Elfen High 2: Gotterdammerung

[Vesperis]

There was a lot of magic in the world Jade and Lana had just entered. That made weird shit happen.

Like Jade suddenly growing frizzy red hair and a surprised green lizard on her shoulder.

"The fuck?" Asked the lizard.

"The fuckity fuck?" Lana asked right back, taking a few steps away from her now drastically changed teacher. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head, but still the image was the same. Had she taken something before she left, or was it just the world that's as making things this trippy. "Oh hell no, I knew I should have stayed in bed today."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

There was a lot of magic in the world Jade and Lana had just entered. That made weird shit happen.

Like Jade suddenly growing frizzy red hair and a surprised green lizard on her shoulder.

"The fuck?" Asked the lizard.

"The fuckity fuck?" Lana asked right back, taking a few steps away from her now drastically changed teacher. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head, but still the image was the same. Had she taken something before she left, or was it just the world that's as making things this trippy. "Oh hell no, I knew I should have stayed in bed today."

"Fuckity fuck yourself. Preferably with her." The lizard leered.

If they glanced to their left, they'd notice an empty yellow school bus.

[Individuality-ness]

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Ms. Fen. Sir William Edward Galahad Nilark, but that's a bloody mouthful, so you can just stick with William," the Yormshireman replied, returning Excalibur to its sheath. "But yeah, I suppose I'd be up for a drink now too. Although hopefully since this is a human pub they'd have good proper stuff instead of the brackish poisonous "beer" I got the last time I tried drinking demon alcohol."

"Proper 'stuff'?" Now Divia was confused. "What do you mean by 'proper stuff', Sir William?"

[Agritum]

Hilde came back from the bar with two massive mugs of pale lager, which she promptly deposed on the table with a loud thud, before using one mug to push the other one towards William in a rude display of kindness. Sitting down, the German took a long drink from her own mug, before cleaning her mouth and starting to speak.

"So, Polynesian girl, you're an human, right? I guess you'd like to join my party, then." Hilde said, taking a pamphlet from her pocket and handling it over to Fen. The pamphlet depicted the party's platform, purged of the more unsavoury and politically incorrect elements of it.
"So? You like it?"

[The Inritus Extraho]

"The fuckity fuck?" Lana asked right back, taking a few steps away from her now drastically changed teacher. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head, but still the image was the same. Had she taken something before she left, or was it just the world that's as making things this trippy. "Oh hell no, I knew I should have stayed in bed today."

"Fuckity fuck yourself. Preferably with her." The lizard leered.

If they glanced to their left, they'd notice an empty yellow school bus.

Jade groaned. "You had to tempt whatever Fae are left here, didn't you, Lana." she said sadly. "This is going to take ages to fix, if it's even possible." She picked up the lizard, and tossed it over to the schoolbus uncaringly. "Seriously, this is the kind of shit I expect the ISSR to get into, but I... ugh, Crowley." she said, using the headmaster's name as an expletive.

[Constaniana]

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Ms. Fen. Sir William Edward Galahad Nilark, but that's a bloody mouthful, so you can just stick with William," the Yormshireman replied, returning Excalibur to its sheath. "But yeah, I suppose I'd be up for a drink now too. Although hopefully since this is a human pub they'd have good proper stuff instead of the brackish poisonous "beer" I got the last time I tried drinking demon alcohol."

"Proper 'stuff'?" Now Divia was confused. "What do you mean by 'proper stuff', Sir William?"

Sir Nilark chuckled a bit. "Ale that doesn't have little cockroach bits swimming around in it and doesn't try to dissolve your intestines, lass," he said, smiling as Hilde offered him a drink. "Thanks Hilde," William added, taking a sip from his mug.

[Vesperis]

"Fuckity fuck yourself. Preferably with her." The lizard leered.

If they glanced to their left, they'd notice an empty yellow school bus.

Jade groaned. "You had to tempt whatever Fae are left here, didn't you, Lana." she said sadly. "This is going to take ages to fix, if it's even possible." She picked up the lizard, and tossed it over to the schoolbus uncaringly. "Seriously, this is the kind of shit I expect the ISSR to get into, but I... ugh, Crowley." she said, using the headmaster's name as an expletive.

"You're saying this is my fault? Really?" Lana crossed her arms and shook her head at the giant yellow school bus, every faint memory of exploring the solar system coming back to her as she did so. Even the little lizard was giving her a disapproving look, fantastic. "I know my damn ancestors are a bit crazy, but that doesn't mean it's my fault."

[Individuality-ness]

"Proper 'stuff'?" Now Divia was confused. "What do you mean by 'proper stuff', Sir William?"

