Washington (US Political RP; 2016 ; IC ; OPEN!)

[Waldriech]

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Washington
A US Political RP

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Shake with your right hand, but hold a rock in your left
Frank Underwood - House of Cards

2016 is an important year for politics in the United States. This year, the US will have a new president, a new Congress, new governors and politicians to lead it. Do you have the guts to survive this year? Whether you are a senior senator seeking for presidency, a freshman representative suddenly plunged into the activity of DC or an ambitious journalist looking for good scoops in the hall of the Capitol, this year is going to be hard for you. The Political landscape is more polarized than ever, with Republicans and Democrats looking sideways at each other whilst the country is ultimately divided on issues such as ISIS, gay marriage, China, taxes and more or less everything.But beware, for only one rule subsists in the corridors of the Capitol building: the survival of the fittest. Backstabbing, secret deals, questionable arrangements and machiavellic plans are your everyday programme, if you want to keep your head up in this overwhelming world of politics. Meanwhile, the elections are approaching... It is going to be a hard year for you. So, are you ready for it?

[Hrvatska-Dalmacija]

Columbus Ohio
Johnson stood up before he crowed of 3000 and said the following,

"Hello thanks for being here.
I would first like to state that I am enraged about how our country is heading.
The Washington Bureaucrats are taking away our freedoms.
They want to raise our taxes.
They want to take away our guns.
They want to make our lives miserable.
But I will stop this!
How you ask?
I am running for President!"

The crowed began to loudly cheer. They started screaming Johnson! Johnson! Edward knew he had to make a difference in America. He dreamed of becoming President ever since he knew what a President was. This was his time to full fill his dreams.

[Ghondra]

Miami, Florida

Housed inside a Football Field, the crowd was awashed with excitement, waving signs exclaiming their support for the Junior Senator from Florida. Miguel was doing his regular pre-speech ritual, dressed in a dark blue suit with light blue tie, with a flag pin on his suit's lapel. His family was standing beside him, dressed in their best. He smiled at them, before ushering them to follow him onto the stage.

The cheers from the crowd of 5000 Santana supporters was deafening to the ear. It took Miguel years of practice not to freeze up, but instead he smiled and wave, walking over to the podium, the song "Best Day of My Life" blared in the background, and as Miguel took his place in the podium the crowd turned into a frenzy, chanting "MI-GUEL, MI-GUEL" the young Senator grinned, thanking the crowd.

"Thank you, your enthusiasm is uplifting in times such as these" He grinned, "Today, our country is run not by representatives elected by the people, but representatives chosen by Big Business for Big Business!" The crowd booed at the mention of Big Business, "Today the largest employers is the Service Industry, offering pay that no one can possibly support themselves and their family on.

But this isn't the America my grandparents came here for. They did not come from Mexico, uprooting their lives and their families to work for a Fast Food Company for minimum wage. No! They came here because they believed in the promise of this country. That this is a land of opportunity, a land of prosperity where any man, any woman is on equal ground, where all men are brothers! Where every person no matter what can make something of themselves. That enterprising spirit was what made my Family come to this country, but that dream has disappeared. Replaced by unfettered greed with no thought to your fellow citizens, with no thought of their prosperity and well-being.

But is that the future of our country?! A land where a wealthy elite chooses our leaders for us? A land where our leaders and representatives kow tow to the interests of the few, and not the many? Is that the new spirit of America?!"

"NO!" The crowd answered.

"No! That cannot be our future, we must have a future we can believe in, one that we will fight for, not just for ourselves, but for our children, and for our fellow citizens.

Ronald Reagan once described America as a shining city on the hill. But that vision has been corrupted. Let us take back our country from the one percent! Take back our country from special interests and big business, and let us restore that vision of that shining city on the hill! Where all men are brothers, where everyone can make something of themselves no matter who they are!"

The crowd's roar reverberated throughout the field.

"And that is why, I am running for President of these United States of America in 2016! To restore that vision, to take back our country and to create a future that all of us, no matter color or creed can believe in!"

The crowd stood up, chanting the newly declared candidate's name as he walked off the stage with his family, waving at the crowd, a large grin on his face. He was going to win, come hell or high water.

[Hrvatska-Dalmacija]

Wells Fargo Arena: Des Moines, Iowa
Johnson stood up before the crowed of 8000.
"Today I will speak about ISIS.
ISIS has killed 29 American citizens.
This is something we need to stop, and this is something I can stop.
If I am the next president of the United States, the first thing i'd do is call up our allies in the Middle East and tell them I got their back.
After that I would ask Congress for to give us the authority to attack ISIS with all we've got!

The crowed began to cheer.

[Zelent]

Little Rock, Arkansas

People filed into War Memorial Stadium after quick security checks, some having to walk far from the Import car parking, that was purposely done to send a protectionist message, they'd be relieved by free water at the entrances as they filled up the stadium,The end count was somewhere around 32,000 people. In the middle of the stadium was the large circular platform from which newly announced Presidential candidate Schniderhouser, or simply, Schnider, would speak. The stage was circled, by 25 members of local Vanguard Legion squads, dressed in their standard Patrol Uniform, a heavyweight cotton undershirt underneath a long sleeve black shirt, tightly tucked into khacki colored work pants held up by military belts and tactical black boots, and additionally with black gloves, that didn't stand out compared to their wooden batons and black Ruger Mini-14s strapped to their backs. These daunting paramilitaries had become a common sight at public Schnider events for the past 4 years, but they always put on a pleasant, smiling demeanor, especially the ones assigned to patrol the stadium and interact with people, or some walking their well-behaved K-9s through the crowds. It wasn't necessarily in a show of force, but many in the media would no doubt interpret it as such.

Eventually, Schnider came to the stage and faced the crowd, he stood at a podium and waved to calm as the massive crowd cheered and applauded before his speech. Per usual, he started his speech out very calmly in a relaxed, almost non interested demeanor, that was only broken by the power fullness and attention grabbing of his voice, but not until after a row of Legion buglers and drummers had called the stadium to attention with the playing of Reveille.

"My loyal, ever so loyal people, who've given me the opportunity....or perhaps the privilege... to be governor of this state for the past six years. I thank you. With your support, look at what we've done together, we've gotten kids off the street corner and in the classroom, we've rebuilt our states infrastructure to some of the highest standards in the nation, we've led the way in the manufacturing renaissance, as corporations who had once dared to be so corrupt as to betray the fatherland came back into our state! Putting use to temporarily abandoned factories and warehouses that otherwise had become dilapidated centers of crime and sin!" He said, his voice having risen into an angry thunderous rampage as could be expected of Schnider. He paused for a second as to wipe the sweat off his brow and continue again.

"Together, we've achieved greatness, but now its time for us to march forward to the national level! We shall apply all we've done and experienced to the nation wide stage in our journey to rebuild our tattered and nearly broken country. We are going to guarantee the sick get the care they need, that poor children are fed and that not one veteran walks our streets homeless suffering from problems with alcohol or narcotics. We are going to gurantee our elderly that they will be taken care of and appreciated, and that every working person will have that same retirement however many decades into the future, It's time we take our country back from the Political class and the wealthy elite that are standing by in their high castles, looking down upon working people and laughing. It's this same elitist class which intentionally nurtures the struggle among the American people, and the hatred among them, it is a small, international clique that turns the people against each other, and does not want them to have peace. It is the people who feel at home, both everywhere and nowhere, as they have no soil upon which they hold their loyalty or call their homeland, but who belive in Paris one day, then in London, then in Brussels, then in Amsterdam, or in Berlin, then in New York, then in LA, then in Seoul, or in Moscow, in Sydney. They are the true international element!" Abruptly, a loud voice in the crowd shouted just two words, not in English, in German "Der Juden!"uninterupted, Schnider had continued speaking without pause, but moved his left hand to form a A-OK symbol very quickly to the part of the crowd where the heckling had originated, as if to lowkey with the media hopefully not noticing say Exactly! "They are the true international element, because they conduct their business both openly and secretly, everywhere and nowhere!"

