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Corrupt a Wish VIII

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:10 pm
by United States of Natan
So it looks like the old "Corrupt a wish" thread is gone, so I thought I'd start another one (not sure if the iteration # is correct or not; I'll fix it if it's not).

Rules are simple: You grant the wish of the person above you, but you corrupt it in a way that either changes it, goes by the exact, but unintended meaning of the words, or has unintended, perhaps far-reaching consequences, or whatever other way you see fit to corrupt the person's wish. You then make your own wish.

I wish I was a Waterbender.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:37 pm
by Destructive Government Economic System
Granted. You can only waterbend during the full moon, and performing spectacular techniques such as bloodbending will require full moons during the month of December.

I wish for Legos that aren't dangerous enough to kill me when I step on them~

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:38 pm
by Great Celestial China
Granted, instead they're mines

I wish our crusade against the weebs was successful

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 6:48 am
by United States of Natan
Great Celestial China wrote:Granted, instead they're mines

I wish our crusade against the weebs was successful

Granted, the weebs come back stronger a few years later and launch a successful crusade against you.

I wish for a hamburger

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:08 am
by Bluelight-R006
Granted. After eating the hamburger you must run the entire perimeter of North America, from Alaska to the Panama Canal and run alongside all rivers and lakes continuously.

I wish for pretty girls I can attract.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:10 am
by The Traansval
Granted, she has a dick.

I wish for a wallet that, everytime I open it, a five dollar bill appears in it magically.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:15 am
by Cul-Ed-Sac
Granted. Your wallet rejects anything that's not a five-dollar bill.

I wish I have a powerful telescope!

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:48 am
by United States of Natan
Cul-Ed-Sac wrote:Granted. Your wallet rejects anything that's not a five-dollar bill.

I wish I have a powerful telescope!

Granted, you accidentally use it to look to closely at a star.

I wish Hillary was President.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 8:18 am
by Bluelight-R006
United States of Natan wrote:
Cul-Ed-Sac wrote:Granted. Your wallet rejects anything that's not a five-dollar bill.

I wish I have a powerful telescope!

Granted, you accidentally use it to look to closely at a star.

I wish Hillary was President.

Granted. Hillary’s running mate is Donald Trump, but she was assasinated one second after she said her last word of the oath of office on her Inauguration Day, so Donald Trump was still president.

Antifastan wrote:Exterminate all East Asians worldwide now!
Nuke China and Japan today!

Granted, except all the East Asians, China and Japan were mistaken for the user of Antifastan during the nuking process, so you die instead of a billion people.

I wish for all the fast food I can eat without getting sick or fat!

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 8:43 am
by United States of Natan
Bluelight-R006 wrote:
United States of Natan wrote:Granted, you accidentally use it to look to closely at a star.

I wish Hillary was President.

Granted. Hillary’s running mate is Donald Trump, but she was assasinated one second after she said her last word of the oath of office on her Inauguration Day, so Donald Trump was still president.

Antifastan wrote:Exterminate all East Asians worldwide now!
Nuke China and Japan today!

Granted, except all the East Asians, China and Japan were mistaken for the user of Antifastan during the nuking process, so you die instead of a billion people.

I wish for all the fast food I can eat without getting sick or fat!

Granted, you eat it so fast you choke.

I wish for unlimited quesadillas.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 9:25 am
by The Traansval
United States of Natan wrote:
Bluelight-R006 wrote:Granted. Hillary’s running mate is Donald Trump, but she was assasinated one second after she said her last word of the oath of office on her Inauguration Day, so Donald Trump was still president.


Granted, except all the East Asians, China and Japan were mistaken for the user of Antifastan during the nuking process, so you die instead of a billion people.

I wish for all the fast food I can eat without getting sick or fat!

Granted, you eat it so fast you choke.

I wish for unlimited quesadillas.

Granted, so many quesadillas appear that the entire universe is now full of quesadillas and all live sufficates due to lack of oxygen from the space being taken up by quesadillas.

I wish for a pencil that is always sharp and never dulls

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 10:56 am
by United States of Natan
The Traansval wrote:
United States of Natan wrote:Granted, you eat it so fast you choke.

I wish for unlimited quesadillas.

Granted, so many quesadillas appear that the entire universe is now full of quesadillas and all live sufficates due to lack of oxygen from the space being taken up by quesadillas.

I wish for a pencil that is always sharp and never dulls

Granted, but it's so fragile that it breaks into several pieces immediately.

I wish more nations would join my region.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 11:00 am
by Flaireis
Granted, they invade you and nations that you have embassies with, leaving your nation and the region's reputation in shambles.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I wish for a will to live.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:00 pm
by Intercosmos
Flaireis wrote:Granted, they invade you and nations that you have embassies with, leaving your nation and the region's reputation in shambles.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I wish for a will to live.


Your will to live becomes determined by how wany memes you see a day.

I wish for infinite energy.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:34 pm
by United States of Natan
Intercosmos wrote:
Flaireis wrote:Granted, they invade you and nations that you have embassies with, leaving your nation and the region's reputation in shambles.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I wish for a will to live.


Your will to live becomes determined by how wany memes you see a day.

I wish for infinite energy.

Granted, it's electrical energy, and it overloads all the electrical equipment in your house.

I wish people would use my wikipedia-style factbook guides more often.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 6:13 pm
by Bluelight-R006
Granted. They steal all the info from you and you get banned from NS from claimed, stealing their content.

I wish I could poop on my bully’s food without him seeing it.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 10:39 pm
by Cul-Ed-Sac
Granted. The bully has a last-minute change of heart and shares the meal with you.

I wish for a magazine subscription that's good for one year.

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 1:54 am
by Mzincaelift
Granted. The other years, the magazine is terrible, and of course you have a lifetime subscription.

I wish I had the patience to write NS Factbook

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 1:56 am
by Ausinia
Granted, but you don’t know what to write on




I wish my NS military was better

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 5:11 pm
by Great Celestial China
Granted, because it's so good everyone declares war on you and you die

I wish I had more people working in my prison

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 7:28 pm
by Ausinia
Granted everyone who works there are prisoners

PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 12:06 pm
by Mzincaelift
Granted. However, you are unable to remember what your request was, making this wish pointless.

I wish to do well in my finals

PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 12:40 pm
by Totally not East Lodge
No dude I won't let you fail. You study hard, bro.

I wish I could lose 10 pounds.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 12:50 pm
by Tornado Queendom
Totally not East Lodge wrote:No dude I won't let you fail. You study hard, bro.

I wish I could lose 10 pounds.

Granted, you lose 10 British Pounds (the money the UK uses).

I wish for the purging of Forum 7 threads to stop

PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 12:52 pm
by The Black Party
wish granted, NSF is now completely un-moderated.

I wish the second world war never happened.