Sir Nilark chuckled a bit. "Ale that doesn't have little cockroach bits swimming around in it and doesn't try to dissolve your intestines, lass," he said, smiling as Hilde offered him a drink. "Thanks Hilde," William added, taking a sip from his mug.

Cockroaches? Divia decided that she didn't really want to know.

"Why were you having Devil's drink?" Devil's drink isn't the name of the drink itself, but a euphemism of her own for all drinks that come from Hell. "Were you forced to against your own will?"

[Nationstatelandsville]

D cleared his throat.

"Angel surgery," he said firmly. If he let Crowley let Aziraphale die, Crowley would blame him. And that would be unwise.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley sighed, turned to Richard and shrugged. "Sorry about this." he apologised.

He then punched Richard directly in the head, knocking the boy unconcious. It was quick, easy and he'd hardly notice a thing - Crowley will heal off any potential concussions or whatnot. None of you care.

Crowley then wrapped a new rope around Richard's hand, connecting it with Crowley's own. The other two ropes connected from Crowley's turso to Calliel and Aziraphale. Crowley dragged Richard with the rope into the circle he had drawn. He took a few deep breaths...

And then started coughing up blood as his left eye actually exploded. Blood started to pour out of it as Crowley covered it with his left hand. "Ah...didn't fully expect that." he said, gripping the edge of Calliel's table with his right hand as both angels shook violently, electricity zapping around throughout the whole room. "Franklin!" Crowley barked, using D's real name in a rare moment of true seriousness. "GET YOUR MOTHER!"

[Constaniana]

Cockroaches? Divia decided that she didn't really want to know.

"Why were you having Devil's drink?" Devil's drink isn't the name of the drink itself, but a euphemism of her own for all drinks that come from Hell. "Were you forced to against your own will?"

"Well, not really, no," William admitted. "I was in a bar in El Paso a few years ago, and wound up in a drinking contest with this arrogant frog-the smelly, slimy ugly sort, not the type that goes ribbit, mind you. I honestly don't know why he was there. Perhaps he was a masochist and wanted to find some Mexicans to beat him up like the sequel to Cinco De Maya. Anyways, the Frenchman was much more drunk than me, and turned out to be a rather stupid drunk. I bet a football scarf I got at Ibrox, and he bet a bloody €200!" The knight laughed and shook his head, still finding that situation amusing.

"He tried poisoning my drink with Mexican water, thinking that would make me partake in his national sport and surrender, but my body just handles things like toxins and viruses much better than other people, so I brushed it off. He didn't have the same superior immune system to resist the awfulness of the beer and chucked up a few buckets before nearly passing out, and tried to claim I was cheating somehow. So, I hit him in the face with a bar stool, took the euros he promised me and walked out."

William took another gulp from his tankard, grinning and leaning back in his seat a bit. "You know, I should write a country western song about that. Maybe throw in some trucks and close family going to prison."

[Individuality-ness]

Cockroaches? Divia decided that she didn't really want to know.

"Why were you having Devil's drink?" Devil's drink isn't the name of the drink itself, but a euphemism of her own for all drinks that come from Hell. "Were you forced to against your own will?"

"Well, not really, no," William admitted. "I was in a bar in El Paso a few years ago, and wound up in a drinking contest with this arrogant frog-the smelly, slimy ugly sort, not the type that goes ribbit, mind you. I honestly don't know why he was there. Perhaps he was a masochist and wanted to find some Mexicans to beat him up like the sequel to Cinco De Maya. Anyways, the Frenchman was much more drunk than me, and turned out to be a rather stupid drunk. I bet a football scarf I got at Ibrox, and he bet a bloody €200!" The knight laughed and shook his head, still finding that situation amusing.

"He tried poisoning my drink with Mexican water, thinking that would make me partake in his national sport and surrender, but my body just handles things like toxins and viruses much better than other people, so I brushed it off. He didn't have the same superior immune system to resist the awfulness of the beer and chucked up a few buckets before nearly passing out, and tried to claim I was cheating somehow. So, I hit him in the face with a bar stool, took the euros he promised me and walked out."

William took another gulp from his tankard, grinning and leaning back in his seat a bit. "You know, I should write a country western song about that. Maybe throw in some trucks and close family going to prison."

"Mexican water? Why would that cause you to surrender or whatnot?"

Note to self: do not visit Mexico, ever.

Where is Mexico anyways?

This is what happens when you're terrible at geography in general.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Crowley sighed, turned to Richard and shrugged. "Sorry about this." he apologised.