We are going to secure our southern border from the rampaging cartels that are invading our country with their harmful drugs and ripping our border community, and our heartland community's apart with violence and sin, as workers who've seen their livelihoods destroyed by wealthy corporations who take unfair advantage of free trade agreements to stab their heimlands in the back, turn to drugs like Methamphetmine or Alcohol to escape their problems. Those same trade deals have caused at least a million displaced Mexican peasant farmers to flee into our country looking for work and bringing crime with them. To ensure the safety on our streets, every illegal immigrant who has commuted a crime, instead of being allowed to sit in our jails shall be deported to their country of origin! And those who have came here, looking for a better future and an American dream, we shall say, your'e welcome to stay, so long as you contribute to this great land we call AMERICA!"

We are going to refute the attempts of the tyrants in congress who want to prevent lawful American citizens from owning firearms!

We are going to remove the red-tape that restrains small business!

We are going to destroy the backwards barbaric organization that is ISIS, that kills American civilians and destabilizes the Middle East, we're going to drop them dead, I promise you, within two weeks of my election to presidency."

With that, Schnider began to conclude his speech, and affirmed his resolve to fight this presidential campaign solidly and on behalf of all Americans. People cheered and shouted slogans supporting Brandt as he walked off the stage, flanked by Legionaries. The head of the Vanguard Legion, standing in front of the stage, called a 3 repetition HAIL! to order, in which the crowd began with a two finger salute before chorusing, three times "Hail! Hail! Hail" it shook the stadium and resonated across the city.

[The Orion Islands]

Senator Troy Wilson was very nervous. He was about to change his life and potentially alter the course of history. Madison Square Garden was packed with 13,000 supporters. His manager looked at him
"Ready?" That was all he said. Troy walked on to the court to applause so wild the scoreboard shook.
"Good afternoon citizens. I am here to let you just imagine. Imagine a world with no ISIS. Imagine a world where we are the leader. Imagine a world where our veterans are given respect. Imagine a world with secure borders. Imagine a world with no gun control. Imagine a world where jobs are coming back. Imagine a world were you keep your money. Imagine a world where every single word of Obamacare has been shredded. Imagine a world with energy independence. Imagine a world where the damn government isn't everywhere. Imagine a world with cybersecurity. Imagine a world where drugs are under control. I have thousands of these dreams to make the world a better place. But they won't happen if we pick the wrong man for office. That's why I'm here. Me, Junior Senator Troy Wilson of Wyoming will be the next President of the United States of America and Leader of the Free World. Let's make America the land of dreamers again! I grew up in a rough and tumble ranch town that was not the best place. But here I am with all of you! I know what America needs-dreamers!"

[Krugeristan]

New York City, New York, United States

Using a heavy chair, Jay Garestaer blocked the café doors just as a swarm of journalists caught up to him. Upon seeing they couldn't get in and that he didn't want to speak to them, they left, disappointed.

Garestaer took a seat at the counter, and smiled, glancing at the surprised patrons. "I'm pretty sure you all don't need pigs wearing makeup to spoil your evening," he said. "I've been running from them all day."

This particular café in New York City was a safe haven for Garestaer; it was right next to a bookstore, and had a view of one of the better streets in the city. He swiveled to face the people in the café with a smile on his thin face, the lights in the ceiling catching off his green eye. "There is a huge problem with journalism," he started. "They give us the information, or . . . do they really? How do we know they're not lying to us? How do we know they're not a section of the government, trying to feed you and your children lies, every single day? Why is it that they paint men on the Right as demons, and the immoral pieces of filth on the Left as saviors? Why is that? I can promise you, all of you, for the sake of the truth, that as your president, I will end lying in journalism. I want the truth to be known to everyone on who a candidate really is, for we politicians are not supermen, and we never will be."

A few of the patrons were nodding, although some were a little shocked at the heterochromatic man's statements.

Garestaer folded his arms over his chest. "Now, how do you know I'm telling the truth? Well, I'll let you decide."

[Democratic Peoples republic of Kelvinsi]

Drumpf Tower,Atlanta, Georgia

Descending down the escalator at Drumpf tower in Atlanta, Georgia, Drumpf waved to his adoring crowds with placards being held up high saying "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN". The cheers of the crowd, despite its small size no more than 200 people, the crowd sure made up for their lack of size with their near fanatical devotion to Drumpf. With his hands stretched out, he shook the hands of his supporters, who cheered even louder at his arrival.

"DRUMPF, DRUMPF, DRUMPF"

The crowd chanted, and the security guards that Drumpf hired for his even moved in to restrain the crowd in case they became too boisterous to contain. The security that Drumpf hired was from his own company, Drumpf Security Solutions, which has a renowned record across the world as the world's "Least Competent Security Corporation" ranked by a recent magazine. Nevertheless, the security company had Drumpf's name on it, and people would often associate the word Drumpf for success no matter how bad the product is their will always be a customer. However, the security appeared to be on their best behavior, walking up to a security guard, Drumpf could not smell any booze in their mouth. It must be his lucky day!

Walking up to the podium that he reserved for himself, Drumpf waved to the crowd, whom Drumpf had to gesture to settle down with. Only Drumpf had total command of his supporters, no one else ever seemed to have his authority over Drumpf supporters. The classical Drumpf supporter was committed to Drumpf through thick and thin, through bad times and good, and Drumpf liked it that way.

"Thank you, thank you all"

Drumpf began, and his supporters immediately piped down, they respected their leader, and would not dare defy his instructions.

"
Wow lovely crowd, there must be thousands of you!!

Today we are living in the living corpse of America, yeah you heard me right America right now is a living cadaver. You know why? It is because we do not have any, yes ANY victories any more. We used to have victories, yes USED TO, not now. But, we do not have a single victory now. Do not listen to the economists who claim that the unemployment rate is 4 percent, I heard that it is 15 percent, 25 percent, or even as high as 50 percent. You know why the economists are lying to you? Do not listen to how the economists claim that the American economy is growing, my friends it is actually shrinking, and the economists do not want to tell you that. You know why? It is because they are all on the pay roll of Washington, with huge bonuses paid to the economists who espouse the view of the government. You know what that has to stop, I hereby decree that I will only be self funding my campaign, along with donations under 500 dollars. It is time for someone who is not in the pocket of Washington to step forward, and take our country back!

America used to the shining city on the hill, you know what it is now? It is the stinky dump on the bottom of the problems that Mexico, and China created for us! You know who got us here? Yeah that is right, IT IS THE WASHINGTON POLITICIANS of all striped and colors! There is some stupid guy named Troy Wilson, true Washington politician, and you know what his campaign slogan is? It is "imagine". You know what it is a good campaign slogan. Because, it takes a hell of a lot of imagination to imagine this guy graduating elementary school. You know what else he said, he said America needs more dreamers. I could not agree more, he should fall asleep and start dreaming while the rest of us adults make real decisions.

Moving on to another Washington politician, Edward Johnson. Come on, my dog's testicle is longer than his speeches. Oh look it seems that I already criticism of him has already been longer than his speeches, so I think he deserves no further criticism. Otherwise, we may confuse him with "words", and "sentences", which he clearly is deathly afraid of.

Then there is Senator Santana, is it any surprise that he favors pro-terror policies. He is probably secretly Mexican, and was probably born in Mexico, and forged his birth certificate. He wants more refugees in this country, perhaps to weaken America enough so that Mexico can take over this country. Not just any refugees, but Syrian refugees. You know who is in the Middle East? There are 3 types of people there, terrorists, terror sympathizers, and leaders of the terrorists, and there are no good people there. It is time that we draw a line in the sand, and say no to the forced importation of dangerous individuals. As Governor of Georgia I am hereby issuing an executive order, not allowing a single Syrian refugee into Georgia!

