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Nationstatelandsville
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 70969
Founded: Apr 27, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Nationstatelandsville » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:08 pm

"Give me a whole fucking cow," Lewis said to a teenager at the buffet.

"I'm a student," the kid replied, loading his plate with vegetables and dressings, ignoring the platter of delicious dead things in front of him.

"Vegan hippie bitch-tits," Lewis grumbled, grabbing the entire platter of beef and walking away, dropping it down on the table occupied by Yuzuki, Rayne, and Malal.

"I saw teachers and figured you guys would be normal," Lewis said, grabbing an entire beef roast and take a huge bite of it, juices getting trapped forever in his mustache and chest hair, and hair likewise marking the roast as his.

"Your face is fucked-up," Lewis said without a hint of irony to Malal, "A doctor should look at that."
Last edited by Nationstatelandsville on Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Then I was fertilized and grew wise;
From a word to a word I was led to a word,
From a work to a work I was led to a work."
- Odin, Hávamál 138-141, the Poetic Edda, as translated by Dan McCoy.

I enjoy meta-humor and self-deprecation. Annoying, right?

Goodbye.

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Olthar
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 59474
Founded: Jun 23, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Olthar » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:10 pm

Sari-chan was dejected at Lazrian's admonishment of her. Picking up her clothes, she quietly got dressed again. Once finished, she bowed respectfully to the other student.

"I am sorry for offending you, Lazrian-sama. Please excuse me," she spoke softly before walking off, suppressing the urge to cry.

Reaching the far wall, Sari-chan sat down on the ground and sighed. After a few moments, she pulled a large, stuffed kitty doll seemingly out of nowhere and curled up with it, purring as she drifted off to sleep.
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Ameriganastan
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Posts: 52670
Founded: Jul 01, 2008
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Ameriganastan » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:14 pm

Laz just stood there, scratching his head.

"Wait...what just happened? Was that a no? Feh, good riddance. I can find other suitable females. Like...ah, that one will do. HEY! LESBIAN WITH THE FLUFFY TAIL!

Laz yelled across the room at Yuzuki.

"Wanna be my mascot!?"
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Mavorpen
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Founded: Dec 20, 2011
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Postby Mavorpen » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:20 pm

Izanagi had sighed when the horrible sound of the instrument known as the banjo ceased. He continued eating his fruit, and another sound grated his ears. He looked over at Laz, who had been screaming and screamed back, "Hey! Hey you!" Once he had gotten Laz's attention, he continued. "Shut up!" He continued eating once more and began whistling a tune he had heard on the plane ride to London. He then stopped. "Why the hell was I whistling that?"
"The Nixon campaign in 1968, and the Nixon White House after that, had two enemies: the antiwar left and black people. You understand what I'm saying? We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders. raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did."—former Nixon domestic policy chief John Ehrlichman

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Erinkita
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14478
Founded: Sep 15, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Erinkita » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:20 pm

Shissk was slightly hurt by the way the banjo-playing rabbit-hurler ignored her. Why would he offer banjos if he didn't want ot be taken up on the offer? Shissk realised that she had just allowed her feeling to get hurt by some surface-dweller she had never met before in a place she didn't want to be, and silently told herself off for being so stupid. This place wasn't her home. These people weren't her friends. What did it matter whether they payed attention to her or not? Hell, why would she even want to talk to them? She didn't trust them. From what she'd seen so far, they were mostly insane or stupid or both.

Grumbling at herself, Shissk went back to her corner to find it occupied by the now-dressed cat-girl who had been licking herself earlier. With a hiss of annoyance, Shissk left the dining hall. Back to her room, she decided. She could just sink to the bottom and go to sleep. That would be best.
Loan me a dragon, I wanna see space.
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The Nuclear Fist
Post Czar
 
Posts: 33214
Founded: May 02, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby The Nuclear Fist » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:23 pm

Nyarlathotep stared at her hands, her long, elegant fingers tapping against the oak wood of the desk. She had arrived in Britain one day previously, having been summoned from the realm of the Outer Gods, a loyal follower of the Doom Prophet seeking her for guidance, for wisdom, for power. That was an inconceivably terrible move. Or perhaps it was a good one based on the woman's intent? Nyarlathotep could never understand the minds of the followers of Yog-Sothothery. They were all a mad bunch. The woman had summoned her in the bathroom of an airplane on its way to London, she was apparently a stewardess on break, who had taken the time to summon one of her many gods for the purpose of. . . well, to be honest, Nyarlathotep failed to get the far. But it wasn't important, who doesn't always like to squeeze in the summoning of an Eldritch abomination into their day? The woman had asked for the wisdom and power of Nyarlathotep, in exchange for her body and soul. This was, quite frankly, exactly what the Crawling Chaos needed.