He then punched Richard directly in the head, knocking the boy unconcious. It was quick, easy and he'd hardly notice a thing - Crowley will heal off any potential concussions or whatnot. None of you care.

Crowley then wrapped a new rope around Richard's hand, connecting it with Crowley's own. The other two ropes connected from Crowley's turso to Calliel and Aziraphale. Crowley dragged Richard with the rope into the circle he had drawn. He took a few deep breaths...

And then started coughing up blood as his left eye actually exploded. Blood started to pour out of it as Crowley blinked his other, now reddened and throbbing eye. "Ah...didn't fully expect that." he said, gripping the edge of Calliel's table as both angels shook violently, electricity zapping around throughout the whole room. "Franklin!" Crowley barked, using D's real name in a rare moment of true seriousness. "GET YOUR MOTHER!"

"I, uh..." D said, fumbling with a cellphone - he had found it necessary to carry one, no matter how outdated, for business practices that required two conversations at once. He also quite liked taking pictures when no one noticed, which was exceedingly difficult (not to emotion painful) to do when your eye flashed.

"Right!" he said, smacking the "1" button on speed dial. This likely meant he was the only human being who still had speed dial, or buttons.

---

"LIFE IS A HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHWAY!" Lewis moaned, standing on the bar and singing into a knife had just removed from a Glaswegian's gullet, "I WANNA' RIDE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLL NIGHT LONG!"

Smack!

"Hey, lady," the bartender growled, lifting his hand from the table, "buy something or fuck the fuck off."

The bartender suddenly frowned, feeling a disturbance in the Scottish Force. Some bastard had been stealing their lines. He would have to look into that later.

The bartender's demands were ignored by the brown woman before him, who stared dazedly at the annoying fuck prancing on the bar. The bartender would've argued with him, but he had just seen the guy hospitalize seven Ood with a toothpick and some hot sauce.

"Hey, lady!" the bartender shoted, grabbing Megan by the face and turning her to face him, "Buy so-"

The bartender flew backwards into his rack of glasses. Megan drew her fist back, to the silence of the bar.

"Damn!" Lewis giggled madly, "Hey, Hamish! Buy her a drink!"

"My name is Chri-" objected a Scotsman.

"Hamish," Lewis growled, "buy her a drink."

Hamish, as he was now known, pissed himself and scurried up to buy Megan a drink. She nodded at him and ducked out of the pub, standing outside.

She immediately fell to her knees and vomited on the pavement, leaning against the door.

"What?" she demanded, answering the call to her contact lens.

"I HAVE NO DAMN IDEA!" D shouted.

[Constaniana]

"Mexican water? Why would that cause you to surrender or whatnot?"

Note to self: do not visit Mexico, ever.

Where is Mexico anyways?

This is what happens when you're terrible at geography in general.

"Because it makes tu neccesitas ir al baño a whole bloody lot, and I'd be more worried about not dying than winning a bet. If you're ever in Mexico, don't drink the water. Not one drop. Just bring it in in bottles from the US or whatever country you left from to visit México," Sir Nilark explained.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Henry sat back down at the table, bringing a tap water for Divia and German beers for everyone else. He glanced around at them. "Drink up. We'll be heading out soon to the ghost towns."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Eamon, Francois and Alice had all gotten very drunk in that Scottish pub. Very drunk, I must restate.

Alice had staggered through a dimensional portal in space-time, finding herself in a yellow school bus on a different dimension. This, was, of course, the same bus that Jane and Lana were right next to. Alice would notice a small green lizard thrown into the bus and falling right on her face.

So there's that.

---

Ireland
Brazeneck, head of FU (great acronym), was standing over a still drunken Francois and Eamon. "Get your asses together." he said gruffly.

[Nude East Ireland]

Eamon, Francois and Alice had all gotten very drunk in that Scottish pub. Very drunk, I must restate.

Alice had staggered through a dimensional portal in space-time, finding herself in a yellow school bus on a different dimension. This, was, of course, the same bus that Jane and Lana were right next to. Alice would notice a small green lizard thrown into the bus and falling right on her face.

So there's that.

Alice grabbed the lizard and threw it across the bus.

"Fucking gross!" she shrieked, as she fell into a seat. "Holy shit, that was disgusting. That was... ew."

Brazeneck, head of FU (great acronym), was standing over a still drunken Francois and Eamon. "Get your asses together." he said gruffly.

Francois lifted himself up and sighed. "Henry," he said, "What... what's the matter? Is the school on fire? Holy shit, where's the school?!"