I am the only candidate that can and will make America great again. I took over my father's business, and turned it into one of the largest businesses in the entire world. And, I tell you I am really really rich, and I made myself that rich. I am ready to the same for America! I will be very very tough on trade. When was the last time that we won a trade deal against China, never. I promise that I will impose a very, very, heavy tariff on all manufactured goods, coming into America, while easing transportation of raw materials into this great country! I will also build a great, great, railroad across this entire country. I know how to build railroads, and I can build them very inexpensively, as evidenced by Drumpf Rails, one of my companies in Australia which set a new record for the cheapest cost per mile for a high speed rail road. I will also be very, very tough on China, and prevent the Chinese government from manipulating our currency, we are going to have a nice chat with them, and if they refuse. Well we are going to fight fire with fire, we are going to buy a lot of their currency, and see how much they like it, when their products become too expensive to export. We will be there, and laugh at them, and their sorrows, as they rummage through the garbage cans looking for food!


I am the only true candidate that will Make America Great Again, and I am eager to purge out all the trash on the shining city in the hill, and once again making America the last best hope of freedom across the entire world, and a beacon of freedom for all! Thank you!"

[Great Kauthar]

Tucson Convention Hall, Tucson, Arizona, The United States of America

Anderson began walking into the Convention Hall, and immediately was welcomed by a loud round of applause. There was around 3,200 people here, and news crews as far as the eye could see. He waved at them and greeted the people at the front before getting up to the podium at the centre. He picked up the microphone, breathed in, and began to talk.

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen it is a wonderful day today and it makes it so much better that you could all come out to be here with me. With the sun shining on us, I'm sure the Lord is shining on us too, am I right?" Anderson began, the crowd cheering and clapping every time he paused. "Our country is in need of someone to shine on it, who knows who that person could be? It could be me, or any of you. Anyway, the first announcement I would like to make today, is not the happiest... I really hope it doesn't set the entire mood of this event, because trust me if it does I'll change that instantly anyway. In 2018, I will not be running for Governor of Arizona..."

The crowd was in shock, some people were chanting "Run Jack, Run!". Jack looked on at them and smiled, and began to talk again.

"Anyway, that isn't the focus of today's event. Today, I would like to talk about how this country is going down the drain. These last eight years have been disastrous for our economy and for our international reputations. No longer do people have respect for the United States of America, even though once they'd be kneeling at our feet. For too long has this been the case. I don't want America to be that average country... I don't want us to be like the UK, Spain or France, you know, ex-powers that are weak now. This administration has destroyed us." he paused, the emotion in his voice was real. He started nodding his head and pointed at the crowd. "But you, the American people have the power to change this. Washington, the home of the corrupt political establishment that does not care about us, the working and middle class, thinks that we have no power, and they aren't scared of us. But trust me, we have a lot of power, and we should scare them. People of America, will you follow in the footsteps of Washington and the patriots of 1776, will you be the people that can be proud and tell your children, about the year 2016... when you got fed up with the government and you said enough is enough, WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACK!"

He was met with a roaring applause, that he quickly calmed down by speaking again.

"Well. If you want to help me take our country back then that's a great. I guess now is a better time than ever to say it. I am officially running for president, of the United States of America, and let me tell you all, we are going to take our country back. God Bless America."

"RUN JACK RUN, RUN JACK RUN, RUN JACK RUN!" the crowd chanted, ecstatic that the governor was running for president on a platform so many of them agreed with. The only problem Anderson had was that he didn't know if this platform would be well received across the US, or if Arizona was the only place.

"Now now, let's get onto the less exciting and dramatic part, let me quickly talk policy. The main problem with this country right now, is unemployment. And there's a big, big reason on why unemployment is so high, and it's so simple... our jobs are being sold to other countries. China, India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and Pakistan to name a few, they're just sitting there, trying to think of how stupid a country could be? And I mean fixing this won't be easy, in fact I don't think it's something we could fix, I just think it's something we could prevent. We should give benefits to companies who hire exclusively in the US, and tariffs on companies that outsource jobs to other countries. I mean that's not the only reason unemployment is so high, some are natural and can't be prevented, such as lack of demand for certain goods meaning there's no demand for people to produce them. I mean of course a reason there is little demand for production is that the production has been outsourced to other countries. Nevertheless, unemployment is one of the main things on my platform, the second we begin stomping out corruption in Washington we will begin fixing the unemployment crisis. Secondly, comes the hot topics of abortion and same-sex marriage. Now, to avoid controversy since some people get offended very easily, I'm going to keep it simple - leave it to the states. If you want to kill your baby, fine, go to a state that allows it. If you're a guy and you want to marry a guy, fine, go to a state that allows it. The entire country shouldn't be forced to accept these things if certain states disagree. If 80% of state one don't like abortions, but 55% of state two do, why should state one be forced to allow abortions because state one wants them? Honestly, we can't call ourselves a free country if the states don't get to make rulings on things like these. As for foreign policy, you will have noticed that that's lacking here, yes I know. I am drafting a full foreign policy and I will dedicate a separate event to foreign policy. Trust me, my foreign policy is really gonna make them mad. Anyway, I would like to thank you all for coming here today, and God Bless You all. Please pray for me everybody, as I begin my campaign for president, remember I stand for just four things. Freedom, the People, God, and Country. Thank you everybody have a nice night." he smiled as he began walking off, meeting everyone in the crowd as they cheered and clapped.

His campaign manager, Cass Rowan walked over to him and whispered something to him, he nodded his head and said his final goodbyes, walking out of sight.

"Cass the foreign policy speech is almost done. You don't have to worry."
"Yes I know, that's not what I'm worrying about. It's how successful this will be outside of Arizona. You directly called out the government for being extremely corrupt, the media will-"
"Hey, hey. It's fine. We have a long year ahead of us now Cass, let's cherish this moment as it could be our last moment where we won't be working."

[The Orion Islands]

Troy Wilson statement regarding Gerald Drumpf.

Troy!
Wilson
IMAGINE! 2016

"There is some stupid guy named Troy Wilson, true Washington politician, and you know what his campaign slogan is? It is "imagine". You know what it is a good campaign slogan. Because, it takes a hell of a lot of imagination to imagine this guy graduating elementary school. You know what else he said, he said America needs more dreamers. I could not agree more, he should fall asleep and start dreaming while the rest of us adults make real decisions."

-Gerald Drumpf, at his rally where he announced his bid to be President

If I never got out of elementary school cause I'm too damn stupid, then how come I graduated valedictorian in both high school and college? I am not a true Washington politician, I went in to stop the Democrats from forcing their views on my beloved state of Wyoming. I saw first hand how the ranch struggled thanks to Clinton's EPA shit. I seek to stop the EPA from doing what its doing. Am I the only one in the world who believes that everything starts as a dream? What is he going to do to stop dreams as President? I bet he wants to close the Disney company, whose motifs include magic and dreams, items that he thinks should fail and be banned. He would have Santa shot down if he could. This all coming from a man who wants to commit a Holocaust against Mexico and the Middle East

[Zelent]

Rust Belt Add


I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore! That's why, as Arkansas governor, I instituted policies that saved the state! Now its time to turn those results nation wide.





I, along with the people of Arkansas got the state rolling again. We rebuilt our infrastructure, practically eliminated hard drug use,helped our forgotten Veterans in their time of need, brought our jobs back, stabilized our budget, and rebuilt the state for the Volk, come with me Kamerade, and lets turn that into a nationwide occurrence. Lets Rebuild America. Lean more about my succesful initiatives and my plans for America as a whole at http://www.Schnider4POTUS.com

[The Boras]

54th Street
New York City

Folks, it is great to be back on the show. We've had a week of delays, and I want to apologise for that, because you know, I love this show and I love everyone of you here, almost as much as I love my beautiful face. And I bet without this show on every night, you had nothing in the background to drown out the sex noises from the porn your masturbating to! Don't hide it! I know your sad and extremely depressing life!