Nyarlathotep could not believe her luck. In the blink of an eye, the chaotic, Eldritch mass flooded her mind, tethering and imposing itself upon her soul and wielding her body as a meaty, flesh puppet. There was no scream, no tunnel, no great flash of light as the woman's life was snuffed out like a flame in the vacuum. Only the most pitiful thumping as her body went up and slumped against the wall, rapidly becoming rigid and standing as life, or rather unlife, the dead, glassy eyes of the cultist blinking as Nyarlathotep exercised power over her new body. The woman was young, in her early twenties. Her hair was a very light blond, skin a deep, rich brown. Her ethnic origins were hard to determine, and so Nyarlathotep would simply assume she was some sort of mixed race. The woman had high, sharp cheekbones and various other appropriately placed and sized facial features. And so, Nyarlathotep, or Nyar for short, took her place upon the plane and flew quietly to London, where she soon found her way to Elfen High. It was a peculiar place, one she was surprised to find herself working at. In fact, she would not have even heard of it was it not for a friend she had enjoyed a conversation with. Was it Loreth? Or perhaps Lily? Nyar did not remember, she would learn it again later.

And so the Doom Prophet found herself as the new teacher of geography, sitting at her very own desk, in her very own classroom, at her very own academy. Well, perhaps not her academy. But she worked at it, at least. And she received payment for her work. Not that money was any use to Nyarlathotep, but it was the thought that counted. The woman sat at her desk, tapping the wooden surface with her fingertips, perfectly crafted nails clicking gently against it. With every little click, the surface changed very subtly. It was forming into something else, you see. Wood turned to ivory, wood and contents of the desk formed into the inner workings of a piano. As this process progressed, the clicks became more and more musical. Tap tap tap, the mildly annoying ticks became the sounds of ivory keys, and what was once a desk became a desk-shaped piano. Nyarlathotep's classroom was still empty, you see. And so, to fill time, she began to play. She played with elegance and beauty, as one who had practices with the instrument for as long as it had existed would. She played and played and played, her head bobbing back and forth, stoic mask giving way to a pleasant smile.

I wonder if I'll have students, today? She thought to herself, as she continued to play.
[23:24] <Marquesan> I have the feeling that all the porn videos you watch are like...set to Primus' music, Ulysses.
Farnhamia wrote:You're getting a little too fond of the jerkoff motions.
And you touch the distant beaches with tales of brave Ulysses. . .
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Amon and Friends
Diplomat
 
Posts: 717
Founded: Jun 18, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Amon and Friends » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:29 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:Laz just stood there, scratching his head.

"Wait...what just happened? Was that a no? Feh, good riddance. I can find other suitable females. Like...ah, that one will do. HEY! LESBIAN WITH THE FLUFFY TAIL!

Laz yelled across the room at Yuzuki.

"Wanna be my mascot!?"

Pierre closed his eyes and facepalmed.

"Lazarian, she's a TEACHER. A freaking TEACHER. And we don't even know if she's a lesbian!"

He sighed. Laz...was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"Why can't we just talk to the normal-ish-looking chicks? What about the hippie? Or the fish-girl?"

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AETEN II
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 12949
Founded: Aug 31, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby AETEN II » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:30 pm

Rupudska wrote:
Metanih wrote:Rayne's eyes got wide as quarters when the tail popped out. She looked the epitome of disappointed when it went back to its limp state. "Could... Could I... You know... Pet it?" Rayne stammered a bit, looking down. For Hell's sake, control yourself! Just because she has a tail, does not mean she wants it petted. She thought to herself, but her own thoughts betrayed her a moment later. Then again, it did perk up when I petted the ears... I am sure she would like it. Rayne realized she was begging with her eyes at that point, and despite herself, she didn't stop.


Again, Yuzuki shrugged, puffing her pipe. "I've got no problem with it, so long as you don't pull on it. You haven't earned enough of my trust to get to pull on it." She puffed several more times, thinking of the list of people she kept in her car she allowed to pull on it. It was surprisingly long, but nowhere near as long as the 5-and-a-half megabyte list of her sexual conquests, kept on her computer. "Just don't pet it too much, you'll turn me on."

"That would be an absolute shame now wouldn't?" Malal joked as he then cut up the Boar's head into headcheese and started eating the cubes, one by one, and swallowing them whole. He then however turned to Lewis and snapped his fingers, turning the chunk of meat Lewis was eating into concrete.
"I don't take kindly to mortals who believe themselves superior to something that can suck their soul out of their body. Or I could always kill you in the most painful way I can think of, then reanimate your corpse and do it again. I look the way I do because I am the son of Hel, goddess of the Underworld. It is also unwise to upset a Necromancer." Malal said as he then reanimated the cow that the roast was taken from- the poor creature was quite startled at finding itself in its current undead state and lacking several critical organs, yet it was alive. It found this to be a positive development and mooed before standing up and walking out of the hall, adding an undead, partially eaten cow to the collection of critters wandering the school.

