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Personification Life - IC Part VI [open]

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 3:21 pm
by Swith Witherward
The continuing saga of the housemates from hell
(some of them literally)



The background:
This is a continuation for the occupants of the Building. It was founded by Dabfia and continues on as a legacy to his insane mind.

IC Part I - The Beginning.
IC Part Deux - New Building, Same Nonsense.
IC Part III - Island Living for the Holidays.
Part IV - Returned to Building, Oh My Gods!
Part V - Five Golden Threads! (aka Oh My God... They're Breeding!)
Original OOC thread - Locked. Your behind-the-scenes glace at further insanity.
OOC thread Part II - Locked.
OOC Thread Part III - Locked.

To join: visit the OOC thread and submit an app. Someone will come along shortly to approve you (or laugh hysterically at your attempt to join).

The Building Rules:
We have rules? Well, only a few. They're guidelines, really...
  • New characters get an apartment to themselves. You can stay there or eventually find a roomie to share an apartment with.
  • You can play your characters as either serious or light. We're a mixed group.
  • Got a problem with a player? Take it to that player in TG to resolve it.
  • It's a fast-moving thread. It's okay to ask "where is everyone and what happened while I was gone?" in the OOC thread.
  • Please save earth-shattering adventures until the weekends. Earth-shattering would be any side-story that affects the entire house (blowing up the building, planet-wide invasions, world destruction, etc). Minor stuff (zombie attacks, localized plagues, genderbenders, etc) can be ignored by players who are offline.
  • You don't have to play everyday. Play as you can, according to your schedule.
  • What kind of character can I play: We have anthros, velociraptors, gods, demons, angels, cyborgs, robots, magic users and mystical beings, warriors/soldiers/super soldiers, average mortals, A.I.s, thieves, spies, emperors, mad scientists, and whatever Bones and his brothers are. Anime seems to be a big theme, followed by offshoots of various pantheons and fiction.
  • Please don't be a God Mode Sue. We have several powerful characters. They've evolved over time. They will kick your ass if you come in like gangbusters and try to dominate the thread. Look through the character tabs in the post below to gain an understanding of everyone's characters.
  • Please message Swith if you plan to play a god. There are specific guidelines in place to keep things in balance so non-god characters are treated fairly
  • Don't piss the OP off.
We're a fun group that accepts new players all the time. We also have our own Region.

The Apartment Block is a 100% active region with an active Founder and WA Regional Delegate, a brand new off-site forum that's dedicated to role-playing, and friendly . You must be a member of our Region to partake in the off-site forum. Our Region does accept *ACTIVE* puppet nations for that purpose. Click on the icon below for more information.


Attention Players!

The city was destroyed by Drones. We have relocated to the Templar Homeworld for a mini-vacation. There are NO PCs or NPCs remaining in the old city location. Period.

Players who were NOT online after the invasion, your characters were moved to the safe haven and then put on the ship for the Gliese journey.
We are moving to this setting shortly while the city is rebuilt by the OP. ALL characters need to be there or be out of circulation during the rebuild. Period.

The Planet:
Gliese 581 is the Germanic Templars home world. It's set in a future timeline and not in the same solar system, obviously.

The Setting:
Now then, all of the rooms are the same, however, you can customize them and stuff and all of that good jazz... Anyway, here are the places:

Throne Room
Equivalent of the Lobby, where you would enter with a throne in it. Did I mention there was a throne in it? Stay off the Emperor's Thinking Bench.

Located off to the right of the Throne room. Specifically past the first door on your right. Books vary between old paper and leather back to modern pads that read the book to you (now your child too can read and listen to Shakespeare's Macbeth). By the way, it's a huge library with tower stairs leading up to the second floor as well as a balcony that over looks the lower part of the library.

Palace Dining Room
Not much other than it's a huge frikken dining room with plenty to sit. On the left side of the building (Assuming if you were looking at it from the front).

Recreational area
In the back of the building. Includes a dojo and from there, it breaks off into a pool/spa area off to the left, weight room to the right, and Virtual Simulation room directly across the dojo.

Living area
Right side of the building where there are a labyrinth of hallways and rooms.

The place that is two miles long and lays out front of the palace pass it's walls. With it are a Ch'as, a few kiosks and stores, and directly across is a parking garage for air vehicles.

Side note
Doors are automatic unless locked. Lights tend to come on down the hallway or room you enter, and kitchen is pretty much off limits since food is either brought to your room or to the dining room (And by food I do not mean the people bringing it). In the far back of the building there is a nice garden.

Getting There:
CRUISE! Yeah baby! You're taking a ship through time. Players who are NOT online when the ship leaves... we can either say your characters boarded the ship, or Minerva or Klaus or Swith can bring you to Gliese 581. I'd rather not have to ferry people.

Do I hafta go?:
This is optional. You don't have to leave. However, I won't be RPing the rebuild. It's too much. Your characters won't have anything to do because they're stuck behind Ogoti's forcefield and can't leave. You have a tent. You have a chow hall. There aren't any ponds, you can't touch the ocean because it's polluted at the moment, there isn't any tv or radios, you can't hunt cultists for souls/blood/entertainment (they'll kill you) and you're surrounded by nasty things which will eat you even if you could leave the forcefield... and the sun sometimes shines. It has all the fun of a concentration camp minus gas chambers and furnaces. Seriously. Staying will NOT give you a leg up on anything. We'll be there a week minimum. Possibly longer if you guys are having a ton of fun.

The Background:
Gliese 581 is the Templar's home world. Thriller is their emperor. The people know him in his mech suit form. He has a fully-fleshed planet, meaning the player has taken the time to set up culture, areas for fun or industry or various religions whatever.

The Rules:
1) No tech stealing. You can ask to trade tech. GT has to agree to it.
2) Absolutely respect the property of the nation.
3) ASK GT before doing something that can change Germanic Templar canon.
4) Big one... it's a future setting on a planet far away. No bringing in militaries, extra characters etc.
5) GT functions as a Co-OP while players are on his planet. His decisions on what can or can't be done must be followed. He has the right to ask people to REDACT if they do something that violates his canon, culture or concept.

These rules apply to all future trips to other nations. Ask OOC if you're not sure about an action. I expect the same respect given to Bran when he lets us visit his nation, and to Torsi when we visit his, etc.
  1. 24 April, 2013: Bio/Chem hazards scrubbed. Environment restored. City Planners meet to discuss rebuild. Other nations beginning to send construction materials, etc. (Ideas for structuring in OOC.)
  2. 26 April, 2013: Construction begins on underground areas; utility, roads, railways mapped out by city planners; supplies begin to arrive in tent city proper. It is decided (OOC) that the city will be modern rather than futuristic.
  3. 27 April, 2013: Underground construction completed. Buildings soon to go up. Military base and airport construction starts.
  4. 28 April, 2013: Too much to explain. Read the post.

Vital Information About the Setting

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 3:21 pm
by Swith Witherward
The Building

Current location of our madness. The Building is in a colder climate. The nation it's in is never named and not important. It's bigger on the inside than on the outside and it seems to heal itself. There's a janitor. The interior construction appears differently to each resident (tile vs wood floors vs carpet, metal staircases vs concrete vs wood) etc.

Common Areas
This is where everybody seems to flock, including those with apartments that have kitchens. Breakfast is usually waffles and omelets. Trashed frequently due to firefights, mobs, invasions, and Dab/Tsu. It's the only place in the building where the residents will kill you faster than the food.
These are the front and back yards. Used for Zalgofests, combat, snowball fighs and who knows what else. It has a shed in the back which most residents avoid for good reason.
Recently discovered by NVE, the gym is off the lobby on the first floor. It's a communal area where people can work out.
Hallways. People roam them. Some people lurk in them. They have shadows to hide in.
Ground floor when you first enter the building. It has mailboxes by the front door (we never see the mailman but there's mail), a check in desk, a bench, an alcove with a payphone booth. It leads upstairs to the communal kitchen/dining room and rooms.
It's a roof. It's at the top of the building. It's used for gazing at the night sky, defending the building (weapons seem to change at the drop of a hat), housing Bran's helicopter, and a quiet place to drink. Stairs lead up to it from the inside.

