389th Orbital Police Corps [OOC] Still Accepting Apps

[Ontorisa]

I'm good man

Thanks anyways though.

Except....I'm a woman....

Haha, sorry force of habit. I tend to use man a lot.

I'll think about it

[Imperialisium]

You. You're one of my favorite people now.

We laugh at you're puny German forces.

Quality versus Quantity. The classic German vs Russian dilemma.

[Jeremy Beaver]

You. You're one of my favorite people now.

We laugh at you're puny German forces.

Those Russians in the picture are literally standing on the wing and jumping off.

Fuck yeah!

[Imperial--japan]

Tiggity tag, what's in the bag.

[Ulvenes]

You have to admit though that the taking of Fort Eben Emael was impressive.

Quality versus Quantity. The classic German vs Russian dilemma.

And American's believe in quality IN quantity.

[Zeinbrad]

The amount of fapping to Russians and Germans in this thread is too god damn high.

[Jeremy Beaver]

The amount of fapping to Russians and Germans in this thread is too god damn high.

Yeah you fire that Panzer IV's 75mm gun Oh yeah!

[Charmera]

Okay.
Do you want her to approach Franson or the other way around?
The latter would be easier for me...

Sorry, I just made an edit to my post.



MAJOR EDIT GUYS

Please look over the edit I made in my last post. Shit is really going down now, and Ruki's going to nip the insubordination in the ass once and for all.

I gave Sergeant Mclean and Lieutenant Yukiko direct orders to drag Mr. Smith back to the lounge. He directly disobeyed an order, tried to get around his punishment, and has definitely pissed the fuck out of Ruki.

And to Elijah's author, hopefully you do realize that what happens IC has no bearing on what I think of you OOC. We cool?

Question. Was the drag part of the orders suppose to be followed? Or was I just suppose to bring him to the Lounge?
Like, did I specifically have to drag him?
(This is why I could never be in the army, I have to have 100% clarification of my orders. )

[Ontorisa]

The amount of fapping to Russians and Germans in this thread is too god damn high.

Yeah you fire that Panzer IV's 75mm gun Oh yeah!

Oooh, you're coming from Finland?

Kinky, I love it.

[United Allied Earth Federation]

-

[Jeremy Beaver]

Yeah you fire that Panzer IV's 75mm gun Oh yeah!

Oooh, you're coming from Finland?

Kinky, I love it.

Its one of my only Passions in life.

[Isle of Lithonia]

Tiggity tag, what's in the bag.

OH MY GOD!!! IJ!!! MY LOVE IS HERE!!!!

I was wondering if you'd come. Hoorah, now we can get the crazy Ecchi Gang together!

[Zeinbrad]

We laugh at you're puny German forces.

Those Russians in the picture are literally standing on the wing and jumping off.

Fuck yeah!

Too bad the only reason they did that was because of technology reasons and not because of badassitude.

In fact, all the Spetsnaz backflip tomahawk stuff is just for show. They don't actually do that.

[Perestroikavo]

Quality versus Quantity. The classic German vs Russian dilemma.

It's funny, because that's rarely the dilemma. But I won't go into detail unless someone still argues that it is.

Also, don't make Khalid go ape on you IC.

[Jeremy Beaver]

Those Russians in the picture are literally standing on the wing and jumping off.

Fuck yeah!

Too bad the only reason they did that was because of technology reasons and not because of badassitude.

In fact, all the Spetsnaz backflip tomahawk stuff is just for show. They don't actually do that.

That is (Kind of) one of the reasons i chose being a Russian.

They are Bad ass

[Zeinbrad]

Too bad the only reason they did that was because of technology reasons and not because of badassitude.

In fact, all the Spetsnaz backflip tomahawk stuff is just for show. They don't actually do that.

That is (Kind of) one of the reasons i chose being a Russian.

They are Bad ass

Some are. Some aren't.

[Jeremy Beaver]

That is (Kind of) one of the reasons i chose being a Russian.

They are Bad ass

Some are. Some aren't.

Yep and as a Asexual person he is unable to be Seduced or really at all be Sexually Aroused.

So he can reject people, Still be Bad ass. And have a very valid reason to reject.

[Imperialisium]

Except....I'm a woman....

Haha, sorry force of habit. I tend to use man a lot.

I'll think about it

lol, I'll hold ya to it

Seriously a Tiger's 88mm firing off...that makes me moist. want to invade Poland.

[Nature-Spirits]

>4 pages of IC
>30+ pages of OOC
Nope, sorry. I can't keep up, so I won't be turning in an app after all. Seeya.

'Sokay, so long as I can still call upon your sage advice with regards to my character.

Of course.

[Jeremy Beaver]

Haha, sorry force of habit. I tend to use man a lot.

I'll think about it

lol, I'll hold ya to it

Seriously a Tiger's 88mm firing off...that makes me moist. want to invade Poland.