At this, Malal chuckled with a death rattle like sound before he turned back to Yuzuki, whom he did find to be quite interesting in a multitude of ways.
"So Yuzuki, you have any need of a servant with no personal needs and is incapable of being worked to death?" Malal asked her as he gestured to the group of skeletons behind him, who were now in an arm wrestling tournament between themselves.
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"

Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.


Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"

"Because your dad's a whore."

"...He died a week ago."

"Of syphilis, I bet."

Best Gif on the internet.

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Ameriganastan
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 52670
Founded: Jul 01, 2008
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Ameriganastan » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:34 pm

Amon and Friends wrote:
Ameriganastan wrote:Laz just stood there, scratching his head.

"Wait...what just happened? Was that a no? Feh, good riddance. I can find other suitable females. Like...ah, that one will do. HEY! LESBIAN WITH THE FLUFFY TAIL!

Laz yelled across the room at Yuzuki.

"Wanna be my mascot!?"

Pierre closed his eyes and facepalmed.

"Lazarian, she's a TEACHER. A freaking TEACHER. And we don't even know if she's a lesbian!"

He sighed. Laz...was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"Why can't we just talk to the normal-ish-looking chicks? What about the hippie? Or the fish-girl?"

"Well...she seems like one. I mean, what female demon wouldn't be in awe at the sight of a handsome son of a boar demon like me? I'm a total catch. Plus, she's basically having her tail fellated by that other girl. But fine, if it will get you to cease your complaining, we shall talk to one of the normal ones. Lead me to this fish girl."
The Incompetent Critic
DENVER BRONCOS fan
Eric Lumen: Ultimate Chad
Force of nature.
The Ameri Train.
The Ameri song
Tsundere Ameri.
HulkAmeri
Ameri goes to court.
Universal Constant
Edward Richtofen wrote:Ameri's so tough that he criticized an Insane Asylum and was promptly let out

Ameri does the impossible.
Fire the Ameri.
Sinovet wrote:Ameri's like Honey badger. He don't give a fuck.

Krazakistan wrote: He is a force of negativity for the sake of negativity

Onocarcass wrote:Trying to change Ameri, is like trying to drag a 2 ton block of lead with your d**k.

Immoren wrote:When Ameri says something is shit it's good and when Ameri says some thing is good it's great. *nods*

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Nationstatelandsville
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 70969
Founded: Apr 27, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Nationstatelandsville » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:36 pm

AETEN II wrote:
Rupudska wrote:
Again, Yuzuki shrugged, puffing her pipe. "I've got no problem with it, so long as you don't pull on it. You haven't earned enough of my trust to get to pull on it." She puffed several more times, thinking of the list of people she kept in her car she allowed to pull on it. It was surprisingly long, but nowhere near as long as the 5-and-a-half megabyte list of her sexual conquests, kept on her computer. "Just don't pet it too much, you'll turn me on."

"That would be an absolute shame now wouldn't?" Malal joked as he then cut up the Boar's head into headcheese and started eating the cubes, one by one, and swallowing them whole. He then however turned to Lewis and snapped his fingers, turning the chunk of meat Lewis was eating into concrete.
"I don't take kindly to mortals who believe themselves superior to something that can suck their soul out of their body. Or I could always kill you in the most painful way I can think of, then reanimate your corpse and do it again. I look the way I do because I am the son of Hel, goddess of the Underworld. It is also unwise to upset a Necromancer." Malal said as he then reanimated the cow that the roast was taken from- the poor creature was quite startled at finding itself in its current undead state and lacking several critical organs, yet it was alive. It found this to be a positive development and mooed before standing up and walking out of the hall, adding an undead, partially eaten cow to the collection of critters wandering the school.

At this, Malal chuckled with a death rattle like sound before he turned back to Yuzuki, whom he did find to be quite interesting in a multitude of ways.
"So Yuzuki, you have any need of a servant with no personal needs and is incapable of being worked to death?" Malal asked her as he gestured to the group of skeletons behind him, who were now in an arm wrestling tournament between themselves.


"My dad was a lumberjack," Lewis said simply, "But I guess running the Underworld's cool, too. Must be pretty dull, though. I don't imagine there aren't many bars in Hell."

Lewis continued eating, failing to see Malal had just threatened him. Or perhaps, and this was much more likely, he did notice, but just didn't give a shit.

