Roads Untraveled- An Elfen High Documentary

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Erik in turn made a signal with his hand that nobody around him was likely to recognize, but it meant something equally as obcene as the one Gopher made, if not more. He then simply walked over to a nearby seat, grumbling something unintelligible in his native language, that mostly pertained to 'those asshole otherworlders'. He also pinched his nose again, to keep the smell of urine away. His sense of smell was rather keen after all.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

After a minute, Sanchez shrugged. "Alright then, here are some soldiers who will come with you." he gestured toward the three NPCs Hard had created. "They'll keep you safe. Christopher Straka, Avery Johnson and Emily Clerc are fine and decorated soldiers in their own right." Sanchez said for the benefit of the group as much as the camera.

Howard nodded. "Excellent, I am glad that we'll be heading out soon to see the world." he said, sounding happy. He did have a genuine curiosity in this stuff. At heart, he enjoyed social sciences and cultures. That was another reason he had done this documentary, after all.

Neil looked somewhat bored. "Alright, can we go now?"

Sanchez nodded. "Alright, sure. Get in the tank." he said as they walked outside into the Hellish landscape. Sanchez gestured toward a large tank Hard undoubtedly has a name and description porn for. For now, we will call it "Jessy." Sanchez said. "I named it after an old girlfriend of mine." he patted the machine. "It's a good one. Don't break it."

"Let's get in then." Howard said, entering the contraption.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

After witnessing all of the events described in the above post, Erik, who had followed the documentary group, figuring that his appointment wasn't all that important and that this would be a good opportunity to head out to the lands that were once his home, walked over to the tank and began sniffing it, much like he sniffed cameraman 2 and Hard's NPCs when they were presented by Sanchez, once the cameras were no longer focusing on them. He hadn't really recognized them, from which he assumed that he hadn't really met them before.

Anyway, he sniffed the tank.

"It smells safety... And... Nostalgic." He commented, before giving a mental shrug and hopping in, adjusting his glasses afterwards and getting into a comfortable position.

Which, unlike what you'd probably expect, is simply leaning back on his seat.

[Nude East Ireland]

"Ah, military vehicles. I'd prefer to drive a car. My Volvo is in the garage, if you..." he fell silent, and sighed. "Er, never-mind. Let me grab my bag and coat, and I'll just climb into that contraption of steel and death." Crawford walked back into the base, retrieving his bag, a doctor's bag of all things, and his dark blue blazer. He put the coat on, and walked up to Sanchez. "You never told me when I'd be getting that raise, by the by."

[Nationstatelandsville]

After a minute, Sanchez shrugged. "Alright then, here are some soldiers who will come with you." he gestured toward the three NPCs Hard had created. "They'll keep you safe. Christopher Straka, Avery Johnson and Emily Clerc are fine and decorated soldiers in their own right." Sanchez said for the benefit of the group as much as the camera.

Howard nodded. "Excellent, I am glad that we'll be heading out soon to see the world." he said, sounding happy. He did have a genuine curiosity in this stuff. At heart, he enjoyed social sciences and cultures. That was another reason he had done this documentary, after all.

Neil looked somewhat bored. "Alright, can we go now?"

Sanchez nodded. "Alright, sure. Get in the tank." he said as they walked outside into the Hellish landscape. Sanchez gestured toward a large tank Hard undoubtedly has a name and description porn for. For now, we will call it "Jessy." Sanchez said. "I named it after an old girlfriend of mine." he patted the machine. "It's a good one. Don't break it."

"Let's get in then." Howard said, entering the contraption.

"Uh, could I get a truck or something?" Gopher asked, "I'd like to get some footage of this thing tanking shit up in Hell."

"That doesn't sound safe," Cameraman 2 said.

"Neither does riding in a tank with your odor," Gopher replied, giving Cameraman 2 the finger, "That's it - Cameraman 2 rides in the truck and I go inside the tank with the people."

[The Inritus Extraho]

After a minute, Sanchez shrugged. "Alright then, here are some soldiers who will come with you." he gestured toward the three NPCs Hard had created. "They'll keep you safe. Christopher Straka, Avery Johnson and Emily Clerc are fine and decorated soldiers in their own right." Sanchez said for the benefit of the group as much as the camera.

Howard nodded. "Excellent, I am glad that we'll be heading out soon to see the world." he said, sounding happy. He did have a genuine curiosity in this stuff. At heart, he enjoyed social sciences and cultures. That was another reason he had done this documentary, after all.

