One could assume that the dimension had grown accustomed to the depraved, twisted debauchery of dubious morality that occurred with regularity in the tiny spec of land known as Bielefeld. One could also assume that these events sprung up from nowhere and with no catalyst other than the whims of the population. Yes, one
could assume this - they would be mistaken. None of this could be blamed on the Carnival however. It had long since departed.
The party had once again spread out of the building and into the city itself, which took on an air of Mardi Gras crossed with a truly iniquitous spring break. The drunken revelry grew in intensity like a pustulent boil blighting the otherwise flawless night until it seemed that it could no longer be contained by the confines of reason, sanity and the space-time continuum itself. It quavered on the edge and strove to expand just a little bit further but, failing to have room to wiggle in, it exploded into messy logic. The catalyst motivating the participants suddenly dropped from the revelers like water from a bucket. And so, all over town, people came to their senses and realized they were doing some pretty wild (or horrid or downright naughty) things…
The majority of madness had taken place at the corner of Subabsurdus and Main. Bodies littered the lawn, passed out drunk. Party streamers graced the entire town, apparently shot out of a streamer cannon from the Building’s roof. Many of the windows on the building’s lower floors were broken. Loudspeakers blared
music into the night on the tail-end of a 10-hour loop. But that was just the tip of the iceberg…
The walls of the lobby were covered in writing and symbols, the insane ramblings of a mad man about some entity called "Zalgo". There was a slip and slide on the stairs from the third floor to ground. The inside of the elevator car had been filled to the brim with ping pong balls. Near the side of the building was a smoldering cthulhu carcass semi-dug up from the ground in mimicry of a Hawaiian pig roast. Carved up slices of meat on plates, banana leaves, poi, etc., rested on a table nearyby. A full-scale pirate ship had been dropped onto the front lawn and a cloud of bats swarmed the rigging and littered the lawn with glow-in-the-dark green droppings. A waterfall of pure cocaine fell down the side of the building and disappeared into a kiddie pool on the ground.
Ray had been floating upside-down for several moments, chanting that he had forgotten to pay the gravity bill in the room. Hans floated nearby and complained about the unpaid bill.
Albert, carrying a huge tub of cream cheese in one hand and some lox in the other, was running around after Jacob, who was screaming threats to destroy the world with a flaming bagel. Kei and Yuri chased after both, holding walruses aloft and demanding “equal representation”.
Gio was petting a bat. Turtleboss ran around the grass nearby chasing fireflies; they continued to glow even after being sucked inside of him.
Barox and Wren were the last two tech-priests still conscious on the front lawn; their companions had all passed and were being carried back home by mechanical spiders. The pair were locked in a passionate kiss.
Dora and Chrys, both blindfolded, were on a dangerously weaving Segway. Tasia was strolling ahead of them banging two copper pot lids together and instructing everyone to bring out their dead. Oddly enough, townspeople were complying and dropping their inebriated friends on front lawns.
Neil and Gretta found themselves handcuffed in an Apollo Lunar Module that was tied to hundreds of balloons. Naomi was stuffing more streamers into the barrel of a cannon as Ceril once again took aim at them.
Sapphire and Ogoti were on the front lawn surrounded by thousands of plushy microbes. They were flat on their backs and moving their legs and feet to make Microbe Angels. Octavian was running away with an armful, laughing derisively and vowing to “Contain the Un-Containable”.
NVE had accidentally created a 10 foot tall tabby kitten and it was on the loose, he and Nevvie tried to get its attention by throwing cheeseburgers in front of it. Blossom was running for her life from the kitten.
Aegis was shambling awkwardly around reciting every line from the Dark Knight trilogy; Primordial had a trio of dead bodies at his feet and was using their blood to paint some very unusual symbols on the walls, while insidious was staring in a mirror trying to use her loci to control her own mind.
Arthur ran around the airport in a straightjacket covered in old blood, attempting to hail a taxi. The airport security was fairly busy owing to someone coating all the airplanes at the terminal in orange marmalade.
The sisters found themselves at the pool, either drunk, high, or sent into a craze by some other force. Katya was in a bikini, walking about with two pitchers of beer, while Torii was underwater, pretending to be a monster with a tiny lego city. Tieria was duct taped to the building behind them.
Drova and Yuna, with scarves tied around their delicate ears to block out sound, were riding a gigantic Boston crème donut down the stairway slip and slide. They were followed by Lucius and Xanthe riding a slab of angel food cake.
Dimitrus was relaxed for once, wearing a casual uniform, and stargazing with her sister… while Pete and Thomas stood on the deck of the pirate ship and aimed a banana crème pie cannon at them.
Dab, finally returned from wherever he’d been hiding, was dancing on random things in a pink frilly dress. He was followed around by the paparazzi clutching old-fashioned cameras.
Volturius, wearing nothing but the skinned hides of his victims like a gory kilt, was crouched on the ledge of the building and gnawing on the remains of [REDACTED]. Tipper squatted nearby forecasting the future with their entrails and bones. She’d painted his body with bloody glyphs which had dried to a brownish hue.
Aleki and Natiya, dressed like Flamenco dancers, were ice skating around the lobby in a “couple’s competition”. (They got three ten’s from drunken nuns but the fat friar gave them a two.)"
Fortu danced the Twist with Monique to the song
"You Never Can Tell" in the dining room upon the table.
Klaus was at the base of the cocaine waterfall. He looked like a powdered sugar-coated rat and was screaming insanities in Swahili while Minerva and Will attempted to pull him out.
Bran and Rylli were dressed in full BranRiech military dress uniforms and dangled from the top branches of a tree where they’d crashed a replica of the Wright Flyer, the craft brought down by a volley of streamers from the roof. Sig was running around the base of the tree and screaming at them to release Astrild from his bonds.
Meanwhile, on the pirate ship,
Swith was nimbly perched in Thriller's lap. He was wearing a
pirate outfit and sat in an old wooden chair next to Bones. He was tipped backward with his massive boots propped on a ship’s rail. Both were drinking Gliese wine from tankards attached to their waists with chains, and she was
singing a song to him that (less than a
year ago) she thought she’d never sing to anyone again.
She ran her hand through her hair after she was finished and looked towards her nefarious companion. "Well, Mr. Bones, looks like another fine Zalgofest." She raised her tankard to toast him as the skies began to lighten.
Bones didn’t reply. He was a plywood cutout. Two succubi pulled on strings to raise his articulated arm and painted flagon in toast back to her. The real Bones was…
elsewhere.
Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 9:50 pm
