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911 what's your not emergency?

The place to relax, unwind, share a joke, and generally goof off.

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Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Sat May 15, 2021 8:06 am

Whatever you do, don't go near the edge!


Help! There's a duck fixing my toaster!
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User avatar
South Africa3
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 7
Founded: Jan 03, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby South Africa3 » Sun May 16, 2021 9:28 am

The only emergency I see is your use of unpaid duck labour.

Help! I accidentally raised Hendrik Verwoerd from the dead, and he's trying to sort my clothes by race!
Last edited by South Africa3 on Mon Sep 05, 2022 12:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
South African Republic
------------------------
------------------------
------------------------
| Overview
| Politics | Military
| President | Foreign Relations
Comprehensive retcon of A z a n i a
6 May 2023
✉ News: SADC heads of state reaffirm sanctions against Zimbabwe, accuse Zim government of "state terrorism" amid conviction of prominent opposition leader | City of Maseru unveils new monument to Lerotholi Letsie ahead of this year's Remembrance Day | Pan-African Parliament convenes an emergency session following failed ceasefire in Sudan, considers authorising a regional force to quell violence
Sig based off -Astoria's.
I don't know how the internet works, I just know it's evil. That's why I use a VPN.
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User avatar
Philosocom
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 43
Founded: Apr 24, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Philosocom » Sun May 16, 2021 3:58 pm

South Africa3 wrote:The only emergency I see is your use of unpaid duck labour.

Help! I accidentally raised Strom Thurmond from the dead, and he's trying to sort my clothes by race!

Call him out on your twitter dot com and on your facebook dot com

*********************
Help! When I turn the computer on, it turns off, and when I turn it off, it turns on!
This is an actual backlink outpost of an actual website, run by an actual person. Philosocom.com -- free-of-charge philosophical website by Mr. Tomasio Rubinshtein.
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User avatar
Goraria
Diplomat
 
Posts: 707
Founded: Sep 17, 2020
New York Times Democracy

Postby Goraria » Sun May 16, 2021 4:00 pm

Ask tech support not me.



Help I bought mule bits from some random person!
WIP Overview 8 value thing LeftValue RightValues very biased political compass
NS Backrooms Wayback Machine
NS stats shall be struck out null and void.
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(") This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your signature to help him destroy China.
A class 1.33 based on this index and a power comparator of 13.71 in this index.
You might find me in forum 7.
He/Him

Ninja’d NS Neighborhood
News: A man has fallen into a river in lego city start by building the rescue helicopter. I am of goods at spellings and of grammer. NSstats is cringe.
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User avatar
Euv
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Apr 21, 2021
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Euv » Sun May 16, 2021 10:28 pm

Sell the mule bits to some random person

Help I only have spoons for my toaster
Washington Resistance Army wrote:Because not everyone is privileged enough to be able to just move their entire lives? You do understand most Americans have no savings right?
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Nova Catania
Diplomat
 
Posts: 950
Founded: Feb 14, 2021
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nova Catania » Mon May 17, 2021 8:10 am

Toast the spoons then.


Help! I'm stuck in line at the DMV!!!
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User avatar
Perikuresu
Minister
 
Posts: 2016
Founded: Jan 02, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Perikuresu » Mon May 17, 2021 8:24 am

Sir just take a step to the South, welcome to South Korea

You've, been, trolled, you've been trolled and I forgot the rest of the lyrics
A Pacific nation or a MT liberalwank nation whose main premise is composed on a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities
NS Stats looked at Nightmarchers and died- Read my factbooks (NS Policies are canon though)
I comment on F7 way too much
Aerilia is lying! They're not a unicorn, they're a Welsh Dragon!
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User avatar
Earth Allies
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1189
Founded: May 18, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Earth Allies » Mon May 17, 2021 8:33 am

This is not a- sorry...that guy was not 911...he was just a jerk....

Help!!! I sent a Man to Earth-X(Where Nazis won WW2)
World Health Organization
Part of the ICDN
Earth-1: HRM is head of Starfleet
Earth-NS: NS Forum, HRM is President of Earth Allies

Chads Bizarre Adventure wrote:You always make the best RPs 8)

To boldly..[Insert something here]
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User avatar
Goraria
Diplomat
 
Posts: 707
Founded: Sep 17, 2020
New York Times Democracy

Postby Goraria » Mon May 17, 2021 1:27 pm

Did you put him where the nazis don’t have influence over?


Help I don’t know what to post but funny memes in the internet.
WIP Overview 8 value thing LeftValue RightValues very biased political compass
NS Backrooms Wayback Machine
NS stats shall be struck out null and void.
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(") This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your signature to help him destroy China.
A class 1.33 based on this index and a power comparator of 13.71 in this index.
You might find me in forum 7.
He/Him

Ninja’d NS Neighborhood
News: A man has fallen into a river in lego city start by building the rescue helicopter. I am of goods at spellings and of grammer. NSstats is cringe.
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User avatar
Aurevbush
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 391
Founded: Apr 06, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Aurevbush » Mon May 17, 2021 5:47 pm

You look pretty normal to me. Stop prank calling!