Not So Common Areas and Other Information
Some residents are cheap bastards and only rent rooms. They use the communal dining room and kitchen for their meals. Apartments have full kitchens, bedrooms, and living space.
Cunning residents build secret labs in all sorts of odd places. They really aren't secret since everyone knows about them.
For whatever ungodly reason, some residents utilize tunnels and air vents to get around. Expect them to drop in anywhere at any time.
Some apartments exist in their own little universe and can not be penetrated by outside sources. These would include Bones & Co's apartment, Tony's shack, and The Sanctuary (Swith's apartment). Don't try. You'll only become frustrated... or die.
Things your characters would know since they live in the building...

The restaurant across the street, Chaos, is heavily protected. The outer appearance is just a thin veneer mixed with illusion. People walking in the front door enter a pocket universe. When under attack, the door closes and the restaurant pinches off from the current universe. We used it during the last invasion as a field hospital of sorts.

The apartment building heals itself, but some apartments inside also skip out of the current dimension and can NOT be entered. I suggest you wait until the player is online before making an attempt to break and enter.
- Bones & Co's apartment is a pocket universe.
- The Sanctuary (Swith, Naomi, Cer's apartment) is a pocket universe and has an active Security System.
- Tony's shack is an untouchable due to security defenses. Lots, most of them involve a comedic ending.

The building rooftop is set up to defend the building (Tsu and Dab have put guns there before so I'm sure those are still in place). There's a massive rail gun in the back yard that GT's tech priests built for the last invasion; it doubles as an organ. A force field can be quickly placed to further protect the building. (It defeats magical/god powered attacks. It defeats nano, mechanical and supernatural infiltration. This came into play during the last invasion. It forms a sphere around the area, roughly ten blocks wide but it can be scaled back so it doesn't hinder a story too much. Conventional weapons won't affect it.)

Various characters have close ties to their nation's military. Tsu and Bran have both called in their forces for support in the past. Ceril's nation is backed by CSMs and Dark Mechanicum... FT, with all the firepower found in 40K plus Chaos gods. Bones also has an advanced military. Swith's is bio-based extreme FT; they destroy planets instead of wage ground/air battles... no one here wants them to spore! Everyone else is is pretty much anime-based.

There are more defenses... you'll encounter them as you go.

Other Places Near the Building

These are the parts of town that players have established during the course of play.

It's a bank around the corner. That is all.
Sometimes seen, but often not, these provide delivery service to the Building. They also provide deliverymen who end up eaten by certain residents.
It's a park nearby.
Located directly across the street from the building, Chaos is an upscale restaurant during the day, a club at night. Waitstaff are all NPCs (demons, succubi, incubi, etc) in human disguise. They bring drinks or food. They are non-combatants. They are not there to be tortured (looks at Tsu) or used in experiments (looks at NVE and Bones). Staff include two chefs (Head Chef: Cuisine; Breakfast Chef: Bran) as well as a bartender (Superbia). You don't want to piss off the head bouncer (Ceril) because he's authorized to kill you; all other bouncers are Khornate Chaos Space Marines. The building is Dab/Tsu proof and nearly indestructible given that it's in its own little pocket universe. It's a neutral zone; magic and combat inside is not allowed.


PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 3:21 pm
by Swith Witherward
People Herein - In Alphabetical order

Captain Ozzall 'Oddball' Griffin
Due to his unfortunate and random teleportation, or whatever the bloody hell it was, he lacks his dress uniform and thus is stuck in the armor for now.

A Captain in the Imperial Stormtrooper Corps, Ozzall has had a successful career participating in numerous campaigns on the outer rim squashing rebellions, slaughtering insurrectionists, and fighting off the occasional underground Vong organization. Over time, his crazy tactics and what can only be described as insane, unbelievable luck and skill lead to him rising through the ranks and eventually being promoted up to Captain. After being deployed in another successful mission, some asshole deity (at least he assumes so) zapped him away from his home galaxy and to this damned run-down piece of shit building. Or, that's at least how he views it due to the lack of flying 'cars', advanced medical technology, or how these doors have hinges.

Oh, and he's a Clone.
Dwelling: Apartment. Just a standard unfurnished apartment.

On Hold Until a Later Date:
People are welcome to make up their own nicknames (Typically 'Mad God' or 'The Mad God', and Gywfrw'ydd is completely understanding.) It changes gender depending on will, it typically is something insectoid. The crazier it is, the closer it is to his true form.

Dwelling: Door to his own private pocket dimension. Fairly modest. Unlike his fellow kin, it's a mere quadrillion lightyears across. He really likes books.


Totenkopf (on left, with knife)

Herr Doktor

Eva (NPC) - Naomi's adopted daughter. Back story here and here. Her hair is black and she has odd glyphs on her face and arms.

BIO: An Eastern European Dictatorship that is usually always at war with the neighboring nations.

Branson "Bran" Nikanor: A Branriech Airforce mechanic who was born in the Capitol city in 1988, a few years before the collapse of the Soviet Union. He grew up most of his childhood with his sister until the Branriech Civil War, he was also one of the first generation of young boys conscripted into the reformed military at age 15. After a few years of distinguishing himself as an exemplary mechanic, he was eventually marked for death by the current High General. He escaped through an experimental teleporter and ended up in the Fallout shelter of the apartment.

Born in 1989, Amaryllis "Rylli" Volkova grew up in a rural village. Her father was killed in the Soviet-Afghan conflict and her mother was killed in an auto crash a year later. Rylli then lived with her older brother who was shot down and killed in an Airforce skirmish. Having no other family, Rylli joined the Branriech Airforce and was trained as a Fighter pilot, she met Bran and fell in love with him her first year of flying. She would later defect from the Branriech and has taken up residence with Bran.

Natiya Nikanor, on the left, Bran's older sister was born in 1986. She was nearly conscripted into the Branriech Military along with Bran, but a quick descision from their parents saved Natiya from what would have been frontline service. They sent her to America just before their untimely demise at the hands of a firing squad, she went to college for a few years riding on the Nikanor's vast fortune before dropping out and joining a PMC before quitting that too. Now she leads a quiet life in the upper floor of the apartment.

Born in 2006, Rachelle and her family were captured by the Drone Empire. During testing, her mother was presumed killed while her father protected her afterwards. During Rylli's escape, Rachelle and her father tagged along while all the other subjects were gunned down behind them. As the trio was making their way to salvation, D4 killed Rachelle's father in a fit of rage, leaving Rylli and Rachelle to board the shuttle and escape back to Earth. Not knowing the true fate of either of her parents (But knowing she won't see them again), Rachelle has tried her best to get used to Bran and Rylli as her new parents.

Kei, the creator of the Branriech and it's people. A Demon or a Goddess (No-one knows and she doesn't care.) who is directly responsible for the creation of the Branriech as a state and as a people. Anyone hailing from the Branriech is descended from her and she refers to them as 'her childeren'. She claims to have no name but will respond to it if someone happened to find out.

Apartment, Bran's room
Bran and Co's beach house
BIO: Unknown in age, Thaddeus Cerillium is quiet and intelligent but does have a sense of humor. He's currently employed by Swith. His primary function is classified; his secondary role is to protect Rachelle Nikanor. He carries the blessing of a god which aids him in his duties. He's ugly (even for a his people) and it doesn't bother him. He'll stick to the shadows and is usually nocturnal to avoid questions. Naomi is his lover.

Ceril shares an apartment (The Sanctuary) with Naomi, Eva, Marcus and Swith. The apartment is in a pocket universe and the insides don't match up with reality. His upstairs loft and workshop suit his needs.

Marcus is Ceril's son.

Deus is a Chaos Space Marine brought back from the Void.
Dab is the personification of the empire of Dabfia, even though he may not act like it sometimes, He also represents the hideous creatures in Dabfia, you might see him with mutants sometimes, or digging a hole to china, or fighting the revenge of nature, or blowing things up in his lab.

Apartment: glorified dorm room of sorts, and a Lab

Terminator Doctor
Dab's modified T-1000 terminator.
BIO - The Drone Empire, a Multi-Galactic Empire of machines which destroys or ruins all that are not like it, most units of the Empire act like a part of a hivemind, completely unwilling to disobey the wishes of the empire. Recently, the Empire has been expanding into the Milky way rapidly, and this planet is now a prime target for possible Purging, but after facing massive defeat, they won't be coming back for a while. The Data Archives

Really, she was once a fully robotic being, but due to necessary intervention, she has since been out into a human body.. mostly human, anyway. She is quite good with constructing devices or computers, pulling from her memories as a Drone, and has a profound hate for birds. All birds. She also seems to lack a large sense of what is right and what is wrong, accompanied by other traits that add to her strange insanity.

