Ypres, 1914 (OOC) Open

[Nude East Ireland]

Hi, hello, bonjour, etc.

This is a comedy. Surprised? You really shouldn't be. If you don't enjoy oddities, the supernatural, explosions, warfare, or the feeling of amusement, then you don't belong here.

There is no real reason for this RP to exist.

It's the battle of the century, in the past. Two titans are in a massive war - the coalition of Great Britain and France against the German Empire. And in a blend of fiction and history, the small Belgian town of Ypres will be the battlefield where everything changes. What we as present-day humans know of Ypres is that several battles occurred here during the course of the First World War (not to be confused with the equally infamous and devastating First Word War), and that the first took place from October to November of 1914. That is basically the outline of the fighting. But history has long forgotten the secret behind-the-scenes fighting that took place in the First Battle of Ypres. But now, we will document the true events that occurred on that Belgian battlefield - the true events about the End of the World.

The elite of the elite; the best of the best; greatest of the greatest; none of them are here.

Newly commissioned, DP Company is made up of the most under-qualified men in the entirety of the British Army. Against the better judgement of intelligent military commanders, persons in high places have made DP Company the most high-priority intelligence-gathering and German-fighting force in the entire Army. And you, my friend, have just been drafted into DP Company, as part of the Army's latest assault on Ypres. The plan is simple; stop the Germans.

Our allies; we are Brits, after all. Well, you are. Actually, your character is, you could be American or Canadian or anything but British, really. If you are British, congratulations. I am not.

Do not shoot Britons, and if you do, claim it was a German who killed them. Everyone will doubt you; you're one of the least competent soldiers in the Army, after all. But they also won't suspect you either, since you wouldn't be thought of as being able to pick up a gun in the first place.

Evil imperialists from the Continent. They're selfish, ignorant, violent, and undoubtedly evil - but they have cool mustaches. We believe that the German facial hair is used to control the minds of the people, who loyally serve their god-king, the Kaiser.

The highest agencies of intelligence in Great Britain and France believe that Germans are mass-produced in 'Berlin', a massive hive and factory of pollution and rampant crime and corruption. It is also believed to be the capital of the Kaiser and his government.

France is not to be trusted. They talk funny and smell awful.

Belgium is a puppet of ours. They produce our chocolate, and must be protected at all costs.

Austria-Hungary is on the other side of the Continent, and not to be worried about.

Russia is a winter wasteland. Dragons dwell there, and it is unknown if any humans remain.

America is our deranged, emancipated daughter. Watch her with caution, she may become rebellious.

APP
Name:
Age:
Species: British (I filled it out already so you don't have to. You're welcome)
Appearance: (I'd prefer a real-life picture, or description)
Position within the Company:
Reasons for joining the Army: (If you were drafted, just say so)
Biography:
RP Example:
Do you like marmalade: (Relevant)

DP Company
Only Slightly Better Than France's

Staff List
CO - Major Miles Wadsworth Henry F. Standish Jr. is a hopeless romantic from Northleach, and the inventor of the backscratcher.
Company Doctor - Dr. Henry Jekyll is an aging schizophrenic gifted in potions.
Artillerymen-
Cavalrymen -
Infantrymen -
Redcoat Men -
Swordsmen -
Intelligence Agents - Auguste C. Bell
Misc. -

[Nationstatelandsville]

Name: Auguste C. Bell
Age: 105 - wait, shit, I mean 40. 40.
Species: "British"
Appearance:

Ahem. Nothing to see here.

Position within the Company: Intelligence Agent
Reasons for joining the Army: They had marmalade.
Biography: Supposedly born in Sussex, 1874, to two alcoholic theater actors, Mr. Bell's accent is suspiciously American. He then claims to have been orphaned, before being adopted by a Scottish merchant, who raised him and his siblings like their own child. Bell spent his young age practicing the dramatic arts, aspiring to be like his shitty, shitty dead parents. Eventually, however, these dreams faded, and he prepared himself for a truly awful life of being a linguist. He knocked his girlfriend up and they became engaged, at which point he skipped town to attend the University of Virginia, in America, which had strict rules against alcoholism, drug use, gambling, etc.

Bell broke every single one of those rules in one night and impregnated the dean's daughter. Despite this, it still took him a full year to drop out.

He reviled Virginia and returned home, at which point he joined the military for a short time, despite the fact that there is no recorded instance of his name being used by anyone ever before he joined the DP Company (sort of - see below). He spent four years there, before leaving and becoming a poet, novelist, and newspaper owner. He came to marry his cousin, who "died of tuberculosis" during a drunken argument between the two. His newspaper had failed not long before that, and, without any source of income or affection, he became lost. He decided he needed a little zest in his life, so he faked his death. His obituary is the only record of him prior to joining the Company.