Francois grabbed a barstool and swung at Eamon, hitting the boy in the head and knocking him over. "Oh Christ, oh Christ, the school is gone. What is the Taoiseach going to say? We're all fucked, aren't we?"

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Eamon, Francois and Alice had all gotten very drunk in that Scottish pub. Very drunk, I must restate.

Alice had staggered through a dimensional portal in space-time, finding herself in a yellow school bus on a different dimension. This, was, of course, the same bus that Jane and Lana were right next to. Alice would notice a small green lizard thrown into the bus and falling right on her face.

So there's that.

Alice grabbed the lizard and threw it across the bus.

"Fucking gross!" she shrieked, as she fell into a seat. "Holy shit, that was disgusting. That was... ew."

Brazeneck, head of FU (great acronym), was standing over a still drunken Francois and Eamon. "Get your asses together." he said gruffly.

Francois lifted himself up and sighed. "Henry," he said, "What... what's the matter? Is the school on fire? Holy shit, where's the school?!"

Francois grabbed a barstool and swung at Eamon, hitting the boy in the head and knocking him over. "Oh Christ, oh Christ, the school is gone. What is the Taoiseach going to say? We're all fucked, aren't we?"

"The school is fine." Brazeneck said. "The Taoiseach, however-"

Then, a shadow fell over them as a tall (six foot three inch) Irish man swooped into the room. And it really did feel like a swoop. He gave a thin smile. "Hello." he said quietly.

"Mr. Taoiseach, sir?" Brazeneck said with mild surprise. "I didn't know you'd meet us in person."

"Yes, I was rather hoping against that myself...but I'd like to comment, my friends, that something has occurred. You see, what has occurred is that some bloody cunts have acted like bloody cunts and my fucking summer home down in Hell is now gone. Now why the fuck did that happen?"

"Not entirely sure, sir, but-"

"Not sure, eh? Not sure? I'll just have to kill all of you then, won't I?! That's a joke, by the way, not a very nice one, a nasty one, which masks a lot of very negative feelings about this fucking school." growled out the other man. He may not have been actually joking. The Taoiseach was a dangerous individual.

"Not exactly funny, sir." commented Brazeneck calmly, being also a dangerous individual.

"I'm an elected official of the people. Clearly they decided it was funny. Now, I need you to find what the hell happened to it. Go down to Hell and give it a look-around for me."

"With all due respect, sir, it'll take time and we have other things to-"

"Nmfp."

"What?"

"Nmfp. N-M-F-P. Not My Fucking Problem. Get on that shit."

[Nude East Ireland]

Alice grabbed the lizard and threw it across the bus.

"Fucking gross!" she shrieked, as she fell into a seat. "Holy shit, that was disgusting. That was... ew."


Francois lifted himself up and sighed. "Henry," he said, "What... what's the matter? Is the school on fire? Holy shit, where's the school?!"

Francois grabbed a barstool and swung at Eamon, hitting the boy in the head and knocking him over. "Oh Christ, oh Christ, the school is gone. What is the Taoiseach going to say? We're all fucked, aren't we?"

"The school is fine." Brazeneck said. "The Taoiseach, however-"

Then, a shadow fell over them as a tall (six foot three inch) Irish man swooped into the room. And it really did feel like a swoop. He gave a thin smile. "Hello." he said quietly.

"Mr. Taoiseach, sir?" Brazeneck said with mild surprise. "I didn't know you'd meet us in person."

"Yes, I was rather hoping against that myself...but I'd like to comment, my friends, that something has occurred. You see, what has occurred is that some bloody cunts have acted like bloody cunts and my fucking summer home down in Hell is now gone. Now why the fuck did that happen?"

"Not entirely sure, sir, but-"

"Not sure, eh? Not sure? I'll just have to kill all of you then, won't I?! That's a joke, by the way, not a very nice one, a nasty one, which masks a lot of very negative feelings about this fucking school." growled out the other man. He may not have been actually joking. The Taoiseach was a dangerous individual.

"Not exactly funny, sir." commented Brazeneck calmly, being also a dangerous individual.

"I'm an elected official of the people. Clearly they decided it was funny. Now, I need you to find what the hell happened to it. Go down to Hell and give it a look-around for me."

"With all due respect, sir, it'll take time and we have other things to-"

"Nmfp."

"What?"

"Nmfp. N-M-F-P. Not My Fucking Problem. Get on that shit."

Francois saluted. "Yes, sir, of course we will."

He leaned close to Henry. "Don't worry, the boy and I will take care of this. Yuk it up with the Taoiseach for a little while, and we'll find out whether shit hit the fan or not."

