Your Reaction to AN's News (III)

[The Empire of Octavia]

“So he dissolved the Senate, then what? Why should I care about whatever is going on over there? How will that affect me, huh? Crap, I'm just…I am just so damn exhausted from yesterday…Stupid Denny's…should've never visited one in the first place…”
- His Excellency the "former" 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, who is depressed now that he remembers his last experience at a Denny's.

[Greater Kastovia]

ELECTION ALERT: Still Too Early To Know Which Minority To Scapegoat

“There always has to be someone to blame… *sigh*, I remember when politics was the heart of lively but civilised debate, not mentally deranged individuals choosing to stomp on the throats of people from a certain background because it suits their agenda” - Phil “Piotr” James, British-born Kastovian writer and diplomat

[Continental Free States]

Greater Kastovia confirms it will join NATO in the event of the United States leaving the alliance, following meeting with NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte. Rutte stated the meeting was “More a discussion about Greater Kastovia’s usefulness to the West than anything serious,” but that he was ready to agree on terms “When the time is right”

"But what would be the point? Without America ONAF^* is merely a Westeuropish^[1] Alliance—this is true here and I reckon it's even truer in your world where the Cross-Atlantish forholdings^[2] are less 'an alliance of alikes' and more 'America and the yoke it holds over Westeuropa's neck'. If America withdraws not from the Alliance, Castrovy^** bytreading^[3] would make meaning^[4], America is the bridge between Castrovy in Asia and the bulk of the alliance in Europa. If America isn't there, what is Castrovy meant to do? Not like Charlottesland^*** can be of much help being that bridge."

Martha Browne, Americanerine in Boston

[1] Western European
[2] Cross-Atlantic Relations
[3] joining
[4] make sense

* Oorganisation of Northatlantish Fordrawing, i.e. NATO
** Anglicisation of Kastrovia
*** refers to the Lordship of Charlottesland, this timeline's counterpart to Canada

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Here's this fortnight's news. Please react to the main article or any of the five headlines. If you can't deal with the Anglish, a translation of the news in contemporary English has been provided and can be found in the spoiler at the top of the page.

[Restored New England]

Presidialwale of 2024: Hutchinson wins after dramatish months-long wedleap

"It seems as if this is an alternative America that exists in a different universe, and while darker in some ways than our own, at least their version of America was never nuked and Balkanized. This Hutchinson fellow seems a bit reactionary, but even he would have been better than the Incel regime from which we were liberated." - State Senator Jackson Lynch of Massachusetts (SDP, representing Amherst).

From Boston Liberation News Wire:

With the election just under a month away, Dr. Orion Shark of the Social Democratic Party holds a sizable plurality in the polls over his closest opponent, former United States District Judge Eustace Aubrey of the American Reunion Congress. Shark currently has 34% in the polls, with 22% for Aubrey. If no candidate wins at least fifty percent of the total votes gathered in the December 5th Presidential election, the Congress of States that convenes on January 25th will elect the new President from among the top two candidates in the race. Unlike the United States, the Commonwealth of (Restored) New England has no Electoral College. Presidents, under the Constitution of 2023, are chosen by popular vote, but on a semi-FPTP basis. There is a Congressional runoff, as noted, but the threshold for winning the popular vote is fifty percent, not an absolute majority. This was considered a compromise between FPTP and a runoff system.

[Theodorous and the Parathalassias]

“I’m glad to see that the Americans are finally being sensible and considering a Social Democratic candidate. Anywhere whose political spectrum ends at social liberalism… well, let’s say it’s no surprise they’ve got vagrants all over the streets. But as usual, it seems like victory may be snatched away from the winner by a silly electoral system. But thus is America — uh, ‘New England’.” — Antonis Kyriakis, former Mesazon and elder statesman

[LDS Mesa]

Nov 9: Spring Pulls Ahead
With the results of this election’s final opinion poll now published, the governing leftist Spring+ alliance has pulled ahead of the opposition Centre Union, with which it had previously been in a statistical tie for several weeks. “The Spring alliance’s new lead of eight and a half points may prove hard for the Centre to overcome,” noted pollster Vadim Davankov.

"This kind of thing is a clear example of why democracies ultimately fail. We tried in the former United States, but it proved to be a back door for rabble-rousing socialist demagogues to gain power by bribing the masses with public largesse and freedom to sin. Theocracy is the only way forward for us." - Dr. William Campion, Professor of Government at New Zion University.