My plant died after not realizing peeing on them is not the same thing as watering them.
When a deadly engineered virus poised to kill all of intelligent life, humanity paused its millenial feud with its counterpart species to combat it. 5 years later, with 23% of the world's population vanished, the world continues its stride towards the vast void.
young adult American male, awkward, and metalhead
THE GREATER REPUBLIC OF AUREVBUSH
Own Stats, Own Schedule

ACBC: As the first quarter closes, experts note a 2% drop in the total GDP.|The entire media landscape facelifts as a result of personalized immersive movies. The era of old cinema commences as the last movie theater in Aurevbush is shuttered indefinetely.
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User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 25675
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Mon May 17, 2021 9:36 pm

Aurevbush wrote:You look pretty normal to me. Stop prank calling!

My plant died after not realizing peeing on them is not the same thing as watering them.

The police are coming to take you away, and the plant protection association is coming to take the rest of your plants out your custody

9-1-1, help, the voices coming from the television became louder after I turned the volume up, help
From Greek ancestry Orthodox Christian
I would love to commission infrastructure in Australia. If anyone knows how I, as a lay person, could do so, please TG me. I'm dead serious
We're closer in time to 2050 than 1950

Wonderful Song Quotes

18 Published Issues, 1 Published WA Resolution
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Imperial Rifta
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1797
Founded: Sep 15, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Imperial Rifta » Tue May 18, 2021 1:59 pm

You suffer the opposite of hearing loss

I watched Tv for 12 hours
Low quality posts from 2020-2023
Eagles - Braves - Crimson Tide - Kraken

BREAKING: Earlier this morning, a team of approximately eight gunmen entered a Riftan community plaza and mall where they opened fire, hitting over fifty people. The gunmen entered a firefight with a local Home Guard squad before being killed-in-action approximately fifty minutes after the carnage began. More news incoming as the RSB begins an investigation.
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User avatar
Burger Kings Kingdom
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 10
Founded: Nov 28, 2017
Corporate Police State

Postby Burger Kings Kingdom » Tue May 18, 2021 8:15 pm

Watch YouTube for 12 hours instead. It's just as brain-rotting as TV, but it's free and you can use an ad blocker.


Help! A dog wants to play fetch with me. That wouldn't normally be an issue, except that the dog's "stick" is a Machete.
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User avatar
Indo States
Minister
 
Posts: 3150
Founded: Jan 05, 2018
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Indo States » Sat May 22, 2021 8:25 am

Then find a Bone or a Ball Instead to play your dog a Fetch. That would be easier.



Help, Greg Heffley ruined my Life and I threw his Diaries Away because I befriended Rowley Jefferson. He's Already Hunting me around his house, I need cops to scold his father and arrest greg the wimpy kid.
Fédération Fatimanienné - Fatiman Federation
Country of Freedom and Education


I DO NOT USE NATIONSTATES STATS
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User avatar
Indiana Controlled Florida
Diplomat
 
Posts: 724
Founded: Feb 20, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Indiana Controlled Florida » Sat May 22, 2021 8:28 am

Make a diary about the situation, then publish it.

Help. My mom is dying because she ate too many peanuts.
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User avatar
Perikuresu
Minister
 
Posts: 2016
Founded: Jan 02, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Perikuresu » Sat May 22, 2021 8:30 am

Do you have enough money to afford healthcare?

Help I can't stand these amongus jokes anymore
A Pacific nation or a MT liberalwank nation whose main premise is composed on a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities
NS Stats looked at Nightmarchers and died- Read my factbooks (NS Policies are canon though)
I comment on F7 way too much
Aerilia is lying! They're not a unicorn, they're a Welsh Dragon!
Top
User avatar
Imperial Rifta
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1797
Founded: Sep 15, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Imperial Rifta » Sat May 22, 2021 5:46 pm

Me either my friend.

I am being tormented by telling corny dad jokes
Low quality posts from 2020-2023
Eagles - Braves - Crimson Tide - Kraken

BREAKING: Earlier this morning, a team of approximately eight gunmen entered a Riftan community plaza and mall where they opened fire, hitting over fifty people. The gunmen entered a firefight with a local Home Guard squad before being killed-in-action approximately fifty minutes after the carnage began. More news incoming as the RSB begins an investigation.
Top
User avatar
Aurevbush
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 391
Founded: Apr 06, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Aurevbush » Tue May 25, 2021 3:34 pm

Imperial Rifta wrote:Me either my friend.

I am being tormented by telling corny dad jokes

Hit him with an edgy son joke! Then run!

