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Elfen High 2: Skin to Bone, Steel to Rust

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Nationstatelandsville
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Posts: 70969
Founded: Apr 27, 2011
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Postby Nationstatelandsville » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:02 pm

Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Minh sighed. "Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who fucked up in romance. Then again, I have Callahan as a walking reminder of that." He gave a brief chuckle. "Now let's see what's going on down there." He kept his sword out and ready, looking around. "Now, let's hear some backstory. What the fuck is going on here? Lewis, we came here to get aid from the bears. If I die here because of our supposed allies, I'll kill you."

Minh found no reply.

What he found instead was a massive room, one much too big to be held within the forest, perhaps even the province. The walls of the room were completely black, made of a metal that devoured light and shit out fear. They curved upwards, forming a dome, the center of which a warm orange light filtered down from. I start with the walls because they are the easiest part to describe.

Minh and Damien stood at the end of a long ramp, one that gently sloped upwards towards a circle of ebony (but we'll get to that soon). All along the ramp were stands, not unlike those at a football game, but pointed in the wrong direction. They were all situated towards said circle, which was rather big itself. It caved int itself so that it resembled the exterior going downwards. 100 wooden desks, similar to those used in the U.S. Congress, rested on steps leading into the heart of this structure in five roves of twenty. This was done so that the Councilmen, who were meant to sit in said desks, could see each other while debating. In the center of the room was a glass case containing a weathered old document, scorched and stained, one older than any human text - the Constitution of the Bears. Minh and Damien could see none of this, but the acoustics in the room had been manipulated through mystical means so that they heard the slightest sound, from each other's breathing to a scurrying rat, like an explosion in a Michael Bay film.

The two progressed down a second flight of stairs next to the first, one which carried them into their destination. There, they found a much more tame room. It was all made up in shiny, well-polished marble, so that it felt like they were in a J.J. Abrams film. It was also shaped like a dome and lit with the same light, though it was much smaller. The walls were lined with a massive wooden desk, identical to a judge's desk in every fucking movie ever, minus the stand for the witness, and wrapped around the walls. Within this stand, thirteen bears were meant to sit, with a large chair (emblazoned with a carving of a bear's paw) in the center revealing that to be the Bear-King's seat. Before this set-up was a small wooden chair, clearly meant for the defendant.

Behind this chair was a writhing mess of eleven bears struggling with Lewis, who was shouting loudly and relentlessly kicking their asses (badly), circled by a screaming woman of impossible-to-determine race, who was beating them all, indiscriminately, with a baseball bat.

"MEGAN, YOU'RE HITTING ME, TOO!" Lewis screamed.

"I know!" she replied.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!" one of the bears cried tearfully in a thick Eastern European accent.

This was probably when Minh and Damien noticed a giggling child, a little girl who looked much closer to Lewis than her mother, sitting on top of the stand and watching intently.
Last edited by Nationstatelandsville on Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Then I was fertilized and grew wise;
From a word to a word I was led to a word,
From a work to a work I was led to a work."
- Odin, Hávamál 138-141, the Poetic Edda, as translated by Dan McCoy.

I enjoy meta-humor and self-deprecation. Annoying, right?

Goodbye.

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Ende
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7475
Founded: Jan 23, 2012
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Postby Ende » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:06 pm

Ivy scowled and crossed her arms. It was slightly amusing, actually. She looked very similar to Demeter, from the facial expression to the green hair. Of course, Demeter was completely ignoring proper dress (a minor sin) and Ivy wasn't, but they did look rather similar.

Despite Demeter being her great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother, Ivy disliked her. They had only met once, when Ivy was a young girl. She was about twelve at the time...

<><><><><><><>


Ivy skipped down the stairs, whistling, and smiling at the world. Today was going to be a great day. The sunrise was lovely, the weather was great, and Dad was taking her camping. That was fantastic. She loved camping. As she headed towards the kitchen to make breakfast, her mother approached her in the hall.

"Are you ready for the trip?" she said, sounding somewhat amused.

She smiled at Ivy. To be honest, she looked a bit old to be wearing a tye-dyed shirt with a peace symbol on it and some rather stained jeans, seeing as that was so eighties, but, of course, she was wearing that. Ivy had never seen her without those. Actually, to be honest, Ivy had never seen her without a smile on her face, but, really, who wouldn't be happy? The world was great.

"Yeah, I'm really excited! I think it's going to be fun."

"Well, honey, I hope you have a good time. Your father is out in the yard, waiting. He has the truck all loaded up."

Ivy nodded, hugged her mom, and then headed out to the truck. Her father was waiting for her, sitting with his feet dangling off of the edge of the truck. He grinned at her, and adjusted his straw hat. He looked like her mother, frankly, but he was...slightly different. Her father had always had a way with plants, and, sometimes, he seemed...different. It was hard to place, but he was a bit odd at times.

Of course, that wasn't important. They were going camping. And, the best thing was, he said he would start to explain why her hair was turning green and why the plants acted weird around her, too. She had previously assumed it was "puberty" (she had heard about it a lot, but she wasn't quite sure what it was), but her father had just seemed amused by that.

Two hours later, Ivy stepped out of the car, with five times as many questions as before. As they started to set up the tent, her curiosity overwhelmed her. She let go of the tent peg she was holding, and then burst into a avalanche of questions.

"Wait, Dad, are we seriously related to Demeter? From greek mythology? That's silly, Dad. Those are a bunch of myths. What do you mean by a god, anyway? Are they just like a superpowerful human? Are they like Batman? Are they nice? Is that why the plants are all weird around you? Is that why my hair is turning green? Is that why the plants started attacking that one boy? Is this why Mom said I would start liking boys? Is this cool? Is this a good thing? Is this why you wear your straw hat all the time? When you say demigod, do you mean like Heracles? Who fought the minotaur? Is the minotaur real? Did you fight the minotaur?"

