Corrupt a Wish VIII

by **Australian rePublic** » Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:09 am

Granted, but you also get supervillians who are more powerful than you and any nullificatiom attempts will nullify your powers, and give you a month of Diareah

I wish for ebony and ivory

by **Emperor Serpentine** » Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:24 am

Granted, but someone steals them.

I wish for a nuke.

by **Australian rePublic** » Wed Aug 28, 2019 3:04 am

Granted. It's delivered to you by parachuted air mail...

I wish for parachuted air mail

by **Emperor Serpentine** » Wed Aug 28, 2019 3:13 am

Granted. It delivers you a nuke...

I wish for a sword.

by **Sensorland** » Wed Aug 28, 2019 3:16 am

Granted. You now possess a tiny plastic sword, broken off of an action figure.

I wish for one US dollar.

by **Strahcoin** » Wed Aug 28, 2019 5:49 am

Sensorland wrote:I wish for one US dollar.

Granted; you are now under arrest for petty theft (since that dollar was stolen).

I wish solar farms are replaced with nuclear power plants.

by **Kromi** » Wed Aug 28, 2019 5:52 am

Granted, but the nuclear power plants would one day explode causing the world to respawn again.

I wish my old, useless phones would work again.

by **Talchyon** » Wed Aug 28, 2019 10:16 am

Kromi wrote:Granted, but the nuclear power plants would one day explode causing the world to respawn again.

I wish my old, useless phones would work again.

Granted. Your old useless phones work again. But now, they work against you.

I wish for an end to all corruption. (Corrupt that).

by **Fatatatutti** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:36 am

Talchyon wrote:I wish for an end to all corruption. (Corrupt that).

The definition of "corruption" has been corrupted - it now means "bottled water" - so bottled water is no longer available.

I wish for a cup of coffee.

by **The Wasatch** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:38 am

Fatatatutti wrote:
Talchyon wrote:I wish for an end to all corruption. (Corrupt that).

The definition of "corruption" has been corrupted - it now means "bottled water" - so bottled water is no longer available.

I wish for a cup of coffee.

The cup of coffee is literally boiling hot as you drink it.

I wish for an electric car.

by **Kynor** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:41 am

Granted it costs you both your legs and arms though

I wish for a pickled herring

by **Aurevbush** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 11:01 am

Kynor wrote:Granted it costs you both your legs and arms though

I wish for a pickled herring

Granted.

You can only eat pickled herring for 3 meals a day. Nothing more.

I wish I had unlimited tacos.

by **Talchyon** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:51 pm

Aurevbush wrote:
Kynor wrote:Granted it costs you both your legs and arms though

I wish for a pickled herring

Granted.

You can only eat pickled herring for 3 meals a day. Nothing more.

I wish I had unlimited tacos.

Granted. You are buried alive under unlimited flour tortillas, beef, shredded cheddar, salsa and guacamole. You die.

I wish I had gotten more done today.

by **Pand Quelle** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:56 pm

Granted, but then the UK takes it back

I wish the whole world is communist

by **Achaean Republic** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:28 pm

Granted, but you die of hunger along with everybody else.

I wish I had better hurricane supplies.

by **Sensorland** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:46 pm

Granted. You also now live in Kansas, and there's a tornado on the horizon.

I wish to press a red button that says "DO NOT PRESS".

by **Talchyon** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 4:54 pm

Sensorland wrote:Granted. You also now live in Kansas, and there's a tornado on the horizon.

I wish to press a red button that says "DO NOT PRESS".

Granted. It's defective and nothing happens. Other than you stub your finger.

I wish Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was a much better movie, and that I had seen it.

by **Boring People** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 5:38 pm

Granted. It was the greatest movie ever made, but you were so far back in the theater that you could only watch it through a telescope, and the sound din’t carry that far.

I wish Gibraltar was an independent country.

by **Kynor** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 5:42 pm

Granted, Spain and Britain fight for it starting a 3rd World War ending in nuclear winter

I wish that girls talked to me

by **Narland** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 5:51 pm

fixed

Window Land wrote:Granted, but I won't.

I wish for three wishing wishers wishing for more wishers

Granted, but the energy expended is so intense that because of the 2nd Law of Thermowishmatics all of everything from everwhen that ever was or will be implodes into a an indeterminate non-causal state of contiguously even wish-death whereof no wishes ever come true.

Kynor wrote:Granted, Spain and Britain fight for it starting a 3rd World War ending in nuclear winter

I wish that girls talked to me

Granted, you are now so talk-to-able that girls talk to you all the time, about anything and everything. They never listen and they never shut up.

I wish for myself to be cloned several times over so I can get all my work done.

by **Tondo Federation** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 6:31 pm

Granted, but as you gain more clones, the amount of work you have to do also increases that the clone-to-work ratio becomes disproportional.

I wish I lived during the 1950s

by **Jerkania** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 6:37 pm

Tondo Federation wrote:Granted, but as you gain more clones, the amount of work you have to do also increases that the clone-to-work ratio becomes disproportional.

I wish I lived during the 1950s

Your wish is granted. You are transported to the 1950s, but your status as a time traveler is discovered by the United States government, and the CIA detains you for interrogation to try and use your future knowledge as a weapon against the Soviet Union.

I wish that Disney Star Wars movies were actually good.

by **Achaean Republic** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 7:52 pm

Granted, but then the Disney Star Wars franchise becomes an addition to a theme park... Oh, wait.

I wish I'd never deal with anxiety ever again.

by **America-1980s** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 7:55 pm

Granted, but you become so overconfident that you pick a fight with a bodybuilder and end up dying of a snapped neck.

I wish I grew up in the 80's.

by **New Transeurasia** » Sat Aug 31, 2019 8:02 pm

Granted. You grow up in Iran.

I wish for a can of beans

Corrupt a Wish VIII

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