Gods Among Us V4.0 [Superhero] (OOC|OPEN)

[Kormanthor]

Ok I apoogize

[Primordial Luxa]

Ok I apoogize

No problem. Thanks for understanding.

[The Flutterlands]

going to try to make something over the weekend.

[The V O I D]

Now that I don't have college in the way, I can finally finish my post. Hoping someone will be able to interact.

[Kormanthor]

Here is the Reworked Proposed Character

[spoiler=]

Gods Among Us
Character Application



Character Description:


Given Name: Danielle Tay

Alternate Identities:

Hero: The She Bat

Gender: Female

Age: 29

Species: Human

Appearance: Long Light Brown Hair, Dark Brown Eyes, 5'10" Tall, 160 lbs, Athletic Femininely Muscular Build.]

Characters Biggest Strength: (Not just a power please)
Her Massive Determination to fight Crime

Characters Biggest Weakness: (not just related to a power lease)

Her psionics only work for 15 minutes at a time, for every 6 hour period.

Motivations and Desires

To Help the Good People and make a Better World for them

Primary Goal: (What does this character want most in life. Make it specific)

To realize her highest potential, to use all her skills to there fullest potential to change the world for the better.

Secondary Goal: (What are the smaller steps on the way to this characters primary goal? What must be accomplished first in order to see it realized.)

The use of a portion of her wealth to obtain the years of training she now has and building her arsenal of weapons that she will use in her quest against Crime.

Fears: What are the visceral, psychological, regrets and existential fears of your character. What makes them flee in terror or freeze in panic. Not what makes them angry and encourages, what makes them RUN!

A threat she can not touch or successfully fight or defeat.


Powers


Primary Source of Powers:

Meta-Gene, C-Cells,
Technology,
Magic,
Skill and Training,
Species Traits,
or something else

Power 1:

1). Minor Psionic Abilities

a). Danger Sense; Sense against traps or surprises.
b). Catfall: instantly save yourself from a fall
c). Chameleon: You can conceal yourself from enemies by blending into the background.
d). Burst: You gain a Burst of of Speed [ Three times your normal speed ]

2). Skills, Training and specially designed equipment.
a). Aikido Skills
b). Kick Boxing Skills

Effects: What does the power do and how does it do it?
Please make reference to Range, Speed and/or Mass:
Ranged Attacks vary with the weapon she is using at any given time.
Her best speed is when using her " Burst " Psionics.
Effective defense against massive enemies would be accomplished by the use of her Burst Ability, successful Aikido / Kick Boxer Attacks, and her Acrobatic Skills.

Weaknesses: What counters the power? Stops it dead in it’s tracks or causes it to fail? What limits the usage of the power? When can it not be used?

When she is Physically Fatigued.

[*]Power 2: Effects: What does the power do and how does it do it? Please make reference to Range, Speed and/or Mass:

Normal strong / above average human fighting ability and skills used with her equipment.

Weaknesses: What counters the power? Stops it dead in it’s tracks or causes it to fail?

Someone or something stronger, faster, or more skilled.

What limits the usage of the power? When can it not be used?

When she is to tired to go on.

Equipment: (What tools or equipment does this character possess that is noteworthy? If it provides them with a noticeable supernatural or obvious power that power must also be listed under power.)[/list]

1). The Bat Drone ( Volocopter-like / https://cdn1.img.sputniknews.com/images ... 710417.jpg )

2). The Bat Votol ( A Lilium-like vehicle / Lilium The World's First Electric Vertical Take Off And Landing Jet )

3). The Bat Micro Jet ( flsmicrojet.com )

4). Sky Diving Glide Suit ( https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/sear ... tion=click )

5). Military Grade / Tactical 12,000,000 volt stun baton and gun.

6). 2 Ninja Forearm Machete blades / one on each arm

7). Armored Gauntlets

. Retractable Boot Blades and steel toes

9). Light Body Armor


Background

Occupation: (How do they get money for houses, food and guns?)

She owns an Electronics Manufacturing Company / Tay Electronics

Training and Education: (Where did they go to school and learn what they know now.)

She earned a 7th degree blackbelt in Aikido, and kick boxing at a school in her hometown. She is ex military, the Marines Special Forces is where is learned sky diving and glide suit useage.

Things any characters might know about them: (Things a quick google search would reveal)

Things known about Danielle Tay; That she owns Tay Electronics, and is wealthy because of it.
Things known about The She Bat: That she is a well trained vigilate that strikes fear into the hearts of criminals.

Group Affiliations:

(Who are they loyal to?

