NationStates

Swith Witherward wrote:In honor of last year's Christmas story.

Naomi added a new plastic camel to the nativity scene and smiled at the Baby Jesus (which still bore the impression of Raptor teeth along his toes). Most of the pieces had survived. The little plastic sheep was missing its leg, but Naomi had used a toothpick to get it to stand upright again. She stepped back to admire her work and then quickly moved to protect the whole thing as Swith walked into the room.

"Eh? Oh shit, is it that time of year again? Stupid Christian holidays." The god sucked her front teeth and squinted at the display.

"They aren't stupid," Naomi protested, "Don't you come near my nativity!"

Swith glared at her. "I don't know why you don't trust me."

"I don't trust you because you don't respect Christmas! You practically ruined it last year."

"I didn't ruin it. I made that fancy dinner, didn't I, and I helped decorate. That whole stupid party was my idea." Swith crossed her arms and tipped her nose up at the indignity of Naomi's implication.

Naomi stomped her foot. "You ate my plastic camel!"

"You didn't say I couldn't."

It was a fair retort. Technically, Naomi hadn't said a thing about not consuming the holiday decor last year. None-the-less, Naomi wasn't having any of it this year. "You don't respect the meaning of Christmas, you don't respect my manger scene, and you don't even bother to pay attention to the significance of Elohim's gift to Mankind. So... so..."

Swith's eyebrow raised. "I believe the words you're looking for are 'fuck' and 'off', dear."

Naomi's dread further increased as two small forms entered the room and flocked to their mother's side. Their eager faces peered at the weird little things grouped on the table. They looked at Naomi and smiled. "Can we play dolls with you, Aunt Naomi?"

"Those aren't dolls." The response had come from Swith. She settled Siduer on her hip and then lifted Sydney to the other. Ignoring Naomi's sputtering and wild hand waving, she approached the nativity and allowed the twins to see it more clearly.

"This is special to your father," Swith told them, "so you need to pay attention to the story and show respect. Do you remember what Daddy told you about Christmas? This is a representation of that day, but it's not accurate. Medieval writers fucked it up and modern Christians miss the symbolism involved. They don't see the gifts Mankind exchanged with Elohim."

She adjusted the twins on her hips and sighed. "According to the story, Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem. There wasn't room anywhere for them. They were forced to stay outside the city during a time period where walls kept out thieves and brigands. It was very dangerous. Thus came the first Gift: Compassion. A man took pity on them and allowed them to stay in his stable.

"Now about those shepherds. Shepherds aren't nocturnal. They set watches because of the wild animals and because thieves would make off with their sheep. When the angels spoke to them, they ran to see this miracle. Their hope was the genesis of the second Gift: Good Will. They put aside their own issues and needs and saw to it that another's needs were taken care of. No evil-minded men or wild animals would harm the family with those watchmen gathered around the stable. Your gift of Good Will... getting off your ass and doing something... allows others to survive hard times.

"The Wise Men. Three men, considered great scholars, traveled far to see this child. They arrived much later, but bore gifts. You might think these gifts were the Gift, but they weren't. The Gift itself was Charity. Mary and Joseph would lose everything because of their flight to Egypt. The gifts given to them would aid them along the way, and pay for their food and shelter while Joseph sought to establish himself. Never hesitate to give to the poor. Your generosity might help that person regain his life, which will allow him to provide for his family.

"Compassion, Good Will and Charity are Gifts from the Heart. This ties in with a message told much later in the story. Remember the story Daddy told you? This baby grows up to be a man. He was challenged by a Pharisee one day who tried to trap him with regard to Elohim's laws. He asked him, "Well, what is the greatest Commandment in the Law." And Elohim's son replied, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

"When Daddy offers Compassion, Good Will and Charity to others, think of them as his effort to keep the greatest Commandments and his determination to continue his pledge to exchange Gifts with Elohim. That is how Mankind honors Elohim and helps his fellow Man, his neighbor."

Naomi balked. "Why did you take the time to learn that?"

"I married a Catholic," Swith quipped. "My only problem with Christmas is that so many Christians get hung up on "Jesus is my gift and the reason for the season" that they forget all about the gift exchange. Anyway, Merry Christmas." She shrugged and set the twins down.

Naomi watched her leave and shook her head. She looked at the nativity, wondering where in the hell Swith came up with that stuff. And then she noticed that the new plastic camel was missing.

~meaning no disrespect to anyone of any faith (or non-faith) here

Love, Swith (the ebil atheist)

New Aksarben wrote:Swith, that was great. I really enjoyed reading that, and seeing that interpretation, which makes just as much sense as the ones I've normally heard. *nods*

Plus, I always enjoy reading things you write. They're just so awesome! ^w^

Swith Witherward wrote:In honor of last year's Christmas story.

Naomi added a new plastic camel to the nativity scene and smiled at the Baby Jesus (which still bore the impression of Raptor teeth along his toes). Most of the pieces had survived. The little plastic sheep was missing its leg, but Naomi had used a toothpick to get it to stand upright again. She stepped back to admire her work and then quickly moved to protect the whole thing as Swith walked into the room.

"Eh? Oh shit, is it that time of year again? Stupid Christian holidays." The god sucked her front teeth and squinted at the display.

"They aren't stupid," Naomi protested, "Don't you come near my nativity!"

Swith glared at her. "I don't know why you don't trust me."

"I don't trust you because you don't respect Christmas! You practically ruined it last year."

