Nightkill the Emperor - father, martial artist, engineer, medical degree, recovering drug addict, avid watcher of YouTube Flash animation skits.
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by Nationstatelandsville » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:39 pm
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:41 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nationstatelandsville » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:42 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:I don't have a medical degree, actually, I fucked up and was removed before I could.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:43 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:51 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:54 pm
How could you forget someone who was naked first day of term?
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Individuality-ness » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:56 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:How could you forget someone who was naked first day of term?
You'd be amazed.
by Nude East Ireland » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:56 pm
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:57 pm
Nude East Ireland wrote:Lieutenant Fischer is perhaps the only Lawful Good character I've ever created.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nude East Ireland » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:58 pm
by Nationstatelandsville » Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:59 pm
by Individuality-ness » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:01 pm
by Zarkenis Ultima » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:02 pm
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:03 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nationstatelandsville » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:03 pm
by Individuality-ness » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:04 pm
by Condunum » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:25 pm
by Olthar » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:26 pm
by Individuality-ness » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:26 pm
Condunum wrote:This is the first one shot I've done. I think it's good for mediocre work"Open your textbooks to the beginning of chapter five. We're going to start reviewing b-"
The teacher was interrupted by the would of a lout fart. Yeah, a fart. It's high school, the fuck ya gonna do?
After the giggling subsided, he continued, "Okay... Anyhow... We're going to begin study on black holes. Again. Because someone can't seem to understand the concept."
Neil shifted in his seat a bit. He understood the concept, the teacher was just wrong. Dead wrong.
Then the door burst open, and a [url=t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSlILGFstWoQ3-JBXrpfMlfCGHwOBdvZBbndDZt191zhueZQr2mzA]very scary looking woman[/url] stepped in. "Neil deGrasse Tyson? She boomed with a loud, screeching voice. The students immediately around her covered their ears, and one passed out.
"Y-yes?" Neil responded.
"My name is Agent Cillary Hinton. Come with me." She walked briskly over to him and dragged him out of the room.
"Hey, you can't just take my st-" The teacher was again cut off by a fart and more giggling. "Fuck this, I quit." and he walked out.
Skip boring shit. They arrive at a secret base that only 7 people know about and 3000 people work in.
"What am I doing here?" asked Tyson, who had been ignored this whole time because protagonists aren't allowed to talk off-camera. He shouted again, "WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN ME HERE?!"
Cillary glared at him, and he sat down. "You're here because we need your help. We caught wind of your essay, and you're the first person to actually understand black holes. At least, this one."
"This one? I don't get it."
"Listen, you little punk. I don't have the time to explain this shit to you, and the narrator is tired so I'll make this quick. You're the only person who has ever understood the nature of this black hole. It's forming a few light years away from earth. We know about it right now without being dead because."
"Holy shit."
"I know, cool right?"
"What?!" shouted Neil, "You're sick!"
"My husband is a cheater. I have excuses."
Fuck this shit, I'm too tired for more bickering. They get inside, and some astronomically sized computers stood inside a big room. One of the scientists was playing Pac Man. He quickly shut it off and changed the screen to display a large red object on a black background dotted with little white specs. Stars. It was the forming black hole.
"Holy shit." said Neil.
"It's up to you, dude." said a generic scientist, before going into a private room to hang himself.
Neil walked up to the computer and began to punch in random numbers and buttons. Really, he was just typing fast for show. He had only actually needed to hit three buttons to calibrate and fire the gravity destruction ray.
WOOSH! Loud noises were heard outside, followed by screaming, and then loud bangs all around.
"The fuck just happened?" Asked a scientist.
"I killed Agent Cillary."
Suddenly, the image on the screen changed. The black hole disappeared, and the rubble of a space object was left in it's place.
"Wha... What happened?"
"It was simple," laughed Neil, "Hillary was cloaking an alien invasion ship with a fake black hole. I used your gravity killing ray thingy to reverse the gravity in a four mile area around this mountain for ten seconds - long enough for her to float into the air high enough to die on impact. The resulting traumatic dead she suffered overloaded the fail safe in her cloaking device, which caused a massive explosion within the cloaking field. So the ship was ripped to pieces because they were too stupid to invest in the more shock resistant cloaking field. And that is what the lowest bidder gets you, you sorry pricks."
And then he walked out.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:26 pm
Condunum wrote:This is the first one shot I've done. I think it's good for mediocre work"Open your textbooks to the beginning of chapter five. We're going to start reviewing b-"
The teacher was interrupted by the would of a lout fart. Yeah, a fart. It's high school, the fuck ya gonna do?
After the giggling subsided, he continued, "Okay... Anyhow... We're going to begin study on black holes. Again. Because someone can't seem to understand the concept."
Neil shifted in his seat a bit. He understood the concept, the teacher was just wrong. Dead wrong.
