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by AETEN II » Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:45 pm
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Nightkill the Emperor » Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:45 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Zarkenis Ultima » Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:55 pm
by Amon and Friends » Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:59 pm
Ameriganastan wrote:Amon and Friends wrote:Pierre stood up at the end of the table.
"Wait, what? What's this about Lewis and children? My hearing has been pretty bad ever since..."
He paused for a moment, appeared to be stuck in thought, scowled violently, and shuddered. Even the memories of that were horrible. He attempted to put them out of his mind, and then continued.
"...well, the time I tried to climb Everest."
Suddenly, he saw the pictures Lewis was showing Crowley, and his jaw dropped. He was confused, astounded, horrified, and frankly, slightly jealous. How on earth could Lewis have a wife, girlfriend, or child, and yet he didn't? Pierre thought he was at least decent looking, but he knew that he was an utter failure at anything that involved romance or dating. He didn't even care about it that much. However, the fact that Lewis had managed it and he had not embarrassed him immensely.
And then he realized that Lewis had a child. Pierre leaned back in his chair and sighed, and one single thought sprung to his mind.
"When she grows up, we're fucked."
Speaking of morons, who had no business reproducing...
"There you are!"
Laz plopped down in the seat next to Pierre, picking the 5 key from his phone out of his teeth.
"I almost don't wanna be back here. I still wanted to go to Belize, but no, you had to get the feds on our back..."
He coughed up the 9 key, and sighed.
"Also, I'm never listening to your advice about 'Sowing my oats' again. I've got bitches from 6 different countries after me..."
by The Inritus Extraho » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:02 pm
AETEN II wrote:The trick was working very well in Malal's case, he certainly couldn't wait for the night, for the last two years they had almost always been enjoyable. He was now quite distracted by the sight and at times nearly tripped while taking the stairs. He also had nearly slipped on some rather annoying black rubbery liquid that was flowing down the stairs, causing him to angrily shake his feet and get any residue of the substance off his feet. Thinking nothing more of it, Malal continued his journey down the stairs and enjoying the view of Nyarla until they then reached the bottom of the stairwell and reached the basement.
"Alright. Jade, ensure your mind can't be breached when we reach the Spawn, last thing we need is for it corrupt your mind. That wouldn't be good." Malal stated as he then walked forward and opened the first in a series of doors in the basement, each of them enchanted with magic and all of them very durable. Once the group stepped through the first, Malal then pulled it shut and locked it before he then moved onto the next and repeated the same process until they reached the final door.
"Prepare yourself mortal." Malal stated as he then opened the third door, and there was the Spawn. A horrible, twisted creature that was never meant to be- its arms chained to a wall to prevent its escape. The horrible being screeched upon seeing the group and struggled in its imprisonment, attempting to escape, but of course, such attempts were in vain.
But there was a new one.
A young woman, a mortal- a weakness... one that could be exploited.
The Spawn quickly began to probe Jade's mind, wiggling about with ease- it was three fourths of divine blood and a fourth undead, it broke through any defenses with ease and started to search the mind of the girl- searching for how it could appear sympathetic.
But all parties failed to notice that the black liquid had followed them, pooling in a far corner of the room where it condensed to form a large chair that was not there before. Only a keen eye would spot that however, and all eyes were focused on the horrible monstrosity before them.
by Nationstatelandsville » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:14 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Minh grinned. "I already knew it." he said. "Lewis, I'll be seeing you later if you want to chat." he said, walking away. He would talk to his son later- the boy wanted some time alone and wasn't afraid to let Minh know it. Talking right now would be too painful for them both.
Crowley just stared and gaped at Lewis. "I just- I- I-" he didn't even continue for a minute. Then his voice came back. "You're engaged?" he asked with quiet horror.
Amon and Friends wrote:Ameriganastan wrote:Speaking of morons, who had no business reproducing...
"There you are!"
Laz plopped down in the seat next to Pierre, picking the 5 key from his phone out of his teeth.
"I almost don't wanna be back here. I still wanted to go to Belize, but no, you had to get the feds on our back..."
He coughed up the 9 key, and sighed.
"Also, I'm never listening to your advice about 'Sowing my oats' again. I've got bitches from 6 different countries after me..."