[Fretensis IV]

"This reminds me of somebody who claimed to speak to the galactic spirit. That wasn't too popular but they had enough to make it big for a bit on Free-Tense. They called themselves the Ultimate Aligned Being, the Leader of the Flock Whose Edicts Ring With Ultimate Truth. It was kinda funny when they wound up being found drowned in a shit river outside of the Piss Flats."

-- An augmented gangster.

[Continental Free States]

Propaganda competition between The Sensible Few and The Roses leads to 'literal tons' of leaflets scattered around Outer Dropzone.

"A fight between beliefs is foreseebere^[1] in any ord^[2] that has freedom of religion or is so far from the kern^[3] that, should there be no freedom of religion, nobody can soothly^[4] uphold the stateschurch. What befuddles me is not the 'wedleap^[5] of propaganda' going on, but the sooth they are brooking^[6] workly^[7] paper for their fight. Doesn't everyone brook the Mid^* on their handies^[8] and tollva^[9] these days?"

Martha Browne, Americanerine in Boston

[1] foreseeable, expectable
[2] place
[3] core
[4] truly
[5] race, competition

[6] using
[7] real, actual (adj)
[8] mobile phones
[9] computer (plural also tollva)

* short for the Midnetwork. Also called the Net

---

Here's this fortnight's news. Please react to the main article or any of the shorter headlines. If you can't deal with the Anglish, a translation of the news in contemporary English has been provided and can be found in the spoiler at the top of the page.

[Freedom Freelandia]

Crisis in Qatar: Ba'athist Siege of the Emir's Palace in Doha lifted by timely Persish arrival

We hope for a peaceful resolution to the conflict soon

---

200 Freelandians went overseas to kidnap free foreigners in order to enslave them. 150 of them were caught and imprisoned in the nation they went to and 25 of them bribed their way out of punishment. This means that 25 of them got away with kidnapping people and returning them as slaves Scot-free. Once they arrive in Freelandia, the kidnappers will need to pay a token bribe to get away from any punishment, as doing so is de facto legal if you can afford a bribe. Over 300 people were trafficked to Freelandia by the 25 successful human traffickers

[Provisional America]

This means that 25 of them got away with kidnapping people and returning them as slaves Scot-free.

This is something that would truly horrify most Americans, even after the period of anarchy after the Great Pulse.

_____


The State of South Carolina has just approved a law that lowers the age for lawful gun ownership for rifles to 14. The legal age for ownership of handguns and semi-automatic rifles will remain 16 and 18, respectively. Governor Arnie Michaud (Republican Front) is expected to sign this bill into law, making it the Youth Self-Defense and Hunting Rights Act of 2024.

[Freedom Freelandia]

This is just America being America. At least there's SOME level of restrain

---

Last week, Freelandia's largest dairy company "Madam Moo" experimented with adding a small amount of paint thinner to their milk, in order to cut costs. This ended with over 200,000,000 litres of milk being contaminated, saving the company 0.02 bucks per litre. The ingredients were clearly written on the label, so therefore the company was able to bribe their way out of punishment, however, as more than 65% of the population is illiterate, this lead the vast majority of the population open to drinking the contaminated milk. After the bribes, the company ended up saving 0.004 bucks per litre, however, they decided that the savings weren't worth it as killing off your customers is bad for long term business, and they were also worried that the public might start smelling the paint thinner. The contaminated bottles weren't recalled, however, meaning there's an estimated 100,000,000 litres of contaminated milk still on the shelves (324 USD= 1 buck)

[Rosettan Overwatch]

“Hmm, now what is this? Why does this country write legislation like an MUN resolution? Anyway, it looks like they’re going to war. I suppose Mr. Elissaiou* will have to get around to urging dialogue and restraint and so on, but that’s not really my job.” — Dimitris Katsidis, Legislative Aide

*Andri Elissaiou, Grand Logothetis (foreign minister)

// what is a MUN resolution? //

PVS.PHANTOM-8 has responded for comment;

<:: "That is deeply concerning. I hope the civilians that got wounded from such an abhorrent violation of environmental laws get their reparations. How are these companies watched over? I strongly urge more control over food and water services..." ::>

// BN, do https://www.nationstates.net/nation=ros ... id=2578709 or https://www.nationstates.net/nation=ros ... id=2569008 - or both, if you want. preferably the first one or both //

[Port Vixen]

I decided to do only the first.