Neil looked somewhat bored. "Alright, can we go now?"

Sanchez nodded. "Alright, sure. Get in the tank." he said as they walked outside into the Hellish landscape. Sanchez gestured toward a large tank Hard undoubtedly has a name and description porn for. For now, we will call it "Jessy." Sanchez said. "I named it after an old girlfriend of mine." he patted the machine. "It's a good one. Don't break it."

"Let's get in then." Howard said, entering the contraption.

Jade nodded, having watched wordlessly, and then clambered onto the tank quickly. She stood on the back armor plating, drawing shields up around herself and doubling the strength of the passive ones she had. "In you go, scientists." She smiled, and brought her hands up, cracking her knuckles. Oh, this is going to be fun.

[Ende]

Mary scowled. This was not an ideal assignment. Not at all. She really didn't want to be here.

Of course, that didn't matter at all.

"In you go, scientists." said Jade, sounding slightly amused. Mary sighed, and dejectedly trudged into the tank. Ah, well. It was just as well. She could use a bit of time away from the job. Perhaps she could relax a bit, rummage around in a few minds - this wasn't that terrible.

Messing with the soldiers would be dangerous - they had been trained to detect mental assaults, and doing that would be dangerous. The Japanese woman, from Elfen High, with the absolutely absurd cleavage and dress (where did she think this was, Hollywood? This was Hell. She'd get killed, raped, and eaten (if she was lucky, in that order) in seconds.) was probably a wizard of some sort, and messing with wizards was dangerous. She could try browsing through the thoughts of the unlucky Cameraman 2, but that didn't seem very interesting. He was just some unlucky fellow with an asshole boss. Perhaps she could run around in the boss's...no, that didn't sound fun.

As she took a few steps down into the vehicle, she looked back up at Jade.

She was young, from Elfen High, and it was unlikely that she would have any sort of training in mental defense.

Perhaps she could rummage through her thoughts. It was a harmless way to pass the time, really. Jade would never know (maybe she'd be confused for a bit, slightly worried, but Mary was good at what she did. There probably wouldn't be any long-term effects). Perhaps she could find out what Elfen High was like. She was interested in going, about six years ago, but her parents had decided that it was a poor idea (likely because of the Headmaster), and she instead was sent off to a private school instead. Finding out what that school was like would be interesting - she had heard a lot of things about the place.

"I'll do that later." she thought to herself, and then she walked down to a relatively secluded area of the tank (it was rather crowded) and sat down.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Neil leaned back in his chair, carefully keeping his mind focused on mundane topics such as the shitty weather and his hatred of Ebay, while Howard's brain went in all directions, focusing on the weather, the crew, the soldiers and scientists, the Elfen Highers, a few passing thoughts on banging Gopher after they got an Oscar (because Howard's a repressed bisexual) and an urge for cake.

But the tank continued to drive along and Howard turned to Mary. "So, what missions or research projects had you done before you came on this trip with Roads Untraveled?" he asked.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

"It's not a tank." Corporal Straka said, opening the rear hatch of the LAV III (the same LAV III I described here). "It's a LAV III, or Generation III Light Armoured Vehicle. Been in service 1999." He gave the armour a light rap with his knuckles. "She might not look it, but she's a tough beauty, straight from the Canadian Army. Got a bit of bite to it too; It's chaingun will literally rip any demon we encounter to shreds."

He stepped out of the way to allow the civilians into the back. "There's room for your gear, but try not to take up too much space. If a fight starts I will turn us right back around and return to base. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go help the others get the vehicle started. Corporal Schlinder will be in the back to answer any questions." With that he, Johnson, Dubois, and Clerc entered the vehicle. Straka and Johnson went to the front to get the vehicle started, while Dubois and Clerc went up into the turret.

Once everyone was inside and stowed away, the vehicle pulled out of the motor pool and through the gate, heading off down one of the improvised roads the ISSR had created out of the landscape.

[Ende]

Mary's eyes lit up. He was asking her about her projects? This was excellent. She loved talking about her work - and doing it, really. Well, she enjoyed the research aspect. The other parts weren't as great. Her coworkers disliked her (and vice versa, really), and the other parts of the job were rather dull.