The Progeny
The Progeny is yet another attempt by the Drone Empire to survey and sabotage Earth's relatively primitive yet impressive defense array, but he is notably different from his predecessors due to the Immortallian technology attributed to his creation from Caligulus. He has an unknown array of weapons and various capabilities, though some including telepathy, telekinesis, technopathy and shape shifting. In addition, he possesses nearly unlimited resources to conduct his operations, and is quite calculated in his actions. Failure is not acceptable this time. Having taken up the identity of "Peter", he has infiltrated the Apartment and established a basic relationship with various inhabitants, acting as a timid, somewhat unique young man currently courting Dani.

A being similar if not identical to Darius, of whom he hates, he is a rather corrupted figure. Having gotten into a serious dispute between Darius over who was responsible of the accidental closure of 600 Universes resulting in eons of scientific research lost, he was eventually blamed and shunned largely by the Immortallius's scientific community, being reduced to a minor rank responsible for the closure or temporary maintenance of a realm should it's regular caretaker be called upon a task of greater importance. With Darius's apparent demise due to a systemic meltdown, he has been put in charge of closing the Universe Darius discovered and cared for, however, Caligulus has far more vengeful plans in mind. Having easily manipulated the local Drone Empire into doing his bidding, he has once again put the Earth in danger from another Invasion, one greater than any ever seen by the Earth prior.[/code]

The Replicates
Servants of The Progeny, they do his global bidding, and unlike he, usually replace individuals rather than establish their own personality, they clone the mental and visual characteristics and then normally kill the original subject while they fulfill his/her's normal position while acting truly as an operative to ultimately disable the Earth's primary defenses. They have some of the abilities of The Progeny, though they lack more of it's advanced capabilities.

The Xarada
The robot-servant of The Progeny, it is a small spider-like creature that takes various forms, though normally it takes the appearance of a black cat. When not lurking around, guarding Peter's apartment and serving as Peter's central A.I to base his operations upon and stay in contract with the vastly distant Drone relays, it serves as a reconnaissance bot, doing things Replicates might not be able to. It has weapons such as it sharp legs and a short array of mental weapons while it is highly adept in the digital sense, equipped with some of the best Drone cyber-weapons and defenses available. It's loyalty is inequivalent by any other to the Progeny, and it will viciously fight for him.

The Caretaker
The supposed overseer of Earth after the second Drone invasion, he is a mysterious figure, who resides in The Aetherian, a strange yet small collection of enormous ships. He has unknown capabilities and origins, only known to answer the The Observant, but no more information beyond that.

Dani's Lab
Cornelius Thriller
Born in 1995 in New York City, new york. Was abandoned by his parents at the age of 3 and almost died on December 19, 1998 when Margret Thriller, a successful business woman and stock holder, took pity on him and took him in, however, his expuosure to the elements left him sick and eventually leaving him blind in his left eye. Today, 180 years old, 10 feet tall, weighing at a near ton, and has an IQ that is superb over all. Emperor of the Germanic Templars since 2095. Has plans to unite humanity under his banner, and conquer Earth. When it comes to warfare, and hand to hand combat, none can best him. When he is in his human body, he's 6''5 and weighs 170 lb.

Joesph Aleki R. Smyth
Born in 2159, of a father who works as an Honor Guard in the House of Representatives, First District and a mother who worked as a scientist on Oda Island, Third District. Joined the conscription force at the age of 16, later to be promoted to Commander of the Clone Army at the age of 21. Has been augmented with special genetic mutation add-ons such as limb regrowth, thicker skin, and electric tonic.

A maintenance A.I. built inside Thriller's body to help defend against virtual infections, provides updates and daily scans to make sure the Emperor stays immortal.

Maria Khrolodna F. Smyth
Born in 2156, older sister to Aleki. Likes to start a fight with him and prove she is the better of the two. She is the Battle Matriarch of the Feminine Forces and has been in many skirmishes with Aleki for the past year when they were not at the apartment.

Tarquinius Superbia
Was the first minorem of hell and guided Lucius Lupus for almost 2 millenniums. After the imprisonment of Satan, he became Maior Sextus Superbia. He is known to be prideful, an instigator, crude, and trustworthy (once he knows you well)

Lucius Lupus
Comes from a parallel universe similar with many of Earth's histories. Originally born during the time of the Roman Empire, as of 12 A.D. Born Pagan but later converted. Served as a Legionary in Jerusalem where he stayed till the year 30 A.D. moving back to his homeland on the western side of the Rhine river with his sister, who was tricked into sorcery of eternal beauty by a minion of Satan. Minorem agreed to work for Satan for the safety of his sister. However, in order for him to work, he had to fight and defeat Lesser Pride. He later joined in on many events in history from the Crusades to the Revolutionary War, even to WW2. Recently, he was staging an uprising in Hell to free him and his sister, however, Satan pulled a last second trick and teleported him to our universe where he is trapped til he can return home. After his return back to his dimension, he won his fight against Satan, conquering evil. And he has returned to find his sister.. Oh also, after that epic fight he had, he has been given the title of archangel and champion of humanity and earth, one that he takes seriously.

Sapphire Thriller
Born in 2158, she is an anthropomorphic and great granddaughter of Cornelius Thriller. She works in the Third District on Oda island as a genetic engineer. In the past, she has worked on many projects such as the synthesizing of cells from atoms up, and Project: Lazarus. She is known to talk a lot if you open a conversation with her, she is very witty, smart, and is known to be a bit crazy at times. She in employed at Black Star Research Center.

Vitellius Barox
Born in Hephaestus, Fourth District, Planet Gliese 581g. Had a rare nondisjunction that is known as Trisomy 13. A lethal genetic disease that could have killed him if not for "modern" science and medicine saving his life. From this he received six small pistons, 3 on each side, to act as muscles for the lack of muscles there. He also received an artificial spinal cord and mandible. He serves as a tech priest (No connection to Dawn of War 40k), more specifically, an electronic priest that is known to play crude tricks from time to time.*

Thriller's room. A room that he has purchased from the property and claimed it for Germanic Templars to help nullify him having to pay rent on it.

Swith's editing prerogative/addition: Krutes: seriously awesome native species of Gliese 581 recently brought back from extinction by Cornelius Thriller and the Germanic Templars. Known for awesome architecture, Jamaican-type accents and really tasty fish dishes.
Giovenith is the daughter of a benevolent goddess called Pearlelei, who is currently at war with a newer group of deities who wish to "delete" the universe. She is an artist, posses a whistle that can perform unusual abilities, and has hammerspace pockets. She is seemingly insane, but it is possible that this is an affect of her mother's. She has been shown on several occasions to have powers of her own, although she is not necessarily a full goddess like her mom. She is about 16 years old, but often acts much younger than that.

The Allied States Of Europa
A Parliamentary Confederation in which all states adhere to a parliament with a head of Council. The nation itself is mainly European with a Colonized Africa within it's sphere of Influence.

A cautious and sane individual. Eura is a well kept, and kind person who is not afraid to defend those who matter. However be careful not to get on her bad side or she might harm you, your loved ones, your pets, anyone who's looked at you, and the surgeon that pulled you from the womb.


Second nation:
Khaddam: A Constitutional Dictatorship which is currently recovering from a destructive Civil war which overthrew the old government.

An emotionally scarred, and surprisingly well dressed teen. Khad is a respectful, but very Pessimistic boy who shows respect for his elders, but secretly wishes for their demise. At the end of the Civil war he was chosen to personify the newly established government, and its people.

Dwelling: apartment
Nation Name: Latinus

Latinus: A Alternate Reality Italy were Latinus, not Rome became the central power of Italy

Tiberius Lutatius Catulus
Latin by birth, warrior by choice, Legionnaire by the grace of Jupiter.

Nation Name: Grand Federation of Aksarben (official name
Nation Bio: A republic in the Midwestern Democratic States, it is the second oldest government in the region and the most liberal by far. They have extensive civil rights. The Grand Federation was created during a revolution from the older Aksarben Empire. Since then they have remained democratic and stuck to their ideals without resorting to violence like other revolutions seem to always lead to.

