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Constaniana
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Postby Constaniana » Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:36 pm

Agritum wrote:
Constaniana wrote:Kroisoto immediately lost interest in talking with Natalie or asking about why she was doing what she was doing with the wild man or how they suddenly appeared in the inferno. For some reason the young nobleman couldn't explain Charlie had a lovely way of effortlessly waltzing in and becoming the centre of his attention.

"That's fascinating, Charlie," said Kroisoto, walking over to the Southemen lass and looking at the strange mushrooms she pointed out. "So how is the poison supposed to come out? It's not through skin contact, is it?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"No, Sir Kroisoto. Rather, the mushrooms need to be chopped and stomped into a fine paste, which can be then diluted into water to synthetize the poison. I heard that demons apparently have a liking for these mushrooms, due to their very strong taste and flavoury tissue."

Charlie glanced at Kroisoto, smiling. "Well, I'm ready to go on, sir. Even if it may be dangerous, this trip is going to give us a wealth of knowledge about the demonic world."

"Huh. I didn't think demons would have much interest in what sort of food they ate. Maybe they're more intelligent than we give them credit for. Of course, I'm not denying they're evil, repulsive creatures, but..." Kroisoto trailed off, beginning to walk back towards the others.

"It didn't take much to kill this monster," Richard stated, leaning in very closely to the demon, looking at its neck in particular. "Just a neat little wound that couldn't have come from something larger than a needle...but why would you use such a tiny blade to kill a demon and then dry it out? The skin doesn't feel like it's been baked by the sun or anything, so how would the body feel so dry?"

Just then, a shuffling sound could be heard coming from the other tunnel leading into the foul storage room the party was standing in. It was reminiscent of a feeble cook's apprentice trying to drag a bag of potatoes into the pantry who kept stopping to catch his breath and rest his skinny arms.

"I swear, I could have sworn I heard someone else talking just now..." a young man's voice echoed from the tunnel.

"You're hearing things, Harald. This Inferno is full of strange things. Disembodied voices randomly talking wouldn't really surprise me. I seriously doubt other people actually managed to get into h-"

Two young men came out of the dark tunnel into the dark red light of the crude mausoleum, dragging another shriveled demon corpse on the ground between them. They were clad in uniform dark robes, and while the odd light messed with the perception of colour the two men's garments seemed to be the same colour and design as the Watchtower cultists that had attacked in Haventown.

"Hearing things, am I Sam?" Said the robed man on the left, his face paling as he looked at the people standing in the room, particularly the four men with swords.

"Shut up, Harald. Probably some illusion or something, right? Like I said, strange things go on here, but it couldn't hurt to leave this corpse here and go report back to-" his companion advised, before being cut off when Richard grabbed the two young men by the scruffs of their robes and dragged over into the centre of the room, leaving them surrounded by the group.

"Hullo there, lads. My name's Richard. You have a few questions to answer, such as what two men your age are doing skulking about in a twisted pocket dimension demons use as a stepping stone to Gaiaca."

"We won't tell you nothin', interloper! You don't scare us!" The one named Sam spat, glaring around at his captors. Richard rolled his eyes, held out his palm and conjured a ball of flame.

"How about now, hm?" The foreign redhead inquired calmly.

"Oh, an Elemental oppressor, eh? Your kind better watch your steps. You won't be able to intimidate the rest of us like that soon," the robed man named Harald sneered, letting go of the dry demon arm he had been holding.
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Kassaran
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Postby Kassaran » Tue Feb 04, 2014 2:03 pm

Constaniana wrote:-snip-

Erosen looked up and snarled. He was flushed red with embarrassment, but discounting what had just happened between the rather now attractive girl next to him and the teleporting into this strange area, he was fully and thoroughly irritated. Now there was the man using the flames in his hands on top of two carrying the body of a dead abomination. He let out a ferocious sounding snarl that reverberated within the chamber and hunching his shoulders up, he moved towards the men who'd entered his presence with such an offensive cadaver.
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Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Tristan noticed footsteps behind him and looked there, only to see Eric approaching and then pointing his sword at the girl. He just blinked a few times at this before speaking.

"Put that down, Mr. Eric." He said. "She's obviously not a chicken."
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Ameriganastan
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Postby Ameriganastan » Tue Feb 04, 2014 2:23 pm

Constaniana wrote:As Kroisoto went over to Charlie, Richard went back to inspecting the demon corpse mound.