"And, anyways," he suddenly began, picking his teeth with his fingernail, "I'm not even sure I have a soul. I mean, if I did, I probably would have died about a hundred and thirty years ago. But I don't know. I've never had a... what do you they call it? Colonoscopy? Nah, that can't be right. Ultrasound? Yeah! Yeah, never had one of those."

He took a swig from a flask of bourbon he always carried.

"So, what do you teach, Son of Hel?" he asked, "Hey, by the way, that's an awesome name for a Bruce Willis movie."
Last edited by Nationstatelandsville on Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Then I was fertilized and grew wise;
From a word to a word I was led to a word,
From a work to a work I was led to a work."
- Odin, Hávamál 138-141, the Poetic Edda, as translated by Dan McCoy.

I enjoy meta-humor and self-deprecation. Annoying, right?

Goodbye.

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Amon and Friends
Diplomat
 
Posts: 717
Founded: Jun 18, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Amon and Friends » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:43 pm

Ameriganastan wrote:
Amon and Friends wrote:Pierre closed his eyes and facepalmed.

"Lazarian, she's a TEACHER. A freaking TEACHER. And we don't even know if she's a lesbian!"

He sighed. Laz...was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"Why can't we just talk to the normal-ish-looking chicks? What about the hippie? Or the fish-girl?"

"Well...she seems like one. I mean, what female demon wouldn't be in awe at the sight of a handsome son of a boar demon like me? I'm a total catch. Plus, she's basically having her tail fellated by that other girl. But fine, if it will get you to cease your complaining, we shall talk to one of the normal ones. Lead me to this fish girl."

Pierre looked around.

"Ey, where'd she go? She's gone now. Maybe she went down that way."

He walked over to the hallway, and looked towards the dormitories. One of the doors was slightly open. He gestured for Laz to follow him, and he sprinted down the corridor. Approaching the door, he threw it open.

Suddenly, he was in a room which was a pool of water...and he staring at a mermaid. However, this wasn't your average "woman with fish-tail". This looked like some horrific blend between a woman and a fish. It had gills on it's chest, and it had fins instead of limbs. He had seen a lot of things in his 17 years, but that was just nasty. It appeared to be sleeping. He shrieked, and slammed the door shut, bolting the opposite direction down the hallway.

"Never mind!" he yelled. "Never mind, never mind, never mind! Forget I said anything about the fish-girl, Laz. You can just hit on the lesbian if you want. I think I'll just...er, eat something."

He made a disgusted looking face, and then muttered to himself.

"Ew."

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Nightkill the Emperor
Post Kaiser
 
Posts: 88776
Founded: Dec 28, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:45 pm

Crowley glanced at EVE. "Hello darling." Insert rape face here. "So you got plugged back in? Good to hear." he said, wasting no time with the formalities. In Crowley's mind, they tended to be pointless. He generally knew who you were, and if he didn't who gives a fuck? It was just important that you knew who he was. He nodded to the robot girl. "So, what do you need? If you're asking whether this unit has a soul, I can't help you there." he said, going off to his own office to have a few drinks. He liked walking at times. Teleporting all the time was impractical anyways.

He sat down at his desk, pouring some two hundred or so year old wine into a glass for himself. He didn't bother offering any to the robot- it'd be a waste of good wine. One should always keep care of their wine. It was one of the principles Crowley abided by. "So." he said, having made himself comfortable in his chair. It was a swirly chair too. With cushions and an armrest. Enjoy immortality in comfort.
-----------------------------------------------
Minh was rather annoyed. He had just been clearing out some of the mutated rabbits and various other creatures that ended up crawling the hallways. As the biology teacher here, the variety here could be very useful in some cases, but sometimes it ended up being just annoying. And by annoying, he meant possibly fatal. Crowley may have held himself effectively above the laws of the UK, the UN, physics and sanity, but Minh believed in not pushing the boundries too far.

Minh walked into the mess hall. He generally accepted anything that occurred here. The staff and the students were all crazy or headed there. Minh knew very well he was also crazy by now- he still worked here. That was a good measure of one's insanity.

He sat down next to Lewis, largely because she was a fellow staff member and not trying to kill anyone yet. "Fucking rabbits." he said as his opening. "Rabbits should all die." Another reason he did- he counted on Lewis to hate things with him.
----------------------------------------------
There was music in all things, even screams of pain. Everyone could find music, if you just looked hard enough. The music of the screams died down a bit, leaving only the music of a gasping angel.

"You're a monster." Gabriel said, nailed to a cross. He was fully aware of the joke here and that his capturers probably thought it was bloody hilarious. They didn't need the cross and such- other methods of torture would work- but it entertained them.

