Your Reaction to AN's News (III)

[The United Star-Systems]

"So now both the slaves and scammers are working? How odd. Why not, simply, work together to achieve interstellar travel, and then you will have all the resources in the world?"

- Fleet Commander Elena Zharkov

[Freedom Freelandia]

"So now both the slaves and scammers are working? How odd. Why not, simply, work together to achieve interstellar travel, and then you will have all the resources in the world?"

- Fleet Commander Elena Zharkov

No just slaves. The slaves are forced scammers. The scammers mostly handle beatings and chaining workers to desks
/Skip

[Doechland]

Citizens of New Cyrivia in the Neon District protest ban on popular drug Stardust

"See, this is what happens when you let a narcotic get popular before legislating about it. Granted, I don't think it's feasible to actually ban it if it's so popular mass protests are being held in its favor, but if you'd scrambled earlier, the government of New Cyrivia could have at least properly regulated the narcotic: either to gradually phase it out or to turn it into a new source of income for the government. It is, after all, pretty much exactly what we did with alcohol and tobacco."

Alfred Schneider, news correspondent

[Cavirfi]

New Italian law overturns Edict of Exclusion: the Pope will be allowed to set foot in Italian soil for the first time a hundred years

"First time in a hundred years? Wow, man, assuming the Pope was confined to the Vatican Hill, that must be crazy not being able to leave your hill for a hundred years, like seriously if the Pope was indeed confined to the Vatican Hill, was the Italian Government just waiting for the Papacy to either come to agree to something or let the Cardinals of Rome just slowly die out in a long siege? If the Pope was exiled somewhere else, then why did the Italian Government think that would be a good idea given how many Catholics live in the Rome and Lazio area. I don't understand Italian politics, man."

- Random historian in Barnumberg

---

BN: My news is in my sig, feel free to choose any headline but please no one-liners. Thank you.

[Bakerby-on-Tyde]

Lambda League heading in 2024 Crabaiaian general election opinion polls with 81% of respondents declaring their intention to vote for them

'The Lambda League seems to be a strong opponent for other political parties, so i have several recommendations for the opposition.

1:Over exaggerate everything they do that serves a purpose to your goals, the greatest lie is best served on a plate of truth.

2:Trap them into making risky maneuvres, anything will do, from saying something stupid into paying a prostitute, essentially anything to rile up the idiots. Stupidity works best in large numbers.

3:Kantai Kessen, defeat them decisively in every front, every speech, every debate, every campaign, put pressure to the league as much and as long as possible. Those who have a weak will gets ill.

and finally, 4:Buy your way, people love money, let's face it, if someone offers you 20,000 you'll probably accept it, and there's a chance they will vote for you, if they didn't then it's your fault, you did not write the promises in cheque. Greed loves the rich.

So yeah, those who want their enemy party dead should do this steps, also, pay me.' -A Tydesman in Pisby solving calculations and looks like he just drank five bottles of cake wine for breakfast

for bn: you can react to multiple news in my two news outlets

[Cavirfi]

Lambda League heading in 2024 Crabaiaian general election opinion polls with 81% of respondents declaring their intention to vote for them

'The Lambda League seems to be a strong opponent for other political parties, so i have several recommendations for the opposition.

1:Over exaggerate everything they do that serves a purpose to your goals, the greatest lie is best served on a plate of truth.

2:Trap them into making risky maneuvres, anything will do, from saying something stupid into paying a prostitute, essentially anything to rile up the idiots. Stupidity works best in large numbers.

3:Kantai Kessen, defeat them decisively in every front, every speech, every debate, every campaign, put pressure to the league as much and as long as possible. Those who have a weak will gets ill.

and finally, 4:Buy your way, people love money, let's face it, if someone offers you 20,000 you'll probably accept it, and there's a chance they will vote for you, if they didn't then it's your fault, you did not write the promises in cheque. Greed loves the rich.