"Well, Tristan, I'm not so sure we can move on just yet. And when we do I imagine we'll run into whatever did this to these demons anyway," he said to the Ice Elemental, lifting one of the bodies off to inspect it more clearly.

"Mr. Eric, not to be prying, but what sort of people do you sell demon horns to?" Aldraniri asked the old soldier.

"Souvenir hunters, weird collectors, people who grind it up to improve their sexual prowess...all types of people. Though sometimes I just lie and carve a horn out of wood. I apparently have a very trustworthy face. Cause they buy it every time."

He poked at the corpse pile.

"Shame they were sucked dry like this. The blood is worth even more."
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Zarkenis Ultima
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Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Tue Feb 04, 2014 2:45 pm

Constaniana wrote:"Huh. I didn't think demons would have much interest in what sort of food they ate. Maybe they're more intelligent than we give them credit for. Of course, I'm not denying they're evil, repulsive creatures, but..." Kroisoto trailed off, beginning to walk back towards the others.

"It didn't take much to kill this monster," Richard stated, leaning in very closely to the demon, looking at its neck in particular. "Just a neat little wound that couldn't have come from something larger than a needle...but why would you use such a tiny blade to kill a demon and then dry it out? The skin doesn't feel like it's been baked by the sun or anything, so how would the body feel so dry?"

Just then, a shuffling sound could be heard coming from the other tunnel leading into the foul storage room the party was standing in. It was reminiscent of a feeble cook's apprentice trying to drag a bag of potatoes into the pantry who kept stopping to catch his breath and rest his skinny arms.

"I swear, I could have sworn I heard someone else talking just now..." a young man's voice echoed from the tunnel.

"You're hearing things, Harald. This Inferno is full of strange things. Disembodied voices randomly talking wouldn't really surprise me. I seriously doubt other people actually managed to get into h-"

Two young men came out of the dark tunnel into the dark red light of the crude mausoleum, dragging another shriveled demon corpse on the ground between them. They were clad in uniform dark robes, and while the odd light messed with the perception of colour the two men's garments seemed to be the same colour and design as the Watchtower cultists that had attacked in Haventown.

"Hearing things, am I Sam?" Said the robed man on the left, his face paling as he looked at the people standing in the room, particularly the four men with swords.

"Shut up, Harald. Probably some illusion or something, right? Like I said, strange things go on here, but it couldn't hurt to leave this corpse here and go report back to-" his companion advised, before being cut off when Richard grabbed the two young men by the scruffs of their robes and dragged over into the centre of the room, leaving them surrounded by the group.

"Hullo there, lads. My name's Richard. You have a few questions to answer, such as what two men your age are doing skulking about in a twisted pocket dimension demons use as a stepping stone to Gaiaca."

"We won't tell you nothin', interloper! You don't scare us!" The one named Sam spat, glaring around at his captors. Richard rolled his eyes, held out his palm and conjured a ball of flame.

"How about now, hm?" The foreign redhead inquired calmly.

"Oh, an Elemental oppressor, eh? Your kind better watch your steps. You won't be able to intimidate the rest of us like that soon," the robed man named Harald sneered, letting go of the dry demon arm he had been holding.


Harald found himself being observed by a white-haired young man's curious gaze.

"Why?" Tristan asked, with little more than honest curiosity.
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Constaniana
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Postby Constaniana » Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:19 am

"You're right about that, old man," said Sam. "Although our uses for demon's blood are for more grand and useful, as opposed to how your clients would use it. Burning it to dispel bad luck from an old house, or throwing it into the east wind to bring calamity to an enemy or whatever foolish gypsy rituals demon blood is wasted in...it has so much more power than that," The man glared back at the snarling Elemental. "And keep your dog on a leash, fools," he spat.

"Why, you ask?" Harald replied to Tristan after his comrade finished his tirade. "Because our society is growing stronger. Using the science of ancients we can give man the advantage needed to purge our oppressors!"