And that's about when he enlisted. He occasionally claims to have spent some time "abroad", and can also occasionally be heard mumbling about someone named "Griswold", whom he does not seem particularly fond of. Beyond that, however, he is an enigmatic (and not well-liked) figure. He's a known alcoholic (no shit), a compulsive liar, a bitter, sullen bastard, and an utter sociopath.
RP Example: No.
Do you like marmalade: This is the entire reason for his existence.

[Nude East Ireland]

Position within the Company: Intelligence Agent

I thought you were a more of a Pyro, to be honest.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Position within the Company: Intelligence Agent

I thought you were a more of a Pyro, to be honest.

He'd love that, but sadly, it seems that "flamethrowers are only for trained professionals".

[Nude East Ireland]

I thought you were a more of a Pyro, to be honest.

He'd love that, but sadly, it seems that "flamethrowers are only for trained professionals".

Poppycock. Flamethrowers are for everybody.

[United Kingdom of Poland]

what would a forward observer be.

[Nude East Ireland]

what would a forward observer be.

Redcoat Man.

[United Kingdom of Poland]

what would a forward observer be.

Redcoat Man.

what is a redcoat man exactly, because I dont want to be a REMF

[Nude East Ireland]

Redcoat Man.

what is a redcoat man exactly, because I dont want to be a REMF

You dress as a Redcoat, from stereotypical Colonial England. You have a musket, and a giant fluffy hat that goes up two feet in the air. You talk stereotypical British (actually, everyone does). And Wellington boots are a must.

[United Kingdom of Poland]

Name: Matthew S. Thomas
Age: 29
Species: British (I filled it out already so you don't have to. You're welcome)
Appearance: (I'd prefer a real-life picture, or description) 5'9", 150pds, caucasian with brown hair and blue eyes
Position within the Company:artilleryman
Reasons for joining the Army: (If you were drafted, just say so) volenteered because A.he thought he was to smart to be shot at as some foot private.
B.he he doesnt trust horses so no to cavalry. C. consideres airmen to be prettyboys who run away from a fight. and D. likes to make things go boom
Biography: born 1885 to a wealthy family. His dad was an african explorer who constantly took Matt's mom on safaris. Matt was always a little "off" as a child and enjoyed setting of elaborate machines using gunpowder at the age of ten. when a horse bucked him off at the age of 11 he developed an irrational fear of horses. the knock to his head made him even more crazy as well. At the age of 17 he tried to hunt using a makeshift cannon made of leftover gutter piping,glue, and gasoline. As you can guess, it failed, miserably. his next attempt however, using welding instead of glue succeded in hitting a window of a house 3 neighbors down, though he never got caught. He later went to oxford where he earned a degree in mathimatics as well as destroying his lab in a gunpowder explosion, destroying one of his professors automobiles with his cannon, and as a final prank after he graduated, shooting a smokebomb into the deans office(if you are wondering how he got away with it, lets just say that the files were also destroyed in the deans office fire). he joined the artillery but his constant smartass remarks as well as his mental state( He would routinely ride the cannons like they were horses, added extra gunpowder to the shells "to get more umph", and tried to shoot skeet using mills bombs) got him sent to DP company. in general he is a smartass that is crazier then anything Lewis Carroll could have created.
RP Example:
Do you like marmalade: (Relevant) yes

[Nude East Ireland]

Name: Matthew S. Thomas
Age: 29
Species: British (I filled it out already so you don't have to. You're welcome)
Appearance: (I'd prefer a real-life picture, or description) 5'9", 150pds, caucasian with brown hair and blue eyes
Position within the Company:artilleryman
Reasons for joining the Army: (If you were drafted, just say so) volenteered because he didn't want to be drafted as a private.
Biography: born 1885 to a wealthy family. He went to cambriage at the age of 18 and got a degree in mathimatics. he volunteered as an artilleryman to use his mathimatic skills to good use. was seconded to DP company.
RP Example:
Do you like marmalade: (Relevant) dont know what it is.

The app is so void of any depth or feeling. I have no idea what your character is like, and he just seems like a bore. Un-accepted.

[Kryskov]

nevermind

[United Kingdom of Poland]

Name: Matthew S. Thomas
Age: 29
Species: British (I filled it out already so you don't have to. You're welcome)
Appearance: (I'd prefer a real-life picture, or description) 5'9", 150pds, caucasian with brown hair and blue eyes
Position within the Company:artilleryman
Reasons for joining the Army: (If you were drafted, just say so) volenteered because he didn't want to be drafted as a private.
Biography: born 1885 to a wealthy family. He went to cambriage at the age of 18 and got a degree in mathimatics. he volunteered as an artilleryman to use his mathimatic skills to good use. was seconded to DP company.
RP Example:
Do you like marmalade: (Relevant) dont know what it is.