Nation Name: The Aksarben Empire
Nation Bio (optional): the old government of Aksarben. During a revolution they collapsed and the Grand Federation of Aksarben was formed afterwards. They were fiercely monarchist and imperialists until their collapse, at one time they controlled all of their continent.

Both characters are two sides of the same person. Jacob is the one usually dominant. Under duress(like a life-or-death situation, Albert comes out and doesn't let go for a while. This also shows the duality in Aksarben's history.

Jacob Aksarben
He's the personification of New Aksarben. He holds all the same views as the country. He is a liberal, and idealist. He's also a very nice guy and likes to help people. His idealism can also cloud his judgement. He is also very smart and likes to mess with technology.

Albert Aksarben
Obviously he looks the same as Jacob, but with purple eyes(purple is the color of royalty)
Albert is a personification of Aksarben and it's royalty. he feels entitled to everything. He is also a military man, and chivalrous. He is an expert with many types of weapons, and can learn how to use knew ones relatively quickly.

Octavian Aksarben
He is the crown prince of Aksarben. He is quiet, usually serious, and somewhat cold. He doesn't really care for anyone but himself. He has a hard time making friends and understanding others. He still cares for his nation's people, though, and does anything to help his nation become more powerful. He is also somewhat of a spoiled brat, as he was raised to become the next Emperor, so expects everything to be handed to him. He's also the highest officer in the Aksarben military, aside from Albert and the Emperor himself. The Emperor, Iacobos, sent him to the universe the building is in to keep him safe, and to learn about the different universe.

Dwelling: Room next to Albert and Jacob's
Neil Von Eldritch (aka NVE aka "My Killer")
A psychotic supergenius mad scientist velociraptor MacGyver of atomic schizo tech bent on destroying the human race (and all mammals for that matter) with time travel, genetic engineering, lasers, nukes, and napalm (lots and lots of napalm) raising a family with Gretta. His IQ ha been measured to be 700 in comparison to mammals. Currently he uses a Telluric Interchanger to disguise himself as human or other species.

NVE's Human disguise

Supporting Characters:
Gretchen "Gretta" Von Eldritch (aka "My Surgeon")
Neil's wife, partner in crime, and match in velociraptor form. Only a wee bit more level-headed, and snout-over-claws in love with him. She is a bit more hostile towards mammals, but has more self-control. She has had three children with Neil named Robert, Swift, and Jenny.

Gretta's Human disguise

NVE042 (aka Fortu aka Dr. Martin Fortu)
Computer hacker who is more competent and less crazy than NVE. Can hack the Pentagon at the speed of thought...depending on the speed of the internet connection. He was cloned from NVE and then was beheaded by Dabfia. He now has a humanoid body with a few implanted devices of his design. Fortu is in a relationship with Monique, and is always willing to help.

NVE (aka Agent NVE aka The Agent)
A psychotic supergenius mad scientist velociraptor MacGyver of atomic schizo tech bent on destroying the human race (and all mammals for that matter) with time travel, genetic engineering, lasers, nukes, and napalm (lots and lots of napalm) raising a family with Gretta. His IQ has been measured to be 700 in comparison to mammals. He was cloned from Neil while he was gone to keep Fortu company...for some odd reason (seeing as Fortu didn't need company). This clone only goes by his initial codename, he lacks memory of the apartment and Gretta and is not particularly fond of others.

Dr. Arthur VanDelay
Another clone of Neil, this one was created to empathize with humans. He is licenced to practice psychiatry, athough most of his solutions are mind altering drugs. He cares about people and follows the rules but won't back down from a fight.

Guess what? Another Clone of Neil! Nevvie was created to help in the lab. Athough female and a hybrid of Raptor and Human biology, Nevvie has only half the strenth and speed of a raptor but all the intelligence. On the other hand, the prehensile tongue and venom sacs are new. She is quick on the draw and very flexible. She often takes the third option and the route less traveled.

The Von Eldritch House (It can fly), The "Backyard Death-Ray"
Primordial AKA Prime(on left)
Primordial was born in 1973 twenty six years before the second American civil war to a poor family in Boston. During the war he was possessed by a Star Vampire and butchered his entire family before fleeing to Canada with many other Americans. Once the War was over he returned to his home which was now the Luxan Empire because of some form of primal pull, once home he was quick to join the prestigious Miskatonic University where he studied for 10 years earning himself a doctorate in Tran Kinetic Science and Divinatory Scrying. However he lacked a formal education and gain the money for tuition by joining the military during the summer.
While in the military he participated in both the Egypt Wars and Subjugation of Mexico, it was here that he was recognized for greater things and promoted to Engineer and then Military Mancer. During the Egypt Wars he brief worked with Insidious as the leader of her Scorpio’s repair crew. After the wars he returned home to finish his studies and after school was hired by SystemCorp to work on a new line of Pentagram Missiles which were being tested in The City. He was killed during the GodEatGod incident by Natiya.
Primordial possesses a host of abilities but none are more powerful than that of his mind he is an obsessive pragmatist that has a plan for every situation no matter how impossible. With powerful telekinetic abilities he has the power to move objects weighing as much as four tons at speed over twenty six miles an hour, and in addition his expect divinatory abilities allow him to accurately predict the future to the nearest 2 hundred likely scenarios. His preferred weapon is a Scion-6 Pistol that has the power of a railgun in a hand held weapon. In the aspect of protection primordial wears a finely meshed suit of Nanite Caraplates and has branded his soul numerous times with protection sigils.

Insidious was born to a rich Texan family in 1977; she was in college in Oregon during the American civil war. She fled to Canada when the war broke out with millions of other Americans, there she finished her schooling getting a doctorate in biology, however she returned to Primordial Luxa in order to find he parents who she had lost touch with after the war, she returned to her home to find that they had all been killed accidental by the American Government and at that moment swore allegiance to the unspeakable gods of the Luxan Empire.
Penniless in a strange country she joined the military in order to gain a startup and during her time she was placed in the Egyptian Warfront as the driver of a Leo Heavy Recon Tank, however she was quickly promoted to pilot an Avatar Engine near the end of the war due to her ruthless skill behind the wheel. After the war she became a biological artist who built exotic and strange people and creature for wealthy patrons.

Insidious has completely embraced the ideas of the Luxan Empire like few Runners have and is now a completely amoral machine dedicated to excess and hedonism. Unfortunately she was born with natural gift for reading people’s emotions and faces that, due to the magic surrounding her, has bloomed into an uncontrollable ability to hear people’s thoughts and to manipulate people minds. In addition to building creature for art she has also changed her own body into a more artistic form, with genetic cell memory, a host of 21 extra organs, and shape shifting abilities she is a true master of the flesh.

Aegis was born in 1970 to a middle class family in Massachusetts; at the age of 20 he suffered a psychotic break and killed 32 people with his bare hands in a city wide rampage. He was given life in prison and was confined to Providence maximum correctional facility, where he waited for 10 years before he was freed by the Luxan newly emerged government. He quickly joined up with the luxan army lacking any tradition skill set beside his strength of arms. He quickly out preformed his fellow soldiers and was elevated the Immortal in record time.
He participated in the War of Lakes, Egypt War, Operation Savior, Subjugation of Mexico and Blood in the Pacific campaigns. When he wasn’t in wars or in stasis training he was studying magic and overtime has master pyromancy. He eventual took leave after being offered a position at SystemCorp as a foreign enforcer in charge of scaring nations into purchasing SystemCorp weapons, a feat he flawlessly enacted in The City several months ago.

Ageis is known for being very level headed, even in the thick of combat he is incredibly calm and never seems anxious or scared, while it does take a lot to anger him, when angry his powers become amplified infinitely and he loses control. He has also undergone numerous biological upgrades and enhancement and now is a monster of a man standing seven feet tall, weighing three hundred pound and being able to easily life three times his body weight.

Room 6C
Primordial was recently granted the status of Earl for his help in R.A.D.I.C.A.L. and as part of such he requested to become the Luxan ambassador of The Nation, as such Primordial's “apartment” is in reality a foreign embassy and governed by international law. The embassy is ACTUALLY on Luxan soil because the door is a dimensional gate to the group’s home country.

