Your Reaction to AN's News (III)

[Aurevbush]

"Murdering people for leaving the country?!?!? I can only fathom the irony within this Freelandia-Free-sh Idk...If they need a spot to go to, Aurevbush is open; we've got about 18,000 left to max our quota. Please come!"

-President Saul Sesson

[Chickennaise]

Uproar on Social Media as President Sesson dismisses Army General Peter McShein citing, "insubordination and unprofessional conduct" as reasons. Gen McShein has not yet commented but sympathizers say "little man" should be the least insulting thing the President has ever heard.

"Well, I'm torn here; insubordination in a military context is pretty serious business and all, but isn't this guy the head of state? What happened here, exactly? Was this actual insubordination, or did General McShein just say something that Sesson didn't want to hear? I would not be surprised at all if that was the case! Also, how tall is the guy? If you're short, just own it! I'm not even five feet tall, and I get by!"

- Sela Sharpe, sharkkin soldier (retired) from New Jorts City

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I should point out that I put a strikethrough on one of my news happenings because it's been reacted to multiple times and I kinda want to see what folks have to say about the other goofy things that keep happening here. I also didn't simply delete it because I archive all my news headlines in an OpenOffice document for a project I'm working on...

[Fretensis IV]

Cult of Stith begins erecting statues of their cartoon idol in cities across North America

"Neat. That reminds me of the Uuornic Order or whatever their names were. We let 'em come here because they were pretty good for business, but then they started putting these monoliths with crazy faces on them everywhere. Keep an eye on those Stith guys, 'cause there's going to be a mass suicide or terror attack. Take it from us." - A woman running a noodle stall.

[Diarcesia]

Cult of Stith begins erecting statues of their cartoon idol in cities across North America

"Neat. That reminds me of the Uuornic Order or whatever their names were. We let 'em come here because they were pretty good for business, but then they started putting these monoliths with crazy faces on them everywhere. Keep an eye on those Stith guys, 'cause there's going to be a mass suicide or terror attack. Take it from us." - A woman running a noodle stall.

Bloodsport Megaplex under construction, to seat 25,000, named after legendary grange monstrosity wrangler Fionn Smyth

A modern day Colosseum if I see one.

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The latest news is that the military has begun a major training exercise in order to maintain the readiness and effectiveness of its defense forces. The exercise includes a range of different drills and scenarios, and is designed to test the capabilities of the military and prepare it for any potential threats or challenges. The training is being conducted in various locations throughout the country, and is expected to last for several weeks. As a result, some areas may be affected by increased activity and possible disruptions, as the military works to ensure the safety and security of the nation.

Featured photo from the 2023 exercises

[Washington-Columbia]

RIPCORD drinking contest ends in tragedy as Derrick Whipple dies of heart attack, fans send loving messages.

...I don't know why there are still contests involving alcohol. I may have sworn to abstain from alcohol, and thus never understood why it's so popular, given how people noticeably drunk are more likely to hit their families, have their livers fail, and as suck, Mr. Whipple die from intoxication, I swear we should put alcohol in worse regards than we do already.

-Abdullah Naaji, resident of Madindatu

The latest news is that the military has begun a major training exercise in order to maintain the readiness and effectiveness of its defense forces. The exercise includes a range of different drills and scenarios, and is designed to test the capabilities of the military and prepare it for any potential threats or challenges. The training is being conducted in various locations throughout the country, and is expected to last for several weeks. As a result, some areas may be affected by increased activity and possible disruptions, as the military works to ensure the safety and security of the nation.

I know military exercises may be integral to one nation's security, but from my experience, this is simply common occurrence, maybe annually. I know this is large-scale and might take quite a lot of time to occur, but in the end, should people be too bothered by this? It may be effective to some places, but this problem can be simply solved, by y'know, choosing where to train and drill themselves...

-Commander Niko Dressler

[Theodorous and the Parathalassias]

"If there's one thing our country learned from its time as a Soviet "autonomous" republic, it's that any sort of cooperation with Russia will blow up in your face. The collapse of the Soviet Union provided every nation once oppressed under the Stalinist yoke the opportunity to enjoy true freedom — and now, Georgia is going to throw away that opportunity? What has Putin promised Saakashvili, cheap gas? Certainly nothing that's worth signing away Georgia's independence." — Dimitris Tasoulas, former independence activist and elder statesman

BN, please respond to T&P's recent election — results, aftermath, or whatever you'd like.