"Well," she said, looking up at Howard, "I've been lucky enough not to go on very many missions, asides from brief research trips. However, there's this project I'm working on right now, and it's fascinating. I'm studying how Orc regeneration abilities work. You know about Orcs, correct? Well, you should. Fascinating creatures. They reproduce rarely, but they have incredibly long life-spans. The main reason is because of their regeneration ability - you can cut off an arm, and it'll grow back within minutes. They're a bit like gorillas, really, but, no, they're not like gorillas at all. Well, yes, they are, as far as I can tell, they have more mammalian characteristics than reptilian, but, don't think they're like gorillas. Gorillas are herbivores, and, well, you can't call Orcs herbivores. Certainly not." she said rapidly and enthusiastically, focused on answering his question. She took a pause and breathed - she had run out of breath.

"Anyway, the most recent project that I've been working on is figuring out orc regenerative ability. You know how cell replication works, mitosis, all that. Anyway, orcs are special in that their cells replicate at an unbelievably quick rate. You can slice an arm off, and it'll be back in minutes - did I say that? I think I've already said that. I've been trying to figure out the cause of this - they replicate their DNA much more quickly than we do, and of course, the root cause comes down to...well, magic. That's what I've been working on, actually. Magic is a powerful and confusing force, and attempting to apply the scientific method to it..."

She paused.

"It's a challenge, to say the least. I've been working on it for about a few weeks now. Magic seems to be intertwined into the orc DNA - it's as if they can harness it from whatever plane magical energy is on without even trying, and this gives them the ability to replicate as quickly as they do. If you could cut them off from harvesting this energy - and, again, I have no idea how they do it, it's some innate ability that they have - they'd probably lose their regenerative ability. Really, that's the difference between wizards and most normal humans. Wizards have the gift to tap into magic and use it - the form of which they use it is determined by a billion factors, none of which I can understand, and that's a completely different project which will probably take the next several decades to complete."

Her face fell, suddenly. She remembered something she had heard - just two days previously.

"Well, if we get more decades." she said, sounding slightly sad. "You heard Crowley, didn't you? I'm not sure if he's really telling the truth or not - I've heard that Crowley is a frequent user of drugs - but, again, he's the most powerful wizard that we're currently aware of, and he seemed serious."

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Overhearing Mary's comment about Crowley's doomsday prophecy (Richard's, really, but not many people knew that, and it was Crowley who said it on TV), which he too had heard, Erik grumbled something unintelligible and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"World will not end. Whatever wizard hippie said is not important. I bet you band of misfits will come and save day. Like ever." He said. "For now, should focus on project, and not worry about future." He stated, more firmly than before.

"No humanity and no science will die. They last forever. They eternal!" He finished.

After that, though, with not much else to do, he simply took a moment to clean his glasses.

[Nude East Ireland]

Mary's eyes lit up.

Then Crawford sat down next to her, and smiled at Howard. He grabbed Howard's hand and shook it. "Hello, I'm Andrew Redford Crawford, III. I believe we've met, but it's never too safe to be sorry," he said. He waited for an awkward silence to pass. "Any who, I'd love to discuss my work, as well. I've made many major advancements in understanding Demonic culture over the last few years. My books have let even a normal human learn about Hell, especially my biography of the mighty hero Lazrian. He's a legend, out here in Hell."

He scratched his nose, and nodded. "Now, Hell is an interesting place, with many cultures. Dys is different from Heavensgate, Cord is different from Mozambique, and so on. But these cultures can either be completely different, or they could just call their leader something different. No matter what it is, cultures in Hell clash often. Fighting is a sign of honor in Hell, but this is becoming restricted to what we call the 'Pre-Luciferians', or as the Demonic texts refer to as 'Old Time Demons'. They've come before Lucifer, believe it or not. Those Demons are much more animalistic, like spider-Demons, or bird-Demons. More humanlike demons are 'Post-Luciferians', or 'New Time Demons'."

Reaching into his bag, Crawford pulled out a large, dusty old book. It was black leather, with a golden Pentagram on the cover. He opened it, flipping until he found a map of Hell. "This is a map of Hell," he said, bluntly. "Here in the northern regions is the Northern Wastes. We're here, on the border. We should be heading through some of Azazel's territory. Now, the Demons there are a mix, but the Pre-Luciferians are largely respected, and they are the ones that Azazel makes lieutenants. It's common in Hell, especially these regions, to see Lucifer as an Odin-like figure, or some-such. I was never good with Indian paganism. But the point is, Lucifer is a folklore hero, and perhaps a god, in some cultures like the Tribes of Lilitheistics, who dwell in the Dominions of the Dread Lord Murbusiel, which are here on the map. Lucifer is very revered in all parts of Hell, even by Demons in Heavensgate. Relations with Heavensgate are another thing entirely, and I could go into details about it for hours, maybe even days. However, we don't have time, so I'll say that it's much like Palestine-Israel. Or, how that situation was, until Magic was discovered. That's when I got a job, finally."