Ivy's father sighed. He was used to this, seeing as his wife was like this all the time, but it was always a little bit hard to keep track of.

"Yes, we're related to Demeter from greek mythology, no, they aren't myths, no, they aren't like Batman, and no, they aren't nice, yes, that's why the plants are weird around me, yes, that's why your hair is turning green and why the plants started attacking that boy, no, the deal with boys is an entirely different talk I'll have to give you one of these days, yes, it's cool, no, it's not nescessarily a good thing, no, that's not why I like my hat..."

He paused and gasped for air for a few moments.

"...yes, when I say demigod, I mean like Heracles. Also, Ivy, Heracles didn't fight the minotaur, and yes, minotaurs are real, and, no, I've been lucky enough never to meet one. Ivy...I'm gonna show ya' what I mean by a god. It's time that ya' meet yer great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother."

He pulled what appeared to be a small...Ivy couldn't really tell what it was...out of his pocket, muttered a few words in...Latin, maybe? She wasn't sure. And then, Demeter burst from the earth in an explosion of rocks and dirt, looking rather grouchy. She looked around for a few moments, and then sighed.

"Richard, I can't believe you summoned me for this. Look, I only offered you this service because I was drunk, and, frankly, if you hadn't made me swear an oath on it, I wouldn't be doing this. I do this every single damn generation, and I'm sick of it. "Oh, yes, I'm a Greek god, we're real, you're a demigod, whatever." This is annoying. That guy wasn't supposed to go off and start a whole entire line of you."

She looked at Ivy for a moment, seeming somewhat annoyed.

"So you're the new one. I'm a Greek god, we're real, you're a demigod, whatever."

Turning to Ivy's father, she sighed.

"I'll be leaving now."

And then she vanished.

<><><><><><>


Ivy shook her head, trying to ignore the memories. Looking back on her younger self made her feel sad. She couldn't figure out why, though. She was just a foolish, silly mortal back then. She had improved. She was much closer to perfection now than she was before. But for some reason, looking back always made her sad. Looking down at the ground for a moment, she sighed, and then looked back up.

"Greetings, grandmother." she said, sounding exactly like Demeter. After a moment, crossed her arms, and continued to frown.

"We are here to retrieve a sacred artifact for another god, grandmother. The dwarves that live on your land have committed a dishonorable theft, and we are here to make them account for their foul deeds. We have every right to be on this territory. Let us proceed on our way."
Last edited by Ende on Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Hetland 2
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Founded: Nov 30, 2011
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Postby Hetland 2 » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:16 pm

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:James very nearly faceplanted onto the floor from the force of Maria's "pat", and he definitely felt part of his spine bend inwards slightly before straightening. That was going to hurt like a bitch tomorrow. He managed to recover just in time for her to grab him. When she made her drunken request, he stood there silently for several seconds, holding back laughter. Finally, he spoke. "Uh... Listen..." He started, still holding back the urge to laugh in her face. "That... That is kind of impossible..."


Maria cocked her head to the side, this'd clearly not been how she'd imagined the response. It didn't include the words, "Awesome", "Bandicoot", or even "Nightkill the Emperor".She took a deep breath and in her best eloquent manner of speaking (which is pretty much nothing considering her condition) began to explain what the hell she was talking about. It also involved some absolutely absurd gesticulations which resulted in several NPCs being knocked out a basket ball hoop being trashed and several articles of random people's clothing getting holes in them.
"Nooo... no no no. Its really a... uhm... uh... control thingy for a giant* girder-pult on the North Pole*. The bazooka is also a super-duper-gateway*... thingy for the girders, opening up a portal* for a... a lil' bit, but only so the girders can go through! And the girders are super fast and made of metal."
Hick

*words that were especially gesticulated.
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The krang countered the wave with something. And continued to try and take over the decepticon seeker.
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Mair glows brightly and transforms in a human, wearing a white cloak, "leave us"
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Julius Ceasar was a normal 14 year old who played Elder Tale in Russia.
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Hardened Pyrokinetics
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Founded: May 31, 2011
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Postby Hardened Pyrokinetics » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:21 pm

Hetland 2 wrote:
Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:James very nearly faceplanted onto the floor from the force of Maria's "pat", and he definitely felt part of his spine bend inwards slightly before straightening. That was going to hurt like a bitch tomorrow. He managed to recover just in time for her to grab him. When she made her drunken request, he stood there silently for several seconds, holding back laughter. Finally, he spoke. "Uh... Listen..." He started, still holding back the urge to laugh in her face. "That... That is kind of impossible..."


Maria cocked her head to the side, this'd clearly not been how she'd imagined the response. It didn't include the words, "Awesome", "Bandicoot", or even "Nightkill the Emperor".She took a deep breath and in her best eloquent manner of speaking (which is pretty much nothing considering her condition) began to explain what the hell she was talking about. It also involved some absolutely absurd gesticulations which resulted in several NPCs being knocked out a basket ball hoop being trashed and several articles of random people's clothing getting holes in them.
"Nooo... no no no. Its really a... uhm... uh... control thingy for a giant* girder-pult on the North Pole*. The bazooka is also a super-duper-gateway*... thingy for the girders, opening up a portal* for a... a lil' bit, but only so the girders can go through! And the girders are super fast and made of metal."
Hick

*words that were especially gesticulated.