But that's besides the point. The 2016 presidential race is underway, and like every election, the cast is as crazy as ever. We have *shows graphic of Drumpf* the egomamiacs, *shows graphic of Edward Johnson* the guy who makes 13-second speeches, *shows graphic of American Freedom Alliance* these people who still haven't been kicked off the air for showing inappropriate images on primetime television, and *shows graphic of Troy Wilson*. Ummm ... No. That-That's too touchy. PCs are gonna shut down my show if I do anything with that subject.

And usually, here in this show we would cover an election 'normally', if you consider dedicating a 7-minute monologue to making fun of a candidate who accidentally said "We had sex". 2008 was a fun time.

But of course, there was 2012. My failed bid to win the presidency. I remember that time like it was yesterday. The pandering, the religious apocryphal prophecies, the headlines from pretentious magazines calling the campaign un-funny, and the Mountain Dew. Oh the Mountain Dew. How could I forget the Mountain Dew! Especially when I developed a crippling addiction to it. Look, I needed something to wash away the tears alright. Don't judge me.

But in case you did forget, here's a clip from four years ago to refresh your memory:

"And I swear to God and the sweet, refreshing taste of Mountain Dew *sips Mountain Dew*, that I, as President of West Virginia and Kentucky, that I will secede both states from the Union and turn the great states of West Virginia and Kentucky, into the great Mountain Dew Empire of Appalachia!"

Fun times wasn't it? Unfortunately, I couldn't get onto the ballot on both states, and that fact was mulled over on the show:

"What are you happy? There's nothing happy about Happy New Year's! I couldn't get on the ballot! No amount of booze and hard liquor can drown my sorrows, not even the burn at the back of the throat when you take a sip of sweet Mountain Dew! *sips Mountain Dew*"

Well folks, I took a good, hard look at my 2012 presidential campaign, and learned from its mistakes. For example, don't campaign about secession, or the state Democratic Party won't give you ballot access. Well, I learned from my mistakes, and I've decided, after weeks of praying and consulting the Magic 8 Ball, that I will throw my hat in the ring. That's right! I, Richard Kirk Felix Baron, am announcing my bid for the 2016 Presidential Election! Jimmy, cue the celebration!

*live marching band playing Star-Spangled Banner comes out, balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling, waving American flag graphic appears behind Kirk, gun-wielding George Washington comes out*

God bless America! Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back!

[Hrvatska-Dalmacija]

Johnson Rally, Sioux City, Iowa.
The crowed of over 8000 was cheering Johnson! Johnson! Edward Johnson took the stage and started speaking. Hello Sioux City! I would like to talk about ISIS. ISIS is a growing threat to America and beyond. They have attacked us, they have attacked our allies, and they have killed too many innocent people. ISIS must be stopped! If I am President ISIS will be destroyed. I will take us to war. It will be a war more total than anything we have waged thus far in the fight against extremism. Soldiers will die. Civilians may die. There will be pain. There will be suffering. We will be confronted with the most horrific aspects of humanity. We will confront the inhuman – evil itself – but we will triumph. It is not a war we will lose! Thank you, and God bless America.

[Krugeristan]

Washington, D.C, USA

Garestaer had mixed emotions about being elected House Speaker. It meant he had more power, and power was what he wanted. He strolled into the Capitol Building, unsmiling and appearing miserable. He didn't want any pictures taken of him, mainly because the flash hurt his right eye for some reason--some kind of oversensitivity to light, which was unrelated to his heterochromia, and his doctor wasn't able to figure out what caused the sensitivity, probably another genetic defect.

Garestaer figured all his abnormalities should've gotten him more support from the Left, since they seemed to love people who are disabled or "different". Although he wasn't disabled, he was certainly different--heterochromatic, left-handed, hypersensitivity to light in one eye, etc. He laughed on the inside, knowing that his political views probably overrode the fact that he had a number of "differences". Deep down, he wanted to do away with the Left, but he never ever said that out loud. There were some things he'd rather keep to himself, like his extreme views and his extreme loneliness, which had almost crippled him his entire life.

An independent reporter approached him--young guy, tough-looking, a serious look on his face--and Garestaer decided to let this one talk. The man asked if Garestaer was still thinking about running for president, and Garestaer said, "Since I'm Speaker now, I have to think about it. Hard."

"What are your opinions on the other candidates?"

"Some of them, like Mr. Johnson, are decent people. Others have a very large screw loose," Garestaer replied. "I refuse to engage in mudslinging, and would much rather focus on talking about my policies and how to make America better. That is all." He turned on his heel and kept walking into the building.

[The Boras]

54th Street
New York City

"My guest tonight: Known as the vicious, crazy-eyed right-winger in the lands of congress, he is the newly elected Speaker of the House, and
possible presidential candidate. From the great white north, please welcome Congressman Jay Garestaer!"

The crowd cheered as the representative walked on to the desk. He waved and gave the crowd a grin as he waltzed on to where Kirk was, and firmly shook his hand while exchanging a quick greeting. With both men sitting comfortably on the rolling chairs, Kirk started off the show with the usual pre-interview banter:

"Evening congressman! Crowd loves you it seems."

"Indeed they do!" Garestaer's reply was drowned out by the crowd cheering again.

"Now, I'm gonna jump straight into the questions we have here. Now firstly, with some of the nation's most prolific politicians throwing their Washington hats into the presidential ring, will you join them? Or are you content with second most-powerful?"

Garestaer smirked and sighed, shrugging. "I really don't know, to be honest with you. I just got elected Speaker, and I do feel that it's wrong to leave my post so early. However, like I may have said, some of the candidates are at such a low caliber of intelligence that I don't know if I want one of them to be in a position higher than mine."

"'Low caliber of intelligence'. Oh my oh my oh my! Roasted!" Kirk laughed, "Well I take it you don't like many of the candidates, because you told a reporter what you thought of the candidates running and you said that some of the, and I quote, "Have a very large screw loose." Who are these people specifically? It may seem I'm cornering you to admitting who your enemies are, and indeed I am doing that."

"Well, everyone has a screw loose. Some people think I have a screw loose. Genetically, all my screws are loose. Anyways, I really don't want to name my enemies here, because I refuse to engage in mudslinging. I'm just going to say that I can't stand how all these other candidates just do rally after rally after rally. If they do, I'm going to have to cut them to see if they're really human, because I don't think a human can connect with other humans if all he does is stand on a stage all day, and they better not come crying to me if they pass out on stage because they haven't eaten or slept in God-knows how many days."

"That was a good dodge, but I'll get you next time!" Kirk exclaimed, in regards to how Garestaer avoided the question, "I'll also take it that you don't like campaigning."

"Well, not the obsessive aspects of it. At least I don't bring my family members along with me everywhere I go." Garastaer answered.

"It's a surprise their kids actually show up. My kids don't even want to step outside these days. I ask them, "Boys it's pandering time!" And they yell, "No Dad I'm playing League of Legends!"

"I suppose that's a benefit of having no children. You don't have to deal with their stupidity."

"It's a rough ride I can tell you that for sure" Kirk grinned as he replied.

"Now, final question. Going back to that statement, was that a thinly veiled insult towards me? Because I am running a campaign after all, and I do think that it is the greatest campaign ever to be ran."

"Oh, bloody fuck, no. I insult everyone." Garestaer gave him a look, the stage lights catching off his green eye.