He put the book back into his bag, and smiled. "But we can continue later, if you'd like. I've got much more information."

[Nationstatelandsville]

Overhearing Mary's comment about Crowley's doomsday prophecy (Richard's, really, but not many people knew that, and it was Crowley who said it on TV), which he too had heard, Erik grumbled something unintelligible and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"World will not end. Whatever wizard hippie said is not important. I bet you band of misfits will come and save day. Like ever." He said. "For now, should focus on project, and not worry about future." He stated, more firmly than before.

"No humanity and no science will die. They last forever. They eternal!" He finished.

After that, though, with not much else to do, he simply took a moment to clean his glasses.

Gopher pulled in on the dog-man, gesturing towards him with his head. If they could get this on video, they could make a whole new documentary about the reactions of the supernatural community about the apocalypse.

Meanwhile, Cameraman 2 looked over the shoulders of the man driving the tank, recording it all.

"So...." he said awkwardly, "How do tanks... work? Do they just drive like cars? I'm not a big military guy, you see. I like office work better. I only took this job because my dad is the producer."

"Can we throw this asshole out of the tank?" Gopher asked, "He'd make a lovely crunching sound when we run him over. Could sell it to some special effects company for a few bucks."

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

Overhearing Mary's comment about Crowley's doomsday prophecy (Richard's, really, but not many people knew that, and it was Crowley who said it on TV), which he too had heard, Erik grumbled something unintelligible and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"World will not end. Whatever wizard hippie said is not important. I bet you band of misfits will come and save day. Like ever." He said. "For now, should focus on project, and not worry about future." He stated, more firmly than before.

"No humanity and no science will die. They last forever. They eternal!" He finished.

After that, though, with not much else to do, he simply took a moment to clean his glasses.

Gopher pulled in on the dog-man, gesturing towards him with his head. If they could get this on video, they could make a whole new documentary about the reactions of the supernatural community about the apocalypse.

Meanwhile, Cameraman 2 looked over the shoulders of the man driving the tank, recording it all.

"So...." he said awkwardly, "How do tanks... work? Do they just drive like cars? I'm not a big military guy, you see. I like office work better. I only took this job because my dad is the producer."

"Can we throw this asshole out of the tank?" Gopher asked, "He'd make a lovely crunching sound when we run him over. Could sell it to some special effects company for a few bucks."

"IT'S NOT A TANK, IT'S AN IFV!" Avery Johnson shouted back. "AND THIS MAN IS BUSY MAKING SURE NONE OF YOUR EGOS END UP SMEARED ALL OVER THE PAVEMENT. SO KINDLY SHUT THE HELL UP, OR YOU CAN START WALKING!"

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Erik, however, did not really notice Gopher being Gopher nearby. Instead, he was listening to the conversations around him. Namely, what Crawford said to Howard about the cultures of Hell and all of that jazz.

When Crawford finished, Erik snorted, then pointed at Crawford. Or, more like, jabbing his index finger into Crawford's chest. "Not raised in Hell." He said. He then pointed at himself with both thumbs. "Raised in Hell." He stated, before crossing his arms. "Point."

He then shouted back at Avery. "WE CAN WALK, AND YOUR PRECIOUS BASE NOT GET GOOD REPUTATION!"

[Nude East Ireland]

Erik, however, did not really notice Gopher being Gopher nearby. Instead, he was listening to the conversations around him. Namely, what Crawford said to Howard about the cultures of Hell and all of that jazz.

When Crawford finished, Erik snorted, then pointed at Crawford. Or, more like, jabbing his index finger into Crawford's chest. "Not raised in Hell." He said. He then pointed at himself with both thumbs. "Raised in Hell." He stated, before crossing his arms. "Point."

"Ah, yes, you must be one of the savage humans. I believe the Demons refer to you as 'squishy pretenders'," he replied. He looked into his bag, and then turned back to Erik. "I'm sorry, I forgot my English-to-Illiterate dictionary. Maybe next time."