[Chad Jamahiriya]

We tolerate and congratulate Stefanos Androulakis for his victory against the right wing imperialists but we would have rather preferred to see Vasily Ivanov's New Union winning. Lets hope he performs better next time

============

Bn react to my news. Its located at the bottom of my one and only factbook. Link in sig

[Continental Free States]

Revolutionary Frauline: Brigitte Mohnhaupt, prominent member of the German terrorist group, the Red Army Faction (Baader-Meinhoff Group) has arrived in the country for a Libyan sponsored training exercise. Although Brigitte thinks that Chad is some anti-imperialist socialist paradise, the locals are wondering why isn't this woman without a husband and without a veil and why the heck is she shooting guns instead of cooking and cleaning. In any case, her mere presence indicates that Gaddafi is planning something big again and soon, West Germany might face danger.

"The wildlings^[1] in Garamantia^[n1] may be wondering why Frow^[2] Mohnhaupt is shooting a gewear^[3] instead of cooking and cleaning, but I am more wondering why the Caserly Loftweapon^[n2] hasn't yet bombed every town in Libya and Libysh-beset Garamantia that she was ever seen in with sarin, anthrax, and crossrockets, and if CLW for whatever grounds could not throughfare^[4] this, why did no other Western loftmight^[5]."

Martha Browne, Americanerine in Boston

[1] barbarians
[2] Mrs., Madam
[3] rifle
[4] carry out
[5] air force

n1 refers to the Garamantian Republic, counterpart to the real life Republic of Tchad
n2 Anglicisation of Kaiserliche Luftwaffe, the German Air Force of this timeline

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Here's this fortnight's news. Please react to the main article or any of the shorter headlines. If you can't deal with the Anglish, a translation of the news in contemporary English has been provided and can be found in the spoiler at the top of the page.

[Alsalvia]

After Madeleine Johnsdaughter Thorpe, Senator in the Parliament of Australia for 17 months, was kicked out for having interrupted the King's Speech to the Parliament with her screams, she posted cartoons of King Godfrith III being beheaded. Governor General Matthew Gunnarson, 7th Earl of Throsby, has openly apologised for his 'clear lack of oversight appointing Mrs. Thorpe to her seat'.

"That's the definition of an idiot. A person who babbles nonsense and gets mad over everything, like her. You cannot just interrupt someone's speech, especially one of higher power than yours. Shouldn't that have been obvious by now? She's acting immaturely. It's a good thing she was arrested and kicked out of parliament."

- Joine Çacara, member of the Alsalvian Conservative Party


News linked in signature.

[Delvian States]

After the earthquake in North Sudove, the government had sent construction workers from all around the country to rebuild. Though, the amount of workers was not enough. The government of Alsalvia had to resort to hiring migrant workers, mainly from North Africa and Eastern Europe, to temporarily live in Alsalvia and rebuild from the earthquake, of which had guaranteed good pay. Many migrants flocked in, to the point where some of the airports were full. The exact number of migrant workers is unknown, though it is somewhere between 45,000 and 180,000. These numbers are expected to rise to 230,000 by January. Many construction companies from Western Europe have also been offered cash to help rebuild from the earthquake.

"This seems unwise, to depend so heavily on migrant workers for reconstruction. They should train their own people to do this." - Mayor Igor Banokaric of Pleshe

In other news, former State President Colonel Ismail Bilalovic has died of an unexpected ischemic stroke. He was just 39 years of age, and thus far, the only Muslim to head the federal executive in this century.

- Perringrad News Wire

[Terra Britania]

"A stroke... at the ripe old eld^[1] of thirty-nine. Riiiiiiiiight... I'm no laecster^[2], and I know not about ye, but this is setting off warning bells in my head that someone wanted this twat taken care of. He was a Mahometist^[3], so I guess nothing of worth^[4] was lost, but still. You may want to look into his fiends^[5] or anyone with something to gain with his death."
- Egwine Mathilde of Lancashire, Heretogine of Lancashire

[1] age
[2] doctor, physician (feminine)
[3] an adherent of Mohammedanism
[4] value
[5] enemies, opponents

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News for BN. React to the main article or the other headlines.
And before you go "waah waah no understand funny words", please open the spoiler labelled "Wrong English version".