James couldn't hold back his amusement any longer, and he began laughing so hard he cried, while dodging Maria's gestures. He took several deep breaths, then responded. "Look... You're drunk, somehow, so I can understand why you're so... Hyperactive and imaginative. Unfortunately, your idea is an impossibility." He paused. "Well, not impossible, but it would take a lot of magic, time, and technology to create and maintain, and I'm not certain we can manage it." He smiled at Maria. "Tell you what, I'll talk to Crowley about it when he returns. You, however, need some sleep. You're drunk." He gently grabbed her by the wrist. "Tell me what number your dorm room is."
Ankh Mauta
Pope Joan wrote:I had a client who stole the magnetic flashing light from the top of a police car.

It was parked in front of his house because they were asking his parents about his theft of 100 pounds of copper wire from the high school.


Galloism wrote:I bet it takes a lot of weed to get stoned to death.


New Manvir wrote:Canada: We have flying bears.


greed and death wrote:It is a sad day when we criticize the President for honoring a solider who gave everything for his nation.


Olthar wrote:
Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:... He's twenty.

He's also a moron.

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Nightkill the Emperor
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Postby Nightkill the Emperor » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:25 pm

Daisuke winced as he was suddenly picked up and then put down again. "Yeah, Cuddly-Wuddly, need to make sure she's alright." he said, wincing a bit and rubbing his arm. Then he nodded, trying to encourage the catgirl. "Don't worry, you'll do fine. We have the most powerful wizards and smartest people here, and that Callahan guy-" Daisuke still didn't like James all too much- "Is getting us all guns. I don't see how these little "fairies" can stop us." He then went on a different tactic, hoping such a cliche thing would work. He saw it all the time in animes and Sari was ripped out of one. He had no idea which one, but one of them. "And nothing can defeat the power of our friendship if we all work together." Ouch. Saying that hurt his cynical soul.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Minh just stared at Megan and Rosalind. He then spoke to Lewis. "You need to make your letters more detailed. They didn't cover this." he looked around and then sat down next to a dazed and injured bear. He pulled out a cigar, placing it in his mouth. "Want one?" he offered to the bear who screamed in the Eastern European accent. "I think trying to fight us would really not be a good idea at the moment. That one man is enough of a handful." he said, gesturing to Lewis. "You do not want to fight a whole tribe of him. Think very carefully about your options right now. You can either be loyal to your species. Or you can be here during Lewis' family reunion. Take your pick." He did have a sword over the bear's neck in case he was stupid enough to pick the wrong one.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Demeter glanced at Ivy. "Oh yeah. You. You're number 47, right? Of those still living, I mean. I keep track of my descendants, Hades suggested we all keep tallies and Athena agreed, so fuck those two, they never have to worry about kids. And Hades took my favourite one." she seemed still annoyed by this. "Anyway, what did the dwarfs steal?"

"Thor's hammer." Crowley replied.

"Are they really that stupid? Excellent. Hopefully they all die." Politics are complicated. "Go ahead through. Try killing as many as possible." A rather crazed grin. "Blood. Brilliant fertilizer. In fact, I'll take you there." she said, clapping her hands like a schoolgirl. "I haven't had too much fun for a while now. Retirement isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know."
Hi! I'm Khan, your local misanthropic Indian.
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P2TM RP Discussion Thread
If you want a good rp, read this shit.
Tiami is cool.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".

Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.

Monfrox wrote:
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# went there....

It's Nightkill. He's been there so long he rents out rooms to other people at a flat rate, but demands cash up front.

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Olthar
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Postby Olthar » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:36 pm

Sari-chan perked up at Daisuke's comment and gave him another hug.

"Yes! You're completely right! With friendship, we can overcome any challenge! As long as we trust each other, nothing can defeat us! When Crowley-sensei gets back from Ass-Guard, I should ask him to implement weekly team building seminars! That way we can all strengthen our friendships with each other and face those meany demons with the power of love! Thank you for giving me such a great idea, Daisy-chan! You're really a great guy!"

She then leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Smiling, she continued.

"So, is that all you wanted? I need to get back to teaching the rabbits martial arts."
Last edited by Olthar on Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Ameriganastan
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Postby Ameriganastan » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:47 pm

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:James couldn't hold back his amusement any longer, and he began laughing so hard he cried, while dodging Maria's gestures. He took several deep breaths, then responded. "Look... You're drunk, somehow, so I can understand why you're so... Hyperactive and imaginative. Unfortunately, your idea is an impossibility." He paused. "Well, not impossible, but it would take a lot of magic, time, and technology to create and maintain, and I'm not certain we can manage it." He smiled at Maria. "Tell you what, I'll talk to Crowley about it when he returns. You, however, need some sleep. You're drunk." He gently grabbed her by the wrist. "Tell me what number your dorm room is."

"Slow down there, Romeo."

Laz strode into the room, looking equal parts bored out of his skull, and suspicious about something.

"Some moderately handsome young guy, taking a drunk girl back to her room? Uh-uh, I've seen enough Gossip Girl reruns to know where this is heading...yeah, I like Gossip Girl. Bite me. I'm a demon. Boo. Anyhow, seeing as drunky here is one of only two friend I have in this dump, I'll ensure she gets back to her room."
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Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
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Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Hardened Pyrokinetics
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Founded: May 31, 2011
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Postby Hardened Pyrokinetics » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:51 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:
Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:James couldn't hold back his amusement any longer, and he began laughing so hard he cried, while dodging Maria's gestures. He took several deep breaths, then responded. "Look... You're drunk, somehow, so I can understand why you're so... Hyperactive and imaginative. Unfortunately, your idea is an impossibility." He paused. "Well, not impossible, but it would take a lot of magic, time, and technology to create and maintain, and I'm not certain we can manage it." He smiled at Maria. "Tell you what, I'll talk to Crowley about it when he returns. You, however, need some sleep. You're drunk." He gently grabbed her by the wrist. "Tell me what number your dorm room is."

