorously on her phone. Her staff back at campaign HQ had been working for weeks, with door knockers, and other staffers doing double duty to ensure that Theresa won the primary. She faced hardly a credible candidate for what was, after all, her old Senate seat, but Theresa had decided long ago to never take anything for granted. But even she could not deny, with a powerful campaign infrastructure, national name recognition, and a deep war chest, she was on track to win. This meeting could only help her cause.

Ascending the large tower in downtown Manhattan could be construed as humiliating. After all, Theresa was a former Cabinet member, Senator, Solicitor General, and even served a term as State Attorney General, but yet here she was climbing this building, to pay homage to the other incumbent Senator, the young Alicia Florrick. She had not minded, she knew how these things worked, the ceremony and imagery involved. Her fiance decidedly did not. He had been quite aghast at the idea of Theresa going to Florrick's office rather than the Senator coming to the Pearson-Jones Law Firm offices on Fifth Avenue, and had urged her to refrain from going, lest the visit be construed as weakness. Theresa had simply shaken her head, and once more tried to explain the reasons behind her visit.

Before long the elevator doors slid open, as Theresa looked down one more time at her phone.
3:30, on the nose, she smiled, strutting into the Senator's constituency office.
She walked slowly up to the Secretary.

"Excuse me," she said with a smile. "Theresa Pearson, here to see Senator Florrick."

"Oh, I know who you are," the old woman said with a grin. "Please, take a seat."

Theresa nodded her thanks, and took a seat in the waiting area, legs folded gracefully. She clasped her hands on her knee and awaited the Senator.

Alicia's office was a sprawling mess, Advisers and associates huddled around her computer feeding her information to respond to each constituents email. Many wondered why she spent so much of her time talking to constituents, but the real reason was that she truly cared about what the people thought. After finishing up the last email Alicia's receptionist popped her head around the door.

'Senator, Ms Pearson is here to see you now'.

''Show her into the conference room, i'll be through in just a minute'' Said Alicia.

The Senator was quite surprised when she was told that Ms Pearson wanted to meet with her. In fact she wondered why someone with such a national presence and such an impressive resume felt the need to meet with a first term Senator who's main appeal was only to the Liberal base of the party. But Alicia admired this about her, that she was willing to meet with someone who many thought should be going to meet Ms Pearson instead.

Never the less, the Senator was optimistic about the meeting, exited about cooperating with the Lawyer for the good of the State.
Walking into the Conference room, she smiled extended her hand and said:

''Sorry about the wait, I'm Senator Florrick but please, call me Alicia''.

[The Galactic Triumvirate]

[Meelducan]

[Democratic Peoples republic of Kelvinsi]

"Who's going to give us our close air support?"

"We need an interim replacement I propose the Super Tucano, while the A-10 replacement is being developed."

[The Galactic Triumvirate]

[Tallahassee News Station]

Chandler shook his head. "All right, Danders, I've burned enough of your time. I'll give you one last question and get out. The founding of America, the Revolution, the writing of the Constitution, what do you think it was?"

[Democratic Peoples republic of Kelvinsi]

Chandler shook his head. "All right, Danders, I've burned enough of your time. I'll give you one last question and get out. The founding of America, the Revolution, the writing of the Constitution, what do you think it was?"

"The average politician would have answered that question in cliches and platitudes, but neither you or I are the average politician. My view was that the founding of America was merely men trying to get out of tyranny of the British king. They were not necessarily braver nor smarter than the other generations, but what they had was the will and reason to fight, they did just that, expelling the superior British army. The constitution was made a safelock to make sure that our sons and daughthers would never have to be put in the same situation as they did, they hoped that their descendants would not have to fight to dethrone a tyrant, and the constitution was the guardian against that.

Senator Chandler I appreciate you taking the time to visit me today, and I understand you are very busy with your schedule, and it is time for us to part company."

[Tallahassee News Station]

Chandler just nodded, standing up and pulling on his jacket to leave.

[The Great Devourer of All]

Johnathan Taylor
Chicago

After a two-hour period in which Johnathan was shackled to a bench in a Chicago prison cell so that the police could relay orders, a black bag was put over his face and he was dragged out into the parking lot. As two muscled arms shoved him into a Ford police truck, Johnathan heard two more people sit down on either side of them. They were most likely heavily-armed guards. The car then revved up and pulled out into the street, with two more at its side judging by the number of engines Johnathan could hear.