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Erik then narrowed his eyes and stared right at Crawford. "I'm afraid I am quite literate, Mr. Crawford. I am a linguist, after all. I simply prefer to not demonstrate it, since I believe that English grammar is stupid and makes no sense at all, as anyone who has read my books can see. And for your information, the 'squishy pretenders' bit? It is not legitimate information. Lilitheist Succubi are not a good source of legitimate information, at all. Perhaps you can include that in your next book. It might actually tell the people something useful about Hell if you do." He said.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

Suddenly the armoured vehicle screeched to a halt, Cameraman 2 going nose-first into the back of the driver's chair, everyone else ending up sprawled all over the floor, benches, or each other. Christopher looked behind him. "I said, if there were any fighting, I'd be turning this ride right back around and returning us to base. Now, you've got two options: Either shut your fucking mouths and stop being a bunch of 12-year-olds, or we go back to base and Roads Untraveled becomes a very apt name. Choose wisely."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Suddenly the armoured vehicle screeched to a halt, Cameraman 2 going nose-first into the back of the driver's chair, everyone else ending up sprawled all over the floor, benches, or each other. Christopher looked behind him. "I said, if there were any fighting, I'd be turning this ride right back around and returning us to base. Now, you've got two options: Either shut your fucking mouths and stop being a bunch of 12-year-olds, or we go back to base and Roads Untraveled becomes a very apt name. Choose wisely."

There was dead silence. Howard stood up as though he would say something...

Then realised Gopher would undoubtedly have a better reaction and sat down.

[Ende]

Mary's eyes lit up.

Then Crawford sat down next to her, and smiled at Howard. He grabbed Howard's hand and shook it. "Hello, I'm Andrew Redford Crawford, III. I believe we've met, but it's never too safe to be sorry," he said. He waited for an awkward silence to pass. "Any who, I'd love to discuss my work, as well. I've made many major advancements in understanding Demonic culture over the last few years. My books have let even a normal human learn about Hell, especially my biography of the mighty hero Lazrian. He's a legend, out here in Hell."

He scratched his nose, and nodded. "Now, Hell is an interesting place, with many cultures. Dys is different from Heavensgate, Cord is different from Mozambique, and so on. But these cultures can either be completely different, or they could just call their leader something different. No matter what it is, cultures in Hell clash often. Fighting is a sign of honor in Hell, but this is becoming restricted to what we call the 'Pre-Luciferians', or as the Demonic texts refer to as 'Old Time Demons'. They've come before Lucifer, believe it or not. Those Demons are much more animalistic, like spider-Demons, or bird-Demons. More humanlike demons are 'Post-Luciferians', or 'New Time Demons'."

Reaching into his bag, Crawford pulled out a large, dusty old book. It was black leather, with a golden Pentagram on the cover. He opened it, flipping until he found a map of Hell. "This is a map of Hell," he said, bluntly. "Here in the northern regions is the Northern Wastes. We're here, on the border. We should be heading through some of Azazel's territory. Now, the Demons there are a mix, but the Pre-Luciferians are largely respected, and they are the ones that Azazel makes lieutenants. It's common in Hell, especially these regions, to see Lucifer as an Odin-like figure, or some-such. I was never good with Indian paganism*. But the point is, Lucifer is a folklore hero, and perhaps a god, in some cultures like the Tribes of Lilitheistics, who dwell in the Dominions of the Dread Lord Murbusiel, which are here on the map. Lucifer is very revered in all parts of Hell, even by Demons in Heavensgate. Relations with Heavensgate are another thing entirely, and I could go into details about it for hours, maybe even days. However, we don't have time, so I'll say that it's much like Palestine-Israel. Or, how that situation was, until Magic was discovered. That's when I got a job, finally."

He put the book back into his bag, and smiled. "But we can continue later, if you'd like. I've got much more information."

Mary scowled at Crawford. Well, she tried. Really, she found his speech on Hell and the information fascinating, and it was hard to be angry while interested in something.

"I...I think he was asking about my project, and you kind of cut me off a bit." she stammered, sounding the slightest bit irritated.

And then Erik interrupted. Mary scowled at him.

"Erik, you know everything there is to know...about one area of Hell. One. Hell is gigantic. It's almost the size of Jupiter...well, we haven't actually been able to put satellites up, the atmosphere keeps killing them, and we haven't actually measured it, but it's estimated to be the size of Jupiter. Crawford knows what he's talking about." she said bluntly, and then she continued.