His torturer walked out, grinning widely. It would have been a nice face if it hadn't been entirely covered in scars. Scars everywhere of all shapes and sizes. He chuckled. "Monster's a bit strong of a term, Gabriel." he cheerfully told the angel. "Besides, I'm just a servant. I have to torture you, even if I dislike it. However, here's the good thing...I like it very much."

The torturer pulled out a sword. "A cleric's sword. A holy man blessed this. It will never kill anyone, no matter how much you hurt them. It will only bring them close to death but never quite there....how holy. Now then, angel Gabriel, you will tell me what I wish to know. Then my friends and I will work on Earth, killing Crowley as he deserves for doing this to me." the torturer said, gesturing to his scarred face. "Then we will burn Heaven and kill Michael. Then you will die."

"I'm not telling you a word."

"You'll change your mind. I'm renowned for being persuasive."

The music of the screams began again.
Hi! I'm Khan, your local misanthropic Indian.
I wear teal, blue & pink for Swith.
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Tiami is cool.
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Metanih
Senator
 
Posts: 3888
Founded: Jan 21, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Metanih » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:49 pm

As interesting as the raccoon tail was, (very, very interesting) Rayne got away from it after a few moments of lovingly stroking it. The thing that pulled her away from the tail was the sad cat-girl in the corner. She had seemed so happy. As Rayne made her way over, she saw the girl appear to go to sleep, which was the epitome of bad timing and unfortunate. Sad people were almost always up for hugs, and Rayne could get plenty of nourishment from them. Besides that, it often made the sad person feel better to be hugged. Rayne was conflicted as she approached the sleeping girl. Would she wake her up, or let her sleep?
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0303461/

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Constaniana
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 25822
Founded: Mar 10, 2012
Democratic Socialists

Postby Constaniana » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:49 pm

Vareiln wrote:Fel found even more interesting things.
Lazrian and his friend approached that... cat-girl.
Most interesting indeed...
Lazrian's friend was behaving erratic, the cat-girl was hyperactive, and Lazrian seemed unfazed.
He watched from a distance, and thought of approaching them, but decided against it.

Edward noticed the guy who looked somewhat bored, and since Edward himself lacked something to do also, he got up and walked over to the other person. "Hi I'm Edward, who are you?" He asked. Eddie wasn't always the best at starting conversations, but at least he was pleasant about it.
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AETEN II
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 12949
Founded: Aug 31, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby AETEN II » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:51 pm

Nationstatelandsville wrote:
AETEN II wrote:"That would be an absolute shame now wouldn't?" Malal joked as he then cut up the Boar's head into headcheese and started eating the cubes, one by one, and swallowing them whole. He then however turned to Lewis and snapped his fingers, turning the chunk of meat Lewis was eating into concrete.
"I don't take kindly to mortals who believe themselves superior to something that can suck their soul out of their body. Or I could always kill you in the most painful way I can think of, then reanimate your corpse and do it again. I look the way I do because I am the son of Hel, goddess of the Underworld. It is also unwise to upset a Necromancer." Malal said as he then reanimated the cow that the roast was taken from- the poor creature was quite startled at finding itself in its current undead state and lacking several critical organs, yet it was alive. It found this to be a positive development and mooed before standing up and walking out of the hall, adding an undead, partially eaten cow to the collection of critters wandering the school.

At this, Malal chuckled with a death rattle like sound before he turned back to Yuzuki, whom he did find to be quite interesting in a multitude of ways.
"So Yuzuki, you have any need of a servant with no personal needs and is incapable of being worked to death?" Malal asked her as he gestured to the group of skeletons behind him, who were now in an arm wrestling tournament between themselves.


"My dad was a lumberjack," Lewis said simply, "But I guess running the Underworld's cool, too. Must be pretty dull, though. I don't imagine there aren't many bars in Hell."

Lewis continued eating, failing to see Malal had just threatened him. Or perhaps, and this was much more likely, he did notice, but just didn't give a shit.

"And, anyways," he suddenly began, picking his teeth with his fingernail, "I'm not even sure I have a soul. I mean, if I did, I probably would have died about a hundred and thirty years ago. But I don't know. I've never had a... what do you they call it? Colonoscopy? Nah, that can't be right. Ultrasound? Yeah! Yeah, never had one of those."

He took a swig from a flask of bourbon he always carried.

"So, what do you teach, Son of Hel?" he asked, "Hey, by the way, that's an awesome name for a Bruce Willis movie."