The app is so void of any depth or feeling. I have no idea what your character is like, and he just seems like a bore. Un-accepted.

I edited it, is it better now.

[Len Hyet]

Name: Benjamin Silva
Age: 28
Species: British
Appearance:

Position within the Company: Machinegunner (not on list I know. But please?
Reasons for joining the Army: French Biddies
Biography: Silva has lived an unimpressive life. He is the son of a coal miner, and grew up in the village around the mine. His father died of the black death when Silva was sixteen, just old enough to begin work in the mines. There he stayed for two years before being drafted. During training he showed an aptitude for the Machinegun, and so a machine gunner he became.
RP Example: Don't you know me?
Do you like marmalade: I prefer butter

[Nude East Ireland]

Name: Matthew S. Thomas
Age: 29
Species: British (I filled it out already so you don't have to. You're welcome)
Appearance: (I'd prefer a real-life picture, or description) 5'9", 150pds, caucasian with brown hair and blue eyes
Position within the Company:artilleryman
Reasons for joining the Army: (If you were drafted, just say so) volenteered because A.he thought he was to smart to be shot at as some foot private.
B.he he doesnt trust horses so no to cavalry. C. consideres airmen to be prettyboys who run away from a fight. and D. likes to make things go boom
Biography: born 1885 to a wealthy family. His dad was an african explorer who constantly took Matt's mom on safaris. Matt was always a little "off" as a child and enjoyed setting of elaborate machines using gunpowder at the age of ten. when a horse bucked him off at the age of 11 he developed an irrational fear of horses. the knock to his head made him even more crazy as well. At the age of 17 he tried to hunt using a makeshift cannon made of leftover gutter piping,glue, and gasoline. As you can guess, it failed, miserably. his next attempt however, using welding instead of glue succeded in hitting a window of a house 3 neighbors down, though he never got caught. He later went to oxford where he earned a degree in mathimatics as well as destroying his lab in a gunpowder explosion, destroying one of his professors automobiles with his cannon, and as a final prank after he graduated, shooting a smokebomb into the deans office(if you are wondering how he got away with it, lets just say that the files were also destroyed in the deans office fire). he joined the artillery but his constant smartass remarks as well as his mental state( He would routinely ride the cannons like they were horses, added extra gunpowder to the shells "to get more umph", and tried to shoot skeet using mills bombs) got him sent to DP company. in general he is a smartass that is crazier then anything Lewis Carroll could have created.
RP Example:
Do you like marmalade: (Relevant) yes

You'd better use proper grammar in the IC. Accepted, I suppose.

RP Example: Don't you know me?

No, I don't. And there is no room for machine gunners in this Company.

[Lambrinisia]

Name: Johnathon Delasy
Age: 23
Species: British, London variant
Appearance: 6'4" tall, brown hair, blue eyes. Fairly muscular.
Position within the Company: Artilleryman
Reasons for joining the Army: Drafted
Biography: John was born into a middle-class family in West London. He enjoyed the boring life of a student at the local school and was planning to go to University and study for a Chemistry degree. John had an aptitude for the Sciences and believed that he could make a difference within this world. He was betrothed to a beautiful young lady called Francesca, who was the heiress to her father's butcher shop chain. John was drafted when the war came, a few months before he was set to marry. The ceremony was rushed through and a week before he was due to leave, he was married. John is desperate to return home to his faithful wife where he may begin life anew. On his last visit home, he and Francesca conceived a child. So far his wife is 4 months pregnant.

John was drafted into the military as an Infantryman but was soon transferred to the Artillery when he showed an aptitude for mathematics, in particular working out trajectories. He is now one of the lead gunners, always being able to work out where to shoot on unfamiliar terrain.
RP Example: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=194948
Do you like marmalade: I freakin' love it.