Richard couldn't help but laugh at that statement. "Really? While I'm all in favour of archaeological interest, I really doubt you'll make much use of ancient technology reliant on magic to work. Do you expect me to believe you can make a golem out of lots of wheels and bits of string or some rubbish like that?"
Join Elementals 3, one of P2TM's oldest high fantasy roleplays, full of adventure, humour, and saving the world. Winner of the Best High Fantasy RP of P2TM twice in a row Choo Choo
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Ameriganastan wrote:I work hard to think of those ludicrous Eric adventure stories, but I don't think I'd have come up with rescuing a three armed alchemist from goblin-monkeys in a million years.

Kudos.

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Zarkenis Ultima
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Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:48 pm

Constaniana wrote:"You're right about that, old man," said Sam. "Although our uses for demon's blood are for more grand and useful, as opposed to how your clients would use it. Burning it to dispel bad luck from an old house, or throwing it into the east wind to bring calamity to an enemy or whatever foolish gypsy rituals demon blood is wasted in...it has so much more power than that," The man glared back at the snarling Elemental. "And keep your dog on a leash, fools," he spat.

"Why, you ask?" Harald replied to Tristan after his comrade finished his tirade. "Because our society is growing stronger. Using the science of ancients we can give man the advantage needed to purge our oppressors!"

Richard couldn't help but laugh at that statement. "Really? While I'm all in favour of archaeological interest, I really doubt you'll make much use of ancient technology reliant on magic to work. Do you expect me to believe you can make a golem out of lots of wheels and bits of string or some rubbish like that?"


Tristan listened to Harald and Richard. He didn't really understand much of what they said, but as he strived to learn, he kept his attention on them anyways. To a lesser extent, he also listened to what Sam said, though it didn't really register until later.

"Why can't they?" Tristan asked Richard. "From what I've seen, Gallians are really resourceful. They make lots of stuff with very simple materials. Don't you have giant wood constructs that can cross oceans, or enormous metal beasts that carry huge loads?" He asked, genuinely wondering why, if Gallians could make all of that, they couldn't make what he thought to be a moving creature.

But then what Sam said finally caught up to him. Tristan blinked a few times before speaking up again. "Wait... You mean you stole the blood of those demons?" He asked, now sounding rather alarmed, before turning to Richard. "Doesn't that mean they should be punished? Stealing is bad." He stated.
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Ameriganastan
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Postby Ameriganastan » Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:09 pm

"Stealing is bad."

Eric spun his sword around and lopped a demons head off, holding it up for Tristan to see.

"But these things are worse. No one is going to shed a tear if you steal the essence of a murderous monster."

He punted the head down a nearby tunnel.
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Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Zarkenis Ultima
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Founded: Feb 22, 2011
Democratic Socialists

Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:58 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:"Stealing is bad."

Eric spun his sword around and lopped a demons head off, holding it up for Tristan to see.

"But these things are worse. No one is going to shed a tear if you steal the essence of a murderous monster."

He punted the head down a nearby tunnel.


Tristan, disgusted by the show, even if he understood that demons were murderous beasts, looked elsewhere. He understood that murder was bad, worse even than simple theft, but still.

"...Do you mean that, as long as you steal from someone worse than you, everything is alright?" He asked, now seeming upset, clenching his hands into fists, though he didn't mean to do anything with them.

"That's... That's a lie." He said. "That's not how it happens. That's never how it happens." He continued, though his voice died down near the end.
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Postby Ameriganastan » Wed Feb 05, 2014 5:02 pm

Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
Ameriganastan wrote:"Stealing is bad."

Eric spun his sword around and lopped a demons head off, holding it up for Tristan to see.

"But these things are worse. No one is going to shed a tear if you steal the essence of a murderous monster."

He punted the head down a nearby tunnel.


Tristan, disgusted by the show, even if he understood that demons were murderous beasts, looked elsewhere. He understood that murder was bad, worse even than simple theft, but still.

"...Do you mean that, as long as you steal from someone worse than you, everything is alright?" He asked, now seeming upset, clenching his hands into fists, though he didn't mean to do anything with them.

"That's... That's a lie." He said. "That's not how it happens. That's never how it happens." He continued, though his voice died down near the end.

"It's a gray area, tyke. You ever hear the story of the Green Archer? He was a thief. But he was a good thief. He robbed from the corrupt rich and gave to the needy poor. He was breaking the law. But for a good cause."

He whipped the viscera off his blade.