So yeah, those who want their enemy party dead should do this steps, also, pay me.' -A Tydesman in Pisby solving calculations and looks like he just drank five bottles of cake wine for breakfast

for bn: you can react to multiple news in my two news outlets

The election will be on May 21 (10 seats in Parliament) and May 28 (the remaining 90 seats in Parliament), you have to realise that it's a bit too late for the other parties to turn things around.

/skipme do AN

[Tangatarehua]

Bureau-Master of Bureau of Labour Calls Overtime an 'Act of Sabotage'

"I can't imagine someone from our government ever making such a statement and if one did, they would probably be criticised harshly for appearing to advocate for laziness.

Here, the prevalent view is that paid overtime would be an act of economic sabotage as it would lower productivity and raise wage costs, but to advocate limits on how long someone could work for...? Well I suppose they are a very different culture to ours."

- Anahera Roimata, a 24 year old office worker from Tamaki, who typically works 60+ hours per week.

[Allied Iran]

"It might just be me, but I think tricking tens, maybe hundreds or even thousands, of people into feasting on the long pork should get you a little more than just a $100 fine. Try life in prison, maybe? And a few million dollars in fines?"

Navid Parsania, student in Teheran

[Independent Republic of Boldonia]

Why has the government withdrawn from Qatar? Nationalists hold protests against 'lack of responsibility and transparency to the Persian people!'

"Withdrawing from a conflict with a weaker nation is something only reserved for the Americans or the Russians. Qatar is quite literally just on the opposite side of the Persian Gulf, if it is a threat it is a threat that needs to be dealt with, there's no getting around it. It's right on your doorstep, you both A have the capability to take them out if they truly are weaker than Persia and B have to take them out because they pose a serious threat to all Persian activities in the Gulf named after it. The Nationalists are right, maybe it should be called the Qatari Gulf instead."
- Resident of Logansport, SCL

---

BN don't do the one about Boldonia Arms please, I made two whole other news articles please stop reacting to just the first one.

[General TN]

Boldonian Maritime Corporation Continues to Grow, New Ship Ordered From Saint-Nazaire

..... a lovely Corporation?.. I love those!.... it's good you think of the rich folks.... te...he.... they're the best... help the economy.... the more big companies the better!.... screw those..... communists.... their not getting the right.... idea.... no no.... and don't mind any... things they do.... even if their illegal.....
- TN, cruel morbidly obese dictator of its nation

A monstrous scene - Interview with Indonesian citizen
Reporters were able to get an interview with an Indonesia citizen, who wished to remain anonymous. The man had been in Jakarta when TN arrived, and was forced to hide for his life for several days before managing to escape. When asked to describe his experience, he said "First I heard the screams, then the men and guns came, and atop a large throne, what I first thought was a large fleshy blob suddenly grabbed a citizen, and started eating them. It was a sight that made me sick. Later, I got another glimpse, at the heart of the city it has set up its throne, with the men surrounding it and bringing the poor souls who had been caught. It was a greedy thing, I thought I had witnessed the Sin of Gluttony itself!"
TN continues to devour and capture citizens, and the fate of the nation is assumed to be that of the Korea's

BN, news above.

[Lemueria]

Indonesia in chaos - While TN stuffs its mouth with the poor citizens | TN’s party ends, with over four failed assassination attempts happening in a span of a week

A monstrous scene - Interview with Indonesian citizen

OOC: TN Indonesia alt when!?

"This is, look even we are aristocrats but this is another level. Cannibalism is a serious offense, these look like some barbarians! But about the party, that just seems like the Russian Empire, it's aristocrats kept partying and it let to a revolution and a horrible inefficient superpower, but we managed to get out of that. If this 'TN' continues eating it's opposition, I don't think that's possible for this poor nation though. Truly sad. Though this newspapers are probably going to just leave that Indonesian citizen to die, truly despicable, and communists would just capture him because of discrimination, this is why a hybrid is the most efficient."
- Lord-Emperor Velkintote II

[Khoikhoia]

Lemuerian delegate to the CSL found "acting weirdly"

"Pfft.. diplomacy, international organisations. Such inefficient concepts. I'll bet you this guy is on heavy drugs and heavy drink. That don't happen to civilised people, and you know it's true. But apparently we need it. Like medicine, right? Good for you, bad thing. So what are you gonna do? Fire him? Obviously. It ain't like it wain't his fault. Get someone competent to do the job, yeah. That's right."