Andrew Sloan

Andrew Sloan
@AndrewSloan

America should control the entire continent. I will not rest until I see the Stars and Stripes flying from the CN Tower.

#TheyWillKneel

Johnathan Taylor
Rural Indiana

The police truck had driven for nearly three hours in total silence when Johnathan felt a strange buzzing in his right ear. After a moment of an indecipherable electronic murmuring, the sounds solidified into words.

"Stay silent." Johnathan obeyed.

"If you talk before I allow you to, you will die." A bead of sweat began to form on Johnathan's brow.

"I paid someone to plant this two-way listening device in your hood before they put it on you. I will direct you to safety. The others in the car cannot hear you; the device is too quiet and too close to your ear, and the noise of the highway should overpower any wayward sound waves." Johnathan's heartbeat increased. Who was this person? Were they setting him up so they could claim to have justification for shooting him?

"The men in your car are most definitely not on your side. You will have to kill them when I tell you to. The police are planning to take you to a maximum-security prison to detain you until your trial. However, once the FBI finds out that you are not an official citizen, the CIA will in all likelihood take you directly to Guantanamo Bay and use torture to find out if you are connected to any terrorist organizations. Once they have gotten all that is useful from you- say, the number of soldiers stationed at the Al Nursa base you attacked- they will probably extradite you to the Russian KGB, who will treat your case like that of a foreign agent and torture you to death. If you want to avoid this fate, you will listen to me." Holy hell, thought Johnathan. Whoever this is knows everything about me.

"You should probably get rid of the officers in the car now." Johnathan inhaled sharply. He was blind, shackled on both his legs and his feet, and flanked by alert, hostile officers carrying high-powered arms. He would have to forget strategy and let his body take over. After a brief pause, he sprang into action, using both of his arms in unison to shove one elbow into the groin of one of the officers. Once he knew where the groin was, he got a rough estimate of where the head would be- taking into account a slight crouch, given the groan of pain escaping his victim's lips, and swung his lgs over, bringing both down on the nape of his neck as he reverse-body slammed the stunned officer on his other side. He knew he had to act quickly, so he found one of the officer's heads and snapped hard, satisfied by the multiple cracks he heard. He then reached over and found the other officer's neck, using the chains on his handcuffs like a garrote wire. A moment passed, and the chain snapped. He then reached for his hood, removed it, and adjusted his fighting style to the light of day. A hard kick from one leg pushed the officer's face into the window, which shattered into a thousand pieces. Blood sprayed from the places where shards of glass had torn through the man's jugular. In a split second, Johnathan inspected the two weapons the dead officers had dropped. They were both M16 rifles, entirely identical. This and the tan-colored fatigues of the officers led him to believe he had just killed two Military Police officers. By the time he had thought all of this, the officer in the passenger seat had already reached back and opened up the sliding panel in the tight metal cage separating the two halves of the truck. As if in slow motion, Johnathan used a technique he had learned in Iraq to simultaneously disarm the man and break his wrist. The moment he had the man's pistol, he flipped it around and shot him twice in the chest. Discarding the gun, he reached both of his arms through the cage and began strangling the driver, who until then had been yelling frantically into his radio. Johnathan's expectations were fulfilled when the two police escorts picked up speed and came up along side the truck, which was beginning to zigzag down the road as the driver lost control. After a moment, the driver stopped struggling and Johnathan dove out one of the car doors, stolen M16 in hand. He rolled along the asphalt to break his fall, but still he felt the skin on his back tear along with the orange jumpsuit he had been forced into three hours earlier. One of the cruisers was pushed off the road by the abandoned truck, flipping over twice before settling on its side at the bottom of a ditch. The truck teetered precariously on the edge of the road. The other cruiser skidded to a stop, leaving streaks of steaming rubber on the road that shone in the light of the streetlamps. The four officers within piled out of it through the doors facing away from Johnathan, thus giving them time to get their bearings before being shot at. It didn't matter, because Johnathan began discharging the M16's entire clip, shattaring the car's windows and hitting two officers in the chest. As a third bent down to check if his brother-in-arms was dead yet, Johnathan dove downwards, scraping the street with his chest as he did so. The officer, who was placing his ear to the fallen one's chest, had foolishly exposed his head to the gap between the bottom of the car and the road. A single shot to his temples removed him from the equation. Johnathan then rolled under the car, hoping he could surprise the policeman left standing with his unconventional tactics. Instead of firing while he could, however, the man lost his edge and retreated, giving Johnathan a clear shot at the back of his head. Suffice it to say, he never made it to the ditch he had most likely hoped to use as a vantage point for the rest of the firefight.

