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911 what's your not emergency?

The place to relax, unwind, share a joke, and generally goof off.

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The Imagination Animals
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1233
Founded: Mar 27, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Imagination Animals » Thu Jul 15, 2021 4:09 am

Just go buy a new bed that is organized and sleep on that one.

My light isn’t turning on
IC Name: Crossoveria
NS Stats are NOT canon!
This nation doesn't represent my views

Sign up for our embassy program | Ask me questions here
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NEWS :: Supreme Leader Waldemar Rochester meets with foreign leadership to discuss future plans in regards to the relations between the two counties

User avatar
Alezian Union
Envoy
 
Posts: 311
Founded: Apr 30, 2021
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Alezian Union » Thu Jul 15, 2021 7:39 am

We recommend enjoying the darkness. We think it's kinda relaxing in some way.

Help for some reason my charging cable won't work
THE ALEZIAN UNION

Member of the WMCAverse
Waisnor / Malta Comino Gozo / Carrelie / ALEZIAN UNION

Read The Alezian Union: The Comic HERE!

Winner of Worldvision 94 and 103, Runner-up of Worldvision 83 (through NA), 104, and 105, WHF 55, and JWHF 9

User avatar
Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5496
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Capitalizt

Postby Jutsa » Thu Jul 15, 2021 8:54 am

"Buy a new one. That's what capitalism's for."



"Hello, is this Pizza Castle?"
Last edited by Jutsa on Thu Jul 15, 2021 8:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
You're welcome to telegram me any questions you have of the game. Unless I've CTE'd (ceased to exist) - then you physically can't do that.

Helpful* Got Issues? Links (Not Pinned In Forum) *mostly: >Personal List of Issue Ideas | >List of Known Missing Issues/Options | >Sacara's Issue Database |
>Trotterdam's Policy Tracker with a secret | >Hidden Bonus Threads Directory | >Val's Bonus Stats | >Fauzjhia's Easter Egg Guide | >My Joke Drafts List | >Sherp's Author Rankings

Other Nifty Links: >NS Newcomers' Guide by Amerion | >NSindex | >IA's WA Proposal Office | >Major Discord Links | >TNP Card Query | >Trivia | >Cards Against NS | >Polls

"Remember, licking doorknobs is perfectly legal on other planets." - Ja Luıñaí

User avatar
Tremulo
Attaché
 
Posts: 72
Founded: Feb 02, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Tremulo » Wed Jul 21, 2021 8:54 am

"No, this is Burger King."

"Quick, what's the difference between a crocodile and an alligator!"
Indiana 2, Island Boogaloo
Firefly News: Otter population in New Patoka Lake up 25% from last year according to census, President Johnson to judge venison cooking festival, Progressive Party conflicted about Green Party in latest meeting, Collectivist Action Party's leader to face life in prison for orchestration of riots in Wabash

Usually vibing on F7. Literally just an average dude, nothing special.
Mainly focusing on expanding trivia and culture factbooks, attempting an emphasis on humor.
This nation represents my views for the most part, with a few differences. I don't think there's any unironic anti-centrists, lol.
NS stats and policies have been shot out of the canonicity cannon.
Also, Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes is very pogchamp.

User avatar
Stephaniesland
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 395
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Democratic Socialists

Postby Stephaniesland » Wed Jul 21, 2021 8:59 am

"Go ask Google."

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?"
Confederate Republic of Stephaniesland
Timeline and Continuity Reset Imminent
MT/PMT
he/she

Celebrating 2 years on NS.
Kartakis's Resident Bi Syndie and NB
News: Check Universe CRS0004.63 for News on Stephaniesland

User avatar
Kyldellian Halon
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 10
Founded: Jul 06, 2013
Democratic Socialists

Postby Kyldellian Halon » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:20 am

"No! This is a emergency hotline and you are wasting our time! Begone!"

"Help! That mean little kid pulling the little fly's wings and it scream in pain!"
Last edited by Kyldellian Halon on Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:25 am, edited 3 times in total.
You can not stop us all, for we are many.
Kyldellian Laws|Kyldellian Political Parties

User avatar
The Imagination Animals
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1233
Founded: Mar 27, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Imagination Animals » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:25 am

“I’m not a doctor. Go find a person that is actually one.