"Necromancy." Malal hissed as he finished his cup of Ale and motioned to a skeleton to get it re-filled.
"With blood such as mine, it comes naturally. While I certainly do not rival the power my mother has, or any other god of the Underworld, my skill in necromancy certainly makes me one of the greatest masters in the mortal world. It also makes me a suitable medic for the school, seeing that necromancy combined with healing powers allows me to force almost anyone back to life. It seems that it will be useful as well, seeing that the student body of this school looks... foolhardy. I'm surprised that such hormone-filled youth with such powers mixed with alcohol hasn't already resulted in a death." Malal remarked, his heated opinion of Lewis cooling as the conversation drew on. He didn't take kindly to people attacking his appearance. It certainly had its drawbacks, but it made him resistant to most mortal weaponry. Ah... the look upon the faces of those Nazis when they discovered bullets bounced off his exoskeleton- that was priceless.

"You also have a soul. Trust me, I've spent my fair share of time with the undead, and they have certain, traits, that seperate them from the living. You have a soul. You just probably have some sort of lucky mutation combined with a lack of morals. You humans do seem to have a knack for mutating. It's almost a skill." Malal finished before he then turned back to Yuzuki again- these distractions were getting annoying.
"Quod Vult, Valde Valt"

Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.


Nationstatelandsville wrote:"Why'd the chicken cross the street?"

"Because your dad's a whore."

"...He died a week ago."

"Of syphilis, I bet."

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Nationstatelandsville
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Postby Nationstatelandsville » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:55 pm

Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Minh was rather annoyed. He had just been clearing out some of the mutated rabbits and various other creatures that ended up crawling the hallways. As the biology teacher here, the variety here could be very useful in some cases, but sometimes it ended up being just annoying. And by annoying, he meant possibly fatal. Crowley may have held himself effectively above the laws of the UK, the UN, physics and sanity, but Minh believed in not pushing the boundries too far.

Minh walked into the mess hall. He generally accepted anything that occurred here. The staff and the students were all crazy or headed there. Minh knew very well he was also crazy by now- he still worked here. That was a good measure of one's insanity.

He sat down next to Lewis, largely because she was a fellow staff member and not trying to kill anyone yet. "Fucking rabbits." he said as his opening. "Rabbits should all die." Another reason he did- he counted on Lewis to hate things with him.


"Rabbits are fucking assholes," Lewis agreed with a nod, "I once owned a cabbage patch back when I lived in California for a few months in the 30's. Fucking bastards ate them all before I got to throw them at beatniks."

He ripped another piece of meat off the roast and took a massive bite, not bothering to swallow or stop chewing while he continued.

"Not that I would eat cabbages anyways," he said, "'cause vegetables are for pussies. But seriously, have you ever met a beatnik? They were like the hippies of the 1800's."

One might try and point out that beatniks didn't exist in the 1800's, nor the 1930's, but then one would get a face full of Lewis Jameson's fist.

"What's your name, rabbit-hunter?" he asked.

AETEN II wrote:
Nationstatelandsville wrote:
"My dad was a lumberjack," Lewis said simply, "But I guess running the Underworld's cool, too. Must be pretty dull, though. I don't imagine there aren't many bars in Hell."

Lewis continued eating, failing to see Malal had just threatened him. Or perhaps, and this was much more likely, he did notice, but just didn't give a shit.

"And, anyways," he suddenly began, picking his teeth with his fingernail, "I'm not even sure I have a soul. I mean, if I did, I probably would have died about a hundred and thirty years ago. But I don't know. I've never had a... what do you they call it? Colonoscopy? Nah, that can't be right. Ultrasound? Yeah! Yeah, never had one of those."

He took a swig from a flask of bourbon he always carried.

"So, what do you teach, Son of Hel?" he asked, "Hey, by the way, that's an awesome name for a Bruce Willis movie."

"Necromancy." Malal hissed as he finished his cup of Ale and motioned to a skeleton to get it re-filled.
"With blood such as mine, it comes naturally. While I certainly do not rival the power my mother has, or any other god of the Underworld, my skill in necromancy certainly makes me one of the greatest masters in the mortal world. It also makes me a suitable medic for the school, seeing that necromancy combined with healing powers allows me to force almost anyone back to life. It seems that it will be useful as well, seeing that the student body of this school looks... foolhardy. I'm surprised that such hormone-filled youth with such powers mixed with alcohol hasn't already resulted in a death." Malal remarked, his heated opinion of Lewis cooling as the conversation drew on. He didn't take kindly to people attacking his appearance. It certainly had its drawbacks, but it made him resistant to most mortal weaponry. Ah... the look upon the faces of those Nazis when they discovered bullets bounced off his exoskeleton- that was priceless.

"You also have a soul. Trust me, I've spent my fair share of time with the undead, and they have certain, traits, that seperate them from the living. You have a soul. You just probably have some sort of lucky mutation combined with a lack of morals. You humans do seem to have a knack for mutating. It's almost a skill." Malal finished before he then turned back to Yuzuki again- these distractions were getting annoying.