"Slow down there, Romeo."

Laz strode into the room, looking equal parts bored out of his skull, and suspicious about something.

"Some moderately handsome young guy, taking a drunk girl back to her room? Uh-uh, I've seen enough Gossip Girl reruns to know where this is heading...yeah, I like Gossip Girl. Bite me. I'm a demon. Boo. Anyhow, seeing as drunky here is one of only two friend I have in this dump, I'll ensure she gets back to her room."

James gave Lazrian a look of annoyance, but bit his tongue. Arguing would just make things more suspect. He let go of Maria and backed off. "By all means, Laz. Once you're done, you're welcome to join the class if you want. We won't be starting for another hour."
Ankh Mauta
Pope Joan wrote:I had a client who stole the magnetic flashing light from the top of a police car.

It was parked in front of his house because they were asking his parents about his theft of 100 pounds of copper wire from the high school.


Galloism wrote:I bet it takes a lot of weed to get stoned to death.


New Manvir wrote:Canada: We have flying bears.


greed and death wrote:It is a sad day when we criticize the President for honoring a solider who gave everything for his nation.


Olthar wrote:
Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:... He's twenty.

He's also a moron.

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Ameriganastan
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Founded: Jul 01, 2008
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Postby Ameriganastan » Sat Sep 08, 2012 11:01 pm

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:
Ameriganastan wrote:"Slow down there, Romeo."

Laz strode into the room, looking equal parts bored out of his skull, and suspicious about something.

"Some moderately handsome young guy, taking a drunk girl back to her room? Uh-uh, I've seen enough Gossip Girl reruns to know where this is heading...yeah, I like Gossip Girl. Bite me. I'm a demon. Boo. Anyhow, seeing as drunky here is one of only two friend I have in this dump, I'll ensure she gets back to her room."

James gave Lazrian a look of annoyance, but bit his tongue. Arguing would just make things more suspect. He let go of Maria and backed off. "By all means, Laz. Once you're done, you're welcome to join the class if you want. We won't be starting for another hour."

"Join this class? Feh. Firearms are for pussies. The Great and Mighty Lazrian destroys his opposition with his awesome fists of...awesome. And fire. Lots of fire. And sometimes my teeth. Then there was the time I beat that one guy to death with my schlong...wait...what was I talking about? Oh, right. Guns are for chumps. Come along, Lushy. Back to your domicile so you can sleep this off...or I could just knock you out. A floor is just as good as a bed."
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Hardened Pyrokinetics
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Founded: May 31, 2011
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Postby Hardened Pyrokinetics » Sat Sep 08, 2012 11:08 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:
Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:James gave Lazrian a look of annoyance, but bit his tongue. Arguing would just make things more suspect. He let go of Maria and backed off. "By all means, Laz. Once you're done, you're welcome to join the class if you want. We won't be starting for another hour."

"Join this class? Feh. Firearms are for pussies. The Great and Mighty Lazrian destroys his opposition with his awesome fists of...awesome. And fire. Lots of fire. And sometimes my teeth. Then there was the time I beat that one guy to death with my schlong...wait...what was I talking about? Oh, right. Guns are for chumps. Come along, Lushy. Back to your domicile so you can sleep this off...or I could just knock you out. A floor is just as good as a bed."

James looked down at the floor. When he looked back up, his eyes were wide open and he was grinning wickedly, his front right incizor taking on the appearance of a fang. He slowly walked up towards Lazrian. "Dear, dear Lazzy, how wrong you are..." He said slowly, in a chilling monotone. "I have felled many a demon greater than you with one... Swift... Bullet..." He got right up into the demon's face and cocked his head to the side, staring straight into his eyes. "No armour in the world is going to save you... From a Magnum between the eyes..."

There was a pause, and James suddenly turned and walked away, back into his new, somewhat-more-cheerful self. "Anyway, Maria, go with Lazrian and sleep, we can talk later. Everyone else, take your seats while we wait for more volunteers."
Ankh Mauta
Pope Joan wrote:I had a client who stole the magnetic flashing light from the top of a police car.

It was parked in front of his house because they were asking his parents about his theft of 100 pounds of copper wire from the high school.


Galloism wrote:I bet it takes a lot of weed to get stoned to death.


New Manvir wrote:Canada: We have flying bears.


greed and death wrote:It is a sad day when we criticize the President for honoring a solider who gave everything for his nation.


Olthar wrote:
Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:... He's twenty.

He's also a moron.

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Ameriganastan
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Founded: Jul 01, 2008
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Postby Ameriganastan » Sat Sep 08, 2012 11:18 pm

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:James looked down at the floor. When he looked back up, his eyes were wide open and he was grinning wickedly, his front right incizor taking on the appearance of a fang. He slowly walked up towards Lazrian. "Dear, dear Lazzy, how wrong you are..." He said slowly, in a chilling monotone. "I have felled many a demon greater than you with one... Swift... Bullet..." He got right up into the demon's face and cocked his head to the side, staring straight into his eyes. "No armour in the world is going to save you... From a Magnum between the eyes..."

There was a pause, and James suddenly turned and walked away, back into his new, somewhat-more-cheerful self. "Anyway, Maria, go with Lazrian and sleep, we can talk later. Everyone else, take your seats while we wait for more volunteers."

"Oh, Hell no. Sloshy McGee here can wait."

Laz basically shoved Maria aside, cracks already appearing in his disguise.

"If a weakling with a human weapon can fell a demon, I assure you they are nowhere as mighty as me. I've survived stuff that would make your little guns, and their wielders, piss themselves in fear...like an angry Sari. And other stuff."

He went full size, smashing his fist into the ground for no real reason.