“My parents read “the Ugly Barnicle” to me and I’m scared of the ending.”
IC Name: Crossoveria
NS Stats are NOT canon!
This nation doesn't represent my views

Sign up for our embassy program | Ask me questions here
-----------
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NEWS :: Supreme Leader Waldemar Rochester meets with foreign leadership to discuss future plans in regards to the relations between the two counties

User avatar
Tremulo
Attaché
 
Posts: 72
Founded: Feb 02, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Tremulo » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:28 am

"Read a Lovecraft novel, the ending won't be scary afterwards."

"A Nigerian prince gave me full access to his bank account, what now?"
Indiana 2, Island Boogaloo
Firefly News: Otter population in New Patoka Lake up 25% from last year according to census, President Johnson to judge venison cooking festival, Progressive Party conflicted about Green Party in latest meeting, Collectivist Action Party's leader to face life in prison for orchestration of riots in Wabash

Usually vibing on F7. Literally just an average dude, nothing special.
Mainly focusing on expanding trivia and culture factbooks, attempting an emphasis on humor.
This nation represents my views for the most part, with a few differences. I don't think there's any unironic anti-centrists, lol.
NS stats and policies have been shot out of the canonicity cannon.
Also, Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes is very pogchamp.

User avatar
Greater Liyue
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: Jun 05, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Greater Liyue » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:28 am

Send no reply, he is trying to scam you.

Help! We're out of Kimchi on one of our army bases!
Last edited by Greater Liyue on Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Merimenea
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Jun 06, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Merimenea » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:32 am

Greater Liyue wrote:Send no reply, he is trying to scam you.

Help! We're out of Kimchi on one of our army bases!

Your soldiers will catch a mysterious infection due to malnutrition. Set the whole country on fire to prevent it.

Help, the Babadook is teaching me dance moves!
NS STATS NOT USED
Jewish-Italian | Zionist | LGBTQ+ | He/Him

User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:35 am

"Okay, just stay calm. Stay calm! FOR GOD'S SAKE, STAY CALM!!"



Help! The caps lock on my keyboard is stuck and everybody thinks I'm yelling at them!

User avatar
Tremulo
Attaché
 
Posts: 72
Founded: Feb 02, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Tremulo » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:42 am

"Make sure nothing is under control, if there is it could be messing with your computer."

Help, Karen has started spamming minion memes!
Indiana 2, Island Boogaloo
Firefly News: Otter population in New Patoka Lake up 25% from last year according to census, President Johnson to judge venison cooking festival, Progressive Party conflicted about Green Party in latest meeting, Collectivist Action Party's leader to face life in prison for orchestration of riots in Wabash

Usually vibing on F7. Literally just an average dude, nothing special.
Mainly focusing on expanding trivia and culture factbooks, attempting an emphasis on humor.
This nation represents my views for the most part, with a few differences. I don't think there's any unironic anti-centrists, lol.
NS stats and policies have been shot out of the canonicity cannon.
Also, Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes is very pogchamp.

User avatar
Greater Liyue
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: Jun 05, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Greater Liyue » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:51 am

Tell Karen you ARE the manager.

Help, we triggered the BTS Army when we hacked their live feed and replaced their music with Dark Ambition and North Korean marches! We may not have enough bullets per stan!

User avatar
Excel Point
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Jul 10, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Excel Point » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:55 am

Greater Liyue wrote:Help, we triggered the BTS Army when we hacked their live feed and replaced their music with Dark Ambition and North Korean marches! We may not have enough bullets per stan!

N... n... n-nuke 'em?

---

I put my brain in the oven and now it's melting!

User avatar
Snowish Republic
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 20
Founded: Feb 16, 2021
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Snowish Republic » Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:58 am

Can you still think?
-
I'm out of chocolate milk!

User avatar
Imperium of Dragonia
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 114
Founded: Jan 05, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Imperium of Dragonia » Wed Jul 21, 2021 10:00 am

Turn the oven on and off, to see if it gets your brain out.

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Help me! The cat is chanting in Latin again!
Ze mod double standard iz prevalent
Scomagia wrote:
Farnhamia wrote:Do not call for the killing of people here. I'm sure you meant it as a joke. It wasn't funny.

It was funny, actually.

NSG: Where you can joke as an actual communist about "liquidating" the bourgeoisie but a joke about assassinating a strongman tyrant is somehow a bridge too far. :roll:

User avatar
Tremulo
Attaché
 
Posts: 72
Founded: Feb 02, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Tremulo » Wed Jul 21, 2021 10:05 am

AAN: "McDonalds has them for cheap, resupply there."

AN: "Give him some armor and weaponry, he should stop once the Roman Empire is reunited."