"Necromancy?" Lewis asked before swallowing the meat mush his mighty (and brown) teeth had produced, "Is that some kind of algebra? I mean, I know. I'm a math teacher. Just making sure you're authentic. You know, there are a lot of fake math teachers out there, just clamoring for math teacher jobs. Mainly Mexicans, the rat bastards. But, yeah, they want in on all of our math teacher sex."

Lewis nodded, adjusting his sunglasses and wiping his mouth off with a hankie he kept in his left pocket.
Last edited by Nationstatelandsville on Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Then I was fertilized and grew wise;
From a word to a word I was led to a word,
From a work to a work I was led to a work."
- Odin, Hávamál 138-141, the Poetic Edda, as translated by Dan McCoy.

I enjoy meta-humor and self-deprecation. Annoying, right?

Goodbye.

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Vareiln
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Founded: Aug 09, 2012
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Postby Vareiln » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:55 pm

Constaniana wrote:
Vareiln wrote:Fel found even more interesting things.
Lazrian and his friend approached that... cat-girl.
Most interesting indeed...
Lazrian's friend was behaving erratic, the cat-girl was hyperactive, and Lazrian seemed unfazed.
He watched from a distance, and thought of approaching them, but decided against it.

Edward noticed the guy who looked somewhat bored, and since Edward himself lacked something to do also, he got up and walked over to the other person. "Hi I'm Edward, who are you?" He asked. Eddie wasn't always the best at starting conversations, but at least he was pleasant about it.

Fel blinked underneath his mask when this Edward approached him and addressed him.
"My name is Fel," he said.
Why did he approach me?
"So, eh... How are you?"

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Erinkita
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Founded: Sep 15, 2011
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Postby Erinkita » Tue Aug 14, 2012 8:05 pm

Shissk's room was divided into two parts. The bulk of space was taken up by a sunken pool filled with salt water, which included a filtration system to keep clean water coming in, as well as some rather special bathroom facilites. Off to the side was a small alcove containing Shissk's desk and bookshelf, and other things that needed to stay dry. It could be reached by following the narrow ledge in front of the door, but entering the room and taking more than one step forward would result in falling straight into the pool.

Shissk stripped off her leotard and eased herself into the cool, salty water, feeling the pleasant squishing sensation of her anatomy rearranging as she drifted down to the cement floor. She closed her eyes and forgot about the annoyances of the day. Things would be better, she told herself. She'd get used to these people, and even if she didn't. she wouldn't have to talk to them. Her eyes snapped open as she heard the water-muffled sound of her door opening. Her eyes snapped open and she saw the distorted image of someone standing there, at the edge of the pool. In her room!

He had turned and run by the time she broke the surface, slamming her door behind him. She could hear panicked shouts as he retreated down the hallway. Fuming at this audacity, Shissk opened the door. She considered using her song to get him back here and force an apology, but remembered the admonishment Allan had given her earlier. It also occurred to her she was naked, which was a taboo among surface-dwellers. Shissk settled for a wordless hiss of rage and slammed her door shut, locking it behind her.

EDIT: continuity issues
Last edited by Erinkita on Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:12 am, edited 2 times in total.
Loan me a dragon, I wanna see space.
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Olthar
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Postby Olthar » Tue Aug 14, 2012 8:34 pm

Due to the power of plot convenience, Sari-chan had trouble sleeping and woke up after only a few minutes. Looking up, she saw a girl standing over her and staring at her. A sense of confliction danced about the girl's face, but Sari-chan couldn't begin to guess what it was about. Ignoring it, she popped up and greeted the girl, holding her stuffed animal under one arm.

"Hello!" she cheerfully waved, "I'm Sarina, but you can call me Sari-chan! Everyone does! What's your name? Did you come over to talk with me? Awesome! I was getting bored, anyways! What do you want to talk about?"
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Metanih
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Postby Metanih » Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:03 pm

More than a little shocked by the sudden outburst of energy, but hardly surprised, given how she had acted earlier, Rayne quickly composed herself. "Umm..." She began, and quickly realized how horrible of beginning that was. "You seemed sad, and umm.." It was suddenly rather hard to picture this girl as sad, no matter how sure Rayne was that it had happened minutes before. Stop stuttering, and just answer the question. Seriously, who turned on the awkward switch? First with the raccoon girl with the... chest... and now with the cute cat girl. Rayne blinked a few times, looking ahead. "Hi Sari-chan. I am Rayne."
Nationstates Ninja
Second to Reploid Productions...
Everyone should watch this excellent show, and the movie Serenity.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0303461/

If you don't know me well, talk to me more. I have a DeviantArt account here. http://merin593.deviantart.com
Also, I am a pansexual genderfluid individual. If you don't know what that means, look it up. I deal with enough people asking in real life. . ;)

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Cthulhutu
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Posts: 392
Founded: Aug 03, 2012
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Postby Cthulhutu » Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:10 pm

Suddenly, Crowley vanished. Ivy stared for a moment, gawking.