"The call for genocide is concerning, not that because it kills a lot. But rather because of how logistically taxing it is to carry out. We call the Nazis to have a very efficient genocide logistics but they only killed 17 million people for 4 years since the activation of the Final Solution. Not to mention the severe environmental and land damage which will occur just to initiate such plans. So i am concerned about the Post war ecological situation which may render planets unlivable or at least expensive to rebuild." - A assistant teacher interviewed by Radio Vixen while sailing at Denmark Strait.

[Rosettan Overwatch]

I decided to do only the first.

"The call for genocide is concerning, not that because it kills a lot. But rather because of how logistically taxing it is to carry out. We call the Nazis to have a very efficient genocide logistics but they only killed 12 million people for 4 years since the activation of the Final Solution. Not to mention the severe environmental and land damage which will occur just to initiate such plans. So i am concerned about the Post war ecological situation which may render planets unlivable or at least expensive to rebuild." - A assistant teacher interviewed by Radio Vixen while sailing at Denmark Strait.

// I don't see the Total War declaration as genocidal - retributive, yes, but not genocidal. Defining "total war directives" as "wipe out the hostile's leadership and military completely". Should probably swap out that first CONFIRMING statement.. Unless you're talking about the Szpasi Stellar Conglomerate's actions? //

/it's still Port Vixen's turn/

[Freedom Freelandia]

|Swedish shipgirl brings over several Gotland Sheep after a short visit at home port.The sheeps became popular among the girls.

---

Since this was skipped, I'll post it again.

Last week, Freelandia's largest dairy company "Madam Moo" experimented with adding a small amount of paint thinner to their milk, in order to cut costs. This ended with over 200,000,000 litres of milk being contaminated, saving the company 0.02 bucks per litre and increasing shelf-life. The ingredients were clearly written on the label, so therefore the company was able to bribe their way out of punishment, however, as more than 65% of the population is illiterate, this left the vast majority of the population open to drinking the contaminated milk. After the bribes, the company ended up saving 0.004 bucks per litre, however, they decided that the savings weren't worth it as killing off your customers is bad for long term business, and they were also worried that the public might start smelling the paint thinner. The contaminated bottles weren't recalled, however, meaning there's an estimated 100,000,000 litres of contaminated milk still on the shelves (324 USD= 1 buck)

[Fretensis IV]

"Eight-hundred-thou' in profits in return for slaughtering your stock. Madam Moo is a conglomerate that would've been eviscerated on Fretensis if they'd even thought of operating. If you're going to use cost-saving measures, do the classics like ashen flour, chutedust in Grips, or watered down booze for the lower classes. So many cartels fail to learn the lesson: if the customer isn't hooked, sink your talons in them. Once they're hooked, keep them alive and paying 'til you get a return of at least a thousand percent C.O.M."

- A representative from the Alchemistry Syndicate Corporation

[Terra Britania]

Raging fire displaces hundreds of households and destroys Hobbes Island community, blamed on splattering cooking oil.

"I'd have believed the fire was indeed from splattered meatoil^[1] were it not for the sooth^[2] that this is some technofuturistish^[3] hypercapitalistish^[4] hellhole taken straight from a nihilistish^[5] youth's wet dream of how mankind will be living in a few hundred years. No, there has to be something else at play here... there always is with these kinds of settings. Rotten syndicates caring not for paltry begrips^[6] such as buildingforscripts^[7] or fealihoodstandards^[8], an ongripe^[9] by some other group, or even a wilful burning by the rulers of the ieland^[10] to kill off everyone living there. All there is to do is find out."
- Egwine Mathilde of Lancashire, Heretogine of Lancashire

[1] cooking oil; note "meat" means "food in general" and not "animal flesh"
[2] fact, actuality
[3] techno-futuristic
[4] hyper-capitalistic
[5] nihilistic

[6] concepts, notions
[7] building codes
[8] safety standards
[9] attack (noun)
[10] island

---

News for BN. React to the main article or the other headlines.
And before you go "waah waah no understand funny words", please open the spoiler labelled "Wrong English version".

