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911 what's your not emergency?

The place to relax, unwind, share a joke, and generally goof off.

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Tremulo
Attaché
 
Posts: 72
Founded: Feb 02, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Tremulo » Thu Jul 29, 2021 9:59 am

Get a net, a knife and a grill. In the end, your replacement will be gone and you'll have free dinner.

Help, I'm stuck in a corn maze!
Indiana 2, Island Boogaloo
Firefly News: Otter population in New Patoka Lake up 25% from last year according to census, President Johnson to judge venison cooking festival, Progressive Party conflicted about Green Party in latest meeting, Collectivist Action Party's leader to face life in prison for orchestration of riots in Wabash

Usually vibing on F7. Literally just an average dude, nothing special.
Mainly focusing on expanding trivia and culture factbooks, attempting an emphasis on humor.
This nation represents my views for the most part, with a few differences. I don't think there's any unironic anti-centrists, lol.
NS stats and policies have been shot out of the canonicity cannon.
Also, Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes is very pogchamp.
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User avatar
Greater Liyue
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: Jun 05, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Greater Liyue » Thu Jul 29, 2021 11:20 am

Find an opening and start eating. You will have a full belly and an escape route.

Help! We are out of chocolate milk in New Pyongyang!
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User avatar
Perikuresu
Minister
 
Posts: 2019
Founded: Jan 02, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Perikuresu » Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:14 am

Just switch to a Market Capitalist economy system

So this one is from Yugoslavia:
Help the EU gave me a deal that lets me join the EU immediately but I have to dump Socialism
A Pacific nation or a MT liberalwank nation whose main premise is composed on a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities
NS Stats looked at Nightmarchers and died- Read my factbooks (NS Policies are canon though)
I comment on F7 way too much
Aerilia is lying! They're not a unicorn, they're a Welsh Dragon!
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User avatar
Charoskania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1260
Founded: Sep 25, 2020
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Charoskania » Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:24 am

Join and Commit Revolution. The French would be excited.




HELP! A CHEESEMAN IS EATING CHEESE AND IS CHASING DOWN MY FRIEND
This is a Message from the Monarch Queen Anne Solovia Brachton Maniar

A Class 1 Civilization according to this index.
Code: Select all
Latest News: Charoskania withdraws from the IHC and founds the ACO|Government announces threat of nuclear war|Royal Family hurried to National Vault
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User avatar
Tremulo
Attaché
 
Posts: 72
Founded: Feb 02, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Tremulo » Thu Aug 05, 2021 5:11 am

Don't worry, just call an exorcist.

Help, my friend has been shucking corn for the last five hours and will not stop!
Indiana 2, Island Boogaloo
Firefly News: Otter population in New Patoka Lake up 25% from last year according to census, President Johnson to judge venison cooking festival, Progressive Party conflicted about Green Party in latest meeting, Collectivist Action Party's leader to face life in prison for orchestration of riots in Wabash

Usually vibing on F7. Literally just an average dude, nothing special.
Mainly focusing on expanding trivia and culture factbooks, attempting an emphasis on humor.
This nation represents my views for the most part, with a few differences. I don't think there's any unironic anti-centrists, lol.
NS stats and policies have been shot out of the canonicity cannon.
Also, Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes is very pogchamp.
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User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:08 am

Tell him to shuck off.

Help! My library card has a bar code on it.
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User avatar
Burger Kings Kingdom
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 10
Founded: Nov 28, 2017
Corporate Police State

Postby Burger Kings Kingdom » Sat Aug 07, 2021 11:47 am

If your library card has a barcode, drop everything and leave your town to find a library with a barcode scanner.


Help! Life gave me lemons, but no sugar. This lemonade sucks!
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User avatar
Inner Planets
Attaché
 
Posts: 96
Founded: Jul 09, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Inner Planets » Sat Aug 07, 2021 11:51 am

Burger Kings Kingdom wrote:If your library card has a barcode, drop everything and leave your town to find a library with a barcode scanner.


Help! Life gave me lemons, but no sugar. This lemonade sucks!

Using onions, bribe life to give you sugar as well.

Help! My coupon expired 3 seconds ago! Now I can't buy my sandwich!
Last edited by Inner Planets on Sat Aug 07, 2021 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
>( . _ . )<
Axolotl :)
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User avatar
Neo-Western East Korea
Diplomat
 
Posts: 562
Founded: Jun 15, 2021
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Neo-Western East Korea » Sat Aug 07, 2021 11:54 am

Spend 20 years developing a time machine


Help, my loaf of bread just joined a terrorist organization!
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User avatar
Burger Kings Kingdom
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 10
Founded: Nov 28, 2017
Corporate Police State

Postby Burger Kings Kingdom » Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:10 pm

Are you really gonna let some bread push you around? Get out the butter, and terrorize it back!


