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911 what's your not emergency?

The place to relax, unwind, share a joke, and generally goof off.

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North Cromch
Envoy
 
Posts: 235
Founded: Apr 22, 2020
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby North Cromch » Tue Mar 30, 2021 7:46 am

Strangle Cut Man, then.

Help, a pile of... uhhhh... Let me check what it says... Jackie Chan Punches Eggman In The Face: Part 1. How do I get rid of these comic books that you read backwards?
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Lumio Magika
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 122
Founded: Nov 12, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Lumio Magika » Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:02 am

Burn them with holy fire until nothing but ashes remain!

Help! Someone glued pictures of Doctor Phil all over my house!
Last edited by Lumio Magika on Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
The Literary Minds's resident therapist-to-be. In my opinion, there's no greater feeling than the happiness you get when you help someone in need. I live my life for the sake of my friends and the people around the world that need my help.
Lumio out-of-context:
Lumio Magika wrote:Burn them with holy fire until nothing but ashes remain!
I don't use NS stats! Adunatum sub Lumina!
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The Jamesian Republic
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14583
Founded: Apr 28, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby The Jamesian Republic » Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:09 am

Oh well.


Help! I recently got stung by a jellyfish and what I had to do to subside the pain was horrible and my friends are pressuring me to tell them what happened! What should I do?!
Become an Independent. You’ll see how liberating it is.
My Political Beliefs: The Jamesianist Manifesto
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Traden
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 392
Founded: Nov 18, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Traden » Tue Mar 30, 2021 12:18 pm

Commit suicide.

Help! Otter is sus!
Current Member of SPSF (Tidal Force)
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Wolflandil
Envoy
 
Posts: 298
Founded: Jun 15, 2014
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Wolflandil » Tue Mar 30, 2021 1:02 pm

Just vote it out

911? Yeah, My sinks clogged again.
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Alaska Hawaii and the Aleutes
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 384
Founded: Dec 06, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Alaska Hawaii and the Aleutes » Tue Mar 30, 2021 1:04 pm

Your dynamite will arrive in 20 minutes

Help! Someone burned down my non-existent house!
OOC: Please note that all following factbooks are not fitted for dark mode or mobile!

The Federal Technocracy of
Alaska Hawaii and the Aleutes
Homepage | Overview | ASEA


AFC News : |International| The Japano-Taiwanese Confederation's president and the Alaskan chancellor will meet in Saipan to discuss the disputed territory of the Iwo Islands | Britannican-Alaskan dispute over the Indian Ocean Territory purchase |National| New Law preventing political monopolies in the provinces | Remembrance of the Untriti massacre a year ago | Man in banana costume tried to rob bank in Aleneva
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Earth Allies
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1189
Founded: May 18, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Earth Allies » Tue Mar 30, 2021 1:11 pm

CAMPERS!!!
------------------
Help!!! Wen update?
Last edited by Earth Allies on Tue Mar 30, 2021 1:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
World Health Organization
Part of the ICDN
Earth-1: HRM is head of Starfleet
Earth-NS: NS Forum, HRM is President of Earth Allies

Chads Bizarre Adventure wrote:You always make the best RPs 8)

To boldly..[Insert something here]
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Chan Island
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6824
Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Chan Island » Tue Mar 30, 2021 1:23 pm

The game's 20 years old, there's not going to be another update, stop pestering us!!!

-----------------------

Help, I've accidentally joined a cult!
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=513597&p=39401766#p39401766
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.
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The Snowylands
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 6
Founded: Feb 11, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby The Snowylands » Tue Mar 30, 2021 1:26 pm

Accidentally? You were destined to be with us :)

-

aw sh*t i dropped my dinner on the floor...
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Imperial Rifta
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1864
Founded: Sep 15, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Imperial Rifta » Tue Mar 30, 2021 2:33 pm

Eat it off the floor then. Just wash it with Lysol first. ;)

911! I was swallowed whole by a whale shark!
Low quality posts from 2020-2023
Eagles - Braves - Crimson Tide - Kraken -

News: The Riftan Professional Bailball League’s playoffs begin and the headlines are stolen by the massive upset by the Etnasa Warhorses over the Proxima Purple Knights in the first round. Meanwhile, the Sarif Beasts topple the Cesar Red after a low scoring game culminating in a one-point victory.
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Chan Island
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6824
Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Chan Island » Tue Mar 30, 2021 2:56 pm

Imperial Rifta wrote:Eat it off the floor then. Just wash it with Lysol first. ;)

911! I was swallowed whole by a whale shark!

How are you getting signal then, loser? Not today! I've foiled you, prankster!
-------------------------
Help! I've just swallowed coke and mentos!
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=513597&p=39401766#p39401766
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.
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Nova Catania
Diplomat
 
Posts: 950
Founded: Feb 14, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Nova Catania » Tue Mar 30, 2021 2:59 pm

Live stream it on the IntsaSnapGramBook, or whatever they’re using these days.




Help! I burnet the cake I had in the oven!
Last edited by Nova Catania on Tue Mar 30, 2021 2:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Skeletonica
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 5
Founded: Jan 29, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Skeletonica » Tue Mar 30, 2021 3:21 pm

Put it in the freezer until it unburns!