"You talk big when I'm your size. How about when I'm bigger than you?"
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Esternial
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Posts: 54369
Founded: May 09, 2009
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Esternial » Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:42 am

Are you sure about this, Elisabeth? A voice lisped inside the girl's head as she approached the building in front of her. Liz promptly ignored it, since her persistent friend already knew her answer; it had been the same the first day she stepped into the light and was born as a human being. Living inside a body of flesh and blood suited her just fine, although having been reverse-exorcised did make her uncomfortable first. Feeling blood pulse through one's veins and inhaling air was an unique experience, but it got annoying after awhile; luckily she got used to it, like most humans did.

Elisabeth reached into her pocket, retrieving a deck of tarot cards. She took out one and flipped it around, staring at the picture. It featured a lion and cow with wings at the botton, as well as a stereotypical angel and a bird, all in a bright gold color. A blue sphinx sat on the circle in the middle, with a snake and a red devil-like creature on the sides of the wheel. Several marks covered the orange wheel, which helped identify the card as the tenth in her deck, since the figures didn't really help a lot. The wheel of fortune card was her favorite, mostly because it was completely random and had a change of turning out either way.

Infusing some of her energy into it, the card started to emit a faint glow until the wheel in the center lit up and opened a portal, spitting out a random object. An origami bird flew out and whizzed around Liz' head before settling on the grass. Elisabeth chuckled as she put the card back in her deck and returned the cards to her pocket, kneeling down to pick up the little origami creature. It was animated, but not really alive. Regardless, Liz regarded is as such.

The piece of paper in her hand, she walked to the front door of the school and pushed open the doors, ignoring everything that was going on and walking to the principal's office. She knocked and waited.

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Hardened Pyrokinetics
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Postby Hardened Pyrokinetics » Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:49 am

Ameriganastan wrote:
Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:James looked down at the floor. When he looked back up, his eyes were wide open and he was grinning wickedly, his front right incizor taking on the appearance of a fang. He slowly walked up towards Lazrian. "Dear, dear Lazzy, how wrong you are..." He said slowly, in a chilling monotone. "I have felled many a demon greater than you with one... Swift... Bullet..." He got right up into the demon's face and cocked his head to the side, staring straight into his eyes. "No armour in the world is going to save you... From a Magnum between the eyes..."

There was a pause, and James suddenly turned and walked away, back into his new, somewhat-more-cheerful self. "Anyway, Maria, go with Lazrian and sleep, we can talk later. Everyone else, take your seats while we wait for more volunteers."

"Oh, Hell no. Sloshy McGee here can wait."

Laz basically shoved Maria aside, cracks already appearing in his disguise.

"If a weakling with a human weapon can fell a demon, I assure you they are nowhere as mighty as me. I've survived stuff that would make your little guns, and their wielders, piss themselves in fear...like an angry Sari. And other stuff."

He went full size, smashing his fist into the ground for no real reason.

"You talk big when I'm your size. How about when I'm bigger than you?"

James stopped and stood dead-straight, not even looking back. "My point still stands, Lazrian. I've fought demons bigger and stronger than you, and with one. Simple. Shot. They were down. Just from here, I have six different ways of killing you, only one which involves my gun. Now, enough with your little tough-guy act. Get her to her room and leave me to my class, before you do something... Drastic."
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Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:... He's twenty.

He's also a moron.

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Nightkill the Emperor
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Postby Nightkill the Emperor » Sun Sep 09, 2012 10:56 am

Olthar wrote:Sari-chan perked up at Daisuke's comment and gave him another hug.

"Yes! You're completely right! With friendship, we can overcome any challenge! As long as we trust each other, nothing can defeat us! When Crowley-sensei gets back from Azgrad, I should ask him to implement weekly team building seminars! That way we can all strengthen our friendships with each other and face those meany demons with the power of love! Thank you for giving me such a great idea, Daisy-chan! You're really a great guy!"

She then leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Smiling, she continued.

"So, is that all you wanted? I need to get back to teaching the rabbits martial arts."

"Only here would that sentence make sense." the dazed boy deadpanned, rolling away so Olthar could do other things.
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Postby Olthar » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:24 am

Sari-chan waved at Daisuke as he left, glad for a visitor, no matter how short it may have been. She then turned back to the rabbits.

"Continue practicing what I've taught you," she called out into her bullhorn, "And make sure they don't slack off, Apple-chan. I'll be right back."

She then left the basement and began heading towards the main office, running through the halls at considerable speeds. In mere seconds, she arrived at the door, screeching to a halt and completely destroying a pair of shoes as the soles burned away. Kicking the ruined footwear off, she turned to the door, noticing another girl already waiting.

"Oh, hello there!" Sari-chan greeted her, "The principal, Crowley-sensei, isn't here right now. He's off in Ass-Guard or something."

Opening the door, Sari-chan walked into the empty office and pulled a piece of paper out of her Hammerspace. Borrowing a pen from Crowley's desk, she wrote a note on the paper.

Dear Mr. Crowley-sensei,

I have a totally awesome idea to help make us stronger for when we go fight those meany-pants demons in Hell. WEEKLY TEAM BUILDING SEMINARS!!!!!! That way, we can strengthen our bonds of friendship and make us a stronger team! After all, as Daisy-chan reminded me, friendship is our bestest weapon we have!!!! Please come talk to me about them when you get back from Ass-Guard.

Loves and hugs,
Sari-chan

The catgirl then left the note on the desk and walked out of the office, heading back towards the basement.
Last edited by Olthar on Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Hetland 2
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Postby Hetland 2 » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:56 am

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:James stopped and stood dead-straight, not even looking back. "My point still stands, Lazrian. I've fought demons bigger and stronger than you, and with one. Simple. Shot. They were down. Just from here, I have six different ways of killing you, only one which involves my gun. Now, enough with your little tough-guy act. Get her to her room and leave me to my class, before you do something... Drastic."


