Elfen High 2: Skin to Bone, Steel to Rust

[Olthar]

"Cookies! Cookies! Big tasty cookies! I'm going to bake them lots for the bunnies and rats!" Sari-chan sang while skipping through the halls, "And then we'll all be friends! And we can give each other pens! And lots of trends with many, many bends!"

Throwing open the doors to the cafeteria, Sari-chan mindlessly skipped straight into the kitchen while still humming to herself and began pulling out all sorts of ingredients. After nearly a minute, she suddenly stopped, finally noticing that Laz was in the room.

"Oh, hi Lazzy-chan!" she exclaimed while running over and giving him a hug, "I didn't see you there! Do you wanna help me make cookies for the bunnies and rats? Then you can join us in our friendship party! It'll be so fun!"

[Esternial]

Elisabeth had been wandering the halls of the school, and found it surprisingly...abandoned. Little to no people were still present, making her wonder where everyone had gone to and if she should be there as well. Only when she heard some sounds from the cafeteria did she have some hope, making her heart bounce faster than before. Putting her hand in her pocket, she reached out the deck and proceeded further down the hall, pushing open the cafeteria doors and stumbling across Laz, facing a vandalized wall.

"Not what I had expected." Elizabeth said to herself, wondering if she could still pull back her registration and go do something that would make her time in this realm worth living. Her friends back in the ethereal realm were probably looking at her right now, as if they were watching a television show. She had done it many times before, and especially because she knew how it looked from the other side did Liz feel slightly uncomfortable, knowing that they were observing her every move.

When Sari entered, the entire mood shifted to an awkward silent to an even more awkward upbeat. Having seen two of the people in this school, Elisabeth was slowly losing hope that she'd find anyone remotely and genuinely human; of course, the special cases shouldn't be ignored either, so she decided to view the positive twist to this predicament. Since Sari hadn't noticed her - mostly because Liz did her best not to be noticed - Elisabeth decided it would be best to introduce herself. They had met before, but Liz never really got a good chance to introduce herself.

"Hello, I'm Elisabeth. I've been..." She said, glancing over at Laz before returning her attention to Sari, "...transferred here. Where is everyone, is something going on?"

[Olthar]

Spinning around, Sari-chan noticed that there was someone else in the kitchen. Though she had seen this girl before, she didn't remember her.

"Oh, hello!" she said, waving, "My name is Sarina, but you can call me Sari-chan! Everyone does!"

The catgirl then continued pulling out ingredients before answering Elisabeth's question.

"Everyone is gone. See, these evil robots attacked the school yesterday, and they kidnapped Queeny-Weeny Cuddly-Wuddly along with some students. So now Crowley-sensei is going to war with Hell. Then most of the students left because they don't want to go to war with Hell. So now there's only a handful of us left. But isn't exciting!? I've never seen the school so empty before! It's kinda fun!"

Having taken out everything she needed, Sari-chan pulled out a giant bowl and began mixing the ingredients together, pouring in a bag of flour, eggs that clearly weren't from any chicken (shells and all), carrots, soy sauce, sugar, bleach, bits of copper wire stripped from the holes in the wall that Laz had made, honey, some moldy dishes that no one had cleaned up, brown sugar, a few chickens that had yet to be defeathered and gutted, and about two dozen different spices. Humming to herself, she pulled a large eggbeater out of her Hammerspace and began mixing everything up.

[Ameriganastan]

Laz was doing his best to ignore Sari and Liz, and focus on his little sparring session with the wall, but the things he saw Sari putting into that bowl almost made his stomach turn.

"STOP! For cripes sake kid, where did you learn to make cookies? You're supposed to make them edible, not poisonous. For the love of Lucifer, you're putting copper wire and bleach in there...you need some help. And lucky for you, I'm here. The Great and Mighty Lazrian shall demonstrate the proper way to prepare cookies that won't give people stomach ulcers. First off..."

He grabbed the bowl full of yuck, and tossed it out the nearest window.

"That needs to go. Now then, a few pointers."