"Aggressive today aren't we now! Well, that's all the time we have for today, and Mr. Speaker, congratulations on your new job and I wish you luck at it, because you're gonna need it." Kirk chuckled, "Congressman Garestaer everybody!"

[Democratic Peoples republic of Kelvinsi]

Iowa City, Iowa

Drumpf decided to ditch Drumpf security corporation after an embarrassing incident with a member of the Drumpf Security Corporation puking on an audience member's shoes after the rally, which Drumpf quickly reimbursed with his own money, and also fired the guard who did such a thing. Instead he decided bring in Drumpf Security Solutions, another company that he owned, which was rated "Painfully Mediocre" by a recent editorial, citing the lack of professionalism. However, Drumpf did not need professionalism, he needed a team that got the job done. DSS always got its job done, no matter what. The guards patrolled every entrance into the rally, searching random audience members for explosives and bombs.

Stepping on to the podium a very large crowd of 2000 awaited him, the bombastic governor of Georgia whose speeches were highly entertaining to watch, if not impossible not to watch, whether you agree or disagree with Drumpf, you have to admit that it is impossible to not be captivated by his speeches. Walking on to stage again, the crowd went wild. Despite, the fact that Drumpf had not put together or ground game of any sort, the people just seemed to love the rallies.

"So wonderful to see all of you today. I know how hard life has gotten for all of you. There are really stupid people like Troy Wilson running our country. He is a 30 something year old man, who still believes Santa exists. I mean no wonder this guy has a disability, he still freaking believes that Santa Claus exists. I mean my granddaughter is in Kindergarten, and even she is starting to realize that Rudolf is not real. Something that Troy Wilson does, he is such a dummy, and a loser. He must have gotten elected by rigging the ballot, because I trust that no one is dumb enough to elect a person who believes that Santa is real in his 30's. He probably also goes to Disneyland by himself, thinking it is actually magical. Troy Wilson claims that he graduated first of his class in high school, well I guess there must not be too many dumb people in Wyoming, because Troy Wilson was the only one in his special school for dummies like him. You know how I know that he is a retard? Well Dum-Dum Troy did not understand what the Holocaust is. I do not blame him, since he is a complete dummy who thinks Santa Claus is real. If he knew, then he would not have made such a stupid and arrogant comment that was very bad and offensive to our Jewish population. Dum-Dum Troy claims he went into politics to stop the EPA, well he clearly failed in doing that. Dum-Dum Troy is such a dummy that he failed that, during 2008, the EPA budget skyrocketed. Dum-dum Troy is such a dummy he could not even get his one goal right. Before he claims he had no choice, do I need to remind Dum-Dum Troy there is filibuster, that he could have done? Enough about Dum-Dum Troy, let us talk about Tiny-Eddy.

There are also some even dumber people like Edward Johnson making quote on quote speeches, which is probably shorter than his fingers, which already are pretty short. You know what they say about people with small fingers, you cannot trust them. Clearly he is Lexiphobic, I would say that, but Tiny-Eddy probably is too dumb to comprehend that, because he is too scared of words, and sentences. That is why he is saying such short speeches. Is it me or is Tiny-Eddy making the same speech over and over again. It is not even a good speech it is a bad speech, and he is making it over and over again. Maybe because he is too dumb to make a different speech. Oh look I already talked about him for longer than his speech, I better stop before he gets confused, and lost by the many words that I am speaking.

Finally we have a new competitor, Jack Anderson who I am going to call Warmongering Jack. He wants to go intervene in the affairs of other countries, well I say that is none of our business. We need to get our own house into order. I bet that Warmongering Jack was one of the most fervent supporters of the Invasion of Iraq, which was one of the worst invasions in American history. People like him made that giant mess, and I cleaned a large part of it up. I created War Drumpfs, a charity organization dedicated to helping returning vets from the Iraq War. I am very proud to say that I donated over 500 million dollars to that charity, and other veteran charities to help our veterans. Anderson did not even serve in Iraq, and did not do anything to help our vets other than claiming that they were fighting for a just cause. Look I was ready to serve in 'Nam, but by the time I reached 18 the military already withdrew. We need to put America first, not Iraq, or some Middle Eastern hellhole, which Warmongering Jack clearly wants us to do.

I am running to make America great again, something the other candidates do not want to happen, because they are in the payroll of Washington. I am and will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!"

[The Orion Islands]

Troy Wilson rally in Des Moines
Video plays of Drumpf

So wonderful to see all of you today. I know how hard life has gotten for all of you. There are really stupid people like Troy Wilson running our country. He is a 30 something year old man, who still believes Santa exists. I mean no wonder this guy has a disability, he still freaking believes that Santa Claus exists. I mean my granddaughter is in Kindergarten, and even she is starting to realize that Rudolf is not real. Something that Troy Wilson does, he is such a dummy, and a loser. He must have gotten elected by rigging the ballot, because I trust that no one is dumb enough to elect a person who believes that Santa is real in his 30's. He probably also goes to Disneyland by himself, thinking it is actually magical. Troy Wilson claims that he graduated first of his class in high school, well I guess there must not be too many dumb people in Wyoming, because Troy Wilson was the only one in his special school for dummies like him. You know how I know that he is a retard? Well Dum-Dum Troy did not understand what the Holocaust is. I do not blame him, since he is a complete dummy who thinks Santa Claus is real. If he knew, then he would not have made such a stupid and arrogant comment that was very bad and offensive to our Jewish population. Dum-Dum Troy claims he went into politics to stop the EPA, well he clearly failed in doing that. Dum-Dum Troy is such a dummy that he failed that, during 2008, the EPA budget skyrocketed. Dum-dum Troy is such a dummy he could not even get his one goal right. Before he claims he had no choice, do I need to remind Dum-Dum Troy there is filibuster, that he could have done?

If Santa was real, he would have him shot down. That's what I said. I do NOT believe in Santa anymore. I stopped at age 12. Yes, I go to Disney parks by myself, because I have not yet found a wife. I go because I want to head to a place where Drumpf has no influence. I went to a normal high school, Lander Valley, and a normal college at the University of Wyoming. In 2008, I was a member of the STATE Senate. We need to stop this man! He states that I am dumb, but my IQ is 142. Suck on that, Evil Gerald! Now to my foreign policy. Let's start with Cuba. While I oppose the thaw, I feel that Cuba has tried to reform itself a little bit so we need to reward the people for that. To Venezuela. President Maduro has the nation under martial law all the time. People are rioting over a slice of bread! Maduro is cracking down on anyone who opposes him. He manipulates the legal system, and the Parliament is fearing for its existence. It's time we force change there! As President, I will implore the UN, NATO, and the EU to intervene to restore democratic rule. I will slap him with trade sanctions. To the wars in Columbia and Mexico. I will intervene with airpower to allow the government forces to restore order and bring back peace to Latin America. I will also bring the Mexicans into NATO. I will discuss more later, seeing as we are out of time. Thank you Iowa! Good Night!

[Emiratistan]

Razorback Stadium, Fayettville Arkansas.

U.S. Representative Henry Hutchinson from Arkansas' fourth Congressional District, stood before a crowed of 20,000 Arkansans, most were attending the nearby University of Arkansas, others were older supporters of Hutchinson from areas throughout Arkansas, some just came to see the Representative as he was very well known throughout the nation, commonly appearing on FOX and CNN. He walked to the center of the field as the crowd cheered. When he got the podium he cleared his throat, then started to speak.

"Hello Northwest Arkansas! Most of you know who I am, for those who don't know, or didn't read what the big screen back their says, I am Congressman Henry Hutchinson." The crowd laughed. "But anyways, I don't want to get into a big spheel me, I want to talk about the future of our nation, the great United States of America. For many years now, even before I myself was born, our country has been trough years of despair, corruption, and awful leadership. Out nation is being destroyed by this. It is not the country many of our ancestors came to in seek of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Is certainly not the country my Grandparents sailed to anymore."