Then the door burst open, and a [url=t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSlILGFstWoQ3-JBXrpfMlfCGHwOBdvZBbndDZt191zhueZQr2mzA]very scary looking woman[/url] stepped in. "Neil deGrasse Tyson? She boomed with a loud, screeching voice. The students immediately around her covered their ears, and one passed out.
"Y-yes?" Neil responded.
"My name is Agent Cillary Hinton. Come with me." She walked briskly over to him and dragged him out of the room.
"Hey, you can't just take my st-" The teacher was again cut off by a fart and more giggling. "Fuck this, I quit." and he walked out.
Skip boring shit. They arrive at a secret base that only 7 people know about and 3000 people work in.
"What am I doing here?" asked Tyson, who had been ignored this whole time because protagonists aren't allowed to talk off-camera. He shouted again, "WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN ME HERE?!"
Cillary glared at him, and he sat down. "You're here because we need your help. We caught wind of your essay, and you're the first person to actually understand black holes. At least, this one."
"This one? I don't get it."
"Listen, you little punk. I don't have the time to explain this shit to you, and the narrator is tired so I'll make this quick. You're the only person who has ever understood the nature of this black hole. It's forming a few light years away from earth. We know about it right now without being dead because."
"Holy shit."
"I know, cool right?"
"What?!" shouted Neil, "You're sick!"
"My husband is a cheater. I have excuses."
Fuck this shit, I'm too tired for more bickering. They get inside, and some astronomically sized computers stood inside a big room. One of the scientists was playing Pac Man. He quickly shut it off and changed the screen to display a large red object on a black background dotted with little white specs. Stars. It was the forming black hole.
"Holy shit." said Neil.
"It's up to you, dude." said a generic scientist, before going into a private room to hang himself.
Neil walked up to the computer and began to punch in random numbers and buttons. Really, he was just typing fast for show. He had only actually needed to hit three buttons to calibrate and fire the gravity destruction ray.
WOOSH! Loud noises were heard outside, followed by screaming, and then loud bangs all around.
"The fuck just happened?" Asked a scientist.
"I killed Agent Cillary."
Suddenly, the image on the screen changed. The black hole disappeared, and the rubble of a space object was left in it's place.
"Wha... What happened?"
"It was simple," laughed Neil, "Hillary was cloaking an alien invasion ship with a fake black hole. I used your gravity killing ray thingy to reverse the gravity in a four mile area around this mountain for ten seconds - long enough for her to float into the air high enough to die on impact. The resulting traumatic dead she suffered overloaded the fail safe in her cloaking device, which caused a massive explosion within the cloaking field. So the ship was ripped to pieces because they were too stupid to invest in the more shock resistant cloaking field. And that is what the lowest bidder gets you, you sorry pricks."
And then he walked out.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:28 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Condunum » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:30 pm
Individuality-ness wrote:Condunum wrote:This is the first one shot I've done. I think it's good for mediocre work"Open your textbooks to the beginning of chapter five. We're going to start reviewing b-"
The teacher was interrupted by the would of a lout fart. Yeah, a fart. It's high school, the fuck ya gonna do?
After the giggling subsided, he continued, "Okay... Anyhow... We're going to begin study on black holes. Again. Because someone can't seem to understand the concept."
Neil shifted in his seat a bit. He understood the concept, the teacher was just wrong. Dead wrong.
Then the door burst open, and a [url=t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSlILGFstWoQ3-JBXrpfMlfCGHwOBdvZBbndDZt191zhueZQr2mzA]very scary looking woman[/url] stepped in. "Neil deGrasse Tyson? She boomed with a loud, screeching voice. The students immediately around her covered their ears, and one passed out.
"Y-yes?" Neil responded.
"My name is Agent Cillary Hinton. Come with me." She walked briskly over to him and dragged him out of the room.
"Hey, you can't just take my st-" The teacher was again cut off by a fart and more giggling. "Fuck this, I quit." and he walked out.
Skip boring shit. They arrive at a secret base that only 7 people know about and 3000 people work in.
"What am I doing here?" asked Tyson, who had been ignored this whole time because protagonists aren't allowed to talk off-camera. He shouted again, "WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN ME HERE?!"
Cillary glared at him, and he sat down. "You're here because we need your help. We caught wind of your essay, and you're the first person to actually understand black holes. At least, this one."
"This one? I don't get it."
"Listen, you little punk. I don't have the time to explain this shit to you, and the narrator is tired so I'll make this quick. You're the only person who has ever understood the nature of this black hole. It's forming a few light years away from earth. We know about it right now without being dead because."
"Holy shit."
"I know, cool right?"
"What?!" shouted Neil, "You're sick!"
"My husband is a cheater. I have excuses."