"Now if someone was to steal from you, who I assume is a good person, then that would be bad. Cause you never meant no ill will to nobody."
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Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Zarkenis Ultima
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Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:53 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:"It's a gray area, tyke. You ever hear the story of the Green Archer? He was a thief. But he was a good thief. He robbed from the corrupt rich and gave to the needy poor. He was breaking the law. But for a good cause."

He whipped the viscera off his blade.

"Now if someone was to steal from you, who I assume is a good person, then that would be bad. Cause you never meant no ill will to nobody."


Tristan shook his head. "And what happened to the Green Archer? The law treated him like any other thief, right?" He said. He was quite obviously guessing, as he had never really heard about the Green Archer, but, in his own skewed view, he sincerely doubted the thief had been forgiven or anything like that.

"Besides, who says that these two did what they did for a good cause?" He asked afterwards, now pointing at the cultists, Harald and Sam. "They obviously mean ill will to what they call oppressors!"
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Ameriganastan
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Postby Ameriganastan » Wed Feb 05, 2014 7:03 pm

Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
Ameriganastan wrote:"It's a gray area, tyke. You ever hear the story of the Green Archer? He was a thief. But he was a good thief. He robbed from the corrupt rich and gave to the needy poor. He was breaking the law. But for a good cause."

He whipped the viscera off his blade.

"Now if someone was to steal from you, who I assume is a good person, then that would be bad. Cause you never meant no ill will to nobody."


Tristan shook his head. "And what happened to the Green Archer? The law treated him like any other thief, right?" He said. He was quite obviously guessing, as he had never really heard about the Green Archer, but, in his own skewed view, he sincerely doubted the thief had been forgiven or anything like that.

"Besides, who says that these two did what they did for a good cause?" He asked afterwards, now pointing at the cultists, Harald and Sam. "They obviously mean ill will to what they call oppressors!"

"Accounts vary from story to story. Some say he married his true love and lived happily ever after. Some say he was betrayed by someone close to him. Some say he was caught and hanged. No idea which, if any, are true. As for these two..."

Eric twiddled his beard with his free hand.

"Well, I'm not sure about them."
Last edited by Ameriganastan on Wed Feb 05, 2014 7:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Constaniana
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Postby Constaniana » Thu Feb 06, 2014 7:34 am

"Well, I'm guessing what these two are up to isn't for anything good. Harvesting this much blood from demons, of all things? This smells funnier than a barge of rancid milk and trout," Richard said. "That's metaphorical, kid," he clarified, anticipating the white-haired Elemental asking where the food he was smelling was located. "So, are you going to go ahead and confess what you're up to, or do we have to aggressively persuade you?" Richard put held his flaming hand closer to the two men's faces and increasing the intensity of the blaze.

"You can't scare us, fiend! We're already dedicated enough to the revolution to delve into Hell's parlour; do you think the flames in your hand can shake our resolve?" Harald cried, grinning slightly and chuckling. "Your brutal magic savagery will not sa-"

"SHUT UP!" Aldraniri roared, his face starting to redden, and fists clenched at his sides. "You're right, trying to get answers out of you is pointless. Why? Because you're bad people, plain and simple. I don't care about any of that horse crap you say liberating mankind or whatever asinine thing you decide to rant about. You go around stirring up trouble. You wear stupid matching robes trying to look sagely or whatever. You hang around in graveyards and ruined castles and Demonic pocket dimensions. And you kidnap the girl I care about the most!" The ginger's voice had returned to being relatively calm as he listed Watchtower's crimes, but lost its restraint as he brought up Heilaga.

"Girl? What are you talking about? What a ridiculous accusation!" Sam snorted, before his face became well acquainted with Aldraniri's boot. Seeing the ginger get violent, Harald sprang up from the floor, hoping to scurry out of the room, but Aldraniri's fists got to him first.

'"Right. The bastards came from down this tunnel here. Shouldn't be so difficult to follow it down to find where they've got the demons they're bleeding dry, wipe out their friends, and collapse this Inferno like we planned to do," Aldraniri noted, drawing his sword again and walking down the tunnel Harald and Sam had emerged from.
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Zarkenis Ultima
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Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Thu Feb 06, 2014 11:58 pm

Hanged? That didn't sound right. Was that what they did to thieves in Gallia?

Tristan turned to Richard, wondering if he had some insight, but apparently he still busy threatening the two cultists, saying something about rancid milk and trout. What the hell that had to do with anything, Tristan couldn't tell. He also couldn't tell what a metaphorical thing was supposed to be, for that matter.

