Your Reaction to AN's News (III)

[Mennish Riche]

"People are supposed to stay at home for 18 hours a day? I thought you were meant to be one of those ridiculous Iron Fist Consumerist Empires that saw people as human resources and all that rubbish, with the funny corruption and oppression. How are people meant to toil the land and work in the factories only 6 hours a day?"

Jacob Hieronymus Kettler, Xenologist

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[Bengal and Assam]

"Mongols and Starships do not sound like a good combination... There are no divine winds in space afaik."
-ye olde Kawanese

[Octahedralia]

"EU essentially becoming one entity? Huh."
-????, 23 September 2021

Octahedralian News Network
Forum 7 Divsion

EMERGENCY UPDATE
Submitted by the request of the Octahedralian Defence Ministry

IT IS BELIEVED THAT DUE TO A RAPIDLY ESCALATING MILITARY CONFLICT KNOWN AS THE:
Sixth Epic War

NUCLEAR WAR IS EXPECTED TO BE IN LESS THAN:
48 Hours

AS OCTAHEDRALIA IS INVOLVED IN THIS CONFLICT, OCTAHEDRALIA IS NOW AT
ODRB 4: World War

ALL OCTAHEDRALIANS ARE ADVISED TO PROCURE AS MANY NON-PERISHABLE FOODSTUFFS AND WATER
AS POSSIBLE OR FIND ONE OF MANY PUBLIC BUNKERS SCATTERED THROUGHOUT THE
COUNTRY IN CASE NUCLEAR WAR ENSUES.

Due to how rapidly this conflict is escalating, expect an upgrade to ODRB 5 within 24 hours. (ODBR 6 = Nuclear War)

[Augsburg-Fugger]

"Haha! Nerds! Glad that the Earth has no Nuclear Tensions.
ahem"
-Archlord Olbrecht Fugger

[Mennish Riche]

"Is it Augsburg who is proud of its medieval heritage or is the House of Fugger? Because from what irresponsibility I've seen from you in this news post alone, I don't think it's Augsburg."

Jacob Hieronymus Kettler, Xenologist

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[Estado Americano de Espana]

"Might start an arms race? MIGHT?! Bitchass, the Iowa refit sparked a massive naval race over who gets the best Guided Missile Dreadnought or Battleship or Battlecruiser. And that was just in the Cold War. Don't be surprised if competitors to your boats appear."

- Doctor Garcia Martinez, UME Paramedic.

[Free Paris]

"China. A tad bewildered the Frogs—of all folk—are helping the good side this time around... but otherwise, I'd say the cross-eyed midgets had it coming. If it were up to me, I'd make what the Japaners did at Nanking look like a hovely^[1] gespeak^[2]."
- General Edward Townleigh, Officer in the English Kingly Heere, Limbman of the Rede of Seven

[1] polite, courteous
[2] conversation

[Neo-Western East Korea]

A railway from Paris to an area near England? If it wasn’t built by what seems to be Germans, I would say it was a great benefit to the state.
-Neo-Korean Industrialist


In other news, New government minister, Sichard Dillhouse Mixon, announces new bill approved by Great Leader, organizing the usage, legality, and implementation of wiretaps. A speech was given in front of a small crowd of party officials, where, while holding a dog, he promised the Neo-Korean people “This bill will only be used to persecute those who are a threat to the stability and unity of Neo-Korea”.

[Redeemed Britannia]

"Sichard Dillhouse Mixon? What kind of a Josener would be named that? I thought you people were Koreans, as your name suggests?! With that in mind, I'm not sure why he's holding a dog giving a speech to 'a small crowd', you're clearly a psychotic dictatorship, just do what you want?"

The Right Honourable Hereward Sachsen, 1st Earl of Cherbourg, Former Prime Minister of Britannia

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[Tremulo]

King's German Legion captures Vishkov only 50 km east of Warsaw. "Bet we can reach the city before the Germans" - General Hohenlohe

"Ah, nothing better than a little friendly competition! My bet's on the Britons making it first, but the result will be just about the same either way."

- A Hoosier war enthusiast

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[Franzenheim]

"Woah what the? What is even happening? Why is this a thing? Why am I a thing?"

The UNSA's advances on Pluto have prompted the SDF-aligned Franzenheim colony to round up its own citizens, bring them in for questioning, and public execution upon suspicion of spies aiding the enemy. About 1 in 8 people on Franzenheim were subject to this

[Mennish Riche]

"They're executing one out of every eight citizen over suspicion of espionage? That's not exactly a smart way of garnering popular support against enemy expansion, is it?"

Jacob Hieronymus Kettler, Xenologist

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[Franzenheim]

"They're executing one out of every eight citizen over suspicion of espionage? That's not exactly a smart way of garnering popular support against enemy expansion, is it?"

Jacob Hieronymus Kettler, Xenologist

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No no subject to questioning and or execution.. executions where 1 in every 20

/skip

[Augsburg-Fugger]

"As if an Arms Race hasn't already Started. This is gonna start some kind of Quantum war, Isn't it? Your world is Over, Most Likely."
-Albrecht Von Fugger, Future Burgermeister of Augsburg

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[Janpia]

BREAKING NEWS! ARCHLORD OLBRECHT FUGGER, HEIR TO THE FUGGERAN THRONE, SHOT IN DIEDORF!

"Ah finally, one monarch out of the way!"

Perpetrator a Turkish man from a Far Right Organization, Olbrecht in Stable Condition.