In the ditch that the other police car had crashed into, one officer was tending to a policewoman with a five-inch piece of the car's hood stuck in her chest, while the other two officers were scaling the slope in hopes of joining the fight to help their brethren. They were all mowed down by Johnathan before they realized he had appeared at the top of the hill. The third was quickly picked off as he reached for his sidearm, leaving only the injured policewoman.

"No witnesses." Johnathan said with an almost playful shrug, quickly removing the officer from the equation.

"I trust you have removed all of the hostiles?" Inquired the crackling voice in Johnathan's ear.

"Yes."

"Good. Let me begin. My name is Todd Sanderson..."

[Democratic Peoples republic of Kelvinsi]

Des Moines, Iowa

With no signal from the Governor of Illinois that it would be ok to go to visit as a major presidential candidate, and with the neighboring Des Moines International Airport being on lockdown due to fears of the attacks spreading to Iowa, Danders was stuck in the state of Iowa. A lesser and less ambitious individual would have just waited and sat on his hands, doing nothing, but Danders never liked to do nothing. He always liked to have something to do. It was decided that he would hold rallies where the attendees would have to pay to get in, with all the money raised being donated to help with the Chicago shooting. The plan was approved by the Governor of Illinois and he could officially claim that in his rallies in Iowa.

"Hello folks, we still have no good information or intel about what happened in Chicago. The major news outlets have no info whatsoever about the shooting, and what limited reporting they did suggests a bunch of incoherent plot-holes are prevalent in the stories that they aired, and nothing else. However, today there has been speculation unconfirmed by the way, that the shooter has been captured. Though reports are unconfirmed and the police department has yet to make a statement in the matter. We have no clue what is happening, and at this time I would like to once again ask that we do not jump to any conclusions. The police are doing great work, and I applaud them for their dedication.

Well you guys may be wondering why it costed you all money to get in the rally, though it is not a lot 15 dollars per ticket, and we have a few thousand people here in the room, so that adds to be a handsome amount of money. Well the truth is that this rally's proceeds are going to be donated to Chicago. I would have kept this quiet if I could, but a rally is kinda a big deal and thousands of people attend these, so if I kept it quiet it would have been leaked anyways. So I just decided to spill the beans right off the bat, best not let you guys wait."

The crowd cheered at the fact that their money is going to go and help the devastated city.

"While we are here let us talk about how we are gonna make sure that the attack that devastated Chicago does not occur again. Well first we need to make sure that seriously mentally ill individuals do not get access to guns, and once I get back to Vermont I will call for an emergency session, with proper checks to make sure that the mentally ill are not allowed to buy firearms. Look I have no qualms with these people, but these people should not be allowed to have guns, it is dangerous for themselves first and foremost, but it is also dangerous to the rest of the community, we cannot have that happen.

Next we need to make sure that we actually implement an effective criminal rehabilitation system. Currently the USA has won of the worst criminal rehabilitation rates in the developed world, with one of the highest rates of recidivism, we need to get that under control by investing in our justice system to make it more like that of Norway's with a focus on rehabilitation rather than punishment. Currently our prisons are not good at all, in fact they could be called Criminal University, and in that metric our prisons are doing very well, with those serving time in prison often graduating to higher level offences when their sentence is up. We need to fix our justice system folks we really need to do that.

Before we end I would like to dedicate another moment of silence for those dead and wounded in Illinois, and a quick prayer for them."

[Cyrodiiill]

Texarkana, TX, Press Conference for Congressman Albert Ulricht

The crowd of about 30 people gathered unenthusiastically for the speech that Congressman Ulricht planned to recite in a matter of minutes. They waited patiently while staring at an empty podium for about 15 minutes past the scheduled time for the speech. After a short while the Congressman made his way to the stand, smiling at the crowd which did not smile back.