[Chad Jamahiriya]

This brute dog who calls himself Armstrong has deceived the people of America with his fake promises of greatness and then he has the gall to speak of cleansing the 'wea' colonized masses of the world. Suffice to say that if he poses any kinds of threat to our existence then the Marxism in our ideology will shower him with a 1000 Soviet nukes and the Islam inside our hearts will declare unrelenting Jihad

President Oueddei

[Theodorous and the Parathalassias]

“It is always heartening to see cooperation between our socialist comrades across the world. We urge the German and Chadian revolutionary vanguards to continue to support each other in their struggles to liberate and unify their nations under the red flag!” — Viktor Makarenko, Chairman of the Council of People’s Commissars of the Crimean ASSR (1979)

[Fishelle]

So like there's politics where there's an election between two archetypes of ideologies and the winning one probably will drastically change the nation.
That's basically any election. Now with more Europe involved.

- Some Guy Who Read The News Factbook

[Continental Free States]

I've looked like everywhere and I don't know where the news I'm supposed to react to is. /skipme

[Jorsania]

"Uhhh cool drawings mate"

[Terra Britania]

"Crackdowns on free speech and rights... yea nah, that's just a wonted^[1] Thursday in Persia, nothing new to see there. No, what stands out is the 'Sikhist' bit. You're telling me that those fucking smelly thweelheaded^[2] cunts rule the Persia of this world? Fuck me, I know not if that would be better for Persia or somehow worse than the Mahometists^[3]... and seeing what this regering^[4] did, 'tis likely the latter."
- Egwine Mathilde of Lancashire, Heretogine of Lancashire

[1] usual, typical
[2] literally "towel-headed", referring to the cloth worn by Sikhists on their heads
[3] believers of Mohammedanism
[4] government

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News for BN. React to the main article or the other headlines.
And before you go "waah waah no understand funny words", please open the spoiler labelled "Wrong English version".

[Continental Free States]

Italish coalition falls asunder after Premier sacks Outlandsminister
The PLI and DC, two of the four parties in the coalition holding the morehood in the Italish Gemoot, have left following the sacking of Outlandsminister Bruno Buccellati—limbman of the PLI—by Premier Bonifacio di Savoia as the latter told the former he was a “testa di cazzo”, roughly meaning “dickhead”.

"It must've been a sare^[1] small morehood^[2] if the PLI could break the coalition asunder by withdrawing... and if it was this small a lead, the Premier ought to have known so too. One calls not his own Outlandsminister^[3] a 'dickhead', folk often take belithing^[4] to that. That said, it's Italy. They're not genauwly^[5] known for their steadiness^[6] now are they?"

Martha Browne, Americanerine in Boston

[1] very
[2] majority
[3] Foreign Minister
[4] offense
[5] exactly
[6] stability

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Here's this fortnight's news. Please react to the main article or any of the shorter headlines. If you can't deal with the Anglish, a translation of the news in contemporary English has been provided and can be found in the spoiler at the top of the page.

[Karakalpak Republic]

"Well, it sounds like there is a history of long blood between Indochina and Thailand in this universe, and that dam on the Mekong river seems to have been the last star, so from one side such escalation is unsurprising. But at the same time, it seems like there was an agreement after 1987 that worked relatively well for more than 30 years, and I do value peace a lot, therefore my heart is filled with a mix of disappointment and sadness whenever another war breaks out."

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Orak Vaganzi, the Ceremonial Representative

[Alinghi Federal-Democratic Republic]

"MarieAntoniette docet!" a post of Alingan Citizen on BlueSky.

[Continental Free States]

(I normally wait for 4-5 people to post between each two of my posts, but it's been ~5 days. Sidenote, if my BN could also reply to the Karakalpak Republic's news it'd be swell. They really got the short end of the stick here.)

"Approved the confederal law that force the cantons to rise their minimum wages by at least 5%."