Help, I've run out of cheese!
Indiana 2, Island Boogaloo
Firefly News: Otter population in New Patoka Lake up 25% from last year according to census, President Johnson to judge venison cooking festival, Progressive Party conflicted about Green Party in latest meeting, Collectivist Action Party's leader to face life in prison for orchestration of riots in Wabash

Usually vibing on F7. Literally just an average dude, nothing special.
Mainly focusing on expanding trivia and culture factbooks, attempting an emphasis on humor.
This nation represents my views for the most part, with a few differences. I don't think there's any unironic anti-centrists, lol.
NS stats and policies have been shot out of the canonicity cannon.
Also, Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes is very pogchamp.

User avatar
Nova Catania
Diplomat
 
Posts: 950
Founded: Feb 14, 2021
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nova Catania » Wed Jul 21, 2021 12:58 pm

“Run to the nearest desk or table, get under it, and curl up in the fetal position for several hours. Thumb sucking is optional”


“Help! Help! Help! My neighborhood is being overrun by…. HIPSTERS!”

User avatar
Alpine Democracy
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 50
Founded: Jan 15, 2017
New York Times Democracy

Postby Alpine Democracy » Tue Jul 27, 2021 9:44 pm

Just give them some avocado toast and they’ll go away.
Help! I’m about to sneeze!

User avatar
Aerlanica
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 155
Founded: Sep 11, 2020
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Aerlanica » Wed Jul 28, 2021 8:28 pm

bless you!

******

Help I'm being invaded for the tenth time this week!
Welcome to Aerlanica! the resident punching bag of the entire universe! God forsakes us, Hell hates us, Tech is stolen by us, fascists fear us and NS stats are ignored by us. Come for the democracy! Stay for the Fanaticism!

We don't "Steal Tech"

No no no no no.

We Secretly Transfer Equipment to Alternative Locations, and they just so happen to be your army's equipment...

...which we arbitrarily acquired without acquiring prior consent.

User avatar
Sauros
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 198
Founded: Apr 24, 2020
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Sauros » Wed Jul 28, 2021 10:36 pm

Pull a "Long March 2: Electric Boogaloo".

Once there was an Ugly Barnacle. It was so ugly, EVERYBODY died. The end.
Last edited by Sauros on Thu Jul 29, 2021 10:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST UNION OF SAUROS
_______________________________________________
Capital: Walkeri
Executive Leader / H.O.S: Allan R. Challenger
Population (Canon): 1.25 Billion
Scientifically- & technologically-advanced left-wing nation, with a pristine environment that just so happens to have dinosaurs (along with other associated prehistoric creatures).
_______________________________________________
Factbooks

User avatar
Nova Catania
Diplomat
 
Posts: 950
Founded: Feb 14, 2021
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nova Catania » Thu Jul 29, 2021 8:06 am

Your call is important to us. Please remain on the line until one of our operatives can assist you.



Yes, hello, it’s about time you picked up! I’ve been on hold since 1989!

User avatar
Perikuresu
Minister
 
Posts: 2019
Founded: Jan 02, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Perikuresu » Thu Jul 29, 2021 8:07 am

Wha? How? Why?


Help, I've been off this thread for soo long and idk when I last posted here!
A Pacific nation or a MT liberalwank nation whose main premise is composed on a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities
NS Stats looked at Nightmarchers and died- Read my factbooks (NS Policies are canon though)
I comment on F7 way too much
Aerilia is lying! They're not a unicorn, they're a Welsh Dragon!

User avatar
Imperial Rifta
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1797
Founded: Sep 15, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Imperial Rifta » Thu Jul 29, 2021 8:38 am

Me either

Help I swallowed a scarecrow
Low quality posts from 2020-2023
Eagles - Braves - Crimson Tide - Kraken

BREAKING: At approximately 8:00 AM on the morning of May 27, a team of eight gunmen entered a Riftan community square during a Summer’s Eve celebration. They opened fire, hitting over fifty people in minutes. Surveillance showed the gunmen inspect their damage before they divided into pairs and swept through the plaza and the adjoining markets. Two members of the team were killed by civilians. The first had his weapon stolen as he entered a building and was shot, and the second was his partner, who was killed by civilians using the same weapon. Roughly thirteen minutes after the shooting began, the gunmen entered a firefight with a two security officers before the shooters were apprehended.

User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Thu Jul 29, 2021 9:57 am

Don't worry. It will all come out in the end.

Help! I've been secretly replaced by a fish!

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