"Sorry I'm late ladies and gentlemen, I had important business to attend to. I called this conference to announce my endorsement of Calvin Reed for the Presidency of the United States. I support Mr. Reed because he embodies strong conservative values and principles and because I believe he will lead this nation into a new era of prosperity and advancement. This nation requires a strong and capable leader, and I believe that leader is Calvin Reed. I've never met the man personally, but I have heard many great things about him, and I feel he is the best suited man for the position. And I'm not just endorsing this man for his looks, heh." Albert lets out a light laugh while waiting for the crowd to return it, they do not.

"Thank you all for coming, goodbye." Albert walks off of the stage, and soon the members of the crowd begin to exit the room. There was no applause.

[Great Franconia and Verana]

(Image)
New York City, New York

The deep chortle of the V8 engine echoed through the parking lot, as Theresa Pearson guided her BMW 7 Series through the building, eyes peeled for a spot. She had driven across Manhattan, in Rush Hour, for this meeting, and was not going to be late. Pulling gracefuly between two SUV's, Theresa clicked her fob, and a loud beep rang clear, accompanied by the flash of red lights. She turned, walking elegantly towards the far door, heels rapping to her steps. Removing her BlackBerry from her purse, Theresa checked the time. 3:27 PM.

Lets hope this elevator is fast, Theresa shrugged, pressing the up button. The doors swung open almost instantly, and she marched in, typing vigorously on her phone. Her staff back at campaign HQ had been working for weeks, with door knockers, and other staffers doing double duty to ensure that Theresa won the primary. She faced hardly a credible candidate for what was, after all, her old Senate seat, but Theresa had decided long ago to never take anything for granted. But even she could not deny, with a powerful campaign infrastructure, national name recognition, and a deep war chest, she was on track to win. This meeting could only help her cause.

Ascending the large tower in downtown Manhattan could be construed as humiliating. After all, Theresa was a former Cabinet member, Senator, Solicitor General, and even served a term as State Attorney General, but yet here she was climbing this building, to pay homage to the other incumbent Senator, the young Alicia Florrick. She had not minded, she knew how these things worked, the ceremony and imagery involved. Her fiance decidedly did not. He had been quite aghast at the idea of Theresa going to Florrick's office rather than the Senator coming to the Pearson-Jones Law Firm offices on Fifth Avenue, and had urged her to refrain from going, lest the visit be construed as weakness. Theresa had simply shaken her head, and once more tried to explain the reasons behind her visit.

Before long the elevator doors slid open, as Theresa looked down one more time at her phone.
3:30, on the nose, she smiled, strutting into the Senator's constituency office.
She walked slowly up to the Secretary.

"Excuse me," she said with a smile. "Theresa Pearson, here to see Senator Florrick."

"Oh, I know who you are," the old woman said with a grin. "Please, take a seat."

Theresa nodded her thanks, and took a seat in the waiting area, legs folded gracefully. She clasped her hands on her knee and awaited the Senator.

Alicia's office was a sprawling mess, Advisers and associates huddled around her computer feeding her information to respond to each constituents email. Many wondered why she spent so much of her time talking to constituents, but the real reason was that she truly cared about what the people thought. After finishing up the last email Alicia's receptionist popped her head around the door.

'Senator, Ms Pearson is here to see you now'.

''Show her into the conference room, i'll be through in just a minute'' Said Alicia.

The Senator was quite surprised when she was told that Ms Pearson wanted to meet with her. In fact she wondered why someone with such a national presence and such an impressive resume felt the need to meet with a first term Senator who's main appeal was only to the Liberal base of the party. But Alicia admired this about her, that she was willing to meet with someone who many thought should be going to meet Ms Pearson instead.

Never the less, the Senator was optimistic about the meeting, exited about cooperating with the Lawyer for the good of the State.
Walking into the Conference room, she smiled extended her hand and said:

''Sorry about the wait, I'm Senator Florrick but please, call me Alicia''.

Theresa smiled brightly, taking the Senator's extended hand.
"Alicia," Theresa said, shaking her hand firmly. "So nice to meet you, please, call me Theresa."

Walking into the Senator's office, Theresa sat down in front of the desk, crossing her as Alicia sat across from her.

