Name: Marowit "Mary" Wendish
Gender: Male
Age (Actual): 1815
Age (Appears): 24
Race: Slavic deity
Appearance: Powergrid/Powers:INT 8
STR 1
SPD 3
DUR 4
FS 4
CHR 3
Lv. 7 Psychosomatic Illusion - Can cast a powerful illusion capable of causing physical effects on the target.
Lv. 5 Nightmare Manipulation - Can enter, manipulate, project, alter, and control nightmares of others.
Lv. 2 RegenerationWeaknesses: He is practically defenseless in his human form, and his true form is extremely weak to sunlight. The strength of his true form is also diminished if moonlight is particularly intense. Bottom line, keep him away from intense natural light. Also, dreamcatchers give him panic attacks.
Personality: The Wendish god of nightmares is remarkable for his thick, rather demeaning sarcasm. It is quite a rare occurrence to see him smile, let alone laugh, and he has been known to be extremely cynical. Skeptic about everything in the Universe, even his own divinity, Marowit is very intellectual, not prone to engage in phyisical combat when avoidable. While he has been known to possess a certain sense of honor and solidarity towards those closest to him, most of his acquaintances see him as a shy and somewhat bitter person. Marowit is not particularly antisocial, but he does comes off as emotionally detached from most humans, mostly because he regards the majority of humanity as, put quite simply, stupid. He takes great pleasure in delivering backhanded tongue lashings to those he deems inferior, although he has occasionally turned his sharp and deprecating sense of humor against himself. It is rare for him to wrong someone, and will only be overtly malicious towards very few individuals. Marowit has an extremely low self-esteem, a direct product of a life of being ignored or underestimated by society. The fact that practically no one knows of his divine nature, let alone worship him, and that so few people appreciate his centuries of academic work, has taken a toll on his once more proud and benign nature. On top of the inferiority complex that was born from the many failures in his long life, he also suffers from a deepseated fear of commitment, after his many unsuccessful marriages and other humilliating defeats in the realm of romance.
He is fond of fluffy white kittens, brownies, multi-fruit juice, jasmine tea, long walks through the forest, Edgar Allan Poe stories, Stephen Sondheim musicals, yaoi and traveling.
History: Born somewhere in Poland a long, long time ago, Marowit was, since his very birth, the Wendish god of nightmares, a career he was most gleeful to embrace. Over the years, his fellow Wendish deities and him dedicated their days to being worshipped by the Wends. It was an easy job, requiring little other than a few vague miracles and apparitions now and then to keep faith high. In exchange, the twenty-two gods and goddesses received massive amounts of offerings, and the occasional birthday party.
However, not all was perfect in this seemingly ideal life. While "good" Wendish deities like Triglau and Karewit were quite popular, sometimes even matching the Norse gods in wealth and number of worshippers, Marowit remained mostly a side note, along with most of the "evil" deities. Not many people were fond of praying to the god of nightmares, let alone leaving him offerings.
As the years went by, and the worship of pagan deities in general began to decline, Marowit found himself increasingly impoverished and lonely until, one day, he was finally unemployed.
With Christianity ruling over the Europe of the Middle Ages, Marowit and the other Wendish gods had no choice but to start living semi-normal lives in Germany and Poland, as disgraced and forgotten deities.
Marowit himself, intrigued from an early age by human nature, became the world's first anthropologist, spending decades traveling all over Earth, and writing dozens of books that nobody read, because no one wanted to read a book written by a man who claimed to be the Wendish god of nightmares.
The disappointment that came with his academic failure only served to fuel his feelings of worthlessness, even despite the support of his fellow Wendish gods, who became his only friends and family.
Following the loss of their fame and prestige, Marowit and the other Wendish gods moved to Great Britain, hoping the Celtic culture would provide them with many job opportunities. However, they soon realized that even Great Britain had been conquered by Christianity and, yet again, they were forced to live simple lives.