"On one hand, minimumlauns^[1] scathe^[2] the werthship^[3] by swelling the geld^[4]: put onefoldly^[5] if workers are getting betaled^[6] more, the goods they make will become dearer^[7], thus the geldswelling. On the other hand, the centralregering^[8] thwanging^[9] the underdealings^[10] to do something seems like the gainset^[11] of what a statesbound^[12] is meant to be like. All in all, I am not for this new beslotting^[13]"

Martha Browne, Americanerine in Boston

[1] minimum wages
[2] damage
[3] economy
[4] money. By extension, "money-swelling" means inflation
[5] simply

[6] paid
[7] more expensive
[8] central government
[9] forcing, coercing
[10] administrative districts (here referring to the Cantons)

[11] opposite
[12] confederation
[13] decision

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Here's this fortnight's news. Please react to the main article or any of the shorter headlines. If you can't deal with the Anglish, a translation of the news in contemporary English has been provided and can be found in the spoiler at the top of the page.

[Greater Kastovia]

Indochina officially declares war on Thailand over claimed Thai territories in Outer Mekong

“And here I was, thinking this was all gonna be over after the shit that went down in Ho Chi Minh. South Vietnam may have fallen to the commies but at least it finally bought some peace to this godforsaken land. Guess I thought too soon. And knowing these Kastovians and how much they love getting involved in geopolitical crises that are nothing to do with them, I’m not looking forward to what’s gonna happen from this” - Garry Turmeric, American expat living in Greater Kastovia and Vietnam War veteran

[Chickennaise]

Doin' a twofer because CFS suggested it:

"Why not just bake it in pancakes?" a politician chimes in during online discussions about the practice of dumping milk in dairy industry

"Yeah, man, why not just make pancakes? Everyone likes those, right? Or waffles? Why don't dudes just make, like, powdered milk when they got too much milk? That lasts a couple of years, right? You can bake with it, and put water back in it, and you get regular milk!

"I just don't like seeing all that milk get wasted when there are plenty of, like, burritos that need hella cheese on 'em. Now that I think about it, I don't really know how the dairy industry works. And now I'm hungry again! Anyway, I think that dude with the pancake idea needs to get promoted to, like, President or whatever you guys have."
- "Squishy" Jimenez, stoner from Peter City

Change to the constitution means declarations of war or martial law must now go through the Supreme Court except in emergencies; KLDP spokesperson criticises the change as “Yet more unnecessary hoops for us to have to jump through”

"Well, I think this is a good and necessary change! War is such a horrendous thing to endure; it should really only be an absolute last resort for stopping some great evil regime or such. After all, I live and work in Neo Taipei, and there's a very good reason that it's called Neo Taipei these days. It certainly wasn't a natural disaster that forced us to rebuild half the city! I doubt anyone could comprehend just how destructive the World Civil War was without actually seeing it firsthand. It's all so sad, really..."
- Gretel Teel, birdkin electronics engineer from Neo Taipei

I finally updated my news LOL

[Theodorous and the Parathalassias]

“We express our solemn condolences to the people of Chickennaise, and to all of those who have lost family members, friends, and loved ones to the incident at the… thing. On a side note, assuming a “shipgirl” is like an able seaman or something, I doubt any of them would smell particularly nice.” — Andri Elissaiou, Grand-Drome Logothete (foreign and communications minister)

BN, please respond to T&P’s recent election — results, government formation, etc.

[Continental Free States]

Anna Denkova, leader of the Movement for our Rights, blamed the new electoral system for her party's losses, arguing that "the establishment parties have conspired to deprive us of our representation." She ruled out a coalition with either the Centre or the Spring.

"I'm as happy about the outcome of that wale^[1] as she is—well, not really, a Forholdnesswale^[2] shaping a de facto twoparty regering^[3] is the best outcome you could hope from that system—but what the hell means she that 'the new walesystem is to beshild^[4] for her losses'? What fortreading^[5]? She got seven byhundred^[6] of the stevens^[7] and that becomes two seats, there is no way to make a wale any fairer. Now, is a Senate with only 30 seats too small? Well maybe, but not for a land with less than two hundred thousand folk in its marks."

Martha Browne, Americanerine in Boston

[1] election
[2] Election under Proportional Representation
[3] government
[4] blame
[5] representation
[6] percent
[7] votes

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Here's this fortnight's news. Please react to the main article or any of the shorter headlines. If you can't deal with the Anglish, a translation of the news in contemporary English has been provided and can be found in the spoiler at the top of the page.