"So," Theresa chuckled, "You're probably wondering why I am here. I am not going to sugar coat it, this is not entirely a social visit, you do know, I'm sure, that I am currently running in the Primary for James Harper, and indeed my, old seat. Forgive my bluntness, but there is not likely to be a serious challenger, and I was hoping that we might be able to begin our relationship early, to start off on the right foot. "

[The Galactic Triumvirate]

Alicia's office was a sprawling mess, Advisers and associates huddled around her computer feeding her information to respond to each constituents email. Many wondered why she spent so much of her time talking to constituents, but the real reason was that she truly cared about what the people thought. After finishing up the last email Alicia's receptionist popped her head around the door.

'Senator, Ms Pearson is here to see you now'.

''Show her into the conference room, i'll be through in just a minute'' Said Alicia.

The Senator was quite surprised when she was told that Ms Pearson wanted to meet with her. In fact she wondered why someone with such a national presence and such an impressive resume felt the need to meet with a first term Senator who's main appeal was only to the Liberal base of the party. But Alicia admired this about her, that she was willing to meet with someone who many thought should be going to meet Ms Pearson instead.

Never the less, the Senator was optimistic about the meeting, exited about cooperating with the Lawyer for the good of the State.
Walking into the Conference room, she smiled extended her hand and said:

''Sorry about the wait, I'm Senator Florrick but please, call me Alicia''.

Theresa smiled brightly, taking the Senator's extended hand.
"Alicia," Theresa said, shaking her hand firmly. "So nice to meet you, please, call me Theresa."

Walking into the Senator's office, Theresa sat down in front of the desk, crossing her as Alicia sat across from her.

"So," Theresa chuckled, "You're probably wondering why I am here. I am not going to sugar coat it, this is not entirely a social visit, you do know, I'm sure, that I am currently running in the Primary for James Harper, and indeed my, old seat. Forgive my bluntness, but there is not likely to be a serious challenger, and I was hoping that we might be able to begin our relationship early, to start off on the right foot. "

Alicia smiled, ''You cut to the chase, I like that, I've looked into your career and I'm very impressed. You'd make an excellent Senator'' Alicia laughed. ''Well, of course you know that, you've done it before''. Alicia crossed her legs and turned to fully face Theresa. ''I do have some questions about your positions on the issues, now your returning to politics'' Alicia paused. ''I was wondering how you felt about Corporate tax rates, as you may know, i won this seat fighting for higher taxes on corporations, i was wondering how you feel about that''.

''Secondly'' Alicia continued, ''As you are aware, our Presidential nominee may be a candidate who calls LGBT Americans 'Sodomites', I was wondering how you felt about Marriage equality?''

[Meelducan]

[Great Franconia and Verana]

Theresa smiled brightly, taking the Senator's extended hand.
"Alicia," Theresa said, shaking her hand firmly. "So nice to meet you, please, call me Theresa."

Walking into the Senator's office, Theresa sat down in front of the desk, crossing her as Alicia sat across from her.

"So," Theresa chuckled, "You're probably wondering why I am here. I am not going to sugar coat it, this is not entirely a social visit, you do know, I'm sure, that I am currently running in the Primary for James Harper, and indeed my, old seat. Forgive my bluntness, but there is not likely to be a serious challenger, and I was hoping that we might be able to begin our relationship early, to start off on the right foot. "

Alicia smiled, ''You cut to the chase, I like that, I've looked into your career and I'm very impressed. You'd make an excellent Senator'' Alicia laughed. ''Well, of course you know that, you've done it before''. Alicia crossed her legs and turned to fully face Theresa. ''I do have some questions about your positions on the issues, now your returning to politics'' Alicia paused. ''I was wondering how you felt about Corporate tax rates, as you may know, i won this seat fighting for higher taxes on corporations, i was wondering how you feel about that''.

''Secondly'' Alicia continued, ''As you are aware, our Presidential nominee may be a candidate who calls LGBT Americans 'Sodomites', I was wondering how you felt about Marriage equality?''

Theresa nodded, and listened carefully to the questions the Senator imposed.

"Well corporate tax rates are definitely something that needs to be looked at. I have a few ideas, and, If you would allow me to expand on the topic, it is not only in the realm of Tax."

"Firstly, Democrats should call on Congress to prevent “inversions” and end transactions like the Pfizer-Allergan deal. Key to this would be a common sense exit tax that could be levied on companies that leave the United States pay their fair share. However, on corporate tax itself, we do have, in our highest bracket, a 35% tax, which is one of the highest in the World. Our biggest problem might not be tax rates, but rather closing the loopholes, like inversions and the carried interest loophole. The way the tax code is structured is really why so many corporations seem to pay so little, and I think its incumbent upon Democrats to push for reform."