[Continental Free States]

Armstrong wins wale 294 to 237

"My um... gladdest wellwishings^[1] on Here^[2] Armstrong for his sige? Soothfastly^[3] I don't get it. The man swears he wants to make an America where the weak will be cleansed and the strong are left to do as they want, and nobody sees any red flags? He may have handed the regering to the axeman and cut as much of the fat as mayly^[4] by doing away with unneeded ambights^[5] and and even lowered gavel aside from that—all fast ideas that Hutchinson likewise ran his waletyge^[6] on and won, so no overrush^[7] there—which help, more than anyone else, the mean man... but are you telling me nobody felt that they may not soothly be the Strong he is speaking of? Then again, Armstrong's bound by a Forsamling^[8] in which he only holds a slight morehood^[9], so not all hope is lost. How the hell does Godfrithland^* have half as many folk as Godfrithson^** anyway?"

Martha Browne, Americanerine in Boston

[1] congratulations
[2] Mr.
[3] Honestly
[4] possible
[5] offices, bureaus

[6] election campaign
[7] surprise
[8] Congress
[9] majority

* State of Godfrithland, refers to California but is named in honour of Prince Godfrith, Duke of York and Albany and later King Godfrith II of England, who funded California's settlement before its War of Independence
** State of Godfrithson, refers to Texas but is named in honour of Thomas Peter Godfrithson, famed American patriot, writer of the Constitution, and Third President of the United States.

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Here's this fortnight's news. Please react to the main article or any of the shorter headlines. If you can't deal with the Anglish, a translation of the news in contemporary English has been provided and can be found in the spoiler at the top of the page.

[Rosettan Overwatch]

|Swedish shipgirl brings over several Gotland Sheep after a short visit at home port.The sheeps became popular among the girls.

---

Since this was skipped, I'll post it again.

// No no, I acknowledged it. I was quoting what I was responding to *in OOC.* Do re-read the text as provided. Cheers. //

/notme

[Continental Free States]

Armstrong wins wale 294 to 237

"My um... gladdest wellwishings^[1] on Here^[2] Armstrong for his sige? Soothfastly^[3] I don't get it. The man swears he wants to make an America where the weak will be cleansed and the strong are left to do as they want, and nobody sees any red flags? He may have handed the regering to the axeman and cut as much of the fat as mayly^[4] by doing away with unneeded ambights^[5] and and even lowered gavel aside from that—all fast ideas that Hutchinson likewise ran his waletyge^[6] on and won, so no overrush^[7] there—which help, more than anyone else, the mean man... but are you telling me nobody felt that they may not soothly be the Strong he is speaking of? Then again, Armstrong's bound by a Forsamling^[8] in which he only holds a slight morehood^[9], so not all hope is lost. How the hell does Godfrithland^* have half as many folk as Godfrithson^** anyway?"

Martha Browne, Americanerine in Boston

[1] congratulations
[2] Mr.
[3] Honestly
[4] possible
[5] offices, bureaus

[6] election campaign
[7] surprise
[8] Congress
[9] majority

* State of Godfrithland, refers to California but is named in honour of Prince Godfrith, Duke of York and Albany and later King Godfrith II of England, who funded California's settlement before its War of Independence
** State of Godfrithson, refers to Texas but is named in honour of Thomas Peter Godfrithson, famed American patriot, writer of the Constitution, and Third President of the United States.

---

Here's this fortnight's news. Please react to the main article or any of the shorter headlines. If you can't deal with the Anglish, a translation of the news in contemporary English has been provided and can be found in the spoiler at the top of the page.

/stillme

[Chickennaise]

Presidialwale of 2024: Hutchinson wins after dramatish months-long wedleap

It was raining in Peter City when news of the election came.

The Yeh Diggity Cantina was even more crowded than usual—a nagakin beastfolk waitress, popular among the patrons, slithered with all the haste she could muster in order to keep pace with the constant orders—and every television was tuned to Foreign Politics With Craig & Greg.

"Welcome back, folks, and I'm glad you're with us for this momentous occasion," said Greg.

"It's certainly a moment!" said Craig, Greg's dapper ventriloquist dummy. He looked directly at the camera. "A moment these Foroned States will likely regret!"

The studio audience chuckled; Greg let the laughter die down before replying. "Now, come on, Craig! The American people wanted change, and they're getting it! I, for one, am interested to see what exciting new policy changes Hutchinson's going to be bringing to the table!"