Her Marine Military Unit Members ( The Flying Tigers ) & her Family

What clubs do they owe allegiance?

Her Aikido Dojo and Kick Boxing Club

Who do they consider master?)

Her Aikido and Kick Boxing Instructors


History and Bibliography: (How did it all come to this?)[/list]

She grew up in a small town, attended college after high school, moved to the city after a eight year hitch in the Marine Special Forces and Started Tay Electronics while developing The She Bat persona. Built her Mansion on the cliff and started her nightly patrols as The She Bat.


Summary: (1-5 words that sum up the whole character)
[/spoiler]

The Flying Ninja Vigilante

Organization Name


A Dying Billionaire who's son the Flying Tigers broke out of a Foreign Prison
donated the $100,000,000 to the team after they left the Military to help defend the Country.

[Primordial Luxa]

Snip

There seems to be some minor formatting issue which makes it a bit hard to read but I will do my best to provide some feedback. I would make sure you go back and look at rewriting it so it’s a bit more legible.

In general, I think the tech should be brought down a bit. All those vehicles are cool but I think you should have one or maybe two at most. I would also like to know more about them, the pictures are dead links, so I have no idea what you have in mind. Do they have weapons?

Your powers need to be explained further, I can see what many of them do but how do they do it and please go further into their weakness. Thing like the fact that Burst increases her speed but not her reaction time is a good start but none of these stand out as too OP.

Another thing to keep in mind here is that vigilantism in our setting is much more heavily censored than other settings so a character like this should expect a fair deal of resistance from local authorities.

I would start with those things. It’s a bit hard with the formatting to fully understand all the details so I’ll apologize if I missed or misinterpreted something. I recommend looking at some other apps to see how they tend to look for a bit of helpful advice. Here are some of mine which might be useful.

viewtopic.php?f=31&t=380514#p28994408

[Primordial Luxa]

In the School I am waiting on Irhk, Charmera, Flutter and Serah. Let me know if you need a hand with anything.

In the City I am waiting on Atria with Jack, Dyelli with Ris, Personal Freedom with the Huntsman, Bakra with their characters and CIS with the Revenant.

If people don't get posts up either OOC or IC letting me know about stuff i'll start sending out TG's.

I know for many people school has started and I can sympathize but I do want to make sure this doesn't fall under the radar.

Atria has a big treat in store for us and I want to make sure were in a good place to enjoy it.

[Remnants of Exilvania]

In the School I am waiting on Irhk, Charmera, Flutter and Serah. Let me know if you need a hand with anything.

In the City I am waiting on Atria with Jack, Dyelli with Ris, Personal Freedom with the Huntsman, Bakra with their characters and CIS with the Revenant.

I'm just waiting on Serah.

[Kormanthor]

I was up to 2:30 am this morning rewriting this character. And added a lot of information. Beyond that, this character is a wealthy character so I don't understand why she can't have more then one or two vehicles. Batman has had more then one vehicle over the years, and he is who I based this character on. Concerning weapons on the vehicles they might have some type of defensive armor and weapons I hadn't really thought about that. What they would have to have is an AI to control them, or some type of remote control by Shebat after she has left the vehicle, being that she might need to use one of them as a airborne platform that she could launch a stealthy surprise visit to any certain location in the city like Batman did in Tokyo jumping off of tall buildings. As far as the links, I checked them out myself numerous times and they worked for me. The one was originally in German, but all you have to do is press on the product key and it changes to English. I worked very hard on this character. Further the tech I gave her is all canon modern tech equipment, which she can easily afford being a wealthy person. I'm not sure what the formating issues are that you spoke of. The psionics descriptions I looked up online and copied, compared to most of the rest of the psionics that is available hers are pretty low key. In her original form, She Bat is much more powerful then this version of her. I have already toned her powers way down. I would like to have a character that is capable of taking down criminals that might have her outgunned in the first place. I tried to make her a character you would except. Please give me a detailed list of what changes you are proposing.

Thanks

Kormanthor

[Primordial Luxa]

I was up to 2:30 am this morning rewriting this character. And added a lot of information. Beyond that, this character is a wealthy character so I don't understand why she can't have more then one vehicle. Batman has had more then one vehicle over the years, and he is who I based this character on. As far as the links, I checked them out myself numerous times and they worked for me. The one was originally in German, but all you have to do is press on the product key and it changes to English. I worked very hard on this character. Further the tech I gave her is all canon modern tech equipment, which she can easily afford being a wealthy person. I'm not sure what the formating issues are that you spoke of.