List of rooms
Primordials room
Insidious room
Ageis’s room
Command Center
Charumati Thriller... "Swith"
(She is not a personification or representation of the nation of Swith Witherward.)
Swith's matrix houses a chaos god who chooses to remain in female form while in this dimension. Pleasure, excess and perfection (as well as hedonism, lust and pain) were once part of her mantra. She, along with her brother Ogoti, have slowly become disenchanted with the politics of their pantheon. She recently stumbled upon some things that gods of her pantheon term as "heresy" and her subsequent death and resurrection have left her feeling a bit of animosity towards some of them.

Swith never hesitates to foster the desire in others to improve upon themselves. Freed from the shackles of her pantheon's severe nature, she has rediscovered the beauty of the universe. Her favorite activity still is hosting nefarious and oft-hedonistic Zalgofests with Bones, however.

Swith is married to Cornelius Thriller, the Immortal Emperor of the Germanic Templars. They have two children (twins): Siduer and Sydney.

Naomi is a splinter from Swith's being and shares many of her abilities. She is capable of great devastation when under pressure. She's love personified and protective of her friends and humanity. She is the adoptive mother to Eva, a young and emotionally traumatized girl from the Friedhof (Bone Fort NPC.) She is also Ceril's fiance.

Support Cast
One of the top ranking succubus of Lust's minions, Blythe's life seems to have taken a dramatic swing for the better since meeting the demon Superbia and archangel Lucius. Hopelessly (and equally) in love with both, Blythe is content with the love triangle and (being a succubus) sees it as perfectly normal and rational.

Minerva Blackwater
Cultist leader. Blackwater and her lads were invited to the dimension.

A chibi maxtrix thrust upon Swith when her essence needed a temporary body. Created by Herr Doktor and enlarged by Swith, Chi is the babysitter for Marcus, Eva, and the twins. Rarely seen NPC.

The Cultists
Don't ask. They're there. All of them have work Visas.

Their Apartment
The Sanctuary is a pocket universe created by Swith; the security system itself is a splinter of the chaos god. The primary door is in the lobby and opens onto a steep flight of stairs. There is a secondary door there. There is a doorbell in the lobby. There is a sign placed outside the lobby door below the doorbell. It reads:

Main room: the main entertainment area .

Upstairs loft which belongs to Ceril.

Main gallery leading to Swith's lair deep below the building.

Chaos (the restaurant)
See tab above. Owned by Swith.

Nation Name: Swith Witherward
Nation Bio (optional): A colony of the Nifid.

Rodney Bodkins
Bodkins is a Triumvir Scientem Representative, the Witherward of Swith... er, no relation to your own Swith. Swith Witherward contracts with char!Swith for research. He's come to manage those assets.

Sensitive about his height. Lives for good food. Often found uncomfortably hunched over in kitchens, where he can usually be seen experimenting with new recipes. Pretentious, so he puts on a different accent every so often. Dramatic, so he'll do other random things at times, too. To get a better idea of his appearance: 7'5" 290 lbs, gray hair, green eyes. Early 50s. Apply that to his picture (linked above).

A magical rabbit with several powers, including that of teleportation. Enjoys playing poker, eating walls and metal, drinking WD40 mojitos, and being a pyromaniac. Claims Cuisine is his familiar.

Deader, formally Deader than Disco
A traveler about whom very little is known, gender included. It is the bearer of 12 mystical Swords which render it a formidable combatant, but it recently has only been using them to troll Tsuyoi. Currently traveling elsewhere on business. Has some connection to Dora, the nature of which is currently unknown.

An immortal servant of the god and goddess of entropy and time, with the powers to manipulate these two forces. Capable of stopping time for everyone except other supernaturals, and sees people's remaining lifespans (referred to as 'readouts') above their heads. Strongly dislikes cold; enjoys travel, darts, and playing pranks.

A fallen former colleague of Luce's.

On readouts...Most ordinary people have decreasing positive numbers on their readouts. Supernaturals have solid or hollow infinity symbols, depending on whether they resist all causes of death or merely old age. Laika, whom Dora was always chasing but never able to catch, has a negative number, due to her being out-of-place, timeline-speaking.

Trenchcoat-Fedora Man

Tora Dimitrov (Full/Real), Torii (As known by everyone else.)
Torii was taken in by her father in the east. After being lost, she spent her childhood living as an orphan in a small border town. She was caught up in one of the big border clashes, and grew up learning how to fight and hide. She was eventually conscripted by the Confederate Army and Air Corps, rather than killed like many other civilians. Due to her involvement in many bloody conflicts, and the use of WMDs on her own home, Torii is mentally stressed, and suffers from terrible nightmares and bouts of suicidal depression.

Apartment: A small enough, humble apartment in the style of many traditional Torsiedellie homes. The main room includes a large bed, Katya's mini-lounge in the left corner, by a small window. To the right is a small kitchen, with doors to a smaller bedroom and a laundry room. General Architectural style.

Katya Dimitrov IV
Taller than her sister, Katya was raised by her mother, with the nobility. She spent her childhood learning how to play Violin and Piano, be a proper girl, and be like her mother. At the age of 15, with her mother's approval, Katya voluntarily joined the Western Air Force, but never saw service. Instead, she was put in the National "Organization", and designated Agent-09. She shares her room with Torii.

Dimitrus Alexandrovna
Dimitrus seems at first like a lonely, ignored, socially awkward girl. In reality, she can be a bright, artistic young woman, which is why the Führer took her as his protegé. She developed a minor attraction to Bran upon meeting him in the Capitol, and has since taken it to an obsession, hellbent on acquiring her "trophy". These actions and personality traits are unknown to Romanus, and barely noticed by Korovin, who still calls her a "Good kid", and looks out for her around the capitol, though he knows that she can't be allowed in power.

She is the CO to Torii, and an old friend to Katya. She is 21-22 years old, 5'6, 135lbs, and has an Albino genetic defect. Due to this, she's always been self conscious. She's also been the target of minor bullying. She hates bringing up the subject of her Albinism.

She has no apartment. She appears rarely, during visit to check on the building.

Morrigan of Vaffleheim
As normally seen, roaming the woods at night, or on especially stormy/foggy days; Without her tattered robes.
Morrigan was the daughter of the city's founder, violated and murdered at 17. After her murder, others began to disappear. The man who was found guilty of her murder was found brutally mutilated and hanging from a tree.

Rumours began to circulate about the Banshee, which would cry out to beckon the deaths of a citizen. Others reported sighting the banshee, washing the bloody garbs of the dead. Others sing disappeared in the woods.....

Dwells in the forest outside the building.
A half breed demon/angel who wants to enslave the human race and take over the world only to prove she's the strongest.Usually scared of the demon and likes to sing.She has the full support of tsuyoi's military to help her. May not have a brain and is somehow living and able to stuff.

The Oldest and The Most powerful of Tsuyoi Tekikoku Sisters.She always calm and is sadistic.She has alot of military training and Her element is unknown, and the fact is none one has lived long enough to See it except her sisters but they cant find out what it is.She is Dumber then edge but smarter then Scarlet and tsuyoi

The 2nd oldest of tsuyoi's older sisters and the 2nd strongest,Much Smarter then her other 3 sisters and Uses Earth as her element.She carries around a large sword and is Very Rowdy and easy to piss off. You should always run whenever she's drunk or you'll be on the ground in the next sec

Tsuyoi's 3rd older sister and the youngest of the older sisters, Somewhat dumber then tsuyoi and Acts more childish then her.
She controls fire and has always liked tsuyoi better,Begin the only one who doesn't wanna kill her.

A Tsuyoi Monster sometimes referred to as "Kaizer"
She has many ways of destroying from various guns and military Stuff,to her own Demon like abitiles.She has no relations to the tsuyoi tekikoku sisters.She has alot of rage,hatred and seems to like begin alone despite this,She Seems to get along well with anyone and has comptele control over her emotions,Nemesis is very powerful and has two even more powerful forms. Both are
called: Annihilation and Oblivion

Tieria Erde
Tieria Erde, AKA Innovator #12, is the last in the Innovator line. The Innovators are series modified humans that can control certain forms of technology, specifically electronics, with their minds. They are also capable of gender changes, though all are males in their natural states. Their purpose is to unite the governments of the world into one entity as well as create a race of superior life forms to inherit the new world that they will create. The organization that created them and their mission is still unknown

Tieria was once hooked up to a computer mainframe known as Veda. However, after losing a fight to Tsu, he was deemed to be defective and was disconnected from Veda. This gave Tieria free will as well as his own emotions and personality. He now seeks to find a new purpose other than destroying the world as we know it.