Then all of the sudden, Aldraniri shouted at the cultists, interrupting them, and then began listing the cult's misdeeds, making the Ice elemental feel a pang of guilt for letting that last one happen. What followed after that was more violence, and then, Aldraniri headed towards the tunnel where the two cultists had come from. Tristan himself merely stared at him for a few moments, and then at the now knocked out cultists. Someone had to make sure they didn't do bad things again, and he only really knew of one way to do that, or at least, one way he thought he could make them stop doing such things.

He used his powers again, this time creating a small shard of ice, sharp enough to cut through flesh, and approached the two cultists. He then hesitantly began trying to make small cuts on the back of their hands.
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Ameriganastan
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Postby Ameriganastan » Fri Feb 07, 2014 12:22 am

"You gonna cut something, you need something a little sharper. And a bit more motivation."

Eric unsheathed his whittling knife and spun it around on his fingertip.

"So, what'cha trying to do here? Carve some kind of protective symbol on them? Or are you just one of those crazies who likes cutting peoples hands off."

He let out a bellowing laugh and smacked Tristan on the back.

"Ha! That was a joke in case you didn't know. You seem to miss the obvious at times."
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Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Zarkenis Ultima
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Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Fri Feb 07, 2014 2:44 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:"You gonna cut something, you need something a little sharper. And a bit more motivation."

Eric unsheathed his whittling knife and spun it around on his fingertip.

"So, what'cha trying to do here? Carve some kind of protective symbol on them? Or are you just one of those crazies who likes cutting peoples hands off."

He let out a bellowing laugh and smacked Tristan on the back.

"Ha! That was a joke in case you didn't know. You seem to miss the obvious at times."


Tristan looked at Eric. "That's because it's not obvious to me... I'm not from around here." He explained, before going back to his task. Five cuts on the left hand, six on the right. "And I'm trying to make them stop stealing things to harm others." He added afterwards. "This is to make sure they don't do it again. Or at least that's what it should do." He explained. "I don't like cutting people's hands off. I don't even like doing this. But someone has to."
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Postby Ameriganastan » Fri Feb 07, 2014 2:57 pm

Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
Tristan looked at Eric. "That's because it's not obvious to me... I'm not from around here." He explained, before going back to his task. Five cuts on the left hand, six on the right. "And I'm trying to make them stop stealing things to harm others." He added afterwards. "This is to make sure they don't do it again. Or at least that's what it should do." He explained. "I don't like cutting people's hands off. I don't even like doing this. But someone has to."

"Hey, I'm not from around here either! We got something in common."

Eric locked him up in a hug...well, less of a hug and more of a headlock.

"Stick with Ol' Eric, kid. I can teach you a thing or two. Maybe even how to brighten up this icy personality of yours. Get it? Icy! That's another joke you see. Cause you make ice...first lesson, developing your sense of humor. But we can handle that later."

He released him from the headlock and pointed down the tunnel the others had gone down.

"Onwards!"
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Zarkenis Ultima
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Posts: 43663
Founded: Feb 22, 2011
Democratic Socialists

Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:18 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:"Hey, I'm not from around here either! We got something in common."

Eric locked him up in a hug...well, less of a hug and more of a headlock.

"Stick with Ol' Eric, kid. I can teach you a thing or two. Maybe even how to brighten up this icy personality of yours. Get it? Icy! That's another joke you see. Cause you make ice...first lesson, developing your sense of humor. But we can handle that later."

He released him from the headlock and pointed down the tunnel the others had gone down.

"Onwards!"


"I don't get it..." Tristan mumbled as he followed Eric down the tunnel, putting away the small ice knife he made. He was done with using it, anyway, so for now, he returned to the fairly healthier hobby of making ice figurines. Aldraniri was scouting ahead, so even if there was any danger that required his attention he'd probably get a warning first, anyway.

"So where are you from? I thought that everyone in this group was from Gallia." He asked. "Well, except me."
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Ameriganastan
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 52665
Founded: Jul 01, 2008
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Ameriganastan » Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:38 pm

Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
Ameriganastan wrote:"Hey, I'm not from around here either! We got something in common."

Eric locked him up in a hug...well, less of a hug and more of a headlock.

