Your Reaction to AN's News (III)

[Val Grazia]

Fleet of Ultimate Retribution, the Interstellar Confederate Navy's largest naval-spatial formation, has been embroiled in battle with the Great Khan Na'Ek's personal fleet in the frontier system of Theemin for 96 days now. "Neither side shows any sign of faltering" - Fleet Admiral Laframboise.

"I cannot possibly imagine being embroiled in a naval battle for 96 days. Hell, I can't even imagine a land battle lasting for that long. Perhaps, a siege could last that long, but even then the defenders would have to have a very secure influx of resources to sustain themselves. Truly, such a battle must be of a scale unimaginable to the average soul."
A random Grazic sergeant

[Nation of Hanguk]

A debate has consumed the Val'Kinth, as the nobles of the realm try to figure out how to deal with the deteriorating war situation. Welfgarth I has, against the advice of the Val'Kinth, decided to personally take command of the Grazic forces at the Nuszoraziki (South March). He believes that his military experience will help turn the tide of the war in the south.

"Are the nobles really the best strategists for war? These decisions should be left to experienced military technocrats, not just some dumb aristocratic nonsense. Kudos to Welfgarth I for taking initiative already and may the victory be yours."

Lieutenant General PAK Chong-ri, Royal Corean Army

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[Redeemed Britannia]

"You will not believe how utterly refreshing it is to hear that a city is protesting because the local government didn't follow basic health guidelines, rather than because it did. With this bloody epidemic that's been breaking out all over the multiverse, it's like humans have regressed to their 17th century mindset."

The Right Honourable Hereward Sachsen, 1st Earl of Cherbourg, Former Prime Minister of Britannia

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[Estado Americano de Espana]

"Ah great, capital ships close to somebody's capital. Fun. The US Navy did that a long time, I wonder what the results'll be this time?"

- Doctor Garcia Martinez, UME Paramedic.

[Neo-Western East Korea]

A foolish choice by Russia, letting 2 giants fight within the backyard, but then again, Russia has made no shortage of poor choices and this is only the most recent. Personally I am hoping China wins, Japan has been a thorn in everyone’s side for far too long.
-Pyoyter Nakiovich, head of the Foregin Ministry.


In other news, new initiative from Russia proclaims an “Anarchic Construction Centre” will be created for the purposes of building “Robots for the Usage of the people”, in an almost unanimous vote by every commune (the one dissenter, Jolkian Nakisn wanted bigger robots). In local news, Neo-Korean newspaper hosts rated most likely to be kidnapped by the secret polic- do you hear something?

[Mennish Riche]

"I know quite a few androids who would be offended to hear humans were planning on building their brethren 'for the usage of the people'. Even aside, how is this anarchist community in Russia planning on coughing up the credits for a robot assembly yard that large?"

Jacob Hieronymus Kettler, Xenologist

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[Bengal and Assam]

"From my knowledge about star trek, you'd be better off getting better controls for your ships... those switches literally emitted lightning..."
-your avg Kawanese drunk

[Val Grazia]

"Now I may not know what these 'submarines' are, but they seem to clearly have great power if they are causing so much fuss. Anyway, I believe that since Japan is getting worked up then that clearly shows that war is inevitable. If they were truly in favour of peace, then they would have no problems with this deal."
A random merchant captain

[Tremulo]

Welfgarth I has, against the advice of the Val'Kinth, decided to personally take command of the Grazic forces at the Nuszoraziki (South March).

"A bit of a gamble, but if he comes through it could pay off big time! I'm hoping he comes through, because things'll probably get messy if he doesn't..."

- A Hoosier fantasy enthusiast on Reddit

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[Redeemed Britannia]

"I don't get it, why are progressives applauding a move as dumb as inserting pseudoscience and homeopathy in a different colour into the nurseries? I realise some of these numbskulls care more about long-extinct Amerindian tribes and New Hollandic wildlings not having their fee-fees hurt, but surely the safety and health of people stuck in those nurseries is more important? Even to them?"

The Right Honourable Hereward Sachsen, 1st Earl of Cherbourg, Former Prime Minister of Britannia

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[Laka Strolistandiler]

Congratulations to the Rhodesians for another glorious victory over the dishonorable hordes of enemies, preserving peace and order in the region! We will be watching this conflict very closely, keen on any possible future developments in the matter.

---

An incident which could only happen here.

A comical yet somewhat disturbing incident has struck Laka recently, when a local TV station has had accidentally played a tape of EAS for Contingency Plan #473C-I, which is, essentially, another version of Lakan suicidal patriotism. What followed was a horrifyingly disturbing tape, supposedly dating back to 1973, notifying citizens that “due to an unfortunate sequence of events Laka Strolistandiler was forced to surrender to their enemy _____”, noting, amongst many other things that “your government has had assured that the enemy shall not take our lands, our riches and, now, time to protect your souls and dignity”. Essentially, what followed was a brief instruction on how one should commit suicide in order to minimize ones body’s nutritional and transplantant value, as well as notes that “you should take care of your animals and children- the smallest comrades before you TAKE ACTION yourself”. Although some of the citizens explained concerns of that (because while the nation is indeed preparing for a nuclear war with US and Sanhanna which might be the reason for this message playing), no other EAS services, such as police sirens, radios and loudspeakers have played the message. Neither the less, a considerable amount of people that were listening to the message have had indeed “TAKEN ACTION” before another tape was played, apologizing for any inconveniences and noting that the previous message is declared null and void. What has prevented mass suicide in the matter is the comically complex way in which the message has had instructed the listeners to kill themselves, however, without this part casualties would be been amongst hundreds if not thousands. The men responsible for the mishap have had committed honorable death shortly after.