He is some 5 1/2 feet tall, 120 pounds, and has dark purple hair, red eyes, and wears glasses. His hair style sometimes gets him mistaken for a female.

As far as personality goes, Tieria is rather quite and sometimes condescending without meaning to be. before he was disconnected from Veda, he was downright evil and attempted to kill several of the buildings residents. He has sense changed and is trying to reform this image.

Dwelling: Full apartment

Yoshi Tokai is a 25 year old male born in the Armed Anime republic of Urran. He was orphaned at the age of ten and has sense developed an extreme case of shyness. He is a writer who is in the building to write an article for a psychological journal about the affects of so many cultures thriving in own place.

Yoshi is around 5' 8" and only 105 pounds. He is sensitive about his weight and wears hoodies or traditional Urranese robes (kimonos) to appear to have a larger girth. His left eye is an emerald green, while his right eye is an aqua blue color. Seeing his right eye is a rare occurrence because his jet black hair covers that entire side of his face save his mouth and chin.

As for personality, Yoshi is kind and sensitive. He may be timid, but he is always willing to help or comfort those in need of it.

Other than writing, Yoshi cooks and plays the violin. He has a black cat named Miku
Dwelling: Room
Nation Name: The Glorious Empire of Zarkanians (otherwise referred to as the Dictatorship of Zarkanians).

Sickly-pale skin, sharp blue eyes, somewhat greasy hair, expensive black trench-coat with lots of 'merchandise' (high-quality magnetic guns) which should technically not fit in there, uh, in there, dark black sunglasses, big black boots with steel toes, and a black sword identical to the Colonel 187 (sans the ability to infect anyone ever with diseases because that's 'unique' to Colonel 187's sword) strapped across his back. He's about 5'11", and is human for the most part.

He came from A Bad Part of Town, where everyone used to be fighting. He sold to a bunch of different gangs at the same time, and eventually the decided that the gang-war was taking such a huge toll on each other that they'd attack other parts of town instead. Thus began one of the longest periods of gang violence directed against citizens in the town's history. His mother was a human and his father was a human, but in some point in both their family trees, their ancestors had 'met' with a justice elemental and an immortal, respectively, and their genes have finally actually awakened in him. This made him somewhat neurotic when it comes to fairness, and also immune to dying of sickness or old age. (See, that's ironic, because most justice elementals are weak to being sick-- never mind).

Apartment (full apartment w/kitchen) or Room (glorified dorm room of sorts): Apartment. Gotta find some use for all that trade surplus I mean money what.

Apartment Picture: Except with an actual sink as opposed to whatever that is.

Herean. He ain't got no last name.
Appearance: White T-shirt with a red drop of blood centered on it, black jeans, messy dark red hair, light skin, blood-red eyes, black jacket. When he's fighting things his hands become encased in a pair of metal claws. He's able to summon a very, very long barbed chain, which is capable of moving like a snake but harms Herean when damaged. Fortunately it takes a lot to damage it. He usually looks about 18-19, but his shape can shift in age to anywhere between 14 to 37. He's not in control of these changes; they're mostly controlled by his emotions. Unfortunately, this means that when he feels especially irritated or distraught he ends up lookin far less mature than is helpful. Fortunately, these changes are fairly rare now.

Herean is a reformed daemon of blood, which basically means he likes killing people and thinks blood is amongst the most beautiful things in the world, but doesn't... Actually... Kill people for no reason. He just looks for really, really small reasons for it. Not killing things puts him in a kind of withdrawal. He acts surly and irritable under the best of circumstances, but during long periods of 'not-killing-anything' time he can become downright bi-- Errrrrr... Female dog. Y. He doesn't like killing people he knows unless they're bad people.

Living Quarters: Room!

Snowskeeper Ferenczy (also Zark and Zarkanians)
Snowskeeper has dirty-blonde hair, pale (like, REALLY pale, in a somewhat worrying way) skin, a somewhat thin face. He's about 5'6" in height. He tends to wear a black parka with random blue patches. He also wears blue jeans, and a random t-shirt with a random logo on it--it's usually something dark like a Metallica t-shirt with four skulls biting an eye or something like that. He also has a Zweihander strapped across his back. It has a Zarkanian gravitic drive built into the hilt, which allows him t carry it; if an EMP or something like that were to strike he'd be trapped on his back like a turtle. On the bright side, he can use a two-handed sword with one hand without having to work out too much! He looks somewhere around 16-18.
Snowskeeper was once a person, just... Like... YOU. Or, maybe he was; he doesn't really remember anything before he transformed. Then he found a special, secret computer in the back of a warehouse in a ghost-town in a dead dimension; he's not really sure how he got there, but the perfectly functioning spaceship he found afterwards suggests he was brought there by a group of... Well, they had lots of seeds, so settlers, he supposes? In any case, there was a CMD prompt open on the screen, with the letters 'AFK' written therein. He doesn't know what his mental process was--he can't actually remember anything that happened before he typed this stuff in--'alter Snowskeeper: add characteristics Ice Elemental, Immortal (regenerative, not indestructible), teleporter. Then he hit enter.

The computer exploded, but be received the chosen upgrades. There was a terrible cost, though: everything got really, really boring without the need to scrounge for food to survive, and with his Ice Elemental abilities he could defeat the few surviving animals without much difficulty. Fortunately, the ship had an auto-pilot installed, and he was able to activate it. The ship travelled through a rift, taking him to the ancient plane called Tertia. There, he took over the country of Zarkanians (making this the first and only dimension where Noah Grace didn't run the place into the ground), and convinced its clans to purue profit and the blood of other civilization, rather than each others' blood. He even managed to convince them to worship him!
Over eght-hundred years, and three fits of insanity later (one of which left him with a permanent obsession with naps), Snowskeeper was assaulted by Colonel 187. No matter what he tried, from his custom machine-gun (now lost) to his favourite sword (he still has that), he couldn't defeat the Colonel. Finally, after a battle that lasted days, he conceded control of the country to Colonel 187 and left the area for greener pastures. He kind of liked not being the most powerful thing in his universe, though, so he intentionally sought out an area where there were at least some stronger people to keep him in check. He doesn't think that's weird.
That area was the apartment building.

Dorm room

Who's Who

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 3:27 pm
by Tiltjuice
Characters 'n' Actions

More or less in order from least to most recent...the relationships...

...the fancies, passing or otherwise...(person who's interested/person who's subject of interest)
Pedobear/Gio - Special case (Zalgofest)
Irish Wrestling Chicken's fist/Tsu

...and the potential...

Again, more or less in order. Struck out = possibly over or not going to begin, and waiting for confirmation from whoever's running it for final deletion. Invasion!
These events affect the entire RP
Dani's latest invasion (ONGOING)
Swith's invasion
Confederacy invasion (The Incident in the West)
Creep Fest Oct 2013 (Halloween)
Innovator Invasion (Urran)
Nuclear Wings of the Dark Angel (Tsu)
Invasion of the Mnggal-Mnggal (AETEN)
The Aksarbenite Colonization of Bielefeld and Earth
Tilt "invasion that is not really an invasion" (To be held after ALL OTHER invasions)

These events do not affect the entire RP; players may opt out of them completely
Thriller's mini event - 27 Mar (ON HOLD)
Branriech trip (Post-Swith invasion)
Confederacy trip redux / Russian Sleep Experiment
Where's all the food gone? (Follow-up to Tilt invasion)
Aksarben Containment Breach

These do not affect the RP at all
Team Fortress 2 spoof
Japanese high school parody

What are these? Details would be nice:
Army of Tsu


Need you ask? Summoned by Bones and Swith deep in the Lair, Zalgo causes all current story lines to pause for the duration of the Festival.

Bone Fort wrote:*Announcer voice, a la Pablo Francisco impersonating Don La Fontaine*

In a world,

*shot of the world*

where some fictional characters are being driven into oblivion by crushingly over complicated plots and lack of mindless shenanigans...

*montage of our characters doing whatever we normally do around the island*

Two friends decide to fight back,

*shot of Swith and Bones walking down hallway in slow motion towards the camera*

These unlikely heroes, one a goddess of lust and hedonism,

*cuts to Swith*

the other a genetically engineered god-killer,

*cuts to Bones*

must join forces to do the impossible..

*rapid montage of scenes from Zalgofest*

and save their friends from this horrible fate...