"Anyway, Crawford, that was fascinating. The PreLuciferian demons, if I remember correctly, are much more biologically durable than the PostLuciferian, correct? The PostLucifereans were, really, if I remember correctly, created by Lucifer. They're similar to Angels, but they're completely different. Angels are essentially Humans 2.0. They've eliminated all unnecessary biological functions, perfected efficiency in energy release and all that...I don't like them, actually. I've met one or two. They don't have emotions, and, really, I don't understand them. They could be ruling Hell by now, if they had half the passion we do. They don't, for some reason. I don't know why. Of course, you can't scientifically document and chart things like passion and emotion, so that's really just speculation, but...anyway, my point was that the Post-Lucifereans are essentially the opposite. I've gone over a few bodies before. They're...well, to be honest, I've found genetic coding from everything to Cyclops to Yeti in them, and they're quite interesting creatures. No two Post-Luciferians are the same. They can...I'm not even sure how this works, again, this'll take years of research, but they can take the genetics of nearly any species and blend them...they can reproduce with anything even close to being related to them. It's like a mouse and a horse reproducing - absolutely ridiculous. They do it anyway, though."

She looked up. Erik and Crawford were too busy arguing with each other to listen to her, and then there was a marine screaming at both of them about something or other.

She was starting to remember why she didn't like meeting people.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

"Corporal." Erik said once he got up from his rather uncomfortable position. "You should not do that. Minds might get hurt. Head injury is bad for science!" He chided the soldier. "And fighting means fist to face. Sword to heart. Leg to crotch." He said, before motioning towards the others. "This not fighting. This discussion. You just ignorant about Hellish culture. Xenophobe." He said, and then descended into grumbling some more unintelligible things before sitting down again. He then looked across at Mary.

"First hand information always better. But you have point. I shut up. Also, magic measurement says it is big as Jupiter. But again, we not know how it work." He said, before leaning back on his chair in silence, and taking his glasses to clean them again.

Then he noticed the crack.

"...Fuck."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Then Crawford sat down next to her, and smiled at Howard. He grabbed Howard's hand and shook it. "Hello, I'm Andrew Redford Crawford, III. I believe we've met, but it's never too safe to be sorry," he said. He waited for an awkward silence to pass. "Any who, I'd love to discuss my work, as well. I've made many major advancements in understanding Demonic culture over the last few years. My books have let even a normal human learn about Hell, especially my biography of the mighty hero Lazrian. He's a legend, out here in Hell."

He scratched his nose, and nodded. "Now, Hell is an interesting place, with many cultures. Dys is different from Heavensgate, Cord is different from Mozambique, and so on. But these cultures can either be completely different, or they could just call their leader something different. No matter what it is, cultures in Hell clash often. Fighting is a sign of honor in Hell, but this is becoming restricted to what we call the 'Pre-Luciferians', or as the Demonic texts refer to as 'Old Time Demons'. They've come before Lucifer, believe it or not. Those Demons are much more animalistic, like spider-Demons, or bird-Demons. More humanlike demons are 'Post-Luciferians', or 'New Time Demons'."

Reaching into his bag, Crawford pulled out a large, dusty old book. It was black leather, with a golden Pentagram on the cover. He opened it, flipping until he found a map of Hell. "This is a map of Hell," he said, bluntly. "Here in the northern regions is the Northern Wastes. We're here, on the border. We should be heading through some of Azazel's territory. Now, the Demons there are a mix, but the Pre-Luciferians are largely respected, and they are the ones that Azazel makes lieutenants. It's common in Hell, especially these regions, to see Lucifer as an Odin-like figure, or some-such. I was never good with Indian paganism*. But the point is, Lucifer is a folklore hero, and perhaps a god, in some cultures like the Tribes of Lilitheistics, who dwell in the Dominions of the Dread Lord Murbusiel, which are here on the map. Lucifer is very revered in all parts of Hell, even by Demons in Heavensgate. Relations with Heavensgate are another thing entirely, and I could go into details about it for hours, maybe even days. However, we don't have time, so I'll say that it's much like Palestine-Israel. Or, how that situation was, until Magic was discovered. That's when I got a job, finally."

He put the book back into his bag, and smiled. "But we can continue later, if you'd like. I've got much more information."

Mary scowled at Crawford. Well, she tried. Really, she found his speech on Hell and the information fascinating, and it was hard to be angry while interested in something.