[Mexican Liberation]

Name:Joseph Henry Piles II
Age:26
Species: British (Don't you mean nationality?)
Appearance:

Position within the Company:Swordsmen
Reasons for joining the Army: Drafted,he was planning on going voluntarily,but before he could even leave his front door to serve his country,the officials came knocking.That's when he realized that he's not really army material.
Biography:Joseph was never the sociable or popular type in school.He spent most of his time either by the teacher's side or on his own writing poems and short stories.He had a dream of going to a university and study to become a writer,but his dream was shattered when he was kicked out of his university after being framed for a horrible prank he did not commit involving the dean,marmalade,tomato soup,and a classic Halloween tall tale.The end result?Let's just say 40 students were kicked out,Piles one of them,10 arrested,5 professors laid off,and 2 heart attacks from weary souls.The prank itself was not as serious,but the response from some of the students caused chain reactions,causing them the whole school to riot for fear that the "Demon" will get them.Though he was kicked out,this did not stop Joseph from attempting his life goal of becoming a writer.He lived in his parent's house for a couple years before finally getting his own place.During his time alone,he had written several short stories and published them in local newspapers and magazines,living off the royalties he got.Most of his work was based loosely on Edgar Allen Poe and other gothic and dark authors.When the war had struck,he had felt more then happy to serve his king,but as he was right about to visit his local recruiter,there was a knock on his door.He answered to the discovery that he had been drafted.At first,he felt thrilled and excited,but now,after his deployment,he realizes that he is not at all army material,and must do whatever it takes to get home,whether it be killing a German,loosing an arm,or walking 1,000 kilometers.Who knows,he may even write about his experiences once he gets home,or if he gets home.
RP Example:An FT RP.Currently playing as the UCIN,an intergalactic civilization composing mainly of humans.
Do you like marmalade: Hell yes!

[Nationstatelandsville]

Name:Joseph Henry Piles II
Age:26
Species: British (Don't you mean nationality?)
Appearance:
(Image)
Position within the Company:Swordsmen
Reasons for joining the Army: Drafted,he was planning on going voluntarily,but before he could even leave his front door to serve his country,the officials came knocking.That's when he realized that he's not really army material.
Biography:Joseph was never the sociable or popular type in school.He spent most of his time either by the teacher's side or on his own writing poems and short stories.He had a dream of going to a university and study to become a writer,but his dream was shattered when he was kicked out of his university after being framed for a horrible prank he did not commit involving the dean,marmalade,tomato soup,and a classic Halloween tall tale.The end result?Let's just say 40 students were kicked out,Piles one of them,10 arrested,5 professors laid off,and 2 heart attacks from weary souls.The prank itself was not as serious,but the response from some of the students caused chain reactions,causing them the whole school to riot for fear that the "Demon" will get them.Though he was kicked out,this did not stop Joseph from attempting his life goal of becoming a writer.He lived in his parent's house for a couple years before finally getting his own place.During his time alone,he had written several short stories and published them in local newspapers and magazines,living off the royalties he got.Most of his work was based loosely on Edgar Allen Poe and other gothic and dark authors.When the war had struck,he had felt more then happy to serve his king,but as he was right about to visit his local recruiter,there was a knock on his door.He answered to the discovery that he had been drafted.At first,he felt thrilled and excited,but now,after his deployment,he realizes that he is not at all army material,and must do whatever it takes to get home,whether it be killing a German,loosing an arm,or walking 1,000 kilometers.Who knows,he may even write about his experiences once he gets home,or if he gets home.
RP Example:An FT RP.Currently playing as the UCIN,an intergalactic civilization composing mainly of humans.
Do you like marmalade: Hell yes!

And there's our Watson.

I mean, uh, nothing. Nope. Nothing to see here.

[Mexican Liberation]

Name:Joseph Henry Piles II
Age:26
Species: British (Don't you mean nationality?)
Appearance:
(Image)
Position within the Company:Swordsmen
Reasons for joining the Army: Drafted,he was planning on going voluntarily,but before he could even leave his front door to serve his country,the officials came knocking.That's when he realized that he's not really army material.
Biography:Joseph was never the sociable or popular type in school.He spent most of his time either by the teacher's side or on his own writing poems and short stories.He had a dream of going to a university and study to become a writer,but his dream was shattered when he was kicked out of his university after being framed for a horrible prank he did not commit involving the dean,marmalade,tomato soup,and a classic Halloween tall tale.The end result?Let's just say 40 students were kicked out,Piles one of them,10 arrested,5 professors laid off,and 2 heart attacks from weary souls.The prank itself was not as serious,but the response from some of the students caused chain reactions,causing them the whole school to riot for fear that the "Demon" will get them.Though he was kicked out,this did not stop Joseph from attempting his life goal of becoming a writer.He lived in his parent's house for a couple years before finally getting his own place.During his time alone,he had written several short stories and published them in local newspapers and magazines,living off the royalties he got.Most of his work was based loosely on Edgar Allen Poe and other gothic and dark authors.When the war had struck,he had felt more then happy to serve his king,but as he was right about to visit his local recruiter,there was a knock on his door.He answered to the discovery that he had been drafted.At first,he felt thrilled and excited,but now,after his deployment,he realizes that he is not at all army material,and must do whatever it takes to get home,whether it be killing a German,loosing an arm,or walking 1,000 kilometers.Who knows,he may even write about his experiences once he gets home,or if he gets home.
RP Example:An FT RP.Currently playing as the UCIN,an intergalactic civilization composing mainly of humans.
Do you like marmalade: Hell yes!