"Stick with Ol' Eric, kid. I can teach you a thing or two. Maybe even how to brighten up this icy personality of yours. Get it? Icy! That's another joke you see. Cause you make ice...first lesson, developing your sense of humor. But we can handle that later."

He released him from the headlock and pointed down the tunnel the others had gone down.

"Onwards!"


"I don't get it..." Tristan mumbled as he followed Eric down the tunnel, putting away the small ice knife he made. He was done with using it, anyway, so for now, he returned to the fairly healthier hobby of making ice figurines. Aldraniri was scouting ahead, so even if there was any danger that required his attention he'd probably get a warning first, anyway.

"So where are you from? I thought that everyone in this group was from Gallia." He asked. "Well, except me."

"I'm from the Halvefon Sea! True story. Old mom was a fisherman...fisherwoman? She fished. Still fishes by the way. 83 years old and she still refuses to give it up. Stubborn old goat. Anyway, I was born on her fishing vessel in the Halvefon Sea. Says she popped me out, wrapped me up, and hauled in a 35 pound tuna!"

He rolled his left sleeve up, pointing at a tattoo of a fish.

"That's why I got this. Ironically enough, they wouldn't let me join the Navy. Go figure."
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Zarkenis Ultima
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Posts: 43663
Founded: Feb 22, 2011
Democratic Socialists

Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:52 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
"I don't get it..." Tristan mumbled as he followed Eric down the tunnel, putting away the small ice knife he made. He was done with using it, anyway, so for now, he returned to the fairly healthier hobby of making ice figurines. Aldraniri was scouting ahead, so even if there was any danger that required his attention he'd probably get a warning first, anyway.

"So where are you from? I thought that everyone in this group was from Gallia." He asked. "Well, except me."

"I'm from the Halvefon Sea! True story. Old mom was a fisherman...fisherwoman? She fished. Still fishes by the way. 83 years old and she still refuses to give it up. Stubborn old goat. Anyway, I was born on her fishing vessel in the Halvefon Sea. Says she popped me out, wrapped me up, and hauled in a 35 pound tuna!"

He rolled his left sleeve up, pointing at a tattoo of a fish.

"That's why I got this. Ironically enough, they wouldn't let me join the Navy. Go figure."


Tristan blinked, leaving what he was doing.

"...Wait... Your mom... Your mom was a goat?" He asked, dumbfounded. "How... How does a goat fish? How does a goat give birth to a person? How... Do goats usually get that old?" He continued asking, incredulous.

"...Your mom was amazing."
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Ameriganastan
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Posts: 52665
Founded: Jul 01, 2008
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Ameriganastan » Fri Feb 07, 2014 4:04 pm

Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
Tristan blinked, leaving what he was doing.

"...Wait... Your mom... Your mom was a goat?" He asked, dumbfounded. "How... How does a goat fish? How does a goat give birth to a person? How... Do goats usually get that old?" He continued asking, incredulous.

"...Your mom was amazing."

"It's just a saying, snowball. It means she's stubborn. Though I did have a pet goat named Sir Fluffyflanks when I was a kid. Great pet. Croaked when I was 12. We had him for dinner with some roast potatoes. Tasted great. So, what's your story? Any fascinating adventures in your past? Tragic quests? Ex-girlfriends?"

He looked him over.

"Or boyfriends more likely."
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Zarkenis Ultima
Post Czar
 
Posts: 43663
Founded: Feb 22, 2011
Democratic Socialists

Postby Zarkenis Ultima » Fri Feb 07, 2014 9:03 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:"It's just a saying, snowball. It means she's stubborn. Though I did have a pet goat named Sir Fluffyflanks when I was a kid. Great pet. Croaked when I was 12. We had him for dinner with some roast potatoes. Tasted great. So, what's your story? Any fascinating adventures in your past? Tragic quests? Ex-girlfriends?"

He looked him over.

"Or boyfriends more likely."


What did snowballs have to do with anything? And, croaked? Did a frog kill the goat or something like that? Tristan listened to Eric's story with mild interest and much confusion. Apparently, people from the 'Halvefor sea' could be far, far weirder than Gallians. Did people get weirder the further south one went?

