"Alternative Quotes"

[Pax Somaliana]

“Our hot air balloon brigade is top notch. Surely they will help us against Russia.”
-Napoleon Bonaparte

[The Cosmic Mainframe]

"I use arch btw"
- a bridge architect

[Zeritae]

"In soviet russia, workers revolt against you!"
-Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov, to Tsar Nicholas II

[State of Turelisa]

'It is stupid to die for one's country.'

Horace, the Roman poet and lyricist.

'My job is to stop Britain from going pink.'

Margaret Thatcher, British politician.

Of course I suffer from insomnia, but I don't lie awake at night thinking about it.'

A Goldwynism which Samuel Goldwyn didn't really say.

[Aurevbush]

"We're gonna build a little bridge to Mexico, and we will pay it all with our hard earned tax money. Mexico sends their best, they're bringing cool scientists, they're bringing churches, they're manly!"

-Donald J Trump, or Donaldo Juan Trujillo

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

"No song should be longer than three minutes."
-Freddie Mercury

[Alcala-Cordel]

Garfield is the emblem of the security, hope and innocence of childhood, which a man can spend his life seeking to regain. It is the green light at the end of Gatsby's pier; the leopard atop Kilimanjaro, seeking nobody knows what; the bone tossed into the air in “2001.” It is that yearning after transience that adults learn to suppress. “Maybe Garfield was something he couldn't get, or something he lost,” says Lyman, the reporter assigned to the puzzle of Arbuckle's dying word. “Anyway, it wouldn't have explained anything.” True, it explains nothing, but it is remarkably satisfactory as a demonstration that nothing can be explained. “Garfield Kart” likes playful paradoxes like that. Its surface is as much fun as any mascot kart racer ever made. Its depths surpass understanding. I have analyzed it a frame at a time with more than 30 groups, and together we have seen, I believe, pretty much everything that is there on the screen. The more clearly I can see its physical manifestation, the more I am stirred by its mystery. It is one of the miracles of videogames that in 1978 a first-time comic artist; a cynical, hard-drinking writer; an innovative modeller, and a group of New York stage and radio actors were given the keys to a studio and total control, and made a masterpiece. “Garfield Kart” is more than a great videogame; it is a gathering of all the lessons of the emerging era of 3D, just as “Birth of a Nation” assembled everything learned at the summit of the silent era, and “2001” pointed the way beyond narrative. These peaks stand above all the others.

- V.I. Lenin, State and Revolution

[State of Turelisa]

'In the future , everyone will be infamous for fifteen minutes.'

Andy Warhol, predicting YouTube.

'You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw money at every beggar that begs'.

Sir Winston Churchill.

'Those who do not forget the past are condemned to regret it.'

George Santayana -

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

THE ULTIMATE QUOTES FROM HAMLET

1. "Brevity is the soul of spit."

2. "Get thee to a quarantine!"

3. "To yeet or not to yeet, that is the question."

4.

"If you or a loved one has died due to most foul and unnatural murder, you may be entitled to financial compensation."

5. HAMLET: AAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEE!!!!!! I JUST STEPPED ON A LEGO!!!!!!

6. "Everything is fine in the state of Denmark."

[Trumpy America]

“Longevity is overrated.”
–Thomas Jefferson

[Atheris]

"I did not become a doctor to heal the Chinese; I became a doctor to heal China."
- Sun Yat-Sen

[Imperial Britannia]

“People often forget that it was I who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo, when I challenged him to an arm wrestling match.”
-Queen Elizabeth II

[Aivintis]

"Who's Joe?'

- Alan Watts

[Ubekibekibekibekistanstan]

"I saw a UFO once. They cut me off when I was flying over the Atlantic, and I was greatly offended by their rudeness. They flew in front of me for several miles, partly obstructing my view."
-Charles Lindbergh

[Douleia]

"My calender is probably a bit off, but I'm sure of my geography!"

- Ptolemy I, pharaoh of Egypt and patron of sciences.

[Mobius and the Biscay]

"[Alexander] is extremely hideous; his hair is practically a mess; his eyes are small and sickly, and he has an awful nose and a very sour mouth with coarse teeth; but the unattractiveness of his countenance is his lack of expression, which is most terrible." - Queen Victoria, remarking about Prince Alexander of the Netherlands

[Boring People]

"Congress secretly allowed me to buy the White House in 2009. I'm waiting for the right time to tell Mr. Trump about the rent clause; he's going to owe me a lot of money."
-Barack Obama

[Old Zealand Founder]

"I'm not actually the President. The entire thing is just a reality TV show."
- Donald Trump, as we are suddenly sucked into a time vortex back into 2016 where Ted Cruz is elected president

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

/bump

[System Auqani]

"A perfect plan executed in a week is better than a violent plan executed in a day" - Sun Tzu

[Feyrisshire]

"Beauty itself doth of itself persuade
Tis the most highest pinnacle of feminine elegance
And of womanly grace and of seduction
Is a youthful femboy cat girl"

-William Shakespeare, The Rape of Lucrece (1594)

[Conservative Republic Of Huang]

"Don't worry, Hitler crossed his heart and hoped to die. Peace in our time!"
-Neville Chamberlin, after returning from the Munich Agreement

[Piste-Land]

"About all those quotes you fellows attributed to my name...I did not utter a single one of them."

― Winston Churchill

[Boring People]

"I like wigs." - Robert Walpole

[Nevertopia]

"Check thineself before thy wreck thineself."
- Michaelangelo.