"We need to fix this. That's why i'll be seeking the Republican nomination for President!"

"If i'm your next President we will crack down on illegal immigration! If i'm your next President we will destroy ISIS! If i'm your next President we will balance the budget! If i'm your next President we will fix our economy and bring jobs back to the states! If i'm your next President we will fix America!"

"Therefore, I hope every single one of you vote for me in the upcoming primaries, and after that the, general election! I will certainly be back in Arkansas in the upcoming months. God bless all of you, and God bless America!"

[Jovuistan]

Shelbyville, Tennessee

The Stadium was packed with at least a thousand citizens, all cheering wildly. They were here for one man, a man who had worked hard for them, six years running. William Mullins, Representative of Tennessee's 4th district, muttered over the transcript of his speech, trying his hardest to keep it memorized.

After his third re-reading, he was gently tapped on the shoulder by his own Campaign Manager, Henry Grey, "It's time to begin, William," he said calmly. Mullins took a deep breath, skimmed over his notes one more time, grabbed a Microphone off of the table, and walked out onto the field.

The crowd was in an absolute uproar, chanting the name of their hero. Cameras were pointing from every direction, Journalists were writing down everything on slips of paper.

Mullins waved to his legion of supporters, it felt good to know how popular he was in the state. Putting the Microphone he was holding up to his mouth, he began to speak.

"Hello, Shelbyville! Hello, Tennessee! Hello, America!" The cheers were so loud that it was impossible to hear anything else. Mullins smiled, and when the applause died down, he continued.

"It has been a great honor to serve the citizens of this great nation, and to represent such a beautiful region! The Founding Fathers created America in the hopes of a brighter future. They created America with the vision of state's rights, civil rights, and worker's rights.

"Unfortunately, today in America, that vision is under assault. It is being destroyed by the federal bureaucrats, who believe that to solve America's problems, we need to waste government funds, steal money from everyday Americans through high taxes, and create a quite frankly horrifying debt crisis!

"Every cycle, so-called Conservatives claim that if elected, they will work to stop this corruption, but when they win the hearts of the people, they immediately turn around and help the bureaucrats!

"We need someone who can lead our great nation, end this irresponsible government spending, lift the burden on small businesses, and achieve the vision of the Fathers! I believe that I am that leader, and I have decided that I will be seeking the Republican nomination for President of the United States!" His supporters went absolutely wild, chanting 'Mullins! Mullins!' for nearly a minute, before he signaled them to quiet down.

"Firstly, we need to end spending on unconstitutional bureaus, such as the IRS, which continues to rob poor Americans of their deserved earnings! We will abolish the Department of Education, bring our schooling back to the States, and allow private education to prosper! We shall eliminate the Departments of Commerce and Energy, lifting the burden on businesses, and allowing them to innovate and compete! And let me be clear when I say that Planned Parenthood will be defunded!

"Our national debt is at its highest since the early 1950s, and there is no reason for us to waste even more government funds on what should be left up to the States! We will reduce the size of government, and use the billions of dollars saved to cut down the national debt! We also need a permanent solution to prevent deficit from getting so dangerously high, and I have that solution, we must have a Balanced Budget Amendment! I plan on introducing one soon, but when I am elected, I guarantee you that there will be an Amendment to prevent further debt growth! We will stop the debt crisis!" His message clearly resonated, as the Stadium was filled with cheers and applause.

"When I am President, we will repeal the regulations that have strained small businesses. Over-regulation has been a major incentive for companies to move overseas, resulting in thousands of layoffs, and a faltering GDP! Once regulations like Dodd-Frank are repealed, foreign companies will be given incentive to invest in and even move to the United States, reducing unemployment, and rebuilding our economy!

"This brings me to the issue of tax rates. Today, Americans are outrageously over-taxed! We are not only giving corporations more reason to leave in favor of Mexico or Japan, but we are also harming poor Americans, who struggle to make a living as is! We are going to completely end these abnormal methods of taxation, and introduce a new system of tax! We are going to have a Flat Tax! This method of taxation has worked very well in Russia, the Baltics, and all of Eastern Europe. As President I will work with Congress to completely eliminate deductions, and abolish unconstitutional taxes on the federal level like the Capital Gains Tax!

"We need to hold the Fed accountable for who it gives its money to. Allowing the Fed to secretly give handouts to whoever they feel like has been a major driving force of income inequality in this country, as it continues to loan money to establishment bureaucrats, and leaves poor and middle-class citizens to fail, by raising inflation on important financial assets they need. We will extend the audit on the Federal Reserve to their operations, their agreements, among others, to ensure that they are not scamming the American people. If they are committing deliberate negligence against everyday Americans, we will immediately open an investigation against the governors, and let me tell you, they will be convicted.

"Of course, there are many other issues that need to be addressed, and there is much more to my policies than what I have stated today. If it's election day, and you're still wondering who to vote for, think about who has actually worked to stop big, wasteful government. Think about who has fought against the politicians in support of state's rights, civil rights, and worker's rights. Think about who will fight for the Founders' vision. I will fight for you, we will strive for a better America, we will show the Washington bureaucrats the power of the American people! God bless the United States of America!"

The crowd erupted with cheers as Mullins waved back. The Congressman walked off of the stage, he was approached by his Campaign Manager, "Well, did you enjoy it, Bill?"

Mullins smirked back, "Naturally. So, where do you think we should stop first? Should we go to Iowa right away, or maybe go somewhere else for long term gain?"

Grey responded, "The Republican Iowa debate is going to start soon, so I think we should head over to Iowa, maybe do a few extra rallies, talk to potential endorsers and donors, before heading over to 'warzone' as I like to call it,"

"Right, then," Mullins let his mind drift for a moment, before remembering something important, "I would also like to get in contact with someone, I believe his name is Jack Anderson,"

Grey looked at his curiously, "You mean the Governor of Arizona? Sure, I'll go find his number..." He ran off for awhile, but eventually returned with a small note with a phone number written on it, "Here, I've written it down for future reference," Henry allowed his candidate to take the piece of paper.

Mullins consistently looked over between the writing on the paper and the numbers he was dialing on his Phone. Once he had pressed the last button, he had initiated the call. He put the device up to his ear, hoping he got the correct number, and that the Governor would pick up.

[The Portland Territory]

Outside the Rhode Island Senate House, 2,000 people wait looking towards it's steps. There is no music, nor no noise in general with the exception of a few chatters amongst the patient populace. Then, Senator Egazarian walks out to the podium. The crowd claps as he walks out and many local news outlets and a few national outlets focus their cameras on him. He clears his throat and begins his speech.

Hello Providence, hello Rhode Island. Tonight is a special day for the future of our state, and our country. As my time as Senator in our own Senate, I led Republicans and others to help pass laws that in the end, helped grow our economy and industry. Laws such as lowering corporate taxes, reducing regulations on most industries, lowering the state income tax, and allowing our fishing industries to expand. I have even pushed for less gun control in our state and have supported gay marriage for much time now. And guess what? Rhode Island has become one of America's great states as we enjoy an economic expansion. But I could not have done that without the support of many republicans, independents, and even democrats in our Senate. None of this would have happened without their support. But now, I need your support, as I am announcing my candidacy for the presidency.

*the crowd began to cheer as the attendees heard of his announcement*

Together, we will fix America and work with all politicians, regardless of political ideology, to do so. We must end this polarization of politics. Because if we don't, then our country will only go into more debt, it's economy will crumble more, and our jobs will continue to be sent overseas. And because of these reasons, I have the feeling that someone must do something about it proactively and effectively. And many people have said that I am the man for the job.

*the crowd began to cheer again*

I know what it is like to be poor and I worked my ass off to climb out of poverty for my family. And you know what, I worked hard and I did it. I will do likewise for this country because America deserves better!