"Well umm, on the other hand, good thing he survives. He didnt deserve to be shot from a fascist"

- Small time party staff

News

[Redeemed Britannia]

"i enjoy handing out threats of fire and destruction like Halloween Candy as much as the next head of state, but I feel like expecting belligerent sides to for some reason specifically avoid your own citizens while killing each other in a brutal civil war is just too much. Bring the expats home if they want to, else you have no justification to expect warring enemies to spare them."

The Right Honourable Hereward Sachsen, 1st Earl of Cherbourg, Former Prime Minister of Britannia

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[Greater Cosmicium]

Persia, Judea, Arabia begin bombing Zaydi capital of Sana'a, "will not stop until the city is 100% destroyed or the Zaydi Imam surrenders unconditionally."

"Too bad you can't get to 100% destruction, there'll be at least one brick you'll need to completely obliterate..." - A Cosmician Press Agency journalist

MESSAGE FROM THE GOVERNMENT OF THE UNIVERSAL EMPIRE OF GREATER COSMICIUM
21:00 GST, 26/09/1072918
ADW LEVEL 10 IN EFFECT
The government of Cosmicium has reported numerous attacks with dimensional-level weapons on our country's inhabited planets from unknown sources, causing 3x10³⁰ casualties over the last 24 hours.
These attacks have overrun all defensive measures taken by the Cosmician military, and the Space Fleet is prepared to take radical measures to keep the country intact, at any cost.
Due to the inability to effectively handle this escalating situation, from now until 21:00 GST, 27/09/1072918, the entire country is currently at Anomalous Defense Warning Level 10.
All citizens should immediately evacuate to secure bunkers, placed on most Cosmician planets and in deep space, rated to withstand ADW 10 events.

If still functioning, the Cosmician government, and your regional government will update on the situation in an hour.
Long live the Emperor, long live Greater Cosmicium!

[Free Paris]

"I cannot fathom how three quintillion^[1] lives would just... die in less than a day. Huh, maybe Dzhugashvili* was right after all. With these ontales^[2], death becomes less of a tragedy and more of a statistic."
- Generalmajor Frithric Chapman, Officer in the English Kingly Heere, Limbman of the Rede of Seven

[1] 10³⁰ in the long scale, equivalent to a "nonillion" in the short scale
[2] numbers, amounts

*referring to the quote "The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic." widely misattributed to Joseph Stalin

[Redeemed Britannia]

"Given how quickly the Germans produced their own automatic rifles, I'm just surprised it took until four years after the war for English regiments to begin modernising their equipment. Still though, given you're about to be entrenched in the Cold War -with Russia of all countries? How are they even standing that soon after the war?- you'd better hurry up with the other divisions, no?"

Henric Smithson, Briton

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[Neo-Western East Korea]

....definitely not going well for the polish anymore, while we still hope they can pull off a reversal, we will have to begin planning a reconciliation with the British government.
-Foreign Minister, Pyoyter Nakiovich


In international news, French Military Governance and German Socialist Republic form alliance against “Dread Albion” in wake of skirmishes within the Mediterranean due to a failed battleship trade deal. Prime Minister John Hamm has not made an official statement as of today, but aides have reportedly heard him state “As expected, the French once again ally with a union of devils and communists, another glob of spit launched upon our relations ever since the military “Took Charge” after WW1”.
No other major powers have made statements on the matter, but many are expecting both the Anarchist Union of Russia and the United States to weigh in on the side of France, many also predicting Spain, China, and Poland to support Britain. if conflict breaks out.
In other international news, Itallian government is coup’d by Pro-British faction, expected to be coup’d by Pro-French faction within next 3 hours.

[Bengal and Assam]

"Indeed... I remember how the Frenchies tried to sabotage the Brits in the 80s, when Britain went Brexit, and tried to charter their way into a unified Commonwealth... Nothing good ever comes out from the damned Frogs"
-ye old Kawanese

[Redeemed Britannia]

"I'm somewhat worried what the ramifications of giving the New Hollanders their own nuclear submarines might be. It could make them uppity enough to want independence of all things, and we can't have that now can't we? Besides, they already have the Kingdom's submarines in their bases, what more could they want?"

The Right Honourable Hereward Sachsen, 1st Earl of Cherbourg, Former Prime Minister of Britannia

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[Tremulo]

Mayor unveils statue of Persian Emperor Behruz III in Jerusalem. Behruz III had allowed the Jews to buy land and settle in the Holy Land beginning in 1848.

"Well, that's rather nice. I'm so used to hearing about statues being torn down, that to hear one is being put up is music to my ears!"

- A random Hoosier

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[Sulivannia]

Tremulo gifted five dwarf cassowaries for Safari Park

"Not long until they rip the visitors to shreds when they grow up!"

Reint Mareuslimon (11), primary schooler from Tremond, Colnear

For full headlines, 'News [Full]' is found in the uppermost box. Otherwise, the condensed headlines are found in the scrollable box of my signature.

[Neo-Western East Korea]

Seems to be rather cold over in Sulivanna, perhaps we could exploit that by sending over some materials? We’ll have to consider it in the future if the temperature continues being so low.
-Last remaining Neo-Korean economist, attempting to make any money for the state.


In other news, attempts to create a Dam within the Nakong river is stalled, as entire engineering crew of 50 (and the 500 slave laborers) are executed for “Crimes against the state” after they inform the Great Leader that they can’t build bunkers under a dam, new “more loyal” dam crew will be assembled within next 3-25 business years, according to government