- Agent Cobras

True Chief of the Central Intelligence Control

---

News is in my sig, it helps if you read all to explain the current situation. No one-liners, please. Cheers!

[Greater Kastovia]

Lemuerian delegate to the CSL found "acting weirdly"

“Acting weirdly, eh? I have some experience with that. I remember when my predecessor Antonin showed me a picture of Anatoli face down on a footpath after drunkenly falling over outside Domino’s Pizza… Even though they do deliveries pretty much anywhere in the country. Hell, they’ll even climb Erewhon if they have to! They’re certainly intrepid. Where was I? Ah, yes; weirdness from politicians is an increasingly common problem. That’s why I just focus on what I like. I swear if I see one more :3 emoticon I’m going to drown myself in Lake Noroshev next time I go to Mathilda’s Palace” - Vasili Borisov, Leader of the SDPP and President of Greater Kastovia
Ninja’d

Most folks think revolutions are necessarily left-wing and communist, but that ain't right. What we've seen here in Khoikhoia, and what we've seen in many Latin American countries, is one hell of a revolution. One dedicated to sending communism to Planet Pluto!

“Yes, but it is right-wing revolutionaries that lead to the rise of the far-left. The aftermath of Nazi Germany was communism, the aftermath of the Soviet Union was fascism and ultranationalism. There is no winning in politics, the only way to stop such dramatic swings in ideology is to stick with the middle ground. We cater to both sides - The liberals get their freedoms, and the conservatives get lesser taxes and increased law enforcement. Everybody wins” - Nikolai Petrovski, Leader of the Liberal Conservative Alliance, delivering a speech at his party’s annual conference in response to the news

[Billyabna]

Hey! Just a quick question:

How do I make a box continue right?

/skipme

[Doechland]

Hey! Just a quick question:

How do I make a box continue right?

/skipme

You use the [pre][/pre] tags

State Duma votes unanimously to impose term limits on all National Assembly members incl the Prime Minister, current Prime Minister criticises the Upper Chamber for not consulting his legislature first

"Man now I really want to know how your political system works. State Duma votes 'unanimously' to do something? Even on another branch of the legislature? How does that happen, I don't think any real legislative body has had everyone vote for or against something. There's always someone who opposes... and at any rate, if the State Duma can unilaterally impose term limits on the National Assembly without the agreement of that body and the PM, I'd very well say you have far more crucial issues to be dealing with."

Alfred Schneider, news correspondent

[General TN]

Imperial Navy bombs North Somaliland, kills State President and many others, leaves everyone homeless, after local authorities detained former Reichstag representative

....ooh... bombs!... I like bombs.... leaving people homeless?... even funner!..... killing the President?... oh....I would have loved to watch this..... te....he.... so entertaining.... I honestly don't even care what they did..... some thing some thing.... Reichstag?... sounds nasty..... good thing they're gone... now... where was I... oh... bombs!... te...he...
- TN, cruel obese dictator of its nation

A monstrous scene - Interview with Indonesian citizen
Reporters were able to get an interview with an Indonesia citizen, who wished to remain anonymous. The man had been in Jakarta when TN arrived, and was forced to hide for his life for several days before managing to escape. When asked to describe his experience, he said "First I heard the screams, then the men and guns came, and atop a large throne, what I first thought was a large fleshy blob suddenly grabbed a citizen, and started eating them. It was a sight that made me sick. Later, I got another glimpse, at the heart of the city it has set up its throne, with the men surrounding it and bringing the poor souls who had been caught. It was a greedy thing, I thought I had witnessed the Sin of Gluttony itself!"
TN continues to devour and capture citizens, and the fate of the nation is assumed to be that of the Korea's

BN, news above.[/quote]

[Wisteria and Surrounding Territories]

"What? C'mon, this is fake news! Are you serious?! This... THING is horrifying! How have no other nations stopped it? I should get The Collie to use some of his nukes!" -President Jax Coolidge

---

BN:
My News

NO ONE-LINERS!!!