*the crowd began to fiercely cheer as some chanted "Farmer Matt" *

Thank you for this support. Together, we will show this country that Rhode Island is not just a small, insignificant state. We are a great state that has done great things. And as the country sees our accomplishments, they will begin to realize that we need a leader who can do likewise for America!

*the crowd continues to cheer*

I'd like to thank you again for supporting me in my candidacy and together, we will build America!

*Egazarian walked off the podium as he waved to the cheering crowd*

[The Portland Territory]

The time is now to stop America's rising debt. The time is now to halt the migration of jobs to other countries. The time is now to Amend America and vote Egazarian for president! As Senator of Rhode Island and a popular politician in the Ocean State, Egazarian pushed for many bipartisan bills which after their legislation, made Rhode Island great again. We need the same kind of leadership in Washington, and the best man for the job is Matteos Egazarian!

paid for by FM Alliance

[Hrvatska-Dalmacija]

Iowa.
I'm going to make this shorter than Johnson short. I am dropping out of the race.

[Bolovia]

Union Square, San Francisco, California
This was it, the big day. Gonzalez paced ably behind the curtain, listening to the glee's of the crowd and the pop music that was playing to fit the occasion. He recited his speech and waited, recited and waited, and again recited and waited. He did this for half an hour; his nerves were fresh, but his enthusiasm could not be contained. This is it, he thought. His manager handed him a bottle of water,
Drink up, and stay cool, calm, and collected. Gotta remember that these people are here to see you, they're gonna overall approve of your message and support your run Eric. Speak slowly, you tend to jumble up your words when you speak fast.
Gonzalez gave him a slightly dirty look.
Just saying.
Gonzalez chugged the whole bottle of water and threw the bottle at his manager,
Get the hell out of here John, hey we still gonna buy a few rounds after this?
He nodded.

Gonzalez took a few deep breaths while his manager did the opening, Gonzalez's wife came over, calmed him down and have him a peck on the cheek. He paced some more and then heard the words,
And please welcome the next President of the United States of America, Eric Gonzalez!

The crowd roared.

How are we doing tonight, the City by the Bay? , the crowd cheered louder.
We live in the midst of the greatest age ever to behold mankind, a great time to be alive, a great time to be American! We are the land of freedom and opportunity, the home of the brave, the American Dream is alive. The idea that people from other walks of life would risk everything to become American supports this notion, immigrants coming to this country can attest to that statement. The fact of the matter is that there is no other county on earth like the United States.

However, the idea of America is under attack, we as a nation and as a people are constantly under assault from a world that doesn't approve of our way life, because we challenge their perception. ISIS, Al-Queda, Russia, China, North Korea, these nations want to see America falter. The previous administration has done nothing to repair our image, has only allowed American interest to be walked all over on, the symbol of the American flag neither strikes fear nor respect
in the heats or minds of our enemies. Our foreign policy is a disaster , the previous Democratic administration has worsened our relations around the globe. Our allies don't trust us and our enemies don't fear us. This needs to change because our president has tried to pander to everyone, putting other countries interest before ours, us Americans.

Our economy is in shambles, every fiscal quarter has experienced less growth than the one before. Sure we have more jobs than 2008, but these are nothing more than part-time jobs. Many Americans are clinging to multiple part-time jobs in an effort to compensate for a full time job, this should never be the case. A mother working 3-4 shifts a day, struggling to put food on the table, a father working over-time everyday to pay for heat and water. The Reagan standard comes to mind, are our children better off than we were? Honestly, I can't look anyone in the face and give them a solid answer anymore.

Because parents are struggling for work and pay, the government feels the need to levy even more taxes on struggling families. The middle class has not seen a raise in over 40 years, leading to a shrinking middle class. Jobs are moving overseas because of negligent trade deals, increasing taxes discouraging entrepreneurs and business owners from hiring or investing in America. We have to face the music that these American brands and large corporations have no loyalty to the American people anymore, only loyal to profit. They refuse to invest in the America, invest in the middle class;we need end corporate subsidies and lower the corporate tax rate to make America appealing once more. We need to bring jobs back to our stores, truth is those high skilled jobs aren't coming back anytime soon unless we make a difference now!

It's time we stand up to the Washington cartel and reclaim our voice, we need to be heard once again and scream AMERICA FIRST! Our interests and our people come first in any decision our lawmakers and leaders make, the American people have been neglected and our interests abused. America First in every national decision, it's time that we fix our problems instead of worrying about the problems of others. The world is safe when America is strong! America First! In every decision to come, that is why I'm running for President of the United States to make America First again, in everything! It's time we reclaim prestige, to fix our ailments, to stimulate the American Dream and to make America First in everything! And we will do it, this is the beginning of a movement, and when we win the White House, America will be First! , the crowd went wild. Gonzalez smiled and waved and his family joined him on stage, his wife and 3 sons. He tried to portray the model family.

(OOC: Sorry for the ugly drawing, and recycled post. Needed a quick entrance into the race. I promise everything from here on out will be fresh material.)

[Bolovia]

Rally in Burlingame California
After Gonzalez made his entrance speech in Union Square, his bus quickly sped off to their first event in Burlingame some 20 minutes north of San Francisco. His campaign manager had setup plenty of stops throughout California, but the primary focus for the time being would be the bay area then southern California. The strategy would be to hit on all cylinders throughout California to have a nice fall back plan should the primary not workout in Gonzalez's favor. He fixed his tie, downed a glass of water, and entered the applaud of cheers.


How are we doing this evening Burlingame?, the crowd entered a thunderous roar, It warms my heart to see so many concerned Americans. The State of the Union is in bad shape my friends. We have a negligent administration whose socialist policies are proven not to work, we have an unsecured border where drugs flow freely because of the amnesty program, an increasing debt with a shrinking middle class, and jobs moving overseas leaving Americans unemployed. The bubble is waiting to burst, and when it does every American will feel the consequences of it. We will end the backtracking in Washington and clear the sludge, to finally put Americans First! Our national policy makers benefit from the gridlock, the stalemate, there is more profit to be made in a state of limbo rather than a state of progress.

First off we will end these socialist policies that are placing significant burden on an already struggling middle class. Increasing taxes will not solve our problems, when we raise taxes we kill jobs! When you have a mentality where increasing taxes will solve the problem, you are only setting the nation up for failure. We have to face the music folks, a single payer healthcare system just doesn't work for a nation with 320 plus million people, we are not Denmark, we are not Norway, we are not Sweden! This is America! We are Americans! These policies simply do not work with a population as large as us and as diverse as us. Its common sense really, these policies this President has instated are dragging this country down! These socialist policies are trying to make this country something it isn't: A country that is like the rest of the world! We are not the rest of the world! , the crowd erupted into a massive applause. Many America First signs waving and miniature American flags patriotically and fervently being waved throughout the crowd.

A problem we must face in this country is a problem all well to known by most of us, a problem rooted in many families in America where we see our loved ones become the afflicted. And that is our inherent drug crisis, we all can agree that our war on drugs has been a blunder and a failure. Drugs still pour across and unpatrolled and uncontrolled border, its like the wild wild west on our southern border where the cartels have laid claim to. Our current President refuses to let our border patrol do its job, these men have been given orders not to apprehend or curtail illegal immigration and are ordered to look the other way. There is a fix to this, to stop illegal immigration totally in its tracks and stop these people from employing smugglers and traffickers to get them across; and this is an ease to the path of citizenship. Now I'm not saying relax our border, but what I am saying is that the illegal immigrants we have now should have an easier path to citizenship. Truth is we can't take anymore illegal immigrants with an imploding system, why should illegal immigrants be given the same privileges Americans have? This is an issue we must address, we will secure our borders to stop the flow of drugs and stop the flow of illegal immigrants who we can't take care of. How can we take care of citizens of another country when can barely take care of our own? It's time we put Americans First! And I mean all Americans, African-Americans, White-Americans, Mexican-Americans, All-Americans! , the crowd repeatably entered a thunderous applause throughout the stadium.


