RWBY: Grimm Eclipse (OOC, DEAD)

[Ulvenes]

That's not even what I said..

Anyways, moving on.

[Raktio]

Name: Godric "Shadowcat" Lionheart
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Faunus
(For Faunus) Animal Traits: Cat ears
Appearance (Can be Picture): (Image)

Sedric's battle uniform

(Image)

Sedric's casual uniform

Bio (The longer the better): Raised as an hunter in Atlas, Godric saw his old team getting killed by Master Galfurst, an infamous Grim leader. Godric wandered through the Remnant, seeking vengeance against Master Galfurst and the Grims. To do so, he needs a new team.

Weapon: Gryffindor
Appearance: Elemental Sword/Chainsaw/Gun.
(Image)
Capabilities: Turning from a normal medieval sword into a chainsaw and also a gun that fires bullets with various Dust elements such as fire, lightning, poison and others.
Other: Godric also uses a shield named Hollow.

Semblance: Silent Kill: Silent Kill allows Godric to go stealth and kill or wound his targets without being noticed.

Did you read the rules?: Yes

RP Example (Link or One Shot. Put One Shots in spoilers): https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopi ... 5&t=311871

Alright Everything before the Bio's solid, in the bio you pretty much need to scratch the whole Master Galfurst thing, as far as the world of Reverent is aware the Grimm just a bunch of creatures of darkness with no known distinct leadership (there's monsters, than there's bigger monsters pretty much sums it up so far). He wouldn't be raised as a Hunter he'd be trained to be a Hunter and he wouldn't have a team, however his mentor could have been killed and authorities tell him or something like that (him being on scene for the killing would be highly unlikely).

On the weapon I'd stick to having a regular old blade or chainsword and not have it shifting between the two. For the gun part since you want a one handed sword you also want a reasonably one handed gun (however reasonable can be stretched a long distance, I've got a character who duel wields shotgun tonfas) and it's going to need to be something with a small clip. Also as a note, with the chainsword you could have the blade infused with dust (at that point drop the gun part though) however it would probably be consuming the stuff pretty fast (and dust supplies need to be replenished and unless you're someone like Weiss it does cost money to do so). Also with the shield, which type? there's loads of different shields for example there's Buckers, Heater Shields (likely the type you're thinking of), Kite Shields, Pavise, Renntartsche, Scutum (Roman), and more.

[The Templar High Council]

Nobody else comment on the app. As soon as my cloud/school ends in 2 hours, I'll tell it to him straight.

[Raktio]

Nobody else comment on the app. As soon as my cloud/school ends in 2 hours, I'll tell it to him straight.

[The Templar High Council]

Okay, this one can work!

Name: Godric "Shadowcat" Lionheart
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Faunus
(For Faunus) Animal Traits: Cat ears
Appearance (Can be Picture): (Image)
Sedric's battle uniform

(Image)
Sedric's casual uniform

Bio (The longer the better): Raised as an hunter in Atlas, Godric saw his old team getting killed by Master Galfurst, an infamous Grim leader. Godric wandered through the Remnant, seeking vengeance against Master Galfurst and the Grims. To do so, he needs a new team.

Weapon: Gryffindor
Appearance: Elemental Sword/Chainsaw/Gun.
(Image)
Capabilities: Turning from a normal medieval sword into a chainsaw and also a gun that fires bullets with various Dust elements such as fire, lightning, poison and others.
Other: Godric also uses a shield named Hollow.

Semblance: Silent Kill: Silent Kill allows Godric to go stealth and kill or wound his targets without being noticed.

Did you read the rules?: Yes

RP Example (Link or One Shot. Put One Shots in spoilers): https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopi ... 5&t=311871

Alright, I'll take the issues as I sees 'em.

1) The name, or at least the last name, is just so... generic. It's like the hero of a 2nd rate RPG. And I would like it if you didn't have a nickname. Those are normally given to you, not made by you. Starlord is an exception, but he saved the galaxy. You didn't.

2) I like the armor, but it seems too much for a student. Lose the helmet, cuirass, and greaves/leg armor. Shoulders and forearms are fine, and I might accept a simpler/less protective cuirass/pair of greaves.

3) Grimm don't have leaders, per se. There are strong Grimm, but they aren't individually named. And I'm sure a 16 year old, 1st year hunter in training won't go on a quest of vengeance.

4) Overall, the bio is shit. There's no hiding it. A biography tells the story of your character's past; why they are who they are. Not just what happened recently.

5) Weapon may be too useful. A gun, sword, and chainsaw? Why the chainsaw? It's just a more ostentatious sword. You can have a gunblade fine, but no chainsaw at all. Plus, I think even hunters in training have some restrictions on weapons. A chainsaw is unnecessarily gruesome. That's why that White Fang had one in the S2 finale.

6) Semblence... is sneaking? So he knows how to sneak... Get something real. Something useful, but not too violent/OP.

Bonus) You might be the first one whose RP sample I examine. Just because I hate seeing amateur apps.

[North Arkana]

Arvenia isn't known for high-quality RP... he's famous for missile spam and making up the enemy's casualties...

[Ulvenes]

I thought that the name of the sword was kind of cheesy and not really thought out, but that wasn't really important.

[The Templar High Council]

I thought that the name of the sword was kind of cheesy and not really thought out, but that wasn't really important.