He grabbed the bag of flour, and dumped it in the bowl, then wondered to the back, rummaging inside the fridge, and setting a carton of regular eggs on the counter.

"Eggs. You don't toss the damn shells in there. You crack them open, and drop the insides in there. You throw the shells away. Again, insides go in bowl, shells go in trash. Try it."

[Olthar]

Faster than the eye can catch, Sari-chan launched herself out of the window and caught her bowl before carrying it back inside. Setting it on the counter, she stomped over to Laz, furious.

"Don't you DARE do that again! And do NOT insult my cooking! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?" she screamed at him, staring daggers straight into his eyes.

Grumbling, Sari-chan returned to her bowl, glaring at Laz as she continued mixing it.

[Esternial]

"A war?" Elisabeth repeated, muffling a cheer; somewhat glad that she would be able to experience a war. It would surely be something to remember, although that she hoped. Considering she had enlisted, Liz figured she might just as well get settled in. Leaving without saying another word, she walked to the dorm rooms and found a vacant one, grabbing a card out of her deck that featured a naked woman, with a cloth covering her loins while she held two strange sticks and laurel leaves were arranged in an elliptical crest around the woman. As soon as she powered the card, the area inside the crest vanished and formed a portal. Several brief moment she shook the card until some luggage fell out of it. How it fit through the portal was a mystery, but it came through nonetheless. Her luggage now accounted for, she closed the portal and returned the card to her deck.

"That should do it." She said happily, adding a few more cards to her deck that she got from her luggage before leaving the room and returning to the cafeteria. When she got there, she saw that Laz and Sari had a little quarrel.

"Umm...everything okey?"

[Ameriganastan]

Faster than the eye can catch, Sari-chan launched herself out of the window and caught her bowl before carrying it back inside. Setting it on the counter, she stomped over to Laz, furious.

"Don't you DARE do that again! And do NOT insult my cooking! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?" she screamed at him, staring daggers straight into his eyes.

Grumbling, Sari-chan returned to her bowl, glaring at Laz as she continued mixing it.

"Your 'cooking' wouldn't be worthy of feeding the Rectum Splitters down in the pit. I swear, I haven't seen such a loathsome excuse for cooking since the siege of Kurshik Bay, when my troop got caught in a cave in, and we had to eat the smallest guy in the unit...you know what? Let's make a contest out of this. I shall prepare my own cookies, and feed them to your little rodents. When they love mine, and wretch yours up like they just got kicked in the stomach, it will finally prove that you can't cook."

He nodded to himself, and set to making his own cookies.

"Hope you like losing."

[Olthar]

Sari-chan's face contorted into one of pure rage at Laz's continued comments about her cooking. Finally snapping, she turned, walked over to him, picked up his bowl, smashed it onto the ground, and then delivered a punch straight to his face.

"YOU DO NOT INSULT MY COOKING! NO ONE INSULTS MY COOKING! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Pulling out her hammer, Sari-chan attacked Laz with unbelievable ferocity.

[Esternial]

Having been ignored up 'till now, Elisabeth had remained silent, but when Sari attacked Laz, she felt like she had to intervene. Pulling the Tower card from her deck, she jumped in front of Laz and lifted it up, activating the card and erecting a force field to block any attacks.

"Don't fight over some stupid cookies!" She shouted, somewhat afraid of the mad woman.

[AETEN II]

"Yes, I believe now was the time when you would quickly go over the schematics of a firearm with me mortal? Once I have proper knowledge of the weapon, I should be able to modify it to preform better. Unless you have a weapon that is effective enough to need no modifications of my own- such as one of those 'rifle' things. And can be easily reloaded, I don't want to put individual 'bulls' or whatever they're called into the chamber or have to use levers. Range would be nice as well. If they're within striking distance, I might as well simply use my sword." Malal noted to James as he 'sat' in the nearest seat, which was on the verge of being crushed by his weight. The plastic chair was obviously buckling and had cracked in a few areas, a large one practically bisected a leg.