However, there is another group of Americans that are taking a major hit because of the backtracking in Washington, the idlness of a socialist Presidency, and that is the largest group of them all where every walks of life can be seen in this group. The Middle Class is taking the brunt of everything, from socialized medicine, to increasing welfare benefits, to housing foreclosures and record high taxes. The middle class is the American Dream, where a family of 4, 6, 8, can live comfortably but crippling taxes and a mounting debt threaten that dream of stability. The economy does best when the middle class does best and right now the middle class is not doing its best. People are afraid of the banks, they are afraid to spend what little money they earn, there is no sense of security. I will bring back that sense of security, the sense of reassurance. We are in a state of limbo, and the saying holds true where tomorrow isn't promised today. One day a mother and father can have their jobs and the next day they are unemployed, one day a family can be insured and the next day they can all lose coverage, one day a family can own a home and the next day they are living on the streets. This is a reality in todays America, no sense of security, no sense of reassurance. We are going to bring that all back. And we will do this through bringing common sense back to Washington, by lowering taxes to give families the money they earn and so desperately need. Lowering taxes, incentivizing business, and bringing jobs back to our shores., many in the audience jeered at this gesture.

Ours is more than a campaign, we are a movement, a movement of concerned and compassionate Americans. The only thing that conquers hate is love, and we are full of it. Full of love for our country and everyone in it, Democrat or Republican, White,Black,or Brown, old or young, we all have one thing in common: we are all Americans! And its time that we put Americans First! God bless you all and God bless the United States of America!, the crowd went wild, Gonzalez smiled that good ol'politician smile. Waving valiantly and blowing kisses, he went down to the crowd to shake hands, take selfies and posted on twitter and instagram.

[Bolovia]

Rally in San Carlos,California
This would be the final stop for the night in the bay area region. Gonzalez had significant name recognition already established in the region, given the large turnout to the rallies so far. His campaign manager was ready to release an ad throughout the state and had 2 rallies slotted in SoCal for the next day, then turning there eyes to Silicon Valley. California not only held the most delegates both in the primaries and general but it had a significant war chest, something Gonzalez could tap into rather easily since it was his home state. He kissed his wife, downed a glass of water, and combed his hair again. He walked out to the song "Clap for me" by logic and to the ovation from the crowd.



How are we doing this evening San Carlos?!, the crowd responded with a massive applause, Its very reassuring to see this many concerned and compassionate Americans, who care so deeply for this country and the direction it is heading in. We face many obstacles, many challenges, many hardships, but we are resilient as Americans. There is no obstacle too big to overcome, no challenge to hard to endure, but right now we have come to an impasse. We have an idle President, an ineffective Congress, and believe me when I say its ineffective I've seen some great bill, bills I have and are still willing to sponsor be shutdown because it was authored by a Republican or Democrat. We have become too divided in our nation, and as Abraham Lincoln said " A House Divided cannot stand." We forgot our national identity, we have become bliss to the fact that we are all in the same boat. There is no you and me, there is us. Love thy neighbor, Jesus taught us that and if you don't believe in religion that is still a good rule of thumb. We have an idle President compounded with an ineffective Congress, unemployment through the roof, an imploding medical system, a sluggish educational system. So many problems and no unified solution, you know why? Because we are divided!

The other day I met this single mom at a local diner, Millie's many of you know the place, and she's working double shifts just to make ends meet. She has to work doubles shifts and in two part-time jobs just to compensate for a full-time job, she has 3 kids and stays in a two bedroom apartment. Many,many families are in the same boat. You know why, because taxes are increasing, rent is increasing, the cost of living is becoming a crisis. Many do not even have a job and rely on the overwhelmed welfare system. We are not a welfare state! This country was founded on the idea of hard work, you keep your earn. You are entitled to nothing but what the constitution gives you, your rights, the amendments.We are raising a generation that feels entitled to everything without lifting a finger for it. We will instill in our children the value and virtue of hard work, of effort and diligence. We will bring jobs back to our shores, incentivizing business is key, not subsidizing it. , many in the crowd nodded.

Unemployment is defeated with employment, and the only way jobs are created is through business both big and small. Lowering taxes for small businesses and giving them tax credits will only allow them to grow and expand, we will end subsidies to big business and substitute it with tax credits. Because lets be real, these large corporations have no loyalty to the American people anymore. Business is not appealing in America anymore, China exports goods to us from American corporations. Lowering taxes for business in general will create a pro-business America, an appealing America where entrepreneurs thrive and the employed are given a wage to sustain and grow their families. Businesses creates jobs, not government. We will apply common sense regulation, not excessive. When our President raises taxes he has to realize that he isn't taxing Drumpf, he is taxing all those small businesses. And when he raises taxes he kills jobs! , the crowd boo'd at this, hissing and slugging out hate speech.

Healthcare in this country is in the toilet, it's heinous, atrocious. Many people have to pay and arm and a leg just to survive with their conditions. Medicare is a great idea on paper, a good fall back plan but not to live on for the rest of your life. It's a pick me up program not lifelong sustained insurance. Healthcare is not a God-given right, it is far from an entitlement. It's a privilege you earn through hardwork. As President I will trim the fat off medicare, eliminating the some funding to it, and taking that funding to give back to Americans. Medicare is the single largest budget we have currently, it drains a trillion dollars a year. That is a number that needs to change because we have so many insurance companies that offer personalized plans, it is not the job of the state to provide healthcare for citizens on a prolonged basis. A single payer healthcare system simply does not work for a country of our caliber. I want to tear out Americans the idea that we are a welfare entitlement state. The only thing Americans are entitled to are your constitutional rights, Americans are entitled to their constitutional rights. No citizens from any other country, in fact you know what happens if you illegally enter another country. I'll tell you your not covered by insurance or obtain a license or indulge in the education system there, there is no amnesty program in any other country. So many in America want us to be like other countries, well we'll have to eliminate the amnesty program then too if they want us to be like other countries. The hypocrisy of the left at is finest., many in the crowd shouting hateful slurs at the left wing as Gonzalez says this.

I wanna take this time to mention how crowded this Republican field its ridiculous. You have many interesting characters but there is one who stands out to me, and I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. The man who condescends Mexicans, Muslims, every other color but himself. He's a bastard, I'm Mexican I take offense. Its not PC Bastard Drumpf to call someone racist, if they're racist they're racist. There is no in between,[i]Hijo de puta madre/i], many Mexicans and spanish speakers in the crowd go wild.

Bastard Drumpf, my nickname for him. Lets get down to the issues shall we, not blast other people. I apologize for that but I couldn't hold back, we will bring jobs back to our shores, lower taxes for the middle class, and put the interests of Americans First! In the end were all in the same boat, rich or poor, no matter what color you are, or gender, or sexuality, I'm here to serve all of you and I have been for the past 6 years and will continue to do so for the nation. I will put America First in every decision I make, and together we will Make America First! God bless you all and God bless these United States of America! , the crowd erupted into a major applause.



First Ad aired all throughout the State of California:



With Unemployment increasing.



Jobs moving overseas.



A shrinking middle class bearing the weight of increasing and crippling taxes.



Many Americans are uncertain of the future, no job security, and no promise of tomorrow today.



Eric Gonzalez is a man who will fight for you rights, your liberty, fighting to restore your sense of security, and reassuring you of a better tomorrow.



Join our movement, of concerned and compassionate patriotic Americans and put a caring American in office to steer this country in the right direction and end the backtracking in Washington. Vote for Eric Gonzalez, a true concerned and compassionate American.



Hi, I'm Eric Gonzalez and I approve of this message.