[Equai]

Collie Steals Nukes!

First things first... How do you achieve that in the first place? I would assume that Wisteria knows how to handle the security of such dangerous and expensive weapon. That being said is it known why did Collie stole them from Wisteria? Is it some kind-a prank wars or is this going to actually lead to something more dark and dangerous? I hopwe that the situation got resolved peacefully and no actual war and potential nuclear armaggedon happens.

However it is funny that Wisteria is trying to go Albanian route and just build fallout shelters all over the country.
-Kaitlyn C., Socialist Prospekt

[Proud Sodom and Lucky Gomorrah]

Collie Steals Nukes!

First things first... How do you achieve that in the first place? I would assume that Wisteria knows how to handle the security of such dangerous and expensive weapon. That being said is it known why did Collie stole them from Wisteria? Is it some kind-a prank wars or is this going to actually lead to something more dark and dangerous? I hopwe that the situation got resolved peacefully and no actual war and potential nuclear armaggedon happens.

However it is funny that Wisteria is trying to go Albanian route and just build fallout shelters all over the country.
-Kaitlyn C., Socialist Prospekt

"Containment can and never will work, and will only serve to ideologically isolate and radicalize the one you mean to contain. This is basic geopolitics. You should engage the problem, not contain it."-A Sodomite Armchair Geopolitican on reddit.

sig

[Freedom Freelandia]

Holy crap, this is distopian even by Freelandian levels! (Sorry, but I don't know what else to write)

---

200 people died in a Freelandian labour camp in the past 3 hours alone. 2 died from coal mining accidents, 30 died from being beaten "for refusing to work" whilst having the bubonic plague at government endorced internet scam call centres, 40 died from heatstroke and/or exchaustion at the same centres, 50 died when picking crops, 20 died from accidents when testing nukes and the rest died from landmines trying to flee Freelandia and the rest died from miscalenous other ailments. Naturally, the propoganda arm of the Freedom Patrol (i.e. police) had to cover it up, though these kinds of occurances are so common, it's very rare for anyone to find out about it anyway, even though that was an unusually high amount.

20 of the deseased were sent to labour camps for trying to flee from slavery, 40 for trying to flee from Freelandia, 30 for being family members of people eho stole cars from their slave or serf owners and their (masters prosecuted them rather than dealing with it internally), 10 for accidently wondering into a nuke silo, 3 because their family member was a concscript in the Freedom Patrol and refused to arrest someone for frivilous reasons, 2 for murder, 1 for attempting internet fraud against a Freelandian (as opposed to a foreigner, which is government endorced), 1 for rape 1 serf for allegedly stoning his owner's private jet during a drunk escapade, 1 was for the crime of being the wife of a Feedom Patrol conscript who took the side of a poor person in a car accident when the poor person was driving normally and the rich person was drunk (the Freedom Patrol conscript himself was tortured and publically executed) and the rest for miscellaneous other crimes

[Doechland]

"It took me a while to read through all of that™ and, reading through the second paragraph, I thought the 'government' had sent them to the prison camps after their death. Normally I'd say that wouldn't have made sense, but given everything I read through... well I mean at least Freedom Freelandia™ is honest. Not quite sure what the point of propaganda even is in a setting like that anyway. What're the serfs going to do if they 'learn' the government is oppressing them? try to escape more than they already do?"

Alfred Schneider, news correspondent

[Khoikhoia]

Imperial Navy bombs North Somaliland, kills State President and many others, leaves everyone homeless, after local authorities detained former Reichstag representative

"Propaganda, anyone? Fair game, fair play. It's impossible to kill that many people, because Russia simply wouldn't ignore it, and their spies would get their hands on this, no matter how many people you shoot. You also can't leave everyone homeless by bombing just four cities, which is usually the domain of the Air Force - that's why Khoikhoia doesn't do it anymore, those high no-gooders can't get a plane off the ground. But, yes, any major navy would understandably have ships there. and I'd say you have a right to be angry at an aggressor. But this, this is one of the most blatant war crimes in history, my Pap wouldn't have done it in Angola or Mozambique^[n1]. Oh well, as long as you leave me be..."