[Ameriganastan]

Having been ignored up 'till now, Elisabeth had remained silent, but when Sari attacked Laz, she felt like she had to intervene. Pulling the Tower card from her deck, she jumped in front of Laz and lifted it up, activating the card and erecting a force field to block any attacks.

"Don't fight over some stupid cookies!" She shouted, somewhat afraid of the mad woman.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Laz actually hugged Elisabeth for bring that force-field up.

"I don't wanna get hit with that damn hammer again...I mean, ha! You should count yourself lucky, kitty cat! If not for this humans intervention, I'd have turned you into violin strings!"

[Olthar]

Scowling at Laz, Sari-chan put her hammer away and returned to her bowl. Hoping to calm herself down, she pulled an iPod out of her Hammerspace and put the headphones on. Flipping through her playlist for a while, she eventually decided to just play it all on shuffle. Of course, the entire thing was filled only with music taken from a host of different animes. As it started playing, she closed her eyes and hummed along, while mixing the ingredients in her bowl. After taking a taste of it, she decided to throw in a block of swiss cheese and continue mixing, smiling as she thought about the bunnies and rats.

[Seshephe]

Frida left Nyarlas office feeling allot better than she had before. It had been nice just to get those things off her chest. Humming a happy tune she headed for her dorm room. She could hardly believe that she had just meet a God! But then she remembered the announcement on the intercom earlier. She stopped to think about it.
She didn't really know much about fighting. The only thing she really knew anything about was fencing and she had no idea how useful that would be against a demon. She wasn't particularly strong herself and although her illusions and teleportation might be able to keep her safe she wanted to be able to do more than just "stay safe".
'Perhaps having a gun as backup wouldn't be such a bad idea after all' she contemplated.
Without further ado, she turned around and started walking towards the training room with an air of determination.
As she was entering the room she run into Laz, who was heading away from there quite rapidly, looking a little embarrassed.
She was about to say hi, but he didn't even seem to notice her so instead she walked into the training room.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

James was pacing, waiting for people, when Malal asked his question. "Don't worry, Mal, there are a lot of guns in the world. I'll find you something suitable for you." He answered. "Most modern firearms can easily be modified, and I'll be going over every detail about firearms and their use before anyone here even touches one."

He smiled when Frida answered. "Welcome. Are you here for the firearms training, Miss...?" He left the question open so she could provide her name.

[Ende]

One dwarf shrugged. "Generally? Yes. What have you got for us?"
-------------------------------------------------
Randan nodded, looking impressed. "Good. That's quite well done. In fact, I would prefer you help teach us those skills as you have taught the rabbits. In the meantime, we will teach you some of ours. Deal?"

"Well..." Jade murmured. "We are looking for Mjolnir, of course, but I am also in the market for the best sword you have." She laughed quietly, and then shrugged. "And what do I have? Sadly, nothing material. But if you want money, he has tons..." she said, looking pointedly at Crowley.

Ivy scowled at Crowley.

"There is no honest bargaining with thieves. Why did you offer them this? I suppose we shall follow through on this pointless enterprise, though. You are in command."

She turned to the dwarves.

"May I request that you propose an opening price?"

[The Inritus Extraho]

"Well..." Jade murmured. "We are looking for Mjolnir, of course, but I am also in the market for the best sword you have." She laughed quietly, and then shrugged. "And what do I have? Sadly, nothing material. But if you want money, he has tons..." she said, looking pointedly at Crowley.

Ivy scowled at Crowley.

"There is no honest bargaining with thieves. Why did you offer them this? I suppose we shall follow through on this pointless enterprise, though. You are in command."

She turned to the dwarves.

"May I request that you propose an opening price?"

Jade leapt in front of Ivy, and then clapped a hand over the girl's mouth. "Quiet, Ivy." she said, her voice cold. "The gnome is doing wonderfully, and dwarves aren't thieves." Jade had two reasons - first, this appeared that it would work, second, she wanted a sword.... Well, okay, fine, there was a third reason. Apparently it was going to hurt the gnome a lot, which was good enough for her. Not quite as good as watching one of the dwarves punt the gnome over a mountain, but close enough.