How about a Tiger 2's 105mm? or the Maus's gun perhaps

[Nekronia]

Name: Maximilian Metzer
Age: 26
Gender: Male (eunuch)
Appearance:

Preferred Rank: Constable
Preferred Class: Combat
Nationality: English
Experience: 6 years in a private security company, 9 months as an OSP janitor (Hey, somebody needs to keep the place clean!), 6 weeks actually on the OSP force.
Height & Weight: 5'6"/135lb ; 167.6cm/61.2kg
Short Bio: Stoner had a single-parent childhood, single-parent went missing, he can't remember what happened, and (now through a random series of events and blind luck) he ended up on a police force in space.
RP Example: I was invited by Lith to be, as he put it, "comedic relief". I'M JUST DOING MY JOB
---
Likes: Chillin', clowns, clowning around, acrobatics (WHEEEE), puns, ganja, going pewpewpew
Dislikes: People bein' dicks about stuff, bein' uptight, working overtime, being in tight enclosed spaces, having to focus on boring things
Full Bio:

Maximilian was born in the lower-class to a single mother. In school, he wasn't very motivated and generally did poorly in everything except some sports. At home, his mother generally was busy working and would keep him in the closet whenever she would bring a new friend over. Max was okay with it, but it was pretty boring being in a closet for an hour or two. He eventually just got stoned constantly to tune out, and how he managed to pass basic highschool is anybody's guess. However, his lame life got lamer one day. Police arrived at the Metzer household and found Max surrounded by blood with his mother missing, however he doesn't recall what happened, where she went, or why he was by a pool of blood. He didn't worry too much about what happened and why he couldn't actually remember the event, but his mental development was stunted a bit by the traumatic event.

Life went on, and the teen barely got through highschool and was in the bottom of the lower class. He barely managed to hold low-paying jobs, and his spending money was all wasted on weed to tune out and relax. At one point, he managed to meet a relatively wealthy individual while working as a convenience store clerk, who introduced him to an entirely new way of life. The rich man brought religion into Maximilian's meaningless life, and gave purpose. Max was enthralled by this lovely turn of events. Then the cult was shut down by the police for illegally castrating its members and other bizarre law violations. So Max was back to being a useless stoner, but at he had a bit more of a purpose with that bizarre clown cult's teachings in him about the lords and saviors Violent J and 2Dope. The hundred euros in spending money was nice too.

Maximilian managed to find work basically as a security officer somehow, and again somehow managed to luck out and get a job. The reason he picked this is that he figured he could just smoke weed on the job the whole time. Yeah, real philosophical reasoning there. Anyways, he did the sitting around the building and smoking weed in the middle of the night like he intended to and his job required, and this went on for a few months with nothing of note happening. THEN there was an attempted robbery, and well... he actually did pretty well. He managed to acrobat around and dodge gunfire with sheer luck and clowning skills, and tasered the perps. The incompetent stoner managed to get such a surprise out of the rest of the company that he was actually promoted to more important jobs. Again and again, he managed to do his job right out of sheer luck. There wasn't any rational explanation. Max claims it was "MIRACLES BRUH", but that would be retarded. Some years later, the manchild woke up one morning in space without actually remembering how he got there after a long night of, well, marijuana as usual. Apparently he was approached by OCP and managed to net a nice job as a janitor. After several months as a janitor, he was reassigned to be a cop. He had no idea why. Probably signed a contract while high as balls, a frivolous hacker decided to put a stoner on the police force, or there was some sort of clerical error and the janitor somehow got switched with a constable or something. In any case, the lucky clown was now on one of the best peacekeeping organizations in human history. He, again, somehow managed to bullshit and luck his way through the first several weeks, alongside lucking out and dodging bullets and tasering "the bad guys". He has absolutely god-awful aim though, so that he isn't really given any lethal arms since an incompetent stoner with deadly weapons is a disaster waiting to happen.


So now there's a clown with a bizarre amount of luck cartwheeling around tasering criminals on an elite private police force while smoking pot.

---

Theme: The Next Episode. More commonly known as "SMOKE WEED ERR DAY"
Blood Type: A+
Sexuality: Heterosexual. But he's, y'know, childish so don't expect him to really going to hop on the hump wagon. Also he's a eunuch, so...
---
Weapon: Ultralightweight carbine that fires electrifying stun rounds (Guaranteed to incapacitate anything from a dog to an armored horse with <1.0% death rate, or your money back!); Heavy stungun with a dozen 'shots' before it needs a battery swap (Warning: Do not use repeatedly on same person! Adler Industries is not liable for any death or injury resulting from abuse of plasma channel electrification.)
Spare Gear: Stun baton (Self-explanatory: Beat Prod the opponent while the Stun Stick™ is activated.); Extra pouch filled with a ton of strong zipties; Combat knife (for cutting people free and accidentally getting human rights violations other utility purposes.); Combat gas mask; 2 tear gas grenades (Warning: Choking hazard. Keep away from small children.)

[Nekronia]

YOU WANT COMIC RELIEF?! I'LL GIVE YOU COMIC RELIEF!!

But yeah, the circus is in town now.

[Penguinia-Tempor]

YOU WANT COMIC RELIEF?! I'LL GIVE YOU COMIC RELIEF!!

But yeah, the circus is in town now.

Oh boy.

[Imperialisium]

lol, I'll hold ya to it

Seriously a Tiger's 88mm firing off...that makes me moist. want to invade Poland.

How about a Tiger 2's 105mm? or the Maus's gun perhaps

I. CANNOT. RESIST. THE. URGES.

[Ontorisa]

YOU WANT COMIC RELIEF?! I'LL GIVE YOU COMIC RELIEF!!

But yeah, the circus is in town now.

A eunuch? Oh shit, that's brutal.