Pierre threw his hands up in the air.
"Laz, I didn't say that! Look. It was Vegas, you were drunk out of your mind, I hadn't slept in a week, and you completely misconstrued my statement!" he said. Of course, this wasn't true.
The truth was, Pierre had started lamenting about the fact that he probably wouldn't have any children, because he couldn't even get a single date. That night had been pretty depressing, honestly. Unluckily, he had mentioned that Laz was "probably lucky enough to pull it off", and he did mention that Laz "should try it some time". Pierre, however, didn't actually think it was his fault. He sighed, and continued talking.
"We can visit Belize next year. I've got a contact who can forge us passports and identities, so that should be no problem. Plus, the feds really aren't a problem. And, eventually, I'll pay the bank all the money that I stole. Eventually. By the way, what's in Belize, anyway? I mean, it's mainly just jungles and all that. Dunno why you'd want to go there. I was thinking that next year, we could try visiting Asgard. It couldn't be that hard."
Pierre then realized that some of the teachers were staring at him strangely. It was probably the whole "robbed a bank" thing he had mentioned. Perhaps it was time to change topics. He turned to Lewis.
"Hey, Lewis! Great to see you. You're having a kid? That's great. So, how have you been doing?" he said.
by AETEN II » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:17 pm
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Mavorpen » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:19 pm
by Ameriganastan » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:22 pm
Nationstatelandsville wrote:
Pierre suddenly felt himself trapped in a massive bear-hug from which there was no escape.
"Great, boy!" he boomed, "Great!"
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.
Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity
Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.
Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*
by The Inritus Extraho » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:25 pm
AETEN II wrote:Malal tackled the Spawn off Jade and attempted to subdue the creature and imprison it once more- but this, this was a process. He had fought his offspring a few times, and even at a few weeks old it was a difficult fight. It nearly matched its strength and was far less clumsy in combat that he was. This resulted in a 'war of attrition' between the two, in that they both would lock hands and attempt to force the other into submission. There was also no point in using his power, that succeeded in nothing. What mattered now was ensuring the damned spawn didn't escape and destroy the school- and Malal eventually succeeded in this and pinned the beast against a wall. This allowed Nyarla to imprison it once more and once such was done, Malal collapsed onto the floor from exhaustion.
"GOD DAMNED BEAST! WE'D BE HAPPY TO RAISE YOU! YOU'D BE WELCOMED INTO HEL! BUT NO, YOU HAVE TO ACT IN SUCH A SAVAGE MANNER! YOU HAVE TO MAIM! WHY?! JUST TELL ME WHY!" Malal yelled as he then slammed his fist down on the grown beside him before he picked himself off the floor and walked over to Jade and healed her wounds- although he was certain something likely remained that he couldn't. But that didn't matter right now, what did was to ensure she wasn't dead.
"JADE! You there?" Malal asked as he shook her several times in an attempt to stir her.
by Zarkenis Ultima » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:26 pm
by Nationstatelandsville » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:30 pm
Ameriganastan wrote:Nationstatelandsville wrote:
Pierre suddenly felt himself trapped in a massive bear-hug from which there was no escape.
"Great, boy!" he boomed, "Great!"
Laz rolled his eyes, and peeled the psychopath off Pierre, holding him out at an arms length. He didn't need a hug at the moment.
"The fact that you reproduced, is a sad omen for your world."
He dropped him on the ground, and sat back down.
by Astrolinium » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:31 pm
Nationstatelandsville wrote:giant chef-thing? I mean, like, someone's gotta' potty train him, right
by AETEN II » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:34 pm
The Inritus Extraho wrote:AETEN II wrote:Malal tackled the Spawn off Jade and attempted to subdue the creature and imprison it once more- but this, this was a process. He had fought his offspring a few times, and even at a few weeks old it was a difficult fight. It nearly matched its strength and was far less clumsy in combat that he was. This resulted in a 'war of attrition' between the two, in that they both would lock hands and attempt to force the other into submission. There was also no point in using his power, that succeeded in nothing. What mattered now was ensuring the damned spawn didn't escape and destroy the school- and Malal eventually succeeded in this and pinned the beast against a wall. This allowed Nyarla to imprison it once more and once such was done, Malal collapsed onto the floor from exhaustion.