Your links appear like this.

https://cdn1.img.sputniknews.com/images ... 710417.jpg

Notice the "..." thats because the link is incomplete and their is missing text which sends me to a google chrome error.

Gods Among Us
Character Application

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Character Description

Given Name: Sydney Petal
Alternate Identities: Calamity Rose
Gender: Female
Age: 43
Species: Human
Apperance: Pic
Characters Biggest Strength: Master of directing meta-humans in combat situations.
Characters Biggest Weakness: Unreliable power-set focused only on destruction with no ability to protect others or provide utility benefits.

Motivations and Desires

Primary Goal: Stop the Hue from killing anyone innocent
Secondary Goal: Maintain a steady supply of criminals to feed the Hue, ally with scientists to study and possible damage the Hue,
Fears: Seeing that she has hurt innocents or realizing that the Hue will never stop even after she is dead.

Powers

Primary Source of Powers: Alien Parasite and Technology

• Power 1: MRA (Microorganism Resistance Armor)
  Effects: A hyper advanced hazmat suit designed for combat environments. Provides total protection from radiological, chemical and biological agents with a system of filters and an electromagnetic manipulation field. The suit is incredibly strong and durable allowing Calamity to lift cars with minor difficulty and turn aside all but the most persistent firepower. It has an advanced HUD and possesses the ability to hover and ascend into the air quickly.
  
  Weakness: The suit can handle about 3 artillery shells before failing. The suit cannot properly fly, it merely ascends and moves in a very limited fashion, allowing for slow transportation that would be laughable next to a dedicated flyer. The suite has a large energy output easily detectable.
• Power 2: The Hue
  Effects: The Hue is a living alien haze which orbits and remains with Calamity she has the limited ability to guide and shape it. It is totally insubstantial and invulnerable. She can direct it to specific targets with concentration or let it expand to its normal size of several hundred meters in diameter. When concentrated the Hue’s effects are very more intense and powerful it can easily disintegrate a human in second and melt a tank into slag in a matter of minutes. But when dispersed the Hue is much weaker and acts slower when it is allowed to cover large areas. When dispersed the effects can take weeks to manifest or cause serious damage. The effects work on all kinds of matter, organic, inorganic, living and not-living. There is also a mental component and those effect for long periods of time will go hopelessly insane.
  
  Weaknesses: Magical wards offer protection, Hue is repelled by specific electromagnetic signals and will avoid them although they do not actually harm it, if the Hue has not fed recently then it defaults to a dispersed mode and will not be controllable until it has sucked up a sufficient amount of life. Supernatural endurance will provide additional protection but only for a short amount of time against a concentrated attack, it will make one immune from a dispersed attack.
  Equipment: MRA, Assault Rifle,

Background

Occupation: Knights of America
Training and Education: Doctorate of Medicine from Harvard, CDC first responder in Africa and Asia, Knights military grade training,
Things any characters might know about them: Founding Member of the Knights of America, has the ability to decay matter, based in New York.
Group Affiliations: Knights of America
History and Bibliography: Growing up in a fairly traditional home in a fairly traditional American suburb, no one would have picked Sydney Rose as a potential hero. Her only real defining moment was watching one of her best friend’s waste away to Cancer at an early age. She was average yet hardworking, but a scholarship to MIT allowed her to chase her dreams of fighting diseases like those that had ravaged her friend. It wasn’t long before Sydney joined the CDC as a first responder.

As a government agent working for the CDC she was assigned to the new division which handled field research on metaphysical anomalies. She worked to stop meta-human diseases and magical ailments whenever they showed up with a specialized hazmat suit called the MRA. She was in the Congo when the Meta-Ebola Plague occurred and was present on the battlelines in France when the Black-Plague mutated into the Obsidian-Plague.

In 2000 however, Sydney went to investigate a strange meteorite which was causing decay and radiation sickness around Florida. When Sydney and her team arrived, they discovered that the space rock was exuding an unnatural dye which seemed to infect the surrounding town, causing things to rapidly grow and mutate before falling apart in gray ash. Sydney and her team quickly quarantined the area and with the help of DARPA, the Army and the Agency they were able to slow down the spreading infection, soon afterward it disappeared flying back into the night sky. However, the Hue, as the dye came to be known, left behind a part of itself which bound to the MRA Sydney wore. This boosted the suits power levels to new heights but caused Sydney to need to devour the energy to keep the Hue satisfied.