"On marriage equality, that is something I have been proud to support for quite some time. The Obergefell v. Hodges decision is not only the right one legally, but also morally, and I would not be at all afraid to oppose any Presidential nomination that would overturn that ruling. The language that Governor Kuznetsov used is totally unacceptable, and should really be a disqualifying statement. If she is our nominee, I would have to expect an apology from her, since not only is the LGBTQ community so heavily Democratic, but it was simply an offensive statement. I do not fault Sentaor Conti for losing his cool in the last debate, I dont know if I would have reacted any differently had, for example, someone outright called me a negro on national television."

"If I may extend the topic slightly to Womens Health, I do think that the recently passed WAC bill aught to be repealed, and that we fight against the unfair restrictions that are currently being imposed on women in many states, like Mississippi and Texas for example."

[Democratic Peoples republic of Kelvinsi]

Sioux City, Iowa

Still stranded Iowa, Danders decided to get a little campaigning done before he could finally leave the state, something that he could not do at the moment due to the emergency lock down of Des Moines airport still in effect. He was essentially stuck in the state of Iowa, until the psycho gets apprehended and brought to justice while he was there he might as well make the best use of his time there. Moving the city of Sioux City in the western part of Iowa, he was going to do another one of his charity rallies to garner up more goodwill and name recognition in the state of Iowa. If he was gonna become the general election nominee the map tells him he needs a few battlegrounds where he is strong in. The state of Pennsylvania where he should be able to squeeze by in, by hitting the rust belt region hard to make up for his deficit in the large cities. The state of Minnesota, where polls show him ahead by the slightest of margins. The state of Wisconsin, where he was behind by a small margin. The state of New Hampshire where he again was leading by a tiny margin. The state of Iowa where he has been investing most of his time, since he has been stranded in the state. Finally the toughest challenge of them all, Ohio, Reed does much better than other Republicans in the cities, and the evangelicals were energized, he was behind by a large margin in the state, but that was for another time. Reed would have trouble doing well in Michigan due to his position in trade, so that state was not his prime concern for now.

"Citizens of Iowa, I am saddened to say that according to recent reports, it appears that the suspect that has been the mastermind behind the Chicago bombings has been captured, but has then made a horrific escape killing many police officers in his attempt. I would like to urge again that I am sure that the best and brightest of the entire USA is on the case, and I have the utmost confidence that they would bring him to justice for his killings in the near future. This has truly been a horrible week for all of us, and I pray for those police officers and civilians killed in the attacks of the suspect, and I hope that you guys can give them a prayer as well. Before we start I would like for us to have another moment of silence, I know I did this before, but I think that is necessary in light of recent events.

So guys please join me in this moment of silence"

The crowd stood silent for about a minute, but it felt like an eternity for the governor and those in the crowd.

"Thank you guys are so great, I really appreciate it and I think the people right next door in Illinois appreciates it as well.

You all may be wondering why you had to pay to get into this rally, and once again it is meant to raise money to give to Illinois, and Chicago. I would hope you guys understand that your money is going to a good cause. Just so you guys know I am not stealing the money like some tinpot corrupt individual, and this is all a scam. I would like to announce that this thing, these rallies have been approved by the Governor of Illinois, who I am going to go meet once he gives me the go ahead.

Now is once more the time for mourning, now is the time for sorrow, but at same point we need to address the future, we have to address that we as Americans cannot let one tragedy overcome our spirit. We need to look forward and look backward to ensure that our nation once more seizes the mantra of the shining city on the hill, that President Reagan referred to, but to reclaim that mantle will involve looking at progressive policies to push our nation forward to the 21st century.

The 21st century means the battle between the working man and the elites in wall street, it means the battle between the farmer and the giant multinationals, the stakes have never been higher. Right now we face a huge problem in that multinationals especially not American ones, are taking over our food production, and they are shipping in food from Thailand, Haiti, Costa Rica, and other countries at very low prices. Our farmers here in America need help, we need to give them subsides to help them against the forces of globalization. These subsidies will create many jobs here in the United States, or at the very least make sure that the jobs we currently have do not get lost to the evils of globalization. Subsidies need to be given, and trust me under my administration the subsidies for agriculture will be large. We will also get Wall Street and other elites in the country to pay for them. We are paying for it by closing the carried interest loophole, and giving all the money raised from the tax to help with agriculture subsidies of this country.