I know this may not sound like an emergency..but uhmmm....what's today's date?
When a deadly engineered virus poised to kill all of intelligent life, humanity paused its millenial feud with its counterpart species to combat it. 5 years later, with 23% of the world's population vanished, the world continues its stride towards the vast void.
young adult American male, awkward, and metalhead
THE GREATER REPUBLIC OF AUREVBUSH
Own Stats, Own Schedule

ACBC: As the first quarter closes, experts note a 2% drop in the total GDP.|The entire media landscape facelifts as a result of personalized immersive movies. The era of old cinema commences as the last movie theater in Aurevbush is shuttered indefinetely.
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User avatar
Ivelboria
Diplomat
 
Posts: 762
Founded: Dec 13, 2015
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Ivelboria » Tue May 25, 2021 3:43 pm

Ummmm.......

-finds glasses to read the time-

25th uh... May.... -hangs up-


Help, I can't find my car keys!
The Neviersian Federation ✩ De Fédération Neviersien
In Neviersia, your hard-earned tax money funds countryball art, endless paperwork, "free" healthcare and gawd-awful humour. Even the countryballs need therapy. What's not to love?
GOV.NE | About Neviersia | Wikipedia | Politics | States & Territories | Cities
- Born and bred in good ol' Yorkshire.
- I know my nation is called Ivelboria but I was too lazy to make a new nation. :P
- Chronic workaholic who keeps making factbooks...
- NS stats not used.
- The stars on my flag can spin either way.. :P
Economic: 0.63 (2016), 1.0 (2019), -0.63 (2021), -1.88 (2022)
Social: 0.97 (2016), -2.97 (2019), -3.28 (2021), -0.72 (2022)

1/5/21: Started using the GIF flag. For 3/4 years before that I used this one.

Spoilerception? Here's how!
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User avatar
Perikuresu
Minister
 
Posts: 2016
Founded: Jan 02, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Perikuresu » Tue Jun 01, 2021 1:14 am

Search "car keys" on google

Listen kid, I don't have much time, but something has happened at ----------------------------------
A Pacific nation or a MT liberalwank nation whose main premise is composed on a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities
NS Stats looked at Nightmarchers and died- Read my factbooks (NS Policies are canon though)
I comment on F7 way too much
Aerilia is lying! They're not a unicorn, they're a Welsh Dragon!
Top
User avatar
Tocan Isle
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 52
Founded: Dec 31, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Tocan Isle » Sun Jun 06, 2021 8:36 am

I'm tired today, give me like 30 minutes and then I'll come over. You'll totally be fine in that amount of time.

I thought that my dog ate my homework, but it turns out a crow used it to build its nest.
The Republic of Tocan Isle
"Atā an pèr oa ekelō"

My main nation is Erynia and Draconia

Want an embassy or consulate in Tocan Isle? Read this factbook and send me a telegram if you're interested.
Me: he/they, lgbtq, eco-socialist, lives in the US
Pro and Anti:
For: Eco-socialism, environmentalism, libertarian socialism, democratic socialism, democracy, progressivism
Neutral: Social democracy, social liberalism, communism
Against: Fascism, the far-right, racism, homophobia, sexism, TERFs, totalitarianism, capitalism, Stalinism, America
Vice-Delegate of SolarFlare
Member of LITA
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User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Sun Jun 06, 2021 10:54 am

Stay where you are. We'll send the police to iron your homework and piece it back together, then kneel on your throat for nine minutes.

Help! Kenneth Brannagh and Chuck Norris are both guests on Baking with Alphonse tonight!
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User avatar
Imperial Rifta
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1797
Founded: Sep 15, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Imperial Rifta » Sun Jun 06, 2021 11:01 am

We’re in the Endgame now

Help we’re in the endgame now!
Low quality posts from 2020-2023
Eagles - Braves - Crimson Tide - Kraken

BREAKING: Earlier this morning, a team of approximately eight gunmen entered a Riftan community plaza and mall where they opened fire, hitting over fifty people. The gunmen entered a firefight with a local Home Guard squad before being killed-in-action approximately fifty minutes after the carnage began. More news incoming as the RSB begins an investigation.
Top
User avatar
Perikuresu
Minister
 
Posts: 2016
Founded: Jan 02, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Perikuresu » Sun Jun 06, 2021 10:01 pm

Dunnnnnn dun dun dun dunnnnn, dun dun DUN DUN, DUN DUN, DUN DUN, DUN DUN, DUNNNNNNNNN

AVENGERS ENDGAME

Help I dreamed about a world where the Axis divided the world into German, Italian and Japanese spheres of influence
A Pacific nation or a MT liberalwank nation whose main premise is composed on a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities
NS Stats looked at Nightmarchers and died- Read my factbooks (NS Policies are canon though)
I comment on F7 way too much
Aerilia is lying! They're not a unicorn, they're a Welsh Dragon!
Top
User avatar
Colelund
Civilian
 
Posts: 0
Founded: May 25, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Colelund » Thu Jun 10, 2021 3:10 am

Stay where you are and make sure to give them two really big atomic bombs that are to be delivered by a specific courier named B.J blazkowicz, he knows how to deliver it nice and quick

Help I can't find site 19!
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