Fuck this shit, I'm too tired for more bickering. They get inside, and some astronomically sized computers stood inside a big room. One of the scientists was playing Pac Man. He quickly shut it off and changed the screen to display a large red object on a black background dotted with little white specs. Stars. It was the forming black hole.
"Holy shit." said Neil.
"It's up to you, dude." said a generic scientist, before going into a private room to hang himself.
Neil walked up to the computer and began to punch in random numbers and buttons. Really, he was just typing fast for show. He had only actually needed to hit three buttons to calibrate and fire the gravity destruction ray.
WOOSH! Loud noises were heard outside, followed by screaming, and then loud bangs all around.
"The fuck just happened?" Asked a scientist.
"I killed Agent Cillary."
Suddenly, the image on the screen changed. The black hole disappeared, and the rubble of a space object was left in it's place.
"Wha... What happened?"
"It was simple," laughed Neil, "Hillary was cloaking an alien invasion ship with a fake black hole. I used your gravity killing ray thingy to reverse the gravity in a four mile area around this mountain for ten seconds - long enough for her to float into the air high enough to die on impact. The resulting traumatic dead she suffered overloaded the fail safe in her cloaking device, which caused a massive explosion within the cloaking field. So the ship was ripped to pieces because they were too stupid to invest in the more shock resistant cloaking field. And that is what the lowest bidder gets you, you sorry pricks."
And then he walked out.
Title?
by Individuality-ness » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:30 pm
by Condunum » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:31 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Condunum wrote:This is the first one shot I've done. I think it's good for mediocre work"Open your textbooks to the beginning of chapter five. We're going to start reviewing b-"
The teacher was interrupted by the would of a lout fart. Yeah, a fart. It's high school, the fuck ya gonna do?
After the giggling subsided, he continued, "Okay... Anyhow... We're going to begin study on black holes. Again. Because someone can't seem to understand the concept."
Neil shifted in his seat a bit. He understood the concept, the teacher was just wrong. Dead wrong.
Then the door burst open, and a [url=t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSlILGFstWoQ3-JBXrpfMlfCGHwOBdvZBbndDZt191zhueZQr2mzA]very scary looking woman[/url] stepped in. "Neil deGrasse Tyson? She boomed with a loud, screeching voice. The students immediately around her covered their ears, and one passed out.
"Y-yes?" Neil responded.
"My name is Agent Cillary Hinton. Come with me." She walked briskly over to him and dragged him out of the room.
"Hey, you can't just take my st-" The teacher was again cut off by a fart and more giggling. "Fuck this, I quit." and he walked out.
Skip boring shit. They arrive at a secret base that only 7 people know about and 3000 people work in.
"What am I doing here?" asked Tyson, who had been ignored this whole time because protagonists aren't allowed to talk off-camera. He shouted again, "WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN ME HERE?!"
Cillary glared at him, and he sat down. "You're here because we need your help. We caught wind of your essay, and you're the first person to actually understand black holes. At least, this one."
"This one? I don't get it."
"Listen, you little punk. I don't have the time to explain this shit to you, and the narrator is tired so I'll make this quick. You're the only person who has ever understood the nature of this black hole. It's forming a few light years away from earth. We know about it right now without being dead because."
"Holy shit."
"I know, cool right?"
"What?!" shouted Neil, "You're sick!"
"My husband is a cheater. I have excuses."
Fuck this shit, I'm too tired for more bickering. They get inside, and some astronomically sized computers stood inside a big room. One of the scientists was playing Pac Man. He quickly shut it off and changed the screen to display a large red object on a black background dotted with little white specs. Stars. It was the forming black hole.
"Holy shit." said Neil.
"It's up to you, dude." said a generic scientist, before going into a private room to hang himself.
Neil walked up to the computer and began to punch in random numbers and buttons. Really, he was just typing fast for show. He had only actually needed to hit three buttons to calibrate and fire the gravity destruction ray.
WOOSH! Loud noises were heard outside, followed by screaming, and then loud bangs all around.
"The fuck just happened?" Asked a scientist.
"I killed Agent Cillary."
Suddenly, the image on the screen changed. The black hole disappeared, and the rubble of a space object was left in it's place.
"Wha... What happened?"
"It was simple," laughed Neil, "Hillary was cloaking an alien invasion ship with a fake black hole. I used your gravity killing ray thingy to reverse the gravity in a four mile area around this mountain for ten seconds - long enough for her to float into the air high enough to die on impact. The resulting traumatic dead she suffered overloaded the fail safe in her cloaking device, which caused a massive explosion within the cloaking field. So the ship was ripped to pieces because they were too stupid to invest in the more shock resistant cloaking field. And that is what the lowest bidder gets you, you sorry pricks."
And then he walked out.
I have no idea what I just skimmed.
by Zarkenis Ultima » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:31 pm
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