As the years went by, the more famous pantheons fought against each other and wars torn Europe apart, while the Wendish gods became poets, merchants, farmers, soldiers or scholars. A few even joined the clergy.
Marowit, on the other hand, no longer bound by his duties as a god, began to explore the realm of romance, leading to his first marriage in 1106 a.D., when he was wedded to Saint Morwenna. The marriage ended after three weeks, due to extreme religious differences. Morwenna was a devoted Catholic, while Marowit had converted to Judaism.
With such a tragic ending to his first marriage, Marowit began to develop the first few glimmers of cynicism and nonchalant hedonism. By the time Anne Boleyn was beheaded, Marowit had married and divorced two men, and his deadpan snarky attitude had completely developed, making him the cold, highbrow soul of every celebration.
Eventually, he got his first official diploma in Cambridge and began to lecture the uneducated masses on evolution, gravity and the Big Bang before it was cool. All of it, while verbally humilliating his students and detractors, and being constantly subjected to attempts to burn him at the stake.
Marowit's life, from his arrival to England to a few weeks ago, can be summarized like this:
2 wives
6 husbands
8 divorces
0 children from any marriage
29 failed attempts to burn him at the stake for witchcraft, heresy and blasphemy
15 failed attempts by the Catholic Church to exorcise him
9 failed attempts by Muslim governments to stone him to death for apostasy
52 books written
2 books published
12 diplomas
7 Nobel Prizes denied on grounds of being "too snarky"
9 words in his Wikipedia entry
17 nights of passion with Loki
1 pregnancy from a night of passion with Loki
3 drinking contests with Thor
4 threesomes involving an angel and a demon
4 successful battles of sarcasm with Uriel
1 unsuccessful battle of sarcasm with Crowley
149 years as professor at Cambridge
84 years as professor at Harvard
29 years as professor at Oxford
2 hours as professor at Yale
30 minutes as professor in Texas
1 public lynching in Texas
2.201 students traumatized
35 students shagged
39.203 bottles of vodka drunk
63 pounds of tobacco smoked
10 pounds of marijuana smoked
2.948 viewings of Tim Burton films in a row
7 languages invented
3 hunting trips with Teddy Roosevelt
2 dinners with Adolf Hitler
3 glasses of vodka with Joseph Stalin
1 shouting contest with Bill O'Reilly
2 instances of making Ayn Rand cry
21 cases of his sarcastic suggestions being interpretated as truthful and leading to war, genocide and other really bad things
91 wars witnessed with a quirked eyebrow while comfortably sitting on the grass sipping jasmine tea
Finally, after surviving through a millennia of personal mediocrity and increasingly depressing birthday parties, Marowit eventually came to fall into the clutches of Elfen High, who saw much potential in enslaving...ahem...hiring a thousand-years-old god and anthropologist as teacher. Despite Marowit's rather emphatic refusal to teach History to "the intellectual equivalent of amebas", he was hired as the school's new History teacher.
Now, the immortal Wendish god-turned-anthropologist with an inferiorit complex is about to celebrate his one-thousand-eight-hundred-and-sixteenth birthday with his fellow Wendish gods, who apparently still remain oblivious to the fact that he really does not like celebrating his birthday, let alone with them. All the while, he is tasked with reluctantly teaching the students of Elfen High the basics of human and non-human history, so as to make sure that they do not make the same stupid mistakes again.
Unbeknownst to him, however, adventure is always lurking beneath the supernatural institution, and soon he may find himself taking part in an epic quest which may or may not lead to reclaiming his long lost status as the God of Nightmares.
(cue in dramatic music)
Marowit: "Remind me again how you came up with my fascinating character?"
Liri: "I wanted to make a male version of Joanne, from 'Company'."
Marowit: "You truly are the most original and imaginative man I've ever known."
Liri: "You are making a terrible first impression, Mary."
Marowit: "Bad writers will do that."
...
Liri: "Wow...you are a cunt."
Marowit: "You have no idea."
RP Sample: How about no?