[Bengal and Assam]

"They did something similar over here in the 80s when the Pro-Commonwealth Countercoup happened... Something like "The Brits are Coming", and we musn't let ourself fall under the boot of a foreign monarch... Only 20 people died, because most people overall were loyalists over that fascist Junta that sullied our Government House back then."
-ye olde Kawanese

[Mennish Riche]

"I remember that Royal Visit being meant to happen at least two years ago, and yet the number just goes up from 2020 to 2021 and now 2022... does the royalty just. not care about its loyal Bengal subjects? Or is it the royal visit of 2022, after the ones in the previous years ended successfully?"

Jacob Hieronymus Kettler, Xenologist

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[Mennish Riche]

/bump

[Augsburg-Fugger]

"Unless it's a Seige, Which seems Extremely unlikely, as those are Associated with the Medieval Era, What battle would EVER last 96 Days without faltering? Such an Unrealistic Scenario, What Science Fiction Writer made this world up and Tried to pass it off as Real?"
-Lord Otto Von Fugger II

[Tsarstvo Alyaski]

Archlords Albrecht Fugger and Olbrecht Fugger Seen Drunk at a Bar Outside of Schloss Wellenberg

Least drunk Southern Germans
:trollge:

---

BN, there are three news stories in my sig.

[Neo-Western East Korea]

The empire survived in Alaska? Joyous day! We finally have someone to appoint to the royal throne!
-Monarchist Citizen, before being reminded that no one wanted to leave Alaska for Neo-Korea

In other news, attempted bombing within Omiskan, as left-Anarchist Nokan Dammenind attempts to blow up governmental center. The man was only caught due to an anonymous call telling an official to “not go to the meeting ground tommorow”, before the message was intercepted by the secret police and the official was interrogated for the location of the sender. Nokan was found holding a match next to 50 barrels of mildly damp gunpowder, preventing his suicide bomb attempt from working.

[Octahedralia]

"blowing up important entities isn't very epic"
-????, September 22 2021

Octahedralian News Network
Forum 7 Divsion

EMERGENCY UPDATE
Submitted by the request of the Octahedralian Defence Ministry

OCTAHEDRALIA HAS FOUND ITSELF NVLOVED IN A RAPIDLY ESCALATING MILITARY CONFLICT KNOWN AS THE:
Sixth Epic War

OCTAHEDRALIA IS NOW AT
ODRB 3: War

Due to how rapidly this conflict is escalating, expect an upgrade to ODRB 4 within 24 hours. (ODBR 6 = Nuclear War)

[Mennish Riche]

"Unless it's a Seige, Which seems Extremely unlikely, as those are Associated with the Medieval Era, What battle would EVER last 96 Days without faltering? Such an Unrealistic Scenario, What Science Fiction Writer made this world up and Tried to pass it off as Real?"
-Lord Otto Von Fugger II

(Almost every major battle in WWI after 1914?! The Battle of Atlantic, kinda?)

AN: "Though a nation being at war is by no means surprising to me, I must admit the name of this conflict is entirely strange. Who would name a conflict 'Epic War' and why would you continue naming conflicts that after the first one?"

Fleet Admiral Jean-Pierre Laframboise, Baron Laframboise, Officer in the Interstellar Confederate Navy

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[Potenzia]

RIP Moscow & India

[Mennish Riche]

/bump

[Free Paris]

"As a man of my time, I cannot fathom the thought of great fleets clashing in the emptiness of the Worldroom^[1]. However, I can say with good sickerhood^[2] that this 'Khan', if he were anything like Dzhugashvili, would stop at nothing but the most awful^[3] of wonders^[4]. After all, if he had more bodies than you had gunstones^[5], he could only sit and wait."
- Generaloverst Günther von Bromberg, Officer in the Deoch Caserly Heere, Limbman of the Rede of Seven

[1] (Outer) Space
[2] certainty
[3] used here in its original meaning, "inspiring awe"
[4] miracles
[5] bullets, ammunition, but may also mean "firepower" in general

[Nation of Hanguk]

Two thieves fastnimmed in market near Bastille; General Elijah Beloff, happening to be there, offrightens said thieves with "big iron on his hip"

\

"How long will this occupation be? The French are so defeated so much that their lives are already at your mercy. You can't even afford them their basic human rights? Shame, for shame."

The Honourable MIN Seo-jin Former Commissioner of Human Rights

[Augsburg-Fugger]

"I don't Believe that being free from the West makes you Necessarily Evil, but, If Corea is genuinely Evil, Tariffs and Boycotts should be Levied."
-Lord Otto Von Fugger II, Lord of the Realms of Augsburg-Fugger, Burgermeister of Augsburg.

[Reich of the New World Order]

How strange that lords would be seen drinking in public,such behavior should be punished. Normally high ranking officials in the reich are not permitted to drink or eat. Im not sure how many of them are still alive
Archon Nirin