Help! There's soup on my flies!
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User avatar
Meebritolia
Secretary
 
Posts: 28
Founded: Jul 03, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Meebritolia » Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:12 pm

utilize obamium fuel to de-materialize the soup

my pet leeches are eating my pizza
Last edited by Meebritolia on Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
=THE EMPIRE OF MEEBRITOLIA=
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User avatar
Vikanias
Minister
 
Posts: 2119
Founded: May 01, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Vikanias » Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:13 pm

Ok you gotta listen to me here you shoot the waiter, simple.

Help! I’ve found out that I’ve made of Calcium! And people who disagree with me have Calcium!
“As he died to make man holy, let us die to make man free.”

LIKES: Israel, Progessive Conservatism, Enviromental protections, small business, Newfoundland, Crab, Christianity, Democracy, Trust Busting, Pierre Poilievre, Guns, Dinosaurs, Star Wars, the Military, Pacificism, Nuclear Power

DISLIKES: Palestine, Communism, Pollution, Big Business, Quebec, CEO fat cats, Drag shows, Extreme Atheism, Authoritarianism, Pacifism, Warmongering, Trudeau, Monopolies, Gun Control
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User avatar
Nova Catania
Diplomat
 
Posts: 950
Founded: Feb 14, 2021
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nova Catania » Mon Aug 09, 2021 9:28 am

Okaaay…. *dial tone*

Help! Help! It’s, It’s, Aaaaahh- *dial tone*
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User avatar
Kors
Envoy
 
Posts: 287
Founded: Dec 02, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Kors » Mon Aug 09, 2021 9:32 am

Sending Paramedics right away.

911, Do you wanna magharita? come over to have a nice drink.
Hello. I'm Kors. Welcome to my sig.It's a normal sig, a completely ordinary sig, an indifferent sig. You won't find anything different in this sig. MY LEADER AND MILITARY ARE IN MY OVERVIEW FACTBOOK!!!!!!!
If any post is written about you, unless it is not relating to you or of very low effort, you do NOT have the right to /stillme anybody. This is ridiculous.
news
Planned obsolescence banned in Kors : Several unknown satellites crash land into highest mountain in Iceland : Korsian welfare programs cut spending by 50% : Terrorist attacks on the Korsian governmental building result in the enaction of the emergency measures act : Carbon monoxide threat in southern Kors due to wildfires : Giant potato rolls off and chases farmer off mountain into the city, crushing and mortally injuring 3
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User avatar
Boring People
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1693
Founded: Jun 25, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Boring People » Sun Aug 15, 2021 11:23 pm

I’ll pass, but could you deliver some water? I’m on the clock for a few more hours.
Help! I’m about to sneeze!
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User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:01 am

Stay calm. Lie down and keep your nose elevated until the paramedics arrive.


Help! I dialed the wrong number!
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User avatar
Catacomb Dwellers
Envoy
 
Posts: 271
Founded: Sep 10, 2014
Anarchy

Postby Catacomb Dwellers » Sun Aug 22, 2021 10:20 pm

Please hang up and try again.
Help! I stubbed my toe so hard that it screamed in pain!
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User avatar
Astolfotopia
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Feb 01, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Astolfotopia » Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:41 am

cry about it


Help! I accidentally learnt latin
Founding Date: 1202
Current Year: none anymore
Capital: Palmetto
Leader: Matija Colombo
Government Type: Federal Representative Parliamentary Socialist Democracy
Official State Language: Montianitie Latin
Anthem: https://youtu.be/zyh_OVeQZH0
Currency: Montianitie Mediderraneom Moneda (MMM)
Timezone: GMT+2

Age: 16
Name: Monti
Gender: Non-binary
Sexuality: Pansexual
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User avatar
Perikuresu
Minister
 
Posts: 2019
Founded: Jan 02, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Perikuresu » Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:47 am

Ita, cum scientia non fuerit consecratum iterato consecratur Romani Imperii, ex Anglia in Iraq et Mauritaniam Ægyptum, et vincet agros usque ad cornua altaris Africa, Hiberia, Caucasiasque refert Parthis evenisse, qua Scythiae gentes, Scotiae, Germania, North Africa et extruxerat Coloniae deductae apud Indos occidentales, et Brazil Guyanas


Help I hate ghouls
A Pacific nation or a MT liberalwank nation whose main premise is composed on a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities
NS Stats looked at Nightmarchers and died- Read my factbooks (NS Policies are canon though)
I comment on F7 way too much
Aerilia is lying! They're not a unicorn, they're a Welsh Dragon!
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User avatar
Prusmia
Attaché
 
Posts: 77
Founded: Nov 14, 2019
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Prusmia » Mon Aug 23, 2021 7:44 am

Perikuresu wrote:Ita, cum scientia non fuerit consecratum iterato consecratur Romani Imperii, ex Anglia in Iraq et Mauritaniam Ægyptum, et vincet agros usque ad cornua altaris Africa, Hiberia, Caucasiasque refert Parthis evenisse, qua Scythiae gentes, Scotiae, Germania, North Africa et extruxerat Coloniae deductae apud Indos occidentales, et Brazil Guyanas


Help I hate ghouls

Well, I mean the apocalypse isn't scheduled for another 70 or so years so you shouldn't have to deal with many of them.