"I didn't ruin it. I made that fancy dinner, didn't I, and I helped decorate. That whole stupid party was my idea." Swith crossed her arms and tipped her nose up at the indignity of Naomi's implication.

Naomi stomped her foot. "You ate my plastic camel!"

"You didn't say I couldn't."

It was a fair retort. Technically, Naomi hadn't said a thing about not consuming the holiday decor last year. None-the-less, Naomi wasn't having any of it this year. "You don't respect the meaning of Christmas, you don't respect my manger scene, and you don't even bother to pay attention to the significance of Elohim's gift to Mankind. So... so..."

Swith's eyebrow raised. "I believe the words you're looking for are 'fuck' and 'off', dear."

Naomi's dread further increased as two small forms entered the room and flocked to their mother's side. Their eager faces peered at the weird little things grouped on the table. They looked at Naomi and smiled. "Can we play dolls with you, Aunt Naomi?"

"Those aren't dolls." The response had come from Swith. She settled Siduer on her hip and then lifted Sydney to the other. Ignoring Naomi's sputtering and wild hand waving, she approached the nativity and allowed the twins to see it more clearly.

"This is special to your father," Swith told them, "so you need to pay attention to the story and show respect. Do you remember what Daddy told you about Christmas? This is a representation of that day, but it's not accurate. Medieval writers fucked it up and modern Christians miss the symbolism involved. They don't see the gifts Mankind exchanged with Elohim."

She adjusted the twins on her hips and sighed. "According to the story, Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem. There wasn't room anywhere for them. They were forced to stay outside the city during a time period where walls kept out thieves and brigands. It was very dangerous. Thus came the first Gift: Compassion. A man took pity on them and allowed them to stay in his stable.

"Now about those shepherds. Shepherds aren't nocturnal. They set watches because of the wild animals and because thieves would make off with their sheep. When the angels spoke to them, they ran to see this miracle. Their hope was the genesis of the second Gift: Good Will. They put aside their own issues and needs and saw to it that another's needs were taken care of. No evil-minded men or wild animals would harm the family with those watchmen gathered around the stable. Your gift of Good Will... getting off your ass and doing something... allows others to survive hard times.

"The Wise Men. Three men, considered great scholars, traveled far to see this child. They arrived much later, but bore gifts. You might think these gifts were the Gift, but they weren't. The Gift itself was Charity. Mary and Joseph would lose everything because of their flight to Egypt. The gifts given to them would aid them along the way, and pay for their food and shelter while Joseph sought to establish himself. Never hesitate to give to the poor. Your generosity might help that person regain his life, which will allow him to provide for his family.

"Compassion, Good Will and Charity are Gifts from the Heart. This ties in with a message told much later in the story. Remember the story Daddy told you? This baby grows up to be a man. He was challenged by a Pharisee one day who tried to trap him with regard to Elohim's laws. He asked him, "Well, what is the greatest Commandment in the Law." And Elohim's son replied, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

"When Daddy offers Compassion, Good Will and Charity to others, think of them as his effort to keep the greatest Commandments and his determination to continue his pledge to exchange Gifts with Elohim. That is how Mankind honors Elohim and helps his fellow Man, his neighbor."

Naomi balked. "Why did you take the time to learn that?"

"I married a Catholic," Swith quipped. "My only problem with Christmas is that so many Christians get hung up on "Jesus is my gift and the reason for the season" that they forget all about the gift exchange. Anyway, Merry Christmas." She shrugged and set the twins down.

Naomi watched her leave and shook her head. She looked at the nativity, wondering where in the hell Swith came up with that stuff. And then she noticed that the new plastic camel was missing.

~meaning no disrespect to anyone of any faith (or non-faith) here

Love, Swith (the ebil atheist)

The BranRiech wrote:Are we all going to have the Christmas party IC this year, despite all the crazy stuff going on?

Swith Witherward wrote:

The BranRiech wrote:Are we all going to have the Christmas party IC this year, despite all the crazy stuff going on?

Yes.

NVE, what day works best for you? We were going to launch the assault this weekend, possibly Sunday.

Would you be up to doing it tonight? We can advance time to late afternoon to accommodate.

The New Velociraptor Empire wrote:

Swith Witherward wrote:Yes.

NVE, what day works best for you? We were going to launch the assault this weekend, possibly Sunday.

Would you be up to doing it tonight? We can advance time to late afternoon to accommodate.

This evening sounds good, But I do want to say bye, and I figured out an IC reason to make my characters absent.

The New Velociraptor Empire wrote:Okay, I'll get the word out. And it is much appreciated Swith, I hold you all dear to my heart. And I will return once my life is back in order.

Urran wrote:crap! I don't think that I will be able to attend because of my schedule. NVE, if I don't get on tonight, I love you man, hope you get back soon.

The New Velociraptor Empire wrote:

Urran wrote:crap! I don't think that I will be able to attend because of my schedule. NVE, if I don't get on tonight, I love you man, hope you get back soon.

*bro hug*
You do know I have the rest of the week...but my computer may not last that long. You are a pillar of inspiration and passion.

Tiltjuice wrote:Yoshi's gonna have insomnia. *laughs* He's asleep and it's not even evening yet.

Tiltjuice wrote:Yoshi's gonna have insomnia. *laughs* He's asleep and it's not even evening yet.

Urran wrote:He already has insomnia

Tiltjuice wrote:

Urran wrote:He already has insomnia

Since when?

Urran wrote:Haven't you noticed that he sleeps a lot during the day and stays up all night