I ignored that, since we're not going to Hogwarts anytime soon.

Arvenia isn't known for high-quality RP... he's famous for missile spam and making up the enemy's casualties...

I see from the link.

Arv, I'm gonna have to ask that I get a character RP example. Either write something here for me about your character and stick it in a reposted bio, or give me a link to a character RP you've been in and feel good about showing.

[The Blazing Aura]

I thought that the name of the sword was kind of cheesy and not really thought out, but that wasn't really important.

I ignored that, since we're not going to Hogwarts anytime soon.

I mean those Harry Potter shout outs are blazing obvious. You're better off just making them Slytherin or making them Potter along rather than going *Snap-e* and making them the bare Bones of the app, you're a lot more likely to Fudge it that way.

[Talion Union]

When I first heard about RWBY:

"What's this? Eh, might as well. Probably something dumb."

Two hours later:

"WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!?!?!? THIS IS AWESOME!"

[The Templar High Council]

I ignored that, since we're not going to Hogwarts anytime soon.

I mean those Harry Potter shout outs are blazing obvious. You're better off just making them Slytherin or making them Potter along rather than going *Snap-e* and making them the bare Bones of the app, you're a lot more likely to Fudge it that way.

I feel like that was supposed to be funny.

[Charmera]

So you wear your armor all the time? At least make foldable frame armor, and we've already got a ridiculous amount of rage semblances, think of something more unique at this point I'm thinking of illusions being unique enough (we've got one illusions user and RWBY has two cannon ones). Although Faunus by default dictionary description are anthros they aren't all fuzzy, typically they have one or two animal parts like ears and tails of that animal and the rest human. Change the age to a defiant age, which should be 16 or 17, and learn your RWBY/Reverent lore before redoing your app. The weapon needs loads of fixing, fist being that it can't beba cannon and a shotgun without having seperate barrels and cartridges for both. As for English sword, that's not even a type of sword, look up diferent sword types and in this case Wikipedia is a fairly good source for your purposes, if not there's plenty of sword fan sites. Probably just want to get rid of the chainsword and RPG and stick to a simple gunblade or just scratch your entire weapon and think through it so that you can explain the whole thing and how it functions.

Okay, this one can work!

Name: Godric "Shadowcat" Lionheart
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Faunus
(For Faunus) Animal Traits: Cat ears
Appearance (Can be Picture):

Sedric's battle uniform

Sedric's casual uniform

Bio (The longer the better): Raised as an hunter in Atlas, Godric saw his old team getting killed by Master Galfurst, an infamous Grim leader. Godric wandered through the Remnant, seeking vengeance against Master Galfurst and the Grims. To do so, he needs a new team.

Weapon: Gryffindor
Appearance: Elemental Sword/Chainsaw/Gun.

Capabilities: Turning from a normal medieval sword into a chainsaw and also a gun that fires bullets with various Dust elements such as fire, lightning, poison and others.
Other: Godric also uses a shield named Hollow.

Semblance: Silent Kill: Silent Kill allows Godric to go stealth and kill or wound his targets without being noticed.

Did you read the rules?: Yes

RP Example (Link or One Shot. Put One Shots in spoilers): viewtopic.php?f=5&t=311871

Lionheart... Sounds awfully familiar...

[The Blazing Aura]

I mean those Harry Potter shout outs are blazing obvious. You're better off just making them Slytherin or making them Potter along rather than going *Snap-e* and making them the bare Bones of the app, you're a lot more likely to Fudge it that way.

I feel like that was supposed to be funny.

It started off being funny and the quickly devolved into how many Harry Potter related names could I get into that post with it still making sense.

[Ulvenes]

When I first heard about RWBY:

"What's this? Eh, might as well. Probably something dumb."

Two hours later:

"WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!?!?!? THIS IS AWESOME!"

I feel ya.

[Icrum]

When I first heard about RWBY:

"What's this? Eh, might as well. Probably something dumb."

Two hours later:

"WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!?!?!? THIS IS AWESOME!"

I feel ya.

I feel ya too.

[Gaiserin]

All the feels.

[Raktio]

All the feels.

Indeed.

[Stormwrath]

When I first heard about RWBY:

"What's this? Eh, might as well. Probably something dumb."

Two hours later:

"WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!?!?!? THIS IS AWESOME!"

I learned of RWBY from one of my friends. And YES, I feel the same way as you do.

[Stormwrath]

I think we should move to the initiation thing, as long as Kalbana is okay with it.

[The Templar High Council]

Alright. Kal's probably busy with something. I'll move us along to tomorrow when I get home from the barber shop.

[Raktio]

Alright. Kal's probably busy with something. I'll move us along to tomorrow when I get home from the barber shop.

Yay! what's the approximate hours until than?

[The Templar High Council]

Alright. Kal's probably busy with something. I'll move us along to tomorrow when I get home from the barber shop.

Yay! what's the approximate hours until than?

Hours.

Bitch.

We're talking minutes.

[Ulvenes]

Yay! what's the approximate hours until than?

Hours.

Bitch.

We're talking minutes.

Your barbershop visits take minutes? Damn, mine take an hour at least.

[The Templar High Council]

Hours.

Bitch.

We're talking minutes.

Your barbershop visits take minutes? Damn, mine take an hour at least.

No, I was on the way home when I posted. Working on it now.

[Ulvenes]

Oh.