[Agritum]

Henry sat back down at the table, bringing a tap water for Divia and German beers for everyone else. He glanced around at them. "Drink up. We'll be heading out soon to the ghost towns."

Hilde, who had just finished her own mug, proceeded to grab the one which had been brought by by Henry, and take a deep sip from it, not even waiting for the foam to fizzle out. "Shouldn't we buy some guns before trying anything serious in Hell, hellspawn? While I am confident in our magical skills, it is always wise to pack some firepower with us, especially if we have to travel in the open." Hilde said, continuing to drink.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Henry sat back down at the table, bringing a tap water for Divia and German beers for everyone else. He glanced around at them. "Drink up. We'll be heading out soon to the ghost towns."

Hilde, who had just finished her own mug, proceeded to grab the one which had been brought by by Henry, and take a deep sip from it, not even waiting for the foam to fizzle out. "Shouldn't we buy some guns before trying anything serious in Hell, hellspawn? While I am confident in our magical skills, it is always wise to pack some firepower with us, especially if we have to travel in the open." Hilde said, continuing to drink.

The demon nodded. "I've bought some guns, don't worry." he said. "It's in my truck. I parked it outside the train station." he explained. "I was prepared for any eventuality."

[Vesperis]

Eamon, Francois and Alice had all gotten very drunk in that Scottish pub. Very drunk, I must restate.

Alice had staggered through a dimensional portal in space-time, finding herself in a yellow school bus on a different dimension. This, was, of course, the same bus that Jane and Lana were right next to. Alice would notice a small green lizard thrown into the bus and falling right on her face.

So there's that.

---

Ireland
Brazeneck, head of FU (great acronym), was standing over a still drunken Francois and Eamon. "Get your asses together." he said gruffly.

Lana stopped her argumentative rant as another, adding to the growing list of unwelcome guests finding their way in. She opened her mouth to talk, another sarcastic remark possibly, but she shut it and plopped down on the ground with a thud. She buried her face in her hands and made a groaning noise. "God [i]damnit[i]."

[Nude East Ireland]

Eamon, Francois and Alice had all gotten very drunk in that Scottish pub. Very drunk, I must restate.

Alice had staggered through a dimensional portal in space-time, finding herself in a yellow school bus on a different dimension. This, was, of course, the same bus that Jane and Lana were right next to. Alice would notice a small green lizard thrown into the bus and falling right on her face.

So there's that.

---

Ireland
Brazeneck, head of FU (great acronym), was standing over a still drunken Francois and Eamon. "Get your asses together." he said gruffly.

Lana stopped her argumentative rant as another, adding to the growing list of unwelcome guests finding their way in. She opened her mouth to talk, another sarcastic remark possibly, but she shut it and plopped down on the ground with a thud. She buried her face in her hands and made a groaning noise. "God [i]damnit[i]."

Alice climbed out of the bus, and sighed. "Hey, fuck you," she replied. "I've had a rough night. This is the least of my worries."

She wiped off her clothes, though she wasn't very thorough. "Now, where am I? Who are you?"

[Vesperis]

Lana stopped her argumentative rant as another, adding to the growing list of unwelcome guests finding their way in. She opened her mouth to talk, another sarcastic remark possibly, but she shut it and plopped down on the ground with a thud. She buried her face in her hands and made a groaning noise. "God damnit[i]."

Alice climbed out of the bus, and sighed. "Hey, fuck you," she replied. "I've had a rough night. This is the least of my worries."

She wiped off her clothes, though she wasn't very thorough. "Now, where am I? Who are you?"

Lana looked up suddenly and pushed her hands to her sides angrily, looking up at the girl with an expression that plainly said 'fuck you' in return. "Oh you've had a rough night, [i]excuse me." She rolled her eyes. "You tell me where I am, because I can't tell anymore."

[Nude East Ireland]

Alice climbed out of the bus, and sighed. "Hey, fuck you," she replied. "I've had a rough night. This is the least of my worries."

She wiped off her clothes, though she wasn't very thorough. "Now, where am I? Who are you?"

Lana looked up suddenly and pushed her hands to her sides angrily, looking up at the girl with an expression that plainly said 'fuck you' in return. "Oh you've had a rough night, excuse me." She rolled her eyes. "You tell me where I am, because I can't tell anymore."

Alice was a drunk pyrotechnic from a magic school in Ireland.

Promptly becoming enraged by this disrespect, she stomped over to Lana and slapped her across the face. "Listen here, fuck-face; I'm a prestigious member of Faerie University. Now you shut that cock hole and tell me where I am, or I'll boil the liquid in your eyes."