"Um... No, I don't think I've had any of those... I don't even know what those are. Except adventures, but I would say this is my first adventure." He explained. Whatever 'boyfriends' or 'girlfriends' were, he doubted he'd had any, and indeed, he hadn't. "As for my story... Well, I come from an island faaar to the north. One day I ran away and found a Gallian expedition that took me along on their way back, and after that all I've done is wander around this odd place and sell ice figurines." He stated.

"Well, until I found these people, anyway."
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Ameriganastan
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 52665
Founded: Jul 01, 2008
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Ameriganastan » Sat Feb 08, 2014 2:39 pm

Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
Ameriganastan wrote:"It's just a saying, snowball. It means she's stubborn. Though I did have a pet goat named Sir Fluffyflanks when I was a kid. Great pet. Croaked when I was 12. We had him for dinner with some roast potatoes. Tasted great. So, what's your story? Any fascinating adventures in your past? Tragic quests? Ex-girlfriends?"

He looked him over.

"Or boyfriends more likely."


What did snowballs have to do with anything? And, croaked? Did a frog kill the goat or something like that? Tristan listened to Eric's story with mild interest and much confusion. Apparently, people from the 'Halvefor sea' could be far, far weirder than Gallians. Did people get weirder the further south one went?

"Um... No, I don't think I've had any of those... I don't even know what those are. Except adventures, but I would say this is my first adventure." He explained. Whatever 'boyfriends' or 'girlfriends' were, he doubted he'd had any, and indeed, he hadn't. "As for my story... Well, I come from an island faaar to the north. One day I ran away and found a Gallian expedition that took me along on their way back, and after that all I've done is wander around this odd place and sell ice figurines." He stated.

"Well, until I found these people, anyway."

"Well there you go! Your first adventure. I remember my first adventure. Me and another soldier named McClintock went into the woods to battle a giant. A real giant. We thought we were hot stuff. Young, dumb, and swords swinging. Well, turns out the giantess was in the middle of a bath. And she didn't appreciate us peeping. Chased us for 15 miles before she gave up. Woo, that was a trip. You can read all about it in..."

He dug around his pockets and produced a journal.

"The Many Exciting Quests of Eric Lumen: Adventurer: Vol. 1. Wait til you get to page 42. Never thought a man could do that with a frying pan and an ear of corn."
Last edited by Ameriganastan on Sat Feb 08, 2014 6:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Neo Arcad
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 11242
Founded: Jan 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Neo Arcad » Sat Feb 08, 2014 6:06 pm

Kassaran wrote:
Constaniana wrote:-snip-

Erosen looked up and snarled. He was flushed red with embarrassment, but discounting what had just happened between the rather now attractive girl next to him and the teleporting into this strange area, he was fully and thoroughly irritated. Now there was the man using the flames in his hands on top of two carrying the body of a dead abomination. He let out a ferocious sounding snarl that reverberated within the chamber and hunching his shoulders up, he moved towards the men who'd entered his presence with such an offensive cadaver.


Natalie more or less froze when they appeared in Hell.

Shut up, it's Hell.

Her reaction was, to be fair, expected considering what had just happened. Somehow, the change in scenery snapped her out of the pheromone-induced haze she'd been in just moments before. It was like a bucket of cold water, really. Still, she was frozen in place by a combination of simply not knowing what to do, and embarrassment, both at having been seen so easily by they group she'd been tracking and defending... and at the "getting caught in the act" thing. She was snapped out of her paralysis by Ero-san, who, presented with a threat (and also no longer pheromonally addled) decided to toss her off of him, and fight demons. Natalie exhaled with a practically comical "whoof" sound. After a moment, she sat up and assessed the situation.
Ostroeuropa wrote:Two shirtless men on a pushback with handlebar moustaches and a kettle conquered India, at 17:04 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. They rolled the bike up the hill and demanded that the natives set about acquiring bureaucratic records.

Des-Bal wrote:Modern politics is a series of assholes and liars trying to be more angry than each other until someone lets a racist epithet slip and they all scatter like roaches.

NSLV wrote:Introducing the new political text from acclaimed author/yak, NEO ARCAD, an exploration of nuclear power in the Middle East and Asia, "Nuclear Penis: He Won't Call You Again".

This is the best region ever. You know you want it.

