Your Reaction to AN's News (III)

[Janpia]

The project seems kinda fishy. Whats with the dam having bunkers that they keep talking about? They shouldve just followed and continued this project with their lips shut for the benefit of the people!

- Janpian Resident

News

[Mennish Riche]

"The departed Folksmarshal' family have my condolences. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what more I can do in this regard."

The Right Honourable William Ludwig Harrison, Prime Minister of the Interstellar Human Confederation

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[Val Grazia]

New heavily armed mobile shipyard ICS Juggernaut deployed to Theemin to help break the 100-day-long stalemate. Experts voice concerns the Juggernaut might "start an Arms Race"

"How has the stalemate lasted for this long? Surely someone would have run out of supplies. But, alas, this Juggernaut will most definitely start an arms race. Such is the way of war. Your military must not get complacent or it may get overtaken by your rivals."
An admiral in the Val'Grazic Navy.

[United Earth Administration]

Regardless of how well the conflict may be going, I would advise against broadcasting one's military tactics the the general public - especially at such an apparently pivotal juncture.

In sig.

[Redeemed Britannia]

"You know, I'd never thought of it but if international workingmen associations become 'Internationale' while on earth, they would become 'Interstellar' (maybe 'Interstellaire'?) when we eventually take to space, huh?"

Henric Smithson, Briton

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[Val Grazia]

Regardless of how well the conflict may be going, I would advise against broadcasting one's military tactics the the general public - especially at such an apparently pivotal juncture.

In sig.

To be fair, there is no way for this news to be spread anywhere in Munzuvia outside of official military and government letters since there is no mass media at all. Seriously, the people of this world have yet to invent the printing press. Rather this is being reported by an interdimensional news agency founded in Stephaniesland far into its future, which has been reporting on the news for the benefit of the NS multiverse, rather than for the benefit of the people of Munzuvia.

/skip

[Greater Cosmicium]

General Elections held in Germany on September 25, Chancellor Neubert and his Conservative Party "retain the government" after forming coalition with the German People's Party.

"I call electoral manipulation! By Mortheus Valixor specifically!" - A Cosmician Press Agency journalist

Nyr-Khol Traffic Management Agency @NyrKholTMA, 27 September 1072918

Nyr-Khol Highway Project To Completely Gridlock Nyr-Khol Streets, Crowd Maglev Lines



On the 17th of September, the New City Foundation, a corporate "non-profit" entity infamous for whitewashing automobile highway projects at every
opportunity they get, in spite of better and more environmentally friendly alternatives such as maglev or cyclocar, gave the 1072918 Road Infrastructure Award
to a plan to expand Nyr-Khol's Highway 1 from 22 to 64 lanes, almost a 3x increase in lanes. According to the NCF, this would speed up end-end commute time
by 30 minutes (from where? to where?) and reduce CO2 emission by 20 million tonnes. The NCF received heavy criticism just for the size of the highway, and
the expected cost of 800 quadrillion Imperial Credits, enough to double the size of Nyr-Khol's maglev to 76,000 km and restore it to as-new condition.

Now, the preliminary study for the effects of Highway 1 expansion, done by real road engineers, reveal just how great the disaster caused by Highway 1's
expansion would be. First, the new road would cause a nearly 100x increase in induced demand, almost immediately jamming the highway during any time
of day, week or year, followed by the saturation of adjacent roads that would in turn get jammed. Starting from zero initial traffic, the expansion would
cause all major Nyr-Khol streets to be completely gridlocked within less than 6 hours, with an average speed of 0.1 km/h. This gridlock would also make
shuttlebus lines useless, and result in exponential increase in maglev and subway usage, causing them to be jammed in turn as trains started to hold twice
the design capacity. The endless gridlock would cause Nyr-Khol's economy to grind to a halt, and cause serious damage to other core Cosmician planets.

This doesn't even include the immense material losses caused by the demolition required to build the expansion, including the destruction of many
Nyr-Khol historical centers and many millions of homes, most of them in poor neighborhoods, and the severe environmental effects on a planet
already choking in massive pollution and radiation, with almost a third of its land area covered by industrial waste.

Naevora Xelden, Head Senator of the Imperial Senate, is expected to address this issue in his press conference this week.