There were three things that Maria didn't like about this conversation.
1. It didn't involve her Girder gun thing.
2. She had been pushed.
3. She didn't have a say in who she wanted to take her to her room. She'd have preferred Frida to be honest.
And then they were fighting.
With one surprisingly fluid motion Maria ripped a chair out from under a NPC and slammed in infront of the two arguing jumping up on the chair and grabbing both of their heads and bashing them together, shouting "Listen, you Twats! We don't have time to fight!"
They both reacted with stirring decorum and maturity, shaking hands and apologizing for getting angry at each other.
That however was how it went in her head. How it really happened went something like this.
Maria turned around rapidly (vomiting slightly in her mouth) and pulled at something that looked like a chair from her point of view. It was a bench and several hapless NPCs were sent flying, before smashing it down in the ground and stomped up towards them, grabbing both their heads in her hands and driving them together. Unfortunately for Laz and James, the foreheads were not the first to meet. The lips were. Maria was about to say something when she turned pale and ran off towards the bathroom, needing a place to vomit.
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Nationstatelandsville
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Postby Nationstatelandsville » Sun Sep 09, 2012 1:39 pm

Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Meanwhile, Minh just stared at Megan and Rosalind. He then spoke to Lewis. "You need to make your letters more detailed. They didn't cover this." he looked around and then sat down next to a dazed and injured bear. He pulled out a cigar, placing it in his mouth. "Want one?" he offered to the bear who screamed in the Eastern European accent. "I think trying to fight us would really not be a good idea at the moment. That one man is enough of a handful." he said, gesturing to Lewis. "You do not want to fight a whole tribe of him. Think very carefully about your options right now. You can either be loyal to your species. Or you can be here during Lewis' family reunion. Take your pick." He did have a sword over the bear's neck in case he was stupid enough to pick the wrong one.

"PUT IT ON!" one of the bears roared in an accent that, should you dissect it, would prove to be that of a group of Bantu nearer the heart of Africa.

"NEVER!" Lewis spat back, punching said bear in the face.

"Just do it already!" Megan demanded, whacking Lewis with the bat.

"Fine!" Lewis snapped, throwing all of the bears off of him with a great heave. They went tumbling to the ground, allowing Damien and Minh a better look at them. They represented a wide range of bear species and sub-species, most of which a biologist would call you "a lying son-of-a-bitch" upon seeing, as many were extinct or, to be perfectly frank, physically impossible. Regardless, to the uneducated observer, they simply looked like bears.

"Ye' bastard are gonna' pay for this," Lewis grumbled, slipping a diadem made of bent branches and leaves onto his head. With minimal effort, the Eastern European bear (a common brown bear) broke from Minh's hold and the twelve Bear Councilman claimed their seats, with a reluctant Geography teacher on the far left.

"Now then," said the previously mentioned African bear (a brilliant specimen of an Atlas bear) from his seat on the right of the Bear-King's, "as the eldest Echelon present, and due to the continued absence of our good King, I, Lord Ironhunter of Central Africa, call this war tribunal to business."

He flashed Minh, Damien, and Megan (who hovered uncomfortably close to the two with her blood-spattered bat) a warm and toothy smile, one which showed his fangs to be made of chipped and scratched, but ever-sharp, iron.

"Yoo 'ave silleh teeth," Rosalind bubbled in the most horrific menagerie of regional English and Irish accents, as well as whatever the fuck Lewis' accent is.

"By the Forest, it speaks the eldritch tongue!" Ironhunter exclaimed.

"Nah, she's just a traveler," Lewis said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "My daughter, ye' know."

"There is no god," Ironhunter said in dismay.

"Uh, yes," interjected a Spanish-accented (Lewis recognized it as Asturian) brown bear, "what the good Lord Ironhunter means to say is simple - as Lord Lewis-legionslayer's accounts of what brings you here are sparse, limited simply to human curses and fists, I must ask the most sensible among you to explain. Is there a 'Minh Taka' present?

We would like you not to speak, given what the good Lord Lewis-legionslayer has said about your, uh, taste for alcohol. 'Damien Seward' is preferred."

"Hey!" Megan protested, "I'm sensible!"

And everyone in the room laughed, including Rosalind.
"Then I was fertilized and grew wise;
From a word to a word I was led to a word,
From a work to a work I was led to a work."
- Odin, Hávamál 138-141, the Poetic Edda, as translated by Dan McCoy.

I enjoy meta-humor and self-deprecation. Annoying, right?

Goodbye.

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Nude East Ireland
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Postby Nude East Ireland » Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:00 pm

Damien stepped forward, away from Megan. He sighed. "Right, well, hello," he said. "My name is Damien Seward. I'm a hunter. And I represent the needs of the Universe. You see, there is a demon of great power and influence, named Azazel. He has an alliance with an asshole of great power and influence, named Uriel. And they are intent on conquering everything. And in order to keep what little time both humanity and bear-anity have left on this world, or perhaps any other, I come before you to ask for an army of warriors. An army capable of fighting the army of Azazel."