[The Nuclear Fist]

The Hound of Azathoth dashed madly, his mind somehow picking up on Nyarlathotep's presence in some location. The Eldritch bloodhound moved as a blur, weaving in and out of traffic through the streets of London, clawing through anything that found itself to be in his way, whether it be a car, a building, or even a person. Especially a person. It was a bizarre sight for those with magical abilities, and down right scary to those without. Either way, all that could be seen is a near invisible blur of claws and a sudden powerful gust of wind, followed by a trail of what was best described as 'carnage'. With every graceful stride, the crack of his form breaking the sound barrier punished the ears of any mortal who was unfortunate enough to be within a kilometre of his path. As he came closer and closer to where he detected Nyarlathotep's presence, he felt his rage and power only grow stronger, the hunger in his heart gnawing at him like a pack of starving dogs.

Finally, he gazed upon his target's location. It was. . . a school? That was odd. But then again, Nyarla was an odd being. That much was obvious. If she wasn't odd, he wouldn't be there to destroy her. He stood still for a moment, face contorted into a mask of calm rage. Elfen High. He read the words in his mind over and over, trying to comprehend what Nyarla was even doing here. The Hound dashed to the side of the building, placing his palms upon the wall and focusing. Unfortunately, he was unable to pinpoint his target's exact location. That meant he would need to sniff around, go on the hunt. Which was fine for him. After all, he was the Hound of Azathoth. Wanting to go in with a degree of subtlety and poise, the Hound surged a fraction of his power into the wall, obliterating it and sending sheets of dust, grime, brick, mortar, and general debris everywhere. In a cloud of dust and resulting chaos, he dashed in, spinning his head around to take inventory of the situation. From what he could tell, he was in some sort of women's restroom. I'll need to find someone. He thought, just as he spotted a mousy, boyish girl with scars across her face who seemed absolutely confused and terrified by his sudden appearance.

Moving faster than her eyes could tract, the Hound gripped her by her collar, his hand and forearm morphing into a picture perfect copy of a bird's foot. Scaly fingers and long as her forearm, tipped with black talons gripped her collar, a thump pressing into the back of her neck. The Hound lifted her into the air as if she was weightless, his cold, black eyes staring into hers with fiery intensity. "Where is the Outer God, Nyarlathotep?" He screamed, spittle flying into her face. For good measure, and as a way of calming her, the Hound throttled her like a rag doll. This was obviously much too much for the young girl, who yelped. The scent of urine and the pitter patter of a stream of liquid hitting the floor filled the air as she fainted, her mind overwhelmed. The Hound snarled, tossing her back into the stall he found her in. He composed himself, albeit not enough for his bizarre, birdlike, talon-hand to return to its normal self. Ever the blur, the Hound burst through the other restroom wall, into the corridor. He could just as easily have went through the door, but that wouldn't have inspired quite as much as bringing down an entire wall. Dusting himself off, he looked over the corridor, a snakelike tongue tasted the air as he tried to locate Nyarla.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

James was about to start his class, not waiting for anyone else to arrive, when he heard the breaking of walls and Maria's screaming. Immediately he bolted out the door and dashed to the girl's bathroom, unfortunately forgetting to reload his revolver. As he neared the restrooms, he spotted a man clad in black in front of a broken wall. "YOU!" He yelled at the intruder, coming to a stop. "Who the fuck are you, and why are you here?"

[The Nuclear Fist]

James was about to start his class, not waiting for anyone else to arrive, when he heard the breaking of walls and Maria's screaming. Immediately he bolted out the door and dashed to the girl's bathroom, unfortunately forgetting to reload his revolver. As he neared the restrooms, he spotted a man clad in black in front of a broken wall. "YOU!" He yelled at the intruder, coming to a stop. "Who the fuck are you, and why are you here?"