Help, I'm kind of stuck in the bottom of a well in the 13th century.
She/Her

| |||||||||||||||||||| | |||||||||||||||||||| | |||||||||||||||||||| |

| Former Vice President & Space Cartographer of the New World Union, Current Minister of Foreign of Foreign Affairs & Diplomat of Forest |
Subject to change without official notice, or even unofficial notice; we're winging it.This product is meant for educational purposes only as students are trapped in classes and can't escape. Any resemblance to real, artificial or simulated persons, living or dead, will be news to us. Avoid contact with skin: levitate. Be sure each item is properly endorsed by a major political party. Your signature is not an admission of guilt, though we'll try and convince the jury otherwise:

Keep away from fire or flames or nuclear detonations.
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User avatar
Aurevbush
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 391
Founded: Apr 06, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Aurevbush » Mon Aug 23, 2021 7:48 am

Prusmia wrote:
Perikuresu wrote:Ita, cum scientia non fuerit consecratum iterato consecratur Romani Imperii, ex Anglia in Iraq et Mauritaniam Ægyptum, et vincet agros usque ad cornua altaris Africa, Hiberia, Caucasiasque refert Parthis evenisse, qua Scythiae gentes, Scotiae, Germania, North Africa et extruxerat Coloniae deductae apud Indos occidentales, et Brazil Guyanas


Help I hate ghouls

Well, I mean the apocalypse isn't scheduled for another 70 or so years so you shouldn't have to deal with many of them.

Help, I'm kind of stuck in the bottom of a well in the 13th century.

I suppose I could help put its hard to find good rope in the middle of the vast forest here. It might take a while.

HALP I just realized lighting my own underwear on fire was a bad idea and now it buuurrrrns!
When a deadly engineered virus poised to kill all of intelligent life, humanity paused its millenial feud with its counterpart species to combat it. 5 years later, with 23% of the world's population vanished, the world continues its stride towards the vast void.
young adult American male, awkward, and metalhead
THE GREATER REPUBLIC OF AUREVBUSH
Own Stats, Own Schedule

ACBC: As the first quarter closes, experts note a 2% drop in the total GDP.|The entire media landscape facelifts as a result of personalized immersive movies. The era of old cinema commences as the last movie theater in Aurevbush is shuttered indefinetely.
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User avatar
Gonswanza
Minister
 
Posts: 3133
Founded: Aug 13, 2021
Father Knows Best State

Postby Gonswanza » Mon Aug 23, 2021 7:53 am

Well sir, I suppose your pants truly are on fire! SSSMOKIN' in fact!

911, help, there's a weird cat outside and it won't stop staring at me! BLINK!
Praise our glorious leader Laura Ortiz!
Yea, I sell things. Lots of things. KTO Member!
Amistad Declaration signatory! Down with slavery!
[GNN] Check [hyperlink blocked] for further instructions or [frequency blocked]. /// Finland holds off Russian advance, Baltic sea turned into a "bathtub from hell". /// Strange signals from space, likely a dysfunctional probe /// New body armor rolling off the line, onto Gonswanzan soldiers /// Canada declares war against the US after a bloody coup. /// Japan deploys infantry to Korea, post-unification.
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User avatar
Rogue River
Secretary
 
Posts: 27
Founded: Feb 15, 2021
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Rogue River » Mon Aug 23, 2021 8:00 am

Toss it into a volcano! Should fix the problem!



There is a wall in front of me! I cannot navigate past it!
THE UNITED REPUBLIC OF ROGUE RIVER
Do Not Attack, All Is Well, All Who Attack Are Defeated
I (rarely) use the horrific NS stats! Come on! Punch me, I'm right here!
Also I cannot tell if this nation aligns with my views, it probably doesn't anymore.
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User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:56 am

Rogue River wrote:There is a wall in front of me! I cannot navigate past it!

Speak, friend, and enter.


Help! Alphonse and Fish have joined the orcs! Fish for the people-eating and Alphonse for the hats.
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User avatar
Catholic Church Incorporated
Civilian
 
Posts: 0
Founded: Aug 29, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Catholic Church Incorporated » Sun Aug 29, 2021 7:59 am

Fatatatutti wrote:
Rogue River wrote:There is a wall in front of me! I cannot navigate past it!

Speak, friend, and enter.


Help! Alphonse and Fish have joined the orcs! Fish for the people-eating and Alphonse for the hats.

OOF them

**************
Help, I called 911
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