For years the CDC hoarded her as their personnel superhero, fighting with DARPA, the military and others who wanted the newly christened Calamity Rose as their own. Fighting against both diseases and meta-physical threats Calamity spent four more years preventing corruption and invasive effects before meeting up with the other founding Knights at Serpents Mound. Together she struck out on her own and joined the Knights much to the displease of the CDC.

With the Knights she has found a group that will keep her safe and alive. As the Hue grew it tired to eat more and more, but with the Knight more brutal tactics she has a way to feed it and avoid it turning on her. In addition she quickly found herself amassing power and becoming a leader of one of the most powerful organizations on the planet.

Summary: Alien Possessed Knight Leader

This is a properly formatted app. Notice how it is spoilered. Titles are bolded. The text in () is removed. The bullet points make it easy to see the different powers.
That is the formatting I am talking about. I cannot see where one power starts and another ends. I don't know if Catfall is a power on its own or a subset of Psionics.

Working hard on a character is a good thing but if that character doesn't work with the story and the thread then it doesn't matter. Hard work is an instant qualifier.

Batman is also one of the most powerful characters in all of fiction and is well above the power level of this thread. While your character doesn't approach that at all and is infinetely more balanced I still feel that having that many vehicles seem redundant. Partially from a plot, power and meta perspective, I would appreciate if you limited yourself to one or two.

[Kormanthor]

I will make one more attempt, I didn't have a picture of her. I know how I want her to look but the Illustration I had of her I no longer have. So I will look for a picture the might work and include it in this next attempt.

[Serah]

I'll get something up.
I just need some time, the week was more tiring than anticipated.

[Granis]

I'll be going somewhere with... Questionable... Internet access tomorrow, and I'll be staying for the next few days, so I might not be able to post until around the end of the week.

[The Flutterlands]

I am going to try posting today.

[Personal Freedom]

I completely forgot about Nationstates.

[Primordial Luxa]

As a heads up, we are going to start moving the Academy thread a bit more forcefully.

We have a lot of people not posting as often as we need and we have a lot of people stalling others.

We aren't going to let that continue.

My original plan was going to be to allow time to recuperate go on smaller missions and have a bit of fun, but I get the sense that people don't have the time and speed to keep the thread active enough if we do that. It took us a lot longer than I thought it would to get through the Death House. So we are going to move a bit faster now and have a few time skips.

Also those of you in the city with heroes. I would STRONGLY recommend you start thinking of either ways your hero would join the Knights or think up ideas for Knight characters. It will help up with things further down the line.

We know alot of your schedules have changed or shifted due to school starting and we are trying to alter the way the thread works to make it easier for you to be involved without it crossing wires. Few things are finalized but these things are likely to remain correct.

[The V O I D]

I am working on a post to interact with someone, it's just taking a bit longer than expected.

[Primordial Luxa]

I am working on a post to interact with someone, it's just taking a bit longer than expected.

No worries. let me know if you need a hand.

[The V O I D]

I am working on a post to interact with someone, it's just taking a bit longer than expected.

No worries. let me know if you need a hand.

I might have to if my post ends up not working out...

[The Republic of Atria]

No worries. let me know if you need a hand.

I might have to if my post ends up not working out...

Who are you trying to interact with?

[The V O I D]

I might have to if my post ends up not working out...

Who are you trying to interact with?

Generally, I'm trying to see who's open as I work on the intropost for my char. Not really sure if anyone is.

[The Republic of Atria]

Who are you trying to interact with?

Generally, I'm trying to see who's open as I work on the intropost for my char. Not really sure if anyone is.

Well, an AI restricted to only being able to acfess computers is going to find it pretty difficult to communicate with people who aren't at one ATM.

[Primordial Luxa]

Who are you trying to interact with?

Generally, I'm trying to see who's open as I work on the intropost for my char. Not really sure if anyone is.

NUMB is currently monitoring the city through his massive surveillance network. Perhaps he catches something suspicious? Look through my posts for the one featuring NUMB that might give you something to play with.

[The V O I D]

Generally, I'm trying to see who's open as I work on the intropost for my char. Not really sure if anyone is.

Well, an AI restricted to only being able to acfess computers is going to find it pretty difficult to communicate with people who aren't at one ATM.

I mean, she can access cellphone networks and spoof a phone and stuff... as that's networked stuff, easily accessed through satellites/the internet.

For example; skype, if you pay, lets you call regular phones from your skype account IIRC. Just as a single example. She can talk to people through various means, it is just that she is restricted in that she has no physical body and therefore relies upon her communications with others to try to make things happen, or convince others to do things for her.

Generally, I'm trying to see who's open as I work on the intropost for my char. Not really sure if anyone is.