- Admiral Sam Everton

Commander of the Armed Forces, Dictator President of Khoikhoia

[n1] - Refers to Admiral Everton's father, Admiral John Everton, the Commander of the Khoikhois Navy and Armed Forces for a good part of the 1974-1991 Khoikhois involvement in the Mozambican and Angolan civil wars. Admiral Everton Sr. led a destructive campaign of bombing and shelling cities, especially coastal ones, and consolidated much military power in the Navy, which prompted backlash and removal of those powers after.

---

News. No one-liners, please. Cheers!

[Independent Republic of Boldonia]

"You know if you're going to place the military in charge of things at least be somewhat subtle about it. He's not Lt. Gen. Henrique de Cravos, General of the Special Forces Northeast Division, he's citizen Henrique de Cravos, Minister of Foreign Affairs. Same for the rest of these people, unless they're well know or easily identified don't list out their previous jobs, lie about their origins. "They were always politicians, you've just never seen them before because they're... um... advisors. They used to just advise they weren't really that public." You know watching Khoikhoia is really a lesson on how to and how not to start a coup...
...makes me start thinking of home..."
- George Wesson, LDP "Presidential Opposition" State Representative from the Boldonian Capital Territory

---

BN no one has seriously reacted to the one about Micronesia so I'd be thankful if you did that one, but if you find one of the other ones more interesting I'm not going to stop you.

[Freedom Freelandia]

Ha, it seems weird that the metropol is more opposed to adding more states than the supposed "colonies", but I guess that's political correctness for you, when the ethnic majority are offended on behalf of the ethnic minorities. In either case, it may be time for a referendum

---

OOC: Non-Propoganda Version (obviously the IC propoganda version is different)
A record low of 6 people were sent to labour camps in the past 4 hours. These are the reasons:
1 & 2. Being the wife.and 10 year old son of a Freedom Patrol conscript who aided in the escape of 25 slaves out of Freelandia using Freedom Patrol helicopters. He was arrested upon returning to get his wife and son. The wife was sent to an arms manufacturing facility with no air conditioning, no medical care 16 hours days a bucket to pass around as a toilet, whilst the son was sent to a coal mine. The Freedom Patrol officer himself was publically executed with his organs and possessions sold to pay for the compensation for the missing slaves
3. A woman who tried to flee from slavery was sent to a call centre with similar conditions to the arms factory. This is a government endorced call centre where she is chained to her desk (because it was worried that she would use her cholera as an excuse to stop working), forced to try to perform internet fraud on foreigners. Ironically, she was better off under slavery
4. Her husband, who was sent to a forced labour farm where venomous snakes and disease are rampart. Naturally, there is no medical care
5. A man who raped a woman was sent to a uranium mine, spending 18 hours mining uranium for nukes. The man claimed he was innocent but couldn't afford a fair trial. The woman bribed the Freedom Patrol conscripts to find him guilty, and he couldn't afford to defend his innocents
6. A Freedom Patrol conscript from the afforemention case who tried to fight for the innocence of the afforementioned man after he had been declared guilty. He was sent to an internet scam call centre (the "crime" was threating to expose corruption in the force, more than anything else)

[Arklatravar-Istertia]

Heh. So they've sent like what, less than 10 people to labor camps? Why so little? We send like, thousands of sexual minorities to both labor and concentration camps so that they can be put to use and not just stand there harming our youth. I believe that they should send even more people to labor camps.
- Alexei Visalovich, news correspondent of the Arklatravar-Istertia Today

news in sig (once again, NATO in this universe is America, Canada, Beneluxia, Portugalicia, France, Spain and the Union of Anglo-Saxonia.)