"Change this, change that! Look, when your nation's going through a bit of a rough patch, you don't jump ship, you stay the course! You make small tweaks as policies become routine and unforeseen problems crop up! Continuous process improvement, Greg!" A portion of the studio audience applauded, and Craig nodded enthusiastically.

"And how long do you think the people are gonna sit around and wait while ol' Al Landon gets his head in the game, huh?" There was more applause, but Greg continued, "Time's wasting, and clearly Americans are tired of Landon wasting their time!"

"So what's Hutchinson going to do, just undo a bunch of stuff Landon did? Let me ask you: if each new administration spends its time tearing down everything the last administration did, what actually gets built? If constant policy reversals—which is apparently what you and the Americans want—are all that happens in the house of government, then all they're gonna be left with is a pile of rubble! And you know what'll happen then?"

"I'm sure you'll tell me, Craig," said Greg.

"The Foroned States of America are gonna end up the Forlorn States of America!"

There was a burst of laughter from the studio audience, and Greg sighed. The cantina patrons had a hearty chuckle, as well.

A human man, drunk and fantastically obese, leaned out of his booth. "Hey, miss! Hey, hey, miss!" he said, trying to get the nagakin waitress's attention. She turned around with a smile. "Hey, gimme two orders of them beer-battered deep fried burger bites!" said the drunk. He burped in her face—beer and pickled eggs—and slid back into his booth.

"Sure thing!" said the waitress, doing her best not to inhale, and slithered away dejectedly, knowing that she was going to miss a good chunk of Craig and Greg's Presidialwale commentary. Such was life.

[The Atlanta Citadel]

Maid cafes becoming popular spot for formal business meetings

"Gee, I have no clue why those would be popular! They should see how popular the Succubus Café is in The Citadel." - Severin Martin, leading banker, philanthropist, and patron of said café, making a probably sarcastic remark there.

In recent news:

The Commandant has confirmed that he will remain in office "for likely a minimum of six more years, maybe significantly more than that.

- The Citadel Gazette

[Theodorous and the Parathalassias]

“It is certainly concerning that an apparently military official in Atlanta has unilaterally announced the extension of his own term, in contravention of the basic principle of civilian control over the military. I urge the American authorities, including President Trump* and Secretary Brown** to clarify the situation and to ensure that the mentioned Commandant does not pursue illegal or unconstitutional means for extending his tenure.”

*Donald Trump, President since 2016
**Sam Brown, Secretary of Defense

[Doslonsu]

Very Interesting to say the least! Seems quite intriguing!

[Chronica de Terrae]

Anton Mikhailovich, Premier of the Soviet State of Doslonsu, has officially declared a state of emergency as political scandals mount, threatening his hold on power. This announcement comes amidst a storm of allegations, including claims of personal involvement with the Smithist regime, an alleged affair with a prominent noblewoman, and the assassination of former President Alanna Reznik. While Mikhailovich has repeatedly denied all accusations, sources close to his administration indicate he has contingency plans in place should the situation deteriorate further, including a private jet arranged for a possible escape to Chemicala.

"Can't say I'm all too surprised, it's about what I expected from those soviet types; all rhetoric and no responsibility. No, he didn't do anything wrong, it's those pesky foreigners trying to break up his perfectly managed utopia. I bet the common person is starving while he's getting handsy with some models on a yacht, all for the good of the revolution I bet. And if he is already cracking down on protestors and dissidents, and apparently is behind the assassination of a former leader, then I wouldn't be surprised if people start disappearing. If you ask me the League of Nations needs to intervene and bring an end to this madness."

~ A random American citizen when asked about the ongoing crisis in Doslonsu.

---

"The Secretary-General of the League of Nations, Valdemar Asplund, is expected to address the General Assembly within the next couple of hours, and it is believed that the Doslonsu situation will be a key focus of this address. Already there have been calls for a timely and peaceful resolution to the crisis, as the Mikhailovich regime cracks down on protestors. Calls from allies and nations within the region have both condemned the actions of the Doslonsu premier, but have also warned that continued crackdowns on the people will only escalate the growing civil unrest."

~ Excerpt from a News Reporter outside of the League of Nations headquarters, reporting on the ongoing Crisis in Doslonsu.