5,351 Replies | 155,063 Shares | 791,035 Likes

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Replies:

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a wannabe cosmician emperor @universeofourtimes, 27 September 1072918

yeet all the highways into space, no one's gonna miss them

Cyclocar is just a fancy, futuristic sounding name for a bicycle.

Reminder that billions of dollars of real taxpayer money goes to destructive projects, like this one on which the Nyr-Khol Highway 1 debacle is based on, in the US and the rest of the world. That destruction of "undesirable" neighborhoods isn't fiction either...

[Sulivannia]

Nyr-Khol Highway Project To Completely Gridlock Nyr-Khol Streets, Crowd Maglev Lines

"Aside those insane galactic numbers by virtue of your nation's population, since 500 decillion inhabitants is too much to comprehend for me, unlike the traffic engineers of old, traffic engineering is focused on reducing the demand of roads and better utilising other means of transport such as trams, bikes, railways, and buses. That's why most road projects in Sulivannia are about removing and narrowing roads instead of widening them. Also isn't the internet a thing, rendering certain commutes useless?"

Simon Derel (46), traffic engineer from Volairen, Gronvolairen (Sulivannian Capital District)

For full headlines, 'News [Full]' is found in the uppermost box. Otherwise, the condensed headlines are found in the scrollable box of my signature.

[Free Paris]

"Well, as Harvest^[1] comes, one would foresee the weather to cool, the rains to come, and the trees to wither and shed. But seeing as you have this greatstorm^[2] going on, I must say 'tis not a rather good start to the yeartide^[3]."
- Generalmajor Frithric Chapman, Officer in the English Kingly Heere, Limbman of the Rede of Seven

[1] Autumn
[2] cyclone, typhoon, hurricane, tropical storm; same shit, different name
[3] season, lit. "time of year"

[Tremulo]

English 16th Regiment of Foot afangs latest L43 stormgewears; 7th Infantrydivision now fully geared with new gewears

"Well, that's a guarantee of greater effectiveness. Let's hope that all of the English divisions get their new automatic rifles, it'd be a significant boost to their military."

- A Hoosier war enthusiast on Reddit

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[Enzonar]

*eyes burning...

This is barry b Benson fine

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[Redeemed Britannia]

"You're building a cheese factory to... ward off enemy starships from reaching your world? I don't understand what's going on, and I'm not sure I want to."

Henric Smithson, Briton

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[Greater Cosmicium]

Nyr-Khol Highway Project To Completely Gridlock Nyr-Khol Streets, Crowd Maglev Lines

"Aside those insane galactic numbers by virtue of your nation's population, since 500 decillion inhabitants is too much to comprehend for me, unlike the traffic engineers of old, traffic engineering is focused on reducing the demand of roads and better utilising other means of transport such as trams, bikes, railways, and buses. That's why most road projects in Sulivannia are about removing and narrowing roads instead of widening them. Also isn't the internet a thing, rendering certain commutes useless?"

Simon Derell (46), traffic engineer from Yorke, Sulivannian Capital District

For full headlines, 'News [Full]' is found in the uppermost box. Otherwise, the condensed headlines are found in the lowermost scrollable box of my signature.

Not all things can be done through digital methods in Cosmicium, despite our universe-spanning internet and other mind-screwing digital technologies, our computers have only advanced to 1991 so far, the 486 is cutting edge technology and SVGA is still a concept in our universe.
/your usual skip

[Redeemed Britannia]

"You're building a cheese factory to... ward off enemy starships from reaching your world? I don't understand what's going on, and I'm not sure I want to."

Henric Smithson, Briton

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/bump

[Caliland]

"I'll bet 20 bucks they get there before the Germans" -editor

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[Neo-Western East Korea]

....8 feet of popcorn? Who the hell approved such a worthless and needlessly expensive construction, especially considering they’re going to have to throw away all that popcorn after they clean it up. This is a colossal waste of governmental or city expenditure.
-Neo Korean engineer, building his 65th statue of the Great Leader


In other news, Dams are declared anti-communist, capitalist degeneracy after 55th work crew fails to build bunkers under Nakong river dam. All resources dedicated to dam construction have been used to build the 355th giant statue of the Great Leader within Omiskan, several architects turn to drug usage after streets have to be re-routed around statue for 55th time this week.