*fade to black*

From the creative minds who brought you ZALGOFEST

*Shows up in big letters*


*shows up in big letters*

Double the action,


Triple the excitement,

*shot of Bones yelling "Get down!"*

More the excitement,

*Shot of Bones in the same position as previous shot, yelling "Get down again!"*

With soundtrack by Aaron Neville,

*shot of Bones and Swith running in slow motion, only sound is a heart beating*

Two Friends,

*Bones cocks a shotgun*

One solution,

*fires it at the screen*



*appears in big letters*

This time, you really won't know what hit you.


Zalgofest 4: Why do you keep making me do this?

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:17 pm
by Bone Fort
For the fourth time there was the usual bullshit shenanigans that I, the User of Bone Fort, typically makes up on the spot while writing these Zalgofest posts, having been forced to yet again by the overwhelming popular demand these events cause to labor upon this depraved, twisted debauchery of dubious morality that occurred on this bright, sunny day.

A horde of sexy Twilight-esque vampires were attempting to assault the building, having been drawn to it by the lust filled shenanigans, but a clan of leprechauns were valiantly holding them off, in a climatic battle that would later be immortalized in the Zack Zynder film 300-ish If You Happen to be Very Bad At Counting. Bran had unfortunately been transformed by the TF gun into one of the sparkly vampires, and was now running from the leprechaun leader, Barnabas "Bullroarer" Took.

Atop the building stood General Ripper. He was driving golf balls at the horde, which were ridden by the cultist dolls into the heat of the battle, much like how the legendary Baron Munchhausen had in days of old.

The party had spread out of the building and into the city itself, which took on an air of Mardi Gras, becoming a great festival. Parade floats, women flashing, carnival mask, there was everything, as people of all creed and color (including some that weren't 100% human) flocked to the streets in celebration. As the drunken revelry reached its height, a mob of people descended on the Branreich military base, overwhelming the guards through sheer numbers. What followed next was described as the "single largest pants-ing in history", forcing upon the base a bizarre tops only policy due to the theft of all the pants (but not underwear) that ensued.

Vaseline coated the stairs and made a trail across the lobby. Khro was sitting on a trash can lid and rode down the stairs. She slid across the lobby and out the front door. She sailed over the front steps, gracefully spinning in the air before landing on the front lawn. War, Plague and Lust's cultists held up her score: 10, 8, 10 with an 11 being held up by a Malice cultist, secretly standing behind the trio.

NVE is strangely in Japan and in charge of it with a bomb made of paperclips. Fortuis in bed with Monique on top of a small Eiffel Tower stolen from Las Vegas. Neil and Gretta are passed out in a Time-Machine and are wearing bloodstained uniforms from the Hindenburg and Titanic crews. Scarface is chicksitting while dressed as a Bouncer-type Big Daddy.

Over the timespan of Zalgofest, Giovenith had become an international one-hit wonder for a song completely sung in Simlish, and is now defending a castle of money by attacking anyone who comes near with a beaver being used as a chainsaw.

Dia was wrapped tightly in a cloth poncho and suspended from a tree, while a body-painted Chrys and Tasia took turns whacking him with a croquet mallet. Dora, sporting a sombrero and a toga, stood off to the side, shaking her head and muttering something about being sure this wasn't the right way to hold a pinata party. Cuisine looked somewhat bemused by the goings-on, while MB was having the time of his life orbital skydiving over and over again thanks to Dora's powers.

Torri would be currently in her room, sprawled out on the bed and surrounded my mounds of books and comics, waiting for supper. She is finally taking her civilian life smoothly. She has found a new chance at childhood with her new friends and sister. A visit from an old comrade, however, may bring a sudden end to that, as outside the building, a military official is looking for her, carrying a conscription form. She is accompanied by two bodyguards... Katiya was drinking herself into oblivion out of guilt or something.

Ceril and Naomi were finishing up doing the “naughty” in the lobby phone booth (Naomi had cast a sphere inside to keep it PG-13 to passersby). A group of Malice cultists had caught them coming out, and were hurling cat-calls and whistles at them inbetween chanting "WALK OF SHAAAAAAAAME!"

Aleki had gotten a bit too tipsy and had a lamp shade over his head and was holding two light bulbs. Natiya, who had tried to keep up with him in drinking, passed out somewhere between the first bottle and the... no one is actually sure how many bottles were consumed. It was a lot.

Sapphire and Barox, also a bit tipsy, had found a way to tap his electrical ability and the light bulbs glowed brilliantly. Barox was trying to figure out a way to make the whole thing flash in time to organ music, and Sapphire was sitting in a chair and laughing hard at the whole scene.

Several of Lust’s cultists had produced instruments and were playing lively Celtic music. Others were playing “Human Jenga” using some of War’s drunken cultists as game pieces. Klaus and Minerva sat off to the side and traded war stories with the cultist leader that had kidnapped Natiya waaaaaay back. Each one was more ludicrous than the last.

Deuce was drunk off his ass. He’d put on his armor and hoisted Thriller upon a lawn chair that was spray-painted gold, and was carrying him above the crowd. A small group of equally drunk Khornate cultists followed in their wake, singing songs in German in tribute to him. If anyone asked, they’d drunkenly point out that “Ist okay. He’s not THAT emperor.” Thriller had a pint of quality ale in one hand, and a golden rattle (24k!) in the other to symbolize another voyage into fatherhood.

Blythe was occupied with Superbia and Lucius, both of whom were rolling around on the lawn. Lucius thought Superbia had accidentally eaten “Fade to Black” and he was determined to get it back so he could finish reading it. She jumped into the fray and the air was filled with playful growls, flapping leathery wings and loose feathers. The book lay a few feet away on the spring grass.

Ogoti, the splinter of Plague, had consumed a large amount of alcohol and was slumped over the pool table. Atosh and Chanpreet had pasted Spongebob bandaids all over his bloated form before passing out in the bread box.

Swith was sitting in her lawn chair next to Bones. A circle of crocus and early spring flowers had pushed through the earth around her. She was wearing a Playboy Bunny outfit with lavender trimmings and stiletto calf-height boots. Playful bubbles wafted up from her drink and drifted over the lawn; they made musical notes when they popped. Sutra was similarly dressed and lurking nearby, and given their shared appearance, they could pass as identical twins. Both gods had taken to occasionally tickling Bones with their fluffy bunny tails.

Bones was sitting on a stool. Like he had promised Swith, he was wearing a bunny suit... that's all. After all this shit above I just can't work up enough of a f**k to be any more creative.

"... Ja..."

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:35 pm
by Swith Witherward
"Well Bones, congratulations on another fabulous Zalgofest," Swith kissed the side of his bunny costume head. She sat back in the chair and poured another drink.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:36 pm
by The BranRiech
Brandi, now a girl and a vampire to fit in with her new allies, continued running from that bastard that was chasing her. In an almost comical fashion, she ran into the building and started running through different doors and reappearing out of other ones. "Stop chasing me!" She yelped.


Natiya, with alot more clothing removed than when she started drinking, lay on the floor passed out. "When . . . Did the gremlins . . . Get in?!" She punched at the air.


Now having their submarine fully repaired, the crew and soldiers on the base had invited all the civilians onboard and were cruising around the bay drunkenly. They smashed a few parked boats out of the way as the sub-carrier sped around in circles.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:39 pm
by Tiltjuice
Finally tiring of seeing the same section of the Earth over and over, MB dashed off and went to find Kei. Golden-hair sisters want you. Invite to join pinata game.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:41 pm
by The BranRiech
Tiltjuice wrote:Finally tiring of seeing the same section of the Earth over and over, MB dashed off and went to find Kei. Golden-hair sisters want you. Invite to join pinata game.

Kei was sitting off in a corner, watching the shenanigans, occasionally holding up a scorecard for the novelty of it. "Where are they?" She asked to the little rabbit.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:43 pm
by Bone Fort
The bunny suit falls forward when Swith touches it, as it was actually a fake dummy wearing the bunny suit instead of Bones.


None of the civilians went with the Branreich soldiers on the sub, as they had left immediately after stealing the pants. Sticking around would have ruined the whole point of a lightning raid.

The city official that had given Kei hell about the base was standing in the harbor, watching the sub wreak havoc upon his beloved city. He shook his head.

"... That dumb b*tch... No more, I'm giving them no more merc-"

A aide whispered in his ear.