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Agritum
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 22161
Founded: May 09, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Agritum » Sun Feb 09, 2014 5:22 pm

Constaniana wrote:"Well, I'm guessing what these two are up to isn't for anything good. Harvesting this much blood from demons, of all things? This smells funnier than a barge of rancid milk and trout," Richard said. "That's metaphorical, kid," he clarified, anticipating the white-haired Elemental asking where the food he was smelling was located. "So, are you going to go ahead and confess what you're up to, or do we have to aggressively persuade you?" Richard put held his flaming hand closer to the two men's faces and increasing the intensity of the blaze.

"You can't scare us, fiend! We're already dedicated enough to the revolution to delve into Hell's parlour; do you think the flames in your hand can shake our resolve?" Harald cried, grinning slightly and chuckling. "Your brutal magic savagery will not sa-"

"SHUT UP!" Aldraniri roared, his face starting to redden, and fists clenched at his sides. "You're right, trying to get answers out of you is pointless. Why? Because you're bad people, plain and simple. I don't care about any of that horse crap you say liberating mankind or whatever asinine thing you decide to rant about. You go around stirring up trouble. You wear stupid matching robes trying to look sagely or whatever. You hang around in graveyards and ruined castles and Demonic pocket dimensions. And you kidnap the girl I care about the most!" The ginger's voice had returned to being relatively calm as he listed Watchtower's crimes, but lost its restraint as he brought up Heilaga.

"Girl? What are you talking about? What a ridiculous accusation!" Sam snorted, before his face became well acquainted with Aldraniri's boot. Seeing the ginger get violent, Harald sprang up from the floor, hoping to scurry out of the room, but Aldraniri's fists got to him first.

'"Right. The bastards came from down this tunnel here. Shouldn't be so difficult to follow it down to find where they've got the demons they're bleeding dry, wipe out their friends, and collapse this Inferno like we planned to do," Aldraniri noted, drawing his sword again and walking down the tunnel Harald and Sam had emerged from.

"Aldraniri, stop!" Charlie yelled from behind, trying to catch up with the redheaded elemental. "If you act so reckless, you'll only get yourself hurt or killed! So, stop, take a deep breath, and reflect on the actions you are going to take right now, and on their possible consequences. You'll quickly notice that you are acting on an highly irrational impulse, and that you should better suppress said impulse, unless you want to undermine your main goal: rescuing your fiancée."

Charlie stopped, breathing from the fatigue. "Understood?"

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Constaniana
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 25822
Founded: Mar 10, 2012
Democratic Socialists

Postby Constaniana » Sun Feb 09, 2014 6:49 pm

"What? I'm not being reckless! I'm just moving ahead quickly to punch the grey scumbags instead of spending five years in a pointless interrogation and philosophical discussion about thievery and the existential worth of demons or whatever rubbish was going on back there!" Aldraniri pouted, though he stopped going down the tunnel for now. The Northemen blacksmith took a deep breath like Charlie had suggested. "...wait, did you say fiancée?" Aldraniri's cheeks began reddening. "We're...Heilaga and I...we're...uh...not like that...really! I mean, we're just sixteen and getting married that early is completely ridiculous and not going to happen for a couple years and I'm being completely serious and we're...really not like that yet...uh..."

"Aldraniri, it's blatantly obvious what you think about Heilaga. I don't think a simple platonic bond between two similarly-aged neighbours would compel you to run away on a wild goose chase across the world for one attractive girl. You certainly want to move beyond being just her childhood friend. Not that I'm saying it's bad. She certainly looks like quite a catch," said Kroisoto, reaching the head of the group and stopping beside the Wind Elemental. "And Charlie's absolutely right about your behaviour. Barreling down the corridor with your sword drawn, not bothering with any attempt at stealth at all sounds like a textbook example of recklessness to me."

"Who asked you?" Aldraniri grumbled. "And besides Kroisoto, it's blatantly obvious what you think about Charlie. I don't think a simple academic respect between two fancifully educated people would compel you to cheerfully agree with her and take interest in whatever she's engaged in at the moment. You certainly want to have six babies with each other," Aldraniri shot back, "See, I can use spiffy words and make assumptions too!" Aldraniri cried triumphantly.
Last edited by Constaniana on Sun Feb 09, 2014 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ameriganastan wrote:I work hard to think of those ludicrous Eric adventure stories, but I don't think I'd have come up with rescuing a three armed alchemist from goblin-monkeys in a million years.

Kudos.

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