"Um. Okay. You vanished. Can you still hear me?"

She waved her hands around where Crowley had just been standing. Nothing happened.

"...okay. Maybe I'll just...meet some other people."

She walked over to where two other girls were standing. One had odd cat-like ears on her head, and the other had black hair, with a few white streaks in it. Ivy smiled, waved, and jumped into their conversation. Without asking.

"Hey! I'm Ivy Green. Nice to meet you guys. Who are you? How're you doing?" she said, rather bubbly and enthusiastically.

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Olthar
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Postby Olthar » Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:16 pm

Thinking for a second, Sari-chan burst open with excitement, "I'll call you Raye-Raye-chan!"

She giggled and bounced around before suddenly stopping and whirling around to face Rayne with a look of shock and excitement on her face.

Grabbing the girl's hands, she asked, "I just had a great idea! Do you want to be my roommate, Raye-Raye-chan? I don't have one yet, and it's so boring being alone. We could be the best of friends, and we'd have so much fun together! So, what do you say? You want to do it?"

Sari-chan stared deep into Rayne's eyes with a giant smile on her face, hoping that her new new friend would say yes.
The Second Cataclysm: My New RP

Roll Them Bones: A Guide to Dice RPs

My mommy says I'm special.
Add 37 to my post count for my previous nation.

Copy and paste this into your signature if you're a unique and special individual who won't conform to another person's demands.

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Metanih
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Postby Metanih » Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:24 pm

Rayne, or "Raye-Raye-chan" as the cute cat-girl had dubbed her, looked a little dumbfounded for a moment. The high energy attitude of the girl was something that one really had to see to believe. And her proposal, on being roommates, that required some though. On one hand, there was a chance to spend nights with a cute cat girl, who was, if what Rayne had so far seen, very fun to be around. On the other hand, she would have to learn to respond to the name "Raye-Raye-chan." It was a tough call, but in the end, Rayne found herself nodding. "Of course I would." She said, smiling to the cat-girl.

Rayne found herself hoping she wouldn't have to resort to cat-naps to get enough sleep. With the energy of this girl, a good nights sleep seemed a lost cause.
Nationstates Ninja
Second to Reploid Productions...
Everyone should watch this excellent show, and the movie Serenity.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0303461/

If you don't know me well, talk to me more. I have a DeviantArt account here. http://merin593.deviantart.com
Also, I am a pansexual genderfluid individual. If you don't know what that means, look it up. I deal with enough people asking in real life. . ;)

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Olthar
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Postby Olthar » Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:35 pm

"HOORAY!" Sari-chan exclaimed as she dropped her stuffed cat and jumped at Rayne, embracing her in a tight hug, "This is going to be the best school time ever!"

As Sari-chan was celebrating her acquiring of a roommate, another girl walked up to the two and introduced herself. Letting go of Rayne, Sari-chan turned to this newcomer.

"Hello! Ivy-chan! I'm Sarina, but you can call my Sari-chan! Everyone does! Do you want to be our friend, too? This is so fun! I'm making all sorts of new friends! This is much better than my old schools!"

Jumping at Ivy, Sari-chan hugged her, too, overcome by enthusiasm.
The Second Cataclysm: My New RP

Roll Them Bones: A Guide to Dice RPs

My mommy says I'm special.
Add 37 to my post count for my previous nation.

Copy and paste this into your signature if you're a unique and special individual who won't conform to another person's demands.

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Metanih
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Postby Metanih » Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:40 pm

Wow. So many people. Ok, there were two, but in the past five years, Jamie (She had been Jamie back then.) had only rarely had the chance to talk to people in a civil manner. Before that, she had been quite popular, before everyone realized she was using her power to make people like her. She learned control since then, but it made her feel bad she had used it then, even unconsciously.

"Hey Ivy. I am Rayne, or, if you ask Sari-chan here, Raye-Raye-chan." She said, smiling and nodding toward the enthusiastic cat-girl. This one had a similar attitude, but Rayne doubted anyone had the level of hyperness and bubbliness that Sari-chan managed.
Nationstates Ninja
Second to Reploid Productions...
Everyone should watch this excellent show, and the movie Serenity.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0303461/

If you don't know me well, talk to me more. I have a DeviantArt account here. http://merin593.deviantart.com
Also, I am a pansexual genderfluid individual. If you don't know what that means, look it up. I deal with enough people asking in real life. . ;)

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