"GOD DAMNED BEAST! WE'D BE HAPPY TO RAISE YOU! YOU'D BE WELCOMED INTO HEL! BUT NO, YOU HAVE TO ACT IN SUCH A SAVAGE MANNER! YOU HAVE TO MAIM! WHY?! JUST TELL ME WHY!" Malal yelled as he then slammed his fist down on the grown beside him before he picked himself off the floor and walked over to Jade and healed her wounds- although he was certain something likely remained that he couldn't. But that didn't matter right now, what did was to ensure she wasn't dead.
"JADE! You there?" Malal asked as he shook her several times in an attempt to stir her.
Jade squeezed her eyes shut, and beckoned to her sword, which came whizzing into her hand, her eyes still tightly closed, missing Malal by a couple inches. Funny how she didn't think of that before... Should have just pushed it back into her hand when the Spawn attacked. She used one hand to cover her eyes, and reversed her grip on the sword, only to find... There wasn't much to reverse. The sword had shattered on the restraints. The blade broke off when she attacked them. Karma, one would say. She would say it was shoddy craftsmanship. She opened her eyes to confirm it, and nodded, then stood up shakily, using Malal for support. She drew her arm back, and the rest of the parts flew towards her, held in a slowly-spinning rotation, as if pressed like a butterfly between glass panes.
She collapsed it to look like (somewhat) like a sword, though it took its original shape, and sheathed it, tying the hilt in with a band of force. Come back, Jade... she heard, and her eyes flashed open, wider, while her head snapped up, staring at it. "It's..." she mumbled, stunned. "It's not an empath. It's a puppetmaster. It takes people over." Don't worry, Jade, I can't hurt you... She backed up, and found herself feeling across the wall, trying to find that doorway, to get out, to escape. "It's... it's just..." she couldn't find words. And for the first time, the first time in a very long time, she was afraid. "Nyarla... Malal... help... I feel like it's still in there, messing with me." I wouldn't do anything so terribly blunt, Jade. You know that.
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Hetland 2 » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:36 pm
we will send a air stare on libya if they don't stop their attack
The krang countered the wave with something. And continued to try and take over the decepticon seeker.
Everybody! Can you stop saying that the cargo ship sinking we have done lately was a war crime. We were trying to economically destroy the UK.
Mair glows brightly and transforms in a human, wearing a white cloak, "leave us"
"FIRE IN THE HOE" he bellowed before triggering the explosive.
Julius Ceasar was a normal 14 year old who played Elder Tale in Russia.
We have already established, more powerful beings are not a proper weakness.
by Mavorpen » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:36 pm
by The Inritus Extraho » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:38 pm
by Ameriganastan » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:40 pm
Nationstatelandsville wrote:Ameriganastan wrote:Laz rolled his eyes, and peeled the psychopath off Pierre, holding him out at an arms length. He didn't need a hug at the moment.
"The fact that you reproduced, is a sad omen for your world."
He dropped him on the ground, and sat back down.
Laz suddenly felt the tip of a cane bounce off his forehead.
"Mind yourself, child," Lewis ordered, "You might be big and 'scary', but I've got your card."
To prove his point, Lewis proceeded to blast Laz's face with his cryokinetic vision, giving him a nasty case of frostbite and causing him to shiver in his seat like a winter wind had blown through.
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.
Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity
Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.
Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*
by AETEN II » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:43 pm
The Inritus Extraho wrote:Jade wriggled slightly while Malal carried her. After all, his exoskeleton was digging into her hips because of how he was carrying her, and it hurt. "Malal, I can walk, you know. You are a really good healer, after all." She slipped off of his shoulder, and landed gracefully. Muscle memory is in control, good. That means only higher functions, if anything. She smiled. "Malal, the square of thirteen is 169, the antiderivative of x squared is one-third x cubed, the trachea is the most vulnerable skin-level part on a human, and the capital of New Africa is Gibraltar, right?"
Okay, so her math and biology was good. Geography, not so much. But blame Nyarlathotep, she trusted Nyarla. "A-and thanks for saving me. I was stupid back there..."