Help! I filed my nails and now I can't remember what folder they're in!
Sorry, my factbooks are VERY barebones at the moment! I'm in the process of fleshing them out now.
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The Snowylands
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 6
Founded: Feb 11, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby The Snowylands » Tue Mar 30, 2021 7:47 pm

unfile them, duh
-
help i accidentally called 112
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Cavirfi
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1165
Founded: Feb 28, 2021
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Cavirfi » Tue Mar 30, 2021 7:48 pm

The Snowylands wrote:unfile them, duh
-
help i accidentally called 112

Hallo, ich sprache kein Englisch *hangs up*

Help, a kid threatened to hack my Roblox account and he actually did.
I will no longer be using NS Stats (as I developed my own stats outside of NS) and I will no longer be answering NS Issues, all current NS Policies are canon

CAVIRFI ONE: Lambda League heading in 2024 Crabaiaian general election polls with 83% of opinion poll respondents declaring their intention to vote for them; Asia-Pacific political analysts worried about potential Cold War between Crabaiaia and the West and China over Southeast Asia should Lambda win with supermajority | Suspects who bombed Ostry public bus killing 116 on March 21 found guilty and sentenced to 25 weeks of corporal punishment; families of victims say punishment not enough | First Schulekonskripten students to graduate on May 17 | Average Temperature: 17℃
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The Snowylands
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 6
Founded: Feb 11, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby The Snowylands » Tue Mar 30, 2021 7:49 pm

Not only should you hack your account back, you should hack his for sweet revenge
-
Help I turned into a convertible
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Dolsterialo
Civilian
 
Posts: 0
Founded: Jun 02, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Dolsterialo » Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:03 pm

Have you tried disassembling yourself?

Please help my cat just stole my tank!
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Western Fardelshufflestein
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5048
Founded: Apr 21, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Western Fardelshufflestein » Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:43 pm

I don't see the problem.
Image
Hello? Sir, I am here to report a crime.
"..."
Yes, there seems to have been a murder. There is a dead body in my kitchen with a knife stuck in it.
"..."
Any witnesses? No, it's just me.
"..."
I saw everything
Because
Well
You see

I'm the baaaaaaad guuuuuuuuuuuy (duh)
The Constitutional Monarchy of Western Fardelshufflestein
Always Has Been. | WF's User Be Like | NSG is Budget Twitter | Yo, Kenneth Branagh won an Oscar
Tiny, Shakespeare-obsessed island nation northeast of NZ settled by HRE emigrants who thought they'd landed in the West Indies. F7 Stuff Mostly Not Canon; RP is in real time; Ignore Stats; Still Not Kenneth Branagh. | A L A S T A I R C E P T I O N
The Western Fardelshufflestein Sentinel | 27 November 2022 bUt wHy iS tHE rUm gOnE!?
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Guatemalan Corsica
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 17
Founded: Aug 03, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Guatemalan Corsica » Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:43 pm

this is not what i expected for you to dial 911

Help i dont know whats 6 x 3
Last edited by Guatemalan Corsica on Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I cannot eat a hamburger in 60 seconds, or speedrun World 8 in 60 minutes.
No, I'm not in India.

My Favorite Games: Always Super Mario
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Blue Nagia
Attaché
 
Posts: 98
Founded: Jan 12, 2021
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Blue Nagia » Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:47 pm

6x3 is 18, according to current rulings on the sanctity of mathematical formulas.

Help, everyone around me is humans.
-Ssaptashrungi Anaadisshakti the Swift-Taloned, Chief of Fleshling Public Relations

Blue Nagia: The Paradisiacal Island of Hippie Lizards
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North Cromch
Envoy
 
Posts: 235
Founded: Apr 22, 2020
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby North Cromch » Wed Mar 31, 2021 2:18 am

Become human, then.

He1p, 1'm B33n f0rc3d t0 u53 numb3r5!
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Guatemalan Corsica
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 17
Founded: Aug 03, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Guatemalan Corsica » Wed Mar 31, 2021 3:21 am

What the hell? You made too many typos.

Help i need a new keyboard i accidentally splat it with something white called yogurt
I cannot eat a hamburger in 60 seconds, or speedrun World 8 in 60 minutes.
No, I'm not in India.

My Favorite Games: Always Super Mario
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Greater Italy and Isles
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Mar 30, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Greater Italy and Isles » Wed Mar 31, 2021 3:25 am

Guatemalan Corsica wrote:What the hell? You made too many typos.

Help i need a new keyboard i accidentally splat it with something white called yogurt


Sure. Yogurt...

Help, the Germans are near!
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Guatemalan Corsica
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 17
Founded: Aug 03, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Guatemalan Corsica » Wed Mar 31, 2021 3:39 am

LETS BRING SOVIETS TO KILL THEM

help soviets will invade my country estonia
I cannot eat a hamburger in 60 seconds, or speedrun World 8 in 60 minutes.
No, I'm not in India.

My Favorite Games: Always Super Mario
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Nova Bromelia
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 138
Founded: Dec 23, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nova Bromelia » Wed Mar 31, 2021 3:42 am

Fear not! We have already sent in Finnish special forces to drink all the wodka before those Russki's arrive!


Help! Help! My room is a mess and I am too lazy to start tidying it up!
atheist (but I "belief in belief", sorry professor Dawkins ;-) ), he/him/they/them, ace/aro, humanist, idealist, environmentalist, and hypocrite.
This nation is a thought experiment, as well as a bit of a laughing mirror for my own views.
For: Climate Justice, Social Justice, Respecting the Universal Declaration of Human Rights of 1948 and the Convention on the Rights of the Child of 1990.
Against: Cynicism, Fascism, Fatalism, Corporate greed.
Black Lives Matter.
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