NUMB is currently monitoring the city through his massive surveillance network. Perhaps he catches something suspicious? Look through my posts for the one featuring NUMB that might give you something to play with.

I'll look into that. Maybe NUMB can detect some of her software/code as it shifts its way into the city's networks, signalling that Alex is beginning to check out things in the city? I dunno, just an idea.

[Primordial Luxa]

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-----Part the First: Problems-----

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Boy howdy.
Alright so we (Dyelli, Atria and Myself) have been puzzling about ways to improve the thread. Obviously there is always room for improvement but we thought about solving a few key issues.

• People aren’t posting enough. We need a little bit more posting from people in general. Sometimes people have writers block, sometimes people have real life stuff and that is okay. This system should allow a few people to get bogged down without disrupting the whole thread. If a person is really suffering from writers block here is my tip. Write anyway. Doesn’t matter if it’s good. Doesn’t matter if its just having your character say a few words and nod, get something up, because we can alter the scene to give you something more.
  
• People aren’t posting in a way that moves things forward. It is perfectly fine to say in your post “As Balder and the other Knights moved into the other room to talk about their plan of attack” or “Imogen walked straight towards the castle and waved at the others to follow while she continued talking with Nevermore.” If people are standing around when there’s something they could be doing that’s a bit more engaging, move them. So long as you aren’t making leaps and do this in a way that implies people can still do things during the movement or cancel your minor god-mode then its fine. Basically you should feel free to enter rooms without being told you need to and its fine to bring people with you if it feels natural.
  
• People are actively engaging and promoting the story. Simply put we need more for people to do and I can’t be the only one doing it. Illumination, Slaggep, Vendetta, over ninety percent of characters are characters in my stories. We need more people making up villains, crimes and disasters that we all can engage in. Do you have a plan for a story or something we can do? Let us know we’d love to hear it.

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-----Part the Second: Solutions-----

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Our solutions are not simple. They took a large amount of back and forth, arguing, screaming and baking. As well as one or two blood sacrifices but we now believe we have a solution that should solve most of the problems for most of our players.

The First Thing, is that the school thread will be accelerated. The plan had been to give people down time between missions but we have decided this isn’t feasible given how long a single mission took. Therefore the pace will be increased. The following things NEED to happen sooner rather than later and we will post with them in mind.

• A team needs to go to the Russian Gulag and get the second journal.
• Brookes needs to get Space Mead. A potion that stop people from dying on other planets.
• A team needs to go to Venus and get the third journal from Archon’s palace.

After all that’s done it’s a simple matter of doing the spell, fighting the fight and hopefully not dying. After that the school will have a short management crisis but will be in a better place.

The Second Thing, is that the tone, scope and style of the city thread is changing. The City thread will no longer be a city thread, it will be the Knights and Freaks thread. The borders will change to include all of the North Eastern United States. Everything from Maine to just past DC will be fair game. See the picture for a good estimate.

The new thread will focus HEAVILY on the Knights of America and their exploits in the region. They are reorganizing so their will several teams operate will a larger scope. A regional team of about 5 people will hope around the entire area doing odd jobs. A team of 3 will be located in both NYC and Philadelphia and will specialize in protecting those cities because of their size and high villain populations. There will also be a reserve team based in Washington DC that will have a focus on political backdoor dealings and political security.

The Knights will be the primary way we manage players. You will likely get teamed up and go on structured missions, the key here is that the Knights allow us to have EPISODIC events. Short, fun and lively things that don’t drag. Missions will be short so there is not a huge commitment, (unless you and another person agree to make a long mission). I imagine the average mission will see two people paired up to solve a crime or track down a unique villain.

Because the Knights are now an integral part of the thread people need to have characters related to them so we can make interactions easier and better incorporate characters. Now I’m not saying you need to have all your characters be Knights, but it would certainly help if about half of your heroes were Knights. We are going to wrap a lot of characters up into the Knights, and we may introduce a way for solo-heroes to franchise with the Knights so they don’t get left out. The NYMD may be turned into the Knight NYC chapter for example.

MEANWHILE, there will also be a second group running around. The Gang of Freaks. Alice Dartwood is putting together a team to try and disrupted the Knights of America and the Superhero Military Complex they prop up. This will give us a venue to look at the seedier side of things. A team of rogues needing to duke it would with villains as well as heroes. They will act as rivals to the Knights. Dyelli is in charge of this sort of thing so it will be up to them to fill in people who are interested.

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-----Part the Third: Pop-quiz-----

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Think you can name all of the Knights of America in this picture? Can you put a picture to the names?