He turned to Megan. "You can come too."
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Postby Ameriganastan » Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:33 pm

Hetland 2 wrote:There were three things that Maria didn't like about this conversation.
1. It didn't involve her Girder gun thing.
2. She had been pushed.
3. She didn't have a say in who she wanted to take her to her room. She'd have preferred Frida to be honest.
And then they were fighting.
With one surprisingly fluid motion Maria ripped a chair out from under a NPC and slammed in infront of the two arguing jumping up on the chair and grabbing both of their heads and bashing them together, shouting "Listen, you Twats! We don't have time to fight!"
They both reacted with stirring decorum and maturity, shaking hands and apologizing for getting angry at each other.
That however was how it went in her head. How it really happened went something like this.
Maria turned around rapidly (vomiting slightly in her mouth) and pulled at something that looked like a chair from her point of view. It was a bench and several hapless NPCs were sent flying, before smashing it down in the ground and stomped up towards them, grabbing both their heads in her hands and driving them together. Unfortunately for Laz and James, the foreheads were not the first to meet. The lips were. Maria was about to say something when she turned pale and ran off towards the bathroom, needing a place to vomit.

Damn...he got soft lips...wait...

"My. Sweet. Lucifer! I just locked lips with a dude that isn't Pierre...uh...none of you heard that. Nothing happened. Especially not after three bottles of tequila, and a 50 dollar bet...nothing. Ugh...you know...the fighting mood has passed. I'm just gonna...yeah."

Laz wiped his mouth off, and quickly exited the room.
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Nationstatelandsville
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Postby Nationstatelandsville » Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:57 pm

Nude East Ireland wrote:Damien stepped forward, away from Megan. He sighed. "Right, well, hello," he said. "My name is Damien Seward. I'm a hunter. And I represent the needs of the Universe. You see, there is a demon of great power and influence, named Azazel. He has an alliance with an asshole of great power and influence, named Uriel. And they are intent on conquering everything. And in order to keep what little time both humanity and bear-anity have left on this world, or perhaps any other, I come before you to ask for an army of warriors. An army capable of fighting the army of Azazel."

He turned to Megan. "You can come too."

"We bears have no reason to fear Azazel," the Spanish bear replied, "We do not pretend to be gods, no, nor do we pretend to be of ancient origins nor ancient wisdom. We are, however, natural survivors and warriors. Many of your strongest hunters have spent their years trying to destroy us, recognizing our vast power and fearing it. Few have survived and only two of you have ever visited this Court before today - one of whom faced a life sentence. You silly, stupid apes could not possibly believe that a heart attack can end such a mighty man!"

"We fight for nobility," Ironhunter continued, "not life. Bears fear no death. We certainly do not any Hell, for we can easily endure it and even easier destroy it. Azazel may be strong, but he is still a damned man, damned to his realm. Even if he is to break free of it, he cannot hurt us, for we shall return him. A single bear would fall easily at a daemon's hand, but we shall not fight alone if they day does come. We shall fight as the most organized and effective army this Omniverse has ever known, and Azazel will fall. He knows this, and so, he shall do us no harm. As such, we need only fight for honor, but there is no honor in this fight. You humans deserve what is coming to you. We would fight for Azazel, in fact, were he not so unworthy himself."

"Can I disagree?" Lewis offered.

"You may," Ironhunter replied, "but it is futile. The Bear-King is the only individual with the right to declare war, and, in such an era of peace, he sees no reason to disrupt it. Our armies have grown lax, he feels, and we would never be able to rouse them in time for battle. While I disagree, I will not advocate aiding you genocidal beasts, nor will any advocating of mine have any effect on him. He is very stubborn and does not hold any great affection for me, nor any of us."
"Then I was fertilized and grew wise;
From a word to a word I was led to a word,
From a work to a work I was led to a work."
- Odin, Hávamál 138-141, the Poetic Edda, as translated by Dan McCoy.

I enjoy meta-humor and self-deprecation. Annoying, right?

Goodbye.

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Hardened Pyrokinetics
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Postby Hardened Pyrokinetics » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:00 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:
Hetland 2 wrote:There were three things that Maria didn't like about this conversation.
1. It didn't involve her Girder gun thing.
2. She had been pushed.
3. She didn't have a say in who she wanted to take her to her room. She'd have preferred Frida to be honest.
And then they were fighting.
With one surprisingly fluid motion Maria ripped a chair out from under a NPC and slammed in infront of the two arguing jumping up on the chair and grabbing both of their heads and bashing them together, shouting "Listen, you Twats! We don't have time to fight!"
They both reacted with stirring decorum and maturity, shaking hands and apologizing for getting angry at each other.
That however was how it went in her head. How it really happened went something like this.
Maria turned around rapidly (vomiting slightly in her mouth) and pulled at something that looked like a chair from her point of view. It was a bench and several hapless NPCs were sent flying, before smashing it down in the ground and stomped up towards them, grabbing both their heads in her hands and driving them together. Unfortunately for Laz and James, the foreheads were not the first to meet. The lips were. Maria was about to say something when she turned pale and ran off towards the bathroom, needing a place to vomit.

Damn...he got soft lips...wait...

"My. Sweet. Lucifer! I just locked lips with a dude that isn't Pierre...uh...none of you heard that. Nothing happened. Especially not after three bottles of tequila, and a 50 dollar bet...nothing. Ugh...you know...the fighting mood has passed. I'm just gonna...yeah."

Laz wiped his mouth off, and quickly exited the room.

James stood there for a moment, stunned. Well... That was certainly interesting... Fucking stinky-ass breath though.

He turned and walked over to the podium, sat in a chair, and waited.
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greed and death wrote:It is a sad day when we criticize the President for honoring a solider who gave everything for his nation.


Olthar wrote:
Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:... He's twenty.

He's also a moron.

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Nude East Ireland
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Postby Nude East Ireland » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:12 pm

Damien looked at Lewis, then back at Ironhunter. "Do Bears not have the honor to do what is necessary?" he asked. "Are your people so lazy and foolish that you would focus more on sitting back and doing nothing, instead of preventing your enslavement?" He stopped, before he would insult an entire species in front of their leaders. He thought good and hard for a moment, before looking at Ironhunter, his young face now grim.