We are gonna help the industry by promoting biofuel through subsidies. Biofuels is based primarily off corn, something that you guys grow a lot of. We would be getting rid of the horrible Bush Tax Cuts and raising taxes on the rich. We are gonna crack down on tax havens, and we are going to use the money from tax havens to pay for these subsidies. Trust me the agriculture industry will expand when the biofuel sector actually starts taking off, and the farms here would employ so many people. There will be a great deal of jobs for anyone who is willing to work in the sector.

So let us remember the tragedy in Chicago, but now is not the time to dwell on the past, but now is time to look into the future of this country with new policies such as more agriculture subsidies to create a brighter future for farmers who right now are struggling to make a living competing against the Multinationals."

[The Peoples East Africa]

Theobold Cornelius Kuntz woke up, surrounded by the party of last night's remains. A few streamers to his left, some white powder to his right, a couple of whores on the ground. The standard party for a man of his position. He went to roll off the bed, busted the mattress, and rolled back to his waking position. Reaching down, he pulled a heroin needle out of his toe, wiped off what remained of last night's powder, and gave it another go. One swing, two swings, and on his third rock, Cornelius Kuntz shot off his bed. A loud cracking sound went with him. Recovering, Corn got on two feet again, and cracked the rest of him. Fingers, toes, neck, shoulders, coccyx, the works. The noise roused the whores.

"Bitches, leave."

Soon Corn Kuntz was alone again, alone with his beautiful self. On the floor went his clothes, and his gorgeous body to the bathroom. Heaving into the toilet, several joints came up and out his throat and into the yellow water, off to make some fishes stoned. Climbing into the shower, Theobold got to work. Some pizza juice came gushing from between two fat folds, splashing on his marble tiled floor. Some crusty spots had to be worked at with his toothbrush, but soon all peeled off. He took the time to shave, floss, desmegmate, and trim. Drying off, Corny got to his dressing. Some boxers, patterned with Old Glory, some silk panties for comfort, and a wifebeater...for warmth. On top came his shirt and chinos, a fabulous jacket, some endangered-rhino hide shoes, and a tight belt. Finishing it off with a solid gold watch, Cornelius stepped out of his hotel room, where his beloved father, Ulysses, stood guard. The men nodded to each other, and went about their days.

---

First order of business was to check Reddit, and any happenings in the political world. Logging into his account, KuntzMan64, he smiled at seeing his inbox blown up. 13 gildings, 2 new moderations, and 2400 karma accrued over night. A good Redditor had to respond. "Le Edit: Thank you for the gold kind stranger!", "Edit: Rip my inbox lol", "Edit: Front page are yu fuking serious!?!?!?!?"

Another thing to be proud of, r/The_Donald has reached the front page, again! Their newest upvote party celebrated yet another slave owner going unpunished in Mali. 37,369 comments, over $4,500 worth of gildings, and 8,888 upvotes. Another fucking success put in action by Theobold Cornelius Kuntz.

Not all was right, in r/Politics, one particular hub of liberal cucks and their hivemind, a certain topic was getting too many upvotes. "Tony Schlang delivers inspirational sppech", "Schlang, greatest speech sayer since Luther?", "Tony Schlang saved my marriage", and it went on.

Time to investigate...

[Tallahassee News Station]

TNS Daily News

Development and Investment Revitalization Plan introduced by a Governor Huerta

Yesterday in a press conference, Governor Esperanza Huerta announced a new plan for the state known a the Development and Investment Revutalizaion Plan, or DIRP. The plan is focused around creating a 2% corporate income tax rebate option for companies relocating to the state for two years, in an attempt to encourage investment. Governor Huerta commented

This initiative is designed to help further Florida's business-friendly climate, and promote further prosperity. With the focus of the rebate on companies relocating to economically disadvantaged areas, we will hope to improve the chances of those left behind.

The plan also includes a provision giving favorable standing to applicants using at least 25% biofuel in their energy usage "or other such forms of renewable energy." This second provision is expected to be somewhat more contested in both Republican-controlled houses, but a high-ranking member of the state senate said

We are confident that we can find common ground in improving opportunity for growth across Florida

This is the second initiative of the Governor's just this week after a reforming the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, harshening fines for those who harm the animals, as the legislature prepares to recess over the summer.