The Hound of Azathoth turned to face this newcomer. He was a human youth, clearly without magical prowess. The youth's words were harsh and filled with anger and hatred in a clear attempt to intimidate the Hound. Smirking, an orb of lightning forming in his palm. The ball of lightning crackled, enveloping his whole hand and bathing the corridor in light. Which was good, considering the energy caused most of the corridor light bulbs to burst rather ominously. Perhaps he can be of some service? He thought, raising and eyebrow. In an instant, the Hound closed the distance between himself and James, until they were no more than two metres apart from each other. The Hound's unblinking, black eyes stared directly into James's, as if he was staring directly into James's soul itself.

"I do not answer the questions of lesser creatures." The Hound said, his voice a stoic monotone. "You will tell me where Nyarlathotep is or face the consequences. It is your decision." He explained, a tinge of business in his voice.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

James was about to start his class, not waiting for anyone else to arrive, when he heard the breaking of walls and Maria's screaming. Immediately he bolted out the door and dashed to the girl's bathroom, unfortunately forgetting to reload his revolver. As he neared the restrooms, he spotted a man clad in black in front of a broken wall. "YOU!" He yelled at the intruder, coming to a stop. "Who the fuck are you, and why are you here?"

The Hound of Azathoth turned to face this newcomer. He was a human youth, clearly without magical prowess. The youth's words were harsh and filled with anger and hatred in a clear attempt to intimidate the Hound. Smirking, an orb of lightning forming in his palm. The ball of lightning crackled, enveloping his whole hand and bathing the corridor in light. Which was good, considering the energy caused most of the corridor light bulbs to burst rather ominously. Perhaps he can be of some service? He thought, raising and eyebrow. In an instant, the Hound closed the distance between himself and James, until they were no more than two metres apart from each other. The Hound's unblinking, black eyes stared directly into James's, as if he was staring directly into James's soul itself.

"I do not answer the questions of lesser creatures." The Hound said, his voice a stoic monotone. "You will tell me where Nyarlathotep is or face the consequences. It is your decision." He explained, a tinge of business in his voice.

James eyed the lighting warily, especially after the intruder mentioned Nyarla. "What is your business with the Counselor?" He asked, putting on an air of calmness, trying to hide the fact he was already analyzing, looking for a way to take this guy down. He was tough and clearly had control of some form of magic, signaling that his age was fake. The fact he knew and was looking for Nyarla painted a very bleak picture indeed, and James silently cursed himself for not loading his revolver, and allowing this intruder to get so close. Clearly, this being was a threat.

Without warning, James shifted and delivered a full-power right hook to the intruder's face. "You will leave this school or suffer the consequences." He commanded, although doubted it would mean much. He recovered himself and formed a short distance, preparing for any counter-attack.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Ellywick had the wind knocked out of her when the dwarf tackled her, but she did care to notice that he held her gently, albeit very firmly, and she appreciated it. The dwarfs stood only about a head taller than her, but they were much more tickly set. Each one was a barrel-chested, wizard-bearded mini-hulk. But really, they were just window dressing. What held Ellywick's attention was the contents of the room. It was like that one part in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where the pedophile slavedriver led the children into the room where everything was made of candy, except hopefully more than one of Ellywick's group would make it out of here alive.

While Jade sstarted to bargain, Ellywick took careful stock of the room. Aside from the hammer, there were a lot of interesting things here. I'm gonna go fot it. Time to clamber up onto Santa's lap, grab onto his beard and refuse to let go.
"Jade," she said "Before you start haggling, do you mind if I say something?"
Without waiting for permission, she cleared her throat and addressed the bearded assemly. "Please, friendly and understanding and very generous dwarfs, I want that mini cold fusion unit over there. And one of the nano-tanks too, and the phaseform integration engine, the blue one, and at least three of those cone-shaped things that make the pleasant humming sound. And I want the DNA fabrication array, the organo-metalloid synth-brain, the anti-grav boots, the robot monkey, and all of the government secrets you have filed away in those computers. Except I already opened and decrypted them, so thanks. There's no way you sell most of this stuff on the open market, so I figure you fund most of your projects by selling information. But information is kinda what I do, and I've always believed it should be free. I'm very generous, you know. And now I've accesse your buyers list. And in case you think I'm not walking out of here, the guy back there is Aleister Crowley."