"I...I think he was asking about my project, and you kind of cut me off a bit." she stammered, sounding the slightest bit irritated.

And then Erik interrupted. Mary scowled at him.

"Erik, you know everything there is to know...about one area of Hell. One. Hell is gigantic. It's almost the size of Jupiter...well, we haven't actually been able to put satellites up, the atmosphere keeps killing them, and we haven't actually measured it, but it's estimated to be the size of Jupiter. Crawford knows what he's talking about." she said bluntly, and then she continued.

"Anyway, Crawford, that was fascinating. The PreLuciferian demons, if I remember correctly, are much more biologically durable than the PostLuciferian, correct? The PostLucifereans were, really, if I remember correctly, created by Lucifer. They're similar to Angels, but they're completely different. Angels are essentially Humans 2.0. They've eliminated all unnecessary biological functions, perfected efficiency in energy release and all that...I don't like them, actually. I've met one or two. They don't have emotions, and, really, I don't understand them. They could be ruling Hell by now, if they had half the passion we do. They don't, for some reason. I don't know why. Of course, you can't scientifically document and chart things like passion and emotion, so that's really just speculation, but...anyway, my point was that the Post-Lucifereans are essentially the opposite. I've gone over a few bodies before. They're...well, to be honest, I've found genetic coding from everything to Cyclops to Yeti in them, and they're quite interesting creatures. No two Post-Luciferians are the same. They can...I'm not even sure how this works, again, this'll take years of research, but they can take the genetics of nearly any species and blend them...they can reproduce with anything even close to being related to them. It's like a mouse and a horse reproducing - absolutely ridiculous. They do it anyway, though."

She looked up. Erik and Crawford were too busy arguing with each other to listen to her, and then there was a marine screaming at both of them about something or other.

She was starting to remember why she didn't like meeting people.

Neil listened with some interest while the Gopher cameraman seemed to be bubbling with rage. It looked like that supernova would be interesting to see when it resulted. "So demons basically can fok everything then. And then breed. Interesting, actually, we found a few species of demon back at the base that were bred with lions and cockroaches It worked, somehow, though the researchers requested brain bleach. Several gallons of it, from my understanding." The Namibian said. He knew the trip would go on no matter how much people hated it, so he wasn't concerned by Christopher's rant. Neil tried to not let most things concern him. It only caused annoyance when he did.

"Fascinating research and information, really. My name's Neil, by the way." he said, shaking her hand.

[Nude East Ireland]

Crawford did manage to hear Mary's rambling, and it brought a smile to his face. "Indeed, you're correct. Very much so, in fact." He paused. "You know... We could do a study together! Yes, yes, it's perfect. With our combined knowledge we could do anything! We'll explore the unexplored regions and histories of this barren world. We can have articles in every newspaper in the world. Textbooks on the subjects, novels, essays... Not to mention that I'd love to work with someone like you. You're quite beautiful, Ms. Mary." He smiled, trying to be charming, but for all he knew about relationships, it failed. He couldn't release any Demonic pheromones, either. He stared out the window for a moment, but turned back to Mary. "We should make an appointment to meet once this documentary is over," he suggested.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

All of a sudden, black cloud.

It covered the entire vehicle in seconds before the sky and air were clear again.

Then they weren't in Kansas anymore. Rather, they were in a completely different part of Hell. Glancing up, they'd see the sky was pitch black and dark. Howard almost pissed himself. "...What happened?"

They'd find there was no radio nor cell reception or any of that fun stuff.

No talk of turning anything around now. And now I got control of Hard's military guys.

[The Inritus Extraho]

All of a sudden, black cloud.

It covered the entire vehicle in seconds before the sky and air were clear again.

Then they weren't in Kansas anymore. Rather, they were in a completely different part of Hell. Glancing up, they'd see the sky was pitch black and dark. Howard almost pissed himself. "...What happened?"

They'd find there was no radar nor cell reception or any of that fun stuff.

No talk of turning anything around now.

Jade almost flinched as the black cloud passed over. "Well... damnit." It was obvious to anyone that looked at her face that she was thinking, calculating, trying to find a new way to survive. Damnit, Crowley... You said this would be a cushy job protecting the squishies. She frowned, tapping her foot angrily against the floor of the not-tank-that-I'm-calling-a-tank-because-it's-simpler. Jade, of course, knew the name of it. Her Writer, however, was too lazy to look it up. AFB IV or something? Perhaps ABV II?