[The Peoples East Africa]

The research was done, and Corn knew what he must do, a rally! Tony Schlang appeared to be a bigger shit than had first been thought. His subreddit was big, far too big to be left alone. His following of meme lovers might be the only in the world that could stand up to Corn's. A lover of drugs and women, the two might even have been friends, were it not for Schlang being a complete and utter cuckold, with a disgusting name. Not to mention the wrong positions on everything, and being a supporter of Danders.

"Danders, ha, what a cuck," Corn said, "It's time the world knew the truth." Logging into Reddit, Kuntz got to work on a very important post. The post announcing his rally, in a local coffeeshop in downtown Dover. All were invited. His army of upvote bots got the news to the frontpage of around four different subreddits. Free beer was promised.

---

The rally had less than ideal numbers, but that wasn't important! Some loyal users were giving live updates on Reddit, and a self-employed journalist even showed up to tape the glorious event. Adbots would ensure it would gain millions of views, and the Kuntz message would be seen worldwide.

"Friends, lovers, dealers, workmates, family, a fine salute to you all. I've invited you here to talk about the future of our nation, the greatest nation of all time. Such a fine nation takes a good man to run it. A man with a nation-running quality, who can seduce foreigners, flirt with the opposition, rape our enemies, and pillage their lands. That man is, not me, not yet, it's Calvin Reed. Hear that? Calvin, Fucking, Reed. Learn the name, he is the future." Corn coughed up some phlegm.

"You wanna know who isn't the future? The cucks in power right now in Washington state. Those liberals and their hivemind, you know, I won't even get into it. What I will get into, is a man that digusts me! Tony Schlang. Did ya'll hear that?"

The crowd remained silent.

"Good. This man is a cuck. You heard it right, a big, fucking, cuckold. Now this word is thrown around a lot these days, but I mean it, look up a dictionary, and you'll see what Schlang is. His wife is sleeping with everybody. The milkman, the postman, their local priest. I kid you the fuck not. And this cuck Schlang is happy about it. I have proof too. Photos, videos, signed confessions, taped interviews. All with Schlang smiling while his wife gets some. No more hiding the truth Schlang, the world will know." Corn coughed up some more phlegm.

"And Danders, ha! Words don't exist for his escapades. His wife is loyal, but the man himself is worse than Schlang. Did ya'll know that Danders has been sleeping with over twenty different men since he came to office? And I don't mean they tuck each other in with a warm glass of milk. I'm talking ballsdeep depravity. Can you believe a man like that might run this country?" One watcher said no.

"Exactly! I won't let these cucks run this country. I have proof of this activity, and I'll release it. If the Reddit post of this rally receives 1000 gildings by next week, in exactly one month, I will release my proof. 1000 gildings, that's, what, $3,000? And there's seven billion of you, you can do it. For the glory of America!" Corn coughed up some phlegm again.

"Now have some beer on me!" The crowd cheered and got drunk. Corn's upvote bots saw to it that the rally was frontpage on Reddit, for the whole internet to see.

[Alozia]

[Sanabel]

Schlang's Pad, The Office of the Secretary of the Interior, Washington, District of Columbia


Tony Schlang dry-heaved about seven times during and directly after seeing the video his father/Chief of Staff, Don Schlang, had sent to him. It was some "rally" by a few internet trolls, and normally he would not care; but he could not handle insults of this magnitude, and with this many viewings!

He paced back and forth, in total and utter disbelief. His wife was a whore, but that was of no fault of his own!

He just kept repeating to himself what his mother always said, "Tony, you are smart, handsome, and gifted," in between dry heaves and erratic breathing. Tony went to his bathroom, and opened up his cigarette case, pulling out a rolled marijuana joint. He sat on the toilet and smoked it, taking long, mellow drags. The world suddenly came back into focus, it was his to grab by the horns and bend to his will.

It was at this time that he knew what to do. Flushing the remains of the joint, he then splashed cold water on his face. He pulled out his iPhone, and called his father. "Dad, you know what to do." On the other end, Don nodded, and made the call.

"Corn" Kuntz would be flown on Schlang's private jet to Atlantic City for a nice getaway, an offer he could not possibly refuse, where Tony would be waiting for some "negotiating."

That evening, two men arrived at Kuntz's house to take him to his surprise flight.