"... We did what?... ALL the pants? Really?... Huh... they're still going to pay for all that in the harbor. And leavin- TEQUILA MY LADY! WHOA, YEAH!"

He spun around and launched himself back into the festivities. There will be time for city work later.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:44 pm
by The New Velociraptor Empire
NVE wished he could remember how he took over Japan, but has a feeling he was polite when he asked. More importantly, he wondered how he ended up there when he was in a windowless room. He felt like he had been drinking. "Okay, what was that?" he asked outloud and realized he was sitting in the Prime Minister's Office...behind the desk.

Fortu woke up next to Monique, that was normal. But on top of the Eiffel Tower, well a small Eiffel Tower, was unusual. He figured that he had too much to drink and had stolen it for her with a teleporter.

Neil and Gretta had returned and had time traveled to disaters for a reason they couldn't remember. They left the Chicks in Scarface's care, who was dressed like a Big Daddy for another reason they couldn't remember. Scarface was doing a good job of mudering anyone that got near the chicks and keeping them out of harms way.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:45 pm
by Tiltjuice
The BranRiech wrote:Kei was sitting off in a corner, watching the shenanigans, occasionally holding up a scorecard for the novelty of it. "Where are they?" She asked to the little rabbit.

MB blinked and looked annoyed for a minute. Then a series of bright flashes like soundless fireworks went off, and a pair of thoroughly sloshed body-painted Conservatores staggered about.

"Wh're are we?" Chrys slurred. "Thin' it'as my turn t'hit him. Barkeep! Moar tequila!"

Tasia merely fell into Kei.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:47 pm
by The BranRiech
Tiltjuice wrote:MB blinked and looked annoyed for a minute. Then a series of bright flashes like soundless fireworks went off, and a pair of thoroughly sloshed body-painted Conservatores staggered about.

"Wh're are we?" Chrys slurred. "Thin' it'as my turn t'hit him. Barkeep! Moar tequila!"

Tasia merely fell into Kei.

"Well then." Kei chuckled as she caught Tasia by the chest. Not completely on accident. "How're things?"


Brandi ran into the room and locked the door. "You guys gotta help me!" She shouted.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:50 pm
by Tiltjuice
The BranRiech wrote:"Well then." Kei chuckled as she caught Tasia by the chest. Not completely on accident. "How're things?"

"Oi, ya gotta give me a popsicle first," mumbled Tasia, straightening up. "One of those chocolate ones with ice cream on the inside..." She reached out and took hold of Kei's hand - or so she thought. Instead, Chrys toppled over into her, and then the pair landed on Kei again.

MB gave the three of them a strange look, and disappeared with the croquet mallet to give it to Naomi.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:51 pm
by Swith Witherward
Monique blinked awake and looked at Fortu. "Oh, that was FUN! Next time... let's nab the Great Wall!"


Blythe tumbled out of the fray and landed on the grass. "Oh, there's the book," she said. She crossed her legs into a half-lotus position and started to read it.


Sutra, not used to Bones' antics, was peering inside the bunny suit in search of him. Swith laughed and walked away to join the others.


"And then," Minerva said, "he just walked up and pissed on the commissar. Right there, in front of everyone, as if it was a natural thing to do..."

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:52 pm
by Torsiedelle-Sturmovosk
Katya stumbled past Dora, half drunk. Someone chuckled at the sight as they tapped Dora's shoulder.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:53 pm
by Tiltjuice
Torsiedelle-Sturmovosk wrote:Katya stumbled past Dora, half drunk. Someone chuckled at the sight as they tapped Dora's shoulder.

Dora turned about, curiously. The fabric of her toga swished.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:54 pm
by Swith Witherward
Tiltjuice wrote:MB gave the three of them a strange look, and disappeared with the croquet mallet to give it to Naomi.

"MB!" Naomi hugged him tightly while sticking her tongue out at the cultists.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:54 pm
by The BranRiech
Tiltjuice wrote:"Oi, ya gotta give me a popsicle first," mumbled Tasia, straightening up. "One of those chocolate ones with ice cream on the inside..." She reached out and took hold of Kei's hand - or so she thought. Instead, Chrys toppled over into her, and then the pair landed on Kei again.

MB gave the three of them a strange look, and disappeared with the croquet mallet to give it to Naomi.

"Got it, here, why not sit down for a few?" Kei stabled the sisters and went off to the freezer, returning with a popsicle. "Couldn't get it opened, tried using magic and turned it into the opposite of what it was, so it's got ice cream on the outside and chocolate on the inside."


Brandi panicked and started running around the building.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 8:58 pm
by Torsiedelle-Sturmovosk
The BranRiech wrote:
Tiltjuice wrote:"Oi, ya gotta give me a popsicle first," mumbled Tasia, straightening up. "One of those chocolate ones with ice cream on the inside..." She reached out and took hold of Kei's hand - or so she thought. Instead, Chrys toppled over into her, and then the pair landed on Kei again.

MB gave the three of them a strange look, and disappeared with the croquet mallet to give it to Naomi.

"Got it, here, why not sit down for a few?" Kei stabled the sisters and went off to the freezer, returning with a popsicle. "Couldn't get it opened, tried using magic and turned it into the opposite of what it was, so it's got ice cream on the outside and chocolate on the inside."


Brandi panicked and started running around the building.

Torii left her room and saw Brandi running.


Tiltjuice wrote:
Torsiedelle-Sturmovosk wrote:Katya stumbled past Dora, half drunk. Someone chuckled at the sight as they tapped Dora's shoulder.

Dora turned about, curiously. The fabric of her toga swished.

It was a young woman in an SS-Themed uniform. She had silver-white hair and sharp red eyes.

"Why hello. Sorry to intrude on your festivities, but do you know a Lieutenant Tora Dimitrov?"

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 9:00 pm
by Tiltjuice
Swith Witherward wrote:"MB!" Naomi hugged him tightly while sticking her tongue out at the cultists.

The rabbit chattered happily, and approvingly. He bent his ears forward for a scratch.

The BranRiech wrote:"Got it, here, why not sit down for a few?" Kei stabled the sisters and went off to the freezer, returning with a popsicle. "Couldn't get it opened, tried using magic and turned it into the opposite of what it was, so it's got ice cream on the outside and chocolate on the inside."

Tasia (OOC - darn it, I keep forgetting her name!) peeled it open and began slurping ice cream off the tip. "That's tops..."

Chrys, on the other hand, blinked stupidly at her empty hands. "No mallet? Fine I'll use my hands...Now where's Dia?"

Torsiedelle-Sturmovosk wrote:It was a young woman in an SS-Themed uniform. She had silver-white hair and sharp red eyes.

"Why hello. Sorry to intrude on your festivities, but do you know a Lieutenant Tora Dimitrov?"

"Yes. Who are you?" Dora answered. Behind her, Dia jiggled back and forth trying to get her attention.

"Mmmmf...MMMMMMMF!" Little help here?!

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 9:01 pm
by The BranRiech
Torsiedelle-Sturmovosk wrote:Torii left her room and saw Brandi running.


"Oh, hey, Torii." Brandi pulled her hood over more, the light seemed blinding. "I'm sort of a vampire now . . ."

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 9:03 pm
by The New Velociraptor Empire
Swith Witherward wrote:Monique blinked awake and looked at Fortu. "Oh, that was FUN! Next time... let's nab the Great Wall!"

"Well, I'm sure they won't notice another piece gone." Fortu joked and realized his clothes weren't nearby.

Neil and gretta climbed outof their time-machine in their ill-fitting stolen uniforms. Scarface greeted them but his voice was muffled by the diving helmet. The chicks rode on his shoulder for protection.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 9:04 pm
by Torsiedelle-Sturmovosk
The BranRiech wrote:
Torsiedelle-Sturmovosk wrote:Torii left her room and saw Brandi running.


"Oh, hey, Torii." Brandi pulled her hood over more, the light seemed blinding. "I'm sort of a vampire now . . ."

Torii chuckled.

"Oh-ho-hokay then!"


"The name is Dimitrus Alexandrovna. I'm with the East Torsiedellie Peoples Army."

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 9:04 pm
by Swith Witherward
Tiltjuice wrote:The rabbit chattered happily, and approvingly. He bent his ears forward for a scratch.

Naomi laughed and scratched his ears. "You're the best bunny!"