"If the Bear-King is killed in a duel, then what becomes the requirement for becoming the next Bear-King?" he asked.
Part One of the Incredible, Invincible Team Dai-Zarkeland!

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Nationstatelandsville
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Postby Nationstatelandsville » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:47 pm

Nude East Ireland wrote:Damien looked at Lewis, then back at Ironhunter. "Do Bears not have the honor to do what is necessary?" he asked. "Are your people so lazy and foolish that you would focus more on sitting back and doing nothing, instead of preventing your enslavement?" He stopped, before he would insult an entire species in front of their leaders. He thought good and hard for a moment, before looking at Ironhunter, his young face now grim.

"If the Bear-King is killed in a duel, then what becomes the requirement for becoming the next Bear-King?" he asked.

"The Bear-King must be chosen from the High Echelons by the Bear Council, though in states of emergency and times of war, the eldest Echelon shall take his pla-" Ironhunter explained, before looking over and noticing a grinning Lewis, "No. No! FOREST-DAMN IT, NO!"

"Let's just get this damn thing over with!" Megan spat, pulling a machine gun out from her blouse (a trick she had learned from Lewis), opening fire on Ironhunter and reducing him to blood and gore within moments, "There. Lewis is now the eldest Echelon."

"She killed Ironhunter!" the Spanish bear shouted in shock. The Eastern European bear simply started crying again.

"She's not a bear," Lewis said with a shrug, struggling to hide his smile (he was failing, miserably), "We've got no power over her. Guess we should go tell the Bear-King."

A trapdoor suddenly opened behind Damien, one Lewis bolted towards instantly.

"Stop!" the Spanish bear demanded, rising from his seat, "In the name of the Forest, stop!"

"Political immunity!" Lewis countered.

"THAT IS NOT WHAT THAT WORDS MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!" the bear demanded. But Lewis did not hear him, for he was already gone. Rosalind rubbed her ears with annoyance, before being scooped up into the arms of her mother, who quickly shepherded Minh and Damien down the stairs with shouts, death threats, and kicks. The four stumbled into a room that was fundamentally similar to the Court, though with a few furnishing differences. Rather than a stand for the Echelons, there was a mighty throne made of carefully-carved wood, bearing the image of a bear swallowing a salmon on the back. Directly in front of the throne, in the center of the room, was a mighty golden statue, one rising ten feet into the air. It depicted a massive polar bear, wielding a sharp spear and a shield, howling in rage at the sky while perched upon a rock surrounded by (real) gurgling sea-water. Inscribed under the statue were the words "KING POLARBEARD - Plunderer of the Foes of Bearkind, Enemy of the Treacherous Grizzly Clan, Unifier of the Bear Republics, and the First Bear-King". Occasionally, a short jet of flame erupted from the statue's mouth, despite the bear being from the North Pole, but whatever.

Currently occupying the throne was the current Bear-King, a massive Kodiak wearing a purple-fringed toga and a silver crown lined with sapphires. Behind the throne (and wrapped around the Bear-King's throat), was his successor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the Bear-King cried, "Now I shall never know if Jerry and Elaine get back together!"

"That show was cancelled, like, twenty years ago!" Lewis replied, tightening his grip, "They don't!"

"Damn you, Lewis Jameson!" the Bear-King shouted tearfully, "With my final breath, I have my vengeance! There shall be no more mercy, no more treaty! From this day forward, man shall pay for your actions! I declare war upon humanity! You shall pa-"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Lewis spat, "That's all I needed, Smokey. Sorry about this, by the way. I'll call the Forest Service later."

With a sickening crack!, Lewis Jameson was now the leader of the most powerful government in the world. Everybody was going to die.

"I don't know if ye' heard," Lewis laughed when the eleven bears, leading by the Spanish, bounded the steps, "but we're in a state of war right now. Well, not anymore, but we here! No take-backs!"

Lewis removed the crown from the dead Smokey's head and placed it on his.

"And now we are again," he sighed mockingly, "Too bad."

"Well, actually, I am only a year you-" the Spanish bear objected, before he had a machine gun in his nose.

"You resign," Megan said sternly.

"I resign," the Spanish bear whimpered.

"Which means we'll be needin' a new Councilman for Western Europe," Lewis said, jumping down from the throne, "Ye' busy, Damien?"
Last edited by Nationstatelandsville on Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Then I was fertilized and grew wise;
From a word to a word I was led to a word,
From a work to a work I was led to a work."
- Odin, Hávamál 138-141, the Poetic Edda, as translated by Dan McCoy.

I enjoy meta-humor and self-deprecation. Annoying, right?

Goodbye.

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Nude East Ireland
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Postby Nude East Ireland » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:59 pm

Damien shook his head. "Not particularly. I may not be at every meeting, however. And while I would prefer being the Bear-King..." as his voice trailed off, Damien looked at Megan. "... I think I'll settle for Councilman. And at least now we can get somewhere with the whole War of Hell thing." Damien nodded at his fellow Council members, and then smirked. "As a proposal, I would like to recommend that your, er, lovely wife become head of the Bear Armies. Ironside did say that they were quite lax. If anyone could bring them into battle, it would be her."
Part One of the Incredible, Invincible Team Dai-Zarkeland!

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Nightkill the Emperor
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Postby Nightkill the Emperor » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:06 pm

Minh just stared. "I think I'll figure out exactly what just happened here sometime later today. But right now my brain's wondering what the hell just happened." He shook his head. "Alright. We have the bears. Do we need to do something else or are we done here? Also, Lewis, you owe me vodka. A lot of vodka." he sighed, taking a seat.
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