[Val Grazia]

fisherman catches shark, is then eaten alive by said shark

"Well, it's just like my Uncle Walfie always said, "Never go looking for big fish, they'll probably eat you." I guess he was right. Although, strangely, he wasn't a fisherman."
A random guy from Norgur, a decidedly landlocked city

Ninja'd
"This seems like a colossal waste of time and money. Clearly, the dam project wasn't failing due to ideological problems, rather it seems clear the problem lies with the leadership. A dam is infinitely more useful than some statue."
Welfgarth I

[Redeemed Britannia]

"I'd offer my sincere congratulations. Often only one major victory is enough to restore morale and turn the tide of war -I've never seen it happen in my lifetime, but this easily proves it. Beware of the barbarians in the north however, with one major city in their grasp, they might try their luck and strike further south."

Brigadier General Johannes March, Commander of 31st Light Cavalry Brigade, the King's German Legion

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[New Kowloon Bay]

Perfect Week for European Progressives: Gay marriage becomes legal in Switzerland and abortion in San Marino.

\\

That's nice, although I wonder when this was.

[Odessomaldavia]

"Brittany and Cornwall? Even if those countries existed, Why would tensions EVER be rising between them? They are Celtic nations, are they Not? Why would anyone Care, too, Considering how Brittany has, What, 4.6 million people and Cornwall has Half a Million? It'd be a Helluva short war And there's no way Brittany would Reliably hold it."
-Currently Unnamed President of Odessomaldavia

Chișinău Pact is made between Odessomaldavia, Romania, and Bucogivina, Or "The Romanian World," As the President continues Negotiations to join the EU. New Freedom House Survey lists Odessomaldavia at "Partly Free" with a Freedom Score of 63/100.

BBN, Do me, Not Taliban, They didn't do a News Thingie. Or Respond to mine.

[Republic of Taliban]

It's pretty much wierd[region-tag][/region-tag]

[Redeemed Britannia]

"The Wallachia-Moldavia I know of was, from the start, a good addition to the European Confederation. With that in mind, I'm not sure how well a fit this 'Odessomaldavia' would be to your European Union, especially if it is an authoritarian hybrid regime like you describe it."

The Right Honourable Hereward Sachsen, 1st Earl of Cherbourg, Former Prime Minister of Britannia

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[Nomayuki]

"What? Troops on the border? Hope there's no war."
Kenji Takahashi, said this while running only wearing boxer pants on the snowy beach. A citizen and well known bodybuilder.

BREAKING NEWS

An avalanche has happened today in Jachi, which is on the base of the tallest mountain in Nomayuki. 5924 people have been rushed to the overcrowded hospital, but so far, none have passed away. Many buildings have been covered in snow, and there have been 69 vehicle accidents. A golf course on the outskirts of the city has also been covered by the snow, and classes have been suspended until further notice. The city is currently being evacuated, with the elderly and disabled being carried into evacuation vehicles.

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A new tower's construction in Nanka City has been approved by the Nomayukian Government. It has plans to be 2989m tall. Many citizens say that this is impossible, but it surely will have a nice view. Speaking of views, people will be able to see the Unana Volcano, 190.25 kiloplanks (kilometers) away, but the star of the show would be a mountain called "Avachinsky V". Basically the Mt. Fuji of Nanka. The military would possibly have a floor on the high parts for soldiers to practice parachuting.

[Swertania]

"Classes suspended and forced evacuations? Hell I don't care if there was an avalanche here. I don't care if it was the end of the world. The government can't force these people to stop their lives! Even if there is a natural calamity. Hell if anything they need work to rebuild their lives and all.

In fact, as a show of good faith, we will donate some money to these people so that they can start up new businesses in the wake of this disaster."

-Dr. Kenny Mercury, Methamphetamine Producer and Local Physician.

In Other News: The United States is once again threatening to remove the people of the Dewey Islands, known as Swertania to it's inhabitants, because of the ecological disaster that's unfolding. Tons of raw sewage are being directly released into the open ocean. President Oliver Chance said that this was just another imperialist move by the "Communist States of America".

[Redeemed Britannia]

"'threatening to remove'. Hah. What bewilders me most is that this spoof of Louisiana isn't the one polluting the ocean in the first place. This 'United States' should've invaded and overthrown this mess of a 'government' a long time ago, they're as much a danger to themselves as everyone around them."

The Right Honourable Hereward Sachsen, 1st Earl of Cherbourg, Former Prime Minister of Britannia

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