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Amon and Friends » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:45 pm
Ameriganastan wrote:Nationstatelandsville wrote:
Laz suddenly felt the tip of a cane bounce off his forehead.
"Mind yourself, child," Lewis ordered, "You might be big and 'scary', but I've got your card."
To prove his point, Lewis proceeded to blast Laz's face with his cryokinetic vision, giving him a nasty case of frostbite and causing him to shiver in his seat like a winter wind had blown through.
"I hate it when you do that..."
Laz covered his hands in fire(Setting off a few sprinklers with the smoke...again) and held them against his face. By odd coincidence, the whole surrounding area started smelling like charred moron.
"Ah...warm."
by Agritum » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:48 pm
by The Inritus Extraho » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:49 pm
AETEN II wrote:The Inritus Extraho wrote:Jade wriggled slightly while Malal carried her. After all, his exoskeleton was digging into her hips because of how he was carrying her, and it hurt. "Malal, I can walk, you know. You are a really good healer, after all." She slipped off of his shoulder, and landed gracefully. Muscle memory is in control, good. That means only higher functions, if anything. She smiled. "Malal, the square of thirteen is 169, the antiderivative of x squared is one-third x cubed, the trachea is the most vulnerable skin-level part on a human, and the capital of New Africa is Gibraltar, right?"
Okay, so her math and biology was good. Geography, not so much. But blame Nyarlathotep, she trusted Nyarla. "A-and thanks for saving me. I was stupid back there..."
"You forgot very. Dammit, I love Nyarla, but she can be an idiot at times. Thankfully I tagged along. The Spawn is able to overpower her, I'm the only one who can subdue it. You sure you're alright?" Malal asked as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robes which pulled down on the hood that sat on his head and covered his eyes. He then pulled one hand out and brushed the hood down so he could see.
"I still don't know how we could produce something so evil. I know we're not exactly the nicest couple, but even Nyarla doesn't try to kill her/his father/mother. I never would dream of harming Hel." Malal noted, incapable of understanding how something so evil could result from not that seriously evil persons.
by AETEN II » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:59 pm
The Inritus Extraho wrote:AETEN II wrote:"You forgot very. Dammit, I love Nyarla, but she can be an idiot at times. Thankfully I tagged along. The Spawn is able to overpower her, I'm the only one who can subdue it. You sure you're alright?" Malal asked as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robes which pulled down on the hood that sat on his head and covered his eyes. He then pulled one hand out and brushed the hood down so he could see.
"I still don't know how we could produce something so evil. I know we're not exactly the nicest couple, but even Nyarla doesn't try to kill her/his father/mother. I never would dream of harming Hel." Malal noted, incapable of understanding how something so evil could result from not that seriously evil persons.
"Yeah..." Jade nodded, though her head still rang slightly. She'd be fine. "And I'm thinking it might be a combination. Like how mice are fine, and birds are fine, but flying mice, ugh, just bats are annoying. For example, Nyarla's naturally disposed to manipulation, I'd bet, and you're naturally disposed to command, so it would create a manipulative bastard when you two got mixed up."
She tried to gloss over the fact that Malal had admitted to loving Nyarla, but... Well, it made sense to her. Even if it was mildly annoying.
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"
"Because your dad's a whore."
"...He died a week ago."
"Of syphilis, I bet."
by Mavorpen » Thu Aug 23, 2012 11:00 pm
Agritum wrote:Hildegard stood up next to one of the tables of the auditorium, quietly peeling away the skin of an orange with her balisong. Knives can be used for things other than carving people, y'know. That said, the pesky orange decided to squirt right over Hilde's face. What an idiot.
In a manner that would make the Sensei from Fruit Ninja proud, she launched the orange in the air, before jumping to reach it during its fall. The Siebenachte's blade gleamed in the light of the auditorium. as it sliced the orange in two, then four pieces.
Its juice squirted against the wall in a very unrealistical manner, as Hilde closed the balisong wth a simple motion of her hands, before crossing her arms and watching the result.
Of course, she was sure that one of the students would have approached her to talk after seeing such a show, and she patiently waited for him/her to show up.
by The Inritus Extraho » Thu Aug 23, 2012 11:05 pm
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