And there's our Watson.

I mean, uh, nothing. Nope. Nothing to see here.

Hmmm...



Wait for it...

[Nude East Ireland]

Species: British (Don't you mean nationality?)

[/missingthejoke]

Nevertheless, accepted.

Name: Casi Delasy
Age: 26
Species: British, London variant
Appearance: 6'4" tall, brown hair, blue eyes. Fairly muscular.
Position within the Company: Artilleryman
Reasons for joining the Army: Drafted
Biography: Not much to tell. Born into a middleclass family in West London. Enjoyed the boring life of a student at the local school and was planning to go to University. Took a job in his father's greengrocer's to earn the money to do so. Drafted when the war came.
RP Example: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=194948
Do you like marmalade: I freakin' love it.

Yawn, there is no detail in this character's backstory at all.

[Lambrinisia]

Ok, give me a chance to edit. I'll think of something to put in there.

[Len Hyet]

Name: Benjamin Silva
Age: 28
Species: British
Appearance:

(Image)

Position within the Company: Machinegunner (not on list I know. But please?
Reasons for joining the Army: French Biddies
Biography: Silva has lived an unimpressive life. He is the son of a coal miner, and grew up in the village around the mine. His father died of the black death when Silva was sixteen, just old enough to begin work in the mines. There he stayed for two years before joining the war. However, due to both his miner's physique and dashing good looks, Silva was known to have slept with half the girls in the village. This he signed up for two reasons. First, French chicks. Second, to avoid having to marry anyone he slept with in the village who's father may or may not be very possessive of his daughter's virginity. During training he showed an aptitude for the Machinegun, and so a machine gunner he became.
RP Example: Don't you know me?
Do you like marmalade: I prefer butter

[Lambrinisia]

Name: Johnathon Delasy
Age: 23
Species: British, London variant
Appearance: 6'4" tall, brown hair, blue eyes. Fairly muscular.
Position within the Company: Artilleryman
Reasons for joining the Army: Drafted
Biography: John was born into a middle-class family in West London. He enjoyed the boring life of a student at the local school and was planning to go to University and study for a Chemistry degree. John had an aptitude for the Sciences and believed that he could make a difference within this world. He was betrothed to a beautiful young lady called Francesca, who was the heiress to her father's butcher shop chain. John was drafted when the war came, a few months before he was set to marry. The ceremony was rushed through and a week before he was due to leave, he was married. John is desperate to return home to his faithful wife where he may begin life anew. On his last visit home, he and Francesca conceived a child. So far his wife is 4 months pregnant.

John was drafted into the military as an Infantryman but was soon transferred to the Artillery when he showed an aptitude for mathematics, in particular working out trajectories. He is now one of the lead gunners, always being able to work out where to shoot on unfamiliar terrain.
RP Example: viewtopic.php?f=31&t=194948
Do you like marmalade: I freakin' love it.

[Burkia]

Name: Wilfred Arthur Dent

Age: 18

Species: British (I filled it out already so you don't have to. You're welcome)

Appearance: (I'd prefer a real-life picture, or description)

Position within the Company: Infantrymen

Reasons for joining the Army: (If you were drafted, just say so)[/b] Dent was given a choice between joining the army or going to jail. Naturally, he chose jail; unfortunately, the judge didn't care and he was sent to the Army.

Biography:

When Wilfred found out that war had broken out, he panicked. His father had been an army officer, and Wilfred wanted to avoid the service at all costs. He packed his trunk that night and tore off to Ireland. He hid in the Irish countryside, eating marmalade and swooning Irish women. Life was good, until he swooned the Police Chief's wife; the Chief found out that he had escaped the draft, and ordered his capture. Brought back to Liverpool to stand trial, Wilfred was given a choice: Prison or the Army. Wilfred chose prison, naturally. Unfortunately, volunteers were slowing down and the judge did not care what Wilfred chose. He found himself on a train to basic training.

RP Example:
There's this one, or this one and even this one among many more.

Do you like marmalade: (Relevant) Of course. Who doesn't like marmalade?

[Nexeria]

So, is this like 1914 Britian's Bad Company? Well, I am a coinsurer of comedy, so another maybe, on a RP I might not get around to making an app on.