She twisted her head upwards and flashed the astonished dwarf who still held her her widest smile. "I can make myself forget stuff. I can do that. You've got a full brain scanner over there, so you can make sure I do it properly. It's really hard, though. And it hurts. So for going to all this trouble to help you out, maybe instead of all the stuff I really want, I could take the giant 100% uru hammer over there that isn't even yours to begin with, so you haven't really lost anything. Oh, and a nice sword for Jade. So I guess you will lose something. Sorry."

There was a long pause.

Crowley stared at Ellywick with a an expression of impressed laughter. "Well." he turned to the dwarfs. "You have it. You can have all your information back now in exchange for this hammer. Or we can walk out with a lot more corpses and a lot of information." He said, lighting a cigar. "Now, what do you have for m-"

"Sir, this is Richard. The Hound of Azathoth is in the school-" Richard's voice came over a walkie-talkie.

"What? What the hell does it want?" he asked with surprise.

"Nylara, from what I can tell. I'm in your office using the cameras. It's talking with the Callahan boy. Speaking of which, Callahan seems to be turning a new leaf-"

"I know the Hound. Just tell him where Nylara is. He, she, it, whatever, will probably just do it's business and leave. With luck, he'll kill Callahan too."

"Very well, sir." The conversation broke off there.

Crowley turned back to the worried dwarfs. "Now, let's think about this again. Do we have a deal?" he asked cheerfully.

One dwarf spoke. "How do we know you have really lost your memories? We are not fools. If this gnome has already taken the information that quickly, we can't trust that she'll lose her memories."

Crowley continued to smile. "But you can't trust us, then you can't continue life either. That'll put a dent in your profits, won't you think?"

The dwarfs continued to chatter amongst themselves in Dwarfish. For those fluent for whatever reason, they'd hear "Fucking hell, our money."
"I don't like this. This is just blackmail, plain and simple."
"I wonder if the ratburger bar will be open..."

"Forget the food! Focus on this!"

"Fine...just give the people what they want. That's Crowley, let's not fuck with him. And I don't like those other guys either. That girl is obviously the descendent of Ivy, that one knows how to use a sword, there's something fishy about that boy and I really bloody hate that gnome."

"Looks like we're stuck."

They came out of their circle. "Fine." one spat. "Take the bloody hammer. But nothing more." A glare at Jade. "And now," he picked up Ellywick again, leading her to the brain scanner. "Delete."

The dwarf scanned through her memories, deleting everything about the dwarf base/Asgard adventure. Out of some spite, he also removed the past month at Elfen High from her memory. In her brain, she now felt like she had just escaped from SAM's prison and was now suddenly in a dwarf mine. So memories of Elfen High, EVE, Crowley...gone.

"There. Removed the memories of the base and then some." the dwarf said with some pettiness. "Now take your hammer and go."

[The Nuclear Fist]

James eyed the lighting warily, especially after the intruder mentioned Nyarla. "What is your business with the Counselor?" He asked, putting on an air of calmness, trying to hide the fact he was already analyzing, looking for a way to take this guy down. He was tough and clearly had control of some form of magic, signaling that his age was fake. The fact he knew and was looking for Nyarla painted a very bleak picture indeed, and James silently cursed himself for not loading his revolver, and allowing this intruder to get so close. Clearly, this being was a threat.

Without warning, James shifted and delivered a full-power right hook to the intruder's face. "You will leave this school or suffer the consequences." He commanded, although doubted it would mean much. He recovered himself and formed a short distance, preparing for any counter-attack.

The right hook struck the Hound of Azathoth directly on the nose, flattening it with an audible crack. Cheekbones broke and the flesh of the face itself ruptured from the sheer power of a punch with nearly twenty tons of force behind it. Indeed, if he had been a mortal man, the blow would have killed him. But unfortunately for James, the Hound was not a mortal man. To be technical, he was not a man at all, but was merely inhabiting the body of man as a matter of circumstance. When James pulled his fist away and opened up a bit of distance, the fist-shaped imprint in the Hound's devastated face was quite obviously a bad wound indeed. Or, at least, it appeared that way until it began to heal. The healing process was remarkably similar to a stress toy that had been squeezed, slowly regaining its proper shape and form. His nose corrected itself with several pops and cracks, eyes realigned and boned fused back together and popped back in place. Cuts closed and disappeared and bruises faded, all in the matter of ten or so seconds.

"My business with the counselor is not your concern." Said the Hound, as if nothing had happened at all. He now sounded mildly annoyed, however, and raised his palm above his head. The ball of lightning swelled and only grew brighter, destroying bits of the walls and ceiling upon touching them. "You have chosen not to cooperate and must now be punished." He explained, whipping his hand forward and sending a boulder-sized all of lightning down the corridor, aimed directly at James. The thing moved at breakneck speeds, and destroyed parts of the walls as it moved, its size swollen nearly to the size of the corridor itself.

[AETEN II]

Malal sighed- from the screams that he heard and the fact that James had run off, only one thing could be concluded. Laz was raping somebody. It was easy to figure out and Malal doubted that the mortal could handle himself with the nigh-invincible demon. He sighed again and hunched down in the nearly broken chair, supporting his head with his right hand which was folded around his chin. What to do? Did he really want to get involved in what was likely a mess that involved that bastard, stuck-up, retarded, asshole demon? But then again, James was an idiot who had caused that human-cat-person-thing to have an emotional breakdown. Was he qualified to check Laz?

Definitely not, Malal's attention was certainly demanded by whatever was going on. The demigod stood up from his hilariously small seat (which collapsed upon being released of its burden) and began to grumble as he left the scene of the 'firing range' and headed for the noises. Upon turning two corners and walking the distance between them Malal saw something that caused him to whip around the corner he had just turned. If that was what rumors of the Outer Gods spoke of and what Nyarla had described once, he would either be checking into an asylum for deities or the morgue. Malal leaned as far as he could across the corner and attempted to listen into the conversation between James and the Shard- unsurprisingly, James was a fool. Malal doubted that even if the boy understood what that creature was, he'd still likely threaten it. However, the creature then asked for the location of Nyarla and that made Malal's nonexistent blood boil. He understood that she had been effectively exiled, but maybe if a representative of Asgard would cause the being to back off?
So, with cocky pride and a Nordic sense of duty, Malal rounded the corner and tapped the creature's left shoulder with his bony right index finger.
"I believe you were asking for the location of Nyarlathotep? I happen to know where she is."

[The Inritus Extraho]

Jade frowned. The world seemed dead-set on not letting her have a new sword. Maybe later. She would bitch and whine at Crowley, for sure. He could - hell, any of them could - just take any and everything that they wanted. The dwarves wouldn't be able to fight back, she was confident (with a p-value of less than 0.05) that Crowley could kill them all on his own. So yeah, she was annoyed with Crowley for not just pointing out they would take whatever they wanted. Oh well. At least they'd be going back to Asgard to give the hammer back, and maybe she could get a sword there. Maybe Crowley would point out they should get a reward? If not, she probably would. Maybe. Thor seemed pretty petty and possessive.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

James instinctively jumped backwards in an attempt to avoid the lightning ball. Of course, that wasn't going to work. If anyone managed to get a look at his face, they would see him rolling his eyes. "Oh Christ, not again..." He moaned, right before the ball of lightning slammed into his chest, sending him flying backwards down the hallway, through the cafeteria, past the counselor's offices, past Crowley's office, and out the front doors, before bouncing off a tree and into the garage, going head-first through the back window of Yuzuki's Javelin before finally being stopped by the seats and dashboard, all the while screaming "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU."